Explaining To Non-addicts Why Staying Clean Can Be Very Difficult For Many
Вставка
- Опубліковано 4 сер 2024
- Follow Me!
Go to FreeFromHell.com
Facebook: / theryandperspective
Twitter: / freefromhell1
UA-cam: / ryandonnellyperspective
Contact Me:
If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions for new videos, please leave them below or email me at: info@calmsupport.com
Check back daily as I vlog 5 days a week, please like and subscribe!
I was an addict for 10 years heavey using everyday. I would get clean and relapse again and again. I wasted so much time and money I just can't seem to forgive myself for this. I sometimes feel like I have destroyed my life. I'm 40 years old with 20,000 $ in the bank I feel like such a looser 11 months clean. I hope there is still a future for me never going back to that shit again. I relapsed so many times till I had enough. To everyone out there struggling be strong you can do it. It's time to wake up from this nightmare. I love you all.
Cliff Konkle 35 in 2 weeks and I have $1000. Trust me someone always has it worse. You aren't as bad off as you feel.
Lone Ranger YA thanks for helping me see the truth. I just get so blinded by my shit. You rock brother. Keep going.
Lone Ranger Thank you sir
Cliff Konkle keep your head held high. Your not a loser and your living a sober life. Don't let anyone tell you different. I felt the same way and the way I changed was to try everyday to "Pay it Forward" no matter how small it may be ie saying hi to a total stranger, offer your insight on this page, or live your life with a smile on your face. I'm around the same age and know how you feel, we both walk in the same shoes. Remember your here for a reason, thank you for sharing your post brother.
Jason Peduzzi Thank you so much for your kind words it means alot. much love friend.
I can’t believe you’re gone, you helped me through so much ❤️😭
Gone? Did he die?
@@b4mbi4000 yes
Wild Child Tarot what happened?
@@viscachamusic8824 honestly I'm not sure, but I believe I heard it was a blood clot.
I know, he's made a massive difference in my life too, I'm clean because of Ryan, God bless him ❤
Only just discovered your channel Ryan, then discovered that you have passed 😥 you were and continue to be an amazing source of inspiration for many many people, and you will have undoubtedly saved many peoples lives. At least you got clean and lived your last years clean and made a massive positive difference to this world. I'm so sad to hear this but you will live on forever on UA-cam, in your families heart and in mine. Love you Ryan ❤ RIP 😥😪😓🥺 your family must be so incredibly proud of you x
One of his very best videos made! You can still feel the pain and struggle of recovery in his voice and in his eyes. RIP Ryan. Sad you left us so early! So sad
I appreciate your channel man. I'm from New Orleans and I have battled my heroin addiction for 13 years now. In and out of detox and rehab for all 13 years.. completely destoyin everything and everyone in my path. With no care in the world. It's embarrassing. And I beat myself up about it because I'm not that kind of person. Monday I jump back into my revolving door of detox and rehab. Everyone asks my why do I still go if I just relapse everytime.for 13 years. And I just say Its not that hard when I have always lived my life with the main goal is to get off of heroin. While still doing heroin. I will never quit tryna quit. And for 13 years I have lived trying to quit that it's second nature.
I'm exhausted! Literally. Exhausted. But I still see the light and a life off heroin. And I will get there one day. I refuse to let this drug be the God of my life for the rest of my life. I will shake this and win!!
Seeing your videos motivating people and answering questions and sticking up for the addict to people who can't and will never understand . You get nothing but straight respect from me. Thanks
Sorry for posting so late, but I just felt a need to comment. I'm 14 days clean for the first time in over 10 years. I was a functioning addict. Worked, had a nice house, provided for my family well, but I was secretly sick. Now that I'm determined to get clean for the first time in my life. I'm finding out now, my friends, and family have a very hard time understanding what I'm going through. I completely understand. It's like a war veteran having post war syndrome symptoms afterwards. I would never be able to fully understand, unless I myself went through it. To me though, it does not negate the fact, that they need emotional support. I believe that beating an addict down, and focusing on their past, and bringing up their faults is counter productive. It's like a runner running a race. It's better to cheer them on, verses booing them. I'm not asking for special treatment. I know I have to prove myself, and more importantly, ask for forgiveness. I just want someone putting their arm around me, and encouraging me, at times. I have to focus on the fact that I'm completely determined to stay clean, forever. I have not been this successful in all the previous times that I've failed to reach this amount of time sober. The difference now is, I'm determined. I'm set on being successful. Bringing up my past, and focusing on my faults is counter productive for me, it seems. Yes, I need to take responsibility for my short comings, and I've already asked for forgiveness from everyone that I've wronged. But it just feels like they really haven't forgiving, or forgot yet. Again, not looking for special treatment, or wanting people to feel sorry for me. Just a muster seed of empathy. It seems that I'm only finding that with other addicts, and recovered addicts. Those who truly understand the pain, and agony we go thru, while struggling to stay clean. It's definitely disappointing to not find that empathy from non addicts. Sometimes, just the opposite. More of a , "Hey, pull your boot straps up, and be a man".
