@@AnglandAlamehnaSwedish Depends what you mean by having hope. In the end, nothing any human being does will have a lasting impact. The universe will suffer a cold death in the end, regardless of what I/we do. You might say the situation is hopeless. But that doesn't mean that peace on earth and goodwill to all men / women can't happen. So I do believe there is hope in terms of outcomes that matter. I hope the world learns to embrace peace. In the end, I think it will.
Can anyone really know themselves and the consequences of everything they have done and are capable of doing, the good and the bad? Sure "know thy self" but how do we know it's not just an illusion, or another lie? and once we settle on who we supposedly are at the moment do we just hold on to that even as time passes and we change into different people? We know ourselves through our relationships with other people, we can't do it alone in a vacuum. Good video, best one in a while 👍
It may not be the kind of support you're after from us, but it's the kind of support we are here to give... a serendipitously timed video response expanding on your piece and its implications for humanity. ua-cam.com/video/YiCO6O7QuB8/v-deo.html (
Good reply. The biggest dystopia unleashed today has been the result of the world ignoring the action plan from the Year 2000 International Year for the Culture of Peace, which is well worth learning about from UNESCO's archives. If NATO had become a sponsor of this vital alternative, we could have put the Military-Industrial complex in a more contained status, instead of allowing it to ruin dozens of nations over the past 24 years. @@audiodead7302
“Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.” ― Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov
i know someone like this, he even unconciously hate truth, cause he remind him how far from it he is, and he laugh cope and spit and joke on it. living in his matrix. he cope laugh maybe 20-50 time per day its unreal. aha... then funny low level humor to pretend he heard nothing about a specific truth he could ajust but dont care, and dont even care to see as truth even if he decide to not change, or cant change. he prefer just completly ignore hundreads of truth per week. facinating character.
This quote is uber important. Curious enough I found about it years ago precisely in a video on this channel, it was about “self deception”. Cheers brothers. Don’t lie to yourselves, cause I won’t.!!
This is so spot on. Self-deception also is a big part of denial when you have an addiction. Until you can be completely honest with yourself, you can't break an addiction.
The 1st step is often the most difficult. To admit that 'I am powerless over the addictive object' is a monumental concept. And if that [addictive object] is a person, or personality..... a cult-like limerence will take control
The haunting aspect is that once you start lying to yourself like that, your capability to literally perceive reality diminishes, and you truly start living in a separate world... "your" world 😢 It is a very scary thought... so let us be forgiving, not so to forget, but so we can still share a world with each other❤
"Know thyself" was written in the Temp of Delphi. Translated, it has the context "temper thyself". You cannot know yourself unless you get to a state of self control and reflection. Otherwise you are deceived by your emotions, addictions, and desires.
Reflection is key. And courage is tempered by equivalent mastery over fear. Sadly, very few humans can say that they've spent any legitimate energies into either discipline. :/
@@Novastar.SaberCombat you cannot temper yourself without self reflection. I read that in Sanskrit, the word meditation meant measure. And you cannot measure something when you are moving. Not accurately. You are not still, you cannot reflect. It is becoming more and more difficult and more rare that people are still
@@honeypotusername it's not easy. Id say one of the first things is not to change yourself but to get to know yourself and even accept yourself for what and how you are. Part of it for me is quiet time. A long walk with no music of time to be still and alone. I don't do it enough consistently - but journaling has helped me tremendously. I'm sanksrit, meditation was a word meaning take measure. You're not avoiding thinking, but in a way just trying to be still still and see what comes up. Think about measuring curtains - could you do it accurately if you're not still? So I believe you can't take measure of yourself and be honest with yourself if you're not still. There's also something to be said about breathing and breathing exercises. We know that your parasympathetic nervous system can be triggered through breathing deeply and slowly through your nose. It helps your body. But you can also exercise and use this to interrupt things that have become habit - like getting frustrated or mad. Take a breath. Take a moment and try not to just react. But even while meditating, slowing your breathing can help give you something to focus on and there are many apps The word discipline is rooted in the word disciple. To be a disciple is to learn. In some ways, bring disciplined in any area will add up. Whether it's your diet, exercise, your temper, etc. but you also cant beat yourself up. Last year I started a daily journal that was very helpful. Check it out. It's "the daily stoic" by Ryan holiday. He has a lot of good books that are stoic themed - like stillness is key or ego is the enemy. It was ok kindle for $2 (the daily meditation journal) and only about $16 to buy the hard copy. I found a lot of insight and good advice and used it regularly several months. I am trying to start it again this year consistently.
@@honeypotusername everyone is different. I mean i find doing compass work helps keep me disciplined and helps with stress. Stuff like this. Anything to practice discipline, self reflection and balance are good imho youtube.com/@thecirclemadeeverything?si=eNCRxbZ9mhRmeDgJ
I've never felt so understood. I used to lie to myself and my life spun out of control. Now I am brutally honest with myself and speak my truth even when it's hard and hurts. I've had to let people go because they couldn't be transparent with me and I found myself getting frustrated with them which wasn't good for either of us. It's not an easy road and sometimes it's downright lonely, but I can't go backwards.
Yup. After 30+ years of being essentially 99% honest, legit, factual, and data-driven about who and what I am, and also regarding what I believe... OMG, people *loathe* me for it. Not all, but most. They simply can't take it, because... let's face it... beliefs and feelings outweigh facts and logic for most idiots on this planet. And when you don't accept their falsehoods, holy sheet do they become ANGRY. Unsurprisingly, irrationally, catastrophically angry. But that's a THEM thing, not a me thing.
The funny thing is that once we become brutally honest towards ourselves, we start pushing OTHER people who lie to themselves-or to us-out. Might not seem logical at first glance.
The truth is, life is suffering and it’s sucks a lot of times. It’s good sometimes but is hard most of the time. And we don’t like that. So we lie and say it’s better than it is so we can cope. But the more you come to the realization, understanding and resignation that life is suffering, the less you may suffer.
Life doesn't have to be experienced as suffering, this only occurs from a certain perspective. Change your perspective ,and suffering ends. This is not to say nothing bad will ever happen in your life,but with the right perspective you don't suffer it. When one door closes,another door often opens, are you still in front of the closed door? Or are you already walking through the open one?
Hi FromDtoD. Don’t fight your war: call a truce, then form a peace conference, followed by a lasting treaty allowing stability and development. If you’re bored later, form a larger mental coalitions, perhaps leading to a voluntary empire of the self. [I haven’t thought of internal peace conferences and treaties as analogies for psychological therapy. How fun. Thanks. Cheers.]
People can improve, can make themselves better, but the only true answer for the human condition is The Lord Jesus Christ, who is God Incarnate. Please, read The Gospel of John.
@@bobtaylor170 Hi Bob. I’ve read a couple of different versions of Christian bibles, cover to cover, as well as a number of foundational books from other religions. I have also perused a hexapla, which I recommend for Christians. I appreciate that Jesus tried to form a non-revenge based sect of Judaism, which was rejected during his lifetime, and later accepted by Western Europe, at least for a while. But your assertion that (presumably) your religion is the only true answer is common as a central theme of many religions, and of many different sects within religions. [Note the many sects of Christianity, each insisting they are the correct version of the religion. Muslims have the same issues with different version (sects) of their religion.] Bob, there are many versions of you around the world, each insisting that his version of his religion is the only possible truth. I hope that each of you turns out to be correct, and that each of you goes to heaven, or paradise, or Valhalla, or nirvana, or whatever eternal reward your religion espouses. I hope your religion turns out to be one that is actually true. Cheers.
To realize whether we lie to ourselves or not; let's look close to our current existence. Have we ever gotten what we truly wanted? Do I really have friends whom I can trust? Do I feel thankful for what I have so far? , and most importantly, Am I satisfied with my life?
@@aminabdullah350 Concerning the matter that if we've ever gotten what we wanted; I meant if we ever had the courage to pursue our true interests. Average people roam through life without knowing what they really want. They just dream of making a lot of money, or become CEOs for some company, or they imagine being in the spotlight due to their charms. In other words they have such grandeur dreams, but they either have little or no courage to pursue them. My point is that whatever our true dreams are; we might be determined to go for them. We have to make them happen. On the other hand, all who are satisfied with their current life; they are not spiritually deficient; at least, I think so. On the contrary, I respect those who have known how to overcome all kinds of obstacles in order to become who they currently are as well as to learn from them how may it be possible to have such a fruitful life by following one's true passion. Only 1% of worldwide people follow their passion which makes them happy. The rest of the people are stuck in a 9 to 5 job without realizing what they could do with their lives. It's true that we have up's and down's emotions, but it's also up to us how to manage them in order to reach such a balance which makes us remain standing in spite of all adversities. Besides those who are spiritually evolved do not feel homesick. On the contrary, that "homesick" feeling is such an emotional cocktail in which they're getting in touch with their abstract surroundings such as sorrow, rage, envy, sadness, disappointment, fear, yearning, hope, enthusiasm, love, compassion, etc. It represents the basis stage of spiritual development. Nevertheless, it does not end up there, but continues to fluctuate upwards according to our inner disposition. A true spiritual individual knows how to remain balanced between his Eros and Thanatos self. In order to examine our current existence; we should look pretty close to our current present. Do we really appreciate what we have done with our life so far?
