This is the type of relationship I want: speaking up and get heard and get spoken in response and understand one better, which creates genuine connection between two people that came from different families, cultures, etc.
Defensiveness, passive aggressiveness, omitting, evasiveness, dismissive, minimizing, selfishness. If it happens regularly, it's not a mistake, it's a character flaw. You can't build trust and be able to count on somebody to be there for you if they won't own up to when they are wrong. The best apology is changed behavior, keep your "I'm sorry" show me you truly are. Otherwise it's just manipulative. Behind every critique is a want. If you feel your partner is always criticizing you they could be awful but it also could be you are living like you have zero concern about their needs. If you make a date night with your partner don't blow them off for 3 days streaming a show then get irritated when they are rude to you. You are glossing over you blowing them off for 3 days and now only focusing on them being short or rude to you. That mentality is impossible to bond with because they don't do no wrong and only worry about their wants. Impulsive. Hopeless. People rarely change. Even more rarely for the better.
TOM MADE LISA LAY OUT HIS CLOTHES FOR HIM. THE MAN BABY COULDN'T EVEN GET HIMSELF DRESSED. MADE HIS WIFE DRESS HIM. SAID IT WAS SO HARD FOR HIM WHEN SHE TOLD HIM SHE WASN'T HAPPY BEING HIS HOUSE WIFE (ie "slave"). This guy is a walking red flag. He has no business giving relationship advice to anyone. Lisa was a student obsessed with him, he ignored her, when he finally gave her attention and asked her on a date he showed up looking like a total slob, and told her he is an atheist, any belief in god is stupid and that he watches a lot of porn. Then made her be his wife-mom for the next 8 years. When he came home from work she wasn't allowed to talk about her day or ask him about his day. SHE WROTE ALL THIS IN HER BOOK!!!! AND YET THEY DON'T SEE HOW TOXIC THEY ARE???? FAILED FILMMAKERS WHO MADE BILLIONS IN NUTRITION BARS AND THEN PRETENDING TO BE GURUS WITH NO CREDIBILITY HAVE NO BUSINESS GIVING LIFE OR RELATIONSHIP ADVICE TO ANYONE.
I approched my recent ex in this way, exactly the way Tom described at 8.30, but she shut down and refused to communicate every time there was even a minor disagreement. I ended it quick because there is no relationship without openness and communication. Disagreements are normal, but if you refuse to communicate and understand each other, there is no basis for a relationship!
TOM MADE LISA LAY OUT HIS CLOTHES FOR HIM. THE MAN BABY COULDN'T EVEN GET HIMSELF DRESSED. MADE HIS WIFE DRESS HIM. SAID IT WAS SO HARD FOR HIM WHEN SHE TOLD HIM SHE WASN'T HAPPY BEING HIS HOUSE WIFE (ie "slave"). This guy is a walking red flag. He has no business giving relationship advice to anyone. Lisa was a student obsessed with him, he ignored her, when he finally gave her attention and asked her on a date he showed up looking like a total slob, and told her he is an atheist, any belief in god is stupid and that he watches a lot of porn. Then made her be his wife-mom for the next 8 years. When he came home from work she wasn't allowed to talk about her day or ask him about his day. SHE WROTE ALL THIS IN HER BOOK!!!! AND YET THEY DON'T SEE HOW TOXIC THEY ARE???? FAILED FILMMAKERS WHO MADE BILLIONS IN NUTRITION BARS AND THEN PRETENDING TO BE GURUS WITH NO CREDIBILITY HAVE NO BUSINESS GIVING LIFE OR RELATIONSHIP ADVICE TO ANYONE.
He sounds like how my ex was. I could not handle that in my ex and in the end we could not work out as he did not want to pause and just evaluate what he was doing. I like being efficient but at the same time I want to enjoy life and not be driven by ego. When times were slow he did not know what to do and ended up being lazy, stone walling and my funness he did not take it well, always worrying it affected his productivity. Feels like walking on egg shells basically! I admire them for making it work!
INCREDIBLE couple. I love how they know each other, listen and have done the work to understand why they do what they do, discover what truly matters to them, and why. There is compassion and healthy attention to the details in the relationship. The little things truly matter.
TOM MADE LISA LAY OUT HIS CLOTHES FOR HIM. THE MAN BABY COULDN'T EVEN GET HIMSELF DRESSED. MADE HIS WIFE DRESS HIM. SAID IT WAS SO HARD FOR HIM WHEN SHE TOLD HIM SHE WASN'T HAPPY BEING HIS HOUSE WIFE (ie "slave"). This guy is a walking red flag. He has no business giving relationship advice to anyone. Lisa was a student obsessed with him, he ignored her, when he finally gave her attention and asked her on a date he showed up looking like a total slob, and told her he is an atheist, any belief in god is stupid and that he watches a lot of porn. Then made her be his wife-mom for the next 8 years. When he came home from work she wasn't allowed to talk about her day or ask him about his day. Incredibly toxic couple, you mean.