How are you now brother? Still clean??
just stay clean 1 day at a time. dont overwhelm yourself with saying "forever" only thing that you need to do is stay clean 1 day at a time.. repeating that and going to meetings AA or NA helped me alot. 10 plus yrs using opiates everyday I understand we're done and want to say boom done forever clean... just focus on today man. Goodluck it's not an easy battle but with meetings and 1 day at a time can and will be done. Way better life.
@@cliffkonkle3467 Still clean
@@Pete23269 Thx bro
Hope you made it through Brother.
I still come back to watch him talk ever so often. Bless you sir
Man hearing you talk makes me realize how bad I need to get into more NA meetings. I'm trying to regain sobriety after a pretty bad relapse one of many but just being able to hear you talk it makes me feel so much better because as an addict we know exactly how the person feels where as you have to explain things to people who aren't addicts. My biggest problem with NA is the total structure but I'm at the point where I need to try new things and I enjoy having open discussion with people who have had similar experiences
25 days off opiates today. Still having restless nights and still going through aches and pains but man what a weight off my shoulders knowing im getting through this. Most agonizing thing I've been through in life but getting through it one day at a time. So glad I found your videos during the very early withdraws. I really though I would be taking pills the rest of my life. They consumed my every thought and action. Bitting the bullet just feels like I'm finally free from those chains. Thanks for all you've done Ryan.
Richard SPPD Hey Richard. Hope you’re doing good? I’m 12 days off today and although not feeling normal every day gets better and freedom is worth it! 👍🏼
I'm a recovering addict 6 years now,and when you really physically hurt so bad because most of us start out legitimately with a pain problem,the pain alone will intise you to use. I just learned to get off on the pain. Least I could do with all I hurt.
Man this touched me so much. I believe I saw this a couple years ago but damn it feels good to know someone else knows exactly how I feel. Your appreciated so much Ryan nvr forget that. When I was going thru wd and also very hard mentally times after wd, it felt good having u In my corner even tho u don’t know me. I nvr would comment or like videos before bc when I would watch ur videos a couple years ago I would be literally using watching and feeling pity and ashamed but at the same time having some kinda hope. Now I can feel comfortable talking about it and commenting. It feels good to be able to do this. Thanks again and I’m sure I’ll thank u again in another video that touches me lol.
Thanks Ryan
You hit the nail right on the head. It's one thing to get clean but then have
to mop up the mess you created. All the while staying clean.
Going through that now......
Hey Ryan I know video can be old ect , I just wanted to personally thank you , I'm on day 36 off subutex cold turkey and you have been my top 1 outta 3 videos that have kept me sane during this long hard time. Videos all hours of the early morning ect , without it I may have lost my path, that said I'm glad to be apart of this recovering family and wanted to let everyone know you WILL come out stronger and happier than ever before. Thank you for developing calm support my goodness what a life saver !!!!!! Keep doing what your doing bud, I hope your family is well and healthy 👐happy holidays , much appreciation brother
@doug robertson He didn't relapse. He had problems with blood clots. He finally had a blood clot get to his lung and it killed him. Please don't put it out there that he relapsed. It will discourage a lot of people who have been motivated by him.
You are so right...and I've never thought about it that way. You're awesome! Thanks for this!
5 days clean today. I watch your videos everyday. Rest in Power ❤️🙏🏻🤘🏻
I hope you are still kicking ass. Sending LOVE friend
Awesome post. At time the rants lead to the best inspirational post. So true the mental is the real battle even though it can influence the physical. Seems like you're always in a mental war within your self every day. And complete discipline is needed over the long haul to win and end that war.
been an addict for 3 years and had enough. watching Ryan's videos actually helped. thanks for what you do brotha. you help more people than you know.
Thank you for your candor. People living on the periphery NEED to be able to understand. We cannot have enough knowledge in order to walk alongside those we love in this struggle
Thank you so much for sharing. These really help me. Your videos I've been watching on and off the last few years now . So many people don't understand like we do the ones who have lived it. And the suffering we have gone through . Even talking about it publicly and having people talking and judging and being up your past , and always using these things against us to make people view us or our past as bad people. I'm in the salon business so I deal with many different people on the daily . And yes opioids I believe if I person hasn't gone through it themselves they won't understand . Just thank for helping us and sharing it is very brave and you are helping us.::
Thank you for sharing this post. I understand your point and how frustrating it can be to try an explain to others who don't understand the true core of addiction. Some people just think that a loved one can be cured in 90 days and life goes on. Addiction doesn't work like that and we know the sober road has to be a vigilant road an addict the rest of there life. I sometimes feel loved ones try there best to understand but addiction is very deep rooted and possibly they never will. Great job trying to pay it forward and help people try to understand how powerful addiction truly is.
