Hey guys hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts? Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited) Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> urlgeni.us/MCTSMIMEDS Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions To see how all my clients have achieved massive success through dire & hopeless circumstances, click here! ua-cam.com/play/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU.html
1:21:55 I like the video game analogy. I remember my brother and I played this one game that was very difficult, and he told me, NO CHEAT CODES until you've gone thru the game ONCE. he taught me in that one statement that it's a process. Enjoy the process. After you've beaten them game, and you want to go back and play it thru with unlimited ammo, then great. But you gotta get thru the game first.
So many people live life in a blur, because they never realize this. Ironically, DOING to HAVE also robs you of a lot of the HAVING that you want! Double wham.
Incomplete. This describes most men (and women). Well said G. I haven't seen a "healthy and good" relationship other than those you post on this channel. Most people honestly just put up with what they have and treat it as normal. I would go as far to say that even the women that leave often end up remarried and miserable, or they give up on the love they hoped for and settle the second time. I find that the layer of being incomplete is what essentially leads to the secondary layers. The point is that you HAVE to apply the steps taught here to even feel complete. The rest fixes itself, no tactics needed. Fix you and it attracts whomever.
Yup! And this has been the primary driver for me to keep going in this business. While there are definitely MANY people who never realize just how far short of GREAT their situations are for whatever reasons... The good news is that there are MANY people who recognize the importance of the GREAT relationship, and many people who are willing to do the work to get there. This is a very well-documented fact in so many books now - People need to remember that on your deathbed, NOT ONE person even says "I wish I got more power, money or worked more". But EVERY PERSON regrets not working on their relationships, getting more experiences, and positive memories/legacy. Remember what matters!
So watching this and re-evaluating myself including the last video...the bitterness was there and working on that now, I hadn't even noticed it until I dug it up about a week back. And my gears started turning like crazy, like I have this urge to just continue learning this content, which i didn't have prior. Like...dude I couldn't sleep and just wanted to understand why I was so unsatisfied the last few days. Too much to explain here in words, thanks for the reply and this in depth. It was a falling outcome, albeit you do have to learn how to like the process. I don't want to be the fat kid. No obesity shame meant
Hey Geoffrey, thank you again. One fear I have and many other women is to do what it takes to make men feel safe then they do not see any value in giving back, why maybe because of gender differences .. they still don’t understand what it takes to make their women feel really safe?? I don’t know if you see my point. Another point is: It feels sometimes harder for a woman to actually make a man feel safe .. are there some differences in gender??? ( what about polarity doesn’t it play a role in this first step? -Or only in the last 5th step (intimacy) ) Thank you so much for your responses . I really appreciate you, your team and the work you are doing.,
Stay tuned in 2 weeks where we publish an interview with a client + his wife where we asked the exact same question. But in the meantime, how do you think this fear is different with the many women interviews we have? Do you think their partner understood how to create safety or the value of safety from the get go? As we always say - You'll be surprised as tohow much your partner's behavior can & do change when you take it upon yourself to START changing the culture of the relationship (But you need to make sure you are actually changing it in correct ways). But if both of you are just standing there and going "I'll start when you start" - no one ends up moving.
Hey Geoffrey. Another great intweview. I know at one point you said that it doesn’t matter if she’s out the picture 3-6-9 months but what about After a 1 whole year of giving my wife space and still it all seems like it’s getting worse and worse from giving her space. I know you talk about the paradox of change and I have shown how much I’ve changed but this valley of resistance has been getting worse over the course of a year. What am I doing wrong
How do you know your changes are the right ones? And how do you know they are massive enough? By what standard do you judge it, and what makes you so confident of your standards and definition? Reason I say that is - In my own program, when the changes are the RIGHT ONES, and they are massive enough, and identity-based enough (as I have been discussing a lot in recent videos), you'll be like a flame to a moth. But if the moths aren't at least CURIOUS, something is wrong there...