It depends. Accepting that you're a flawed person who can't be perfect and will make mistakes is a good way to grow and change the things you can. Accepting personality flaws and bad behavior instead of changing them is counter productive and leads to cognitive dissonance.
Reminds me of a couple Twain quotes. “There’s three sides to every story,yours,theirs and the truth.” “If you tell the truth,you don’t have to remember anything.” Learning to be honest with oneself is challenging but necessary in finding purpose and fulfillment.
Yeah listen to @aperinich This video isnt universally applied to all people. Its mostly applied to people with NPDs and BPDs. Normal person wont lie to themselves. They might be in period of misunderstanding their situation but eventually they learn and grow. Only the aforementioned people dont ever learn and continuously lie to themselves. I am in shitty job currently, I dont think I better then it or deserve better. I just dont like it and will look for other one. If I dont find a better situation in my life I will accept the limitations and faults of myself and society which cannot provide everybody with what they want and will accordingly. This is how normal people perceive themselves and the world. Only people with those disorders act entitled.
Thanks, I appreciate you giving context. Neurodysfunction, neuro"diversity", injury, trauma, etc can all result in a pretty poor cognitive experience for even the most well-heeled self-interrogators...@@outlander234 :)
You also should check this channel video called “the psychology of self deception” it’s brutally specific about human condition too, but as the reply above said, is mostly about NPD or so…
Encountered this very question when I was 18, after realizing most people are literally lying to themselves and not accepting the full truth of something. After a few sleepless nights of contemplating the pros and cons of both sides, I come to similar conclusion as this video. This video took it much further though, much more in depth. One of the best living philosophy channels out there
Lying to yourself and others is the norm. 80 percent of people don't want truth, honesty or freedom. They deeply desire to be told what to think and what to do. It's an evolved genetic trait and it's been this way for thousands of years. Well that's my understanding.
Ah yes, the NPC gene. It sure seems that way huh? Chieftans and monarchs would squash dissent and competition so regularly that those predisposed to staying in their lane would survive long enough to reproduce. But some of us fuck and fuck and fuck long before we stand up to expose our necks to the ruling class (think William Wallace, or Jesus Christ. They fucked, trust me bro). The fighting spirit, one of honor and self-sacrifice still exists in the gene pool, but lays dormant in many.
That may be true for some, but I think most people just want security and stability, and they'll easily forego things like truth or freedom if it means achieving these ends. The world is complex, and people take mental shortcuts to make understanding of it, even if it means believing in falsities. And why not? If knowing 2+2=4 leaves you dissatisfied, but believing 2+2=5 brings you happiness, why choose the former over the latter?
Some don't have the cognitive ability to practice individuation, their genetic traits are limited. they're simply a product of evolution without any conscious autonomy psychologically.
@@cameron9292 the world isn't complex, nor are humans. people would 100% send us back 1000 years if they told themselves that back then times where better (there are people who think this way). all goals of life are attached to selfishness, the desire to do something. all living things behave in this manner, humans included. they will always do what they think is best, even if what they believe isn't true and/or helpful in any capacity. the only constant with the human race is selfish desire and self-destruction. people get complacent, shit hits the fan, people rise up, people calm down and the cycle repeats.....never learning, never adapting.
This is some deep insight. Years ago I was in a very tough spot in my life and everything fell on my shoulders to handle the situation. With others relying on me and the pressure mounting knowing failure was not an option I fell into a profound period of depersonalization. I lied to myself so much that I went from feeling like I was watching myself in the third person to forgetting months of my life permanently. Those days are just gone and years later I can not recall anything from that timeframe. I find it perplexing that such a maladaptive coping mechanism propelled me to achieve what I thought was impossible in a stable state of mind. I feel if I took everything head on at that point in my life I would have imploded. After that experience I vow to never lie to myself to that extent again because the consequence may just be a permanent mechanical state in which everything that makes you a human being is gone. I am grateful to have escaped.
This is why I tell people, that lying to me is one thing, but lying to yourself is the greatest disservice one can do. "Too much information" is never a bad thing. What, someone is gunna get pissed off for you being honest? Their loss and further reinforces their lack of character compared to your own.
Oh, people will DEFINITELY become pissed off at you for being honest! Absolutely. And that's even if you are doing so professionally, ethically, cordially, and with care in mind. People will go absolutely APESHIP on you if you hit 'em with facts. Also, never mind if you do it with intelligence, wit, snark, and style, too; OMG, that will get you mocked, stalked, blocked, trolled, cajoled, and cancelled! LOL 🤣
"too much information" can definitely be a bad thing. Being honest with ourselves is great but you don't owe anyone confessions. There are times when lying to others and/or omitting certain details is definitely a positive thing for everyone involved. There's a lot of nuance and complexity around this "absolute honesty" topic that is almost never discussed because it's easier to throw away logic/reason, play ignorant, give into our own ego and narcissism, and decide everything is black and white.
@derickchristensen3219 Trump definitely improved my life when he was president. I'm not American, but seeing him just say the weirdest shit was always funny.
This is all so true. In the past we've endeavored as a society to educate people in a way that allows us to recognize our own cognitive dissonance, our own flawed rationalizations. That is difficult, even in people who's self-awareness has been cultivated. But we've taken a turn in the opposite direction. Now people are taught to ignore the illogic of cognitive dissonance. In fact we're taught to embrace it under the premise that feeling good about something makes it right. This isn't a new concept, one of the battle cries of the 1960s was "If it feels good, do it". But now people are actually taught this as a part of formal education. It's the mashup of Orwell's "newspeak" with "doublethink", the latter being the willful, conscious practice of cognitive dissonance. First you convince people that "hate speech is violence". Everyone knows that hurting someone's feelings doesn't equate to hitting them with a baseball bat. Then, after that concept has taken root add "Anyone who speaks out against [fill in the blank] is committing hate speech". When the dissonance occurs at a personal level, the most psychological harm is to the individual and, fair enough, that can spill over into various kinds of relationships and affect others within proximity. But when it's fed to young people as a virtuous, guiding precept for life, it entraps society, or large portions of it, into a pattern of self-deceit. The majority of what we consider clinical mental illness is based in some form of self-deceit, acknowledging there can be organic roots. But promoting self-deception as a virtue will have untold consequences at the societal level. It has crept, from the top down, from the Utopian think tanks, to academia, to higher education, and now public school. Even as early as daycare. Directed denial like this can only be thwarted when people come to realize that the misery they're feeling, that they've been told to blame on the supposed maliciousness of humans and society, is actually self-inflicted by living a life based on a religious adherence to unresolvable conflict between pretense and reality.
Thanks for this video. I think on the flip side a lot of people have a distorted view of themselves based on how negative they feel others perceive them. For instance, some mean kid could call you ugly in grade school and you then tell yourself you’re ugly for the rest of your life. Then someone else calls you stupid, and then you see yourself as stupid the rest of your life, then someone calls you effeminate, and so you believe yourself to be effeminate. By the time you’re middle age you believe yourself to be an ugly, stupid, effeminate loser and a screw up, and so you continue to play that role, believing that other people are right about you in order to avoid being put back in your proper place and being hurt. At 48, I have done a lot of that in my life. I’ve gotten better with this, but some times I still fall in the same trap. I’ve avoided a lot of hatred and competition from others by playing this game, but I’ve also never been fully able to reach my potential and serve others the way I should by using my God given gifts either. I tell myself other people wouldn’t allow it because they perceive me as incompetent and weird. This too is a lie, I guess, but then there’s always someone out there putting me down again to make me feel like I truly am a weirdo and a loser. What is the solution? The only thing I could think of is prayer each day for God to protect me from lies, but also for me to accept things that actually are true, and for the discernment to be able to distinguish this. ❤
Sometimes is is hard to know whether you over or underestimate yourself because the people around you either aren't thinking straight themselves or else they have an agenda. Society now is exceptionally deluded. People think they can change the space time continuum with binaural beats.
Great Video about a really difficult topic. I can understand the necessity to be honest to yourself and take responsibility to improve your life. On the other hand being deceived or mistreated can lead you to question your perception and maybe taking on to much responsibilty for Bad things that happened (to you). This Video gave me the Impression that this philosophy can also backfire if you are prone to deny that shit happened to you, leading to your carrying to much responsibility in the Process.
Responsibility is power. When you take responsibility for everything in your life, including the sins of others against you, then you have the power to expunge them. You can forgive yourself, do better next time and move on with your life starting today! And nobody in the world can stoo you. But if you leave the blame on others, then you can get stuck waiting forever for justice that will never come. And you risk developing a victim mentality that can erode your self esteem and handicap your future endeavors.
The part about aggressors blaming their victims so that they can feel better about themselves is so very real... still remember someone telling me "if a murderer shows up, they did a bad thing, but maybe the target should also learn to be more careful" yea screw that lol
I think the most amazing lie is our ability to lie to ourselves and tell ourselves that shitty times in our past were actually good and we want to go back to those...