Great video Ryan. Thank you for this. I appreciate you and everything you do.
Thanks for the video, brother. I have 88 days today and needed some extra motivation.💪👊😀
I live in scotland Ryan, and your content has been an inspiration. You stay on point and make sense. You cover the important stuff. And you understand through your own experience and to actaully watch a you tube video and have hope for the future is a rare thing so thank you for all you have done and will do.
I have been nearly 10 years now and am about to attempt cold turkey detox. i use roughly 4 grams per day of heroin but i feel methodone is not the answer. There are so many factors like state of mind, company, finances and so on........ but you look like a success story thats done so well so be proud. preperation is vital and i feel like for once i must stop. i must change or i'll lose all that is dear to me through my own stupidity 10 years ago.
Anyway you have a supporter in me and keep doing what you do. My situation doesn't feel so hopeless anymore thanks to your videos...........Thankyou
I will let you know how my progress goes.
Thanks,
Bruce
Hi Ryan once again you have inspired me. You are so right you have to fight it is a battle. It's one I want to win I think people don't understand the fight to get your life back. It's the hardest thing I've done in my very full 56 year life. But it is so worth the fight it takes every bit of your drive,motivation and strength to get there,but as you say the rewards are so great .I an feel emotions ,smell,taste,see more clearly. Sensations alien to me for years I almost feel reborn.Yes it was shitty,painful and like being in hell. But when you come out the other end it is so good. Of course there are still bad days and you are always working your recovery but the rewards are great. Thank you ryan you are an inspiration and your advice is so good it's invaluable to my recovery. Much love to you .and thanks .
This is one of Ryan’s best videos ever. I really enjoyed this discussion
Extremely proud of you and everyone else who has made it through addiction! :)
I hope you can still hear in some way how important your channel is to this addict. I relapsed at 3 years clean and after 2 years of constant relapsing and being in a very dark place, I am 5 days tonight. I have the gift of desperation and when I listen to you talk like this it keeps me going and touches my soul because I know I am not alone. You still are helping even though you are gone and I pray every moment that this darkness will lift and listening to your videos gives me hope ❤️
Ryan was awesome and helped me, im 5 days today also.. Are you still clean?
@ryanhandy7299 how are you doing now?... I'm at day 8 without my methadone after being in the clinic for 6 years and it's been a hard week for me.. didn't realize how much I was numbing my emotions with opiates until I stopped last week and everything is coming back to me... I actually feel sad again which I haven't truly felt that in a long long time ❤
@@KnewEyes1990 5 days again. how sad is that. just seen that was 11 months ago. 12 step programme helps. i know what you mean. i feel like im grieving. this is the hardest thing i have ever done but ill never stop trying. i pray this is the last time. i just feel done. well done for day 8. it does get better, i do remember that when i was 3 years. keep going and thank you for your comment it was a nice suprise. x
@@woody9589 thank you.. I made it another day lol...day by day, min by min. I still feel weird but it's manageable when I'm awake BUT bedtime is whole another story.. its when I try and lay still to sleep I get this feeling in my entire body where it feels like it needs to move and if I try to force myself to stay still I get really agitated lol... hoping it will get better as time goes by cause I'm not sleeping at all because of it... passing the night away while everyone is sleeping by playing a game I haven't played since I was a kid, been playing Golden Eye 007 on the switch lol going to try and beat the game again since I got all this time at night awake.. Yes keep trying its worth it to fight for life because we deserve to be healthy and happy ❤️
@KnewEyes1990 Hope your still truckin. I'm down to 16ml mdone from 150. Slow tapering to zero this next few weeks. I pray you're still making it out
You're SO handsome inside and out. I can see your beautiful soul through your eyes. Thanks for taking the time to help us addicts! God bless you and your family!
Went to my first na meeting yesterday - was scared but I see the support there that I need so badly. So hard to be understood so I feel as though honesty and the non-judgmental group is going to help a lot. I'm trusting the steps and am finally feeling hopeful.
Spirituality is a huge part of staying clean... thank you for all Ryan
I love your videos 💙 everything you say I went through sometimes I cry because of all the damage I've done hearing you inspires my husband and me everyday.you helped us get sober when we wanted to give up your words pushed us through .today I can say I'm happy and sober .thank you and keep the videos coming .
Mizz Tejas I am happy for you and your husband. Keep pushing much love and respect.
I’m so happy I found Ryan. I’ve been seeking these answers and I found you after several weeks.
Yes Ryan this is a great topic!!! Every time I get frustrated and sad or angry I say to myself "deep breath" and kick its ass!!! You truly have to look at life like this!! We as addicts don't think about life as ups and downs. We want to be up alll the time and numb to our lives. The feeling that TRUE sobriety gives is BEING FREE!!! To feel the happy and THE sad. What would life be without the rollercoaster ride!! Now don't get me wrong some people have it worst that others but, I will say this, let your trials and tribulations be your strength. Don't let those terrible moments in life take your life for ever. I let addiction have my life for 9 years with no clean time ever! Till one day I was so sick of living like this!!! And now I'm 6 months clean! It's a journey everyday and worth every happy and SAD moment. I was will and will always be working on my sobriety. This is who I have to be to live!!! I can wait to live everyday sober. Good luck to everyone out there!! KICK ITS ASSS!!!!!!
