Not Letting Them Run You Out Ain't the Flex You Think It Is
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- Опубліковано 29 вер 2024
- Not Letting Them Run You Out Ain't the Flex You Think It Is
In this video, I’m diving deep into a crucial topic for Black women professionals: why fighting to stay in a discriminatory, hostile work environment is not the victory it might seem.
👉 Are you feeling the pressure to endure mistreatment just to prove you belong? 🤔 Let’s talk about why that might not be the best strategy for your well-being and career.
🛑 Mental Health Matters: The toll a toxic workplace takes on your mental health can be overwhelming and long-lasting. I'll discuss how chronic stress, anxiety, and depression are real consequences of staying in such environments.
🔍 Know Your Worth: It’s essential to recognize your value and understand that enduring discrimination isn't a measure of strength or success. You deserve to thrive, not just survive, in your professional life.
💡 Strategize Your Exit: Leaving on your terms can be empowering and liberating. In the video I share tips on how to prepare for and execute a strategic exit from a harmful workplace, ensuring you leave with your dignity and career prospects intact and some coins in your pocket.
Don’t fight to stay, fight to leave on your own terms.
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#WorkplaceRights #BlackWomenProfessionals #MentalHealth #AntiHR #CareerAdvice
If you need help navigating and/or escaping a difficult HR situation:
🌟 Grab access to the replay of My live online course, “How to ask for an exit from a discriminatory hostile workplace with 💰 and actually get it” :
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Subscribe to my website at www.theantihr-hrlady.com
AND
🌟 Grab the newly updated AntiHR documentation journal here:
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HR is not your enemy but it’s definitely not your friend. I AM.
#discrimination #wrongfultermination #workplacediscrimination #hr
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THIS IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE
No information given in this communication, on my website, in my courses, or consultations should be construed or interpreted as legal advice nor does it create a lawyer-client relationship. To determine if you are a victim of legally defined discrimination in your state or jurisdiction, consult a licensed attorney.
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Hey I’m Anne Marie
I’m a recovering HR executive and founder of the AntiHR HR Consultancy where I provide employee focused, HR advice and support.
I teach my clients how to exit discriminatory work places with severance pay without filing a lawsuit or hiring a lawyer in most cases.
It's important to note that, in some cases, pursuing legal action may be necessary for success. In such instances, I provide legal referrals as needed and deemed appropriate. It's crucial to clarify that AntiHR does not assume responsibility for the outcomes of cases post-referral and does not guarantee success for every client engagement. Legal viability is NOT a part of my assessments of the situations clients bring to me. IF you want to know whether you can file a Lawsuit CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR STATE NOT ME.
If the subjects shared on this channel are of interest to you, please hit the subscription 🔘 and the notification 🛎️, so you are notified when my next video drops.
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Your support allows me to advance the work and mission of the AntiHR, which is to help employees to know and understand their workplace rights, and to help them, especially Black women, escape, discriminatory, hostile toxic jobs with their coins 💰💰💰
Your support is everything and I thank you so much for all of it.
I am very appreciative of the many people who have watched this video and commented. But I want to be very clear that I created this space for employees and specifically for employees of color especially black women. If you don’t like it when I talk about race, white supremacy and workplace discrimination, then maybe you should not be here. I hope you know who I’m talking to. I will not tolerate people coming into this space And questioning my lived experience or the lived experience of other people of color. Use your energy to fix the system that your ancestors created. But do not come into this space and question our reality or what we say about the discrimination that we have experienced in your system. I will promptly block you and remove you and your comment. Cheers. Have the day you deserve.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Thank you!!👏🏽
Amen and thank you.
Good talk, really well stated.
This was an awesome video. You have given bw a place to have their voices heard. I'm going to share this video with my family and co-workers. Thank you for your honesty. You are appreciated.👍💯🙏😇
Sis told no lies! As somebody that works in HR I tell black folks all the time "you are not admirable because you can endure pain" Staying at a job that abuses you, or affects your mental health is not a job that you want to stay at. I want black people to gain more self worth and start choosing themselves you can't whoop a capitalist by staying at their job and enduring their foolishness because it's only going to get worse.
This video came right on time! I’ve been struggling with myself because I left a toxic environment with a black boss! However the inward battle is me thinking maybe I should’ve stayed to show them and leaving because it makes them happy
So very true.
So what should a target do, loose their good job for what?
@FoundSheep-AN her point is...if you are a target then it automatically makes the situation NOT a good job by default. That is the mindset she's talking about here.
How good is it if it's making you sick? Learn how to pivot.@@FoundSheep-AN
She's not lying when she says these jobs can make you sick...I had a job that put me in the hospital, it was so bad that my body fell ill, never again!
Walking and STAYING away from personal or professional relationships is one the best choices I've ever made in life
well said! especially loved the piece around their collective lack of empathy.