This is what I need right now, I need to make an important decision. I can’t continue this relationship I built, I never loved her I need to tell her to move on in this journey of life.
One of the realizations on the road to recovery from alcoholism is the realization how much the alcoholic lies, whether to others and/or himself. I see this over and over again at my Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. Those who realize and admit to this are making strides. As you may know, one of the important Twelve Steps is admitting, when possible, to those you've harmed that you did so. Usually lying is a component of that harm.
I loved the phrase "We should limit the degree to which we lie to ourselves." I couldn't agree more! The so-called "always" honest is impossible because your ego and mind are so deeply programmed to lie to themselves that you would have numerous occasions where you think you are honest, but you are not. In addition, if you want to live in today's society, socialize with people, and have long-term relationships, you would need to lie occasionally, but once again I do believe, that if we strive to limit ourselves as much as possible, we are destined to live a fulfilling life although there are many costs, which we as people would always try for the easier path.
Your videos come as a breath of refreshing philosophical insight into our own lives, where most of us have built mechanisms and coping strategies to manage responsibilities and inner tribulations. Self-deception is used as a convenient defence mechanism to avoid facing the reality and pushing the blame for our flaws and inconsistencies onto someone or something else. Academy of Ideas, you have led me into a room where great ideas and philosophies float around and I just wonder at the sight of such immense curiosity and knowledge.
Already hit my rock bottom 3 years ago. Yep, that is correct. Rebuilding is an arduous task. At the same time though, if I hadn't hit rock bottom, I might not have the outlook I do now, or living where I do now with the same sensibilities.
This is the number 1 channel to get people to take a look at themselves and also to question why they are following tyranny. I've tried to send many other videos, AOI has been the only thing to reach the people around me and that isn't hyperbole. This is one of the best YT Channels for the times we live in especially. It broke through to my friend during the CV shenanigans, that's huge. Share this with people who need to see it. Thanks AOI ♥️💪
For me…. It’s very important to lie to myself because of hope. Wishes and prayers are really just a far fetched lie “hope” that you have to believe to go on or take continuous actions. It’s certainly a defense mechanism, but necessary at the darkest times of your life.
Excellent Video!! Jane Austen was a master at leading her characters through the process of discovering their own faulty logic and internal lies. That is what makes her heroines so noble and memorable: Elizabeth Bennet, Emma, Marianne Dashwood and even Catherine from Northanger Abbey were all brave enough to confront their prideful natures to see the truth about themselves. I have a video on my channel about Emma and how Austen leads her to this discovery.
Childhood trauma is known to create difficulties in life. It is known as Childhood Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It is those who had good childhoods that criticizes those who have been afflicted. It is a problem for those dealing with healing (in so far as that is possible).
@@kyle-7107 More than 10 years and it is not just a western phenomenon. China, Russia...Not exactly free from lying. The whole humanity has a log in the eye.
@@judylandry302although i see what you are getting at, I think it is not fair. Previously, organized religions served to not only as a means of communal/spiritual bonding but also as an explanation of physical phenomena. So the "magic" and "miracles" of religious belief before science and secularization wasnt so much self deception or lying, rather just merely a fact of the world.
This is by far the best video on youtube.. I can't remember the last time I've watched a video 5 times back to back. Thank you so much for aggregating so much wisdom on the topic into such a small amount of time.
How timely. My mother lied to herself for decades that smoking wouldn't matter. Now here i am right now sitting in the Hospital watching her die years early beacuse of it.
I've been putting off building a work shop for a couple years because I've just been too busy working 10-17 hour days 6 -7 days a week. I'm going to take a few months off this summer and actually do it because I have to. I've come to terms that I'm a creative tinkerer and I need a place to make stuff and tinker or else I'm just going to decay and waste my youth. Also I know in my heart that this is the end times and I want to survive it and witness the end and see what happens at the start of the new cycle.
I just realized that this is one of the BIGGEST problems with modern dating. Mass gaslighting. and SO many lies. From EVERYONE. So much that I don't even talk about my sex life or dating life online.
You shouldn't be discussing your dating or sex life online anyway, regardless of whether there are any problems with it on a broader scale. Your private life should remain private.
The topic of this video is self-deception. Not the deception of others. Focusing on other's sins is a convenient psychological trick to avoid confronting your own sins.
This is one of the few generator of ideas that maintains this platform a status of any value God bless you Academy of Ideas, looking to support your endeavors through membership in the near future
Just found "Academy of Ideas" and this video was one of the most profound 14 minutes I have ever watched on UA-cam. Thank you for this. I find that the more authentic I become with friends and family the more difficult these relationships. I find myself in awkward pauses and wondering if perhaps just a small bit of "deceit" is not necessary when someone says, "What do you think about my haircut?" Honesty or self-deception?
It is, indeed. It has a great deal in common - erudition and depth - with a significantly different channel on UA-cam, Empire of the Mind. The guy who does that makes long form videos which analyze classic films from a moral/Christian point of view. It really is a remarkable channel. Also, The Catholic Culture Film podcast works much the same territory, though in multipanelist talk. ( I'm not a Catholic, though I am a Christian. ) But I'm reasonably sure that if this channel appeals to you, the others have a good chance of doing so. Isn't it wonderful that UA-cam can be used for highminded, dignified things, not just ephemera and trash?
Alot of people are void of reality and I know for a fact many need therapists to tell them how it is. Instead of understanding and being honest with themselves, they lie themselves into some type of trauma and then have to resort to a therapist
Beware of this negative content ... Too much focus on it will lead to more unhappiness and 'problems' in your life. Yes, try to be as realistic as possible, BUT then choose to focus on the positive, on the constructive, on what feels right and good. And do more of that. "Whatever we focus on, grows". Beware of the "I need to heal/shadow work" trap. 😊 Have a nice day 👋
Being honest with ourselves is not only a virtue but more importantly, it helps us to create the life we want which is built on a solid foundation, not on some BS.
John 14:6 Jesus Christ says - I am the Way the Truth and the Life, No one comes unto the Father except through Me. Romans 6:23 For the wages of Sin is death but the free gift of God is Eternal Life in Christ Jesus. Repent of thine sins, turn to God and ye shall be forgiven. Jesus is coming back soon!🥳 Jesus Christ loves you and died on the cross for YOU😁he loves you so much and is calling you to a relationship with your Father in Heaven Elohim. The devil’s time is running out and he knows it. Turn to God and step on the schemes of the devil. John 8:36 To Whom the Son(Jesus Christ) sets free is free indeed. That anxiety, depression, mania can all cease in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour. Hallelujah. That’s good news!!🎉🎉 the devil has been judged but GODS SHOWN US MERCY!!🙌🏻 Repent. Believe in the gospel. Put your faith in Jesus and ye shall be Saved!!
0:33 AmongUs be strong individual, know yourself and accepting yourself is more important, because even when you are perfect and powerful it could be deceiving, make sure you know yourself better than everybody around you, or your life will be ruined.
Thanks again for your valuable lessons.. Keep on going.. 1st make sure that's your self is your self... ( search about this topic ).. Not changed in the darkness away of the eyes with another self.. And think about the consequences of that..
Thank you for your work. I am making an effort to get such thoughtful considerations a platform amongst the people who know what I know but fail to act like they know
I'd add they dont like that and accountability. They dont want to be held accountable for their actions, as it may tarnish their reputation or expose themselves as a failure
The teaching of 'everyone is equal' helps perpetuate this, Exactly as described here, people tell themselves a story to give themselves an excuse of why they're failing in life, or for why they're not doing much better in life than they are, and for why others are doing much better than they themselves are. Jeez now messy people are told it's not their fault they're lazy , it's childhood traumas fault, because they were traumatised they can't clean, can't work, can't can't can't can't And Dr types live off this false teaching. It's disgusting what's happening, and Dr types got a licence to do it!
I see the issue a little bit elsewhere. Oftentimes its true, that current day 'laziness' can be traced to 'childhood trauma' or some other unfavourable circumstance. What is IMO an issue tho is getting stuck at "describing the problem", without looking for a solution and movement forward. That is IMO the real problem ppl get stuck at and "Dr types" often operate from. SOOOO much attention on the problem, very little on a path forward / solution.
Sometimes self deceit lies close to what we typically call, hope. At times that is the difference between resigning to our situation and pushing on. However, at some point, one cannot go further without facing the ugly truths.
Facts are not open to interpretation. "TRUTHS" can be, because they are derived *from* facts. But even then, when you have something like Eratosthenes' key measurements regarding the curvature of the planet, and yet also, you have 100k "flat Earthers"... it's pretty easy to know which hemisphere upon which one should reside. The real issue always boils down to how much WORK one is willing to do in order to seek the facts from which truths are derived. Most people are too gaedaemn LAZY, and therefore... they're subject to corrupt chicanery.