You are a very good dude. You are helping so many people right now. Thank you.
this video makes so much sense to me!! thanks Ryan
This video made me cry. My partner is addicted to vicodin and I'm so angry inside because of everything that has happened between us. He is tappering and I can't help but just be angry because I am afraid. Afraid that I am sabotaging him by being angry and afraid of all the what ifs. Is it possible that this is just to much for me and that I'm bad for him. This video spoke to me. After I watched this I told him I do support him and that I'm sorry I'm angry and that I am proud of him and that it is possible where just dealing with the other side of the coin at the same time. It is not easy being an addict and it is not easy loving an addict. Thank you for your words. Thank you for being you.
love you Ryan. great talks everyday! thanks keep it up
My dad was this way with me. Even though I've explained it to him 20 times and 20 different ways he either forgets or doesn't "really" get it. It use to make me mad as an addict but since being clean I can appreciate and sympathize now since you won't "really" get it, unless you've done it.
Lone Ranger yeah my mom and gma are constantly telling me to "just stop" and it's so frustrating because believe me if it were that easy i would've done it years ago. im going to inpatient next week and she's so happy. but i know 28days isn't going to solve a 6yr oxy habit smh. im so stuck
la rae You can do it. I truly believe in you. Addict myself for 10 years. But now 11 months clean. Get pissed off and kick this shit in the teeth. I care about you my friend. And I believe in you. :)
Lone Ranger You got this shit brother. Kick it's ass.
Cliff Konkle can't wait til i have 11 months clean! i can get thru the physical shit...it's my MIND that obsessively tells me i NEED oxy or H to get thru the day
la rae That mental part will go away. You have to know it will and constantly remind yourself. It's going to take months more than likely but each week gets easier and easier. I went from thinking of it all day every day to now barely giving it an after thought once a week even after only 2 months.
Also 28 days won't solve your addiction but a month is a GOOD amount of time to heal and start you on the road to recovery. Don't dread it, embrace it!
Thanks Ryan for all the good work you do. You have helped me so much to understand what I'm going through. Much respect and love brother. :))
I can't thank you enough for your videos they are a true insiration you have so many of the same thoughts i do. I havem't been clean very long but i have struggled with opiates for so many yrs and what you are saying is where i'm finally at thankfully i am willing to go to any length nessacery to get better i have struggled to explain to my family so they understand why i was stuck in depression for so long this makes it crystal clear keep up the amazing work :)
Just wanted you to know, I am 13 days today and I truly appreciate people like you, listening to you has really made me want to keep fighting this battle.... ❤️
You will be forever missed Ryan. I've been watching your videos for what seems like 10 years and you're still helping people. I hope your heaven or hereafter is everything and more than you hoped.
I've also relapsed so many times, I'm currently 2 days sober after I was hospitalised thru drinking and taking pills, it's nice to hear a man talk about this and his own struggles
A lot of people are missing you right now in this moment Ryan. RIP brother
Wait a min......this guy is dead???
jennifer stoops, yes! Ryan suffered from a condition called Factor V. He passed away in September 2018.
@@mattd8670 I have a few friends with factor 5 blood clots
thank you for this video
I no its hard and u still help others.
one love
Thank you ,
For you !
You saved my life !!!
4 weeks clean 🙏♥️🌸
🙏🕯💯♥️🧚🏽♀️💫
Thank you!
Wow. I really like your video. Thank u for the insight. I love this woman that is on methadone, and I want to understand what’s she’s going thru and really be there. And find the amazing person that I know it’s deep inside of her. Thank u again
OMG! So sad, this guy was and is a true God sent. RIP Ryan. My prayers go to your family. Your work Will go on to save many. Truly a inspirational soul. You Help me so much. RIP.
I've been sent here from a bad bad day!! Relapse has been on my mind so much lately. It's just a shit storm of crap lately and feel like I'm at my breaking point. To make it worse I'm with a an addict in recovery.. We've been clean for 5and a half years. But it always lurks in the corners, waiting ... I hate everything right now. Though logic tells me hey.. it's only one bad day.. ughh.. thanks for the video I needed it today!!
thanks, I really enjoyed that.