Wow, raw truth! Headphones totally keeps out people around you. I feel alone when he has his in. But...he doesn't do it that often so i don't say anything. My daughter keeps one headphone in so she can still participate if someone has something to say...important or not
I am so appreciative of the content you both put out, it is transforming my mind for the better in every aspect of my life. Whenever I try to bring up hard conversations with my husband (been together for 7 years) he tends to resort to saying that we are fine and happy how we are. Which I agree with him we are thriving and happy, but I know that our bond and relationship could be stronger. He says that will happen over time, how do I get him to understand the value in having the hard conversations now and becoming closer as a result?
Thank you so much for this discussion. I really needed to hear it. I still haven’t learned how to speak up for fear of his response. When I finally had the courage to he dismissed my concern and blamed me. I expressed that his groping was inappropriate. We were watching a movie and without a cue from me; unexpectedly, he tried to put his hand down my dress to touch my breast. I moved his hand. A few minutes later we tried to put his hand up my dress. Again I moved his hand. I should have told him when the incident occurred but I needed time to reflect on how to approach him. I did avoid seeing him for a week; we don’t live in the same household. I did send him a text message about the concern and how I felt and what I needed. He became angry and cancelled the vacation we planned together. All I could do was calmly agree with his discussion. Now he avoiding me. So I decided to take a vacation with some friends out of the country. Right now, I don’t know if we will move forward. I did mention before leaving we need to take a few steps back to discuss expectations.
Yeah, I'm also that way and I've also always got something playing on my phone; be it a podcast or an audiobook or videos like this one or whatever, but it doesn't have to be an either/or situation like you've made it. The options you have in this situation aren't limited to 'My spouse can't reach me where I'm at, I have to be inaccessible for me to double task because it doesn't allow me to hear them' vs 'I'm not allowed to meet my needs for productivity, I have to sacrifice what I want to be accessible to my spouse' you actually can do both without anyone having to make any sacrifices. Because the great thing about us humans is we have TWO ears! I learned long ago that if I always just wear 1 earbud and keep one ear open when I'm listening to something, I can always hear anyone who might need to talk to me, and still able to accomplish everything as efficiently as I'd like to. It does definitely get tedious to always have to pause what you're listening to for you to be able to hear every time someone wants to speak to you, especially if it's something insignificant and unimportant, but just keeping one ear open allows you to be able to make the call of whether it's important enough to paused for without having to be interrupted for every single thing everyone says. But most importantly, no one ever feels like I'm unreachable or that I don't care about what they have to say and I don't have to sacrifice anything to do it!
LOL TOM MADE LISA LAY OUT HIS CLOTHES FOR HIM. THE MAN BABY COULDN'T EVEN GET HIMSELF DRESSED. MADE HIS WIFE DRESS HIM. SAID IT WAS SO HARD FOR HIM WHEN SHE TOLD HIM SHE WASN'T HAPPY BEING HIS HOUSE WIFE (ie "slave"). This guy is a walking red flag.
I admire you guys, Tom & Lisa. You are so brave to see each other, You choose each other every day. It gives me hope and truth. I send you blessings and abundance, gratitude for your channel, thank you very much.
Most toxic couple on UA-cam! TOM MADE LISA LAY OUT HIS CLOTHES FOR HIM. THE MAN BABY COULDN'T EVEN GET HIMSELF DRESSED. MADE HIS WIFE DRESS HIM. SAID IT WAS SO HARD FOR HIM WHEN SHE TOLD HIM SHE WASN'T HAPPY BEING HIS HOUSE WIFE (ie "slave"). This guy is a walking red flag. He has no business giving relationship advice to anyone. Lisa was a student obsessed with him, he ignored her, when he finally gave her attention and asked her on a date he showed up looking like a total slob, and told her he is an atheist, any belief in god is stupid and that he watches a lot of porn. Then made her be his wife-mom for the next 8 years. When he came home from work she wasn't allowed to talk about her day or ask him about his day. SHE WROTE ALL THIS IN HER BOOK!!!! AND YET THEY DON'T SEE HOW TOXIC THEY ARE???? FAILED FILMMAKERS WHO MADE BILLIONS IN NUTRITION BARS AND THEN PRETENDING TO BE GURUS WITH NO CREDIBILITY HAVE NO BUSINESS GIVING LIFE OR RELATIONSHIP ADVICE TO ANYONE.