@ I’m following the changes of your clients and the program principles of the program I am with. So what about the paradox of change and confirmation bias? Doesn’t it take a lot of time because of how much safety I’ve broken? And Because we can’t meet or talk she can’t see my changes only how I’m trying to create emotional safety through my texts and space I’m giving her. That’s where I’m a bit lost to how I could possibly attract her like a moth to a flame. I have untethered. Given her all the space she has asked for, not defensive or upset about her life decision yet she is not open to coming back. I’m very confused. I know you said when you start asking how long until the outcome, you have lost but I’m just so confused. She told me she is very happy and content in life right now. She has all new friends goes out often, so I don’t know how I could attract her now through internal work so she would want to talk to me and open to see my changes when she’s living her best life
@theorangeofallahpbuh1840 great question. I guess just by what I see what the players in this program and the ones in my program. Untethering has definitely been very difficult for me and many times when I see the having disappearing I don’t thrive until after a day after resistance so I’m not anti fragile but I can feel it getting closer. When I do get resistance though, I never say anything to her, it stings I fight mind viruses but it takes me a day or so to double down on the process and untethering and thriving
Great interview though I have some queries about the concept of filling ones cup . As per my knowledge every human needs social connection love etc so how can you fill those parts of the cup by yourself we need to rely on other people for that in a way. Or in this case the mindset to have is that the program will teach you such valuable skills that you can create a thriving connection with anybody so you don’t feel the need to hold on to one connection or relation too much . But that sounds like chimpanzeeing
Simple - when you become an overflowing cup and lead/inspire others to become overflowing cups too, their overflowing cups will naturally flow to yours. Ever since I stopped DOING to HAVE, and started DOING because I AM... I've lived a life of ABUNDANCE, spiritually, monetarily, emotionally, sexually, and intellectually. e.g. My wife gives me more love and satisfaction than I can imagine. e.g. My clients give me more inspiration and love than I can imagine (We're hiring at the moment, and the number of clients running for those few positions is inspiring). But the many years I tried to live striving for that ABUNDANCE (Coming from "Here's what I need/want & I will do X when you give me Y), I just get more and more lack. Funny how that works. So if you keep asking these types of questions, doesn't that tell you a lot about where your mind is at?
@ thank you. I suppose we should realize aswell that we can’t really directly control what people give us but we can directly control what we give them so that should always be our primary focus.
Geoffrey, I’m watching all of the videos, I did the masterclass, I have a question about reconciliation. Does your partner know they’re participating in reconciliation in stage three or four? Not necessarily? With my husband, I would put us in one of those stages, but with the resistance he’s giving, and the hot/cold behavior, I think if he was asked he would still say we’re not reconciling yet. I’m not asking just yet 😊.
I love your videos but u have to stop giving these people hope I had so much hope after watching your videos u make it seem like u can defeat any situation but sometimes you can’t the hope was what drove me I became a better person learned how to love correctly but she don’t care at all she moved on and she blocked me over a gn text.
@@Ken.w0rld What’s funny is that pretty much 100% of the people who enroll in the program come in thinking they have done “everything” to the highest standards possible… Until they join the program and get their eyes opened to how high a level playing field men can actually play at. At that point, when they actually become the brightest lighthouse in the correct ways, they become so attractive, like flames to a moth. Just because you could not do it, does not mean it wasn’t possible :) How are you so sure you have all the right changes? And done to the right standards?
Great interview though I have some queries about the concept of filling ones cup . As per my knowledge every human needs social connection love etc so how can you fill those parts of the cup by yourself we need to rely on other people for that in a way. Or in this case the mindset to have is that the program will teach you such valuable skills that you can create a thriving connection with anybody so you don’t feel the need to hold on to one connection or relation too much . But that sounds like chimpanzeeing
Hey guys hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts? Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited)
Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> urlgeni.us/MCTSMIMEDS
Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions
To see how all my clients have achieved massive success through dire & hopeless circumstances, click here! ua-cam.com/play/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU.html
1:21:55 I like the video game analogy. I remember my brother and I played this one game that was very difficult, and he told me, NO CHEAT CODES until you've gone thru the game ONCE.
he taught me in that one statement that it's a process. Enjoy the process.
