The OP said that “SHE told him that he is not her father anymore”. She was tired of all of his bs and told him that they are done. Not the other way around. All the power to her 👏🏻
I love how the mom think they can just threaten the kid to get better, it's like saying "Stop crying or I'll give you reason to cry" and expect them to just stop their tear ducts.
yeah exactly?! fucking hate that shit, what do they expect. although… it did kind of “””work””” in my case. I was in environments where I was p much surrounded by that kind of rhetoric for years, day in day out, and now I struggle to cry normally. either I drop at most 3 tears if I’m lucky or I feel crying coming on and the ingrained response where I immediately start stifling the tears pops up 💀 (I learned multiple techniques in my own over those years of this shit) so essentially I’ve been fucked over so bad my tear ducts did stop, but not really intentionally.
When i was 24, my mother celebrated the miscarriage of my child because the child's mother is a bit plus-sized but when my sister got pregnant at 16 she reacted with joy. Guess who doesn't talk to his mother anymore...
She doesnt deserve to know her grandkids and your kids dont deserve to be around peeps like her, so good on you! And neither do you, nor you lady. She sounds like shes mentally exhausting to be around, you know, soul vampire. Run free, run far and be happy!
depends, one can be strict in a consequent and respectful way, without compleatly overdoing it and provide just as much reliable support as guidance. the supposedly strict parents you are talking about are abusive parents . . . big difference! so much abuse gets excused with "just being strict"!
I've noticed that the good parents are generally the ones stressing out and doubting if they're doing a good job but from an outside perspective they are amazing, the parents that brag, especially about they're kids fearing them, is a big red flag.
Reminds me of how my mom always goes, 'Children are supposed to fear their parents! You can't just do this to your mother!' I am so looking forward to escaping from that house.
@@HazelHong-t6eI know your comment is old but I hope you‘re okay and you have the opportunity to leave that household soon. Stay strong! I‘m rooting for you!
My favorite thing to do to transphobes is correct their “spelling” “Oops you forgot the s on she, not that im your english teacher, just dont want you to feel embarassed for being incorrect when youre well aware that shes a girl 😊”
I don't wanna be that guy, but 600 likes? Holy shit that's the highest number of likes ever on any comment I've ever made. Glad it was for a joke tbh. Thanks for likes!
Fun animal fact: The Australian Western Pygmy Possum is actually one of the largest pygmy possums in the world, despite being no larger than a typical kiwi fruit and is very adorable!
As my therapist says: "you deserve the respect and decency from your parents. If they don't give you that, they don't deserve to be called your parents"
l u c k y - i’m not even in therapy yet, and even then i’m not aloud to talk about “family” issues there- 💀 on a better note, hope y’all’s days are going better
For me. I have a physiatrist instead of a therapist. But still my parents sit in on my appointments. I mean. It’s good that we found out I’m autistic. But that’s about it. No comfort for *anything.* My parents always say I’m fine. I’m touch starved to the point where I’m extremely cold. I absolutely despise myself. And I was extremely close to doing something to myself. And even now I think that nothing will change until I’m out of the house. I’m a gay trans female with anti LGBTQ parents.
I broke my foot as a one year old and my parents only found out a week later. I wasn’t walking yet so they didn’t notice at first. They both still talk about how bad they felt and I’m 39 now 😂 that’s a more normal reaction than going “oh well”.
My sister broke her arm trying to prove some boys wrong about how "girls can't be strong". She refused to let my mom take her to the hospital because she was scared she would have to get a cast and never get to do gymnastics again. Her mentality was "if I don't know it's broken, then it's not broken". My mom agreed, because she wasn't in any obvious pain. But two days later, when her arm continued to be red and swell, she took her to the hospital for an x-ray.
Around 10th grade, I was at school & not feeling well. Sent to nurse, nurse says I have a fever, sends me home. My father comes home about 30 minutes later & finds me in bed. He takes me back to school, kicks me out of the car, tells me not to ever come home sick again. Thankfully my English teacher had no problem with me passing out in the back of her class on the few occasions I needed it 🤣 Oh and that reminds me of the time I had some kind of allergic reaction and my eyes swelled shut. Slightly terrifying, so I asked to go to the hospital. My father asks me _what did you put in your eyes??_ - um, nothing I have no idea what's going on here, can we go to the hospital? Nope, beating instead. For "lying". But the swelling went down a day or two later & never recurred, so I got that going for me, which is nice.
When I was young I accidentally slammed my thumb in my dads car door. We didn’t even know it was fractured till the next day but it was kinda more my fault than his. Sure I had the normal reaction at first. I cried for about 30 minutes. Then was the unusual part. You’d think a 5 year old who had just fractured his thumb would have cried for more than 30 minutes. You’d also think there’d be no way in hell he could move it while claiming not to experience much pain later that night. So I don’t fault my dad for his disbelief at first. I didn’t even know it was fractured. I seemed alright and when my dad took me to the doctor the next day just to be sure that’s when we found out. I honestly in hindsight feel bad because I felt like I should be experiencing more pain for a literal fracture, but you live and learn ig
“Respect” is their code word for “fear me”. They become parents bc they think it legitimizes them being an authority figure over their kids. They just care about power. Too many flashbacks of my own upbringing.
Remind me of what my grandma said to her kids: Whether out of love or fear, you will respect me. If my dad didnt convince my mom we "needed our grandparents" she wouldve gone no contact
I said it before and I say it again, I am so happy that children are now able to record abusive behavior with their phones. When I was a kid, there was no cam, even recordings with some voice recorder was not easy to get and expensive. Thanks god this kind of technology is available for regular people now.
I pity those kids that might be going through situations like I had, right now. Even though phones are so common, now, there are bound to be abusive parents out there like the ones I had that make 150% sure their kid has no means of contacting anyone outside the household, whatsoever. No computer, no internet, no cell, no landline, attempts to sabotage any seeds of friendships, using mind games to make it so adults at school will even think everything out of the kid's mouth is a lie, aaand not even anywhere to runaway to, as they love to live miles away from other houses - let alone towns. Even the abundance of phones in the lives of the majority won't help those kids.
@@crystallinethunder in some places the abuse can be streamed life to public and the parents may face no consequences. I'm Polish and there was an incident with a patostreamer (patological streamer, usually it means getting as drunk as possible in front of the camera for money). For days, maybe even weeks or months a family of 5 streamed their lives inside their home 24/7. For a very long time it showed the bad condition the 3 children had to live in, the dad was getting drunk all the time and was verbally and physically violent towards the children, especially the oldest 7 year old boy. The mom didn't do anything and turned a blind eye whenever the dad was yelling for no reason or threatening to kill the child. One day the dad got maybe too drunk or just too blind with rage and almost killed the boy by strangling. The mom reacted only when the child started desperately gasping for air and stopped screaming for help (possibly because he was close to passing out). It was all streamed live. Only then child services reacted (they have been notified by that family before multiple times) and luckily the children were given to a foster family. Even recordings won't be enough in a broken system that ignores children's wellbeing
@@billcipher8645 Prime example of how bad it really is. To think that even the tech available doesn't improve a kid's chances much more than being in a situation like what I grew up in. It's sad and desperately needs fixed.
Somewhere I still have a few 90-minute tapes where I recorded some of my mother's tantrums berating me for hours pretty much every day. I recorded them with a Walkman. It didn't help.
I appreciate the timing of this video; today, after 30 odd years of being in an abusive family relationship, I finally had the courage to say "no more" and walk away. I would never have even thought that was an option if it wasn't for your videos showing me that what my family does is not normal. Thank you, Click, for being a supportive and kind person. Your videos changed my life.
Congratulations. I'm proud of you for walking away and prioritizing your well being. There may be moments where you feel guilt or doubt for walking away, but your happiness and safety are more important and you deserve respect and dignity. Good luck and know that you're strong.
Reminder to people with insane parents: you are valid, your time spent tolerating their nonsense will not last forever, and going no-contact with an abuser is a genuinely good choice even if they badger you to do otherwise. If you're in a bad spot now, trust me, things will get better... Keep going and live your best life for yourself, or at the very least, _to spite insane parents._
The part where you were talking about people being overly protective of their property really hit home for me. I have a narcissistic older sister who always took and used my stuff and when I called her out for it, she'd beat me up. My mom does the same thing, using my stuff without asking first, thanks me afterwards, then justifies her actions by saying, "you weren't using it so why are you getting mad?" Now, I have the whole issue of aggressive possession, where I don't like sharing at all even as an adult. Plus, I now have the additude of "you touch my shit, you lose a hand." Not proud of it but that's what I grew up dealing with. Can't wait to move away from my family.
Relatable. I get really attached to stuff and can become a bit spiteful when it is taken without my knowledge of it. And by spiteful I mean corvid spiteful
I grew up in foster care, so I wasn't able to see my Mom often. On my 8th birthday, she had bought me a calico cat stuffed animal. I named her Patches, and she was my most cherished possession *ever,* my comfort item. And by the time I was 14, my Aunt had threw her frikkin away. I am 28 now and the memory still brings me immense rage to the point I see red, even when it happens to other people. I'll NEVER forgive my Aunt and she can have fun with me not going to her funeral. 😡🤬😤 I don't let ANYONE I don't trust touch my stuff without my permission, and I don't trust a lot of people. Even just people helping me to move is anxiety inducing. *Don't touch my frikkin stuff.* 🤬😡
Every time there’s a story on this subreddit where a parent just throws away everything instead of having their kid clean up, I’m realize growing up like that played a huge role in why I consider my things (and by extension myself) worthless and easily replaceable. It took over a decade for me to start healing from that. I’m not over it yet, but getting there. Anyways good vid Cliccy
You cant be replaced, youre one of a kind and no one else could ever be you. People love you for you, so make it count. This thought helped me thru some dark times, hope it can help you now, I think Ill leave it with you :)
It's always so sobering to hear someone talk about how these crazy parent behaviors affected them long after the events. Thank you for sharing, and, quite frankly, spreading awareness. I assume most people who watch the channel are of a similar mindset, but I think it's important to hear about the consequences from people who experienced it.
I think I have the opposite effect. since my mother equated taking my favorite things to punishing me directly, I subconsciously consider literally everything I own AS an extension of myself. I find it painful to get rid of things and have seriously almost fought people because I freak out when anyone touches my stuff.
Insane parent story. I was not the child. A cousin of mine, who was a first time mom, went to the playground with her 1 year old son. This was prior to the rise of mommy influencers, but that was her mentality. She was doing this for pictures and videos to show off. Most of the time, she handed the kid off to someone else to take care of (usually me). So, she took him all over the play structures, and at one point he 'starts fussing' (as she described it), and he wouldn't stop. She brings him home, puts him to bed, but he won't sleep. She calls up her parents, drops him off with them, and tells them he's just being a 'fussy little baby'. They spend all night with him. They admit that his 'fussing' is more like screaming, but they wait through the night thinking it's probably nothing. In the morning, they call their daughter (kid's mom) to pick him up, tell her that something is probably wrong, and she should book a doctor's appointment. She calls the doctor's office. What luck, there's an opening that afternoon! She takes him in. He's lost his voice, he's barely slept, he's pale. The receptionist tells her to GET HIM TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM. They find that he has a spiral fracture in his leg. She's confused about how this could have happened. When time comes for her to show off her 'mommy times', the mystery is solved. At one point, she has him going down a slide largely unassisted. You can see the heel of his little sneakers dragging against the metal of the slide, the repetitive rotation and 'jump' of his leg. You can see the moment he starts screaming his head off. This infant child spent nearly 24 hours with an untreated broken leg. I'm honestly surprised he didn't die of shock. This was the second time she seriously disregarded his physical wellbeing. It would not be her last. And of course, she had two more kids after this. She should've had her rights to parenthood taken away.
Is on this moments when people think abortion is a good idea to avoid a life of abuse for the child?? I mean people is always saying " the " baby" deserves a good life..." But what good life are they talking about if the child is getting abused until they are old enough to get out??
My dad has complained about doing the bare minimum as a parent before for me (multiple times.). It's not even like I wasn't planned and they didn't choose to have me... They adopted me 🥲. They literally chose to take me in. They chose to take care of me.
I’m adopted too! My mom loves to bring up the fact that nobody else would’ve adopted me as a child and would have grown up “loveless” and because of that I owe her the world. I blocked her for good last month after trying to get her to care about me for years. Never felt better blocking the toxicity and hatred.
I never understood this. If you don't like kids, why are you adopting them?? You literally have to go through hoops (at least in my country) to be even CONSIDERED as a candidate for adoption. It's an extremely long process. It's also expensive. Why knowingly go through all that, only to complain later? As you said, it's not like an unplanned pregnancy, where you're suddenly scrambling to get everything together. This is a conscious choice. You're literally taking in a child who may or may not have trauma and needs unconditional love. If you know that you're unable to give that love, why are you adopting a child?
@@ZimVader-0017 Honestly a lot of it is people who have the mentality of "I rescued you from (traumatic situation) so you should be forever grateful for any crumbs of affection I give to you" when that's just not how people and especially children operate
@@ZimVader-0017 They ended up with a child with anxiety, depression, potential ADHD and/or Autism (Getting referred for both.) who is pansexual and goes by any pronouns who has trauma and is a therian, furry and system. They definitely did not realise the amount of mental issues I had when they adopted me 😅. The sad truth is, they were going to adopt a boy before me, but he had too many mental issues for them to effectively cater to but then they ended with me 🙃 Edit: I had to literally argue with my mum to get referred for the ADHD and Autism. Also I mentioned I wanted to change my name because my name just doesn't sit right when I hear it said and she said "Oh please don't, it's such a lovely name and it's what everyone knows you as. Please don't." In a way you would talk to a five year old to coerce them to do something. If I even mention any mental illness that is not depression or anxiety she just says it's "Just a label." Or "You sure it isn't just *insert other thing which isn't even like the original thing*." She has been doing a slight bit better but I think it's only because I mentioned I was having negative thoughts to my doctor.
Fun fact: Any child who is younger than gen z right now is, in fact, alpha. That is the generational name. So a baby boy would be an alpha male. That's all there is to it, and it's not a justification for putting a child in danger.
I guess the next generation will be "betas" then. I don't envy having to deal with the "jokes" they'll be subjected to. Then again, maybe it'll dispel that stupid alpha/beta myth. It *still* amazes me that it originated from a faulty study of wolf behavior...
and soon it's going to be generation beta in 2024 or it's 2026. this was the reason I clicked on this video. I'm always surprised when people call 12 year olds or 10 year olds Gen Z. because they are Gen Alpha, it does make sense though for those without kids or planning to have kids to not know this though so I can see why
Nobody asked to be born, and for most people being born into this world is basically a curse. The idea that anyone owes their parents anything throughout childhood is abusive and insane.
Addendum; Life can get better as an adult. It's not guaranteed, but it's worth it to try, even if you had shitty parents. If I can make things even marginally better for myself, anyone can. 👍
Yeah, based on soap-making vids cinnamon can cause pretty major irritation of sensitive skin areas, so putting it regularly in contact with mucus membranes sounds not okay, esp. if child's already prone to nasal & bronchial irritations?
"Why should I owe my kids anything?" You owe them for forcibly bringing them into this world without consent, and then keeping them. It is literally your responsibility to do everything possible to provide a healthy, safe, and nurturing (mentally, physically, and emotionally) environment for them to grow and learn. It is also not your job to dictate every aspect of their lives and themselves, as they are a sentient creature with independent thoughts and feelings and interests. Why is this so hard for some people to understand????
I watch these and I feel so much better about my abilities as a mother. Whenever I start to doubt myself my son tells me to watch insane parents videos and it helps me realize I'm not perfect but I'm not nucking futs! Edit: I had insane parents so I doubt my own parenting. The Click's videos make me realize I'm not following down that same path when the self doubt creeps in.
@@paolaadames8028 ❤️ thanks. He's 16, speaks to me openly about pretty much anything, does fairly well in school and has a good group of friends who somehow think I'm cool. Yet there's always doubt.
Yes, mom-guilt can make you feel horrible, even if you are a fantastic mother. But the fact that you feel it, is a sign you really care about your kiddo. Nobody is perfect, but as long as the kids are happy, stay mentally/physically healthy and have a good social life, we are doing good.
That you're even worried about it means you're already miles ahead of insane parents. Most insane parents think they're always right and their way of parenting is perfect and correct and they wouldn't doubt themselves or think they might be at fault
@@BlueSodaPop_ that was my parents. Well, that and so much more. I love these videos because I'm not alone, there are others out there with nut jobs as parental units. I can cringe and laugh and feel better about how I'm raising my son.
As someone who grew up in a home ruled by my narcissistic dad, even though I am 12 years through therapy, it is very comforting and validating to hear Click react to abusive parenting practices the way he does.
It's important to remember that a regular check-up to see if something is wrong can easily end up costing hundreds of dollars MINIMUM in the US. There are a lot of times that we think something is wrong, and still don't go because we 'can't afford it'. Probably the biggest reason that our lifespans are so much shorter than they should be. Still, if it's your kid, you should take them to the doctor. But I can understand why some people are hesitant.
It's very easy for us Scandinavians who only pay a small fee to see the doctor, or even for big examinations and xrays, to forget the expenses that US citizens have to endure. Here it's "better with 100 examinations that turn out to be nothing" than that 1 missed one. Still, the way this guy wrote about it it doesnt sound like expense was the reason for not going😕
Yeah, that's the one thing I was thinking that might excuse that sort of thing, somewhat. Obviously you should do everything you can to make sure your children are healthy... but living in the US can make that difficult to do while still being able to provide them the necessities needed to... be healthy. It's incredibly fucked up, taking your kid to the doctor can actually be *worse* for them than not doing it. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness... but only for the people who can afford them.