Well Tom I admire you so damn much, cuz I can relate to EVERY SINGLE HABIT you've had or have n it's just crazy. But I just admire her more than you for some unknown reason. She has this fun but deep way of looking at the world that is difficult for me to figure out, and that curiosity just fascinates me so much. For some reason I'm happy to see you guys killing it. 🤍 Keep smiling
TOM MADE LISA LAY OUT HIS CLOTHES FOR HIM. THE MAN BABY COULDN'T EVEN GET HIMSELF DRESSED. MADE HIS WIFE DRESS HIM. SAID IT WAS SO HARD FOR HIM WHEN SHE TOLD HIM SHE WASN'T HAPPY BEING HIS HOUSE WIFE (ie "slave"). This guy is a walking red flag. He has no business giving relationship advice to anyone. Lisa was a student obsessed with him, he ignored her, when he finally gave her attention and asked her on a date he showed up looking like a total slob, and told her he is an atheist, any belief in god is stupid and that he watches a lot of porn. Then made her be his wife-mom for the next 8 years. When he came home from work she wasn't allowed to talk about her day or ask him about his day. SHE WROTE ALL THIS IN HER BOOK!!!! AND YET THEY DON'T SEE HOW TOXIC THEY ARE???? FAILED FILMMAKERS WHO MADE BILLIONS IN NUTRITION BARS AND THEN PRETENDING TO BE GURUS WITH NO CREDIBILITY HAVE NO BUSINESS GIVING LIFE OR RELATIONSHIP ADVICE TO ANYONE.
Wow Lisa and Tom - and Lisa, your hair looks fantastic! 👍🏽 - That is just sooo expanded and honest - I’m sooo impressed with the both of you. 👏🏽🌟 Tom, I would just like to put forward that I interpreted what you said as; “even in a brief moment - you don’t want to feel you’re doing something in constructive/ not learning. I would put to you that connection with a spouse - no matter how “silly” is constructive. It’s those moments that make you share smile and bring you closer together - that is Always Constructive”!! Fun and Play can be underestimated - they are necessary and supportive of overall well-being in my mind. I Love your Serendipity Lisa!! 🎯👏🏽👏🏽👍🏽😃🌈💖✨ PS I’m so pleased that falling asleep in not difficult for me - I wouldn’t want to do the whole tape thing!! - Respect though Tom for going with it and being sooo honest about it. 👍🏽👏🏽👏🏽😃🌈
I know I did this to the partner I'm going through a breakup with right now and I have deep regret about it. When we she was simply just wanting to have a moment or time with me or was being thoughtful and making time for me and visiting me at work I would treat her like she was inconveniencing me. That wasn't fair and honestly how much time did it really cost me in the short or long run to just make that time for her versus dealing with the drama and pain and discussions or arguments that were a result of me not making that time for her. So many things that could have been pretty easily fixed and addressed that I didn't see for what they really were or meant to her. I am deeply hurt and broken about what she's doing now but I see and know the role I played that made her feel her current path is is what she needs to do. I can understand but don't think I can or should excuse what's she's doing and the fact that she's doing what she's doing while we still live together and that we have kids together makes my heart break even more for my own feelings and emotions as well as the kids. I can't and won't move on in the way that she's choosing to move on for my own sake but I know that's my choice and me allowing myself to be in pain longer rather than moving on to someone else when I haven't addressed all my own issues... Because that wouldn't be fair to use someone. I'm not about that "get under someone to get over someone" mindset. I've never been alone in my life or had to figure out what happiness looked like to me on my own... How to be content and confident on my own and it's a hell of a thing to try to learn for the first time pushing 39 years old.
She visited you at work when you lived together? Why not make time for each other at home, not work. Thats odd but anyway ill move on. Giive yourself some grace, its too fresh for you to assume responsibility for the demise of the relationship. You need some distance and perspective, you wont be able to do that living together. Why is she still living with you if she's moved on? Has she really moved on or is she just trying to hurt you and prove a point? If she wants to be with another person, she needs to get her own place and let you have the space to heal and move on. I don’t know the situation, but from your comment it sounds like you may be being manipulated and taken advantage of. If you are interested, i can send you a guided meditation that can help A LOT. I listen to it often at night while going to sleep and it really does help.
What the heck!! That was honestly soooo weird bc my girlfriend showed me this video (we both watch you) and she and I were like OH MY GOD I think just like Tom and she thinks just like you! We literally had these exact problems right now and we both think. It felt like you were describing each of us directly, that felt weird
What if it's a 1 year relationship, he's helping to get clergy for your uncle's funeral, you ask if you can go together but he said he'll meet me there, "why go north to come south? " Then he cancels while I'm driving into the cemetery because he got stuck in a business call.?
I don’t like the way my wife handles my issues I have with her. She gets upset when I have an issue and immediately shuts down when I am coming to address this from a loving perspective. Then it’s up to me to nurture her reaction to my issue and my issue still doesn’t get addressed. Seems like there is only one way I should go about this and it’s the last thing I want to do. But I feel like it’s come to that point.
Sometimes I need to put Tom on slow mo & rewind to keep up 😳 I am a head phone addict too… every moment does matter for education. It seems Lisa is totally cool with this, how many other partners would be? How do you decide how much time you put aside to being “present” Steel man? Please explain this? Umm.. taping your mouth sounds weird 🤷♀️maybe some further explanation on this?
