If your purpose is to be right, blame the other. If your purpose is to empower yourself, take responsibility. If your purpose is to learn, find humility. If your purpose is to heal yourself, share and understand your pain. If your purpose is to connect with others, love yourself. If you cannot love yourself, then perhaps you will learn to on a path of fulfilling your own unique and powerful center. Our own healing is the greatest gift each of of us has to offer this world.
Bell Hooks is brilliant. She understands the subtleties of language and how we perceive ourselves within our cultural context. She's a national treasure!
Each individual is an accomplished writer and speaker, yet what strikes me is their exquisite ability to actively listen to each other. It is a beautiful thing to witness!
Just wanted to add my own psychoanalytic perspective. Winnicott wrote about the 'good enough parent' and how important it was to not be neglectful but also to not be too good. Parents who are too good, who are too attentive, who say yes to everything are not preparing their children for the real world. I think the best thing we can do for our children is to be a strong base and allow them to venture and meet with disappointment. Teach them resilience. That, to me, is the most important trait in a human being - resilience. The best way to do that is to talk to them in a way where you are conscious that one day, your voice will be their voice of reason. The voice in their head. Love you, bell hooks
Bell thank you for existing and overcoming the struggles in your life. I am inspired by you and realized I too can overcome. I will be my best self for myself and for others.
Most of my intellectual heroes are white males (Chomsky etc.). Maybe that has something to do with my own being a white male. Who knows. But bell hooks is definitely among my heroes, and what I find surprising is that I've never seen her name mentioned alongside any of them. They always talk about and express admiration for each other, but bell hooks is out there, "geographically" isolated, even though her dissident ideas (despite details like particular focus, terminology, tone, etc.) seem very compatible.
Wow, Marci had the same dialogue I've had, to tell people my parents are black and the same as my grandparents. I hadn't even thought of my great grands. Same. And to even explain it, is something I have stopped doing. What difference does it make right? Looove this thank you!
I am having moments of utter disguise for Bell Hooks and her referenced experiences and perspective she had with/for black people yet determined to continue listening.
approximately 56:00 "my success with relationships with Black men is hard. I'm not blaming it on the crabs (as he points, generally, towards his crotch)" WTF? then he talks about a barrel. A barrel of crabs? Whaaaa?
+WBFbySteefen I don't think Darnell was talking about STI's. I think he was referring to the Crab-Barrel theory. In this case, the crabs represent black men who've been conditioned to hate not only themselves but each other because of the white supremacist patriarchy. Notice how he then goes on to say, 'I want to name the barrel as the system that turns otherwise loving beings into fighting beings'.... The barrel is the system.
+Eve Madarka Thank you for the clarification. Urban Dictionary: crabs in a barrel A syndrome where a group of like situated people hurt those in their community attempting to get ahead. Often this is applied to people in an impoverished community where one person is starting to get ahead. The collective community becomes jealous or filled with a sense of self-loathing, so they find a way to pull that person back down to the community's level.
EthnicEve the barrel is the system and the system is more accurately referred to as “existing”. When one of these academics can show us where, when or how a better “system” did or could exist, and what it would look like specifically, it’s not much more than a conspiracy theory.
Great non profit "blame community and self" rhetoric! Like, you know? Right? So, fer meeeEee... you know, right?? Let's have a conversation, like, umm, you know, right, maybe???
If your purpose is to be right, blame the other. If your purpose is to empower yourself, take responsibility. If your purpose is to learn, find humility. If your purpose is to heal yourself, share and understand your pain. If your purpose is to connect with others, love yourself. If you cannot love yourself, then perhaps you will learn to on a path of fulfilling your own unique and powerful center. Our own healing is the greatest gift each of of us has to offer this world.
Bell Hooks is brilliant. She understands the subtleties of language and how we perceive ourselves within our cultural context. She's a national treasure!
Each individual is an accomplished writer and speaker, yet what strikes me is their exquisite ability to actively listen to each other. It is a beautiful thing to witness!
It’s easy when everyone agrees, no?
Just wanted to add my own psychoanalytic perspective. Winnicott wrote about the 'good enough parent' and how important it was to not be neglectful but also to not be too good. Parents who are too good, who are too attentive, who say yes to everything are not preparing their children for the real world. I think the best thing we can do for our children is to be a strong base and allow them to venture and meet with disappointment. Teach them resilience. That, to me, is the most important trait in a human being - resilience. The best way to do that is to talk to them in a way where you are conscious that one day, your voice will be their voice of reason. The voice in their head. Love you, bell hooks
I never heard of Bell Hooks, I am simply blown away😱. Good god let me catch my breath...💕.
Bell thank you for existing and overcoming the struggles in your life. I am inspired by you and realized I too can overcome. I will be my best self for myself and for others.
So much good stuff in here. So much. Being a kid from domestic violence and drug use, this was some really good stuff to think about.
Great insight and touching on topics not just for black Americans but for the self.
I can't believe I'm just now finding out about you sister you are amazing
I love bell hooks!
Most of my intellectual heroes are white males (Chomsky etc.). Maybe that has something to do with my own being a white male. Who knows. But bell hooks is definitely among my heroes, and what I find surprising is that I've never seen her name mentioned alongside any of them. They always talk about and express admiration for each other, but bell hooks is out there, "geographically" isolated, even though her dissident ideas (despite details like particular focus, terminology, tone, etc.) seem very compatible.
this is equivalent to a self help book.
Wow, Marci had the same dialogue I've had, to tell people my parents are black and the same as my grandparents. I hadn't even thought of my great grands. Same. And to even explain it, is something I have stopped doing. What difference does it make right? Looove this thank you!
Okay, I listed from 43:00 to 1:01
the healing is through forgiveness to reach love, only to forgive in order to regain self respect and love.
I am having moments of utter disguise for Bell Hooks and her referenced experiences and perspective she had with/for black people yet determined to continue listening.
Yes yes yes.....
watch
approximately 56:00 "my success with relationships with Black men is hard. I'm not blaming it on the crabs (as he points, generally, towards his crotch)"
WTF?
then he talks about a barrel. A barrel of crabs? Whaaaa?
+WBFbySteefen I don't think Darnell was talking about STI's. I think he was referring to the Crab-Barrel theory. In this case, the crabs represent black men who've been conditioned to hate not only themselves but each other because of the white supremacist patriarchy. Notice how he then goes on to say, 'I want to name the barrel as the system that turns otherwise loving beings into fighting beings'.... The barrel is the system.
+Eve Madarka Thank you for the clarification.
Urban Dictionary: crabs in a barrel
A syndrome where a group of like situated people hurt those in their community attempting to get ahead.
Often
this is applied to people in an impoverished community where one person
is starting to get ahead. The collective community becomes jealous or
filled with a sense of self-loathing, so they find a way to pull that
person back down to the community's level.
EthnicEve the barrel is the system and the system is more accurately referred to as “existing”. When one of these academics can show us where, when or how a better “system” did or could exist, and what it would look like specifically, it’s not much more than a conspiracy theory.
Great non profit "blame community and self" rhetoric! Like, you know? Right? So, fer meeeEee... you know, right?? Let's have a conversation, like, umm, you know, right, maybe???
+Loud2013 💀💀💀💀💀
Bunch of bourgies