Just stumbled on your channel and you said that! After 8 years at a company and in HR when my mother passed unexpectedly in September 2023 my role was eliminated 3/2024. It made me feel as if my grieving was taking too long for them and mind you I started back to work virtually after thanksgiving 😢 it was a problem by January that I still wasn’t doing the hybrid schedule 😮I took my severance and left because they know longer served me!🙏🏽
I just found you and I am binge-watching your channel. Thank you SO much for the work you do!!
You are so welcome!
Thank You 🙏🏾
🌬Appreciation🦋
Pat, pat, pat....and dampen the sponge
If that’s the only thing you got out of watching this video maybe you shouldn’t be here
Is anyone else literally using 5 to 7 days of PTO to just chill at home because of the toxicity???
Yes. I call it SICK and TIRED day.
Same here and it's everywhere I've gone. It makes life so exhausting.
I did it this week 👀
Just came off staycation I had planned to go somewhere but due to no fault of my own the plan changed. Best vacation ever!
Me next week 🙋🏽♀️
When they start messing with you , the employer has already initiated their plan to fire you.
🌟🗝🌟
U BETTA KNOW IT!!!! CAUSE BABE IF U KNOW LIKE I KNOW👀👀U BETTA MAKE YO NEXT MOVE YO BEST MOVE!!!💯💯
Yup!!
Hello! I let them run me out but run me my money on the way out.
@@redbonemango1995 asap‼️
Black people need to understand thst HR is not for the worker. Instead they are in place for the Employer.
N E V E R
So glad you wrote this fact!
This is true…and I work in HR.
Yup
They telling us what they think of us we are not ppl we are just another thing to make money we are a Human Resource
🙌🙌🙌 I've had someone tell me, don't let them run you from your job. I said I'm not, my mental health is more important than this job, and I can get another one.
That's that conditioned thinking because you will never beat their system. You have nothing to prove, because staying longer just gives them more time to make it worse and try to discredit or black list you. They're all gangs and cowards. Knowing good and well in the street if they see you they wouldn't even come close to you or look your way. Bunch of cowards.
The person of color directly sabotaging me was my own manager, a woman of color, and she repeatedly reminded me that I needed to prove why I should be kept; as though I was on thin ice in a way others weren’t. She expected me to take blatant disrespect from her and the rest of the white staff, to advance. I hit my limit two days ago, quit silently, and started a new job the next day. I had been applying to jobs immediately after I realized I couldn’t trust the person I had to report to, and she wasn’t an ally.
Oceans of blessings
@@MomTube-i9w thank you so much. I’m determined to leave any environment where this behavior is present. I also decided to go back to school online so I can eventually work remotely for myself.
Well done!
@@niax782 thank you! 🥹
@@jayrober4834 I’m honored! I truly hope you find an opportunity that is a better match for your unique skills and needs.
Amen! It’s not worth it! I made the mistake of “fighting through the abuse” in past roles, and all it did was cause me mental and emotional harm. Toxic environments are not worth staying in!
In Jesus Name, amen.@@lester2588
So did I, nearly killed me with chest pains and anxiety!
Ive left jobs just because I didn't like the way they talk to me. I don't worship money and will not go through scrutiny or hazing to keep on. Jobs can give cult vibes. I'm not here for it.
I'm not loyal to these jobs at all!
Facts on facts. I’m not with it.
YES! This part I serve my creator. I provide a service for wages for an employer. They get it twisted until I leave.
@@rekanova3757That’s right. Especially when they are disloyal.
Yeeessss I always say they're like a cult
Honestly, so many companies discriminate. I think the reason some don't want to leave is because they feel the next company will be the same.
Thank you! I have had three in 10 years...some worse than others. I don't have any hope of finding a job that isn't toxic.
That’s a horrible reason to stay in a job. At the end of the day if you’re working incorporate America, you’re always trading one plantation for another, but if going to work, makes you sick and stressed. You need to remove yourself from that environment.
AKA scarcity mindset.
@@Kimberly-sy1uh Time to look into different fields. I hated working in the corporate world (banking, healthcare, & government). I found careers not requiring a boss to be over me. I have a class B CDL and drove buses & motorcoaches, Cosmetology License, and BSBA. One job I do seasonally is travel around the country as a Benefits Enrollment Counselor. I love that since nobody is down my back. I've also substitute teach sometimes which is iffy depending on the school & students. I learned to not put all of my eggs in one basket which is what ends up happening working the so-called "good" corporate job. It is just a bunch of miserable and catty people back-biting and making the next persn's life miserable. Right now I am SAHM since I just had a baby and let my husband focus on making the money while I take care of the baby and house. That is still an option for BW as far as being housewives with a decent husband in the home.
Different degrees of everything some will be very smooth with you and you can leave the office having enjoyed your day.
BARS. Not at all. I Finally realized this myself in 2022, when I stop giving 2effs, and quit my job so I could focus on Reorganizing, Reclaiming and Redirecting my lifes power... Now THAT'S the "flex" 💪🏾 you want
Soo facts !