Yeah, as a Scandinavian I always remind myself of that. For a lot of people, that check-up will take money out of the food budget, or means you can't afford rent that month. And then you fall behind, and things snowball. I called an ambulance when my dad had a dizzy spell when working in the garden. They assured me I did the right thing, they took him in to see the doctor, and it looked okay. To be safe they drove the one hour drive to the hospital. Turned out to be nothing. But would I have called if I was American? Or would I have gotten into my car to drive him to the doctor myself, and then the hospital if need be? Pretty sure I would drive, considering ambulance costs. Then the medical personnel would have gotten to him later, and my dad would have had to travel all that way without constant supervision, which could have killed him if there had been something wrong. It's scary to think about the fact that people have to make those decisions in a country that can afford the same healthcare system we have.
Fr fr theres been so many times that I’d had something wrong with me and didn’t go cuz it was too expensive I was partially deaf in one of my ears for like six months and only went cuz it started to hurt badly and then my kneecap dislocated wo reason (i was legit taking a nap shifted maybe three inches and boom) and I was super anxious to go to the doctor cuz what if it happened again?????!? And my parents said it would be way too fucking expensive so they got me a knee brace at Walgreens and called it a day. My uni just recently got a free student health clinic and I’m ecstatic to actually get healthcare without worrying about break the bank
@@Manthab Some unis have that? That's amazing! Maybe that will help push through a proper healthcare reform, if university "kids" learn how precious that peace of mind is. The effect it adds to a person's quality of life, both mentally and physically, is enormous.
The spice dad's attempts at keeping his daughters safe by strengthening their immune systems with spices was frickin' wholesome compared to most of the stories in Click's videos. It's nice to hear about parents who care about their kids and whose craziness isn't destructive.
I mean in the dad's defense: Garlic IS really good for immune support, and ginger is good for Nausea (and I've used lemon ginger tea to ground during really bad anxiety attacks.) He's trying in his own way... maybe just not with Cinnamon like Click thinks. 😂😂
@JWildberry I mean it's like the parents who go holistic (everything natural, everything organic) after having kids, in theory they're trying to do right by their kids and give them better lives than they had, but some just go crazy with it. It's when you go too far and ignore things like DOCTORS that we start calling you crazy.
As a grandmother I am seriously depressed by the thought of the world that my generation (and the ones that came bofore and after) have done to the world that they will inherit as they grow from childhood to adulthood.
Try not to worry. One good thing is going to talk to a professional counselor is actually seen as a good thing and helpful. This helps balance things out a bit. Also seeing most of the the generations in my area most are good people and doing their best.
I love that "Respect your parents" argument, my mom pulled that on me one too many times and got responded with "You have to give a little to get a little". Needless to say, I got grounded and my ass whooped for disrespecting her authority as if she's some mighty overlord dictator. Kind of funny when she'd have child like meltdowns when you question her warped reality. Of course, it did involve her throwing things, cussing, screaming and other insane things but it was funny regardless
My mother exhibits so many of these toxic behaviours which is why I've been NC/LC for 4 years and I've legit never been happier. I have a wonderful partner, two kitty daughters, a fantastic friend circle and my life is exactly what she swore it would never be if I cut her off. Love you, Click, and all of this wonderful fandom 💖
My parents thought I had an abscess tooth the day after Halloween, probably from too much candy, so they took me to the dentist just to be safe. The dentist told them to get me to the ER, turns out I'd had a nasty staph infection in my jaw. I'll take parents being overly cautious with medical issues over negligence anyway. ETA: don't worry, to balance things out, they ignored my ADHD and potential autism writing it off as me just being "weird" and "not a math kind of kid" until I was an adult
I mean - not recognizing ADHD and autism is bad but ... I don't know your gender, but for example girls are severely under diagnosed even by therapists and parents ... sometimes just aren't able to recognize it. Since ADHD and Autism are very stereotypically portrayed in media. That is why - Whenever I talk to teachers and have the chance, I ask them about searching up signs for autism and ADHD since teachers at least have some training in working with kids. More than parents. So they would be able to see the signs easier when a kid is ''weird''
@@KaliqueClawthorne especially when you consider that the first person to be diagnosed with autism is still alive. There’s just very little we know about the disorder, especially since most of the research is based off of amab people.
I really hope you can get diagnosed. Just knowing can help so much. I have both High Funtioning Autism and ADHD, and knowing that can be so helpful in just understanding yourself. I hope everything works out for you.
@@cztianaki2689 Man I always forget my autism is considered a disorder. In a lot of the circles I’m in it’s not really referred to like that so it’s always funny coming across comments like this. Gives me a bit of whiplash.
19:05 Click makes a really good point here. From the age of 6-12 years old, I had a step-father named Dustin. I was the scape goat while my older sister was the favorite, so I got punished for a lot of little things. One of his favorite punishments was to force me to clean an area of the house in a limited amount of time or else he would take away everything except for my clothes, shoes, bed, and blankets. I was a 10 year old with combined hyperactive and inattentive ADHD and Autism. As you can imagine, I very rarely was able to clean the house in the given time frame and ended up with a barren room from the age of 10 to 12. I developed severe paranoia around my belongings and I am a huge Maladaptive Day-dreamer. I have an almost 4 year old nephew whose mother has been threatening to take his toys away. She says that she wouldn't actually do that because she knows what it's like to have nothing (when Dustin was still in our lives, her room was so full, you couldn't open the door or see the floor. My room was so empty it echoed.)
I still find it kinda messed to even just threaten him with it, considering she knows first-hand what it does to someone. Why not go with "if you don't clean up, you'll not get any _more_ stuff" instead? It gets the point across that you can only get new stuff if there's space to put it (which is a pretty good mindset regardless of age), without making the kid fear for their toys.
@@rolfs2165 I tried to talk to her about but she got mad and told me I had no idea what I was talking about because I'm not a parent. I may not be a parent but I was a child with an extremely emotionally abusive parental figure and I know first hand what that can do to a person later in life. My biggest fear is that he's so young and if she keeps making threats like this while he's still developing, it could affect him even worse than it affected me. I was about 10 when my stuff started getting taken away and I developed some severe paranoia and anxiety around my property. My nephew is almost 4, way younger than I was, meaning he's still in the early stages of social development. I'm worried about how he'll develop socially considering he also shows signs of autism and ADHD, which is already a disadvantage for him. Unfortunately, I know she won't listen to me because I'm younger and not a parent. Also, having my stuff taken away so often ingrained in me the belief that I don't own anything and everything I have isn't actually mine, meaning I don't deserve it. I don't want him growing with that same mentality.
@@luniewhipple3513 I want to add that most psychologists on say that punishing a child with adhd is near impossible especially if the parent doesn’t take into account that they have adhd or the child isn’t diagnosed. The best way to even attempt to punish a child is to have them loon you in the eyes you tell them what they did wrong have them truly acknowledge it and then give the punishment and why you are doing it. Things like negative punishment (punishment that takes something away for those not in the know with the terms) tend to particularly not work. All of this is because of how the brain works with adhd, its constantly seeking dopamine so tends to go fast, meaning it’s harder to catch a child in the time frame punishment actually works, near immediately to the act. If the child isn’t actively actually taking In why they are being punished the point is null and the punishment doesn’t work. Generally doing this with neurotypical kids helps anyway so it really should be the go to. Another point is most adhd behavior is seen as something that deservers punishment especially around where I live, so punishment for something a child can’t control harms the child mentally and also make punishments less likely to work. This applies to ANYONE in the child’s life so teaching a child with adhd to watch their teacher for punishing adhd behavior is extremely important. Overall you want to use reinforcement at least equally or more then punishment. Reinforcement is overall better then constant punishment even if the punishments aren’t severe. If you have to punish, generally only is they’ve caused some sort of pain, it’s best to talk through with them why they are being punished for it before hand.
This was a common punishment when I was a kid too. We would be grounded for days at a time which meant you had to sit on your bed and do nothing. Not even nap. Obviously as kids we couldn't last that long without getting up so, to get rid of distractions, my dad took everything out of my room except for my bed and dresser. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and I often wonder if I had it back then too and how things could've been different if it had been treated.
That woman would probably be thrilled that I legitimately fantasized KILLING my stepfather starting at the age of 10 just to get away from what he did. He's dead now (not murdered), and I celebrated that fact. Like great job, all right! Really great job...
I think the weird logic about parents not owing their kids anything (or that kids owe their parents something) is probably because of the assumption that having kids is mandatory--like an obligation. It makes sense that someone who thinks they had kids in order to fulfil this assumed obligation would feel entitled to _something_ from their kids--after all, they held up their end of the bargain when they conceived.
That's an interesting idea, I'd never thought of it that way. I wonder if that ties into some of the reasons child-free adults get so much hate. "I had to suffer through raising children, it's not fair that you don't suffer as well!"
@@PenguinLord10 Oh absolutely. Misery loves company. A good number of the mean ones didn't realize or even have the option to not have kids (depending on age and upbringing), and often times are resentful and jealous seeing that their lives could have been way different. They take it out on childfree people a lot. That's how you get tired parents covered in mess and screaming children telling others actively how it's different when it's your kids and how much you will love having kids. How it's so selfish to spend money on yourself (especially "wasting money" on nice little things, quality of life improvements, etc, let alone vacations or a nice vehicle or home...) instead of raising the next generation. How greedy cf people are entitled jerks and what's wrong with the world these days... All that tiring nonsense. I have compassion for anyone who had kids before they were able to realize they had the option not to. I'm in my 30s and grew up in a fundamentalist group where unmarried women and married couples without children were simply pitied for the tests god was putting them through. I didn't realize I actually truly had an option not to have kids AT ALL until I was married and "when do we know the right time to have kids?" was in discussion and I realized I didn't ever want to start. I liked my life as-is. That said, the blame for that goes on my upbringing. Not on childfree people. I was lucky enough to become cf in time. I feel bad for those who didn't, and also they need to direct their anger at the true source of their pain. It's society they grew up in, not cf folks.
@@clocksideOne day, I wrote a random comment (under a video about asexuality) that I was still single and had no children. I recieved very rude replies that I didn't expected... When I could do what I want mirh my butt, guys told be: "you do nothing with your butt!" and explained me that I just had to make a guy happy cripping with him and having children (yes both parts were importants: sex AND children)😤.
I had zero problems with my mom going into my room and cleaning it up if she wanted and she never threw anything away. One day I came home from college and learned that I’d left a notebook on the floor and she noticed I’d written something that had the name of a guy she’d heard me talk about, so she decided to read it. It was basically a little diary entry but it got VERY personal. Not only did she read it, she showed it to my dad. I was TWENTY and was starting to be intimate with someone that had similar… “interests” as me. My mom (and my poor dad) never needed to know those things, and over ten years later she refuses to apologize and I’m extremely over-protective of anyone coming into certain rooms. She’s also confused as to why I don’t let her into my room at my house. 🙃
Remember a story where as punishment for whatever, most of daughters clothes were taken. What they left behind sounds like basic goth. Her clothes were stuffed in trash bags and put in the attic. She was supposed to "earn" them back. Backfired. She liked not having to keep up with trends and worrying about what to wear. Parents were mad she didn't care about getting her clothes back. Her crime? She was caught smoking under the bleachers.
I am so glad that my parents were no where near like this. The closest thing is that, until I was about 10, my mother tried so hard to make me a priest.
@@Loaves_of_Cat She wanted one of her kids to be a priest, and I was her fourth. So she really tried, now I am agnostic and will probably give a beer to the devil when I see him. Heck, she use to take me to abortion protests and treat me to waffle house. I didn't remember much about the protests but I liked getting an all star.
Yeah when I was a child I was always “not paying attention to where I walk” and had “bad spatial awareness”. Lost some vision when I was an adult and learnt I had likely been legally blind or not far off it my whole life. It gets much better when I learnt my parents had been told this when I was around 18. They did take me to a vision therapist because I had depth perception issues. That therapist, who never once gave me a visual field test-gave me permission to get my learners permit. And yes I did get into a crash and almost a second one.
With parents not taking their kid to a doctor, I can relate. Thanks to my parents not taking me seriously when I was always exhausted and fainting as a teenager, I only recently went to a doctor about it, and discovered that I have a chronic illness. One trip to the doctor and we got a diagnosis. Unfortunately, it was a few years too late to actually fix up the problem, so now I have a lifetime of managing symptoms. I remember getting so mad at my parents for not taking me seriously, and my fiance and I have discussed that if we ever have kids, we're going to be majorly holding each other responsible for trusting when our kid says they're sick, even if it doesn't seem that bad. Never know when it's cancer, appendicitis, diabetes, or anything else. Parents out there, I know it can be hard, but trust your kids.
As someone with insane parents this is definitely my second favorite series of his. It is sad to hear these stories and I wish all these guys the best, but it is nice to know I'm not alone. :)
i hope you find a real family that loves you and appreciates all the good things about you. i also hope your "parents" always have to pee at the worst times and can't take it out on anyone.
The throwing away of stuff when you don't clean up was also my mom's favorite. In some fairness to my mom who I'm still very close with... she gave us a week in warning to clean up. She also would start in the family rooms, slowly going one room at a time gathering everything into a pile and once again warning to come and pick up our stuff or it would be tossed. Until she would finally get started on the bedrooms (and making sure to start away from things she knew were our favorite things, once again giving plenty of time. And sometimes putting away anything she knew was special to us.) I mean we're talking we had a week warning in advance with daily reminders to get things cleaned up, then 3 hours or more still in final countdown to get our stuff.... we were pretty stubborn kids IMO. So it took me a bit to figure out why this was an insane parents thing till realizing oh wait... they're just like you didn't clean your room before leaving the house, no you are where you cannot physically do anything about it and they're tossing your stuff?! Okay that is insane 😅.
What your mom did actually sounds reasonable. You had plenty of time so if you lost anything it was ultimately your decision. The ones we see in insaneparents just like bullying
That one was kinda stupid anyway. What does that person think who is going to have to shell out to replace all that stuff? Especially since they apparently went and took out *everything* including stuff they'd need for school.
This is one of those "everything is a spectrum" things, and your mom was on the reasonable end. Mine played "trash or treasure" where she'd hold up the thing and you had to either find a place for it or she'd throw it out. It was stressful and it was definitely a threat of "put this away or I'm throwing it out right now". But it's not like she ever tossed anything we needed, and she gave us a chance to save things.
I feel for the person who suffered from the broken ankle and their mom just didn't care. I was jumped by my classmates in middle school because they had decided I was a lesbian (I'm not) and they kicked me in the head so it bounced off the curb. I was weaving while I walked and had a huge lump on the back of my head. The school called my mom, but wouldn't come or take me to the doctor, so the school just ignored it. I was weaving while I walked and just wanted to sleep all the time for months. My mom accused me of just not wanting to go to school because she had convinced herself I was lying about the whole thing to begin with. Why would anybody think HER child was a lesbian anyway? How silly! Now I am 45 years old and I have to use a wheelchair and a walker because I have White Matter Disease in my frontal lobe from the brain trauma of being gay bashed and forced to act normally due to my birther's bad-faith justifications. I'm positive if my birther were still alive and I told her about it, she'd just be saying "parents make mistakes sometimes! 🤷♂" and "OK" too. My solidarity for everyone who has had to deal with a narcissistic parent.
That's absolutely horrible! I wish it were possible to sue the people who _assaulted you_ back when you were kids. Because it doesn't matter that they were kids … _they committed assault_ and _caused brain damage_ on their victim! And _they_ should be held at least financially-responsible for messing up another person's life. Those are people I wish the most horrible fates on.
What in the actual HELL?? That’s both devastating and terrifying. That should be grounds to sue _somebody._ Since you can’t sue your mom, arguably the people at the school. How old were you? After 13, that should go onto a permanent record as assault. I was told that the only reason I didn’t have assault on my record was because I wasn’t 13 after *grabbing a boy by the wrist.* Actual brain damage should _absolutely_ count as assault. If they weren’t old enough, then the school should be held responsible for letting that happen.
@@-alovelygaycat- Never underestimate how willing adults are to sacrifice children for their own convenience. I was 12 and this happened in 1989. The idea of calling the cops on a bunch of middle schoolers for assault was considered an absurd idea. They said "Kids have fights sometimes, so just walk it off" And I should take more time time to look like a little lady if I didn't want the other kids to think I was a lesbo. ...Yeah, I know that doesn't make sense. LGBT+ were dying regularly at the time. Nobody cared. If you were openly gay, you died. Boomers were always Boomers, and they were HORRIBLE parents.
@@John_Weiss I did look them up recently. The main one that started it and kicked me in the head is currently in prison for SA'ing an 8-year-old in his family. Another is a single mom of three raising two of her grandkids while working as a cashier in a grocery store. The last one became a cop. 😑
@@widowkeeper4739 I hope the cop gets busted for letting/participating in the killing of Yet Another African-American man. Not that I want to see Yet Another African-American man killed by a cop. But we all know it's going to happen. 😠 So why not that piece of sh1te being the one to go down for doing it? As for the other two, karma's a b1tch. (I don't know if you want to, or if it would be safe to, but the cop … maybe you could find _someone_ to slip a message to about him beating you and causing lifelong brain damage, and ask that he be looked into for police brutality. Because a shart like that almost certainly has done so.)