I wish my ex would watch this. I think there's a huge reason "Know thyself" was the only thing written on the temple of Delphi. Change is uncomfortable. Willpower is everything. The devil you know... Eeeee
Sadly, I am in a relationship with someone who embodies these traits. Extrication is in process. The pulling away is hard. Watching someone you love, live in this way, heartbreaking.
Don't feel too badly. 90% of all humans are pretty much lying to themselves on a daily basis. "Reflection" is just their face in a mirror, not the more spiritual version where they must confront who and what they TRULY are. And why? Simple. They don't wish to look at themselves. And no, I do not mean "physically".
You are the one decieving yourself. Your partner may be doing so as well, but you have no insight into that. The only person whose internal life you can ever know is your own. Focusing on the faults and failures of others is one of the ego's favorite methods of avoiding painful self-reflection.
@@jakeviolet2195 you don’t even know me and yet have passed judgment on my internal mental state. Your response is why I usually don’t post comments. This video was insightful and meaningful. Please don’t piss on it.
Thos is good advice, but the counter side to this is that in the example you gave of bullying they're trying to make the victim take responsibility. Blaming yourself can be a self deception to get you out of the pain of dealing with a situation you have no control over.
Just simply don't lie. Whether it's to yourself or to others. Not lying doesn't mean that you always broadcasting your thoughts, you can always choose silence or approach the question from a different angle. Just stay silent for the most part, but when you speak, speak only what is truthful and beneficial.
If your not getting tangible results from your thoughts within a reasonable amount of time after a reasonable amount of effort then it is indeed a lie.
This deals only with discursive, intentional lies to the self that then become believed as truth. It does not factor in the unconscious lies, the ones we are not aware of, the ones that actually structure our existence and allow for the other types of lies. Our memories and conceptions about ourselves and the world, all misrememberings, incorrect assumptions that we know no better about. No matter what one does, there is no escaping from them
Lying? My kids are dead. I'm not lying I know because I feel it in my heart. I didn't want to suffer for the rest of my life. My whole family is gone. I tried to report it multiple times. Many people know it. I can feel them asking for me. ❤🎉😢😊🤗
I'm opposite from most folks. I'm dishonest with myself in that I say derogatory and untrue things about me; not pretending anything good or avoiding reality, but really being hard on myself. I'm bad for this. I'm a slow learner. I really despise me for that. I learned to do this from my grandmother and father, both who hated me since the day I was born. I was forced and punished by them to sit and pretend to do homework, for example, when I didn't even understand my lessons. I'd cry and moan and there was nothing I could do and there was no one to help me, no one on my side. If I did not understand something, it meant only that I needed to be beaten and yelled at harder. I took up this behavior by myself eventually, never giving me a break. I fell behind in school in second grade and never recovered. I would have nightmares I was falling off the roof of the three story schoo building. And the more slowly I learn, the madder I get at me. I will force myself to stay awake on a project, even for days, until I get what I want. Other slow, stupid people will not push themselves hard enough to get what they want. They give up too easily. Sometimes they won't even begin. I realize am an extreme case, but the fact is most people are lazy, weak and soft and will not push themselves hard enough to get what they want. You must get hard and do your level best in spite of your limitations sometimes. You'll be surprised what you can do. My father, now well into his 80s and his dotage, will never admit he is proud of me, how I think, my self-educating, I'm a polymath, the things I create in my shop, etc., has brought him to tears at times. He can't believe what he's seeing. Not bad for a stupid kid who he despised and treated like trash and often told to go kill himself. I never entertained his suicide wish for me for even a moment. I always knew he was goofy in the head, even as a small child. Never trusted him, never liked him. Now, I just laugh and have a good time. What's he gonna do about it?! Lol.
I hate deception and lies, but this is a good reminder to not be fooled by self deception either, making sure I am not making the same mistakes as I see in others.
I’m a probation officer who is mandated to administer drug tests to drug offenders. When a test comes back positive I have to confront the person with the results and make a report to the court. The offender can make a statement about the results and that also goes into my report. It should not surprise anyone to know that I am often lied to. Some of the excuses are amazing. The first time I confronted someone with a positive test, he denied it vehemently. He was so convincing that I thought there was something wrong with the test. I am no longer fooled by such statements. Drug addiction live a lie to the point of believing their own lie.
When we don't partake of the collective conscious we see it more clearly . I read once and understood why .... That monks are excellent at lie catching. ....it's because when you involved in sin you cant see your sin nor others....collective. I appreciate the content you guys put forward . Thank you.
It’s better to live for yourself than for people who despise you and use you as their resource. It's not a question of selfishness, it's a question of pride.
Service to others isn't being exploited by others. The exception, of course, is if you really are being exploited. The only thing to do in such a situation is to get out of it. Whether you are a Christian or not, it's important to recognize Christianity's central premise, that the Lord God became a man to serve His insolent human creation.
No one can lie without knowing the truth. Otherwise, it isn't a lie. A lie can only exist as an opposition to the truth else it is merely misinformation.
Lying to yourself that you go along with the lie that your not aware of the truth but you truly are aware yet. When confronted with the facts , they say things like. That's not true or you can't prove that.
People with BPD are the best at self manipulating. And they are somehow very functional (cruel) beings in society and the people that have engaged in relationship with them (or being a child of one) are the ones that will be the damaged. There is nothing scarier than to witness the voidness of any integrity whatsoever and a bottomless void soul, packaged well behind facades. And they even try to keep the lie alive about BPD, claiming they are highly sensitive. Not being able to accept that sensitivity they have is a distorted one. And they abuse whatever sense they have.
Depends on how well you've disciplined yourself over the decades. Like all things, it takes training, practice, resources, consistency, Reflection, and plenty more.
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Is having hope lying to myself?
@@AnglandAlamehnaSwedish Depends what you mean by having hope. In the end, nothing any human being does will have a lasting impact. The universe will suffer a cold death in the end, regardless of what I/we do. You might say the situation is hopeless. But that doesn't mean that peace on earth and goodwill to all men / women can't happen. So I do believe there is hope in terms of outcomes that matter.
I hope the world learns to embrace peace. In the end, I think it will.
Can anyone really know themselves and the consequences of everything they have done and are capable of doing, the good and the bad? Sure "know thy self" but how do we know it's not just an illusion, or another lie? and once we settle on who we supposedly are at the moment do we just hold on to that even as time passes and we change into different people? We know ourselves through our relationships with other people, we can't do it alone in a vacuum.
Good video, best one in a while 👍
It may not be the kind of support you're after from us, but it's the kind of support we are here to give... a serendipitously timed video response expanding on your piece and its implications for humanity. ua-cam.com/video/YiCO6O7QuB8/v-deo.html (
Good reply. The biggest dystopia unleashed today has been the result of the world ignoring the action plan from the Year 2000 International Year for the Culture of Peace, which is well worth learning about from UNESCO's archives. If NATO had become a sponsor of this vital alternative, we could have put the Military-Industrial complex in a more contained status, instead of allowing it to ruin dozens of nations over the past 24 years. @@audiodead7302
“Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.”
― Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov
i know someone like this, he even unconciously hate truth, cause he remind him how far from it he is, and he laugh cope and spit and joke on it. living in his matrix. he cope laugh maybe 20-50 time per day its unreal. aha... then funny low level humor to pretend he heard nothing about a specific truth he could ajust but dont care, and dont even care to see as truth even if he decide to not change, or cant change. he prefer just completly ignore hundreads of truth per week.
facinating character.
That novel changed me. I am in awe of Dostoyevsky and I thank him deeply for the truth in his final great work.
lmao lying to yourself is great actually @@XeLUA-cam
This quote is uber important. Curious enough I found about it years ago precisely in a video on this channel, it was about “self deception”. Cheers brothers. Don’t lie to yourselves, cause I won’t.!!
Damm
This is so spot on. Self-deception also is a big part of denial when you have an addiction. Until you can be completely honest with yourself, you can't break an addiction.
The 1st step is often the most difficult. To admit that 'I am powerless over the addictive object' is a monumental concept. And if that [addictive object] is a person, or personality..... a cult-like limerence will take control
yup that’s when i was able to get free from my addiction
@@jentealea really good point I'd never looked at from that angle....thanks 💞
@@JSheetzArtworktrue but submitting to the statement "it's determined by genetics" is cuckery at its finest and high estrogen
If it's not a tangible addiction or affecting the individual such as narcissism they don't care to look in to it
The haunting aspect is that once you start lying to yourself like that, your capability to literally perceive reality diminishes, and you truly start living in a separate world... "your" world 😢
It is a very scary thought... so let us be forgiving, not so to forget, but so we can still share a world with each other❤
Awe that's so sweet 😊
"Know thyself" was written in the Temp of Delphi. Translated, it has the context "temper thyself". You cannot know yourself unless you get to a state of self control and reflection. Otherwise you are deceived by your emotions, addictions, and desires.
Reflection is key. And courage is tempered by equivalent mastery over fear. Sadly, very few humans can say that they've spent any legitimate energies into either discipline. :/
@@Novastar.SaberCombat you cannot temper yourself without self reflection. I read that in Sanskrit, the word meditation meant measure. And you cannot measure something when you are moving. Not accurately. You are not still, you cannot reflect. It is becoming more and more difficult and more rare that people are still
Either of you guys have resources to help with practicing these things?
