What’s the Role of an Older Sibling? | {THE AND} Parris & Alicia
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- Опубліковано 5 кві 2019
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Parris & Alicia, siblings for 12 years, share an intimate moment exploring the roles they play in each other’s lives. Alicia raises the concerns she holds about their mother babying Parris and her frustration with trying to help. Although he disagrees, Parris still let’s his older sister know when she helps him the most.
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Director | Nick D'Agostino
Cameras | Ashika Kuruvilla, Anndi Liggett, & Nick D'Agostino
Producers | Mériem Dehbi-Talbot & Nick D'Agostino
With the Participation of | Parris & Alicia
What’s the Role of an Older Sibling? | {THE AND} Parris & Alicia
#theskindeep #siblings #growingup - Розваги
As an oldest child/sister I feel her pain. We start out as the guinea pigs of parenting and although we know our parent/s love us their methods can really effect us especially when we can see the contrast in parental behaviours with our younger siblings. It’s even worse as a girl because mothers especially are more strict when it comes to us but when it comes to boys, they’re extremely softer which we, as daughters can internalise as our parents loving the younger sibling way more than us.
Preeaaccheee sis. My parents are very different with me and my sisters, another reason being we have a massive age gap and I got to experience times where my parents were young, and trying hard to hussle to keep the roof over our heads. Money isn't amazing but its much better, and my sisters are very spoilt. I still love them all but seeing the differences on parenting, strikes a cord with me a lot
Wow! Facts!
Yessss
or younger it’s because of this
Same.
Older sibling gang where u at😂?
here!!
here...oldest by 4 years
Here! Oldest by 7 and 13 years!
Here B)
Older by 8 and 12 years 👋
I am the oldest in my family 😊!
"What's one thing I can do to be a better sister?"
"Mind your business." LMAO
My man said that with the coldest mafioso voice I've ever heard from a 12 year old, lol
every black FEMALE older sibling knows exact what sis was talking about. I always say that my brother and I are being raised by COMPLETELY different parents. I never got babied the way he does and I feel her worry about it manifesting when he's older into bad traits.
OMG I feel this same way and I get so annoyed and agitated but not with him just with them not treating him way they treated me. He could get away with anything and I still get that oh you doing good but... And I am like why is there always a but
Honey it ain’t just black females. I understand a white woman. Same shit, different house.
@@serpentinewolf7085 well she is speaking as a black girl, she doesn’t know anything about being white
@@serpentinewolf7085 *black women
And yes you can relate but the dynamic is different.
This is very much the dynamic of black mothers and their sons versus their daughters. Michelle Obama once said “We love our boys and we raise our girls...We raise them to be strong, and sometimes we take care not to hurt men”
As the older sister in my household, i relate with you 100%. I’ll be your older sister if you need it, ok?
Take care, sis.
I can honestly see the pain in her eyes.
I can see how much that older sister is hurting. I hope her mom can understand her pain and learn to rebuild a relationship that is considerate of both of their feelings. I can tell she’s a wonderful big sister and I hope birth order and parenting styles does not negatively impact their relationship or cause resentment in the future. I felt the love in this video, but I also felt the tension and pain residing in both of them.
so true
As a oldest sibling, i totally feel how she feel and how she compares her childhood and her siblings. Its hard man, being guinea pig and being treated the way we are is not fair, but the younger siblings tend not to help too bc they are usually favorited and treated kinder. I believe this is the reason many older siblings have a problem opening up to parents at times
S/o to all the Older siblings out there, you’re all much appreciated more than you know. It can feel like a great weight off your shoulders just having someone who can relate to you and give you guidance. I know it can be difficult at times when you guys have no older sibling to look up to but just keep doing what your doing and follow your heart. You’re all a bigger influence on us than you realize.
Pariah _ Such a sweet comment.
Thank you. Sometimes it’s nice to hear.
really needed this
Thank you so much... I needed this..
Thank you so much
Alicia needs a the and session with her mommy.
THAT WAS ME IN DA VID SHE FAKE PERSON WRD 2 dat ain’t my real sister !!
I feel the daughters pain so much. She is me.
I'm the oldest sibiling and I couldn't help crying while watching this video. I don't have any friends who are able to understand my pain. They just don't knot what it's like having four younger siblings and feeling completely lonely
I can feel that she almost bawled when he said that 'she teaches him to be better'. I felt that. I haven't heard my younger siblings say that, but damn does that hit.