Well yeah, it's literally the Dunning Kruger Effect in action. The less people know (about parenting) the more they believe to know. The more people know, the more they understand how much they don't know.
Today I was talking with my mom about this, the best Dad's are the ones that think they will never provide enough for their children... My mom told me about her neighbor that has 3 boys, she as well has germophobia to the point she can spend an stire week eating incredible bad thinking " this is not clean enough for my children" at the end she fainted because there was nothing for her body to work with, she's a good mother, she just prioritized cleaning over her health
Today I was talking with my mom about this, the best Dad's are the ones that think they will never provide enough for their children... My mom told me about her neighbor that has 3 boys, she as well has germophobia to the point she can spend an stire week eating incredible bad thinking " this is not clean enough for my children" at the end she fainted because there was nothing for her body to work with, she's a good mother, she just prioritiz
Once as a child I complained to my mom that my eye hurt real bad. She kept telling me I was a hypochondriac and I was faking it for attention. I was crying so much it felt like I had like a rock in my eye. The next morning, I woke up with my eye swollen shut and super poofed, about the size of a baseball.
@Cotton Candy 🍭🍬 Nope, I went to school and the nurse sent me back home. I got in trouble and didn't go to the hospital until the following week for a scheduled appointment. The swelling had gone down alot by then. It was a stye that had gotten big and all my rubbing got it infected. They gave me gel that I put myself but since I was a kid doing it, I had a lumpy eye for a long time.
Whilst children _will_ lie about problems to get out of doing stuff, those lies are usually not very inventive (my tummy hurts), and not very consistent or thought-through. If a child keeps complaining about a very specific pain, in the exact same place, for more than an hour, they are probably not lying.
My parents refused to acknowledge that my foot was broken after a log fell on it when I was 15. 15 years later I had to have a neuroma removed from that foot because the bones healed wrong and a braided the nerve for all that time until it was so painful I could not walk on it. Thanks Mom and Dad. 48 years later and I’m still salty about it.
You should be! You should in fact _remain_ salty with them about it for the rest of their lives, if they're still alive. Five decades with a malfunctioning important body part, because of their neglect and stupidity - that deserves far more than just "being salty" with them.
Kidnapper: Kidnaps child and holds them for ransom, takes child's phone to send threatening message. Insane Parent: Sends abusive message to child, before he gets the chance. Kidnapper: "......." Kidnapper: Pays for child's therapy.
My sister-in-law is a nurse that works in mental health. She's an amazing mother to my niblings, and genuinely compationate person. Unfortunately, my parents are obsessed with the idea that my brother has distanced himself from them because his wife is somehow secretly controlling him. She's emotionally educating my brother. Our parents were not good parents. My brother devotes his time to his family because our parents spent every moment fighting. He never got to experience a nonabusive family life. I've recently started to try and convince my dad to start trusting her now that I've also started my own mental health journey. My dad is 70 and having a tough time understanding that his son is now 37. Bro just bought his second house in a new city, and is generally busy with 2 kiddos schedules juggled between full-time Mom & Dad. Dad: Why does HER family get to be around them all the time? What about us? Me: Her family lives a 1hr drive away from him and the kids, we live a 4hr flight away... Dad: Well he still only calls when he's driving home, only gives me 15 minutes to talk. Me: Use that 15 minutes to figure out when you're both free for a longer chat. Dad: No.
I grew up with insane parents, so I can tell you, life does get better. My kids are now grown, and though I am a weird person they say I am a good mom, so hopefully that cycle of abuse and insanity is broken. Breaks my heart to think of kids suffering through parents like mine or worse.
Honestly, these people are looking for power trips. They get high on being in control of another person and get angry when they don’t have control anymore. A manipulator usually does anything to remain in control for as long as possible. People with these parents, don’t be afraid to get help or speak out ❤️
As a survivor of a narcissistic parent, I'm just really glad that this subreddit exists, because it can really help people understand their own abusive situation. I know that from an outside perspective, these parents seem very extreme in their abusive behaviour - and they are - but when you're a child who has always been treated that way, you're sort of "used to it", so you can't see the situation very clearly. I left as soon as I was 18, because I knew I was going to die in my parental house if I didn't escape, but at the same time, I didn't realise I was being abused. My father never hit me. So... why was I feeling so horrible? It was only when I was like 25 that I said out loud for the first time that I had been abused. I still find it hard to say, because I'm terrified that people will say that that was not "real" abuse. It's so insidious, because it's "just words", but it does a tremendous amount of damage still. I think that's why it's important that people who are in that situation get a chance to see someone else being abused that way and realise that it is really that bad. I thought that maybe there was something wrong with me for feeling so terrible, because I couldn't take a step back to look at the situation until years after I left it. I was scared that I was just being overdramatic for a long time. I don't wish that upon anyone else.
@@ninawth Psychological Abuse is _still abuse._ Your experiences are Valid. Your emotions are Valid. Your suffering is Valid and you Are Entitled to Heal.
I honestly don't know why so many parents just take away or even throw away their childrens stuff. As someone who has their phone taken away when we don't do something like clean our room or go showering it annoys me so much. Especially because it affects me extremely even after they stop actively doing it. We are now unable to leave any of our more loved things (like our comfort objects) anywhere close to someone or in a place someone could come into when we're gone, even if we're just gone for like a few minutes. It's terrible because we obviously can't take our stuff everywhere we go and get very anxious over it. At this point I can barely leave my thing with people I completely trust because of it.
This video got me thinking of my mom. Sad story. My mom, her husband and my grandmother kept saying I had attidude, kept asking basically what was wrong with me and why i counld't just listen to everything they say all the time (i was having serious mental issuse and they were noticing saying "just talk to me" when i couldnt even use words). I hated going home. Thankfully, my parents got divorced when I was young so I had my dad and step-mom to go to. Called him one night and he came to pick me up at like 10 pm, in complete tears. I spend time there for a litle longer then normal (switch off was every week). I had a session with my therapist and then was trying to go back to my moms. Get there at 6 and no one talks to me except my brother and mom (same mom, different dad, not her current husband). They had eaten without me so i was making my own food when my mom tells me i cant stay in the house unless i apologize for my actions. My dad was in a meeting but by 8 pm i was once again out of that house. Opened my x-mas presents when mom caught me packing. She told me "I think its what is best, I got closer to my mom when I moved out too." That time tho i wasnt in tears excepting that i no longer had a mom. I am 14 and this was a few months ago. I was robbed of my fucking childhood and a mother for so many reasons. For the past 4 months I have been fighting to see my 5 year old little brother. She always blames things on me. In january I was close to the house and almost had a panick attack. My brothers 5th birthday was in march and i for the first time went to go see him. She had him meet me outside because i wasnt allowed inside the house. Next month I am going to pick up some stuff. I always try to spend time with him but she forces me to have it inside the house (doing something not fun for me). It drives me mad. I seriously dont know what to do. I hate her so much. If you actually read this for thank you and reply if you have advice. Click videos make me smile and helps me relax at night. ❤❤❤
Dear Celina, I'm sorry this is happening to you, I can not understand your mother's actions, but they are wrong for sure. Maybe the best would be if you could talk to your dad about it and have him as an adult speak to her, you deserve to see your little brother. I wish you healing and love
I can't wrap my head around the fact that some parents actually see 'giving their cild food, clothing and a home' as a 'favour'. That is the child YOU CHOSE TO HAVE. They didn't want to be put in this world. You aren't a great parent just because you give them things that are basic needs!
I live with my sister, brother in law, and a roommate. My bro in law's mother threw away his things as a kid and now he has to fight major hoarding tendencies, to the point that he gets angry if we throw away something we own ourselves instead of offering to give it to him to add to his hoard. This kind of childhood can mess you up for life.
People who are able to get away from their abusive family member(s) are so brave. My step-grandfather and his kids are verbally abusive towards me and my dad verbally abused me until I was 17 and my therapist called him out. Their verbal abuse and judging attitude has caused my self worth to plummet and I now have a crippling phobia of being judged (aka really bad social anxiety). I want to cut contact with my step-grandfather and his kids but I’m scared about the backlash from my family.
It's incredibly hard, and I always question whether or not I'm doing the right thing. But there is so much to be gained from taking that step. I don't know your family, but generally the rule is that if people are going to back an abuser you don't need them in your life either. Those same people will belittle you themselves in similar situations if only given the opportunity. If they don't have your back in something as serious as this, then they never truly will about other things. And you don't deserve having to go through life fearing people who don't care about you, even if they are family. Think of it this way: if you had friends around you saying these things to you, would you keep them around? Why should family be any different? At the end of the day, family, friend, or stranger, they are still a singular person who treats others poorly. Yes, you will probably have backlash, but as soon as people take sides or don't care enough to bother you then know who you can actually trust within your family (or friends) with the small problems and the big ones. It's heartbreaking to find out who these people might be that you're close to, but when you do you can finally move on to only better people who will care about you. There are a couple simple steps to get you started. Moving is one of them, even if it's just to somewhere else in your town/city and don't give out your address. The relief of knowing no one you're scared of can find you is liberating. No one can show up at your door unexpectedly and threaten you if they don't know where you are. Blocking numbers is another (or changing it altogether but that takes work depending on where you live). Then you'll stop reading the hate sent your way and get some distance to clear your head. When no one is tearing you down day after day the difference is substantial. And you're not missing anything: you already know what these people think about you and what they're going to say. It's not a guess anymore. And third, connecting with the rest of the people you love in other ways. Unfortunately everyone you know is going to find out about your hard decisions if you decide to go ahead with it. Either your father and extended family abusers there are going to complain to everyone who has ears that they are totally not bad people, or they'll pretend nothing is wrong or different at all and you're have a get out of jail free card on the backlash. As for connecting with the people who still love you after finding out, it'll be as simple as "Will my father be there at this christmas gathering? Oh I'd prefer to avoid him, so I'll just visit you at x time instead to make sure to see you during the holidays". The people that have your back will understand, and are typically thankful for being out of the crossfire themselves given the option. Of course all of this might sound straightforward and I'm not going to pretend it's as simple as 1-2-3. But I do promise, just like Click says all the time, that it does get easier eventually. My parents bred into me that same phobia. It's horrible, soul crushing, terrifying, and any other word you can think of. Not that you don't already know of course. And that's why I can assure you that there is hope. There has been a lot of times over the last few years where I squeak out something embarrassing and receive a neutral response, and I follow it up going "wait a minute, this thing about me or this thing that I think doesn't bother you?" I don't think I can describe that feeling, but this is a hard root to tear out. It can be overcome and you can live as you truly wish you could without being paralyzed over what this thing might look like to someone else. If you do decide to do this, know that there is a big, invisible community of strangers who are behind you and wish you all the luck in the world.
I would say that you should slowly slowly eliminate contact with them. Slow enough that they don't clue in right away. Make excuses for why you can't take time off to see them, why you can't go for holidays, etc. This becomes a really good option once you have in-laws [and your in-laws are decent people], because then you have an excuse to use.
As an orange cat mom, I can confirm. Our dude went thru the front of closed drawer, like he brute forced the particle board to pieces, because his birdie toy “sleeps” in there and he wasnt having any of it. He also ate the birdie.. he chews my crocs, always just one of the pair. My last pair is hanging high on the coatrack, but now it looks like he has figured out how to climb there. He growls at thunder, like better back down now or catch these paws, same for delivery bots he sees outside. And Im pretty sure he tries to actively kill us by running at our feet when walking, or lying behind us when we stand. He doesnt get that we dont have cat-like reflexes or eyes in the back.. He understands the word no, he just dont care. Begging for people food he has honed into an art form, especially with my in-laws, they will give him anything he wants from the fridge or their plates whenever were there. Last Eastern he ran away/got lost, we went nuts looking for him, he just casually strolled back home week later, like no biggie, I took a lil holiday. Ive had many cats, but Onni, 2, is one of a kind. Definitely.
@@sylmaerie I will tell him that, it probably inflates his already humongous ego, but Ill tell. And heres couple more to brighten your day, I tried to think really good ones. He gets to go out at the in-laws, so he brought once a mouse, other was bird, only problem was that they were still very much alive. You know, starling is huge when it flies indoors and has two eager cats chasing it! Both creatures got back in the nature more or less intact, thanks to my father-in-law, I could just scream-laugh while trying to avoid the zig-zagging mess. He thinks he is much bigger than his body this 5kg/10pound cat went after golden retriever and ran him (and his human) onto the next street.. They dont walk past our place anymore, FIL just heard rumors. He also has war going on with the neighbor cats, he goes right in their yard and eggs them on.. while they have zero business in ours. Ive tried to explain to him that they are residents and he is just visiting, so be nice, but to no effect. Last xmas he got to our ham, he just casually gnawed this meat clump, that was bigger than him.. and growled at me when I went to put him back down to the floor! MIL put him back and took pictures, she thought it was the funniest crap ever. I was mortified. Sometimes he riles himself up so thoroughly chasing invisible things, he puffs up and stays that way, like minutes. Im an artist, my studio was sacred, cat-free space before him; now I cant close the door, he will try to open it and when he realizes he cant, he yells so long I give in. Not faint meowing, but frustrated yelling, like hes ordering me to open immediately. Once inside, he looks me straight in the eyes, while flicking stuff down from the table, as saying “What if I do… THIS! How do you like them apples, huh?”. I soon learned to wear apron, even if just doing a quick retouch; my fave jeans have now paint stains, because he dropped my palette on my lap, while I wasnt watching him. He also ate really expensive and dear watercolor brush, like completely, only the ferrule had some hairs in it. I cried. I was on important Zoom call, so he hopped behind me, like right behind my head, and started to lick his junk with gusto, I nearly died right there. Even the doctor whom I was speaking with couldnt completely hide his surprise and amusement. Squirrel got momentarily stuck in our balcony (outer wall is made of sliding glass windows, its always open just a little) and luckily got out before the mayhem melons got to it, but Onni searched for it over 6 hours, his sister gave in after two. He continued his search the next day too. He just couldnt accept defeat, he seemed sure the furry steak will appear, if he just looks hard enough.. Hes notorious food thief; look away for a second and your sandwich toppings are gone. And I swear he gloats, husband has started to notice it too, this dude is being victorious. He even took a croissant straight out of my mouth, while I was texting! He didnt eat it, he just saw an opportunity and ran with it. Since hes very territorial, he growls at anyone who gets too close to our windows, so he has growled at little kids, because why not.. Im sure I forgot something juicy, but this is pretty good description of his greatest hits. Only thing that bothers him are crowds and car rides, everything else hes ok with. My 90yo grandma has to get his latest quirks every week, his antics make her happy. He turns 3 in June, but he has stories of several lifetimes.. We love him too, but some days its just tiny bit harder than others.
This reminds me of when I was a teenager… it was a lot of separate issues that all compounded on each other, but this video touches on all the major ones that I experienced with my own mom; the homophobia/transphobia, the overly-controlling behavior, her obsessing over my grades, throwing away my stuff when she was mad at me, physical abuse, grounding me for existing in a way she didn’t like, the list just goes on and on. I started high school, my mom found out I was dating a girl and that I was non-binary, and all of a sudden nothing I did was ever correct. I was literally grounded for three years straight, the initial reason being that she didn’t want me to be able to talk to my girlfriend, and she was so excited when we broke up and I started dating a guy that she practically welcomed him to the family the first day we got together (I was still grounded until the day I went into foster care tho, because my grades tanked due to mental health issues that she refused to address and actively tried to make worse). And now she wonders why I only really talk to her on special occasions, and even then I keep it short and relatively surface-level.
We love parents (and people in general) who decide that they are the most important people and can do whatever they want with zero disregard for anyone else
my parents got divorced, neither of them wanted me so they sent me to live with my boyfriend at the age of 16 and then my dad burnt all of my stuff. now they are so confused why i live states away and don't talk to either.
I have a whole history of child abuse and neglect but I genuinely think the worst is when my mom would leave me, a three year old child, completely unattended. Sometimes she would have her apartment neighbors watch me and would be gone from home *for hours*. It got to the point where I was alone and I cracked my skull on the sharp edge of our coffee table and nearly bled to death and was only able to get medical attention because a stranger heard me sobbing. You can bet your butt I am going to tell her (when I actually feel strong enough that I can set emotional boundaries QvQ) that I don't owe her anything!
I’ve been falling into deeper and deeper depression since coming out and being denied my own fking identity, but something about this video made me feel seen and appreciated, tysm for this video, I really needed it ❤❤
I’m proud of you for making the decision to come out, remember that you still have a whole community out here for you with open arms! Biggest advice I have is, blood is thicker than water, the blood of the coven is thicker than the water of the womb aka the family you choose is stronger than the family you were born into. If you’re a minor who came out please stay safe I know from my own experience and my brothers how dangerous and scary it can be but you are so much stronger than you know! We believe in you!
The past few weeks I had found a lump, I’ve gone to get it checked out, blood tests, ultrasounds. And the first thing I worried about was overreacting; that people would think less of me if it turns out to be nothing. But it has been nonstop support because the scariest option is always possible.
I did that about a month ago. Ended up being nothing and I have a wicked scar to show for it, but I'm still glad I got it done. Here's hoping yours is nothing too.
19:03 when I was young and we didn't want to clean up our parents basicly threatened to do the same. Take all our stuff and throw it out. When we didn't clean up they packed everything up and looked it away for about a week. We were kids, it felt like forever, we learned the lesson and got all our toys back because our parents weren't monsters. Taking your kids toys away for some time is more than enough to drive the point home. Edit: Just to add, we knew our things weren't gone. It was made very clear to us that it was only temporarily locked away as a punishment and that we would get it back. Because communicating with your child actually works.
