The Reality of Having an Affair
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- Опубліковано 30 лис 2020
- Jackie and Bobby explain how marriages can escape infidelity.
Maybe you’ve heard some statistics about the amount of spouses that cheat in their relationships. They’re not good. For Catholics, our idea of cheating is a bit broader than the secular world’s view, which can make it even scarier to discern marriage. It’s not an easy undertaking, but there are a few things we can do to strengthen our discipline and avoid infidelity in our relationships.
The first thing we need to realize is that everyone has the capacity for great good and great evil. We are all fallen human beings, prone to sin. It’s only through the grace of God that we are given strength to withstand temptations.
Because we have this natural capacity for temptation and sin, we need to take infidelity seriously. The world may tell you that pleasure is the highest good and that sex isn’t actually important, but not only are these ideas untrue, but they directly undermine the sacrament of matrimony.. Catholicism shows us that sex is not just about pleasure, but it’s a communion of souls with the beloved, and is meant to mirror the sacrificial love that Christ has for his Church. Treating sex as just another activity can lead us into believing that doing so outside of marriage, or with someone who is not our spouse, isn’t that big of a deal.
Another way we can fight against infidelity is to know ourselves and know our temptations. We all have certain triggers. The more we know how to avoid the near occasion of sin, the better we can fight temptations that come our way. Communication with your spouse is another huge part of this. Most affairs or temptations occur when tensions are high with your spouse. Seeking to communicate through frustrations and bumps in your marriage can help strengthen your bond.
Lastly, it’s important to remember that God’s grace is greater than any sin. It’s not impossible for a marriage to continue after an affair. The devil is constantly looking for any opportunity to separate what God has brought together. If we strive through prayer to be better, for the sake of the souls around us, there’s no trial that can’t be conquered through the mercy of God.
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My wife was ill for over 10 yrs before she died . We were married over 40 yrs and our love was special.I just didn't love her but was in love with her even more than the day we were married. After a yr or so my sons said dad we don't care if you find someone. I guess they were giving me their approval. I told them, I loved their mom so much that I could never even kiss another woman and I meant that. I'm so thankful for the time we had togther! Everytime I looked at her I thought boy I married way above me. She could of ran around and had almost any man she wanted. I quess this why I sat thousands of hours holding her. What an earthly angel !! When death is at your door the years of faithfulness is a blessing and a comfort. I miss you so much my love and I hope the Lord will bring you to me in the next life.
P.S I wasn't sure if I believed in God all my life until one day when I took my wife for a walk. Something happened that I will share at some point.
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
i’m gonna cry !! you have such a purely good and healthy outlook. God bless you !!
You definitely had a GODLY love! I pray my wife and I have the type of love you had until we both pass this life
That’s such a beautiful story Tom🥹 thank you for sharing!
@@Ngan.marianguyen , the story I did not tell I will now. My wife my still mobile but her cognitive ability was almost gone. I took her for walk and we ended up in front of the church we were married in. I told my wife we were married here but she said she didn"t remember that. I could see the hurt in her eyes as they teared up. Then she said, " I don't remember that but I remember one thing." I was almost in shock as she was speaking like a young wife. I said, what is that honey. She said," I don't remember getting married but I remember I love you.". It was then the world went quiet and we stood there hand in hand like we were the only 2 people on earth. Something happened that day that gave her back her memory or the part that counted which I never thought possible. My life had been worth living and I know God gave her that moment to tell what her heart felt.
I've been faithful to my wife for 15 years without straying. It's entirely possible. I avoid the near occasion of sin and then it's a non-issue.
👏👏👏👏🙌🙌!
Strong work! Avoiding the near occasion of sin. There it is.
I did that too. You can only control yourself.
That's good to hear that there are good men still out there.
I was faithful for 34, but it didn’t matter
@@susananello7844 It did and does matter.
I'm so glad you guys mentioned the culture, I think a lot of media, tv, movies, music, try to normalize immoral acts and downplay marriage. I love these marriage videos, they're awesome ✨
Absolutely agreed!
The book Swipe Right is really good at illustrating this. Its by a Prostentant. Easy read.
@@stephenhiker9807 I'll check that out, thank you. 👍
so there was no cheating before big media and internet? give me a break ! , it was never was reported like it is now or talked about for example liking to the sex scandal's in the catholic church which was brought to light 10, 15 years ago and how the church tried covering it up , this has been going on for hundreds years by the church ( or it was something the media wouldn't report in bygone days ) you can't hide under a rock anymore everything you do is tracked this is why it seems more persuasive now days it was always there you just didn't have the spot light to shine on it , so to speak .
@@sitka49 I think that’s perhaps what she meant - these things of course have always happened, but it’s much easier to normalize them and shine the spotlight, as you put it, with the media that we have today. You’re definitely right - we live and make the same mistakes each generation, only in different circumstances.