I always give them a taste of tough love, because our parents always give in and give everything they ask for when they start throwing tantrums. I faced our parents and said that they are damaging their development by giving in every time. How would they learn that not everything is freely given? That crying won't solve all their problems?
They treat the youngers differently.
That one thing you did wrong? Absolute disappointment. When the they do the same? It's okay, they're young.
I feel a bit of shame in lashing out about that unfair treatment. Always telling me that I was a lot worse when I was young. Duh? You didn't know how to handle a child yet! Of course you think I'm the worst!
All in all, children are retirement plan for the whole family. (and something they brag about everywhere)
I feel like there’s so much more/be more specific about certain problems she wants to say but she stopped herself either because of how old he is or cause the mother may hear it and be hurt and just cause this is a public platform. But she definitely is hurt deeply about something
Alicia you are such a beautiful, mature and intelligent young woman. I hope your mom heard you and works toward improving your relationship. There are tons of women and girls out here who completely understand your pain. But, at the same time, you wouldn't be who you are without that. Still, there needs to be a balance.
You are _such_ a good big sister. 😭💖
She fine ! That ain’t my real sister !
She is absolutely gorgeous!
I think she really understands the difficulty that is trying to raise a soft human being who is male but also get them ready for the world as it is. I'm sure thier Mum wants him to be a child for as long as possible becuase she knows there are people that already see him as a problem/threat/animal. It had to be difficult to watch on as an older sibling and have to be 'the bad guy' somtimes, knowing you were never given that freedom to be soft.
They are so young, yet so mature. I completely relate to both of them. How pure ad honest. Also, they need to have a serious talk with their mom
I am an older sibling too and my mom always expect me to do every single chores before she arrives home from work. I am taking care of my 3 brothers one of em is a toddler and I also am taking care of my sister. I cook for them, I clean the house, and do the laundry I also prepare my step dad and step grandma’s food for sometime’s lunch and dinner. I am the second oldest but I am always expected to do everything, everytime and nobody knows I’m tired.
It was something like, "Sometimes I think you need my two cents. you may not ask for it, but you're going to get it."
Like, ooooh yeah! They're gonna get it
She made me cry with her because I feel her pain as the older sister. I have 2 older brothers but my mom babies them because they’re men. She lets them get away with a lot more then me. It feels disrespectful!
I’d have been your older sister. I am sorry for you.
As an oldest sibling I can relate to this sooo much. I don’t have the opportunity to do much :/ I need to be home right after school to take care of my siblings. I don’t mind it . But I want to play sports and it really hurts knowing that my siblings will be able to since they’ll have me to help them out they’ll be able to do what they want and I can’t.
This is literally me and my little brother wow. My dad has babied my younger brother and I always tell him that he’s never treated me or my older brother that same way.
When she said she never remembers spending alone time with her Mom, that really hurt. When my siblings wer born, I felt like I was discarded, plain and simple
Same
Sometimes you can both be raised by the same parents, but one feels like he or she was raised by a completely different "set" of parents because of the dynamic of how they treat one child vs the other is so painfully unequal.💯i can relate to what the sister was saying because even though im the "baby" of my family i feel my parents can sometimes show favoritism between me & my older sister & that shit annoys the fuck outta me. this was definitely a cute episode & introspective.💙we all don't experience the same experience...
As the youngest in my family, with three sisters and only one brother whom I share a fourteen year age gap with, I came here for insight of my brother’s thoughts and emotions towards me. Time after time I thought he was scolding me for not being the best version of myself, I came to realize this is not true a long time ago. Conversations we have turn into preaches about what I can be doing to move my life forward, when I desperately just want to slow things down. So we can share moments together that we did not have a chance to make growing up apart, I see that is not true today. This video showed me how my brother and I grew up in different times with different parenting styles. How he grew into the man he is today from the struggles he endured at my age, which were not easy for a normal boy. I realized today even though we do not share common interests, we have one thing in common. Our bond for each other is the same. We both wish the best for each other, and that is plenty for me to know he loves me wholeheartedly.
Such a good big sister ♥️ He is lucky to have her.