15:25 avoiding arrows coming from straight above? Does he expect to be attacked by fairies? The greek gods having an archery competition? Some guy with a drone and an auto-crossbow?
I feel bad for parents. My mom's idea to bag and put our toys in the trash (but never actually let it be taken) contributed to my lifetime issues with hoarding. She had no idea that would go so badly. She heard me tell this lately and was also upset. She apologized, and I accepted happily. Just acknowledging it was a bad idea really helped.
It just occurred to me that part of the reason I love The Click so much is that he's basically a cursed Mister Rogers. Thank you for always brightening my day, sir.
the stuff from 19:30 is why i have trust issues with ppl being in my house. My mom didn't stop with this when i was a kid either. As a disabled adult i've had her help me clean my house and she threw out my tank tops i wear to sleep in bc "they are to small and revealing" and every skirt i owned bc she thought they were to small for me and one was "ratty" it was literally a hippy skirt i wore for halloween. I never let her or anyone help me clean anymore bc of the fear someone will take my stuff or throw it out so my house is an eternal mess
I recall hearing a story from a friend of mine, where her Ex GF lived in a household with such restrictive rules and regulations enforced by the father. He held so much control over her to the point that she could not do anything without telling him, or even bring anyone to their house, with only very few acceptions. She was basically almost done high school at this point. It got to the point her mom had to cover for her when ever she went out sometimes. Given this guy is in military from what I'm told, it also makes it seem more dangerous to challenge him.
I wish everyone who is still stuck in these households freedom & healing. Nobody truly understands how difficult it is to recover from this unless they've lived it. Please remember that you are not inherently bad. You are not biologically wired to be a bad person. You are doing the best you can while being raised by people actively trying to sabotage you. That is an EXTREMELY difficult thing to do. Stay save & know you are loved, even if only by strangers watching you heal from afar.
I have an extra layer of “being a horrible person is not genetic.” Because I’m adopted by two anti LGBTQ people. The only difference between the two is that my dad actually accepts that Covid is apart of our lives and will happily get vaccinated.
4:11 if that man thinks the boots being a few centimeters away from the wall is messy then he would either have a seizure, hemorrhage, or heart attack, or pretend it to develop lung cancer if he saw my room
The story at 18:30 - I am currently surrounded by most of my stuff. I unfortunately landed back at my parents’ house, and growing up, if it was in my dad’s way or he didn’t deem it useful, it was chucked. Between that, and then losing most of my stuff due to an ex (don’t share a storage unit, just don’t), I now HAVE to have ALL of my stuff where I can either see it, or know it’ll be safe (my car, my own storage unit, or a trunk in the basement that’s too heavy to move). It’s a complete disaster in here, and I recognize that and own it. But it’s due to mental illness and trauma, not laziness like some people think. (Don’t do this to your kids. It’s not going to have the effect you might think.)
My mum has always been supportive of me she would help me with collections throughout my childhood and knows that I'm into anime. As soon as she saw my interest interest in art, she would give me art supplies since I come from a creative family on both sides of my parents. My mums upbringing was toxic, so she didn't want to repeat the same actions her mother did with my sister and I. Sure, we have a few arguments but that's very rare.
@@areswalker5647 people in these comments just jealous that their kids aren’t making 6 digits every year, have 3 sources of passive income, and got all of the 2 year old hoes. L behavior fr fr /s
I grew up in foster care, so I wasn't able to see my Mom often. On my 8th birthday, she had bought me a calico cat stuffed animal. I named her Patches, and she was my most cherished possession *ever,* my comfort item. And by the time I was 14, my Aunt had threw her frikkin away. I am 28 now and the memory still brings me immense rage to the point I see red, even when it happens to other people. I'll NEVER forgive my Aunt and she can have fun with me not going to her funeral. 😡🤬😤 I don't let ANYONE I don't trust touch my stuff without my permission, and I don't trust a lot of people. Even just people helping me to move is anxiety inducing. *Don't touch my frikkin stuff.* 🤬😡
Oh no...that's awful! Who does that?! I'm grown now but as a teen I put some of my favorite, well kept, plushies up in the closet at my mom's house for safe keeping. My niece got to them and had clearly been playing with them, and my mom just said, "Well, you left them here so long; what does it matter?!" I about lost it. I wish I'd have been thinking clearly enough to say, "Oh? Well we better call the bank about 'your' savings then!" I got upset just reliving that. I'm on the spectrum with anxiety and do NOT like people in my room or touching my stuff. Also, big collection of plushies. In my late 30s and give zero fricks if that's "normal." It's not that I was upset with my niece, but the total lack of respect my mom had and has for me upsets me. Respecting other people's stuff is so basic, and if you're not watching your grandkid while they're in your house, then you tell them what they can't touch and where they can't go! Jesus even a 7 yr old understands no, but she never said no to my sister either, so I dunno what I expect. That was a few yrs ago and my niece is getting past playing with plushies now, so they just sit out at Mom's house. Compromise, I guess. My advice? Even if it's not the one you were given by your mom, if you have the means, replace the one you lost. Whisper its name to it and tell it that it now carries the emotions and memories of its predecessor. Will it be the same? No, but I've found it helpful for replacing items with strong sentimental value. ❤
@@Just1Nora 1. FRICK YOUR MOM FOR DOING THAT, OMG!!! THE AUDACITY! And 2. I could never, ever replace Patches. She was basically like a living, sentient individual to me since I believe certain physical items all have a soul. And she was the leader of my first stuffed animal group. I could never replace her, God forbid give some other stuffed animal her name! 😱 Sacrilege! XD Tbf tho, Patches had a daughter, a smaller stuffed calico cat I had named Stitch. Lost Stitch and my first stuffed animal group to my Aunt too. However, not long ago while playing Minecraft to RP one of my stories with friends, I had actually been inspired to name this calico MC cat I found in the game, and incorporated it into my story. I decided that, maybe, if I hold on to the tradition hard enough, I could have this new calico cat be what Stitch's son would be. So he would be Patches' grandson. Enough years have certainly passed for that. I also wanted to have the names remain associated with fabric and such, like with Patches and Stitch. So I chose to name this new cat Weaves. All that's left really is to possibly find a vessel for him irl, a new calico stuffed animal. Still a bit hesitant cuz it's a sensitive decision for me, but it does bring me even just a bit of hope and comfort. Gonna stop typing now before I start tearing up. ^^' Ty for hearing and understanding my experience tho. It's really comforting and validating.
People need to understand that if something belongs to somebody, don't just throw it out. I don't care what it is, ask their permission. I don't understand why people can't get that through their heads
“Cruelty is the opposite of love, not just some inarticulate version of it.” - Edward St. Aubyn These parents aren´t loving their children in a twisted way, they are being horrible just because they can.
the limp story reminded me of something that happened with my own mother, though i was slightly older (15-16, if i recall correctly). we have a tradition in my country where some ppl go out and play the drums. i am very sensitive to noise, it makes me very uncomfortable and go through heavy panic attacks if exposed for a very long time knowing that, my mom made me go, because "you can't stay all day inside!". at first, it was fine, but then i started feeling... quite bad, i could barely stand up, i was dizzy, and overwhelmed. i told my mom, and she told me to stop being dramatic. her boyfriend agreed. later that night, i couldn't sleep. i told my mother to take me to the hospital, since my ears hurt a lot. of course, she told me to brush it off and try to sleep. finally, i managed to convince her to take me the following day. you wouldn't guess what happened! my eardrum FUCKING BROKE and, i don't know if it was genuine or not, but my mom acted as if she had no idea why that could've happened to me. the doctor also said that the pain could've been alleviated IF NOT COMPLETELY AVOIDED if i was able to leave when i started feeling bad. thankfully nothing long-term happened, but i do get ear pain sometimes... though my mother forgot it happened at all.
Discreetly put some headphones on her when she’s in a deep sleep. Then. Play the most loud ear splitting sound known to man kind. Then when she goes to get it checked out. Say that you had no idea that would do that to her. Because what goes around comes around one million fold. I have sensitive everything. So I understand not being comfortable with noise. But a normal responsible adult would immediately get their kids out of there if they are even the least bit uncomfortable. I hope that doctor rips her multiple new ones. You could have very well lost your hearing. You can tell this hits pretty close to home for me.
Also that top part of my comment is not to be taken seriously. She may have almost caused you hearing damage. But turning around and doing it to her worse is not right. I have a better idea. Tell the entire extended family. And ask them to never let her live it down. Make sure she knows that she could have hurt you for years. Even if you moved out. Keep reminding her that she hurt you. And watch the fun begin.
I swear I get new childhood memories long-suppressed unlocked every time I see your InsaneParents vids - and your wholesome counters and pointing out what's wrong feel like just the kind of voice inner kid me needs to hear to reframe things and heal. This year, it was reframing the reality of what my abusive mother's ill-conceived "real estate venture" during the market crash of '08 left me with: a hate of housecleaning. Because she treated me like a literal cleaning lady when I was 8-14. I don't remember how long I cleaned for, but it would have been at least 4 hours multiple times a week. I never got paid. I just got yelled at. I was expected to stay with her all day if I wasn't in school, to help her. Unpaid. Now that I have my own place and I've been NC with her, I'm finding I actually really enjoy cleaning and keeping my own place clean. I see it reflecting my improving mental health, as well - and it makes sense to me now why my mother's office has been a literal tinderbox of old papers and hoarded things for my whole life. I'm glad to say I think I'm one step further away from an irrational fear of somehow "ending up just like my mother". Thanks for helping me break the cycle, The Click.
Every time i see an r/ insane parents feature, i call my parents and tell them how lucky i am to have been raised in a loving non-insane household. Some of these stories just break my heart.
As someone who grew up with an abusive mother and have full intent to move out ASAP now that I'm 21, I'm really really happy you got to have a really great relationship your parents, haha. That is very sweet to thank them for being great every time you see it. I hope all goes well with them forever more!
just in time for my lunch break ❤ also i love this subreddit because it's both relatable, oddly comforting, and a good reminder that i shouldn't be putting up with bullshit just because i share DNA with someone lmao edit: BREAKING NEWS!!! THIS JUST IN! you do not owe anyone respect if they do not offer you the same respect in return, regardless of who they are, parents or otherwise. edit the second: cool it removed clicks like because i edited the comment lmao rip
with the thing for not getting checked up, it's really important too because i had these little spacing-out episodes every day and my parents just thought it was me ignoring them until my friend told me it might be seizures. they took me to a neuropsychologist and i ended up being diagnosed with epilepsy
I love the clicks intros. This entry was one of the hilarious things I have seen today. They click in Cosplay interacting with his normal self speaking to himself, is having me cry with tears.😂
I've done vague venting 😂 Thought it'd be a good way to trick my narc mom into actually listening to me, for a change. Also, a great way to know if someone has breached your boundaries, spying on you after you blocked them. Just like reading someone else's journal. You can't get mad over what you find in there. You weren't supposed to be digging in there, in the first place.
Before Covid started I had this nasty sinus infection one summer that TKO'ed me for like 2 weeks. The following summer I started noticing a bunch of the same early symptoms I had with the sinus infection the year before so I went to get a culture swabbing done. When I told the doctor why I was there before she did the swab her reaction was "you're good man" (she was this elderly British lady) and then went on to explain how since she started practicing in Canada she is shocked how many people still wait until there a major issue before seeking medical attention even with Universal Health Care.
6:50 I can do you one better: it would be absolutely justified to show those texts to the police (or at least some youth help program). This is a clear threat of violence and at least in my country you could be sued and sentenced to reperations for that. In any way, if you receive messages like that and there's a non-zero chance they'll actually walk the walk, you should get professional help involved. If you're scared to go home because of domestic violence/abuse, don't go home, go get help!
In the last one the father was more "on his period" than his daughter I love very unstable men telling how the women are supposed to be unstable, it's the essence of the manosphere.
I have ADHD. I constantly forgot to clean my room as a child and my mom’s solution to “teach me to remember” was to take everything that was out in my room and give it to Goodwill. I now have huge issues when it comes to my possessions because of this and am constantly having to fight with myself about it in order to not become a hoarder. Please don’t do this to your child. I still didn’t remember to clean my room because ADHD doesn’t work that way. It doesn’t fix the problem, it just causes more issues down the line.
I've seen so many similar messages! It doesn't make me happy, but I feel validated at least. If any parent was looking to prevent this, then all they have to do is see us admitting our trauma turned us hoarders. Yay. 😐
The day you tell your child that you arent their parent anymore, you stop being their parent. You cannot take that back
The OP said that “SHE told him that he is not her father anymore”.
She was tired of all of his bs and told him that they are done. Not the other way around. All the power to her 👏🏻
Very, very true.
@@butterflypooo well i must have misheard smthng. Anyway my point still stands
@@wiktorszymczak4760 Click quoted it incorrectly, that’s all.
But yeah, I agree w ur point.
Facts
I love how the mom think they can just threaten the kid to get better, it's like saying "Stop crying or I'll give you reason to cry" and expect them to just stop their tear ducts.
"Stop crying or I'll beat you" -Shi*y parents
yeah exactly?! fucking hate that shit, what do they expect.
although… it did kind of “””work””” in my case. I was in environments where I was p much surrounded by that kind of rhetoric for years, day in day out, and now I struggle to cry normally. either I drop at most 3 tears if I’m lucky or I feel crying coming on and the ingrained response where I immediately start stifling the tears pops up 💀 (I learned multiple techniques in my own over those years of this shit)
so essentially I’ve been fucked over so bad my tear ducts did stop, but not really intentionally.
It does work, in the wrong way. If you can stop your tears willfully, it’s not healthy.
I mean, it does work, but then you just become emotionally constipated for the rest of your life :/
When I start crying, it can take an hour to stop, even if I'm no longer upset. My father will yell at me to stop crying and then gets mad when I dont.
When i was 24, my mother celebrated the miscarriage of my child because the child's mother is a bit plus-sized but when my sister got pregnant at 16 she reacted with joy. Guess who doesn't talk to his mother anymore...
Jesus Christ, that's vile!
I'm so sorry for you❤
What. The actual. Fuck? What a disturbing thing to do...
She doesnt deserve to know her grandkids and your kids dont deserve to be around peeps like her, so good on you! And neither do you, nor you lady. She sounds like shes mentally exhausting to be around, you know, soul vampire. Run free, run far and be happy!
How can she walk around when she has such a shriveled heart and soul
Favorite saying about strict parents: They make sneaky kids not 'good' kids.
I can comfirm
There are literally studies proving this...
Also, well, the history of serial killers' childhoods...
Me too.
depends, one can be strict in a consequent and respectful way, without compleatly overdoing it and provide just as much reliable support as guidance. the supposedly strict parents you are talking about are abusive parents . . . big difference!
so much abuse gets excused with "just being strict"!
I can't believe I've never heard that saying before because that is great! I'm definitely saving that one for later
I've noticed that the good parents are generally the ones stressing out and doubting if they're doing a good job but from an outside perspective they are amazing, the parents that brag, especially about they're kids fearing them, is a big red flag.
Totally
As they say, true imposters don’t have imposter syndrome
If you aren't sure your doing it all wrong a few times a year, you are
Reminds me of how my mom always goes, 'Children are supposed to fear their parents! You can't just do this to your mother!'
I am so looking forward to escaping from that house.
@@HazelHong-t6eI know your comment is old but I hope you‘re okay and you have the opportunity to leave that household soon. Stay strong! I‘m rooting for you!
"I will call anyone I want any pronoun I want!" "Oh of course, sorry ma'am, you are the woman of the household afterall."
R/ChaoticGood, really wish i could see their reaction to that.
The only legal misgendering
My favorite thing to do to transphobes is correct their “spelling”
“Oops you forgot the s on she, not that im your english teacher, just dont want you to feel embarassed for being incorrect when youre well aware that shes a girl 😊”
I don't wanna be that guy, but 600 likes? Holy shit that's the highest number of likes ever on any comment I've ever made. Glad it was for a joke tbh. Thanks for likes!
@alexandracalvert5681 maybe don't talk about correct spelling when you said im instead of I'm.
Fun animal fact: The Australian Western Pygmy Possum is actually one of the largest pygmy possums in the world, despite being no larger than a typical kiwi fruit and is very adorable!
Aww
It is a fun fact, but this is kinda like saying "The biggest tiny thing is still kinda tiny"
Is it as fuzzy as a kiwi?
Nice
I looked it up, and they're so adorable!
As my therapist says: "you deserve the respect and decency from your parents. If they don't give you that, they don't deserve to be called your parents"
Parenting is a job
Their relationship with their adult children is their performance rating
HalleluSatan
l u c k y -
i’m not even in therapy yet, and even then i’m not aloud to talk about “family” issues there- 💀
on a better note, hope y’all’s days are going better
For me. I have a physiatrist instead of a therapist. But still my parents sit in on my appointments. I mean. It’s good that we found out I’m autistic. But that’s about it.
No comfort for *anything.*
My parents always say I’m fine. I’m touch starved to the point where I’m extremely cold. I absolutely despise myself. And I was extremely close to doing something to myself.
And even now I think that nothing will change until I’m out of the house. I’m a gay trans female with anti LGBTQ parents.
@@shadowking278 Hope things get better once you're out. Hang in there the best you can.
