I just love hearing more from Val! He has such an old, traditional soul! It’s refreshing! And Candace has such a pure heart of gold! And the cohosts are absolutely lovely! So enjoying these episodes! God bless 🤍🤍
This is the first honest conversation I’ve ever heard on this topic. Thank you. My husband and I have been married almost 24 years; we have two sons (19 and almost 22), and a daughter (14). I’ll just come out and say it: Our sons in particular just about tore our marriage apart. My husband became an ally with our second son, and I was on the outside looking in. My husband grew up with divorced parents and a dad who never paid him any attention; I grew up with married parents who would not let us (my two sisters and I) divide them. I wanted my husband to “side with me” but he became very agitated and frustrated when I would voice this over and over. I really don’t think it ever “resolved”; I think our son finally grew up and finished high school and is just not at home as much anymore. I think, if the high school years would have been even one or two years longer, we couldn’t have made it as a married couple. Or at least it would have been horrendous. I’ve always felt that I was alone in this, and that other Christian couples are just united on all fronts. I felt like my husband was more connected to his sons. I also think my husband’s sadness about how his dad was absent, caused my husband to bond almost too tightly with his own sons-almost to the detriment of his marriage. People say often that having children is so blissful to a marriage; I disagree. Yes, there are joyful times as a *parent* because you love your child with such depth; but my opinion is that having children - especially TEENS - challenges marriages on every level. I think premarital counseling could be the marriage-saver for many couples. Sadly, my husband and I never received premarital counseling. We will celebrate 24 years this month, but it’s been by the grace of God. It has not been a Hallmark movie. But here we are. I don’t have any answers except, cling tightly to the Lord and hold on for dear life.
I can relate to what you have shared. There's so much I could say, but it's too personal for everyone to read here. Please pray for God to lead you two to a godly, good fit of a counselor who will help you and your husband navigate through this painful, fragile season to prevent divorce and bring about healing from the hands of Christ. Both partners have to want to stay together. That wasn't the case in my marriage. He divorced me. I'm not saying he was the whole problem. I'm just saying he didn't want to invest the time and energy to stay in our marriage and work through it anymore. I will pray for you two.
@@pattistuber8018 I’m so sorry about your marriage. Thank you for your prayers and advice. I definitely believe what has kept us together by God’s grace is the fact that we were both committed to our marriage working, despite the hard times. We were on the brink of divorce more than once, but within a short time-span each time, we held each other and reconciled. Another component of our marriage that I believe has kept us together sounds cliche, but true- Communication. Even if our conversations “agitated” each other and weren’t always pleasant, we never stonewalled each other. We’ve also always been good “business partners” running our household and children - so when things weren’t so “romantic” between us, we still had core common values and interests in that sense. Now that we are “2/3 empty nesters” (as we call ourselves because we still have one out of three at home), things have calmed down and we have come back together in a lot of ways. Ya know, life is not always a walk through the daisies. It just isn’t. Marriages aren’t either. I don’t trust those mushy Facebook posts where long-time married couples act like they’re on their honeymoon. I usually just typically assume they’ve had a big fight and someone is making up by posting something sweet. They’re just painting a picture that’s a facade. But you’re right: a lasting marriage takes both parties being committed fully, despite the tough times. I think lack of real commitment by one of both parties is likely the #1 reason for divorce. And a third reason that our marriage has worked despite the odds, I believe, is that we have always trusted each other. Neither of us has had to worry about affairs or any type of infidelity. We are true-blue with that. There is 100% trust.