I did the same thing. I left a very hostile job for another opportunity. I was there at the new job for 5 weeks because the manager resigned the week I started and his boss gave me all of his duties without having a single conversation with me or offering comparable compensation. Then by the 3rd week, I had found a path that made the most intensive process, 100% + faster. I needed his help on some of the newer changes. When I told him about it, he looked at me dead in my face and told me he didn't care. That was on a Friday evening. I had sent my resignation Monday morning because if he doesn't care, I don't care either.
I needed a reset after that.
Same!
@@longsway love it! Now that’s a BOSS move!
Good!!
I got physically sick dropping my kids off just to go battle old Hens in the office who’s kids were grown in the streets and jail… sick women in competition for inadequacies within themselves! I dipped in 2017 started a business and during the pandemic I started a second…. Get to a place where you are respected!
💯 move in silence and secretly record the discriminatory incidents.
Watch my video about recording in the workplace before you record anything🙂
I moved in silence when I quit I had previously discussed it ONLY with my immediate supervisor who then forwarded my resignation letter to HR HR at some point notified the toxic upper management and the news spread from there. I was not going to give abusers the opportunity to “talk me out” of my decision. And I was going to make a clean escape. They “brushed off” my concerns and laughed at me. They weren’t laughing when I left without informing “them”I did not say goodbye to any other management or coworkers because both mobbed me out. Therefore why should they know where I’m going
Its more likely as the employee you'll work yourself into a disease state (getting new fibroids, cancer, high blood pressure, etc) before you prove them wrong. Like Miss Sophie (The Color Purple movie) said: Don't go thru what I went thru.
So true and it’s like.. why are we sacrificing our mental and physical health? For what?
❤🙏🏿
Wow timing is perfect I am an Arab women here in Europe and discrimination is high too.
I am a top performer in my company I received so much hated and stupid sabotage from VPs.
I am in sick leave for burn out and I felt so guilty at the beginning but now I am opening my eyes.
My manager is calling messaging me every day to get me back and telling how much my expertise and drive is missed in the team.
I am getting my money and health right and will be leaving really quick.
Thank you madam.
I hope everything works out! Health and wellness is so important. I’ve seen it happen with so many hard-working women. They pour their heart and soul into their work and end up with mental health and physiological conditions after toxic environments. No job is worth it.
Wow! It's amazing how our experiences as Black Americans connect with so many people worldwide.
I'm glad her message opened your eyes to the abuse of r*cism and how it wastes and taints the quality of life.
As Black Americans, our fight has been against capitalism. The constant exploitation for profit and to make others who don't work wealthy. It's a generational cycle of abuse to people and resources.
Our main tool against r*cism and capitalism is education.
As you move forward into healthier atmospheres please continue the fight against r*cism so that others may understand and live better.
I wish you to have good health physically and mentally. You are doing the right thing. God Bless you and keep you.
👍🏾
I’m really sorry to hear about what’s happening to you in your workplace but good for you for freeing yourself. And don’t let them lure you back. I’ve worked with clients outside of the United States as well and been able to help many of them because unfortunately, HR operates the same everywhere. They are there to protect the company and they do not care about protecting employees. Protect your health with physical and mental. It’s so much more important than just making money.
Black man here. I 110% agree with every word you say. It really is programmed into us to be grateful when a yt authority figure shows us even the slightest bit of civility.
Thats a shame
I’ve definitely started to deprogram this mentality. When they’re decent I’m like as you should. Not praising them for it. It took a while.
Tuh. Not me. I’m 46 years old and I’ve never been programmed to stay anywhere I’m not wanted, nor put up with any type of mistreatment. I don’t care about white people being authority figures, and never will. I’m the only black person in my department and all my coworkers are very nice but I do not put white people on a pedestal nor do I look up to them just because they have a title. It’s probably because I’m a lawyer, but if I ever needed to report anything to HR, I would be very strategic about it, and I would already be planning my exit before I did it. Thankfully never had to do that though.
Such an important message that I wish I heard 6 years ago when I was fighting for my life staying in a job purely out of spite because I didn't want to "let the terrorists win," whole time they were winning as my mental and physical health was precipitously declining battling the anxiety and depression I had to deal with spending the majority of my waking hours in a hostile and toxic environment. Never again.
Reading these comments is so very important to me, yes I was also “fighting” just to get my foot in the door at companies, taking on crazy workloads (while all colleages left work at 5pm) only to get burnt out (and fired for being “too quiet”)
I felt for the longest time that I was the only one going thru this. I was having what felt like small heart attacks, the Dr. said it was stress related. I saved a large sum of money so that I could quit and sit and rest my mind until I am ready to be employed again. I thank GOD for his mercy and I am thankful to Ann Marie for her insight and sharing her wisdom and knowledge as HR.