Karen, about the mouth tape, check his video about Tom's daily routine on his impact theory channel, he explains it at the end :) ua-cam.com/video/MZ1C6su0IXg/v-deo.html
Most toxic couple on UA-cam. TOM MADE LISA LAY OUT HIS CLOTHES FOR HIM. THE MAN BABY COULDN'T EVEN GET HIMSELF DRESSED. MADE HIS WIFE DRESS HIM. SAID IT WAS SO HARD FOR HIM WHEN SHE TOLD HIM SHE WASN'T HAPPY BEING HIS HOUSE WIFE (ie "slave"). This guy is a walking red flag. He has no business giving relationship advice to anyone. Lisa was a student obsessed with him, he ignored her, when he finally gave her attention and asked her on a date he showed up looking like a total slob, and told her he is an atheist, any belief in god is stupid and that he watches a lot of porn. Then made her be his wife-mom for the next 8 years. When he came home from work she wasn't allowed to talk about her day or ask him about his day. SHE WROTE ALL THIS IN HER BOOK!!!! AND YET THEY DON'T SEE HOW TOXIC THEY ARE???? FAILED FILMMAKERS WHO MADE BILLIONS IN NUTRITION BARS AND THEN PRETENDING TO BE GURUS WITH NO CREDIBILITY HAVE NO BUSINESS GIVING LIFE OR RELATIONSHIP ADVICE TO ANYONE.
was walking on the street i saw this girl walking towards me as she's about to pass me by i say hi and smile. She just walked by. What can i do differntly? I saw girl in coffee shop line up i was behind her. I tried to be should to shoulder to her so she can see me I said hi, she just looks at me then looks away. Is there a way to do something to get her to smile show interest?
If a women is interested in chatting with you then they’ll chat with you. Just because you say hi and smile doesn’t mean they are required to acknowledge you and reciprocate. She might not want to respond to your advances because that opens the door to more communication. Guys can be very aggressive once we acknowledge you and you wanting to talk to us. So sometimes it feels more safe to ignore and say nothing at all.
Omg I have this issue with mine. He is a late night owl and stays up till 4 am every night watching series gaming plus he's a streamer so he networks alot. It def affects my family the day after as his health is deteriorating an time with the family is as well but he is in so much denial an that he can function yet he uses caffeine energy drinks to cope...
Read her book for real. TOM MADE LISA LAY OUT HIS CLOTHES FOR HIM. THE MAN BABY COULDN'T EVEN GET HIMSELF DRESSED. MADE HIS WIFE DRESS HIM. SAID IT WAS SO HARD FOR HIM WHEN SHE TOLD HIM SHE WASN'T HAPPY BEING HIS HOUSE WIFE (ie "slave"). This guy is a walking red flag. He has no business giving relationship advice to anyone. Lisa was a student obsessed with him, he ignored her, when he finally gave her attention and asked her on a date he showed up looking like a total slob, and told her he is an atheist, any belief in god is stupid and that he watches a lot of porn. Then made her be his wife-mom for the next 8 years. When he came home from work she wasn't allowed to talk about her day or ask him about his day. SHE WROTE ALL THIS IN HER BOOK!!!! AND YET THEY DON'T SEE HOW TOXIC THEY ARE???? FAILED FILMMAKERS WHO MADE BILLIONS IN NUTRITION BARS AND THEN PRETENDING TO BE GURUS WITH NO CREDIBILITY HAVE NO BUSINESS GIVING LIFE OR RELATIONSHIP ADVICE TO ANYONE.
Lol Tom puts his headphones on to go and pee. So funny and I so relate to using every moment to learn... But I need to learn to be more present sometimes and not switch off if I find something boring. What types are you on the 16 personality types?
You two always confuse me during your discussions and advice. It’s never perfectly clear! I cannot watch your advice because I don’t understand what the heck you both are saying.
How do you address behaviors you want to change with your partner?
This is the type of relationship I want: speaking up and get heard and get spoken in response and understand one better, which creates genuine connection between two people that came from different families, cultures, etc.
does it exist ? (-:
@@lous.1548 I beleive to create one for myself :)
Ive been hoping for a long time,but sometimes the guy has to be right=all the time
*5 things to quit right now:*
*1. Overthinking*
*2. Trying to make everyone happy*
*3. Living in the past*
*4. Worrying*
*5. Doubting yourself*
🎯👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Defensiveness, passive aggressiveness, omitting, evasiveness, dismissive, minimizing, selfishness. If it happens regularly, it's not a mistake, it's a character flaw. You can't build trust and be able to count on somebody to be there for you if they won't own up to when they are wrong. The best apology is changed behavior, keep your "I'm sorry" show me you truly are. Otherwise it's just manipulative. Behind every critique is a want. If you feel your partner is always criticizing you they could be awful but it also could be you are living like you have zero concern about their needs. If you make a date night with your partner don't blow them off for 3 days streaming a show then get irritated when they are rude to you. You are glossing over you blowing them off for 3 days and now only focusing on them being short or rude to you. That mentality is impossible to bond with because they don't do no wrong and only worry about their wants. Impulsive. Hopeless. People rarely change. Even more rarely for the better.