What struck me the most about this video is: "We have the capacity to do good and to do evil."
Self mastery is very important.
Great video. May God keep your marriage strong always
51 years of marriage. No cheating.
Wish I could LOVE this comment
I’m truly so happy for you, I just learned that my father hasn’t really stopped cheating over the span of 14 years. My parents celebrated their 51st anniversary just this May..I guess its the opposite of this comment
I need that 🥹
And remember, open relationships aren't cheating either
@@kbanghart Open relationships are unholy and disgusting
Cheating is greed. It goes hand-in-hand with chronic lying. Betrayal shows a level of hatred for your spouse and a complete lack of respect or empathy for them. How can a marriage become stronger after that? The warfare between spouses can die down but there will never be complete trust again. Perhaps tolerable for some but now a marriage in name only. Now we are left with an arrangement for the benefit of the children. Not a marriage, just an arrangement.
Exactly how I feel.
Pray the Rosary for the restoration of your marriage.
And remember, open relationships aren't cheating.
@@kbanghart- what are you talking about???? If you’re referring to open marriages then that’s not a marriage either, its something else just not a marriage.
@@sunshinegirl4660 who says it's not a marriage?
I was told that when a husband starts to confide in emotionally to another woman (not his wife) is it a precursor for infidelity. This makes a lot of sense because to a woman emotional connection is everything and this makes the husband more vulnerable. It may seems harmless, but it can have dire consequences. One good rule of thumb I found really helpful is that if you aren’t willing to say what you are telling the other person with your spouse there, then it has crossed the line.
Thank you Jackie and Bobby for being such good role models!!
But what if you spouse is the last person you’d share your thoughts or emotions with? What if you were despised by them? Mocked? Belittled? There’s things I share with even everyday mundane not-even-that-close friends of either gender I wouldn’t share with my wife.
@@davidoof1826 I suggest you two can together go to confession or just a regular meetup with a priest to figure things out
@@reintaler6355 ...or...if you can control your anger/frustration just try and talk and listen. Listening to the 'reasons' can be hard but usually you'll get little bits of actionable truths mixed in. It didn't deteriorate overnight, it won't change for the better overnight either.
Women are much much more guilty of emotional cheating than men, which men consider MUCH worse than physical cheating. Very misleading to say that men do this without calling out women for this as the primary sinners. Of course women never hold themselves or each other accountable for their actions. Women Hate accountability,
"As if I'm going to spontaneously combust..." 😂 love this line
"It was just casual sex."
I've heard this too. Not true. Really hurts. Trust me!
"If someone has cheated in marriage that it is possible to have healthier marriage in the other side of that."
Absolutely!
THANK YOU for making this video J & B! I never thought my beautiful bride would have an affair (multiple times in fact). The pain I experienced as the spouse was unbearable at times. But during that time I prayed more than I ever did; in part because I needed God's grace & the wisdom, and I had no friends/family around me to moral support.
If you're reading this and you're currently going through this in your marriage, I'm here to tell you it gets better. Yes you're emotionally numb, physically hurting. But through God's grace we persevered and our marriage is better now. Pray, pray, pray 🙏.
Despite enduring a sexless marriage I had no interested in casual sex on the side. But meeting someone with whom I had a deep and profound connection? Oh, then it didn’t take long to progress to a full physical relationship.
@Ray Domingue - would it be possible to discuss how you healed further with you (same situation).
I believe this, 2.5 years after finding out I see tiny signs of reconciliation. Not easy, because I still want that apology and to see some remorse. Instead of anger though I am able to see the deep turmoil in her and the attempts to numb.
This is not an inherent talent I have ever possessed so I can't take credit for it. I can only personally take credit for responding to God after several good whacks showing me that an angry response to her actions provided only momentary personal victory and nothing good for her or the kids.
Thank you
Do you trust her still?
I have this expirience within my Wife's infidelity, it hurts alot knowing that i lost the sacrment of marriage, how often she mssg me in Caps lock words, sometimes i wonder why the cheater is so very brave for i was thinkin thhat i should be th one who needs to be angry but my wife's more angrier than me, but what i do for 2 years is i pray for her spiritual strenght and moral values, i should care for her soul inspite the pain she's givin me and my Daughter
In my case with my wife, I have come to understand that anger and resentment are the festering things that help her justify her behaviors.
Nothing out of the ordinary to be angry or resentful over but in her view there is. That's very helpful to understand.
For selfish people even the smallest thing will make them justify betrayal
Thank you for this video. It’s helped me immensely! God bless you both.
Thanks, my family, wife and four kids are Baptists, I’m Church of England, I’m recently, seriously converting to Catholicism
Welcome home!