Quiet as it's kept- that's why their children chose DRUGS + HOMELESSNESS from GUILT instead of participation in the system. Keep in mind- their kids are privy to ALL their parents private conversations. ALOT OF THEM OPTED OUT!❤
Inaccurate. I'm white and I was the daughter of a very successful white male lawyer. He was always going back and forth between the understanding of nothing being free to yearning for everything to be free. So I decided to try out the whole "everything is free" BS line and apply it to my life and I spent 5 years homeless. Wouldn't you know that during my 5-year period out on the streets, my dad's stomach problems evaporated into thin air? His little shining example of freedom he thought was thriving out there (ha). Well, when I came back pregnant and drug addicted to his house because I had nowhere else to stay, the stomach problems came back. It's really just the lack of understanding of the world with a lot of these rich parents who are at the same time quite domineering and abusive towards their children (yelling at their kids is an outlet for the frustrations they bear at work, abuse in the name of progress). So the children seek "freedom" out on the streets which actually just ends up being slavery and torture on the other end of things with the cops running you out of every sleeping spot you're in or being so bored out on the streets because you have nothing to do that you turn to drugs. It could happen to any race of child. It's not a function of guilt.
@@bootscootyThat you think that screaming at you is an intolerable abuse speaks volumes.
If you think wealthy are stressed, imagine being the working poor and their children...
Meanwhile, suck it up buttercup..
@@bootscooty Chile this is for BW and not you. Learn to stop trying to make everything about you.
I said SOME! Thanks For Sharing!!! PRAISE JESUS!!!
Bootscotty you literally agreed with everything she said, you were on the streets turned to drugs and opted out of having a “good life” maybe your reason wasn’t guilt. I think her wording is wrong lots of millennials often talk about how their parents were abused at work and they’re not gonna go through that, so most live unconventional lives. When she said “their” I assumed she meant rich and successful people not white.
This message is needed for BW! I have heard black women including my own grandmother say “I’m not going to let them run me out of there” while simultaneously lamenting daily about their constant harassment and mistreatment at work. I personally never cared. When it’s time to go, it’s time to go.
Of which always turns into physical sickness. No one teaches us that
This
All commentary is true and much needed. However, there are jobs in which we are our own worst enemy as well. Our own gets jealous of your skill set and position and find ways to sabotage!
Not JUST black WOMEN, I'm a black man who left my job of 15 YRS, because they tried to force the Vax on me, I had been unhappy for years and I looked at that situation as the kick in the a** I needed actually leave!💯
@vfree4579 so what do you do? Keep bouncing around? Be 50+ and still bouncing around? Voluntarily i mean. Esp if a person has a family.
I want to see more black women protect themselves in and out of the workplace. More self love, self respect and self care. Stop trying so hard for validation...you may never find it, especially when it isn't freely given. Become your own best advocate by leaving toxic people and places behind because you deserve better ❤
This is a bar!!!
It’s true! When I work, I know I deserve equality and respect, but I’m not working for that…I should get that whether I’m working or not. I work hard because that’s what my ethic tells me. If you don’t do it well, don’t do it. But my mom, who was white…She told us, “no matter what you do, how hard you work, it will never be enough. Bigots want you GONE, so don’t do that for your job, do it for YOU.” But man, when those same bigots create PIPS of things you KNOW you didn’t do, you still take it hard because you just can’t wrap your head around the hatred behind folks, even if you know it’s because they don’t wanna see your black ass in a leadership role. Esp. when all you wanna do is work and go home!
💯
Yes, don't stay. If you die, they'll have a replacement the next day and think nothing of it. We need to stand together for better treatment of the employees. They need us more than we need them.
Thank you!! Precisely!!!
HR is not your friend ever....the last employer i worked for uses layoffs as a way of letting you go... Layoffs is the new firing
I like this message.
As a trucker, my "higher ups" continue to say to me, "We feel that there's more that you have to offer versus what you give us!'
My response is, "I give y'all what y'all give me! Nothing more or less! I'm not your workhorse!" 💯
Oh, the nerve of me!😂 👀
That right there.
Yeah I can tell my boss feels this. Meanwhile everyone else is mediocre af. But they looking at me to be the magical negro. Idk what yall talking bout im just me. And I’m not over performing because im naturally better than you all. I’m no executive. Got me messed up 😂
@@newme1813 amen brotha!
I always leave if my mental or my health is at stake.
Yes, same here💯
Same here
This woman here is a gem. People, please take heed to what she is saying, and let's support and grow this channel.
She definitely has my attention.
You said it all 👏🏽! I've bern saying that for years. Move on with your health and sanity. There's an entire world out there. These jobs are for only a season, especially when the bullsh*t begins.
I have zero desire to fight . Exit plan in progress.
Empathy- work at a hospital- we had a training - most of the workers felt you did not need empathy to work with sick 🤢 children. Go figure….
Yes!! I work at a children’s hospital and I tell you these people are not what they appear. I am leaving in August. Two years and I just CANNOT do it. Almost demonic if ya ask me.
I worked with other nurses that had zero empathy towards patients and other staff members. I observed other nurses mocking their patients in pain. It's crazy that a field that is supposed to be based on compassion and care has so many people devoid of empathy.
That’s why so many Nurses are supporting RaDonda Vaught. A lot would do the same thing she did.