Wow, truth!!!
TOM MADE LISA LAY OUT HIS CLOTHES FOR HIM. THE MAN BABY COULDN'T EVEN GET HIMSELF DRESSED. MADE HIS WIFE DRESS HIM. SAID IT WAS SO HARD FOR HIM WHEN SHE TOLD HIM SHE WASN'T HAPPY BEING HIS HOUSE WIFE (ie "slave"). This guy is a walking red flag. He has no business giving relationship advice to anyone. Lisa was a student obsessed with him, he ignored her, when he finally gave her attention and asked her on a date he showed up looking like a total slob, and told her he is an atheist, any belief in god is stupid and that he watches a lot of porn. Then made her be his wife-mom for the next 8 years. When he came home from work she wasn't allowed to talk about her day or ask him about his day. SHE WROTE ALL THIS IN HER BOOK!!!! AND YET THEY DON'T SEE HOW TOXIC THEY ARE???? FAILED FILMMAKERS WHO MADE BILLIONS IN NUTRITION BARS AND THEN PRETENDING TO BE GURUS WITH NO CREDIBILITY HAVE NO BUSINESS GIVING LIFE OR RELATIONSHIP ADVICE TO ANYONE.
I approched my recent ex in this way, exactly the way Tom described at 8.30, but she shut down and refused to communicate every time there was even a minor disagreement. I ended it quick because there is no relationship without openness and communication. Disagreements are normal, but if you refuse to communicate and understand each other, there is no basis for a relationship!
TOM MADE LISA LAY OUT HIS CLOTHES FOR HIM. THE MAN BABY COULDN'T EVEN GET HIMSELF DRESSED. MADE HIS WIFE DRESS HIM. SAID IT WAS SO HARD FOR HIM WHEN SHE TOLD HIM SHE WASN'T HAPPY BEING HIS HOUSE WIFE (ie "slave"). This guy is a walking red flag. He has no business giving relationship advice to anyone. Lisa was a student obsessed with him, he ignored her, when he finally gave her attention and asked her on a date he showed up looking like a total slob, and told her he is an atheist, any belief in god is stupid and that he watches a lot of porn. Then made her be his wife-mom for the next 8 years. When he came home from work she wasn't allowed to talk about her day or ask him about his day. SHE WROTE ALL THIS IN HER BOOK!!!! AND YET THEY DON'T SEE HOW TOXIC THEY ARE???? FAILED FILMMAKERS WHO MADE BILLIONS IN NUTRITION BARS AND THEN PRETENDING TO BE GURUS WITH NO CREDIBILITY HAVE NO BUSINESS GIVING LIFE OR RELATIONSHIP ADVICE TO ANYONE.
He sounds like how my ex was. I could not handle that in my ex and in the end we could not work out as he did not want to pause and just evaluate what he was doing. I like being efficient but at the same time I want to enjoy life and not be driven by ego. When times were slow he did not know what to do and ended up being lazy, stone walling and my funness he did not take it well, always worrying it affected his productivity. Feels like walking on egg shells basically! I admire them for making it work!
INCREDIBLE couple. I love how they know each other, listen and have done the work to understand why they do what they do, discover what truly matters to them, and why. There is compassion and healthy attention to the details in the relationship. The little things truly matter.
TOM MADE LISA LAY OUT HIS CLOTHES FOR HIM. THE MAN BABY COULDN'T EVEN GET HIMSELF DRESSED. MADE HIS WIFE DRESS HIM. SAID IT WAS SO HARD FOR HIM WHEN SHE TOLD HIM SHE WASN'T HAPPY BEING HIS HOUSE WIFE (ie "slave"). This guy is a walking red flag. He has no business giving relationship advice to anyone. Lisa was a student obsessed with him, he ignored her, when he finally gave her attention and asked her on a date he showed up looking like a total slob, and told her he is an atheist, any belief in god is stupid and that he watches a lot of porn. Then made her be his wife-mom for the next 8 years. When he came home from work she wasn't allowed to talk about her day or ask him about his day. Incredibly toxic couple, you mean.
Wow, raw truth! Headphones totally keeps out people around you. I feel alone when he has his in. But...he doesn't do it that often so i don't say anything. My daughter keeps one headphone in so she can still participate if someone has something to say...important or not
I am so appreciative of the content you both put out, it is transforming my mind for the better in every aspect of my life. Whenever I try to bring up hard conversations with my husband (been together for 7 years) he tends to resort to saying that we are fine and happy how we are. Which I agree with him we are thriving and happy, but I know that our bond and relationship could be stronger. He says that will happen over time, how do I get him to understand the value in having the hard conversations now and becoming closer as a result?
