Black Hair Issues- Natural Hair, Weave, & Relaxers

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  • Опубліковано 12 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 820

  • @leigh4health
    @leigh4health 11 років тому +10

    I never relaxed my daughters hair and she refuses to get a relaxer to this day! She loves her natural hair!

  • @luvinmysailor
    @luvinmysailor 11 років тому +5

    This topic & the mindset behind it not only affects our daughters but our sons too. Alot of men don't even prefer a natural women. (I'm referring to the men who even prefer a black woman at that...that's for another day). I went to my stepson's school to pay on his lunch account and his class was eating lunch in the cafeteria (8th grade). He came home and said they made fun of him and was like "Why your stepmom came up here with her nappy hair etc". I laughed! I asked him if that's the best they can come up with? I told him if the only thing a kid can tease you about is MY HAIR (that is probably longer than theirs and their mommas) then I'm doing pretty dang good.

  • @BL3SSed-Bliss
    @BL3SSed-Bliss 11 років тому +3

    "How is it a preference, if you never had a choice?" DEEP. I'm not even done listening/viewing yet, but had to pause & comment. That statement alone is extremely profound, and goes far beyond the realm of hair. Wow!
    *Resumes Video*

  • @1hotshon
    @1hotshon 11 років тому +5

    All we ever heard growing up was nappy head this and that...it's really sad that it took 30 plus years to accept my own texture...which is perfect as is.

  • @kaylove3954
    @kaylove3954 10 років тому +6

    I was 7 when I got my first relaxer and I'm 14 and have decided to become natural. Relaxer burns were normal for me because I always thought it made my hair straighter and as I look back I realize how sad that is. at school kids are even crueler and always talk about everyone's hair when they don't even know how their real texture is. My hair is completely two different textures and I wish I never got a relaxer and I was young and wasn't even an option of being natural for me. My mom's excuse is my hair was too hard to manage, its not fair...I don't want to look like everyone else I want puffy curly Afro whatever texture hair. I WANT to look Different I want to BE Different

  • @katherinehopkins9174
    @katherinehopkins9174 10 років тому +4

    I remember being stuck in that mind state of "Good Hair" is something different than what I was born with. Growing up in a predominately white town that was filled with racism. It affected my self esteem because I felt I was ugly cause everything was different one everyone else vs what I had. I remember literally crying to my mom saying I don't want to have nappy hair but I don't have a relaxer please buy it for me. I love that I'm growing in my natural hair an truly loving myself more and more each day. You women are a true inspiration to me. Thanks so much !

  • @msmoenergydet
    @msmoenergydet 10 років тому +5

    My husband says other cultures appreciate our "Natural Hair" more than we do. I also know this for a fact because I get a lot of complements from other cultures multiple times over than from my own. It is hurtful and sad that we are uneducated and unappreciative. There was also a study saying that girls/women have issues with their hair from Middle School Age through 25. I find that I still have issues in doing my hair and need help but love natural hair. Thank all the Naturalistas for helping to alleviate problems with this through tutorials

  • @MyNaturalSistas
    @MyNaturalSistas  11 років тому +34

    Thanks for all of the feedback!!!! Loving the discussion and all of your stories so far! Chime in if you haven't had a chance!!!! Thanks for making this a healthy discussion! I JUST LOVES Y'ALL!!!! *in my Extra Country Texas voice, gotta love southern accents ;)

    • @kelhibeverly3853
      @kelhibeverly3853 9 років тому

      +hyperrat12 I don't think she's racist. I think she's mainly speaking about the "black" community. it's not racism that we consider ourselves as black - who are African American, or some part of "black" such as Jamaicans, Bohemians etc.. but I understand where you're coming from and I think you misinterpreted her message. she's speaking towards the African American community and is identifying us as "black" like Caucasian people, we call them white.. most even call themselves white. so in all honesty, he audience is towards black people and that's who she's talking to.