@@honeypotusername it's not easy. Id say one of the first things is not to change yourself but to get to know yourself and even accept yourself for what and how you are. Part of it for me is quiet time. A long walk with no music of time to be still and alone. I don't do it enough consistently - but journaling has helped me tremendously.
I'm sanksrit, meditation was a word meaning take measure. You're not avoiding thinking, but in a way just trying to be still still and see what comes up. Think about measuring curtains - could you do it accurately if you're not still? So I believe you can't take measure of yourself and be honest with yourself if you're not still.
There's also something to be said about breathing and breathing exercises. We know that your parasympathetic nervous system can be triggered through breathing deeply and slowly through your nose. It helps your body. But you can also exercise and use this to interrupt things that have become habit - like getting frustrated or mad. Take a breath. Take a moment and try not to just react. But even while meditating, slowing your breathing can help give you something to focus on and there are many apps
The word discipline is rooted in the word disciple. To be a disciple is to learn. In some ways, bring disciplined in any area will add up. Whether it's your diet, exercise, your temper, etc. but you also cant beat yourself up.
Last year I started a daily journal that was very helpful. Check it out. It's "the daily stoic" by Ryan holiday. He has a lot of good books that are stoic themed - like stillness is key or ego is the enemy. It was ok kindle for $2 (the daily meditation journal) and only about $16 to buy the hard copy. I found a lot of insight and good advice and used it regularly several months. I am trying to start it again this year consistently.
@@honeypotusername everyone is different. I mean i find doing compass work helps keep me disciplined and helps with stress. Stuff like this. Anything to practice discipline, self reflection and balance are good imho
youtube.com/@thecirclemadeeverything?si=eNCRxbZ9mhRmeDgJ
I've never felt so understood. I used to lie to myself and my life spun out of control. Now I am brutally honest with myself and speak my truth even when it's hard and hurts. I've had to let people go because they couldn't be transparent with me and I found myself getting frustrated with them which wasn't good for either of us. It's not an easy road and sometimes it's downright lonely, but I can't go backwards.
Yup. After 30+ years of being essentially 99% honest, legit, factual, and data-driven about who and what I am, and also regarding what I believe... OMG, people *loathe* me for it. Not all, but most. They simply can't take it, because... let's face it... beliefs and feelings outweigh facts and logic for most idiots on this planet. And when you don't accept their falsehoods, holy sheet do they become ANGRY. Unsurprisingly, irrationally, catastrophically angry. But that's a THEM thing, not a me thing.
@@aminabdullah350Absolutely.
When you qualify "Truth" by saying "my truth" it would seem like you are leaving the door open, while pretending it's closed.
@@oprrrah3498
Daaaamn…. alright for ThaT, Oprrrah!
Y🫵🏼U,
get a New Car. 😉
The funny thing is that once we become brutally honest towards ourselves, we start pushing OTHER people who lie to themselves-or to us-out. Might not seem logical at first glance.
The truth is, life is suffering and it’s sucks a lot of times. It’s good sometimes but is hard most of the time. And we don’t like that. So we lie and say it’s better than it is so we can cope. But the more you come to the realization, understanding and resignation that life is suffering, the less you may suffer.
That's why 17.4 million American males are classified alcoholic. 10.5% of the American population, male and female combined, are alcoholics.
i disagree guessing your from the uk my advice is move to a higher energy place
Why does life have to be judged by utilitarian standards?
"Life's hard, but only during the first hundred years."
Life doesn't have to be experienced as suffering, this only occurs from a certain perspective. Change your perspective ,and suffering ends. This is not to say nothing bad will ever happen in your life,but with the right perspective you don't suffer it. When one door closes,another door often opens, are you still in front of the closed door? Or are you already walking through the open one?
I’ve fought a war with myself and the ego. I have not conquered this foe but I am aware of my enemies deceitful intentions.
Hi FromDtoD. Don’t fight your war: call a truce, then form a peace conference, followed by a lasting treaty allowing stability and development. If you’re bored later, form a larger mental coalitions, perhaps leading to a voluntary empire of the self. [I haven’t thought of internal peace conferences and treaties as analogies for psychological therapy. How fun. Thanks. Cheers.]
People can improve, can make themselves better, but the only true answer for the human condition is The Lord Jesus Christ, who is God Incarnate. Please, read The Gospel of John.
@@bobtaylor170 Hi Bob. I’ve read a couple of different versions of Christian bibles, cover to cover, as well as a number of foundational books from other religions. I have also perused a hexapla, which I recommend for Christians. I appreciate that Jesus tried to form a non-revenge based sect of Judaism, which was rejected during his lifetime, and later accepted by Western Europe, at least for a while. But your assertion that (presumably) your religion is the only true answer is common as a central theme of many religions, and of many different sects within religions. [Note the many sects of Christianity, each insisting they are the correct version of the religion. Muslims have the same issues with different version (sects) of their religion.] Bob, there are many versions of you around the world, each insisting that his version of his religion is the only possible truth. I hope that each of you turns out to be correct, and that each of you goes to heaven, or paradise, or Valhalla, or nirvana, or whatever eternal reward your religion espouses. I hope your religion turns out to be one that is actually true. Cheers.
Billions of people just living out their lives, oblivious - Agent Smith
"Accept the fact that you are accepted, despite the fact that you are unacceptable"
- Tillich
To realize whether we lie to ourselves or not; let's look close to our current existence. Have we ever gotten what we truly wanted? Do I really have friends whom I can trust? Do I feel thankful for what I have so far? , and most importantly, Am I satisfied with my life?
@@aminabdullah350 Concerning the matter that if we've ever gotten what we wanted; I meant if we ever had the courage to pursue our true interests. Average people roam through life without knowing what they really want. They just dream of making a lot of money, or become CEOs for some company, or they imagine being in the spotlight due to their charms. In other words they have such grandeur dreams, but they either have little or no courage to pursue them. My point is that whatever our true dreams are; we might be determined to go for them. We have to make them happen.
On the other hand, all who are satisfied with their current life; they are not spiritually deficient; at least, I think so. On the contrary, I respect those who have known how to overcome all kinds of obstacles in order to become who they currently are as well as to learn from them how may it be possible to have such a fruitful life by following one's true passion. Only 1% of worldwide people follow their passion which makes them happy. The rest of the people are stuck in a 9 to 5 job without realizing what they could do with their lives. It's true that we have up's and down's emotions, but it's also up to us how to manage them in order to reach such a balance which makes us remain standing in spite of all adversities. Besides those who are spiritually evolved do not feel homesick. On the contrary, that "homesick" feeling is such an emotional cocktail in which they're getting in touch with their abstract surroundings such as sorrow, rage, envy, sadness, disappointment, fear, yearning, hope, enthusiasm, love, compassion, etc. It represents the basis stage of spiritual development. Nevertheless, it does not end up there, but continues to fluctuate upwards according to our inner disposition. A true spiritual individual knows how to remain balanced between his Eros and Thanatos self.
In order to examine our current existence; we should look pretty close to our current present. Do we really appreciate what we have done with our life so far?
It's not just about knowing yourself, it's also about accepting yourself.
True
@@SamWilkinsonndo something about it
It depends. Accepting that you're a flawed person who can't be perfect and will make mistakes is a good way to grow and change the things you can. Accepting personality flaws and bad behavior instead of changing them is counter productive and leads to cognitive dissonance.
@@uncertaintytoworldpeace3650 They've gone - deleted.
Nah. Be aware of your flaws, but strive to improve
Reminds me of a couple Twain quotes. “There’s three sides to every story,yours,theirs and the truth.” “If you tell the truth,you don’t have to remember anything.” Learning to be honest with oneself is challenging but necessary in finding purpose and fulfillment.
People don't want the truth. What they really want is an idea that fits into their reality.
😎❤️
I believe the issue is with the "the", "people don't want 'the' truth". Hence the popular phrase, "my truth."
@@GLJosh True. Being objective is a lost art.
@@aminabdullah350 For many, the Shadows in cave are like 3D movies.
Reflection is both key and lock, yet very very VERY few are both willing and also capable of it. That's just reality.
This is the clearest, most concise diagnosis of the human condition that I have ever seen. Bravo.
Go and live some more.
😅@@aperinich
Yeah listen to @aperinich This video isnt universally applied to all people. Its mostly applied to people with NPDs and BPDs. Normal person wont lie to themselves. They might be in period of misunderstanding their situation but eventually they learn and grow. Only the aforementioned people dont ever learn and continuously lie to themselves. I am in shitty job currently, I dont think I better then it or deserve better. I just dont like it and will look for other one. If I dont find a better situation in my life I will accept the limitations and faults of myself and society which cannot provide everybody with what they want and will accordingly. This is how normal people perceive themselves and the world. Only people with those disorders act entitled.