@@christinasittinger4466 I’m so sorry to hear this. The only thing that I’ve found that really helps is to focus on your own walk with the Lord. Have a quiet little secret, peaceful spot that you meet with Him often, where you study the Word, pray and get to know Him more and more. It took me a long time to learn this, as I focused so long on “trying to convince my husband” to focus on our marriage more, to focus on the Lord more- I was constantly trying to make him see my perspective, etc. Then I thought, I’ll just run to God, stop begging my husband to unite with me instead of our son, and stop begging him to be who I want him to be. It was not a fix-all, BUT I will say I think it saved our marriage! As I drew nearer to Christ, I was given the ability by God to converse better and more wisely with my husband, to exhibit more patience, and to “need” my husband less- in the sense of always “needing” him to make me feel like we were a united team like I had dreamed of. I realized I couldn’t change him, but I could ask God to change me and to also help my marriage in the process. Again, it may not make all things perfectly harmonious, but I found that when we “seek first the Kingdom”, indeed all things begin to come in order and there’s a restoration of peace that only comes from the Lord Jesus Christ. Blessings.
Candace, you have made a huge difference in my journey with God. So sorry to hear about the loss of your father in law. May he rest in peace in the palm of Jesus Christ.
Having that best friend who is also your spouse, this really is key! As a husband, I want to fix things when my wife talks about what she has going on but I had to realize that she didn’t want it fixed, she just wants me to listen! (Makes a big difference once I made that switch)
Thank you!! The best thing my husband and I did was we were married 5 years before kids. God knew we needed this time to cement our relationship before adding a child. It was thru medical intervention with my spouse!! We were than blessed with a baby boy who just turned 28 last week. Just over 2 years later we were blessed with twin boys. They will be 26 in Dec. I've very much enjoyed this conversation as well as all the other seasons!! Once again thank you so very much. ❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you! This was so amazing to listen to. Especially the end portion, the last 20 minutes. How to make marriage work, sex, desire, listening. SOO Good!!!
Wow just wow! Candace’s statement about how her husband made her feel safe as her boys got older with being her teammate is something all women should get from their husbands
Just a fabulous conversation. My kids are 22, 20, and 18 so I’m feeling all the feels of no one at home and independence. Thank you for sharing insights into marriage, date night and emotional connection.
Such a good ep! Also, while I can't agree with the whole sports thing not being a biblical issue or biblically wrong, I still appreciated the sentiment behind it. Its important to acknowledge not all churches have multiple service options or can just choose another day to go to church. Also we tend to forget the scripture "foresake not the assemblymen..." We as ppl are very quick to forgo church for other activities, but we would never forgo work for other activities. Somehow missing church and fellowship is always justified in society. For me it's a priority thing and shows our placement of God in our lives. One of the ways my mother taught me consistency was by going to church every single weekend on the day that we acknowledged as the sabbath. So there's a number of ways to teach consistency. I just would not feel comfortable sacrificing my church time for sports. But Candace is also right in that ultimately the leader of the household has to answer for that decision. So thank God everything turned out wonderfully!! He's always working in us and our family even when things don't go the way we think it should.
Once again, fabulous points and tips given on managing parenting conflict within marriage. The support of your spouse is vital in this area as we are role models for our children in this area.
This was a great episode. I loved the last part about honoring our parents and setting boundaries. How can you show honor to a mom who manipulates you and expects you to do everything possible for her above anything and anybody?
This series has been so good and uplifting! Thanks to you all so much. This episode was especially good and it's been wonderful to meet and hear from Val . As a new grandparent this is still very useful and it's been good to listen to you guys and see how God has worked in our own marriage and parenting ❤ blessings to you!