Thank you so much for this discussion. I really needed to hear it.
I still haven’t learned how to speak up for fear of his response. When I finally had the courage to he dismissed my concern and blamed me. I expressed that his groping was inappropriate. We were watching a movie and without a cue from me; unexpectedly, he tried to put his hand down my dress to touch my breast. I moved his hand. A few minutes later we tried to put his hand up my dress. Again I moved his hand.
I should have told him when the incident occurred but I needed time to reflect on how to approach him. I did avoid seeing him for a week; we don’t live in the same household. I did send him a text message about the concern and how I felt and what I needed. He became angry and cancelled the vacation we planned together. All I could do was calmly agree with his discussion. Now he avoiding me. So I decided to take a vacation with some friends out of the country. Right now, I don’t know if we will move forward. I did mention before leaving we need to take a few steps back to discuss expectations.
10:45 that killed me 🤣. Tom being super efficient while Lisa saying ‘I love you.’ You guys are awesome
Thanks for being an amazing example of they type of couple I hope to be part of some day. These videos you do are gold and so helpful.
Yeah, I'm also that way and I've also always got something playing on my phone; be it a podcast or an audiobook or videos like this one or whatever, but it doesn't have to be an either/or situation like you've made it. The options you have in this situation aren't limited to 'My spouse can't reach me where I'm at, I have to be inaccessible for me to double task because it doesn't allow me to hear them' vs 'I'm not allowed to meet my needs for productivity, I have to sacrifice what I want to be accessible to my spouse' you actually can do both without anyone having to make any sacrifices.
Because the great thing about us humans is we have TWO ears! I learned long ago that if I always just wear 1 earbud and keep one ear open when I'm listening to something, I can always hear anyone who might need to talk to me, and still able to accomplish everything as efficiently as I'd like to.
It does definitely get tedious to always have to pause what you're listening to for you to be able to hear every time someone wants to speak to you, especially if it's something insignificant and unimportant, but just keeping one ear open allows you to be able to make the call of whether it's important enough to paused for without having to be interrupted for every single thing everyone says. But most importantly, no one ever feels like I'm unreachable or that I don't care about what they have to say and I don't have to sacrifice anything to do it!
This conversation was soooooo real and soooooo great!!!! Thank you both.Much love and keep it going!!!!
LOL TOM MADE LISA LAY OUT HIS CLOTHES FOR HIM. THE MAN BABY COULDN'T EVEN GET HIMSELF DRESSED. MADE HIS WIFE DRESS HIM. SAID IT WAS SO HARD FOR HIM WHEN SHE TOLD HIM SHE WASN'T HAPPY BEING HIS HOUSE WIFE (ie "slave"). This guy is a walking red flag.
I admire you guys, Tom & Lisa. You are so brave to see each other, You choose each other every day. It gives me hope and truth. I send you blessings and abundance, gratitude for your channel, thank you very much.
Most toxic couple on UA-cam! TOM MADE LISA LAY OUT HIS CLOTHES FOR HIM. THE MAN BABY COULDN'T EVEN GET HIMSELF DRESSED. MADE HIS WIFE DRESS HIM. SAID IT WAS SO HARD FOR HIM WHEN SHE TOLD HIM SHE WASN'T HAPPY BEING HIS HOUSE WIFE (ie "slave"). This guy is a walking red flag. He has no business giving relationship advice to anyone. Lisa was a student obsessed with him, he ignored her, when he finally gave her attention and asked her on a date he showed up looking like a total slob, and told her he is an atheist, any belief in god is stupid and that he watches a lot of porn. Then made her be his wife-mom for the next 8 years. When he came home from work she wasn't allowed to talk about her day or ask him about his day. SHE WROTE ALL THIS IN HER BOOK!!!! AND YET THEY DON'T SEE HOW TOXIC THEY ARE???? FAILED FILMMAKERS WHO MADE BILLIONS IN NUTRITION BARS AND THEN PRETENDING TO BE GURUS WITH NO CREDIBILITY HAVE NO BUSINESS GIVING LIFE OR RELATIONSHIP ADVICE TO ANYONE.
Well Tom I admire you so damn much, cuz I can relate to EVERY SINGLE HABIT you've had or have n it's just crazy. But I just admire her more than you for some unknown reason. She has this fun but deep way of looking at the world that is difficult for me to figure out, and that curiosity just fascinates me so much. For some reason I'm happy to see you guys killing it.
