Narcissists are bad gift-givers
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- Опубліковано 8 вер 2024
- Why do narcissists do such a bad job at getting gifts? #narcissistic #narcissist #narcissism
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My wife threw a fit that her Christmas gifts came from Walmart, the following year she bought me sausage and crackers for Christmas. On my birthday she bought herself a bag because it was on sale, after buying the bag she didn't have money to buy me a birthday gift. The mind blowing part is she calls me the narcissist.
I hope you get out soon, before it destroys you. That’s her goal.
Narcissists are notorious for calling their victims Narcissists as part of a preemptive strike. It's tactical warfare. Then when you correctly call them out they can say you're just parroting them and continue to throw the blame right back onto you.
They also blame you for everything but when you tell them how their abuse is affecting your life they tell you to stop blaming others for all your problems and learn to take the accountability that they never will.
Damn hypocrites.
They give you things upfront that you don't want so that you feel too ashamed and greedy to ask them for what you truly need.
Exactly. In the beginning gifts that were nice but I did not want, never used. One was to monitor me. Just wild. So uncomfortable.
They are poor gift givers also due to their passive aggressive nature and their view of you not having anything over on them. They feel that they are under your rule if they get you want you want.
They are also notorious for taking all the gifts back! lol
Never good enough was/is a demeaning implication that is passively delivered to lower your expectations from them. It is in reality a switching of life coping capabilities. Do not accept the delivery. It is not ever just one trait that confirms affliction but the accumulation of many repeated.
It is always about the narcissist.
narcissists giving gifts lol?
the narcs that i used to know wouldn't lift a finger for giving a gift, let alone say anything meaningful without having to use a cattle prod.
ironically, the more you actually do for them, the less they appreciate what you do.
kind of like...linear regression lol.
keep fighting the good fight, keep the narc out of your life.
cheers, steven 🇨🇦
Her first gift was a top notch pair of shoes that I still use to this day because they are still good. Her second gif, in my birthday, was a cheap looking, poor-quality, self-damaging pair of shorts. I did notice the steep decline in the quality of the gifts in between the 3 months but didn't say anything because I thought it would be petty. I even appreciated the "sentimental value" behind the shorts when we were still together and I wasn't aware that narcissism was what was wrong with her.
Before I understood how toxic one was, he bought me a gift. I though it was jewelry of some kind bc he was very exited to give it to me. But the box contained an adult toy. I wanted to throw up.
My dad has been buying me long stemmed roses on Valentine's Day and sometimes my birthday because that's what HE wants to give me to look good when I really could use the $200-300 instead, but I guess that makes me ungrateful? Also, my exbf's dil got me the same egg cooker 3 years in a row. LOL
A lot of the gifts he bought me were all used. But heaven forbid you don't buy them a $400 Yeti cooler and everything else they asked for.🙄
The few things she did give me, she took them all back .WTF
So very true 👍
Yep I know this all to well. Most tof them I've burnt. She bought me a dogvtag from a pet tag maker. Thank God I've not had anything to do with her for five years and never ha e I looked back.
This is insightful. The narc-ex never gave me a unique, meaningful, thoughtful, generous gift, now that I think of it.
Now, let me say, the ring was big and beautiful. And I thought I was never love-bombed! It may have happened once.
I have another theory, the narc. can't give good massages (b/c it's not about them), nor are they typically good cooks because they lack the joy of going the extra mile re: cost, energy or time.
I’m so glad you posted this! I really felt like I was being selfish for not being happy with what she got me! I really would have been happy with something she made but I always received clothes that were two sizes too small or things from the dollar store. I bought her jewelry and things she said she wanted.
For them, it´s a transaction. They will give you something and always expect more in return - with both time and place of the return picked by them as well.
If there is nothing, they can get from you, don´t expect them to give you anything. If they´re parents, expect them to "forget" your birthday as well. And then blame it on you, because you were supposed to tell them 🤦♂
Important note: You can refuse their gifts. And if they arrange the situation in a way, that you cannot do anything else, than take it, then take it. But give nothing in return. What will they do, except badmouthing and smearing you - the thing, they were already doing for years?
My covert narc Marie hampson was great at giving gifts only because I gave her the money to buy everyone's gifts,never spent a penny of her own money,then takes all the credit for buying the gifts Asif it was her money, absolute parasite of a woman who will steal deceive and backstab her own family and friends,
a lottery winner once give someone R1million..... After the lottery winner went broke. They asked to borrow R2,000 from that person person. who did lend her the money.
A few weeks later the person wanted the money back. then the lottery winner had to reming them that "i once gave you a million Rand" i am not going to return the R2000.
so basicly some ppl just dont want to give you anything at all !!!