As somebody who works as a housekeeper in a nursing home, our facility has our fair share of "they never visit". Yeah, no shit, susan
I broke my foot as a one year old and my parents only found out a week later. I wasn’t walking yet so they didn’t notice at first. They both still talk about how bad they felt and I’m 39 now 😂 that’s a more normal reaction than going “oh well”.
My sister broke her arm trying to prove some boys wrong about how "girls can't be strong". She refused to let my mom take her to the hospital because she was scared she would have to get a cast and never get to do gymnastics again. Her mentality was "if I don't know it's broken, then it's not broken". My mom agreed, because she wasn't in any obvious pain. But two days later, when her arm continued to be red and swell, she took her to the hospital for an x-ray.
Around 10th grade, I was at school & not feeling well. Sent to nurse, nurse says I have a fever, sends me home. My father comes home about 30 minutes later & finds me in bed. He takes me back to school, kicks me out of the car, tells me not to ever come home sick again. Thankfully my English teacher had no problem with me passing out in the back of her class on the few occasions I needed it 🤣
Oh and that reminds me of the time I had some kind of allergic reaction and my eyes swelled shut. Slightly terrifying, so I asked to go to the hospital. My father asks me _what did you put in your eyes??_ - um, nothing I have no idea what's going on here, can we go to the hospital? Nope, beating instead. For "lying". But the swelling went down a day or two later & never recurred, so I got that going for me, which is nice.
Is your foot ok now?
@@mallninja9805is everything okay now matey 😃 are you an adult and moved out from that household?
When I was young I accidentally slammed my thumb in my dads car door. We didn’t even know it was fractured till the next day but it was kinda more my fault than his. Sure I had the normal reaction at first. I cried for about 30 minutes. Then was the unusual part. You’d think a 5 year old who had just fractured his thumb would have cried for more than 30 minutes. You’d also think there’d be no way in hell he could move it while claiming not to experience much pain later that night. So I don’t fault my dad for his disbelief at first. I didn’t even know it was fractured. I seemed alright and when my dad took me to the doctor the next day just to be sure that’s when we found out. I honestly in hindsight feel bad because I felt like I should be experiencing more pain for a literal fracture, but you live and learn ig
It’s always fun to see him wearing the wig and doing the voice, even if he’s being a bit insane
Specially if he’s being insane
The insanity is a feature, not a bug 😌
…but what if everytime Click wears the Karen wig it gets stronger?! 😱
@@TheNormExperience do you think will it gain sentience and take him over like a brain slug? the odds are low, but never zero...
Not y’all making lore to wigs 💀
“Respect” is their code word for “fear me”. They become parents bc they think it legitimizes them being an authority figure over their kids. They just care about power.
Too many flashbacks of my own upbringing.
this is way too relatable
@@kiroesalt ❤️
Felt. Absolutely felt.
@@wintig245 take care & never give up on healing ❤️
Remind me of what my grandma said to her kids:
Whether out of love or fear, you will respect me.
If my dad didnt convince my mom we "needed our grandparents" she wouldve gone no contact
I said it before and I say it again, I am so happy that children are now able to record abusive behavior with their phones. When I was a kid, there was no cam, even recordings with some voice recorder was not easy to get and expensive. Thanks god this kind of technology is available for regular people now.
I pity those kids that might be going through situations like I had, right now. Even though phones are so common, now, there are bound to be abusive parents out there like the ones I had that make 150% sure their kid has no means of contacting anyone outside the household, whatsoever. No computer, no internet, no cell, no landline, attempts to sabotage any seeds of friendships, using mind games to make it so adults at school will even think everything out of the kid's mouth is a lie, aaand not even anywhere to runaway to, as they love to live miles away from other houses - let alone towns.
Even the abundance of phones in the lives of the majority won't help those kids.
@@crystallinethunder in some places the abuse can be streamed life to public and the parents may face no consequences. I'm Polish and there was an incident with a patostreamer (patological streamer, usually it means getting as drunk as possible in front of the camera for money). For days, maybe even weeks or months a family of 5 streamed their lives inside their home 24/7. For a very long time it showed the bad condition the 3 children had to live in, the dad was getting drunk all the time and was verbally and physically violent towards the children, especially the oldest 7 year old boy. The mom didn't do anything and turned a blind eye whenever the dad was yelling for no reason or threatening to kill the child. One day the dad got maybe too drunk or just too blind with rage and almost killed the boy by strangling. The mom reacted only when the child started desperately gasping for air and stopped screaming for help (possibly because he was close to passing out). It was all streamed live. Only then child services reacted (they have been notified by that family before multiple times) and luckily the children were given to a foster family. Even recordings won't be enough in a broken system that ignores children's wellbeing
@@billcipher8645 Prime example of how bad it really is. To think that even the tech available doesn't improve a kid's chances much more than being in a situation like what I grew up in. It's sad and desperately needs fixed.
Somewhere I still have a few 90-minute tapes where I recorded some of my mother's tantrums berating me for hours pretty much every day. I recorded them with a Walkman. It didn't help.
18:35 TODDLER GIRL?! So the toddler was sopposed to clean and manage her room by herself or get her clothes taken away? Wow such great parenting
I appreciate the timing of this video; today, after 30 odd years of being in an abusive family relationship, I finally had the courage to say "no more" and walk away. I would never have even thought that was an option if it wasn't for your videos showing me that what my family does is not normal. Thank you, Click, for being a supportive and kind person. Your videos changed my life.
Congratulations on finally getting out of a terrible situation.
Congratulations. I'm proud of you for walking away and prioritizing your well being. There may be moments where you feel guilt or doubt for walking away, but your happiness and safety are more important and you deserve respect and dignity. Good luck and know that you're strong.
YES! Eternal suffering for them. >:3
Hope you’re out there living your best life. :3
Good for you. Congratulations. Your life will be better.
Further proof that clicky thiccy is the goat
Reminder to people with insane parents: you are valid, your time spent tolerating their nonsense will not last forever, and going no-contact with an abuser is a genuinely good choice even if they badger you to do otherwise. If you're in a bad spot now, trust me, things will get better...
Keep going and live your best life for yourself, or at the very least, _to spite insane parents._
literally needed this
Oh hey, you're here too. Hello hungry latias.
And yeah, a good chunk of people need this.
This is so sweet, i needed this today
Living a good life to spite those who don't want you to do so is the best way to handle those mfers.
Thank you, I needed this today ❤
The part where you were talking about people being overly protective of their property really hit home for me.
I have a narcissistic older sister who always took and used my stuff and when I called her out for it, she'd beat me up.
My mom does the same thing, using my stuff without asking first, thanks me afterwards, then justifies her actions by saying, "you weren't using it so why are you getting mad?"
Now, I have the whole issue of aggressive possession, where I don't like sharing at all even as an adult. Plus, I now have the additude of "you touch my shit, you lose a hand." Not proud of it but that's what I grew up dealing with. Can't wait to move away from my family.
use the money in their bank accounts to pay off mortgages and bills, then justify it with that same logic
Relatable.
I get really attached to stuff and can become a bit spiteful when it is taken without my knowledge of it.
And by spiteful I mean corvid spiteful
@@haybaleanimations2758 "someone took my belongings, activate Crow Mode™" *eviscerates and mauls*
I grew up in foster care, so I wasn't able to see my Mom often. On my 8th birthday, she had bought me a calico cat stuffed animal. I named her Patches, and she was my most cherished possession *ever,* my comfort item.
And by the time I was 14, my Aunt had threw her frikkin away. I am 28 now and the memory still brings me immense rage to the point I see red, even when it happens to other people. I'll NEVER forgive my Aunt and she can have fun with me not going to her funeral. 😡🤬😤
I don't let ANYONE I don't trust touch my stuff without my permission, and I don't trust a lot of people. Even just people helping me to move is anxiety inducing.
*Don't touch my frikkin stuff.* 🤬😡
@haybaleanimations2758 I'm now going to use the term "Corvid Spiteful" for when someone touches or takes my stuff.
Every time there’s a story on this subreddit where a parent just throws away everything instead of having their kid clean up, I’m realize growing up like that played a huge role in why I consider my things (and by extension myself) worthless and easily replaceable.
It took over a decade for me to start healing from that. I’m not over it yet, but getting there.
Anyways good vid Cliccy
I'm glad you found yourself. You deserve to be happy. Make sure to treat yourself, and have a hood day. You are worth it.
You cant be replaced, youre one of a kind and no one else could ever be you. People love you for you, so make it count. This thought helped me thru some dark times, hope it can help you now, I think Ill leave it with you :)
Yeah I get threatened with that by my parents
It's always so sobering to hear someone talk about how these crazy parent behaviors affected them long after the events. Thank you for sharing, and, quite frankly, spreading awareness. I assume most people who watch the channel are of a similar mindset, but I think it's important to hear about the consequences from people who experienced it.
I think I have the opposite effect. since my mother equated taking my favorite things to punishing me directly, I subconsciously consider literally everything I own AS an extension of myself. I find it painful to get rid of things and have seriously almost fought people because I freak out when anyone touches my stuff.
"if my children don't owe me, why would I owe them" because you literally made them, you are the reason they are in the world
Insane parent story. I was not the child.
A cousin of mine, who was a first time mom, went to the playground with her 1 year old son. This was prior to the rise of mommy influencers, but that was her mentality. She was doing this for pictures and videos to show off. Most of the time, she handed the kid off to someone else to take care of (usually me).
So, she took him all over the play structures, and at one point he 'starts fussing' (as she described it), and he wouldn't stop. She brings him home, puts him to bed, but he won't sleep. She calls up her parents, drops him off with them, and tells them he's just being a 'fussy little baby'. They spend all night with him. They admit that his 'fussing' is more like screaming, but they wait through the night thinking it's probably nothing. In the morning, they call their daughter (kid's mom) to pick him up, tell her that something is probably wrong, and she should book a doctor's appointment.
She calls the doctor's office. What luck, there's an opening that afternoon! She takes him in. He's lost his voice, he's barely slept, he's pale. The receptionist tells her to GET HIM TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM.
They find that he has a spiral fracture in his leg. She's confused about how this could have happened.
When time comes for her to show off her 'mommy times', the mystery is solved. At one point, she has him going down a slide largely unassisted. You can see the heel of his little sneakers dragging against the metal of the slide, the repetitive rotation and 'jump' of his leg. You can see the moment he starts screaming his head off.
This infant child spent nearly 24 hours with an untreated broken leg. I'm honestly surprised he didn't die of shock.
This was the second time she seriously disregarded his physical wellbeing. It would not be her last.
And of course, she had two more kids after this. She should've had her rights to parenthood taken away.
This is just vile
We need there to be parent licenses, where if you don't have a license, you don't get your tax benefits
watdafaq
Perfect serial evidence for CPS
Is on this moments when people think abortion is a good idea to avoid a life of abuse for the child?? I mean people is always saying " the " baby" deserves a good life..." But what good life are they talking about if the child is getting abused until they are old enough to get out??
My dad has complained about doing the bare minimum as a parent before for me (multiple times.). It's not even like I wasn't planned and they didn't choose to have me... They adopted me 🥲. They literally chose to take me in. They chose to take care of me.
I’m adopted too! My mom loves to bring up the fact that nobody else would’ve adopted me as a child and would have grown up “loveless” and because of that I owe her the world. I blocked her for good last month after trying to get her to care about me for years. Never felt better blocking the toxicity and hatred.
I never understood this. If you don't like kids, why are you adopting them??
You literally have to go through hoops (at least in my country) to be even CONSIDERED as a candidate for adoption. It's an extremely long process. It's also expensive. Why knowingly go through all that, only to complain later?
As you said, it's not like an unplanned pregnancy, where you're suddenly scrambling to get everything together. This is a conscious choice. You're literally taking in a child who may or may not have trauma and needs unconditional love.
If you know that you're unable to give that love, why are you adopting a child?
They say they didn't do the thing they literally did
@@ZimVader-0017 Honestly a lot of it is people who have the mentality of "I rescued you from (traumatic situation) so you should be forever grateful for any crumbs of affection I give to you" when that's just not how people and especially children operate
@@ZimVader-0017 They ended up with a child with anxiety, depression, potential ADHD and/or Autism (Getting referred for both.) who is pansexual and goes by any pronouns who has trauma and is a therian, furry and system. They definitely did not realise the amount of mental issues I had when they adopted me 😅. The sad truth is, they were going to adopt a boy before me, but he had too many mental issues for them to effectively cater to but then they ended with me 🙃
Edit: I had to literally argue with my mum to get referred for the ADHD and Autism. Also I mentioned I wanted to change my name because my name just doesn't sit right when I hear it said and she said "Oh please don't, it's such a lovely name and it's what everyone knows you as. Please don't." In a way you would talk to a five year old to coerce them to do something. If I even mention any mental illness that is not depression or anxiety she just says it's "Just a label." Or "You sure it isn't just *insert other thing which isn't even like the original thing*." She has been doing a slight bit better but I think it's only because I mentioned I was having negative thoughts to my doctor.
Fun fact: Any child who is younger than gen z right now is, in fact, alpha. That is the generational name. So a baby boy would be an alpha male. That's all there is to it, and it's not a justification for putting a child in danger.
I guess the next generation will be "betas" then. I don't envy having to deal with the "jokes" they'll be subjected to.
Then again, maybe it'll dispel that stupid alpha/beta myth. It *still* amazes me that it originated from a faulty study of wolf behavior...
and soon it's going to be generation beta in 2024 or it's 2026. this was the reason I clicked on this video. I'm always surprised when people call 12 year olds or 10 year olds Gen Z. because they are Gen Alpha, it does make sense though for those without kids or planning to have kids to not know this though so I can see why
@@nevermindmyparentsimthepunk I feel like I wouldn’t know this even if I had kids
@@nevermindmyparentsimthepunk
By what I’ve been told, 2015 and under is gen z. So both of them would be gen z.
@@3.-HyperCandy-.4 Nope my Fiancé is Gen Z he was born in 1998. Gen Z starts mostly in 1997
Nobody asked to be born, and for most people being born into this world is basically a curse. The idea that anyone owes their parents anything throughout childhood is abusive and insane.
If I had a choice between reliving my childhood and not being born, I'd literally rather have never existed.
Addendum; Life can get better as an adult. It's not guaranteed, but it's worth it to try, even if you had shitty parents. If I can make things even marginally better for myself, anyone can. 👍
That’s why I never understood Christianity. It’s not free will if i didn’t ask to exist.
21:20 Inhaling spices is probably damaging the mucus lining of her nose and lungs causing her to be more susceptible to respiratory illnesses
Yeah, based on soap-making vids cinnamon can cause pretty major irritation of sensitive skin areas, so putting it regularly in contact with mucus membranes sounds not okay, esp. if child's already prone to nasal & bronchial irritations?
"Why should I owe my kids anything?" You owe them for forcibly bringing them into this world without consent, and then keeping them. It is literally your responsibility to do everything possible to provide a healthy, safe, and nurturing (mentally, physically, and emotionally) environment for them to grow and learn. It is also not your job to dictate every aspect of their lives and themselves, as they are a sentient creature with independent thoughts and feelings and interests. Why is this so hard for some people to understand????
I watch these and I feel so much better about my abilities as a mother. Whenever I start to doubt myself my son tells me to watch insane parents videos and it helps me realize I'm not perfect but I'm not nucking futs!
Edit: I had insane parents so I doubt my own parenting. The Click's videos make me realize I'm not following down that same path when the self doubt creeps in.
It's mostly the parent who wonder if their being a good parent who end up being the best parents.😊
@@paolaadames8028 ❤️ thanks. He's 16, speaks to me openly about pretty much anything, does fairly well in school and has a good group of friends who somehow think I'm cool. Yet there's always doubt.
Yes, mom-guilt can make you feel horrible, even if you are a fantastic mother. But the fact that you feel it, is a sign you really care about your kiddo.
Nobody is perfect, but as long as the kids are happy, stay mentally/physically healthy and have a good social life, we are doing good.
That you're even worried about it means you're already miles ahead of insane parents. Most insane parents think they're always right and their way of parenting is perfect and correct and they wouldn't doubt themselves or think they might be at fault
@@BlueSodaPop_ that was my parents. Well, that and so much more. I love these videos because I'm not alone, there are others out there with nut jobs as parental units. I can cringe and laugh and feel better about how I'm raising my son.
As someone who grew up in a home ruled by my narcissistic dad, even though I am 12 years through therapy, it is very comforting and validating to hear Click react to abusive parenting practices the way he does.
It's important to remember that a regular check-up to see if something is wrong can easily end up costing hundreds of dollars MINIMUM in the US. There are a lot of times that we think something is wrong, and still don't go because we 'can't afford it'. Probably the biggest reason that our lifespans are so much shorter than they should be. Still, if it's your kid, you should take them to the doctor. But I can understand why some people are hesitant.
It's very easy for us Scandinavians who only pay a small fee to see the doctor, or even for big examinations and xrays, to forget the expenses that US citizens have to endure. Here it's "better with 100 examinations that turn out to be nothing" than that 1 missed one.
Still, the way this guy wrote about it it doesnt sound like expense was the reason for not going😕
Yeah, that's the one thing I was thinking that might excuse that sort of thing, somewhat. Obviously you should do everything you can to make sure your children are healthy... but living in the US can make that difficult to do while still being able to provide them the necessities needed to... be healthy. It's incredibly fucked up, taking your kid to the doctor can actually be *worse* for them than not doing it.
Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness... but only for the people who can afford them.