After you've beaten them game, and you want to go back and play it thru with unlimited ammo, then great. But you gotta get thru the game first.
So many people live life in a blur, because they never realize this. Ironically, DOING to HAVE also robs you of a lot of the HAVING that you want! Double wham.
Incomplete. This describes most men (and women). Well said G. I haven't seen a "healthy and good" relationship other than those you post on this channel. Most people honestly just put up with what they have and treat it as normal.
I would go as far to say that even the women that leave often end up remarried and miserable, or they give up on the love they hoped for and settle the second time.
I find that the layer of being incomplete is what essentially leads to the secondary layers. The point is that you HAVE to apply the steps taught here to even feel complete. The rest fixes itself, no tactics needed. Fix you and it attracts whomever.
Yup! And this has been the primary driver for me to keep going in this business. While there are definitely MANY people who never realize just how far short of GREAT their situations are for whatever reasons...
The good news is that there are MANY people who recognize the importance of the GREAT relationship, and many people who are willing to do the work to get there.
This is a very well-documented fact in so many books now - People need to remember that on your deathbed, NOT ONE person even says "I wish I got more power, money or worked more".
But EVERY PERSON regrets not working on their relationships, getting more experiences, and positive memories/legacy.
Remember what matters!
@@GeoffreySetiawan Love this. Agree 100%, thank you sir.
So watching this and re-evaluating myself including the last video...the bitterness was there and working on that now, I hadn't even noticed it until I dug it up about a week back. And my gears started turning like crazy, like I have this urge to just continue learning this content, which i didn't have prior. Like...dude I couldn't sleep and just wanted to understand why I was so unsatisfied the last few days. Too much to explain here in words, thanks for the reply and this in depth. It was a falling outcome, albeit you do have to learn how to like the process. I don't want to be the fat kid. No obesity shame meant
Hey Geoffrey, thank you again. One fear I have and many other women is to do what it takes to make men feel safe then they do not see any value in giving back, why maybe because of gender differences .. they still don’t understand what it takes to make their women feel really safe?? I don’t know if you see my point.
Another point is: It feels sometimes harder for a woman to actually make a man feel safe .. are there some differences in gender??? ( what about polarity doesn’t it play a role in this first step? -Or only in the last 5th step (intimacy) )
Thank you so much for your responses . I really appreciate you, your team and the work you are doing.,
Stay tuned in 2 weeks where we publish an interview with a client + his wife where we asked the exact same question.
But in the meantime, how do you think this fear is different with the many women interviews we have?
Do you think their partner understood how to create safety or the value of safety from the get go?
As we always say - You'll be surprised as tohow much your partner's behavior can & do change when you take it upon yourself to START changing the culture of the relationship (But you need to make sure you are actually changing it in correct ways).
But if both of you are just standing there and going "I'll start when you start" - no one ends up moving.
Hey Geoffrey. Another great intweview. I know at one point you said that it doesn’t matter if she’s out the picture 3-6-9 months but what about After a 1 whole year of giving my wife space and still it all seems like it’s getting worse and worse from giving her space. I know you talk about the paradox of change and I have shown how much I’ve changed but this valley of resistance has been getting worse over the course of a year. What am I doing wrong
How do you know your changes are the right ones? And how do you know they are massive enough? By what standard do you judge it, and what makes you so confident of your standards and definition?
Reason I say that is - In my own program, when the changes are the RIGHT ONES, and they are massive enough, and identity-based enough (as I have been discussing a lot in recent videos), you'll be like a flame to a moth.
But if the moths aren't at least CURIOUS, something is wrong there...