😭😭😭 just to effin deep....your an angel
Worst thing about addiction is the relationships I destroyed cause if my addiction.. From girlfriends to good buddies... Something I can't get back and will always regret
Very insightful you gave me a bit of a different perspective. I was in a relationship for 5 years he was addicted to opiods, he left me about 3 months ago because of NA. I still keep in touch but he is still very aggressive, he said because of the pain. This might be the reason why he shouldn't be around me. He is completely clean now ♥️ I'm so happy for him but I guess it's about rebuilding communication skills and getting through HALT and 12 steps principle. I guess because he was mentally abusing me, I should be mad but I realize it's not him and it hasn't been for a while. I have thankfully been saved from god. I have been baptized and born again. I honestly don't know what i would have done without God ♥️ Amen and hallelujah. God bless !!
👍👍👍 thank you
Amazing video Ryan
Everything you said is EXACTLY what I have just figured out this-the 4th time quitting in 4 or 5 years. I think this is THE key to understanding and unlocking your sobriety. Coupled with self forgiveness, studying to figure out what works, endurance, and fighting like hell- we'll be unstopable! One of your best Ryan... appreciate ya.
I know your not with us anymore Ryan, You were such a great man! I know someone that is recovering from heroin, she was bad, she shot up for many years. She's doing good now, but her family is always on her case about the simplest things like going outside to have a cigarette with me after eating dinner. Maybe a small glass of cheap wine that she wants to have with her meal. And her family is always yelling at her, and I pity her because she always listens to them! Will a cigarette and a glass of wine make her relapse back into that lifestyle that she once had? Or will the stress of her family thats always lecturing her about her past send her back into a spiral? She cleaned herself up good and just wants to be happy. I wish you were still hear to comment. People that never lived with addiction will never get it! We miss you Ryan, the world needs more of you! ❤️
For me it's bc depression and anxiety when newly sober are really intense. Just the thought of using gives me butterflies like I'm about to see someone I'm madly in love with. I'm 20 days clean but still in a very vulnerable state.
Sending you LOVE and hope you are doing good. I was an addict for 12years now 5 almost 6 years clean cold turkey. I am no one special you can do it.
@@cliffkonkle3467, awe thanks. That's so kind of you. Somehow I managed to stay clean and it seems there's no turning back now.
fight for your life . and this shit is deep .. yeah . very true .. no one understand the battle unless he is in the same boat and believe it is REAL battle .. very tough days .. and there is no support around ..
RIP my dude you help me threw alot out of the years god bless you 🙏
What happened to him?
this was so well said, I'm 4 months clean from suboxone and vyvanse, was on methadone before that and oxy and hydros before that. I'm going through some pretty tough PAWS at the moment and having trouble getting back any real excitement in my life. Like the natural dopamine I used to have just is not there anymore. And its scary. I wanna get a good 6 months to a year behind me and I'm praying it makes a difference. The only ways I have been able to cope is pot and beer. And I don't want that to take over either but those have always been much much easier for me to drop compared to any opiate. But anyhow I rant, the info in your video is said spot on to what I'm dealing with right now and going through without meds giving me drive and ambition, I know I will never use again I'm 36 and used long enough, 15 years. Daily. I'm just so glad theres a channel I can go to and be reassured when I'm feeling this way. I'm not doing the job I want right now and not living where I want to be and not driving a proper work truck like I should be and so many other issues I should have dealt with by now but havent and it sucks to see it all at once and try and deal with it, lost a marriage from it to boot. I felt so good mentally after the first 4-6 weeks acute withdrawal, but 4 months in now I feel nothing like that mentally although the physical part is and has been totally gone for a while now
My doctor recommended Suboxone but I'm leary about using it. Do you feel like it helped you at all,even just in the beginning or did it replace the addiction?
Yo. I hope youre doing ok these days. If not, keep fighting. I want to say, after fighting through wds, many, many times, and FINALLY getting over that hump..
I was depressed af for months, but after bout 5-6 months, i noticed the depression started getting better. Fast forward a year and i can say that the depression subsides. Many things that make u feel bad will soon too subside. Took me about a year to get back to feeling like "my normal self" .. whatever that is. But i wake up every day knowing i mow have a CHOICE. I choose not to go down that road again. One foot in front of the other. Keep going forward, never backwards..
Love ya, be good. Fight..
@@WWII_buff I am so sorry I didnt see your reply back then. I hope u havent used it, to me it is honestly much harder to get off of. The problem is, these maintenance drugs work wonders but only partially, and only for a set time. After that, ur worse off than where u started. Just being real....