Yeah, as a Scandinavian I always remind myself of that. For a lot of people, that check-up will take money out of the food budget, or means you can't afford rent that month. And then you fall behind, and things snowball. I called an ambulance when my dad had a dizzy spell when working in the garden. They assured me I did the right thing, they took him in to see the doctor, and it looked okay. To be safe they drove the one hour drive to the hospital. Turned out to be nothing.
But would I have called if I was American? Or would I have gotten into my car to drive him to the doctor myself, and then the hospital if need be? Pretty sure I would drive, considering ambulance costs. Then the medical personnel would have gotten to him later, and my dad would have had to travel all that way without constant supervision, which could have killed him if there had been something wrong. It's scary to think about the fact that people have to make those decisions in a country that can afford the same healthcare system we have.
Fr fr theres been so many times that I’d had something wrong with me and didn’t go cuz it was too expensive I was partially deaf in one of my ears for like six months and only went cuz it started to hurt badly and then my kneecap dislocated wo reason (i was legit taking a nap shifted maybe three inches and boom) and I was super anxious to go to the doctor cuz what if it happened again?????!? And my parents said it would be way too fucking expensive so they got me a knee brace at Walgreens and called it a day. My uni just recently got a free student health clinic and I’m ecstatic to actually get healthcare without worrying about break the bank
@@Manthab Some unis have that? That's amazing! Maybe that will help push through a proper healthcare reform, if university "kids" learn how precious that peace of mind is. The effect it adds to a person's quality of life, both mentally and physically, is enormous.
The spice dad's attempts at keeping his daughters safe by strengthening their immune systems with spices was frickin' wholesome compared to most of the stories in Click's videos. It's nice to hear about parents who care about their kids and whose craziness isn't destructive.
I mean in the dad's defense: Garlic IS really good for immune support, and ginger is good for Nausea (and I've used lemon ginger tea to ground during really bad anxiety attacks.) He's trying in his own way... maybe just not with Cinnamon like Click thinks. 😂😂
@@kaelin_cherise Good point. And if that's the most crazy thing a dad does, they've won the lottery on the parent front!
@JWildberry I mean it's like the parents who go holistic (everything natural, everything organic) after having kids, in theory they're trying to do right by their kids and give them better lives than they had, but some just go crazy with it. It's when you go too far and ignore things like DOCTORS that we start calling you crazy.
Snorting spices will only damage the nose, throat, and lungs. Those powders are actually really sharp to breathe in
Yeah when you're having a cold eating a bit of spice actually helps especially ginger
As a grandmother I am seriously depressed by the thought of the world that my generation (and the ones that came bofore and after) have done to the world that they will inherit as they grow from childhood to adulthood.
As someone with terrible parents I'm sure we'll be alright. Don't worry too hard. Our generation is healing a lot of what's happened to us.
Try not to worry. One good thing is going to talk to a professional counselor is actually seen as a good thing and helpful. This helps balance things out a bit. Also seeing most of the the generations in my area most are good people and doing their best.
As a teenager,
Yes, the world's minds are rotting, but, it's best to ignore it as it can't really be fixed.
I love that "Respect your parents" argument, my mom pulled that on me one too many times and got responded with "You have to give a little to get a little". Needless to say, I got grounded and my ass whooped for disrespecting her authority as if she's some mighty overlord dictator. Kind of funny when she'd have child like meltdowns when you question her warped reality. Of course, it did involve her throwing things, cussing, screaming and other insane things but it was funny regardless
My mother exhibits so many of these toxic behaviours which is why I've been NC/LC for 4 years and I've legit never been happier. I have a wonderful partner, two kitty daughters, a fantastic friend circle and my life is exactly what she swore it would never be if I cut her off.
Love you, Click, and all of this wonderful fandom 💖
My parents thought I had an abscess tooth the day after Halloween, probably from too much candy, so they took me to the dentist just to be safe. The dentist told them to get me to the ER, turns out I'd had a nasty staph infection in my jaw. I'll take parents being overly cautious with medical issues over negligence anyway.
ETA: don't worry, to balance things out, they ignored my ADHD and potential autism writing it off as me just being "weird" and "not a math kind of kid" until I was an adult
I mean - not recognizing ADHD and autism is bad but ... I don't know your gender, but for example girls are severely under diagnosed even by therapists and parents ... sometimes just aren't able to recognize it. Since ADHD and Autism are very stereotypically portrayed in media.
That is why - Whenever I talk to teachers and have the chance, I ask them about searching up signs for autism and ADHD since teachers at least have some training in working with kids. More than parents. So they would be able to see the signs easier when a kid is ''weird''
@@KaliqueClawthorne especially when you consider that the first person to be diagnosed with autism is still alive.
There’s just very little we know about the disorder, especially since most of the research is based off of amab people.
I really hope you can get diagnosed. Just knowing can help so much. I have both High Funtioning Autism and ADHD, and knowing that can be so helpful in just understanding yourself. I hope everything works out for you.
And also I think most of ADHD tests were made from testing mostly young white boys
@@cztianaki2689 Man I always forget my autism is considered a disorder. In a lot of the circles I’m in it’s not really referred to like that so it’s always funny coming across comments like this. Gives me a bit of whiplash.
19:05 Click makes a really good point here. From the age of 6-12 years old, I had a step-father named Dustin. I was the scape goat while my older sister was the favorite, so I got punished for a lot of little things. One of his favorite punishments was to force me to clean an area of the house in a limited amount of time or else he would take away everything except for my clothes, shoes, bed, and blankets. I was a 10 year old with combined hyperactive and inattentive ADHD and Autism. As you can imagine, I very rarely was able to clean the house in the given time frame and ended up with a barren room from the age of 10 to 12. I developed severe paranoia around my belongings and I am a huge Maladaptive Day-dreamer. I have an almost 4 year old nephew whose mother has been threatening to take his toys away. She says that she wouldn't actually do that because she knows what it's like to have nothing (when Dustin was still in our lives, her room was so full, you couldn't open the door or see the floor. My room was so empty it echoed.)
I still find it kinda messed to even just threaten him with it, considering she knows first-hand what it does to someone. Why not go with "if you don't clean up, you'll not get any _more_ stuff" instead? It gets the point across that you can only get new stuff if there's space to put it (which is a pretty good mindset regardless of age), without making the kid fear for their toys.
@@rolfs2165 I tried to talk to her about but she got mad and told me I had no idea what I was talking about because I'm not a parent. I may not be a parent but I was a child with an extremely emotionally abusive parental figure and I know first hand what that can do to a person later in life. My biggest fear is that he's so young and if she keeps making threats like this while he's still developing, it could affect him even worse than it affected me. I was about 10 when my stuff started getting taken away and I developed some severe paranoia and anxiety around my property. My nephew is almost 4, way younger than I was, meaning he's still in the early stages of social development. I'm worried about how he'll develop socially considering he also shows signs of autism and ADHD, which is already a disadvantage for him. Unfortunately, I know she won't listen to me because I'm younger and not a parent.
Also, having my stuff taken away so often ingrained in me the belief that I don't own anything and everything I have isn't actually mine, meaning I don't deserve it. I don't want him growing with that same mentality.
@@luniewhipple3513 I want to add that most psychologists on say that punishing a child with adhd is near impossible especially if the parent doesn’t take into account that they have adhd or the child isn’t diagnosed. The best way to even attempt to punish a child is to have them loon you in the eyes you tell them what they did wrong have them truly acknowledge it and then give the punishment and why you are doing it. Things like negative punishment (punishment that takes something away for those not in the know with the terms) tend to particularly not work. All of this is because of how the brain works with adhd, its constantly seeking dopamine so tends to go fast, meaning it’s harder to catch a child in the time frame punishment actually works, near immediately to the act. If the child isn’t actively actually taking In why they are being punished the point is null and the punishment doesn’t work. Generally doing this with neurotypical kids helps anyway so it really should be the go to.
Another point is most adhd behavior is seen as something that deservers punishment especially around where I live, so punishment for something a child can’t control harms the child mentally and also make punishments less likely to work. This applies to ANYONE in the child’s life so teaching a child with adhd to watch their teacher for punishing adhd behavior is extremely important.
Overall you want to use reinforcement at least equally or more then punishment. Reinforcement is overall better then constant punishment even if the punishments aren’t severe. If you have to punish, generally only is they’ve caused some sort of pain, it’s best to talk through with them why they are being punished for it before hand.
This was a common punishment when I was a kid too. We would be grounded for days at a time which meant you had to sit on your bed and do nothing. Not even nap. Obviously as kids we couldn't last that long without getting up so, to get rid of distractions, my dad took everything out of my room except for my bed and dresser.
I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and I often wonder if I had it back then too and how things could've been different if it had been treated.
The scary thing is, my dad was like that too, tossing almost everything if it wasn't cleaned up in time. And his name is also Dustin.
"If your children hate you then you know you're doing something right" -my mom
Yeah, doing a good job of being a complete a-hole, that's the only bit they're doing right
I mean she did fail her parental mission very succesfully I'd say.
That woman would probably be thrilled that I legitimately fantasized KILLING my stepfather starting at the age of 10 just to get away from what he did. He's dead now (not murdered), and I celebrated that fact. Like great job, all right! Really great job...
it's the opposite really
@@FederalBurroOfInvestigationNot murdered..suuure. 😉
I think the weird logic about parents not owing their kids anything (or that kids owe their parents something) is probably because of the assumption that having kids is mandatory--like an obligation. It makes sense that someone who thinks they had kids in order to fulfil this assumed obligation would feel entitled to _something_ from their kids--after all, they held up their end of the bargain when they conceived.
That's an interesting idea, I'd never thought of it that way. I wonder if that ties into some of the reasons child-free adults get so much hate. "I had to suffer through raising children, it's not fair that you don't suffer as well!"
@@PenguinLord10 Oh absolutely. Misery loves company. A good number of the mean ones didn't realize or even have the option to not have kids (depending on age and upbringing), and often times are resentful and jealous seeing that their lives could have been way different. They take it out on childfree people a lot. That's how you get tired parents covered in mess and screaming children telling others actively how it's different when it's your kids and how much you will love having kids. How it's so selfish to spend money on yourself (especially "wasting money" on nice little things, quality of life improvements, etc, let alone vacations or a nice vehicle or home...) instead of raising the next generation. How greedy cf people are entitled jerks and what's wrong with the world these days... All that tiring nonsense.
I have compassion for anyone who had kids before they were able to realize they had the option not to. I'm in my 30s and grew up in a fundamentalist group where unmarried women and married couples without children were simply pitied for the tests god was putting them through. I didn't realize I actually truly had an option not to have kids AT ALL until I was married and "when do we know the right time to have kids?" was in discussion and I realized I didn't ever want to start. I liked my life as-is.
That said, the blame for that goes on my upbringing. Not on childfree people. I was lucky enough to become cf in time. I feel bad for those who didn't, and also they need to direct their anger at the true source of their pain. It's society they grew up in, not cf folks.
@@clocksideOne day, I wrote a random comment (under a video about asexuality) that I was still single and had no children.
I recieved very rude replies that I didn't expected... When I could do what I want mirh my butt, guys told be: "you do nothing with your butt!" and explained me that I just had to make a guy happy cripping with him and having children (yes both parts were importants: sex AND children)😤.
@@grenade8572 I would have just replied “my legal obligation to men and children is not punting them off a bridge”
I had zero problems with my mom going into my room and cleaning it up if she wanted and she never threw anything away. One day I came home from college and learned that I’d left a notebook on the floor and she noticed I’d written something that had the name of a guy she’d heard me talk about, so she decided to read it. It was basically a little diary entry but it got VERY personal. Not only did she read it, she showed it to my dad. I was TWENTY and was starting to be intimate with someone that had similar… “interests” as me. My mom (and my poor dad) never needed to know those things, and over ten years later she refuses to apologize and I’m extremely over-protective of anyone coming into certain rooms.
She’s also confused as to why I don’t let her into my room at my house. 🙃
Remember a story where as punishment for whatever, most of daughters clothes were taken. What they left behind sounds like basic goth. Her clothes were stuffed in trash bags and put in the attic. She was supposed to "earn" them back.
Backfired. She liked not having to keep up with trends and worrying about what to wear.
Parents were mad she didn't care about getting her clothes back.
Her crime? She was caught smoking under the bleachers.
I'm surprised you let her over to your house
That's big of you. I haven't had my mom over yet and I still don't plan on it
I am so glad that my parents were no where near like this.
The closest thing is that, until I was about 10, my mother tried so hard to make me a priest.
How did she try? Did She tell you how cool priest are or something like that
@@thesanguineseal7856 Religious camp, summer religious classes, having me read the bible nightly things like that.
Can't really recall everything she tried, but those are the general things I do remember.
How is it possible to turn a child into a priest? Was she hoping to just skip the teen and rebellious phase of a child’s life?
@@Loaves_of_Cat She wanted one of her kids to be a priest, and I was her fourth. So she really tried, now I am agnostic and will probably give a beer to the devil when I see him.
Heck, she use to take me to abortion protests and treat me to waffle house. I didn't remember much about the protests but I liked getting an all star.
Yeah when I was a child I was always “not paying attention to where I walk” and had “bad spatial awareness”. Lost some vision when I was an adult and learnt I had likely been legally blind or not far off it my whole life.
It gets much better when I learnt my parents had been told this when I was around 18. They did take me to a vision therapist because I had depth perception issues.
That therapist, who never once gave me a visual field test-gave me permission to get my learners permit. And yes I did get into a crash and almost a second one.
With parents not taking their kid to a doctor, I can relate. Thanks to my parents not taking me seriously when I was always exhausted and fainting as a teenager, I only recently went to a doctor about it, and discovered that I have a chronic illness. One trip to the doctor and we got a diagnosis. Unfortunately, it was a few years too late to actually fix up the problem, so now I have a lifetime of managing symptoms. I remember getting so mad at my parents for not taking me seriously, and my fiance and I have discussed that if we ever have kids, we're going to be majorly holding each other responsible for trusting when our kid says they're sick, even if it doesn't seem that bad. Never know when it's cancer, appendicitis, diabetes, or anything else.
Parents out there, I know it can be hard, but trust your kids.
As someone with insane parents this is definitely my second favorite series of his.
It is sad to hear these stories and I wish all these guys the best, but it is nice to know I'm not alone. :)
I wanna give you more hope: I survived it and grew up to be pretty stable and happy adult. You can do this!
i hope you find a real family that loves you and appreciates all the good things about you. i also hope your "parents" always have to pee at the worst times and can't take it out on anyone.
Well now I’m curious, what’s you first favorite?
@@breathoffresherin9066 ...furryirl...💀 lol
@@Rob_Boss99 lmao
thanks for satisfying my curiosity.
The throwing away of stuff when you don't clean up was also my mom's favorite. In some fairness to my mom who I'm still very close with... she gave us a week in warning to clean up. She also would start in the family rooms, slowly going one room at a time gathering everything into a pile and once again warning to come and pick up our stuff or it would be tossed. Until she would finally get started on the bedrooms (and making sure to start away from things she knew were our favorite things, once again giving plenty of time. And sometimes putting away anything she knew was special to us.) I mean we're talking we had a week warning in advance with daily reminders to get things cleaned up, then 3 hours or more still in final countdown to get our stuff.... we were pretty stubborn kids IMO. So it took me a bit to figure out why this was an insane parents thing till realizing oh wait... they're just like you didn't clean your room before leaving the house, no you are where you cannot physically do anything about it and they're tossing your stuff?! Okay that is insane 😅.
What your mom did actually sounds reasonable. You had plenty of time so if you lost anything it was ultimately your decision. The ones we see in insaneparents just like bullying
That one was kinda stupid anyway. What does that person think who is going to have to shell out to replace all that stuff? Especially since they apparently went and took out *everything* including stuff they'd need for school.
This is one of those "everything is a spectrum" things, and your mom was on the reasonable end. Mine played "trash or treasure" where she'd hold up the thing and you had to either find a place for it or she'd throw it out. It was stressful and it was definitely a threat of "put this away or I'm throwing it out right now". But it's not like she ever tossed anything we needed, and she gave us a chance to save things.
I'm so glad that my parents were never like this. Thanks mom and dad for not being psycho
Same
We are lucky my friend we are lucky
Ratio
Same. I love my parents. And even more after watching these videos or listening to my own patients with mental struggles😢
This! Whatever their flaws, every time I hear about other people's parents, I feel very happy about mine.
here here
I feel for the person who suffered from the broken ankle and their mom just didn't care. I was jumped by my classmates in middle school because they had decided I was a lesbian (I'm not) and they kicked me in the head so it bounced off the curb. I was weaving while I walked and had a huge lump on the back of my head. The school called my mom, but wouldn't come or take me to the doctor, so the school just ignored it. I was weaving while I walked and just wanted to sleep all the time for months. My mom accused me of just not wanting to go to school because she had convinced herself I was lying about the whole thing to begin with. Why would anybody think HER child was a lesbian anyway? How silly!
Now I am 45 years old and I have to use a wheelchair and a walker because I have White Matter Disease in my frontal lobe from the brain trauma of being gay bashed and forced to act normally due to my birther's bad-faith justifications.
I'm positive if my birther were still alive and I told her about it, she'd just be saying "parents make mistakes sometimes! 🤷♂" and "OK" too.
My solidarity for everyone who has had to deal with a narcissistic parent.
That's absolutely horrible!
I wish it were possible to sue the people who _assaulted you_ back when you were kids. Because it doesn't matter that they were kids … _they committed assault_ and _caused brain damage_ on their victim! And _they_ should be held at least financially-responsible for messing up another person's life.