Thanks, I appreciate you giving context. Neurodysfunction, neuro"diversity", injury, trauma, etc can all result in a pretty poor cognitive experience for even the most well-heeled self-interrogators...@@outlander234 :)
You also should check this channel video called “the psychology of self deception” it’s brutally specific about human condition too, but as the reply above said, is mostly about NPD or so…
Encountered this very question when I was 18, after realizing most people are literally lying to themselves and not accepting the full truth of something. After a few sleepless nights of contemplating the pros and cons of both sides, I come to similar conclusion as this video. This video took it much further though, much more in depth. One of the best living philosophy channels out there
Lying to yourself and others is the norm. 80 percent of people don't want truth, honesty or freedom. They deeply desire to be told what to think and what to do. It's an evolved genetic trait and it's been this way for thousands of years. Well that's my understanding.
Ah yes, the NPC gene. It sure seems that way huh? Chieftans and monarchs would squash dissent and competition so regularly that those predisposed to staying in their lane would survive long enough to reproduce. But some of us fuck and fuck and fuck long before we stand up to expose our necks to the ruling class (think William Wallace, or Jesus Christ. They fucked, trust me bro). The fighting spirit, one of honor and self-sacrifice still exists in the gene pool, but lays dormant in many.
That may be true for some, but I think most people just want security and stability, and they'll easily forego things like truth or freedom if it means achieving these ends. The world is complex, and people take mental shortcuts to make understanding of it, even if it means believing in falsities. And why not? If knowing 2+2=4 leaves you dissatisfied, but believing 2+2=5 brings you happiness, why choose the former over the latter?
Some don't have the cognitive ability to practice individuation, their genetic traits are limited. they're simply a product of evolution without any conscious autonomy psychologically.
Herd mentality works for many animals. Why not humans?
@@cameron9292
the world isn't complex, nor are humans.
people would 100% send us back 1000 years if they told themselves that back then times where better (there are people who think this way).
all goals of life are attached to selfishness, the desire to do something. all living things behave in this manner, humans included.
they will always do what they think is best, even if what they believe isn't true and/or helpful in any capacity.
the only constant with the human race is selfish desire and self-destruction. people get complacent, shit hits the fan, people rise up, people calm down and the cycle repeats.....never learning, never adapting.
This is some deep insight. Years ago I was in a very tough spot in my life and everything fell on my shoulders to handle the situation. With others relying on me and the pressure mounting knowing failure was not an option I fell into a profound period of depersonalization. I lied to myself so much that I went from feeling like I was watching myself in the third person to forgetting months of my life permanently. Those days are just gone and years later I can not recall anything from that timeframe. I find it perplexing that such a maladaptive coping mechanism propelled me to achieve what I thought was impossible in a stable state of mind. I feel if I took everything head on at that point in my life I would have imploded. After that experience I vow to never lie to myself to that extent again because the consequence may just be a permanent mechanical state in which everything that makes you a human being is gone. I am grateful to have escaped.
This is why I tell people, that lying to me is one thing, but lying to yourself is the greatest disservice one can do.
"Too much information" is never a bad thing.
What, someone is gunna get pissed off for you being honest?
Their loss and further reinforces their lack of character compared to your own.
I needed to hear this, thanks
Oh, people will DEFINITELY become pissed off at you for being honest! Absolutely. And that's even if you are doing so professionally, ethically, cordially, and with care in mind. People will go absolutely APESHIP on you if you hit 'em with facts. Also, never mind if you do it with intelligence, wit, snark, and style, too; OMG, that will get you mocked, stalked, blocked, trolled, cajoled, and cancelled! LOL 🤣
"too much information" can definitely be a bad thing. Being honest with ourselves is great but you don't owe anyone confessions. There are times when lying to others and/or omitting certain details is definitely a positive thing for everyone involved. There's a lot of nuance and complexity around this "absolute honesty" topic that is almost never discussed because it's easier to throw away logic/reason, play ignorant, give into our own ego and narcissism, and decide everything is black and white.
Self righteousness is also self deception
Lying to myself is the only thing that keeps me going. I've been telling myself it'll get better for the last 5 years
I know that is real. I believe my permanent disability will just go away one day.
Are you doing the things that would make life better.
Another lie is "Trump is going to make it all better." 😂
@derickchristensen3219 Trump definitely improved my life when he was president. I'm not American, but seeing him just say the weirdest shit was always funny.
@@Yurivw Trump is entertaining, I'll give him that.
This is all so true. In the past we've endeavored as a society to educate people in a way that allows us to recognize our own cognitive dissonance, our own flawed rationalizations. That is difficult, even in people who's self-awareness has been cultivated. But we've taken a turn in the opposite direction. Now people are taught to ignore the illogic of cognitive dissonance. In fact we're taught to embrace it under the premise that feeling good about something makes it right. This isn't a new concept, one of the battle cries of the 1960s was "If it feels good, do it". But now people are actually taught this as a part of formal education. It's the mashup of Orwell's "newspeak" with "doublethink", the latter being the willful, conscious practice of cognitive dissonance. First you convince people that "hate speech is violence". Everyone knows that hurting someone's feelings doesn't equate to hitting them with a baseball bat. Then, after that concept has taken root add "Anyone who speaks out against [fill in the blank] is committing hate speech". When the dissonance occurs at a personal level, the most psychological harm is to the individual and, fair enough, that can spill over into various kinds of relationships and affect others within proximity. But when it's fed to young people as a virtuous, guiding precept for life, it entraps society, or large portions of it, into a pattern of self-deceit. The majority of what we consider clinical mental illness is based in some form of self-deceit, acknowledging there can be organic roots. But promoting self-deception as a virtue will have untold consequences at the societal level. It has crept, from the top down, from the Utopian think tanks, to academia, to higher education, and now public school. Even as early as daycare. Directed denial like this can only be thwarted when people come to realize that the misery they're feeling, that they've been told to blame on the supposed maliciousness of humans and society, is actually self-inflicted by living a life based on a religious adherence to unresolvable conflict between pretense and reality.
Thanks for this video. I think on the flip side a lot of people have a distorted view of themselves based on how negative they feel others perceive them. For instance, some mean kid could call you ugly in grade school and you then tell yourself you’re ugly for the rest of your life. Then someone else calls you stupid, and then you see yourself as stupid the rest of your life, then someone calls you effeminate, and so you believe yourself to be effeminate. By the time you’re middle age you believe yourself to be an ugly, stupid, effeminate loser and a screw up, and so you continue to play that role, believing that other people are right about you in order to avoid being put back in your proper place and being hurt.
At 48, I have done a lot of that in my life. I’ve gotten better with this, but some times I still fall in the same trap. I’ve avoided a lot of hatred and competition from others by playing this game, but I’ve also never been fully able to reach my potential and serve others the way I should by using my God given gifts either. I tell myself other people wouldn’t allow it because they perceive me as incompetent and weird. This too is a lie, I guess, but then there’s always someone out there putting me down again to make me feel like I truly am a weirdo and a loser. What is the solution? The only thing I could think of is prayer each day for God to protect me from lies, but also for me to accept things that actually are true, and for the discernment to be able to distinguish this. ❤
❤️🙏
Sometimes is is hard to know whether you over or underestimate yourself because the people around you either aren't thinking straight themselves or else they have an agenda. Society now is exceptionally deluded. People think they can change the space time continuum with binaural beats.
Great Video about a really difficult topic. I can understand the necessity to be honest to yourself and take responsibility to improve your life. On the other hand being deceived or mistreated can lead you to question your perception and maybe taking on to much responsibilty for Bad things that happened (to you). This Video gave me the Impression that this philosophy can also backfire if you are prone to deny that shit happened to you, leading to your carrying to much responsibility in the Process.
Responsibility is power. When you take responsibility for everything in your life, including the sins of others against you, then you have the power to expunge them. You can forgive yourself, do better next time and move on with your life starting today! And nobody in the world can stoo you. But if you leave the blame on others, then you can get stuck waiting forever for justice that will never come. And you risk developing a victim mentality that can erode your self esteem and handicap your future endeavors.
@@jakeviolet2195 wow this is incredibly well articulated.
The part about aggressors blaming their victims so that they can feel better about themselves is so very real... still remember someone telling me "if a murderer shows up, they did a bad thing, but maybe the target should also learn to be more careful" yea screw that lol
I think the most amazing lie is our ability to lie to ourselves and tell ourselves that shitty times in our past were actually good and we want to go back to those...
This is what I need right now, I need to make an important decision. I can’t continue this relationship I built, I never loved her I need to tell her to move on in this journey of life.
Don't think who you are, for that is a lie developed by the ego. Instead think what you are, only then will suffering cease and truth prevail.
One of the realizations on the road to recovery from alcoholism is the realization how much the alcoholic lies, whether to others and/or himself. I see this over and over again at my Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. Those who realize and admit to this are making strides. As you may know, one of the important Twelve Steps is admitting, when possible, to those you've harmed that you did so. Usually lying is a component of that harm.