    • @ccintillate6718
      @ccintillate6718 9 років тому

      +My Natural Sistas
      Hello! Thank you for this video. The only reason my mom didn't put a perm in my head is because I told her I didn't want one. Which, according to what you have stated in the video, would be pretty weird. Why wouldn't I go along with what she said? How could I have said no at such a young age? I am not saying that you are wrong in anyway or that other young girls should or could have followed my example. I was lucky. I am saying though, for every majority there are some special cases. And It was strange looking back at it now. My mother and my aunt both have had perms for as long as i can remember. I've spent all my conscientious life hearing my mom complain, " I can't believe you didn't get my dad's hair." Good hair" in my culture is from type 2 waves the big Luscious curls of type 3. Hearing that phrase irked me then and it still irks me now. But for some reason I still appreciated my hair and almost liked it sometimes. My stubbornness paid off. Yes, I wanted to be like mommy, but mommy liked doing her own thing, and that's what I wanted to do. I am not trying to offend or make anyone feel bad.
      Don't get it twisted;I mean dealing with my hair was mess and I felt it. So many times i considered shaving my head or getting a permed because it was too much. Then my mom gave me an ultimatum. I was either going to get a perm or start wearing weave. This was right before i started high school. and I HATED the idea of weave. I just wasn't into it , but in my mind a perm would be worse. So I did. I ended up loving wearing it. This opened the door for me to learn how to take care of my natural hair and I've never been happier. I share this story, because this natural air movement is you will has been a godsend, or else I'd have a perm right now only because i didn't know how to take care of my own hair!
      I think we need to stop hating. Let the women do what shes wants with her own hair. It's a personal decision and no one should be forced to do anything they don't want to nor should anyone made them feel inferior.

  • @coilyShayPark08
    @coilyShayPark08 11 років тому +19

    I agree with you 100%... Growing up my mother made me feel less "prettier" than my lil sis cuz she was light skin with thick long curly hair. And as kids i had a perm and she didnt. As I got into my earlier 20's I told my ma how she made me feel.. Like I was the nappy head one and my eye color made me cute.. Now at 30 I went natural last year and discovered my hair has a mixture of curls coils and kinks and I LOVE MY HAIR.. ITS THICK, & versatile.. Its sad that black mother's project their own HAIR insecurities on to their children. And at the first sign of a NAP, KINK, OR BUCK SHOTS WE apply strong chemicals to the head of our lil girls and tell them HOW MUCH BETTER THEY LOOK.. 1ST LETS LEARN OUR HAIR than use it as the beautiful accessories to out face changing it how we feel fit... 

  • @angelamiller6372
    @angelamiller6372 11 років тому +2

    Thank you for this, maybe people will get the message and love their hair even more. I was a relaxed hair wearer but it was killing my hair. I wore weaves just to keep an "appearance" but that was getting expensive and time consuming. When I did the big chop on Christmas 2009, I haven't looked back since. I love my hair and I love me some me. I have some nice pieces that I've worn and still do occasionally but it's nothing like you own hair. I have friends that say "you need to comb your hair"or "why don't you perm it? " or "when are you going to get a perm? " I tell them this is my hair and its my style if you don't like it, don't look at it. My hair is my hair and I love it.
    Thank you ladies for all the uplifting, inspiring and empowerment you give, it keeps girl and women like me on point about our options.

  • @quirkyblackenby
    @quirkyblackenby 9 років тому +3

    I think there weren't enough resources about natural hair and so our parents didn't know what to do with it. My mom's hair was always straightened when she was younger and so when she got older she relaxed it and so when she had me she didn't know how to care for my hair when it started to tangle when I was really young. May mom has always said things about natural hair so when I decided to go natural I found it really hard to tell her. I think it's just that's how our parents were raised and so they do to us what their parents did to them.

  • @cherylneely7900
    @cherylneely7900 11 років тому +11

    My hair was pressed as a child and I got my first perm at 14. I've worn a perm for almost 34 years...I big chopped on December 14, 2013 and I'm so happy to be natural. People keep asking me what I do to get my hair to curl like that...what products to I use? Do I have a texturizer? No...I answer. If I knew my hair was this curly and gorgeous, I never would have chemically processed my hair in the first place.

  • @brendad2056
    @brendad2056 10 років тому +5

    India, I appreciate you bringing this issue to the forefront. I love the series you are speaking on about the Natural Hair not being only a movement but it needs to be a permanent way of life for all women of color. I'd been part of the relax community for years, not so much because I wanted to but because of the pressure to keep my hair flowing for others to appreciate and like. I knew this process was not healthy for my hair because I lost a lot of thickness to my hair. So when the Natural movement starting I was all over it. But the unfortunate thing was the stares I received at work. So in my professional environment I felt it necessary to dress even more professionally (suited daily) to prevent anyone from attempting to approach me about my TWA or my look being unprofessional for the environment. Since then 2 years have past and I wear my hair mostly as wash n' go. Now I love this look also and others do too. However,I get grown woman who say to me, "I love your hair you must have that good hair". I find that statement to be so ridiculous because when hair is properly taken care of meaning appropriately conditioned and protein treatments etc., all of our hair looks good and grows very healthy. We definitely need to educate ourselves more and be proactive in explaining our process to someone who doesn't seem to have a clue on how beautiful and strong the African-American woman's hair really is.