Thank you, love this. My husband and I became parents for the first time 9 months ago and as you may be aware.... It has been very challenging for our marriage. Great to hear your stories that we are all not too different ❤
Candace Buddy; I am praying for your huge loss of your father-in-law and your dear husband's father. I lost my parents some time back, and it hurts still to this day. You are all in my continued prayers for healing and mended hearts. You guys will see him again in eternal glory when we all finally get there to finally see Jesus himself. Thank you always as well for ongoing and continued prayers for me and my complete healing from the dreaded diabetes thing. Sorry to all for leaving long posts. As my friend and sister in the lord, we all shoulder each other's cares and burdens. May you all find the true peace and consolation that only God can bring each of you during this tough time of loss. God richly bless all of you and those here on your wonderful and uplifting forum. I love you guys! - Roger
This podcast is so empowering! I have enjoyed listening to all of the guest speakers and learned so much to imitate in my everyday life. I love the honest and true conversations about real-life situations, all while giving the honor to God. 🎉
Loved this episode. It is so applicable to our daily busy lives in our family! All four of you make it very interesting and helpful tools to use at home❤️
I have great in-laws. My parents and my in-laws hangout all the time without us and with us too. They have been out of town together, golfing and go out to dinner with each other. We have never heard of this happening before and we are glad they are like this cause it is unique. When my youngest son says something to me that he shouldn’t say or back talks me, my husband also says do not speak to my wife that way or disrespect her. When he says that I am taken back on what he says cause I never heard that said before. Maybe cause I was an only child and never got in trouble or any conflict with my parents.
LOVED this episode so much! Love seeing the deep love and respect in Val's eyes for Candace. So beautiful and intimate. God is faithful.💛💛💛💛
I just love hearing more from Val! He has such an old, traditional soul! It’s refreshing! And Candace has such a pure heart of gold! And the cohosts are absolutely lovely! So enjoying these episodes! God bless 🤍🤍
This is the first honest conversation I’ve ever heard on this topic. Thank you.
My husband and I have been married almost 24 years; we have two sons (19 and almost 22), and a daughter (14). I’ll just come out and say it: Our sons in particular just about tore our marriage apart. My husband became an ally with our second son, and I was on the outside looking in. My husband grew up with divorced parents and a dad who never paid him any attention; I grew up with married parents who would not let us (my two sisters and I) divide them. I wanted my husband to “side with me” but he became very agitated and frustrated when I would voice this over and over. I really don’t think it ever “resolved”; I think our son finally grew up and finished high school and is just not at home as much anymore. I think, if the high school years would have been even one or two years longer, we couldn’t have made it as a married couple. Or at least it would have been horrendous. I’ve always felt that I was alone in this, and that other Christian couples are just united on all fronts. I felt like my husband was more connected to his sons. I also think my husband’s sadness about how his dad was absent, caused my husband to bond almost too tightly with his own sons-almost to the detriment of his marriage. People say often that having children is so blissful to a marriage; I disagree. Yes, there are joyful times as a *parent* because you love your child with such depth; but my opinion is that having children - especially TEENS - challenges marriages on every level. I think premarital counseling could be the marriage-saver for many couples. Sadly, my husband and I never received premarital counseling. We will celebrate 24 years this month, but it’s been by the grace of God. It has not been a Hallmark movie. But here we are. I don’t have any answers except, cling tightly to the Lord and hold on for dear life.
Thank you for sharing. This was so moving ❤
Oh I am in the depths of hell with this very issue. It’s crushing me.😞
I can relate to what you have shared. There's so much I could say, but it's too personal for everyone to read here. Please pray for God to lead you two to a godly, good fit of a counselor who will help you and your husband navigate through this painful, fragile season to prevent divorce and bring about healing from the hands of Christ.
Both partners have to want to stay together. That wasn't the case in my marriage. He divorced me. I'm not saying he was the whole problem. I'm just saying he didn't want to invest the time and energy to stay in our marriage and work through it anymore. I will pray for you two.