I loved the phrase "We should limit the degree to which we lie to ourselves." I couldn't agree more! The so-called "always" honest is impossible because your ego and mind are so deeply programmed to lie to themselves that you would have numerous occasions where you think you are honest, but you are not. In addition, if you want to live in today's society, socialize with people, and have long-term relationships, you would need to lie occasionally, but once again I do believe, that if we strive to limit ourselves as much as possible, we are destined to live a fulfilling life although there are many costs, which we as people would always try for the easier path.
Your videos come as a breath of refreshing philosophical insight into our own lives, where most of us have built mechanisms and coping strategies to manage responsibilities and inner tribulations.
Self-deception is used as a convenient defence mechanism to avoid facing the reality and pushing the blame for our flaws and inconsistencies onto someone or something else.
Academy of Ideas, you have led me into a room where great ideas and philosophies float around and I just wonder at the sight of such immense curiosity and knowledge.
Already hit my rock bottom 3 years ago. Yep, that is correct. Rebuilding is an arduous task. At the same time though, if I hadn't hit rock bottom, I might not have the outlook I do now, or living where I do now with the same sensibilities.
This is the number 1 channel to get people to take a look at themselves and also to question why they are following tyranny. I've tried to send many other videos, AOI has been the only thing to reach the people around me and that isn't hyperbole. This is one of the best YT Channels for the times we live in especially. It broke through to my friend during the CV shenanigans, that's huge. Share this with people who need to see it.
Thanks AOI ♥️💪
For me…. It’s very important to lie to myself because of hope. Wishes and prayers are really just a far fetched lie “hope” that you have to believe to go on or take continuous actions. It’s certainly a defense mechanism, but necessary at the darkest times of your life.
Excellent Video!! Jane Austen was a master at leading her characters through the process of discovering their own faulty logic and internal lies. That is what makes her heroines so noble and memorable: Elizabeth Bennet, Emma, Marianne Dashwood and even Catherine from Northanger Abbey were all brave enough to confront their prideful natures to see the truth about themselves. I have a video on my channel about Emma and how Austen leads her to this discovery.
Childhood trauma is known to create difficulties in life. It is known as Childhood Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It is those who had good childhoods that criticizes those who have been afflicted. It is a problem for those dealing with healing (in so far as that is possible).
Some believe that if enough people can be convinced to lie to themselves, the basic laws of physical reality can be transformed.
Sounds like the last 10 years of western civilization summarized. Spoiler Alert: It won't end well
@@kyle-7107 More than 10 years and it is not just a western phenomenon. China, Russia...Not exactly free from lying. The whole humanity has a log in the eye.
Like Organized Religions...
@@judylandry302although i see what you are getting at, I think it is not fair. Previously, organized religions served to not only as a means of communal/spiritual bonding but also as an explanation of physical phenomena. So the "magic" and "miracles" of religious belief before science and secularization wasnt so much self deception or lying, rather just merely a fact of the world.
“The Final Theory: Rethinking Our Scientific Legacy “, Mark McCutcheon for proper physics.
These vids save my life like genuinely best channel ever
This is by far the best video on youtube.. I can't remember the last time I've watched a video 5 times back to back. Thank you so much for aggregating so much wisdom on the topic into such a small amount of time.
How timely. My mother lied to herself for decades that smoking wouldn't matter. Now here i am right now sitting in the Hospital watching her die years early beacuse of it.
Im sorry to hear that. Sending you a hug 🫂
So sorry to hear that, please take care and sending you hugs 🙏🏽
Dang bud, sorry to hear that.
you can ignore reality, but you will never be able to ignore the consequences of reality
Well said.
The consequences of reality are part of reality, so you can ignore them too
@@chemical2401 Not always. Ask an inmate.
Them being an inmate is a part of reality@@productioninquiry8937
I've been putting off building a work shop for a couple years because I've just been too busy working 10-17 hour days 6 -7 days a week. I'm going to take a few months off this summer and actually do it because I have to. I've come to terms that I'm a creative tinkerer and I need a place to make stuff and tinker or else I'm just going to decay and waste my youth. Also I know in my heart that this is the end times and I want to survive it and witness the end and see what happens at the start of the new cycle.
I just realized that this is one of the BIGGEST problems with modern dating.
Mass gaslighting.
and SO many lies.
From EVERYONE.
So much that I don't even talk about my sex life or dating life online.
Same bro i just talk about how big my wiener is and thankfully ixdont need to lie when i say it 8 inchs
You shouldn't be discussing your dating or sex life online anyway, regardless of whether there are any problems with it on a broader scale. Your private life should remain private.
She cheating on you bro
The topic of this video is self-deception. Not the deception of others. Focusing on other's sins is a convenient psychological trick to avoid confronting your own sins.
Butthurt much?
This is one of the few generator of ideas that maintains this platform a status of any value
God bless you Academy of Ideas, looking to support your endeavors through membership in the near future
Just found "Academy of Ideas" and this video was one of the most profound 14 minutes I have ever watched on UA-cam. Thank you for this. I find that the more authentic I become with friends and family the more difficult these relationships. I find myself in awkward pauses and wondering if perhaps just a small bit of "deceit" is not necessary when someone says, "What do you think about my haircut?" Honesty or self-deception?
It is, indeed. It has a great deal in common - erudition and depth - with a significantly different channel on UA-cam, Empire of the Mind. The guy who does that makes long form videos which analyze classic films from a moral/Christian point of view. It really is a remarkable channel. Also, The Catholic Culture Film podcast works much the same territory, though in multipanelist talk. ( I'm not a Catholic, though I am a Christian. ) But I'm reasonably sure that if this channel appeals to you, the others have a good chance of doing so.
Isn't it wonderful that UA-cam can be used for highminded, dignified things, not just ephemera and trash?
Alot of people are void of reality and I know for a fact many need therapists to tell them how it is. Instead of understanding and being honest with themselves, they lie themselves into some type of trauma and then have to resort to a therapist
Therapists don't tell you how it is
This provides many insights into many discussions and debates. Very useful
So relevant to my life and handling situations in it, thank you!
Beware of this negative content ... Too much focus on it will lead to more unhappiness and 'problems' in your life. Yes, try to be as realistic as possible, BUT then choose to focus on the positive, on the constructive, on what feels right and good. And do more of that. "Whatever we focus on, grows". Beware of the "I need to heal/shadow work" trap. 😊 Have a nice day 👋
Yeah, but be careful not to get stuck in a life of gratifying base pleasures at the expense of working to reach your full potential.
😊continuing to try and be a better person
Being honest with ourselves is not only a virtue but more importantly, it helps us to create the life we want which is built on a solid foundation, not on some BS.
John 14:6 Jesus Christ says - I am the Way the Truth and the Life, No one comes unto the Father except through Me.
Romans 6:23
For the wages of Sin is death but the free gift of God is Eternal Life in Christ Jesus.
Repent of thine sins, turn to God and ye shall be forgiven. Jesus is coming back soon!🥳
Jesus Christ loves you and died on the cross for YOU😁he loves you so much and is calling you to a relationship with your Father in Heaven Elohim. The devil’s time is running out and he knows it. Turn to God and step on the schemes of the devil. John 8:36 To Whom the Son(Jesus Christ) sets free is free indeed.
That anxiety, depression, mania can all cease in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour. Hallelujah. That’s good news!!🎉🎉 the devil has been judged but GODS SHOWN US MERCY!!🙌🏻
Repent. Believe in the gospel. Put your faith in Jesus and ye shall be Saved!!
Excellent video. Congratulations.
0:33 AmongUs
be strong individual, know yourself and accepting yourself is more important, because even when you are perfect and powerful it could be deceiving, make sure you know yourself better than everybody around you, or your life will be ruined.
Thanks again for your valuable lessons..
Keep on going..
1st make sure that's your self is your self... ( search about this topic )..
Not changed in the darkness away of the eyes with another self..
And think about the consequences of that..
While delusions end badly, at the margin subjective perception over a bleak reality can motivate achievement through action, focus and self belief.
Thank you for your work. I am making an effort to get such thoughtful considerations a platform amongst the people who know what I know but fail to act like they know
People don't like personal responsibility. So they lie to themselves.
Religion...
Its his will..
It is his work..
He is testing me...
I'd add they dont like that and accountability. They dont want to be held accountable for their actions, as it may tarnish their reputation or expose themselves as a failure
@@kylehassan972 All religions.
The teaching of 'everyone is equal' helps perpetuate this,
Exactly as described here, people tell themselves a story to give themselves an excuse of why they're failing in life, or for why they're not doing much better in life than they are, and for why others are doing much better than they themselves are.
Jeez now messy people are told it's not their fault they're lazy , it's childhood traumas fault, because they were traumatised they can't clean, can't work, can't can't can't can't
And Dr types live off this false teaching.
It's disgusting what's happening, and Dr types got a licence to do it!
I see the issue a little bit elsewhere. Oftentimes its true, that current day 'laziness' can be traced to 'childhood trauma' or some other unfavourable circumstance. What is IMO an issue tho is getting stuck at "describing the problem", without looking for a solution and movement forward. That is IMO the real problem ppl get stuck at and "Dr types" often operate from. SOOOO much attention on the problem, very little on a path forward / solution.