I love your videos, keep up the great work. :)
thank you I'll pray for you! you bet! thank you for the informative video that was great! you're so open & honest. so refreshing. my husband & I are looking for more of your videos right now
You guys are awesome! ☺️
Thanks for these practical videos on the vocation most ppl are called to!
Fun fact, all people are
@@benjamingerwi8414 Great point!
I've been married 35 years never cheated , and I can say a third of our marriage was good , never had a lot IN common and not from a lack of trying.
That's so sad 🥲 My heart goes out to you
Thank you two. God bless you.
Thank you for the video. I was wondering if you two could do a video on tips, advice or guidance for marriages where a spouse is non-catholic?. My husband was converted to catholicism only after my dad made it clear that he wouldn’t let us marry if he didn’t convert. He goes to church with me and the kids, but that’s about it. He has no faith at all and oftentimes I feel like I’m walking on this faith journey and instilling the Catholic faith in my kids alone. I will keep praying and offer my husband and marriage to our loving Blessed Mother. God bless you and your family.
Thanks for the video...God bless u both and your family.... I'll remember this when i get married.... Marriage and sex is sacred...people should know that..👍👍
3 years later and I am commenting on this video. I finished reading the catechism of the Catholic Church on the sacrament of Marriage and the 6th commandment you sham not commit adultera. It says that any lustful thoughts, masterbation, and pornography are adultery.
I'm twice married, affairs happened and I can say without a doubt, God - and only God heals the wounds from before and after the affairs. Trust in Him with your whole heart. Seek Mary's comfort.
Great video. Thanks
Most favourite fellows in Word on Fire Institute❤️
You are amazing.
God bless you 😇
Please pray for me and my fiance💗
💕💕💕
God bless you!
I really enjoy your videos, thank you, especially as I prepare for my own marriage. Btw ...Jackie, your eye makeup is on point.
My friends dad cheated on her mom after fifty something years of marriage and to this day I still can't understand what he was thinking....He kept coming and going and would stay away for months and then come back again. At the end he left her mom for good and got divorced. It was hard seeing my friends mom go thru what she went thru.....👎
Cheating is the worst pain you can cause your spouse. My husband of 27 years cheated on our marriage with his married coworker, Maureen. We all found out on our family vacation.
Thank you! This video also helps us single people to discern a potential spouse better... As, marriage will take a lot of work and self sacrifice..
I’ve never had any desire or inclination to cheat on my husband.
21 years here and although I had countless opportunities over the years, never did I act on those temptations. Cannot say the same for my wife.
There is going to be a trust issue for the aggrieved partner to overcome, when an adulterous partner wants to make the marriage work again. This can actually cause stress on both sides especially if the adultery happened in the office and the offender continues working there.
I also notice that nowadays people do not respect marriages, are opportunistic and would not think twice to try and get with a married person. They use sweet-talking, ego-boosting complimenting to achieve their aims. Most of the time, the opportunities present themselves during office parties or pub outings where drinks are flowing and drugs are likely to be consumed, as is very common nowadays.
Certainly agree with the criticism of the cultural influence on our views on sex. But I think we often blame the culture too much. I say this because infidelity has been around from time immemorial. It's nothing new. And it has existed even within religious cultures.
There are a number of deeper issues. "The grass is greener on the other side" mentality is something that tempts us all in various ways. Our sense of commitment is something that has to be cultivated and practiced. It's natural to want out when things aren't going the way we want. But commitment means forgoing that prerogative. It's unnatural. It's a supernatural ability that must be cultivated. It means deciding that I will do something because I am convinced it's right, regardless of what my partner may or may not decide to do. Commitment is an active process. Marriage isn't a passive undertaking. You can't just get married and relax, putting forth no spiritual and relational effort. Good marriages don't just happen. They must be tended, and recommited to daily.
"It's good for a man not to touch a women"
- 1 Corinthians 7 : 1
The next verse and the entire chapter is just brilliant. Only holy spirit could put such a wisdom into Saint Paul.
Youngsters, kindly memorize
1 Corinthians 7.
Infidelity is unacceptable. As Scripture says, God will give you the means to fight temptation. I was faithful for 17 years when I was married. I hope I can find another good man. They're out there, ladies.
Despite being good to my wife for 20+ yrs, it didn’t stop her from emotionally and verbally abusing me, ultimately culminating in her betraying me. I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want to make a mistake, leaving and ending up miserable and alone or staying and having the abuse continue (note that she has been quiet and calm towards me, but my guard is constantly up around her). When she calls me from another part of the house, texts me during the day or anything for that matter, I just get a strange feeling come over me.