🤍 Keep smiling
TOM MADE LISA LAY OUT HIS CLOTHES FOR HIM. THE MAN BABY COULDN'T EVEN GET HIMSELF DRESSED. MADE HIS WIFE DRESS HIM. SAID IT WAS SO HARD FOR HIM WHEN SHE TOLD HIM SHE WASN'T HAPPY BEING HIS HOUSE WIFE (ie "slave"). This guy is a walking red flag. He has no business giving relationship advice to anyone. Lisa was a student obsessed with him, he ignored her, when he finally gave her attention and asked her on a date he showed up looking like a total slob, and told her he is an atheist, any belief in god is stupid and that he watches a lot of porn. Then made her be his wife-mom for the next 8 years. When he came home from work she wasn't allowed to talk about her day or ask him about his day. SHE WROTE ALL THIS IN HER BOOK!!!! AND YET THEY DON'T SEE HOW TOXIC THEY ARE???? FAILED FILMMAKERS WHO MADE BILLIONS IN NUTRITION BARS AND THEN PRETENDING TO BE GURUS WITH NO CREDIBILITY HAVE NO BUSINESS GIVING LIFE OR RELATIONSHIP ADVICE TO ANYONE.
Wow Lisa and Tom - and Lisa, your hair looks fantastic! 👍🏽 - That is just sooo expanded and honest - I’m sooo impressed with the both of you. 👏🏽🌟
Tom, I would just like to put forward that I interpreted what you said as; “even in a brief moment - you don’t want to feel you’re doing something in constructive/ not learning. I would put to you that connection with a spouse - no matter how “silly” is constructive. It’s those moments that make you share smile and bring you closer together - that is Always Constructive”!! Fun and Play can be underestimated - they are necessary and supportive of overall well-being in my mind.
I Love your Serendipity Lisa!! 🎯👏🏽👏🏽👍🏽😃🌈💖✨
PS I’m so pleased that falling asleep in not difficult for me - I wouldn’t want to do the whole tape thing!! - Respect though Tom for going with it and being sooo honest about it. 👍🏽👏🏽👏🏽😃🌈
I wait for your videos eagerly. Plz upload more frequently
right? I could litteraly listen to those two for hours!
this is pure gold! thanks!
I know I did this to the partner I'm going through a breakup with right now and I have deep regret about it. When we she was simply just wanting to have a moment or time with me or was being thoughtful and making time for me and visiting me at work I would treat her like she was inconveniencing me. That wasn't fair and honestly how much time did it really cost me in the short or long run to just make that time for her versus dealing with the drama and pain and discussions or arguments that were a result of me not making that time for her. So many things that could have been pretty easily fixed and addressed that I didn't see for what they really were or meant to her. I am deeply hurt and broken about what she's doing now but I see and know the role I played that made her feel her current path is is what she needs to do. I can understand but don't think I can or should excuse what's she's doing and the fact that she's doing what she's doing while we still live together and that we have kids together makes my heart break even more for my own feelings and emotions as well as the kids. I can't and won't move on in the way that she's choosing to move on for my own sake but I know that's my choice and me allowing myself to be in pain longer rather than moving on to someone else when I haven't addressed all my own issues... Because that wouldn't be fair to use someone. I'm not about that "get under someone to get over someone" mindset. I've never been alone in my life or had to figure out what happiness looked like to me on my own... How to be content and confident on my own and it's a hell of a thing to try to learn for the first time pushing 39 years old.
She visited you at work when you lived together? Why not make time for each other at home, not work. Thats odd but anyway ill move on. Giive yourself some grace, its too fresh for you to assume responsibility for the demise of the relationship. You need some distance and perspective, you wont be able to do that living together. Why is she still living with you if she's moved on? Has she really moved on or is she just trying to hurt you and prove a point? If she wants to be with another person, she needs to get her own place and let you have the space to heal and move on. I don’t know the situation, but from your comment it sounds like you may be being manipulated and taken advantage of. If you are interested, i can send you a guided meditation that can help A LOT. I listen to it often at night while going to sleep and it really does help.
@@show_me_your_kitties yes please
What the heck!! That was honestly soooo weird bc my girlfriend showed me this video (we both watch you) and she and I were like OH MY GOD I think just like Tom and she thinks just like you!
We literally had these exact problems right now and we both think. It felt like you were describing each of us directly, that felt weird
Oh my god you 2 are so cute ..so great to see fabulous couples so we have an example.
What if it's a 1 year relationship, he's helping to get clergy for your uncle's funeral, you ask if you can go together but he said he'll meet me there, "why go north to come south? " Then he cancels while I'm driving into the cemetery because he got stuck in a business call.?
Just wonderful !!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🙏🏻💖🌹
Great question ❤️🔥
Idk about this. Dude has headphones on all day, and tapes his mouth shut at night. I couldn’t live with anyone doing this.
I don’t like the way my wife handles my issues I have with her. She gets upset when I have an issue and immediately shuts down when I am coming to address this from a loving perspective. Then it’s up to me to nurture her reaction to my issue and my issue still doesn’t get addressed. Seems like there is only one way I should go about this and it’s the last thing I want to do. But I feel like it’s come to that point.
In my humble opinion, she doesn't think that you deserve this. Sometimes I've felt like I was not seen a person.
Reception is major!