You don't need empathy to work in a hospital??? unbelievable...now I see mindset of many who entered teaching 😮
I will never work in healthcare ever again. Demonic is an understatement! It's run by a bunch of psychopaths. The truly empathic workers get bullied out.
Praying for Severance and new opportunities for everyone in the Chat. Be with us and bless us Lord.
🙌🏾
Thank you. Praying the same for you.
Amen! Blessings to you.
Thank you and God bless you🙏🙏
My ex-employer let me go after being there 11 years. However, I had documented proof of the things that were being done to me. Needless to say I left there with a very large check. Three months later I found another job which I am currently employed.
Good for you!!!💃🏾🙂
Same here 11 years at a reputable company and realized it was definitely time to move on. I was a bit hurt at first but am looking forward to what's ahead.
This is the exact message I have regarding relationships! Staying and enduring abusive treatment, mental or physical, is NEVER a flex.
Never stay where you're not wanted. There lost, not yours
It is so sad when you work in environments like that. I'm constantly dealing with issues like this but I get it more from my own race of people!!!! Management enjoy having me but I REFUSE to work in hostile work environments. I literally told my manager that I'm looking elsewhere. For me, it's time for a NEW career change for me and it's here 🙌🏾🤗 . I'm not worried about nothing because I serve a GOD who has NEVER failed me.
This is so affirming to me. I entered the corporate force in 2006 and realized quickly that corporate HR is not your friend and stay and fight aint it. I have collected 3 pretry nice severance checks and went independent contractor from 2011 and have never looked back.
I wish my sister could have heard you. She got cancer from her toxic work shituation. I was hoping we’d grow old together.
I’m so very sorry to hear that. My condolences to you.
@@theantihr thank you. But everything you said is Spot On!
❤🙏🏾
😮. Please accept my condolences.
A lot of us not only fight to prove "they are not going to run me out of here," but also to keep working just as hard and to "demand" respect for doing both. I've watched colleagues take on more and more, sometimes voluntarily, for the "greater good." Anything to suggest that they could quietly recalibrate is often met with resistance and a recitation of how things should be.
If hard work and not being run out were enough, things would have changed a long time ago.
#TeamStrategic
#TeamEaseAndFlow
#TeamAware
Well said
Love this!
I agree! Nothing will ever change if we keep giving in
Yess!! This was me, then I left and chose mental, physical and emotional health.
Thank you! My friends tease me for being a serial job hopper. I don't care! I'm not staying at a job where I'm disrespected, bullied, held to an impossible standard (while everyone else in the office can be incompetent), etc. Yes, I will get a new job and leave with NO shame!
This
Choosing sanity over stress is a real BOSS move!! Keep doing what you're doing 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
As a millennial BW, this is so refreshing and affirming. I left what everyone around me considered to be a “good job” because I caught onto the bullying & retaliatory tactics. I was firm on vocalizing my boundaries and I also expressed that I wasn’t comfortable allowing a job to benefit from my great skills while treating me poorly. With class, I chose my peace & mental health over a paycheck and didn’t look back. What’s ironic is…I was told by several people (who are still there) that I was “very brave,” I “made the right choice,” and they wish they would’ve had the courage to do what I did. What’s even more ironic? Some of them are in HR and none of them are BW. Moral of this story is…people are always aware of underlying abuse in the workplace - whether spoken or unspoken. As uncomfortable as it may be, we have to advocate for ourselves. Especially as BW. This message is so timely and speaks volumes. Thank you so much for this. 🙏🏽❤
You are so right. People know when the work environment is not healthy. They just choose not to do anything about it. So we have to choose not to stay because it does not serve us.
@@theantihrYep. At my job that I’m leaving, everyone is afraid to speak up about the situations…except me. I will not tolerate abuse and disrespect for a few dollars. My coworkers also said the same things to me, all white coworkers. They said what I did was smart and courageous
My dad taught me to not get myself in financial debt. He told me to keep my finances in order so that I can ALWAYS WALK. Black Creole Man from South Louisiana born in the 1940s. Hired on the first team of educated and visibly Black Men at Exxon Mobil at the time Standard Oil. And yes they got the smartest and the brightest.
🌟🗝🌟
Not discrimination because I had black women hazing me. I quit my teaching job due to bullying. It impacted my health and everything. I left. Best decision ever.
Yeah some people get ulcers,strokes and neurological disasters
BW are known bullies in the WP too especially towards BW and in mostly BW dominated fields and work spaces.
Totally agree. And I'll tell you this. While in a union job.
90% of all jobs is getting to work on time. And then the rest is your supervisor responsible. Now those work harder than anyone in the building people. Hated me, didn't like me for having that kind of attitude. They'll take all the work. Then get mad cause I wouldn't fight or complain about it. My view is I'm only here for the pay. Not to make you like me. Any time a coworker or supervisor tried to mistreat me. I let them & HR know that I'm blaming the company for putting us all in a hostile environment. Cause that who we work for. And everyone just left me alone.