Those are people I wish the most horrible fates on.
What in the actual HELL?? That’s both devastating and terrifying. That should be grounds to sue _somebody._ Since you can’t sue your mom, arguably the people at the school. How old were you? After 13, that should go onto a permanent record as assault. I was told that the only reason I didn’t have assault on my record was because I wasn’t 13 after *grabbing a boy by the wrist.* Actual brain damage should _absolutely_ count as assault. If they weren’t old enough, then the school should be held responsible for letting that happen.
@@-alovelygaycat- Never underestimate how willing adults are to sacrifice children for their own convenience.
I was 12 and this happened in 1989. The idea of calling the cops on a bunch of middle schoolers for assault was considered an absurd idea. They said "Kids have fights sometimes, so just walk it off" And I should take more time time to look like a little lady if I didn't want the other kids to think I was a lesbo.
...Yeah, I know that doesn't make sense. LGBT+ were dying regularly at the time. Nobody cared. If you were openly gay, you died.
Boomers were always Boomers, and they were HORRIBLE parents.
@@John_Weiss I did look them up recently. The main one that started it and kicked me in the head is currently in prison for SA'ing an 8-year-old in his family.
Another is a single mom of three raising two of her grandkids while working as a cashier in a grocery store.
The last one became a cop. 😑
@@widowkeeper4739 I hope the cop gets busted for letting/participating in the killing of Yet Another African-American man. Not that I want to see Yet Another African-American man killed by a cop. But we all know it's going to happen. 😠 So why not that piece of sh1te being the one to go down for doing it?
As for the other two, karma's a b1tch.
(I don't know if you want to, or if it would be safe to, but the cop … maybe you could find _someone_ to slip a message to about him beating you and causing lifelong brain damage, and ask that he be looked into for police brutality. Because a shart like that almost certainly has done so.)
The best parents are the ones that understand they're not the best parents. You know it's never the loud ones.
Well yeah, it's literally the Dunning Kruger Effect in action.
The less people know (about parenting) the more they believe to know.
The more people know, the more they understand how much they don't know.
Today I was talking with my mom about this, the best Dad's are the ones that think they will never provide enough for their children... My mom told me about her neighbor that has 3 boys, she as well has germophobia to the point she can spend an stire week eating incredible bad thinking " this is not clean enough for my children" at the end she fainted because there was nothing for her body to work with, she's a good mother, she just prioritized cleaning over her health
Today I was talking with my mom about this, the best Dad's are the ones that think they will never provide enough for their children... My mom told me about her neighbor that has 3 boys, she as well has germophobia to the point she can spend an stire week eating incredible bad thinking " this is not clean enough for my children" at the end she fainted because there was nothing for her body to work with, she's a good mother, she just prioritiz
Can confirm: I'm so protective over my belongings I'm borderline a hoarder. Major trust issues too. 😅
Once as a child I complained to my mom that my eye hurt real bad. She kept telling me I was a hypochondriac and I was faking it for attention. I was crying so much it felt like I had like a rock in my eye. The next morning, I woke up with my eye swollen shut and super poofed, about the size of a baseball.
Did she end up taking you to urgent care or the hospital? And what was wrong with your eye?
@Cotton Candy 🍭🍬 Nope, I went to school and the nurse sent me back home. I got in trouble and didn't go to the hospital until the following week for a scheduled appointment. The swelling had gone down alot by then. It was a stye that had gotten big and all my rubbing got it infected. They gave me gel that I put myself but since I was a kid doing it, I had a lumpy eye for a long time.
@@doindaworst5824 I'm sorry you had to deal with that, that must've sucked
Whilst children _will_ lie about problems to get out of doing stuff, those lies are usually not very inventive (my tummy hurts), and not very consistent or thought-through. If a child keeps complaining about a very specific pain, in the exact same place, for more than an hour, they are probably not lying.
@@doindaworst5824 what the fuuuuuuuuuuu
What a baitch
My parents refused to acknowledge that my foot was broken after a log fell on it when I was 15. 15 years later I had to have a neuroma removed from that foot because the bones healed wrong and a braided the nerve for all that time until it was so painful I could not walk on it. Thanks Mom and Dad. 48 years later and I’m still salty about it.
You should be! You should in fact _remain_ salty with them about it for the rest of their lives, if they're still alive. Five decades with a malfunctioning important body part, because of their neglect and stupidity - that deserves far more than just "being salty" with them.
Don't worry, sweetie. I hope your donors get broken feet, too.
Kidnapper: Kidnaps child and holds them for ransom, takes child's phone to send threatening message.
Insane Parent: Sends abusive message to child, before he gets the chance.
Kidnapper: "......."
Kidnapper: Pays for child's therapy.
😂
This would make a good movie. Like the kidnapper adopts the kid and they help each other get over their past stuff.
@@TomatoRadioHe ain't the kidnapper anymore, he's the "kidsaver"
@Jade_4ded WOOHOO!!
I would watch that movie.
My sister-in-law is a nurse that works in mental health. She's an amazing mother to my niblings, and genuinely compationate person. Unfortunately, my parents are obsessed with the idea that my brother has distanced himself from them because his wife is somehow secretly controlling him. She's emotionally educating my brother. Our parents were not good parents. My brother devotes his time to his family because our parents spent every moment fighting. He never got to experience a nonabusive family life.
I've recently started to try and convince my dad to start trusting her now that I've also started my own mental health journey. My dad is 70 and having a tough time understanding that his son is now 37. Bro just bought his second house in a new city, and is generally busy with 2 kiddos schedules juggled between full-time Mom & Dad.
Dad: Why does HER family get to be around them all the time? What about us?
Me: Her family lives a 1hr drive away from him and the kids, we live a 4hr flight away...
Dad: Well he still only calls when he's driving home, only gives me 15 minutes to talk.
Me: Use that 15 minutes to figure out when you're both free for a longer chat.
Dad: No.
I grew up with insane parents, so I can tell you, life does get better. My kids are now grown, and though I am a weird person they say I am a good mom, so hopefully that cycle of abuse and insanity is broken. Breaks my heart to think of kids suffering through parents like mine or worse.
Honestly, these people are looking for power trips. They get high on being in control of another person and get angry when they don’t have control anymore. A manipulator usually does anything to remain in control for as long as possible. People with these parents, don’t be afraid to get help or speak out ❤️
Narcissists looking for their supply.
As a survivor of a narcissistic parent, I'm just really glad that this subreddit exists, because it can really help people understand their own abusive situation. I know that from an outside perspective, these parents seem very extreme in their abusive behaviour - and they are - but when you're a child who has always been treated that way, you're sort of "used to it", so you can't see the situation very clearly. I left as soon as I was 18, because I knew I was going to die in my parental house if I didn't escape, but at the same time, I didn't realise I was being abused. My father never hit me. So... why was I feeling so horrible?
It was only when I was like 25 that I said out loud for the first time that I had been abused. I still find it hard to say, because I'm terrified that people will say that that was not "real" abuse. It's so insidious, because it's "just words", but it does a tremendous amount of damage still.
I think that's why it's important that people who are in that situation get a chance to see someone else being abused that way and realise that it is really that bad. I thought that maybe there was something wrong with me for feeling so terrible, because I couldn't take a step back to look at the situation until years after I left it. I was scared that I was just being overdramatic for a long time. I don't wish that upon anyone else.
@@ninawth Psychological Abuse is _still abuse._ Your experiences are Valid. Your emotions are Valid. Your suffering is Valid and you Are Entitled to Heal.
I now have a question. What is the opposite of the name Karen? In terms of being a pure gold hearted person?
@@shadowking278 wouldn’t it be a Good Samaritan or something?
I honestly don't know why so many parents just take away or even throw away their childrens stuff. As someone who has their phone taken away when we don't do something like clean our room or go showering it annoys me so much. Especially because it affects me extremely even after they stop actively doing it. We are now unable to leave any of our more loved things (like our comfort objects) anywhere close to someone or in a place someone could come into when we're gone, even if we're just gone for like a few minutes. It's terrible because we obviously can't take our stuff everywhere we go and get very anxious over it. At this point I can barely leave my thing with people I completely trust because of it.
This video got me thinking of my mom. Sad story.
My mom, her husband and my grandmother kept saying I had attidude, kept asking basically what was wrong with me and why i counld't just listen to everything they say all the time (i was having serious mental issuse and they were noticing saying "just talk to me" when i couldnt even use words). I hated going home. Thankfully, my parents got divorced when I was young so I had my dad and step-mom to go to. Called him one night and he came to pick me up at like 10 pm, in complete tears. I spend time there for a litle longer then normal (switch off was every week). I had a session with my therapist and then was trying to go back to my moms. Get there at 6 and no one talks to me except my brother and mom (same mom, different dad, not her current husband). They had eaten without me so i was making my own food when my mom tells me i cant stay in the house unless i apologize for my actions. My dad was in a meeting but by 8 pm i was once again out of that house. Opened my x-mas presents when mom caught me packing. She told me "I think its what is best, I got closer to my mom when I moved out too." That time tho i wasnt in tears excepting that i no longer had a mom. I am 14 and this was a few months ago. I was robbed of my fucking childhood and a mother for so many reasons. For the past 4 months I have been fighting to see my 5 year old little brother. She always blames things on me. In january I was close to the house and almost had a panick attack. My brothers 5th birthday was in march and i for the first time went to go see him. She had him meet me outside because i wasnt allowed inside the house. Next month I am going to pick up some stuff. I always try to spend time with him but she forces me to have it inside the house (doing something not fun for me). It drives me mad. I seriously dont know what to do. I hate her so much.
If you actually read this for thank you and reply if you have advice.
Click videos make me smile and helps me relax at night. ❤❤❤
Dear Celina, I'm sorry this is happening to you, I can not understand your mother's actions, but they are wrong for sure.
Maybe the best would be if you could talk to your dad about it and have him as an adult speak to her, you deserve to see your little brother.
I wish you healing and love
I can't wrap my head around the fact that some parents actually see 'giving their cild food, clothing and a home' as a 'favour'. That is the child YOU CHOSE TO HAVE. They didn't want to be put in this world. You aren't a great parent just because you give them things that are basic needs!
I live with my sister, brother in law, and a roommate. My bro in law's mother threw away his things as a kid and now he has to fight major hoarding tendencies, to the point that he gets angry if we throw away something we own ourselves instead of offering to give it to him to add to his hoard. This kind of childhood can mess you up for life.
People who are able to get away from their abusive family member(s) are so brave. My step-grandfather and his kids are verbally abusive towards me and my dad verbally abused me until I was 17 and my therapist called him out. Their verbal abuse and judging attitude has caused my self worth to plummet and I now have a crippling phobia of being judged (aka really bad social anxiety). I want to cut contact with my step-grandfather and his kids but I’m scared about the backlash from my family.
It's incredibly hard, and I always question whether or not I'm doing the right thing. But there is so much to be gained from taking that step. I don't know your family, but generally the rule is that if people are going to back an abuser you don't need them in your life either. Those same people will belittle you themselves in similar situations if only given the opportunity. If they don't have your back in something as serious as this, then they never truly will about other things. And you don't deserve having to go through life fearing people who don't care about you, even if they are family. Think of it this way: if you had friends around you saying these things to you, would you keep them around? Why should family be any different? At the end of the day, family, friend, or stranger, they are still a singular person who treats others poorly. Yes, you will probably have backlash, but as soon as people take sides or don't care enough to bother you then know who you can actually trust within your family (or friends) with the small problems and the big ones. It's heartbreaking to find out who these people might be that you're close to, but when you do you can finally move on to only better people who will care about you. There are a couple simple steps to get you started. Moving is one of them, even if it's just to somewhere else in your town/city and don't give out your address. The relief of knowing no one you're scared of can find you is liberating. No one can show up at your door unexpectedly and threaten you if they don't know where you are. Blocking numbers is another (or changing it altogether but that takes work depending on where you live). Then you'll stop reading the hate sent your way and get some distance to clear your head. When no one is tearing you down day after day the difference is substantial. And you're not missing anything: you already know what these people think about you and what they're going to say. It's not a guess anymore. And third, connecting with the rest of the people you love in other ways. Unfortunately everyone you know is going to find out about your hard decisions if you decide to go ahead with it. Either your father and extended family abusers there are going to complain to everyone who has ears that they are totally not bad people, or they'll pretend nothing is wrong or different at all and you're have a get out of jail free card on the backlash. As for connecting with the people who still love you after finding out, it'll be as simple as "Will my father be there at this christmas gathering? Oh I'd prefer to avoid him, so I'll just visit you at x time instead to make sure to see you during the holidays". The people that have your back will understand, and are typically thankful for being out of the crossfire themselves given the option. Of course all of this might sound straightforward and I'm not going to pretend it's as simple as 1-2-3. But I do promise, just like Click says all the time, that it does get easier eventually. My parents bred into me that same phobia. It's horrible, soul crushing, terrifying, and any other word you can think of. Not that you don't already know of course. And that's why I can assure you that there is hope. There has been a lot of times over the last few years where I squeak out something embarrassing and receive a neutral response, and I follow it up going "wait a minute, this thing about me or this thing that I think doesn't bother you?" I don't think I can describe that feeling, but this is a hard root to tear out. It can be overcome and you can live as you truly wish you could without being paralyzed over what this thing might look like to someone else.
If you do decide to do this, know that there is a big, invisible community of strangers who are behind you and wish you all the luck in the world.
I would say that you should slowly slowly eliminate contact with them. Slow enough that they don't clue in right away. Make excuses for why you can't take time off to see them, why you can't go for holidays, etc. This becomes a really good option once you have in-laws [and your in-laws are decent people], because then you have an excuse to use.
Cut it. They aren’t your family if they let the abuse happen. You don’t need abusers validation all you need is yourself
fun animal facts: orange cats all share the same brain cell
So are you saying Garfield runs a hive mind?
@@LakinMae5 r\hold up
As an orange cat mom, I can confirm. Our dude went thru the front of closed drawer, like he brute forced the particle board to pieces, because his birdie toy “sleeps” in there and he wasnt having any of it. He also ate the birdie.. he chews my crocs, always just one of the pair. My last pair is hanging high on the coatrack, but now it looks like he has figured out how to climb there. He growls at thunder, like better back down now or catch these paws, same for delivery bots he sees outside. And Im pretty sure he tries to actively kill us by running at our feet when walking, or lying behind us when we stand. He doesnt get that we dont have cat-like reflexes or eyes in the back.. He understands the word no, he just dont care. Begging for people food he has honed into an art form, especially with my in-laws, they will give him anything he wants from the fridge or their plates whenever were there. Last Eastern he ran away/got lost, we went nuts looking for him, he just casually strolled back home week later, like no biggie, I took a lil holiday. Ive had many cats, but Onni, 2, is one of a kind. Definitely.
@@janemiettinen5176 i love your cat
@@sylmaerie I will tell him that, it probably inflates his already humongous ego, but Ill tell. And heres couple more to brighten your day, I tried to think really good ones.
He gets to go out at the in-laws, so he brought once a mouse, other was bird, only problem was that they were still very much alive. You know, starling is huge when it flies indoors and has two eager cats chasing it! Both creatures got back in the nature more or less intact, thanks to my father-in-law, I could just scream-laugh while trying to avoid the zig-zagging mess. He thinks he is much bigger than his body this 5kg/10pound cat went after golden retriever and ran him (and his human) onto the next street.. They dont walk past our place anymore, FIL just heard rumors.
He also has war going on with the neighbor cats, he goes right in their yard and eggs them on.. while they have zero business in ours. Ive tried to explain to him that they are residents and he is just visiting, so be nice, but to no effect. Last xmas he got to our ham, he just casually gnawed this meat clump, that was bigger than him.. and growled at me when I went to put him back down to the floor! MIL put him back and took pictures, she thought it was the funniest crap ever. I was mortified.
Sometimes he riles himself up so thoroughly chasing invisible things, he puffs up and stays that way, like minutes. Im an artist, my studio was sacred, cat-free space before him; now I cant close the door, he will try to open it and when he realizes he cant, he yells so long I give in. Not faint meowing, but frustrated yelling, like hes ordering me to open immediately. Once inside, he looks me straight in the eyes, while flicking stuff down from the table, as saying “What if I do… THIS! How do you like them apples, huh?”. I soon learned to wear apron, even if just doing a quick retouch; my fave jeans have now paint stains, because he dropped my palette on my lap, while I wasnt watching him. He also ate really expensive and dear watercolor brush, like completely, only the ferrule had some hairs in it. I cried.
I was on important Zoom call, so he hopped behind me, like right behind my head, and started to lick his junk with gusto, I nearly died right there. Even the doctor whom I was speaking with couldnt completely hide his surprise and amusement. Squirrel got momentarily stuck in our balcony (outer wall is made of sliding glass windows, its always open just a little) and luckily got out before the mayhem melons got to it, but Onni searched for it over 6 hours, his sister gave in after two. He continued his search the next day too. He just couldnt accept defeat, he seemed sure the furry steak will appear, if he just looks hard enough..
Hes notorious food thief; look away for a second and your sandwich toppings are gone. And I swear he gloats, husband has started to notice it too, this dude is being victorious. He even took a croissant straight out of my mouth, while I was texting! He didnt eat it, he just saw an opportunity and ran with it. Since hes very territorial, he growls at anyone who gets too close to our windows, so he has growled at little kids, because why not..