Sometimes I need to put Tom on slow mo & rewind to keep up 😳 I am a head phone addict too… every moment does matter for education. It seems Lisa is totally cool with this, how many other partners would be?
How do you decide how much time you put aside to being “present”
Steel man? Please explain this?
Umm.. taping your mouth sounds weird 🤷♀️maybe some further explanation on this?
Karen, about the mouth tape, check his video about Tom's daily routine on his impact theory channel, he explains it at the end :) ua-cam.com/video/MZ1C6su0IXg/v-deo.html
@@pavladoe just watched this video, now it makes sense thank you 😊
You mention at the 5 minute mark 45 seconds of learning. Do you have a playlist of short snippets from others that you’ve found helpful?
Amazing videos you two! ❤️
Most toxic couple on UA-cam. TOM MADE LISA LAY OUT HIS CLOTHES FOR HIM. THE MAN BABY COULDN'T EVEN GET HIMSELF DRESSED. MADE HIS WIFE DRESS HIM. SAID IT WAS SO HARD FOR HIM WHEN SHE TOLD HIM SHE WASN'T HAPPY BEING HIS HOUSE WIFE (ie "slave"). This guy is a walking red flag. He has no business giving relationship advice to anyone. Lisa was a student obsessed with him, he ignored her, when he finally gave her attention and asked her on a date he showed up looking like a total slob, and told her he is an atheist, any belief in god is stupid and that he watches a lot of porn. Then made her be his wife-mom for the next 8 years. When he came home from work she wasn't allowed to talk about her day or ask him about his day. SHE WROTE ALL THIS IN HER BOOK!!!! AND YET THEY DON'T SEE HOW TOXIC THEY ARE???? FAILED FILMMAKERS WHO MADE BILLIONS IN NUTRITION BARS AND THEN PRETENDING TO BE GURUS WITH NO CREDIBILITY HAVE NO BUSINESS GIVING LIFE OR RELATIONSHIP ADVICE TO ANYONE.
was walking on the street i saw this girl walking towards me as she's about to pass me by i say hi and smile. She just walked by. What can i do differntly? I saw girl in coffee shop line up i was behind her. I tried to be should to shoulder to her so she can see me I said hi, she just looks at me then looks away. Is there a way to do something to get her to smile show interest?
If a women is interested in chatting with you then they’ll chat with you. Just because you say hi and smile doesn’t mean they are required to acknowledge you and reciprocate. She might not want to respond to your advances because that opens the door to more communication. Guys can be very aggressive once we acknowledge you and you wanting to talk to us. So sometimes it feels more safe to ignore and say nothing at all.
Omg I have this issue with mine. He is a late night owl and stays up till 4 am every night watching series gaming plus he's a streamer so he networks alot. It def affects my family the day after as his health is deteriorating an time with the family is as well but he is in so much denial an that he can function yet he uses caffeine energy drinks to cope...
Omg ....lol I so agree with him yes I said him sorry lovely but he explaining my perspective to a t and yet he describing the female part too
6:36 ❤️❤️
Love how real you guys are!
Read her book for real. TOM MADE LISA LAY OUT HIS CLOTHES FOR HIM. THE MAN BABY COULDN'T EVEN GET HIMSELF DRESSED. MADE HIS WIFE DRESS HIM. SAID IT WAS SO HARD FOR HIM WHEN SHE TOLD HIM SHE WASN'T HAPPY BEING HIS HOUSE WIFE (ie "slave"). This guy is a walking red flag. He has no business giving relationship advice to anyone. Lisa was a student obsessed with him, he ignored her, when he finally gave her attention and asked her on a date he showed up looking like a total slob, and told her he is an atheist, any belief in god is stupid and that he watches a lot of porn. Then made her be his wife-mom for the next 8 years. When he came home from work she wasn't allowed to talk about her day or ask him about his day. SHE WROTE ALL THIS IN HER BOOK!!!! AND YET THEY DON'T SEE HOW TOXIC THEY ARE???? FAILED FILMMAKERS WHO MADE BILLIONS IN NUTRITION BARS AND THEN PRETENDING TO BE GURUS WITH NO CREDIBILITY HAVE NO BUSINESS GIVING LIFE OR RELATIONSHIP ADVICE TO ANYONE.
Awesome!
Lol Tom puts his headphones on to go and pee. So funny and I so relate to using every moment to learn...
But I need to learn to be more present sometimes and not switch off if I find something boring.
What types are you on the 16 personality types?
3:42 wow
1:29 ❤️🎉🔥
Trust
We only consider big n tall
It's 35 seconds
I like your hair better without the braids!!
Value
Tom tapes his mouth? What in the actual F
But why care to have a relationship with somebody who is intentionally dishonest?
Look at those legs. What a stunning woman!
You two always confuse me during your discussions and advice. It’s never perfectly clear! I cannot watch your advice because I don’t understand what the heck you both are saying.