@@tazdrum73 Speak to a Priest for spiritual counsel. God does not expect someone to stay in an abusive situation. Praying for you 🙏
@@user-cl6uj5bn2f Thanks for your kind words. I have asked her for a divorce but now she is telling me that she’s heartbroken. I’m the one that got betrayed and she’s heartbroken - kinda twisted if you ask me. Despite this I am stuck in this feeling that no matter what I do, whether I stay or leave, that I’m making a mistake.
@@tazdrum73 i hope you’re doing well ❤️
@@dan-ch8kr The divorce was finalized a few months ago after being separated for almost a year. Although things can be difficult at times, I’m doing well. Because of the kids I have no choice but to communicate with her but it is very hard as my guard is always up with her. I met someone new and have been seeing her for several months. She is truly amazing and very caring and understanding of what I went through. She went through something similar. I now believe that everything that happened was meant to happen for us to find one another. I thank God for bringing her into my life every day.
Actually helped a lot... helped me realize a lot more stuff in jus a lil over 8 minutes. Thank yall
being more aware and accountable, of expectations of one's beloved while in an emotional relationship helps.
wish my dad would watch this video. Don’t even know how many times he’s cheated on my mom.
🙏 this broke my heart. 😟 She can actual bind the spirits of lust and infidelity and command them to go in Jesus' name. But in the meantime a constructive separation is probably in order.
Whats the problem with your mom that he would do that? ( If it's true).
@@wolfthequarrelsome504 out of line. Why would someone else be to blame for his choices?
@@leekflower1 she could not be submitting and not giving sex
Sadly we live in a society that is morally and spiritually bankrupt, not everyone, but most people see marriage as it's just something to do, rather then what it is sacred
Speaking of holy marriages. Do you guys know Saint Giana Molla and her husband B. Pietro Molla? If not, it is fantastic reading. Plus a modern example of how to love a joyful marriage!
*live
It's easy to judge people. Your better off forgiving and moving on with your life.
Are you going to continue your Ascension Presents videos while working on your Fellowship for Word on Fire?
@Catholics Around The World yes
Affairrecovery.com has the best and most beautiful help on this issue. I think it's hard to talk to people about "infidelity" if you have not experienced it - that is if they are struggling with it.
Affair recovery has been a life line
They do a good job and have insights that have been helpful.
Absollutely.
Don't get close to it or indeed you will do it.
My husband committed adultery and confessed to our priest, but he refuses to admit it to me even though I have proof. He did this with his ex wife - cheated a couple of times then blamed their divorce on her cheating. He also had an affair with a married woman. I found this out after the annulments were valid and we got married. Is his confession valid? Doesn’t he have to admit to me that he cheated especially if I already know?
Anyone knows exactly what the Church's perspective is when the spouse has already cheated? What does the Church recommend the cheated-on spouse do?
What if it’s habitual?
I was going to tell you about all the drama at the convent, but then remembered it’s nun of your business. HAHAHA. I love this channel. If you want, head over to my channel to see even more Catholic videos!
For the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ!! Romans 6:23.
I hate how God makes us broken. It is also annoying how difficult self mastery is. I often want to give up. I feel like I'll never overcome my vices. No matter how much I pray I still have stupid flaws. I'm all prayer but no work. Pray for me.
God breaks you to get you stronger. Remember brother, God is the only one who really loves you to such an extent. He won't do the work for you, because if He would you'd be left weak. Life is a struggle to become strong and reach God's light, take over yourself and become the best you could be
@@PivotAnimator999 I'm very self aware of my flaws. The difficulty comes from actually doing the work to change. I'm always thinking and all talk. I've always been extremely sensitive. I still haven't outgrown that as an adult. Maybe that is a flaw I'll carry my whole life. How many prayers do I have say a day to one day be more patient, accepting, honest, grateful, etc?
God doesn’t make you broken, God makes us in His perfect image and likeness. Hate to say this but YOU make YOU broken, you sin and you are never going to be able to fix yourself by yourself. Keep in prayer, persevere and Christ will keep on forming you so that you may return to Him in the perfect form in which He desired for you, hold true to the prayer and clasp to it like a husband to his wife. Focus on one vice at a time and really really work at that one and ask Christ for the grace to reform and He will grant it to you, He never lets any evil into our lives that He cannot bring good out of, nor does He let any bad come upon us without the perfect amount of grace to help us in our time of need. You will overcome your vices and find your home in Christ’s heart, I’ll say an our Father, Hail Mary and Glory Be for you, rest in Him and know that you are loved
@@NonNisiTeDomine24 Thank you for your prayers. I don't think we choose to be broken. Sure, we always choose to sin. We have an inherent tendency to sin. It is our nature. Some of our brokenness comes from our environment too. Not everyone comes from a loving Christian home in a secure neighborhood. I was blessed with a good life but I cannot deny that I still hold onto wounds from things that have happened to me. People are born deformed, mentally ill, diseased, blind, disabled - how are we made in God's image? There are some people God blesses with very healthy bodies, extreme physical beauty, wealth, strength, intelligence, charm/charisma.