And I retired the way I wanted. Right at the beginning of the pandemic with a extra years pay, 401k pension and unemployment check. Because of the pandemic it was considered a forced retirement.
That’s the spirit 👍🏽💪🏽
🌟🗝🌟
Same any unionized job is where it’s at💯
If I feel I have to compromise my values or morals, I'm walking. If I feel you are abusing me, I'm walking! If you do not acknowledge my value, I'm walking. Not letting them run you off is conditioning is speaking. Excellent topic.
The problem is the next job will likely be toxic too.
Well damn 😂
A job is not a life-sentence. I work to live. I don’t live to work. I will not stay where I am not wanted or where my mental health is compromised. I don’t owe anyone anything. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone.
A job is also not an endurance test
ALL Educators need to hear this!!!
Yes, because we are really going through it in the education sector. My goodness.
😂Right, ESP here
Especially with the lack of pay in education. The DISRESPECT.
I wholeheartedly agree, I left my job, clearly told them to kiss my @$$! I had no problem leaving - I will not be disrespected, mishandled nor mistreated.
My presence will always be missed, yearned for and needed.
Thank you for caring enough to share the difficult part and the path forward out of the toxic racist work culture! Hard to hear because my hyper-productivity and perfect performance programming is deep. But, deeper down I know you are right. Appreciations!
This is sooooooo true. Please share with a young black woman. I learned this the hard way. And I will add if your boss is black but the culture of your office or their boss is like this, you will still get abused.
As a black man, I really enjoyed the video. I enjoyed it so much that I shared it and subscribed to your channel.
Thank you and welcome!
I wish I knew about your channel before I left healthcare, a couple of years ago. The environmental became unnecessarily toxic, unhealthy, and very Mean Girls energy. Several of my Black women coworkers in cahoots with a wyte woman, spun a false narrative that I hated my clients and my job. I've never expressed that.
I went to my Black woman supervisor to get support and she didn't do anything. For the sake of my mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health, I walked away from my job. I experienced mobility challenges from the stress from that job.
I'm looking for more optimal, balanced, healthy job opportunities. I believe most traditional workplaces are unhealthy for Black women. A toxic job or workplace is like being in an abusive relationship or marriage. Get out ASAP. 😢😢
A supervisor sent me an email filled with nothing but lies. Even though she was smiling in my face, God gave me a vision of her and revealed she was trying to get me fired. So I took that email to HR and line by line disputed and exposed the lies. She didn't like the feedback she received from the department manager.
I’m so thankful for the advice you are dishing out. I wish I had come across your videos at the beginning of this school year. I had the most devastating experience this year and could have really used your services. I’m still dealing with this job because my past principal is trying to get me blackballed with other districts.
Can you transfer to a different county or state or teach online?
In Florida it's less money and toxicity is of course all over.
I'll be praying for your smooth and successful transfer. Amen
Remember when the praises go up, the blessings come down. Rejoice for receiving what you want. Feel the relief and the peace. That devil who sees your light and talent has no authority over your life. May they reap the harm they have sown.
Amen
@@Joyful_Smilesthank you so much for this. God bless you.
Great video as always! Just wanted to offer a different perspective-I chose to wait to be terminated rather than negotiating an exit after raising a discrimination complaint. Interestingly, the discrimination stopped, though I know this might not be everyone’s experience. Officially, my termination was labeled as a layoff and occurred within three months of my complaint, which I argued was retaliatory. This significantly strengthened my position in severance negotiations, allowing me to secure a much better package. Additionally, being terminated qualified me for unemployment benefits, something I would have missed out on had I resigned. Plus, remaining employed made my job search much easier. Love your advice, just wanted to share an alternative approach that worked out well for me.
This is not an alternative approach per se as I have advised employees on taking this approach. Every workplace situation is different so this strategy won’t work for everyone. But in many cases, it will .If you can prove discrimination in your workplace, you always have leverage when it comes to negotiating a separation with severance it’s a big part of what I teach my clients. If they try to lay you off and claim it’s for business reasons if you can prove discrimination, you can still negotiate your way out the door. I’m pretty sure I did a video about this as well where I explained how employers use “layoffs” to get rid of employees who raise discrimination claims, and I explained how to push back.
Thank you for letting people know its OK to leave.
Yes I need this message instead of the guilt from others encouraging me to stay.
It really truly is OK to leave
@@Cerez78. Same! Those with the “you’re letting them win” speech. Nope You’re a winner for taking a stand. The only ones who are “letting them win” are the enablers who applaud and support rancid leadership.
You’re right. It just brings more stress on the person. The company could care less
This! I dealt with this toxic racism- not at work, but at my apartment complex. I Did NOT stay and fight. My Justice was - I immediately left and publicly embarrassed them. Made a video and everything. That was my Justice.