(they were also just lending the R2000, So they can sucker the lottery winner into giving them more money)
They don’t care they can’t be bothered with buying or spending THEIR money on you . Yep any gift I give him he doesn’t like if it’s a good gift like I got him a really cool jacket with an Machine embroidery eagle on the back and it cost $400 and I got it for him for Christmas it was a light jacket it’s really beautiful but he will never tell you that they won’t tell you that oh I really like your gift even if they do like it and he wears this jacket all the time now but you don’t get you did nothing right nothing you can do is ever right or good enough
After Christmas she handed me some small things I could actually use when working at my off grid property. No fanfare. No reason. nothing was said other than "I got these for you." , Very inexpensive stuff. What I couldn't figure out is how she was able to identify or even know what a bolt extractor was. I think she was detecting i was on my way out. I gave her cool socks She loved them because she likes sea turtles. with ocean turtless and antique gesso framed yellow butterfly for her office so coworkers could see she had a personality. Her desk had no indication anyone sat there. No personal things at all, like she had no plans to connect or stay. I gave a custom Yosemite Swiss Army Knife at her family xmas white elephant. Wrong choice b/c apparently most of them dont even fix, repair or really do anything that requires tools or knife. They made sure I knew no one wanted my gift. As time goes by I get more and more confused about the whole experience. Some things add up, while some small things do not add up. She knew I observe everything and analyze reasons for actions. When she gave me the gifts my first thought was these are things a man would pick out, not someone who only bakes and cooks. I converted a bedroom into a home office and supplied everything needed. Then she said she couldn't work from home any more b/c the books she had were not closed in time. At this point, I don't know what true and untrue. I just know whenever she took the rare time to tell me something it was to deceive or make me upset. Things like,"I got in trouble today for lying to my boss." we had already spoke about that and I was clearly upset that she in the recent past. She walks in the door. Makes the statement. Then offers no explanation or conversation. She was spring that on him. It also places me in a parental role with her. "Now, lttle missy, you knew lying is bad." The whole thing seemed unreal.
They want you to question your reality because it draws attention to their misery because that is the ONLY thing they are focused on! I need a girl who knows what a bolt extractor is and who wouldn’t insult me for giving her a card with hand picked flowers instead of expensive flowers due to the financial issues of life.
Damn. You're a catch. Whoever did you wrong must have a few screws loose, and was able to mask it. To a happier life. You deserve it!!! You ARE worthy!!! ::smiling emoji::
You got that right. Check out her other post with her wearing her red lipstick very nice. She’s got the NPD knowledge down to a science to. Smart girl.
In 2020, I received an Ipod...not an Ipad...and IpOd...a broken one. They found it on the ground.
Holy shit.
Thank you Danielle
Thank you for this. This gift became a contention at the end of relationship. He never gave one in two years and disappeared twice on my birthday. I told him lovingly that he doesn’t ask about my likes etc. he said he is a bad person and so for my happiness he is breaking up! I was left devastated.. and confused. This video explains it all.
This one’s deep
I’m not a great gift giver, but I always listen and try my best. Sometimes I do need direction and help though, and I’m not a narcissist. My narc ex did have some good gifts that she gave me, but after the first couple of years, her skills did fall off. And I did feel after a while that my gifts weren’t good enough. She’d say thank you so much, seem appreciative and forget about it after 5 minutes. She was pulling away from me for an old boyfriend in 2022 (still legally married the entire time I knew her, mind you), I didn’t know it and got her a Dr. Strange Limited Edition Build-A-Bear, and she did send me pics and videos with him, but only after I asked if I could see what he looked like and if she liked him.
My narcissist was a good gift giver. Sorry. Giving gifts was a way to show others what a great person she was. The last time I gave her a gift it was flowers and they were the wrong color. Never again did I give. But the best way for me not to get something for me, was for her to know that I would like to have it.
yeh my mum was a horrible very bad gift giver. I would complain that the gift was sh*t and that I would have preferred no gift than this what she fronted and she would retort "be thankful, show appreciation" taking the victim stance as though Im pig headed, but really she would do this for like 20 years. The gift ethos was basically like "Here: take this crap that I put NO thought into, that I know you dont want and give me respect in return."
I got the exactly same gift as the one I gave a Narc once... such is their ingenuity deficit 😂
ME: ''Thank you for buying this smartphone for me for Christmas, Dove.'' HER: ''Does it bother you that you got me all those gifts and all I got you was that phone?''🚨🚦🚧🛑🤔🙃
That's code for that's what she wanted it to do - bother you. Honestly, with all the narcissists I've dealt with in life, I seriously wonder why any of us, including myself, tolerated them. They offer nothing of value, truly nothing except they force you to choose yourself. That's the only thing you get out of it because there comes a day when you can no longer be with them without completely losing yourself. It's the one choice in that entrapment you won't regret.
@@steffiekensley8743 Yes, but, they set you up, s-l-o-w-l-y so as to not be detected. Then, they spring their ''Jack-in-the-Box'' suprise.