Im sure I forgot something juicy, but this is pretty good description of his greatest hits. Only thing that bothers him are crowds and car rides, everything else hes ok with. My 90yo grandma has to get his latest quirks every week, his antics make her happy. He turns 3 in June, but he has stories of several lifetimes.. We love him too, but some days its just tiny bit harder than others.
Some of these parents need to learn the difference between "respect" and "worship". They say they want the first, but actually want the second.
This reminds me of when I was a teenager… it was a lot of separate issues that all compounded on each other, but this video touches on all the major ones that I experienced with my own mom; the homophobia/transphobia, the overly-controlling behavior, her obsessing over my grades, throwing away my stuff when she was mad at me, physical abuse, grounding me for existing in a way she didn’t like, the list just goes on and on. I started high school, my mom found out I was dating a girl and that I was non-binary, and all of a sudden nothing I did was ever correct. I was literally grounded for three years straight, the initial reason being that she didn’t want me to be able to talk to my girlfriend, and she was so excited when we broke up and I started dating a guy that she practically welcomed him to the family the first day we got together (I was still grounded until the day I went into foster care tho, because my grades tanked due to mental health issues that she refused to address and actively tried to make worse). And now she wonders why I only really talk to her on special occasions, and even then I keep it short and relatively surface-level.
We love parents (and people in general) who decide that they are the most important people and can do whatever they want with zero disregard for anyone else
my parents got divorced, neither of them wanted me so they sent me to live with my boyfriend at the age of 16 and then my dad burnt all of my stuff. now they are so confused why i live states away and don't talk to either.
I have a whole history of child abuse and neglect but I genuinely think the worst is when my mom would leave me, a three year old child, completely unattended. Sometimes she would have her apartment neighbors watch me and would be gone from home *for hours*. It got to the point where I was alone and I cracked my skull on the sharp edge of our coffee table and nearly bled to death and was only able to get medical attention because a stranger heard me sobbing. You can bet your butt I am going to tell her (when I actually feel strong enough that I can set emotional boundaries QvQ) that I don't owe her anything!
I’ve been falling into deeper and deeper depression since coming out and being denied my own fking identity, but something about this video made me feel seen and appreciated, tysm for this video, I really needed it ❤❤
Take care as best you can 💜 You are not alone
I’m proud of you for making the decision to come out, remember that you still have a whole community out here for you with open arms! Biggest advice I have is, blood is thicker than water, the blood of the coven is thicker than the water of the womb aka the family you choose is stronger than the family you were born into.
If you’re a minor who came out please stay safe I know from my own experience and my brothers how dangerous and scary it can be but you are so much stronger than you know! We believe in you!
35:58
Father: “YOU’RE GROUNDED!”
Doughter: “Dad, you already grounded me”
Father: “SUCH ATTITUDE! YOU’RE GROUNDED!”
The past few weeks I had found a lump, I’ve gone to get it checked out, blood tests, ultrasounds. And the first thing I worried about was overreacting; that people would think less of me if it turns out to be nothing. But it has been nonstop support because the scariest option is always possible.
I did that about a month ago. Ended up being nothing and I have a wicked scar to show for it, but I'm still glad I got it done. Here's hoping yours is nothing too.
19:03 when I was young and we didn't want to clean up our parents basicly threatened to do the same. Take all our stuff and throw it out. When we didn't clean up they packed everything up and looked it away for about a week. We were kids, it felt like forever, we learned the lesson and got all our toys back because our parents weren't monsters. Taking your kids toys away for some time is more than enough to drive the point home.
Edit: Just to add, we knew our things weren't gone. It was made very clear to us that it was only temporarily locked away as a punishment and that we would get it back. Because communicating with your child actually works.
15:25 avoiding arrows coming from straight above? Does he expect to be attacked by fairies? The greek gods having an archery competition? Some guy with a drone and an auto-crossbow?
I feel bad for parents. My mom's idea to bag and put our toys in the trash (but never actually let it be taken) contributed to my lifetime issues with hoarding. She had no idea that would go so badly. She heard me tell this lately and was also upset. She apologized, and I accepted happily. Just acknowledging it was a bad idea really helped.
It just occurred to me that part of the reason I love The Click so much is that he's basically a cursed Mister Rogers. Thank you for always brightening my day, sir.
the stuff from 19:30 is why i have trust issues with ppl being in my house. My mom didn't stop with this when i was a kid either. As a disabled adult i've had her help me clean my house and she threw out my tank tops i wear to sleep in bc "they are to small and revealing" and every skirt i owned bc she thought they were to small for me and one was "ratty" it was literally a hippy skirt i wore for halloween. I never let her or anyone help me clean anymore bc of the fear someone will take my stuff or throw it out so my house is an eternal mess
I'm sorry for you
I recall hearing a story from a friend of mine, where her Ex GF lived in a household with such restrictive rules and regulations enforced by the father. He held so much control over her to the point that she could not do anything without telling him, or even bring anyone to their house, with only very few acceptions. She was basically almost done high school at this point. It got to the point her mom had to cover for her when ever she went out sometimes. Given this guy is in military from what I'm told, it also makes it seem more dangerous to challenge him.
I wish everyone who is still stuck in these households freedom & healing. Nobody truly understands how difficult it is to recover from this unless they've lived it.
Please remember that you are not inherently bad. You are not biologically wired to be a bad person. You are doing the best you can while being raised by people actively trying to sabotage you. That is an EXTREMELY difficult thing to do. Stay save & know you are loved, even if only by strangers watching you heal from afar.
I have an extra layer of “being a horrible person is not genetic.”
Because I’m adopted by two anti LGBTQ people. The only difference between the two is that my dad actually accepts that Covid is apart of our lives and will happily get vaccinated.
Kid/teen: *tries to explain their side like a rational person*
Parent: ATTITUDE! GROUNDED!
4:11 if that man thinks the boots being a few centimeters away from the wall is messy then he would either have a seizure, hemorrhage, or heart attack, or pretend it to develop lung cancer if he saw my room
The story at 18:30 - I am currently surrounded by most of my stuff. I unfortunately landed back at my parents’ house, and growing up, if it was in my dad’s way or he didn’t deem it useful, it was chucked. Between that, and then losing most of my stuff due to an ex (don’t share a storage unit, just don’t), I now HAVE to have ALL of my stuff where I can either see it, or know it’ll be safe (my car, my own storage unit, or a trunk in the basement that’s too heavy to move). It’s a complete disaster in here, and I recognize that and own it. But it’s due to mental illness and trauma, not laziness like some people think.
(Don’t do this to your kids. It’s not going to have the effect you might think.)
My mum has always been supportive of me she would help me with collections throughout my childhood and knows that I'm into anime. As soon as she saw my interest interest in art, she would give me art supplies since I come from a creative family on both sides of my parents. My mums upbringing was toxic, so she didn't want to repeat the same actions her mother did with my sister and I. Sure, we have a few arguments but that's very rare.
“alpha baby” is actually such a funny term 😭
I really want to know what makes a baby an alpha according to them 😂🤔
@@areswalker5647 perhaps they were born in Gen Alpha 🥁 badum tss
@@areswalker5647 people in these comments just jealous that their kids aren’t making 6 digits every year, have 3 sources of passive income, and got all of the 2 year old hoes. L behavior fr fr /s
Same energy as "Boss Baby"
I grew up in foster care, so I wasn't able to see my Mom often. On my 8th birthday, she had bought me a calico cat stuffed animal. I named her Patches, and she was my most cherished possession *ever,* my comfort item.
And by the time I was 14, my Aunt had threw her frikkin away. I am 28 now and the memory still brings me immense rage to the point I see red, even when it happens to other people. I'll NEVER forgive my Aunt and she can have fun with me not going to her funeral. 😡🤬😤
I don't let ANYONE I don't trust touch my stuff without my permission, and I don't trust a lot of people. Even just people helping me to move is anxiety inducing.
*Don't touch my frikkin stuff.* 🤬😡
I swear aunts are either really cool or the bane of your existence
@@emh.170 Yes. Good thing I have two other, really cool Aunts that I love 😎
Oh no...that's awful! Who does that?!
I'm grown now but as a teen I put some of my favorite, well kept, plushies up in the closet at my mom's house for safe keeping. My niece got to them and had clearly been playing with them, and my mom just said, "Well, you left them here so long; what does it matter?!" I about lost it. I wish I'd have been thinking clearly enough to say, "Oh? Well we better call the bank about 'your' savings then!" I got upset just reliving that. I'm on the spectrum with anxiety and do NOT like people in my room or touching my stuff. Also, big collection of plushies. In my late 30s and give zero fricks if that's "normal." It's not that I was upset with my niece, but the total lack of respect my mom had and has for me upsets me. Respecting other people's stuff is so basic, and if you're not watching your grandkid while they're in your house, then you tell them what they can't touch and where they can't go! Jesus even a 7 yr old understands no, but she never said no to my sister either, so I dunno what I expect. That was a few yrs ago and my niece is getting past playing with plushies now, so they just sit out at Mom's house. Compromise, I guess.
My advice? Even if it's not the one you were given by your mom, if you have the means, replace the one you lost. Whisper its name to it and tell it that it now carries the emotions and memories of its predecessor. Will it be the same? No, but I've found it helpful for replacing items with strong sentimental value. ❤
@@Just1Nora 1. FRICK YOUR MOM FOR DOING THAT, OMG!!! THE AUDACITY!
And 2. I could never, ever replace Patches. She was basically like a living, sentient individual to me since I believe certain physical items all have a soul. And she was the leader of my first stuffed animal group. I could never replace her, God forbid give some other stuffed animal her name! 😱 Sacrilege! XD
Tbf tho, Patches had a daughter, a smaller stuffed calico cat I had named Stitch. Lost Stitch and my first stuffed animal group to my Aunt too.
However, not long ago while playing Minecraft to RP one of my stories with friends, I had actually been inspired to name this calico MC cat I found in the game, and incorporated it into my story. I decided that, maybe, if I hold on to the tradition hard enough, I could have this new calico cat be what Stitch's son would be. So he would be Patches' grandson. Enough years have certainly passed for that. I also wanted to have the names remain associated with fabric and such, like with Patches and Stitch. So I chose to name this new cat Weaves. All that's left really is to possibly find a vessel for him irl, a new calico stuffed animal.
Still a bit hesitant cuz it's a sensitive decision for me, but it does bring me even just a bit of hope and comfort. Gonna stop typing now before I start tearing up. ^^'
Ty for hearing and understanding my experience tho. It's really comforting and validating.
People need to understand that if something belongs to somebody, don't just throw it out. I don't care what it is, ask their permission. I don't understand why people can't get that through their heads
“Cruelty is the opposite of love, not just some inarticulate version of it.” - Edward St. Aubyn
These parents aren´t loving their children in a twisted way, they are being horrible just because they can.
the limp story reminded me of something that happened with my own mother, though i was slightly older (15-16, if i recall correctly). we have a tradition in my country where some ppl go out and play the drums. i am very sensitive to noise, it makes me very uncomfortable and go through heavy panic attacks if exposed for a very long time
knowing that, my mom made me go, because "you can't stay all day inside!". at first, it was fine, but then i started feeling... quite bad, i could barely stand up, i was dizzy, and overwhelmed. i told my mom, and she told me to stop being dramatic. her boyfriend agreed. later that night, i couldn't sleep. i told my mother to take me to the hospital, since my ears hurt a lot. of course, she told me to brush it off and try to sleep.
finally, i managed to convince her to take me the following day. you wouldn't guess what happened! my eardrum FUCKING BROKE and, i don't know if it was genuine or not, but my mom acted as if she had no idea why that could've happened to me. the doctor also said that the pain could've been alleviated IF NOT COMPLETELY AVOIDED if i was able to leave when i started feeling bad.
thankfully nothing long-term happened, but i do get ear pain sometimes... though my mother forgot it happened at all.
The axe forgets, the tree remembers
Discreetly put some headphones on her when she’s in a deep sleep. Then. Play the most loud ear splitting sound known to man kind. Then when she goes to get it checked out. Say that you had no idea that would do that to her. Because what goes around comes around one million fold.
I have sensitive everything. So I understand not being comfortable with noise. But a normal responsible adult would immediately get their kids out of there if they are even the least bit uncomfortable. I hope that doctor rips her multiple new ones. You could have very well lost your hearing.
You can tell this hits pretty close to home for me.
Also that top part of my comment is not to be taken seriously. She may have almost caused you hearing damage. But turning around and doing it to her worse is not right. I have a better idea. Tell the entire extended family. And ask them to never let her live it down. Make sure she knows that she could have hurt you for years. Even if you moved out. Keep reminding her that she hurt you. And watch the fun begin.
@@shadowking278 thank you for your comment
18:10 Not only do good parents not brag about it. Good parents know that perfection is such a pipe dream they will at most admit to being decent.
Nice to see The Clicks mom gets a part on his channel as well
I swear I get new childhood memories long-suppressed unlocked every time I see your InsaneParents vids - and your wholesome counters and pointing out what's wrong feel like just the kind of voice inner kid me needs to hear to reframe things and heal. This year, it was reframing the reality of what my abusive mother's ill-conceived "real estate venture" during the market crash of '08 left me with: a hate of housecleaning. Because she treated me like a literal cleaning lady when I was 8-14. I don't remember how long I cleaned for, but it would have been at least 4 hours multiple times a week.
I never got paid. I just got yelled at. I was expected to stay with her all day if I wasn't in school, to help her. Unpaid.
Now that I have my own place and I've been NC with her, I'm finding I actually really enjoy cleaning and keeping my own place clean. I see it reflecting my improving mental health, as well - and it makes sense to me now why my mother's office has been a literal tinderbox of old papers and hoarded things for my whole life. I'm glad to say I think I'm one step further away from an irrational fear of somehow "ending up just like my mother".
Thanks for helping me break the cycle, The Click.
Every time i see an r/ insane parents feature, i call my parents and tell them how lucky i am to have been raised in a loving non-insane household. Some of these stories just break my heart.
As someone who grew up with an abusive mother and have full intent to move out ASAP now that I'm 21, I'm really really happy you got to have a really great relationship your parents, haha. That is very sweet to thank them for being great every time you see it. I hope all goes well with them forever more!
just in time for my lunch break ❤ also i love this subreddit because it's both relatable, oddly comforting, and a good reminder that i shouldn't be putting up with bullshit just because i share DNA with someone lmao
edit: BREAKING NEWS!!! THIS JUST IN!
you do not owe anyone respect if they do not offer you the same respect in return, regardless of who they are, parents or otherwise.
edit the second: cool it removed clicks like because i edited the comment lmao rip
I read the BREAKING NEWS!!!!!! like the live action fish from SpongeBob
Im sorry you lost your heart/like after the edit, here you can take this one: ❤!
You can take mine too:❤
And this one :❤
Yayy, you got more hearts!! Good job people!
that thing about taking a kid to a doctor hits way too personally.
21:49 Man, he just wanted his son/daughter to be able to feel like the characters in DUNE
with the thing for not getting checked up, it's really important too because i had these little spacing-out episodes every day and my parents just thought it was me ignoring them until my friend told me it might be seizures. they took me to a neuropsychologist and i ended up being diagnosed with epilepsy
Every child deserves parents, not every parent deserves a child/children. This holds so true.
Ah yes, another episode of:
Reliving trauma with The Click.
I love the clicks intros. This entry was one of the hilarious things I have seen today. They click in Cosplay interacting with his normal self speaking to himself, is having me cry with tears.😂
2:54 Boomer is a state of mind, clearly. It’s like a cursed heirloom.
I've done vague venting 😂 Thought it'd be a good way to trick my narc mom into actually listening to me, for a change. Also, a great way to know if someone has breached your boundaries, spying on you after you blocked them. Just like reading someone else's journal. You can't get mad over what you find in there. You weren't supposed to be digging in there, in the first place.
Before Covid started I had this nasty sinus infection one summer that TKO'ed me for like 2 weeks. The following summer I started noticing a bunch of the same early symptoms I had with the sinus infection the year before so I went to get a culture swabbing done. When I told the doctor why I was there before she did the swab her reaction was "you're good man" (she was this elderly British lady) and then went on to explain how since she started practicing in Canada she is shocked how many people still wait until there a major issue before seeking medical attention even with Universal Health Care.
6:50 I can do you one better: it would be absolutely justified to show those texts to the police (or at least some youth help program). This is a clear threat of violence and at least in my country you could be sued and sentenced to reperations for that.
In any way, if you receive messages like that and there's a non-zero chance they'll actually walk the walk, you should get professional help involved. If you're scared to go home because of domestic violence/abuse, don't go home, go get help!
In the last one the father was more "on his period" than his daughter
I love very unstable men telling how the women are supposed to be unstable, it's the essence of the manosphere.
0:29, you can't ground me, I quit.
You can’t quit I’m grounding you!
You can't quit, I quit.
I have ADHD. I constantly forgot to clean my room as a child and my mom’s solution to “teach me to remember” was to take everything that was out in my room and give it to Goodwill. I now have huge issues when it comes to my possessions because of this and am constantly having to fight with myself about it in order to not become a hoarder.
Please don’t do this to your child. I still didn’t remember to clean my room because ADHD doesn’t work that way. It doesn’t fix the problem, it just causes more issues down the line.
I've seen so many similar messages! It doesn't make me happy, but I feel validated at least. If any parent was looking to prevent this, then all they have to do is see us admitting our trauma turned us hoarders. Yay. 😐
That one mom really be like "You can't be sick if I literally beat the life out of you." Like it's acceptable behavior.