Right on time! I said the very thing to my girlfriend. Thank you! It’s exhausting. A few months to my full pension 😑
You are so welcome
You earned the right to relax from your retirement, you worked hard for it. Every job since 2020 has been toxic. Some people are jumping out of the frying pan into the sauce pan...HR is the problem, always have been and always will be ✌🏾
Every time i watch one of your videos, which is rare, it just reinforces for me that HR is not your friend. Its a department of people who have no real expertise and are authority adjacent. The first mistake black people make is going to HR for consult lol. Keep your mouth shut, head down, and especially if HR has black folks, stay away!
Exactly
My old boss was a total martyr and really thought it was a flex to “stick it out”. I left that place so damn fast their heads were spinning. No job is worth your physical, mental, or emotional health.
I agree with you. 3 years after filing for retirement, I wish I had quit earlier when they were doing everything to run me out. I stayed til my money was straight. However, it was at great cost to my wellbeing.
1:39 I’m glad I’m not the only one not buying the so called inflation nonsense that was obviously artificially made by corporations
i havent been at any job where there wasnt antiblackness. thats why I have stayed where I am now for so long. i guess some places are worse than others though.
So the job your at is horrible?
I wish that I would have heard this type of message years ago. Thank you for this; it really resonated.
You are so welcome
lol.....PEACE is far more valuable than "winning"
Luckily, I've always known this. I was put in the very same position a few times and as I got older I got wiser to the game that is played with people in general, but definitely with black people. I've been in management, and as an associate and been subject to discrimination of this type. Knowing your worth for yourself is of utmost importance in work environments. Also, always have your own back and play your cards close to your chest. There is always someone trying to use people as scape goats and deflecting their low quality work ethics on to someone else. Blacks do themselves no favors, becoming loud argumentative and baligerant. Even when you have a good job, always have options.
You hit the nail on the head with how the United States operates.
The lack of empathy is palpable in the U.S.
At an early age, in my 20s, I learned early on not to stick around with an employer if I felt abused or not utilized for the job properly. I guess you could call it my intuitive mind or God minded, but I always had the insight to not stay IF I did not feel right- that Gut feeling. I Never told anyone on the job my plan to leave, I just DID it... and many times they did not see it coming! 😅. I did it for my own sanity and well being.
Same
Great advice. I spent a little under a year in a company with leadership thst on one hand told me that I was the problem and on the other hand honored everyone else's vacation days but never mine because I was that vital. I kept pushing myself harder which was counterintuitive because they already knew how good i was and they resented me for it. When I quit, half the staff was fired in a month. I found out that my manager had wanted someone else to get the job that I had been given as an outside hire. Inter office politics and friendships that we don't know about are often at play when we are an outside hire and not an internal promotion.
I worked in a corporate setting for 20 years. Everything you're saying is truthful, Queen. Be self employed is less stressful.
This is my philosophy. I do not hesitate to resign😂😂😂. I’ve been able to increase my income by not giving ffs about these people.
The thought of starting over - yet again - at another workplace, can be more terrifying than staying where it's "better the devil you know".
I can understand staying and enduring.
Facts! Plus you reach an age & stage in life in which you’re tired of looking for the next “better” job! Although I don’t have any of the problems with my current job that she talked about, I HAVE had a job or 2 or 3 which presented ALL those challenges and more!
In 2015 I was fired from a job in which I did absolutely nothing wrong! HR just told me I wasn’t a good FIT for the office I was in! I am a very quiet, meditative person who doesn’t get involved in office shenanigans of any kind! I stay to myself & do my job to the best of my ability. This office environment was loud & abrasive and wholly toxic (unfortunately mostly black females). For a quiet person, constant chatter is a lot to take in along with outbursts from various people throughout the workday! It was a lot! However, since I didn’t have the sense to leave, I feel that God had a hand in removing me from that toxicity AND when the time was right, He placed me where I am right now! Talk about a night and day difference 🙏🏾! He delivered me to a place in which I got the peace and quiet I craved with an added bonus of being able to work from home!!!! It’s been 8 years, and I have been working from home since 2020!!!!! I absolutely 💜 it!
My sisters and brothers, please hold on and trust in God for he WILL make a way out of what seems like no way! I AM A LIVING WITNESS!
Peace and Blessings to you all💜💜💜
I agree 100%. I think that we are in a position where we don’t have to stay and fight as hard. There are other opportunities out there that will meet our needs. Why stay and suffer around people that are giving you daily micro-aggressions to the point where it’s stressing you out and making you sick. Wipe the dirt off your feet and go. Go where you can have peace, I believe there’s peace available for all of us somewhere. Thank you for this message!!!
Peace is precious. I'm making my move to leave my toxic job as no paycheck is worth being used and abused.
Girl I'm sitting here drinking my water smiling like hmm, so i wasnt crazy for leaving all them jobs. 😂 Someone does see life the way i do. It's really no sense in being at a job that's making me feel more bad than it does good. And thats the point at which i leave. These employers are out of their mind half the time. We gotta stop bowing to money and a title. As i sit on the couch BROKE, it's better than the workplace shenanigans that my previous employer was up to .