Why does God let some children die in starvation while others are blessed with physical beauty, wealth, health, etc?
@HL - Hombres Libres MGTOW Wouldn't life be easier if we were perfect or if it was easier to overcome our sins?
I think most people who are either being physically or verbally abused, even after counseling has failed, look to find someone who really loves and appreciates them. Either that or stay in an abusive marriage, or live single and without love and sexual intimacy the rest of your life.
Yes. This was true in my case. Emotional and even physical abuse. And for years, even then, I resisted occasional opportunities to ‘cheat’.
But then found a soulmate, also married. Also a very committed Christian.
If it was just about animalistic casual sex it’d be all so much easier. True affairs are usually emotional in nature, sometimes taking a long while to progress onto a physical encounter.
Interesting thoughts.
4.20: it's true I don't understand why, however if things get stagnant , the tendency for cheating is extremely high , as compared to sorting out your own doubts or restlessness with your own self and then your spouse
I have a feeling that people who are really devout, not just go to church on Sundays but frequent reception of the sacrament of reconciliation probably dont have a problem with this.. . There are exceptions though
Infidelity isn't caused by bad marriages. There are lots of bad marriages and typically only one person cheats. It's a lack of integrity. The church is I'll equipped to help infidelity survivors. As an infidelity survivor, I can attest to this. The church could not, did not help us. We are married in the Catholic Church and there was no one. Thankfully we found help eventually.
What kind of help? What did your help look like?
*You should've left him. Infidelity is a death sentence for a relationship. Forget it.*
@@hansblitz7770 Divorce does not exist in the Catholic Church. In fact, infidelity is, to the Church, not enough to justify an annulment. The only thing they could do is is separate but they certainly aren't allowed to find someone else during that separation.
@@alexink123 That's on paper, not reality.
@@hansblitz7770 It is indeed reality, at least, for the Church and Jesus Christ.
Fr Jonathan you are really opening our hearts l am sure with practical insights for a holier preparation for Advent.examples of daily ordinary things to such a spiritual boost.
One better than the other.cant wait for tomorrw.
Tune in to Pauline Christmas Concert tonight on UA-cam
"HOME FOR CHRISTMAS" IT IS NOW VIRAL because.......
.
Not sure I understood the statement from 4:07
One year seven years and 20 years most likely for affair
@@kwkw5711 Thank you. She said it so fast that I thought she meant when you are 20 years old. Didn't realize it was the number of years married. Makes sense
@@Marontyne I just watched it again. Year 1, year 7 and year 20 in marriage is where infidelity is
💯🕊
❤❤❤
Self mastery--something not encouraged, rewarded in our culture, period.
What should you do if your husband has been unfaithful more than once. Should you forgive. And how?
Say the Rosary for your husband and look to the Saints for comfort. St. Rita comes to mind.
The look on his face, lol.
My parents didn’t cheat and other couples that I know. I’ve been tempted because my husband can make me feel like I am nothing at times. He has been working with me on this.
My wife and I were separated for a while, and in that time we were intimate with others. It actually turned out very good for our marriage and we're both happily back together now.
@@kbanghart Well I’m glad things worked out for you. I would take that to confession because it’s a sin for both parties. My husband and I are divorced now and I’m very happy because he is a narcissist gaslighter who verbally/emotionally, disability and financially abused me. I am now working on how to make ends meet because my financial support from my one sister and mother has stopped. My mom passed away 9 months ago and my sister doesn’t have money to help me financially right now. He wanted to remain friends but he kept on abusing me through the phone so I confronted him and blocked him.
@@geraldineekhator5428 I am so sorry that happened to you. As for myself, I don't do confession but yes I do speak with god.
@@kbanghart thank you! I’m glad that you speak to God. One really good prayer is the rosary of the holy wounds! So if you have a problem with saying a Hail Mary, then that’s a Rosary and you can say because it’s directly talking to God. Jesus did make it evil to be available for people through the apostles and soul. If you do want to go to a priest for confession sometime that would be great because it’s Jesus in there and not the priest. The priest is there an body, but it’s God that forgives the sin in confession.
So you almost encouraged cheating by saying that it actually can solidify marriage.
Those who cheat in their marriage may also were not virgins when they married.
But if they are repentant non-virgins then I think they are less likely to cheat than unrepentant non-virgins
Don't know if this is true? Many virgins at marriage listen to the world and "want more" and venture out of marriage to sample other women/men.
Can you explain what you said "your one a marriage, you're 7, you're 20"
Right. In context I was guessing years 1 7 and 20.