Celeste R it’s funny because Paris is my best friend lol
I ain’t lucky to have shi dat ain’t my sister !! Stamp I was yb
I have four children, I had my first at 22, he's ten now, ten months after his birth I gave birth to his brother. At 26 I had my last children, a set of identical twin girls who are 6 now. I do not know what I would do without my oldest child. His brother and sisters have autism so he is a protector at school and the playground and understands that they look up to him. Saying all that this was great to watch. Unique.
“Why you love me?”
It’s not about blood. Not for me and many others. I’ve pretty much disowned my parents, but my siblings…
I held you when you were a baby, looked into those little eyes of yours.
I watched you grow, every year and every milestone. I watched you go from a baby and turn into a full fledged person.
I played with you.
I taught you.
I provided for you.
I made sure if there was food you ate first.
When the parents fought, I made sure you were distracted.
When our father was angry and violent I made sure he never got to you.
Darlings, my love for my siblings is so much stronger than blood.
This. All of this. My parents have pushed me to the point of no return tbh but I love my younger sibs with everything I have.
She seems like she holds resentment towards her sibling … I’m the older sister , my mom had me at 17 and him at 28 and I never felt any way towards him or the relationship he has with my mom . You gotta heal baby girl ❤️
I hope their Mom can come do this with her ❤️😢
Thank you so much for posting this
This girl is pretty, charming and sweet. As the oldest of 4:
- I wished I had an older sibling for years.
- If my mum had had my younger brother first, I'll have had it a bit easier because she would have dealt with the tough one first and then seen me as the sweetest and easiest lol.
- my mum didn't allow my siblings especially the tough one, insult me, so no way will my brother, ever, at over 30, tell me to mind my business (may be a cultural thing though).
- my mum also made my siblings partake in chores so it wasn't fully on me.
- my baby sis- almost 13 years younger- is the one we say had it easy as the rules for the rest of us was no longer on place when she came.
Do 'oldest daughter and parents'~!
He’s so cute.
This was amazing.
When I was seven, my sister was four(almost 5) and I couldn’t talk back to her, argue with her, anything like that. But now that she’s almost 8, she can hit me whenever she wants and won’t get in trouble. My parents only tell her it’s not nice. It’s so unfair 😔
awww this is adorable
Bravo! I relate!
A twelve year old boy telling his older sister to mind her business. Agh the male centrism is real. The entitlement is already there and growing.
She's strong, she's great, and he definitely needs her there.
On the other side, I read Alli Black's comment and can't help but wonder how much of that babying is to protect him. How much of her raising was to make her strong for a world against her in every way. The world isn't against him in all the same ways. How much of that protection is just preference and privilege for a male child?
It's not a clear picture in any way.
Oh please. Gender privilege isn’t the cause of that boy’s comment. All younger siblings want their older siblings to mind their own business a little more.
@@meghanalexander1994 Little priveleged siblings know their mother have a soft spot for them,they ain’t stupid.She is older than him so he should view her as an older sister,respect her and take her words into consideration because telling the eldest sibling that grew up with a non affectionate parents to mind their own business is a sign of them being aware of their privelege - which is usually on a male privelege or golden child privelege (can be a male and female).You obv arent the eldest so you rly cannot speak bc if u was the eldest,you would see where the sister is coming from.and even if u are the eldest - you must be the golden child.
Ehhh I'm an oldest child myself, so I took that comment as just him saying she's in his case a bit too much sometimes... I know I can maybe be a bit overboard with my bro and it can feel stifling to him. I don't think he meant it in a malicious manner
I love all of my siblings💖💖 for real and tbh. We didnt get close again when they grow up. I wish and pray they can all be happy with me together.
This one hit
I need to read that book my son suggested about birth order!!
This is so sweet and relatable
When I was a little kid my mom used to make me read books and if I didn’t know how to pronounce a word then she would make me sound it out and learn how to say it if that meant me saying my abc s but my little brother on the other hand gets let of easy and he has a tsblet and a phone and. I didn’t even get a tablet till I was about 7 or 8 but my little brother got one as soon as he knew how to walk
Being the youngest of my siblings this is so relatable
I would love to do this with my younger siblings
Real love.....
He is adorable!
beautiful kids yo!
He is a handsome kid
I’m the middle child and my older and younger sibling both get babied and it’s annoying.