@ I’m following the changes of your clients and the program principles of the program I am with. So what about the paradox of change and confirmation bias? Doesn’t it take a lot of time because of how much safety I’ve broken? And Because we can’t meet or talk she can’t see my changes only how I’m trying to create emotional safety through my texts and space I’m giving her. That’s where I’m a bit lost to how I could possibly attract her like a moth to a flame. I have untethered. Given her all the space she has asked for, not defensive or upset about her life decision yet she is not open to coming back. I’m very confused. I know you said when you start asking how long until the outcome, you have lost but I’m just so confused. She told me she is very happy and content in life right now. She has all new friends goes out often, so I don’t know how I could attract her now through internal work so she would want to talk to me and open to see my changes when she’s living her best life
@@Johnjohn-187to what standard are you untethered? It sounds like you’re asking a lot of outcome based questions.
@theorangeofallahpbuh1840 great question. I guess just by what I see what the players in this program and the ones in my program. Untethering has definitely been very difficult for me and many times when I see the having disappearing I don’t thrive until after a day after resistance so I’m not anti fragile but I can feel it getting closer. When I do get resistance though, I never say anything to her, it stings I fight mind viruses but it takes me a day or so to double down on the process and untethering and thriving
Great interview though I have some queries about the concept of filling ones cup . As per my knowledge every human needs social connection love etc so how can you fill those parts of the cup by yourself we need to rely on other people for that in a way. Or in this case the mindset to have is that the program will teach you such valuable skills that you can create a thriving connection with anybody so you don’t feel the need to hold on to one connection or relation too much . But that sounds like chimpanzeeing
Simple - when you become an overflowing cup and lead/inspire others to become overflowing cups too, their overflowing cups will naturally flow to yours.
Ever since I stopped DOING to HAVE, and started DOING because I AM...
I've lived a life of ABUNDANCE, spiritually, monetarily, emotionally, sexually, and intellectually.
e.g. My wife gives me more love and satisfaction than I can imagine.
e.g. My clients give me more inspiration and love than I can imagine (We're hiring at the moment, and the number of clients running for those few positions is inspiring).
But the many years I tried to live striving for that ABUNDANCE (Coming from "Here's what I need/want & I will do X when you give me Y), I just get more and more lack.
Funny how that works.
So if you keep asking these types of questions, doesn't that tell you a lot about where your mind is at?
@ thank you. I suppose we should realize aswell that we can’t really directly control what people give us but we can directly control what we give them so that should always be our primary focus.
Geoffrey, I’m watching all of the videos, I did the masterclass, I have a question about reconciliation. Does your partner know they’re participating in reconciliation in stage three or four? Not necessarily? With my husband, I would put us in one of those stages, but with the resistance he’s giving, and the hot/cold behavior, I think if he was asked he would still say we’re not reconciling yet. I’m not asking just yet 😊.
I love your videos but u have to stop giving these people hope I had so much hope after watching your videos u make it seem like u can defeat any situation but sometimes you can’t the hope was what drove me I became a better person learned how to love correctly but she don’t care at all she moved on and she blocked me over a gn text.
@@Ken.w0rld What’s funny is that pretty much 100% of the people who enroll in the program come in thinking they have done “everything” to the highest standards possible…
Until they join the program and get their eyes opened to how high a level playing field men can actually play at.
At that point, when they actually become the brightest lighthouse in the correct ways, they become so attractive, like flames to a moth.
Just because you could not do it, does not mean it wasn’t possible :)
How are you so sure you have all the right changes? And done to the right standards?
Great interview though I have some queries about the concept of filling ones cup . As per my knowledge every human needs social connection love etc so how can you fill those parts of the cup by yourself we need to rely on other people for that in a way. Or in this case the mindset to have is that the program will teach you such valuable skills that you can create a thriving connection with anybody so you don’t feel the need to hold on to one connection or relation too much . But that sounds like chimpanzeeing