@@pattistuber8018 I’m so sorry about your marriage. Thank you for your prayers and advice. I definitely believe what has kept us together by God’s grace is the fact that we were both committed to our marriage working, despite the hard times. We were on the brink of divorce more than once, but within a short time-span each time, we held each other and reconciled. Another component of our marriage that I believe has kept us together sounds cliche, but true- Communication. Even if our conversations “agitated” each other and weren’t always pleasant, we never stonewalled each other. We’ve also always been good “business partners” running our household and children - so when things weren’t so “romantic” between us, we still had core common values and interests in that sense. Now that we are “2/3 empty nesters” (as we call ourselves because we still have one out of three at home), things have calmed down and we have come back together in a lot of ways. Ya know, life is not always a walk through the daisies. It just isn’t. Marriages aren’t either. I don’t trust those mushy Facebook posts where long-time married couples act like they’re on their honeymoon. I usually just typically assume they’ve had a big fight and someone is making up by posting something sweet. They’re just painting a picture that’s a facade. But you’re right: a lasting marriage takes both parties being committed fully, despite the tough times. I think lack of real commitment by one of both parties is likely the #1 reason for divorce. And a third reason that our marriage has worked despite the odds, I believe, is that we have always trusted each other. Neither of us has had to worry about affairs or any type of infidelity. We are true-blue with that. There is 100% trust.
@@christinasittinger4466 I’m so sorry to hear this. The only thing that I’ve found that really helps is to focus on your own walk with the Lord. Have a quiet little secret, peaceful spot that you meet with Him often, where you study the Word, pray and get to know Him more and more. It took me a long time to learn this, as I focused so long on “trying to convince my husband” to focus on our marriage more, to focus on the Lord more- I was constantly trying to make him see my perspective, etc. Then I thought, I’ll just run to God, stop begging my husband to unite with me instead of our son, and stop begging him to be who I want him to be. It was not a fix-all, BUT I will say I think it saved our marriage! As I drew nearer to Christ, I was given the ability by God to converse better and more wisely with my husband, to exhibit more patience, and to “need” my husband less- in the sense of always “needing” him to make me feel like we were a united team like I had dreamed of. I realized I couldn’t change him, but I could ask God to change me and to also help my marriage in the process. Again, it may not make all things perfectly harmonious, but I found that when we “seek first the Kingdom”, indeed all things begin to come in order and there’s a restoration of peace that only comes from the Lord Jesus Christ. Blessings.
Love this season and Val is funny.
These two are my neighbors! I did electrical work on their house and they are great people off camera as well!
Candace, you have made a huge difference in my journey with God. So sorry to hear about the loss of your father in law. May he rest in peace in the palm of Jesus Christ.
Having that best friend who is also your spouse, this really is key!
As a husband, I want to fix things when my wife talks about what she has going on but I had to realize that she didn’t want it fixed, she just wants me to listen! (Makes a big difference once I made that switch)
Thank you!! The best thing my husband and I did was we were married 5 years before kids. God knew we needed this time to cement our relationship before adding a child. It was thru medical intervention with my spouse!! We were than blessed with a baby boy who just turned 28 last week. Just over 2 years later we were blessed with twin boys. They will be 26 in Dec. I've very much enjoyed this conversation as well as all the other seasons!! Once again thank you so very much. ❤❤❤❤❤
I LOOOOVE THIS PODCAST SOOO GOOD
I’m so happy you’re loving it!!🤍🤍🤍
Thank you! This was so amazing to listen to. Especially the end portion, the last 20 minutes. How to make marriage work, sex, desire, listening. SOO Good!!!
I love this podcast!! It's been so helpful. And I absolutely love hearing from your husband and you together. My favorite episodes for sure!!
So great to hear!
So good!!
This is so sweet Candace Cameron Bure. ❤ I can just see it . Val and Candace in the Bodyguard 2
Excellent! Such godly wisdom! Thank you. Many takeaways, thank you!
Glad it was helpful!
My favorite podcast to date 👏
Wow just wow! Candace’s statement about how her husband made her feel safe as her boys got older with being her teammate is something all women should get from their husbands
Just a fabulous conversation. My kids are 22, 20, and 18 so I’m feeling all the feels of no one at home and independence. Thank you for sharing insights into marriage, date night and emotional connection.
Such a good ep! Also, while I can't agree with the whole sports thing not being a biblical issue or biblically wrong, I still appreciated the sentiment behind it.