Had the same question;I think she meant within the first year, 7th year and 20th year in marriage is where it happens
I like to hear a good Catholic Man's perspective on this topic, it reminds me that these men exist. The wife's comment on sex being a "precursor to Heaven" was a bit much though...🤔 Kind of made it seem like it's this special club married people get to be in...but the Unity with God part was I think what she was trying to articulate, which is Church teaching. Just didn't love her wording...it was a bit off for me.
I think Jackie's response and wording is one that I've heard from other faithful Catholics like Jason Everett, Christopher West, and I believe it has some grounding in Theology of the Body (Pope SJP2).
I'm trying to understand that wording, too! I think I have so many unresolved many sexual wounds, I associate intimacy with shame. It's something I have to remember to bring to prayer all of the time.
(I don't at all think she means that marital intimacy is the ONLY foretaste of Heaven.)
It’s easy when you have two people working on it together
Sono cattolico per sempre
Satan will always send people and temptations your way in order to destroy marriages and we are living in times where more women are not happy in their marriages and destroying their own marriages more than ever before more women are cheating on their spouses than the men are, and their kids are the ones who pay the ultimate price in the separation and divorce. Those of you who are in the process of cheating on your spouse because you are bored or not happy don’t do it fight for your marriage and repent before God and your spouse don’t hold any secrets from your spouse especially if you are cheating on them because eventually you will get caught and exposed, the truth always comes out to the surface no matter how hard you try to hide it and exposes your cheating and bad behavior and you have no idea how terribly God’s Holy Spirit is grieved when two people who are married to each other cheat on the other spouse they are not just betraying their spouse their marriage vows to each other but they are also betraying God and that is nothing to be proud about some people leave their spouse destroy their marriage and end up with someone so much worse .
When You start feeling alone in your marriage, That is probably going to be the time you start looking for companionship elsewhere....
Certain career paths will have you feeling this way real quick; Military (long deployments), truck driving (OTR), etc....
My wife of 9 years Catholic now is living in sun.
I sometimes wish that these conversations would happen with devout Catholic to whom this has happened to. Did this happen to you, did you cheat? While I agree with a lot of what you say, a lot of it is more than culture and a “dopamine rush.” It’s more than the simplistic view you hav e presented, as a married devout Catholic, who’s marriage had an infidelity, a lot of the thing you are saying is really off, sorry, it’s not always that simple... it just isn’t.
Check out the channel called Queen of Peace. A story of infidelity in marriage is there, the repentance, reconciliation and healing is also there in 2 parts
I also expected sth else from the video. This was more a talk to prevent cheating, rather than to deal with it once it happemd, its ok, but itd be nice if they did another one adressing it like that
Yes, the title “ reality of an affair” was misleading.
I am a devout Catholic & have been living with the effects of infidelity in my marriage.
I just realised that there are not many married saints.
Maybe not that are publicly canonisation, but remember there are many Saints who are never recognised by the Church on Earth who are heaven.
@@Joss1245 Yes but Saints are role models.
@Wilmina Robinson please share. I find so many saints unrelatable.
Saint Monica for one. She endured so much and her reward was a converted husband, mother in law, and son who became st. Augustine.
Why have I never noticed that Bobby looks like Aaron Rogers
The divorce and remarriage for adultery doctrine is based solely on the supposed guilt of the wife in Matthew 5:32, and Matthew 19:9. However, the wife in Matthew 5:31-32 is clearly not guilty of fornication because the Jews that Jesus was speaking to were still living under the law, and if fornication was discovered, there was a moral obligation to report the offender according to Deuteronomy 22:13-24. The wife, who would have been found guilty of fornication, was subsequently stoned to death, according to the law, which had still governed the Jews up until Christ's death on the cross. The same for a woman caught in adultery, according to Leviticus 20:10. How could a wife, guilty of fornication, or adultery, under the law of Moses, be given a writing of divorcement and be caused to commit adultery with whosoever marries her, that is divorced? Jesus is clear, in these examples, that the wife is not guilty of fornication, but is still caused to commit adultery if she marries another man now that she is divorced. This is the only way that Matthew 5:31-32, and Matthew 19:9 keep harmony with Romans 7:2-3, and 1 Corinthians 7:39.
Unlike the synoptic gospels of Mark and Luke, which were written to evangelize the Gentiles, Matthew was written to the Jews, and has of 24 characteristics that identify it as intended for the house of Israel.
The ancient Jews called the betrothed (engaged) "husband" and "wife" according to Deuteronomy 22:23-24, Matthew 1:18-25, and Luke 2:5-7.