hey Ryan. I'm going through withdrawals right now. I'm going to let my mom see this video because like you say they just don't get it I've been on and off heroin for the last 20 years I've done it before got back to the gym and was so happy it felt like magic. I've finally after 2 year relapse got my head in the right place to do this. I'm using dihydrocodine to relive the worst of the w.d's I watched Elliot hulse. who motivated me hugely so here I go again watch his visa. I'm hot/cold sweaty you know the deal but like you say you have to be motivated I'm hot big deal I'm cold big deal. that's my approach. the months of depression you talked about I did not get I threw myself into working out. I was at the gym 2 times a day and walking my dog's but I did all that at my dad's along way away from my city where I can score anytime but I had a 2gram. a day habit that's 100£ a day here I've lied so much to my dad who without him I could never have gotten this bad and I blamed him for enabling me but after losing for 20 years I'm a very creative expert lier. with I'm not proud of but that's in the past. I have a 10 pill a day prescription I have 200 pills and need to cut down to 10 in 12 days so I'm not worrying how many I need for the first 4 days then I will reduce . it's not for everyone but I know how to do this and I find doctors just don't get it and will not give me anything helpful like diazapam or Zambezi. with such as I've told them how easy I can buy a tub of 1000. but I just wanted to do things properly ( legally) even the local rehab people don't get it. they give you methadone and ask you if you need more until you either get to 130mg or say u have enough but that stuff is a nightmare. plus all the junkys go there and it's an easy place to score they did have ex addicts as counseling people and it was great now they for some reason got rid of them and now employ people who know nothing. I went back there really happy to tell them I had been reducing my Daily Dose and now I'm off. guess what because I was happy and well built they asked me over and over if I was taking coke. because"we have never seen you like this" I was mad as hell of course u have never seen me like this my life was a mess and I was depressed. anyway I've ranted on for far to long. take care brother I wish you a happy clean life.
Jonathan Rogers You can get through this shit. kick this shit in the teeth bro.
that was beautiful
Rip brother hope you feel better in the next life ❤️
well said!!
he hit the nail on the head with this video
Thank you Ryan, I am CHOOSING to stop
People never understand the PAWS.
What does paws stand for
jennifer stoops post acute withdrawal symptoms, what makes u feel different from before u started using, lasts a long time in recovery I still feel like my brain is damaged though ,
@@lonelyalgae5728 yes I believe I do too sometimes as well. They come and go....I can tell my brain is not right. It's only been under 2 weeks for me. Withdrawals had me going crazy in my mind. I felt off and couldnt function normally. It gets better though with time unless you was a huge addict. I wasnt a huge addict but I was addicted to my meds. I'm off them now. The anxiety and crying and my brain literally feeling sick was awful!!
@@lonelyalgae5728 I'm lucky that I dont have any cravings though. Sure I miss my drug but I know im.better off without them because they would of sooner killed me or caused me to lose my life without dieing ya know....
jennifer stoops guess it depends on what you use, I’d mix a lot and do a lot of stimulants and opiates / benzos at the same time so I feel like I can remember what my brain could do a while ago but now it’s less, very scary feeling but I try ignore it, I hope you keep off your subtsances of choice I am clean of everything even weed since May. You can do it it is worth it (I hope)
I was one of those people before I got into heroin of May 2015 in that short amount of time I've had so much misery failed recovery attempts jobs,relationships family life I'd give anything to go back to that night I stupidly asked my brother if I could try smoke some H jeez at 30 years old wtf was I thinking I guess it's because I'd seen my younger brother go through heroin addiction for 10 years I thought I was better than all the junkies I see in my neighbourhood, I was clean had job worked out had an awesome body through my years of bodybuilding I thought that it was like all other drugs I'd had weed ecstasy coke I occasionally smoked crack so I thought I'd just be able to have the same control and just have the odd day binge once every few weeks/months
Just like I had with other drugs😔
Heroin and opiates mess with the brain!!! It's hard to explain to normal people and I get that it's one hell of an evil drug..but as much as it feels so fuckin good when I'm high,,I'm so full of regret every time I relapse and am so jealous of normal people I need to get a grip big time I've got a family kids that I got back in my life 6 months after trying the evil stuff, I should of just quit right there but I've been a real selfish piece of shit if someone could tel me years ago I'd be a junkie I'd of punched them funny how life turns out eh lol
I need to heed your advice mate everything you said is true about giving your life true meaning loving real life experiences family kids etc
Before heroin I ate good went to the gym I got a buzz from that and kind of addicted to it through suffering with depression all my life it worked wonders for my self esteem. Especially with having good genetics the results were amazing(and I wasted it all away)
Heroin gave me a quick fix to feel good no long hours in the gym the diet all the other sacrifices but looking back my jealous of that guy I need him to come back kick my head in
mattep1ao I know the feeling of hating and kicking the shit out of your self for becoming a drug addict. I struggle with depression to even more now that I'm a year clean from a 10year bender. You can do this brother I wouldn't lie to you. You have to really want it. You sound like a smart guy that can see how it will all go down if you don't stop. Get out while you are still alive , healthy and young. Kick this shit in the teeth. Shit in the devils mouth and sew it shut. My love and respect goes out to you my friend. TIME TO RIP SHIT UP.😀😁😂
the 1st thing that would happen to me mentally, even in the throws of acute withdrawals is I would laugh at the stupidest shit. I probably sounded like a stark raving lunatic, but humor was the 1st thing. then I'd cry if an spca or starving kids commercial came on. I felt feelings. even good feelings though!