Its important to acknowledge not all churches have multiple service options or can just choose another day to go to church. Also we tend to forget the scripture "foresake not the assemblymen..."
We as ppl are very quick to forgo church for other activities, but we would never forgo work for other activities. Somehow missing church and fellowship is always justified in society. For me it's a priority thing and shows our placement of God in our lives. One of the ways my mother taught me consistency was by going to church every single weekend on the day that we acknowledged as the sabbath. So there's a number of ways to teach consistency. I just would not feel comfortable sacrificing my church time for sports. But Candace is also right in that ultimately the leader of the household has to answer for that decision. So thank God everything turned out wonderfully!! He's always working in us and our family even when things don't go the way we think it should.
So enjoyed this Godly wisdom 🙏🙏
Once again, fabulous points and tips given on managing parenting conflict within marriage. The support of your spouse is vital in this area as we are role models for our children in this area.
Can you please bring Val back loving having him
This was a great episode. I loved the last part about honoring our parents and setting boundaries. How can you show honor to a mom who manipulates you and expects you to do everything possible for her above anything and anybody?
This series has been so good and uplifting! Thanks to you all so much. This episode was especially good and it's been wonderful to meet and hear from Val . As a new grandparent this is still very useful and it's been good to listen to you guys and see how God has worked in our own marriage and parenting ❤ blessings to you!
I'm loving these podcasts so much!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!❤
Y’all hit on so many areas that we NEEDED to hear today!!! Wow! Thank u!
Thank you, love this. My husband and I became parents for the first time 9 months ago and as you may be aware.... It has been very challenging for our marriage. Great to hear your stories that we are all not too different ❤
You are so welcome !
Such a blessing ❤
Loved loved this episode. It spoke so much to me. God is so good! You guys are so inspiring. Thanks for being so honest and real.
My warm condolences to the bure family. Sending love 🙏❤️
Candace Buddy;
I am praying for your huge loss of your father-in-law and your dear husband's father. I lost my parents some time back, and it hurts still to this day. You are all in my continued prayers for healing and mended hearts. You guys will see him again in eternal glory when we all finally get there to finally see Jesus himself. Thank you always as well for ongoing and continued prayers for me and my complete healing from the dreaded diabetes thing. Sorry to all for leaving long posts. As my friend and sister in the lord, we all shoulder each other's cares and burdens. May you all find the true peace and consolation that only God can bring each of you during this tough time of loss. God richly bless all of you and those here on your wonderful and uplifting forum. I love you guys! - Roger
Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers 🙏🏼 we really appreciate it all
Thank you! This was so good !
This podcast is so empowering! I have enjoyed listening to all of the guest speakers and learned so much to imitate in my everyday life. I love the honest and true conversations about real-life situations, all while giving the honor to God. 🎉
Makes me so happy to hear!!😊
This speaks to everyone!
Loved this episode. It is so applicable to our daily busy lives in our family! All four of you make it very interesting and helpful tools to use at home❤️
hey girl- Loved the chat! 😁 oh so good!🥰
This is a good podcast!! Love the honesty !!
I have great in-laws. My parents and my in-laws hangout all the time without us and with us too. They have been out of town together, golfing and go out to dinner with each other. We have never heard of this happening before and we are glad they are like this cause it is unique. When my youngest son says something to me that he shouldn’t say or back talks me, my husband also says do not speak to my wife that way or disrespect her. When he says that I am taken back on what he says cause I never heard that said before. Maybe cause I was an only child and never got in trouble or any conflict with my parents.
This was so inspirational ❤
Thanks!
Loving this podcast!!! I’m having trouble finding the Healthy Home Guide. Where on your website will I find it??
🙏
Can I find this episode on Spotify. I want to listen to it in my car on there. Does anyone know what and easy way to find it?
What is the best way to message you, Candace? I have a marriage question for you!
🙏🩷📖
I didnt understand did you not live together 7 years
love this podcast so much!!🩷🩷 you are so amazing, Candace!