Deuteronomy 24:1-4 (Moses's precept of divorce and remarriage) was never for fornication or adultery. Allowing those guilty of fornication and adultery to remain living and become a prospect for remarriage was against the law of Moses in Deuteronomy 22:13-24 and Leviticus 20:10, which commanded that those who were found guilty of fornication and adultery be put away from Israel, and stoned to death.
The law of Moses was not given to the world, only to the Jews. From the exodus, to Christ's death on the cross, the law of Moses governed the Jewish people. But when Jesus died on the cross, he caused the Jews to be dead to the law of Moses so they could be joined to Christ under a New Covenant. This is what Jesus's fulfillment of the law of Moses, including Deuteronomy 24:1-4 (Moses's precept of divorce and remarriage), means. Paul gave several warnings to Christian believers against keeping the law of Moses over following Christ and his commands under the New Covenant with Christ. Keeping the whole law is no longer possible for those in Israel and that is why Christ prophesied that the temple would be destroyed. These scriptures make it clear that if you choose the law over Christ, that you must keep the whole law: Romans 7:4, Galatians 3:1-9, Galatians 3:10-29, Galatians 4:1-7, Galatians 4:21-31, and Galatians 5:1-15.
Being unequally yoked to unbelievers is not a cause for divorce, once two become one-flesh in a covenant of marriage, according to 1 Corinthians 7:12-14. Many one-flesh covenant marriages between unbelievers are recognized by God in the scriptures, most notably the marriage covenants between Herodias and King Herod's brother Philip, Potiphar and his wife, Ahab and Jezebel, and Ruth to her deceased husband Mahlon by Boaz when he took her to be his wife.
Some are teaching that 1 Corinthians 7:15 implies that those who are abandoned by the unbeliever, are "no longer bound" in a one-flesh covenant of marriage. The reason this is in conflict is due to the way they word it, which gives it an entirely different meaning, and context. 1 Corinthians 7:15, says, "15But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace." As you can see, the actual scripture says "not under bondage," which means that the husband or wife is not enslaved to sin with the unbelieving spouse, and is free to worship Christ in peace. Subsequent translations have changed the words to imply that they nullify the marriage covenant, when this is not at all the case. The issue that this creates is with 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, which says, "10And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife." As you can see, those who claim 1 Corinthians 7:15 has the Apostle Paul giving permission to remarry do not understand that the abandoned husband in 1 Corinthians 7:11 is expected to also remain unmarried, in order to be reconciled with his wife. The theory that 1 Corinthians 7:15 nullifies two as being one-flesh in marriage puts the Apostle Paul directly at odds with Christ, by implying that he has issued an opposing command.
Some also teach that 1 Corinthians 7:27-28 is referring to both divorced men and virgin women, and not exclusively to men and women (virgins) who have never been married. This has been falsely taught for some time in churches as referring to anyone who is not currently in a marriage, which, for them, also includes those who are divorced. This is a very false assumption, and puts these verses in a different context, that is at odds with both the teachings of Christ and the apostle Paul. We see Paul refer to virgins, which signifies the unmarried who have never before been wed, which is the proper context here. We see Paul saying clearly that it is good for virgins, which is also speaking to never before wed men here, "that it is good for a man so to be." He goes on to say, "Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife." Who is he referring to here? Men who, like himself, have never married. The word "bound", in these verses, is a clear reference to betrothal (engagement) and not to a one-flesh covenant of marriage. The ancient Jews were considered bound as husband and wife during the betrothal (espousal/engagement) before becoming one-flesh in a covenant of marriage, through consummation. This is affirmed by the context of the term "bound" seen in Numbers 30:14-16.
The Jewish couples in ancient Israel, who were betrothed (engaged) were also bound together until death, either by execution for fornication, or by other causes. Then Paul says, "But and if thou marry, thou has not sinned", which is who? The men who had never married in the congregation at Corinth. So he begins with verses 25-26 speaking exclusively to men that have never married. Paul then says, "and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned", which is speaking directly in regard to virgin women who have never been married, within the congregation, not divorced women. Notice that verse 34 says, "There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband." Paul speaks plainly when he says "there is a difference between a wife and a virgin." Paul goes on to say, "But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry." This is speaking of a virgin who has become of age to bear children when it says, "let them marry." This is a clear command, to a single man, who has taken a virgin to be his wife. Paul then says, "Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well." This is referring again to the single man who decides it is better not to marry, but to stay betrothed (engaged), under the present distress, by saying that he "hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin." Paul then says, "So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better", which again means single men, in the congregation, who have betrothed a wife, do well if they marry, and those who choose not to marry their virgin brides do better, under the current climate. For more proper context of the word "bound", let's look further down in this chapter to verse 39, which says, "39The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 7:39). For so long, these scriptures, between verses 25-38, have been twisted and used to enable divorce and remarriage, by wayward churches and teachers, and have caused many to stumble and to be trapped in unscriptural unions.