amen to that I been around it all my life but did not understand it until I was in there shoes amen
Did you suffer with depression/anxiety before you became addicted? That is what I fear the most, that I will never be well again with or without it, and you are right, my addict mind tells me it will be easier with it! I struggled with depression and anxiety from a young age, about 10 but possibly before that, hence I enjoyed drugs and drink as it alleviated the symptoms and then I was eventually introduced to the devil, which has held me a prisoner for too long, but I fear I will never be happy, even if I do kick, as the depression came first! I feel so desperate and really appreciate the likes of yaself making vids to try and help!
hopefulinhell I can truly relate to anxiety and depression. I struggled with this before I was an addict. I used drugs to cope for 10 years numbing my pain and fear. I found when I got clean it all came back in full force. I took antidepressants before but couldn't tell if they did anything because the opiates made me feel better. I found that now Being 11 months clean I feel full of anxiety and depression .I researched antidepressants because I wanted to go back on then.I was frightened what I found out about them.Going to group therapy in a week to try it out without the antidepressants. I know how you feel it's a hard struggle. Sorry for rambling I just want you to know your not alone. I wish you great strength and happiness my friend.
hopefulinhell try to get prescribed a non addictive anti-depression medicine such as SSRIs like Prozac or celexa
donot lose hope and fear can cripple all of us . so move forward and take your life back .. and in addition . Get medical support for your depression. you are not alone . I am depressed since 2 years and I am off tramadol since 9 days ..
I'm the same way
god bless I was bless I wasn't hurting no one but me doctor was giving pain med. help others older any one.I know people that have hurt stool from there parents an grand parents so they don't can't face it so they keep doing drugs so sad god bless u Ryan causes I can't imaging what u go thru every day amen
How long do it take to get of pain killers,is the frist 3 days the the worst ,but do it get easy after that ,want to detox at home,looking after my old dad ,want to get of pain killers ,just hoping the detox don't last longer,thanks watch you ever night before I go to bed ,your giving me the drive to get of the pain killers ,thanks again x
Please don't give my name x
going thru this all rite now....everything said!
Donnie Ronkonian Keep pushing brother.
great video I pray this is going to help me explain being an addict to my ex-wife. but once you have become sober and clean do you have e any good tips or tricks for staying g clean. Anything to help adjusting from your addiction to soberiety easier or any ideas. dope really hurt my family an took so much from me thanks for your words I hope you are doing good lol even though idk you
Hi Nico. Just watch some of the archive on Ry's channel and you'll find a myriad of advice on staying clean. I hope your family can learn to be empathetic to this horrible disease. There's another video that you should watch from Ryan's channel. It's titled, "forgiving yourself after opiate addiction" (not verbatim but it'll populate). Good luck and stay strong.
Great video brother, I would have loved to do a collaboration with you!
Successful recovery from opiates is the best revenge when it comes to kicking life's ass because life has been kicking my ass as an addict for many years. I just fight it like any other enemy that would try to destroy me and the people I love. I wake up with the warrior mindset that I will not be defeated, I will not stop fighting, I will taste victory in every battle that I will face today and nothing, nothing, can make me choose the path of self-destruction except me. I choose LIFE!
rob windsor Great message and a good way to look at things. I need your mindset. I hope all goes well for you.
rob windsor I can't seem to forgive myself so I kick the shit outta myself.
You gotta forgive yourself man. That's one of the main tentacles that the beast of addiction uses against us. Understand you are worth fighting for, so is your freedom from the beast, and it starts with the realization that we are fallible creatures, prone to screw things up. I don't know your situation but you can ask for forgiveness from the ones you've harmed and that journey starts with asking for forgiveness from yourself. Will you grant it? Asked another way, where does the road lead if you don't forgive yourself? Any addict will tell you, if they are honest, that it will lead to the vicious cycle of relapse. So, dude, forgive yourself, you are worth it, and whatever you've done can be forgiven. Like I said, the best revenge is kicking the shit outta that which is wishing nothing more than your destruction, the beast of addiction. Get up, fight it, beat it, kill it. KILL IT MAN!!! BEAT THE SHIT OUTTA IT!!! EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY< DO IT MAN!!!
rob windsor Thanks dude you are the best.
I'm just a dude wanting to help out. Hopefully my words will encourage you and whoever else might read them... I know what it's like, believe me, I'm fighting this beast as I write, but once we get through to the other side and experience true joy and peace without needing this shit that is just a counterfeit for those things that we really want, life opens up. The strength that we will have gained from going through this experience can be harnessed to take on the world bro. Think about that side of it, the victory, and what that can and will provide in moving forward with life.
So true
Thank you Ryan. Rest in peace.
It breaks my heart he passed away!!!
Oh no.. what happen RIP
Hy Ryan I am from Pakistan where heroine cheaper then food
I am on day 4 clean but withdrawal symptoms since more and more restless legs and no sleep thanks your vedio help me
Hi Pakistan - Ryan died about 6-12 months ago. Didn’t know if you knew
@@texastoast2961 his videos still help me, and i still cant believe he is gone. Ryan is an angel.