@@117ao They know they've picked up habits that are detrimental, but no one teaches how to undo those habits.
@@117ao I would imagine it's similar to building bad habits, by using them enough throughout daily life.
Ridiculous amount of truth contained in this video!
Need more facts .
Sometimes self deceit lies close to what we typically call, hope. At times that is the difference between resigning to our situation and pushing on. However, at some point, one cannot go further without facing the ugly truths.
This channel never disappoints, always rich with deep wisdom, fantastic art.
Beige half-baked insights misrepresenting itself as wise and/or deep. It only works on the shallow minded.
Sometimes .
and yet here you are trolling 🤡@@aperinich
This really resonated with me. Thanks for the amazing videos.
In a post-modern, post-truth society, what is a lie? What is repeated in the media as the truth changes frequently and is full of contradictions.
Facts are not open to interpretation. "TRUTHS" can be, because they are derived *from* facts. But even then, when you have something like Eratosthenes' key measurements regarding the curvature of the planet, and yet also, you have 100k "flat Earthers"... it's pretty easy to know which hemisphere upon which one should reside. The real issue always boils down to how much WORK one is willing to do in order to seek the facts from which truths are derived. Most people are too gaedaemn LAZY, and therefore... they're subject to corrupt chicanery.
No, facts can always be interpreted @@Novastar.SaberCombat
The ego cannot enlighten,so knowing who you already are must be realized,and knowing the difference between the two is essential for true honesty.
Amazing quotes and thoughtful insights as usual. Keep up the great work!
To quote Uncle Dub from Kudzu: Life's tough, and it's especially tough on wimps. Are you starting to catch my drift, boy?
I wish my ex would watch this. I think there's a huge reason "Know thyself" was the only thing written on the temple of Delphi. Change is uncomfortable. Willpower is everything. The devil you know... Eeeee
*Nothing in excess was also written I guess...
*and give a pledge trouble is sure to ensue …
@@feraiivie what
@@luke144 that was the 3rd maxim … the first 2 you have stated
Sadly, I am in a relationship with someone who embodies these traits.
Extrication is in process.
The pulling away is hard. Watching someone you love, live in this way, heartbreaking.
Don't feel too badly. 90% of all humans are pretty much lying to themselves on a daily basis. "Reflection" is just their face in a mirror, not the more spiritual version where they must confront who and what they TRULY are. And why? Simple. They don't wish to look at themselves. And no, I do not mean "physically".
Leave your narcissist.
You are the one decieving yourself. Your partner may be doing so as well, but you have no insight into that. The only person whose internal life you can ever know is your own. Focusing on the faults and failures of others is one of the ego's favorite methods of avoiding painful self-reflection.
@@jakeviolet2195 you don’t even know me and yet have passed judgment on my internal mental state. Your response is why I usually don’t post comments. This video was insightful and meaningful. Please don’t piss on it.
This video is dumb lol @@lisanieves2792
Wonderful art selection.
Thos is good advice, but the counter side to this is that in the example you gave of bullying they're trying to make the victim take responsibility. Blaming yourself can be a self deception to get you out of the pain of dealing with a situation you have no control over.
Just simply don't lie. Whether it's to yourself or to others. Not lying doesn't mean that you always broadcasting your thoughts, you can always choose silence or approach the question from a different angle. Just stay silent for the most part, but when you speak, speak only what is truthful and beneficial.
I only lie to myself at 3am when I say I have to go to sleep instead of finishing these videos
Your thinking knows it all. So wise and helpful. So constructive....
If your not getting tangible results from your thoughts within a reasonable amount of time after a reasonable amount of effort then it is indeed a lie.
Or progress is slow.
I was lucky to have been taught by Dr. Elliot Aronson at UC Santa Cruz in social psychology. One of the best professors I ever had.
What Reflection did you glean after learning from him? It would be great to hear about, yes?
This deals only with discursive, intentional lies to the self that then become believed as truth. It does not factor in the unconscious lies, the ones we are not aware of, the ones that actually structure our existence and allow for the other types of lies. Our memories and conceptions about ourselves and the world, all misrememberings, incorrect assumptions that we know no better about. No matter what one does, there is no escaping from them
Thank you for making these videos! They are extremely informative and interesting. I hope you will stay motivated to keep on posting new ones!
Lying? My kids are dead. I'm not lying I know because I feel it in my heart. I didn't want to suffer for the rest of my life. My whole family is gone. I tried to report it multiple times. Many people know it. I can feel them asking for me. ❤🎉😢😊🤗
What?
Also titled: why you should Sneed and Feed instead of Cope and Seethe
Thank you for this one! ❤❤❤
True lying to myself cost me 7 years of my life which I can never get back
Try lying to yourself the other way to get them back
@@chemical2401 will try thankss
I'm opposite from most folks. I'm dishonest with myself in that I say derogatory and untrue things about me; not pretending anything good or avoiding reality, but really being hard on myself. I'm bad for this.
I'm a slow learner. I really despise me for that. I learned to do this from my grandmother and father, both who hated me since the day I was born. I was forced and punished by them to sit and pretend to do homework, for example, when I didn't even understand my lessons. I'd cry and moan and there was nothing I could do and there was no one to help me, no one on my side. If I did not understand something, it meant only that I needed to be beaten and yelled at harder. I took up this behavior by myself eventually, never giving me a break. I fell behind in school in second grade and never recovered. I would have nightmares I was falling off the roof of the three story schoo building.
And the more slowly I learn, the madder I get at me. I will force myself to stay awake on a project, even for days, until I get what I want. Other slow, stupid people will not push themselves hard enough to get what they want. They give up too easily. Sometimes they won't even begin.
I realize am an extreme case, but the fact is most people are lazy, weak and soft and will not push themselves hard enough to get what they want. You must get hard and do your level best in spite of your limitations sometimes. You'll be surprised what you can do.
My father, now well into his 80s and his dotage, will never admit he is proud of me, how I think, my self-educating, I'm a polymath, the things I create in my shop, etc., has brought him to tears at times. He can't believe what he's seeing. Not bad for a stupid kid who he despised and treated like trash and often told to go kill himself.
I never entertained his suicide wish for me for even a moment. I always knew he was goofy in the head, even as a small child. Never trusted him, never liked him. Now, I just laugh and have a good time. What's he gonna do about it?! Lol.
That's an interesting way of raising a child. I was raised in some what similar but not to that degree.
I hate deception and lies, but this is a good reminder to not be fooled by self deception either, making sure I am not making the same mistakes as I see in others.
This video should be watched over and over.
I’m a probation officer who is mandated to administer drug tests to drug offenders. When a test comes back positive I have to confront the person with the results and make a report to the court. The offender can make a statement about the results and that also goes into my report. It should not surprise anyone to know that I am often lied to. Some of the excuses are amazing. The first time I confronted someone with a positive test, he denied it vehemently. He was so convincing that I thought there was something wrong with the test. I am no longer fooled by such statements. Drug addiction live a lie to the point of believing their own lie.
When we don't partake of the collective conscious we see it more clearly . I read once and understood why .... That monks are excellent at lie catching. ....it's because when you involved in sin you cant see your sin nor others....collective. I appreciate the content you guys put forward . Thank you.
Good understanding regarding how to avoid self deception.
I will keep lying to myself in accordance with the Law.
It’s better to live for yourself than for people who despise you and use you as their resource. It's not a question of selfishness, it's a question of pride.
Service to others isn't being exploited by others. The exception, of course, is if you really are being exploited. The only thing to do in such a situation is to get out of it.
Whether you are a Christian or not, it's important to recognize Christianity's central premise, that the Lord God became a man to serve His insolent human creation.
No one can lie without knowing the truth. Otherwise, it isn't a lie. A lie can only exist as an opposition to the truth else it is merely misinformation.
Lying to yourself that you go along with the lie that your not aware of the truth but you truly are aware yet. When confronted with the facts , they say things like. That's not true or you can't prove that.
This is Narcissist Therapy for them to recover their authentic selves.
Ya'll are geniuses. You know exactly what to say without triggering injury.
Another fantastic video👏👏👏
This was really interesting, I thank you for this wisdom
Im not even joking when I say that this is the most important video of 2024...
Cheers, mate!
People with BPD are the best at self manipulating. And they are somehow very functional (cruel) beings in society and the people that have engaged in relationship with them (or being a child of one) are the ones that will be the damaged. There is nothing scarier than to witness the voidness of any integrity whatsoever and a bottomless void soul, packaged well behind facades. And they even try to keep the lie alive about BPD, claiming they are highly sensitive. Not being able to accept that sensitivity they have is a distorted one. And they abuse whatever sense they have.
💎🏆 Great insightful & fruitful video 🏆💎
We're all gonna make it brahs
"Ruin" to one may be liberation to another
As soon as you think your honest with yourself the ego pops in and exaggerates your truth!!
Depends on how well you've disciplined yourself over the decades. Like all things, it takes training, practice, resources, consistency, Reflection, and plenty more.
@Novastar.SaberCombat is that an honest approach?