Narcissist are very cheap
You can say that again
God hurts reading all this. Everything single video worst narc
That is so true👍 👏 👏 👏. But a gift 🎁 is a gift or least that was what I was taught growing up. My ex use to say my gifts 🎁 sucked 😒 a few times. I was like wow!! That hurt when it was heart felt.
My narcissist X Thought his birthday was so special he wanted to take off work and couldn't understand why his boss wouldn't let him take off work. I don't think he even knew when my birthday was and he would get resentful if I would remind him that it was my birthday or valentines He was a nightmare
What Gift's ...husband Would Only Took Me Out To Eat if l Was Lucky and On my Best Behaviour.
My ex only bought me one thing that I actually liked in over a year of dating. The rest was all junk that I threw out lol smh
If you and I were a couple, I world give you a tripod
One year he gave me a grumpycare bear fir mybday
The only gift my now X Covert Narcissist GF,got me in 3 years , was a short sleeved dress shirt of Moderate style n expense at best. I was thankful,but bewildered as well. She's a woman of High financial means in her business/ Career ( $15 for a shirt , I'm unlikely to even wear n haven't worn since she bought going on 2 years now. Her income probably more than mine 🤔... If I added up ALL the GIFTS , and EVERYTHING Else I spent on her , In those 3 years ( OMG) $$$$...Im to embarrassed to even guess ,but she would need to live 1000 years to get close to mine to her. Funny ,she said often ,how money was never an issue with her , of course 😂 Because it never involved her money ..just mine
yaa😊
Oh my God 17 Valentine's Day he got me a ring and flowers he practically threw the flowers that mean the Roses didn't sign the card and then give me the cheap-ass ring that looks like it probably was his previous girlfriends or something then he was mad at me all the way to the casino that was a weird Valentine's Day weekend ever it was such a good weekend he's in the room all night on his damn phone find him every time I went up to the room he wasn't there and then it was over there and then I will be there then the reception is so bad there that he could take advantage of it would take all these little gadgets so that he can put the videos or watch TV or put his phone on the Tylenol with the hell he was watching but yeah he's the boringest person to go anywhere with unless he's drunk or wasted and then there's always a scene after afterwards something's going to take him off that will have to be going to the room all embarrassed I got used to do by myself and I have actually have fun I rather be by myself than him right next to me all the time at the slot machines cuz he just plays so fast it's always money in there when the other wins Big usually did give me a little bit give me a little bit of the money and then all good don't play next to me please go over there I just rather be by myself it's too embarrassing sometimes I got embarrassing after a while
Oh my God the first couple birthdays from 2012 to 2017 we were still in love on them phase we did a lot of cool stuff in between there was some crazy making and gaslighting and all that stuff but I was still kind of not even he would always ghost me and leave me talking other people never take him to your favorite concert he's going to ruin that to Iron Maiden and Anthony so left me at the House of Blues and Ironman and we had to walk all the way from The Forum all the way to Century and La Cienega cuz my phone died and we couldn't get an Uber and of course he couldn't use his phone no we couldn't get a taxi so we had to walk it all the way from The Forum in Inglewood to Century and La Cienega near goddamn by the airport that's a long walk no texting will pick us up and the entire walk is over there making a scene walking like 100 mph and I'm trying to catch up it's nighttime and I was not a good area if you know what I mean❤ we left the concert to the guy behind this God forbid he was head-banging to Iron Maiden music and he was like so close to him because the seats are so close up that he got irritated and we had to leave looking at it now that was my birthday that was my present and even have sex on my birthday and I really cared at that point I was so irritated and pissed off at him I've even talked to him I gave him the fettuccine and I didn't even care note to self and never took him to any place that I wanted to enjoy myself at and going back to the original theme birthdays he would say every day's your birthday I haven't celebrated none of my birthday since 2018 it was like nothing I would rather not even go anywhere because it's they would ruin it or make everybody ruin it for me I just didn't want to go anywhere after while I thought at least my 50th birthday we would go somewhere but no not even then he went by like this any regular day my family was really big on birthday so I expect my birthday to be a good one even if it's a small gathering a card or anything whenever I would buy him a gift on his birthday was never good enough you never use it I'm Looking Back Now everything I ever gave him or bought for him he never used the shirt a razor perfume a soap that I thought he like oh look I got you this and thought you would like it he was just leave it there but he never use it and I always ask them welcome you never use or like anything that I buy you for your birthday or for Christmas and he will be there whenever he was just not even answer but if it's sister got him a stupid shirt or Pendleton or sweater so stupid ugly Skechers shoes that are for girls home and those are the best presents ever he loved his present the wind is his first first family his nephews nieces or anybody that's outside of our family he sure loves to give them money free gifts through every time you see them even if we're even broke and haven't paid the bills or need to pay a bill he'll give him the money cuz those are his family members study with a weirdo why did I last so long with the person with the was I thinking
I’m terrible at getting gifts but it’s mostly cuz I’m poor 🥹