I feel her pain as an older sister because I’m… an older sister and of five siblings. All half. But I think as older siblings we need to come to an understanding and maturity of understanding that our younger siblings aren’t us. They didn’t go through what we went through, they weren’t the older sibling, the Guinea pig. And it makes me sad because I feel like her brother is a just a literal child and he was shamed for only knowing what he knows. Sadly as an older sibling we need to be as good of a role model as we can and show the love that we feel for our siblings. If not, that’s on you and your relationship but I’ve been through a lot of unfair situations and feelings growing up as an older sister and I can only look at my younger siblings as the child I was before too and I was damn sure not one ounce of perfect. Even if our situations were different that’s still not my place to make them feel bad for how they act. My parent(s) are the ones who are at fault. If they want a child to do different/be different then they need to do the same as a parent. Not me.
My older sister wines and complains when she had any responsibility to do. I'm the middle child and I have more then her. I have to act older then her most of the time 😤🤚🏻
Gorgeous ♥️♥️💘💘
Not me going to hug my grown baby brother 😭
Great parenting they had.
He go to my school he not shy at all smh
Wow
What’s the worst thing about being the oldest sibling?
not having someone to go to that can really understand where you are coming from. or feeling as though you weren’t treated with the same amount of attention as your younger sibling.
Being a parent and I'm not even the older sibling
Feeling pressured to be a role model for them
Having those difficult conversations with younger sibling (that you know they need) but your parents won't have with them. Oftentimes parents might not touch the sensitive subject because they don't know any better but you do.
Being responsible about your youngest siblings, not just when they're little. I have 24 yr my brother have 21 and my sister 13 and I'm the one who take care of my brother and try to guide him while I'm trying to make my little sister being capable of survive by her own. And when i was 13 i had to take care of my brother, help my mom with him in all kind of things and my sister doesn't even know how to use the microwave without getting hurt. Lol.
I'm going to be an older sister soon and idk how to feel about it I feel like I'll be a horrible older sister... I was a horrible daughter horrible grand daughter horrible friend how am I meant to be a good older sister... And it's breaking me down I feel like I shouldnt even be a sister.... I feel like I shouldnt be here
You matter and have just as much right to be here as anyone else.
I hate having siblings
If you don't have any be grateful
I hope you learn to appreciate having family. Life is hard without them.
@@sunnyedaize1262 Don't get me wrong, I like my family. It's just stressful when you have a million siblings and a small household with low income.
@Laura Nwogu Someone sounds triggered.
same
Sunnye Daize it’s hard to appreciate them whe they make your life hard everyday and you find nothing to look forward to when your with them like even just a nice conversation when your with them
Paris
It's not fair
Im the oldest of 9 kids and Im the ruler in my jungle of different personalities😉
And I was a yb Wrd 2
I don’t think it’s good that the sister is taking out all the frustration she has w her mom on the brother.. he’s 12 right. It’s not really in his hands. Hope she finds some sort of peace in her relationship w both of them. I am the younger one and my sister kind of shut me off because her relationship w my mom got strained.. and that took a lot of time to heal for both of us and is still in the process. Hope they don’t lose out on a good sibling relationship cuz of the parenting...
I think it's just the first time she's getting an outlet. She's not taking anything out on him. She even said she doesn't say a lot because she realizes it's out of his hands.
I just hope her mom heard her pain and set aside time for them to talk one on one. Clearly there are some problems there. Idk about other cultures, but as someone else said, black parents expect their girls to come from the womb mature, intelligent and mistake free. You don't get to be a stupid kid. I seriously think that's the case here and it's completely unfair.
She's a beautiful, mature, intelligent young lady and she deserves to be given the space to learn from mistakes as well as be forgiven.
She wasnt taking the frasuration on him but making it clear she is aware of the fact that she knows that the brother knows about his priveleges.a reality check for a 12 years old is good
My mom is preganteeeeee and Im not readyyyyyyy
d.e yu just told ma brudda he was a failure da otha day he aint learn nun from yu nor does he like\love yu...
Fax d.r
Older sibling= 3rd parent
My sister beat me up and made me watch chucky at a young age.
She was mean.
I thought it was his mom until they they asked about being a better sister.
A1q
I completely understand because Ive been in her shoes but Young black boys need more love nowadays.
(Accountability in action though)
They don't need more they need different
U can still love ur child without babying them. I think in the long run babying boys does more harm than good.
Black boys get the most love in the community
People like you are the problem
the older sibling is not willing to accept the younger siblings role in the family because she is angry at her mom and blames it on her younger sibling so actually the oldest is jeallous af
Not my sister I don’t look to her as a sis