The use of the woman at the well, in regard to marriage, falsely implies that Christ was endorsing remarriage after a divorce. This teaching is in defiance of Matthew 22:23-28, which shows a woman who had been widowed seven times, and entered into each subsequent marriage without any scriptural conflicts with God's law of marriage (one-flesh covenant) seen in Genesis 2:23-24.
Mark 10:1-12 and Matthew 19:1-12 both record Christ's teaching that day beyond the Jordan. There is no mention of the words "fornication", "writing of divorcement", or "divorced" in Mark's Gospel, because Mark was not written to the Jews (as Matthew's Gospel was), but to evangelize the Romans and Greeks, who had no knowledge of the law of Moses in Deuteronomy 22 or Deuteronomy 24. All of these facts draw a clear understanding that remarriage after a divorce, under the New Covenant with Christ, is a scripturally false and baseless teaching. Please use wisdom when living in any situation against what the scriptures command.
Hope this never happens to you two. People do go bad after years. A daily choice. Never safe from this hell.
*If a partner does this they are tainted forever. Forget they even exist. Hopefully they have the decency to split things evenly and vanish. Accept nothing else.*
Neither of these statements are rooted in christian forgiveness. I'm not saying you sit around and let it happen. Get help for sure.
@@leekflower1 Ha,
Yeah, forgive, apart.
@@hansblitz7770 it's depends highly on whether the cheater is repentant. I have survived my husband's porn addiction and we are better than we've ever been. There was a lot we both needed to learn and there were a number of very difficult years but I'm glad we didn't give up. I thought it would be a deal breaker for me before going through it. And we still can't let the guard down because this world is FULL of temptations.
There is a difference between men cheating and women cheating and the reason they do it. And, Women are more likely to forgive and stay together than men.
@@deliarealtor what are you saying?
It's OK to have friends outside marriage but marital sex is holy and sacred its for marriage only, for the benefit of children, so why would you upset your children by breaking you're vows. Love you're husband and obey him keep him sacred.
What if your spouse is not healthy, boring, not engaged, mismatched. Our foretaste of heaven is quite difficult, lonely and without hope. Its great when a beautiful, healthy couple like Jackie and Bobby make videos, telling those of us who live in weak marriages that this is all our lives will be. Such arrogance.
Our foretaste of Heaven is the Holy Mass. Life is difficult, lonely, and often without hope. Doesn’t give you the excuse to be an adulterer.
A cheater is always a cheater
This is way too religious for the common person! What if you're not happy in your situation!?!? What if u find love outside of marriage!?!?
There is not love outside of marriage. Only lust.
2:05
Seriously?
Yes, what is controversial about that statement? That's part of the catechism and demonstrated in the Song of Songs
@@Twilightblade7 Did I say it was controversial? It is simply ignorant.
@@rjskeptic5273 Hey hope you are well, and safe.
In regards to what you said can I just ask, Ignorant in what aspect? Like for us we think sex is something so beautiful and sacred, I mean it is the most intimate you can get physically with someone. And when you have sex you're saying that you love the other, and thats a bit more harder than it looks, like you're saying you'll always be there, protect, care for, guide, and serve the other for better or for worse ( and many more things as well of course).
So when you make that promise it can't be halfhearted or just a feeling it's gotta be deep a deep commitment, any less is not what the other deserves, because your partner deserves to be truly loved, and so do you.
And even biologically when you have sex you really are connecting on a whole different level in terms of what goes on physiologically. Sex is perfected in marriage, it's the free complete giving of one person to another, isn't that the intimacy we all like search for?
Anyways sorry if I rambled have a good one mate, always welcome here.
@@abelj5145 you're missing the point. To believe sex is only between a man and woman is ignorant of sexuality.
@@rjskeptic5273 To believe any other kind of sex outside of a married man and woman is okay is grave matter (to my knowledge)
start speaking of the devil - im outta here..
Sex doesn’t happen unless the woman gives it over. Understand HYPERGAMY
takes two to do the deed. Don't blame it solely on hypergamy
Monogamy is miserable.
I could say the same for polygamy. Superficial works of the flesh.
Thanks for the video...God bless u both and your family.... I'll remember this when i get married.... Marriage and sex is sacred...people should know that..👍👍
What if it’s habitual?
If someone is a habitual cheater I believe that the Church allows either for an annulment if the person has always been a cheater and simply hid it from the spouse prior to the marriage, or in some cases if infidelity only became an issue once married, Divorce could be granted on the grounds of infidelity (although this is very rare) This, abuse, and someone abandoning the marriage are the rare circumstances divorce is granted in the Catholic Church , but all else has to be tried first.