Heard an interesting study in my sociology class about how kids raised in upper class and upper-middle class are taught to question authority, whereas kids who grow up in working class homes are taught to obey authority. There is a social capital that people of different socioeconomic classes receive that impacts their life's trajectory. Of course you add into the mix other social dynamics (raci'sm, ableism, s'exism, etc) and it gets amplified. An interesting thing to be aware of and look out for
All my life I had to fight! 😠. 😂Madea type. I agree with you. I made the resolution that I was going to fight to leave at some point. God gave me the wisdom and the years of experience.
Spot on. You mention workplaces in corporate America more than one time. Truth be told, I think everything that you say applies to noncorporate workplaces, too.
You're so eloquent. Thank you for this
You are so welcome
Ma'am I have been speaking on this spirit of servitude by our people in cooperate America for soooo long! It is detrimental and damaging to our well-being and progress...thank you for this whole video. Everything so so true!
Thanks for sharing!!
Stop allowing yourselves to fall in love with or emotionally tied to employers.
She’s absolutely right. My response has been to quietly wait them out like they’re doing me. Not working harder to try to win them over. Admittedly I did at first. Now I’m just doing me and on their time. It’s working for me so far but is only a stop gap measure at this point.
I left a school that was great pay, good kids, wanted to retire but the principal was trash and the district and union knew it. I gave her two years of my life. I was in pain physically and emotionally. I gained at least and extra 30 lbs in two years, mostly during the second year. I said to myself, if you come back here then you will surely have a stroke or a heart attack. The woman was horrible. I left. Peddled around for a year and found a new school and district where I could finally breathe. But what was crazy, the day I resigned, I was still in a lot of physical pain but it just lifted like 60% mentally. She's not a principal after the new superintendent came two years later. They stuck her in an office filing papers. She's now queen of the files.😅
I hear you. I wished I had strategized an exit. It was not worth my sanity. I quickly found another job. I was gonna give the two weeks but came in with my equipment on a day I was to work from home after receiving my official offer letter (new job) and dropped their computer off and resigned, Johnny on the Spot. My boss exclaimed oh you decided to work in the office today, I said nah, I came in to quit. It Felt good, especially since they were so disrespectful to me. I walked away with a big smile and felt spiritually and physically lighter.
Staying when you have a reason to i.e. to gather evidence or you're waiting out a deadline, etc makes sense, but staying just for your own pride is foolish
Everything you stated is so true! I dug in to fight for my job and was almost hospitalized with stress-related illnesses. The effect on my confidence and health was devastating and took some time to overcome. Thank you for your advice!
I love this lady!!!! She gets it!
I've had 25 jobs over the last 10 years, beleve it or not. But, I kept moving from one messed up job to the next. Thank God I was so close to my retirement age. The last job I had was a group of young Black women and men who tried to gaslight me. It was very stressful. Thank you for this message. I knew, I wasn't crazy about what was happening to me.
This is a much needed message. I am in the middle of a 1 year probation period, up in September of this year. And I felt bad about thinking about leaving because my supervisor is awesome. But the staff is toxic. This is a government job, and people tell me I have a good job, but mentally I don't feel it. I have experienced racism, impartiality and favoritism since working here. Management does nothing to help.
The federal government is one of the worst places when it comes to discrimination and hostile toxic work environments.
I worked in a company for six years had a great manager until a new VP came in. She made everyone’s life miserable. She was not very smart as she had the audacity to put her racist views in an email I got a severance package everyone in my dept quit or moved to another dept. I think I got the better deal. No job is with the abuse, why work for people who don’t respect you, the powers that be are profiting from our labour we are only getting penance.
I worked at the most expensive University in Georgia and at some point it became an issue with me not getting the vaccine. I was bullied and harassed and treated like filth. HR was even in on the shenanigans. Eventually I decided to leave with my integrity and with my professionalism intact as they were doing their best to bring the sister grill out of me and I refuse to allow people to take me out of my element.
You were smart to opt out of the shot.
The spirit behind the vaccine lets me know the energy operating behind it. People become really hostile and I do not trust the vaccines. I use to but now it’s all about us being silenced and coerced into taking it.
This is very true. I have left great paying jobs because my peace and mental health is worth more than anything and everything .I know so many black women , whom choose to stay and fight . Which is crazy because they are being mistreated and used . I have even been called a Princess by a sistah because I will leave . Lol I would rather walk away with my dignity , mental health and physical health in tact then to have this silly label as a STRONG black woman . Which only means that she is willing to endure abuse . No thank you. In my opinion the woman whom walks away is the strongest . We as black women really do need a mental software update .
I've always walked, especially in nursing. You not going to add on to my parenting stress. Great video thanks for sharing
This the amount or racial stress in nursing is insane that’s why I move around the way I do it’s not worth the headache
Me too. Nursing is the worst!
I haven't really had that problem on this job . Been on it for 3 years went from $14.50 to $20.00 a hour now . I only took one day off the hold time on the scene. And you are right if you're being disrespected get the fuck out .