Koii Princess agreed. And this was one of my favorite vids
Koii Princess Koii- Are u clean? I’m struggling. Can’t seem to stay good. Opiates take quite the grip!
Rest in peace Ryan ❤
As a non addict, it is so tough to understand. I tried to save a friend..she lost her battle on her 7th OD..gone at 34 leaves a Child behind and a husband..we all tried..i am devastated n heartbroken 💔😔
Miss ya Ryan. RIP my man
Your so right mate. So true, I'm going through it now, exactly same as you say, I'm divorced after 9yrs, fkd up my friendships, I have £3 in the bank, no food, it's hardcore.
Also had a breakdown and I'm with the mental health team. On meds for that. Vids like this help a little. Thanks.
Change your own mental blueprint.
Also have no family atall.
I'm not a troll. This Is true. Ugh. Keeping going is a constant fight.
You have to want it more than anything in this world. You can't be there for anyone until you can help yourself. Focus on the right now. If you were selfish (no doubt) during use, you must be even more selfish during recovery.
@@Tor010 How are you brother? I feel YOU with all the mental struggles. I hope YOU keep FIGHTING
oh yes and Eckhart Tolle on UA-cam change your life in 10 minutes he's very soothing to go to sleep to also the pain body by Eckhart all this on UA-cam
Susanne C I have an Eclhart Tollie quote tattoo on my arm. “There is nothing in this world so beautiful as a shattered life”
I watch this video everyday...
Anyone who loses sight of the objective during recovery, should watch this video daily. I've been sober for almost 5 months and have been losing my grasp of what matters during recovery. Real life has a way of snapping one out of the program that had kept one sane through this process. I just sought this video out again today and it made me tear up because it takes me right back to the beginning and reminded me of the importance of taking it one step at a time.
there are some great NA speeches on UA-cam
Your great how u tell it bro I wanna speak to u
Ryan I would like to get your opinion on if you think when getting into a new romance relationship with someone is it important to let the other person know that you had a substance abuse problem in the past.
***💯💪💯***REAL*ASF***
On the same day I decided to get clean(last night) I was coming home from the grocery store, and I had a former dealer that I hadn’t seen for 2 months chance me down for the 24 lousy bucks I owe him. Wow
How are you doing? I hope you're doing well. ❤
I wish I could talk to you just have at least one time. Wish you were here.
Is anyone going to mention that Ryan is a fox?? 😂
CD Recovery mee!!! lol yes he's very handsome ♡
Lone Ranger lol you're crazy!#!
CD Recovery it certainly doesn't hurt his reach with these videos 👀😂 (I kid, I kid, but you do look great Ryan--so healthy and happy. For real.)
Ya think 😉
me!! hes nice ! ha ha
Also know I am 12 years clean actually and have been struggling with my mental health. I am struggling to get off my crutch of my mat.
Rest In Peace my dude 😞
OH MY GOD...just me right now. This shot has gotten SOOO hard, even after the unbearable withdrawal physical symptoms. I AM BREAKING at this moment, but really trying not too.😔😔 God damn, hanging on by a thread...searching, searching, trying, trying to make me & t huh is ok right now.
I am helping a lady with child 33 restarting her life again what advise can you share
´pity` was a strong motivator indeed - there were another two which were as important as that ... the extreme , and I mean Extreme sadness and a very dark aura I was taking home with me , this bad , dark vibe which was contagious, I felt I was dragging my family along with me every time I left the house to score , them knowing it perfectly - one night I thought about just doing an extra bag and just eliminate the ´virus` who was plaguing my loved ones ... shit´s contagious - big motivator there, unless you´re a complete scumlord like a few I know ... oh yeah ... the last one which made me do everything within my power to quit speedballing - ´social ridicule` , as in , family and friends , people I once had as part of my circle not only disappeared off of my sphere , some of them took great pleasure in seeing me almost begging in the streets ... each time I would meet them it got pretty revealing , the badly hidden joy in watching my disgrace , feeding off of it , some sort of pleasure caused by past jealousies and envy ... you´re right mate, worse place to be in, crippled by addiction ... not even that hard to quit H and W at least ... right environment, right support, far from where you are comfortable scoring your gear ... no matter how bad your addiction is , couple of weeks for physical ... another few weeks to tune in to reality ... 6 months of , say , ´normal life` in a different place doing a rewarding job , meeting ( another ) a partner - yeah man, back on track ... last piece of advice in this foking essay : no matter if it´s 1 year , 5 years, 10 years clean , NEVER EVER touch that poison again . I once had a relapse and let me tell you , even though you wake up next day far from craving H ... there´s just this omnipresent feeling that you messed up bigtime , memory of these things is Diabolical ... rest assured in 1 - 2 months you will have had relapsed ... when you do IT , DO IT FOREVER - The ONLY WAY !