  • @anaturaltouch
    @anaturaltouch 11 років тому +1

    This is truly thought provoking. I really believe that the mindset behind the hair choice is the most important. My mother always says 'To each his own.' So, even if someone is getting a relaxer or has natural hair, the mindset shouldn't be set on trying to be like everyone else or do what everyone else is doing. There should be no division in the black community over our hair. OUR HAIR. No one else's hair. Our hair is so unique and really sought after in other cultures, but it seems as though in our black community there is so much uproar over which 'type' and 'style' of hair is right or wrong. I got my first relaxer around 7 or 8 and I'm 17 now and have been going natural for about 6 months now and I feel healthier and even more self accepting. No one should be going broke over doing their hair or be ashamed of what they have.

  • @darrenstafford9302
    @darrenstafford9302 9 років тому +3

    made to believe that we are outcast, when in fact we are unique beyond measure. intricate, delicate and God was truly showing off when he made us.. -Angie

  • @cherylquarterman4326
    @cherylquarterman4326 11 років тому +6

    I grew up getting my hair hot combed, I tried my first relaxer around the age of 10 only because my big sister got one. I've had braids, texturizers, worn wigs, and now i have been natural for just over a year. My parents never gave me a directive on what i should look like. They validated me as an intelligent and beautiful person no matter what look i had. That made the difference for me. Their opinion far outweighed the sublimal and often overt messages from TV and ignorance from society at large on what a beautiful black person should look like. In my opinion, I think the crux of the problem with embracing our varied shades and textures of our black selves is the image of beauty that has been instilled in us from various sources.

    • @queenbee9117
      @queenbee9117 11 років тому +3

      giiiirrll preach!! that was the BEST- most inspirational- MOST intelligent non- biased comment ive heard n a wile regardin ths issue!! if i cud giv u a high- five- i wud!! :) & now we gota chang th other "parents mindsets" so they don't teach (subliminally) self-hate- and hatred towards othr ppl tht dont look like them.

  • @ShaneiceCrystal
    @ShaneiceCrystal 11 років тому +10

    Soo true sis!!

  • @CaribbeanKinks
    @CaribbeanKinks 11 років тому +1

    You are SPOT on with this video…I agree that the our baby girls should learn to love themselves as they are wonderfully made. After that love has been deeply rooted, if they chose to relax, weave, chop it off, color it up it's because they KNOW that no matter what they will still love themselves.
    I recently "saved" at biracial young lady whose mother is not-black and had no idea how to care for her daughters natural hair, the problem was that this baby had all kinds of "textures" going on which is what raised my suspicion, turns out the mother had been "texturizing" her hair to make it "manageable" I practically BEGGED her to please let her daughters hair grow out and I'd show her how to care for it. She's been doing mini chops ever since and her hair is looking soo much better.
    This is a REAL issue and it certainly needs to be addressed in all our communities.

  • @ajrcurls4160
    @ajrcurls4160 11 років тому +1

    I do appreciate you bringing this up. I'm a mixed child. I think my mother who was a single parent relaxed my hair to make it more managable. I have a tight curl pattern and I'm tender headed to boot. I agree I wasn't given an opportunity to learn how to care for my hair in it's natural state. I do think it is strange that some people find straight hair a "trademark of beauty" when it is not the texture of hair we were born with! When I started letting my hair grow out from relaxing it I began to realize I don't need it or the massive amounts of heat from blow drying and flat ironing that I suffered in my childhood. I finally accepted my hair and I love it. THANKS TO YOU AND OTHER UA-cam NATURALS I GET MORE IDEAS ABOUT HOW TO STYLE AND CARE FOR IT.

  • @connellcrewfromcairns341
    @connellcrewfromcairns341 11 років тому +1

    I love it that this topic is open for discussion. I am of Vanuatu heritage, living in Australia. I have grown up relaxing my hair since I was like 10. I am now 22 and have in recent months decided to go natural. I have done all the extensions, weaves, relaxing my hair and think that all have their certain benefits. The reason why I personally chose to go natural is because it has been over 10 years since I seen my natural hair and I didn't feel like my hair would grow passed a certain length and would become brittle very quickly. I also was kind of over the whole relaxing regrowth or having to re-do weaves or extensions. I am not saying natural is for everyone. My older sister loves relaxing her hair and it just shows how people have their different tastes. I may relax my hair in the coming years who knows I'm all for any hair styles because it's what I feel like doing at that time.

  • @oramae645
    @oramae645 11 років тому +2

    As children, straight hair was the trend. Our parents only did what they thought was best for us at that time. I cannot fault them for that. Natural hair is trending, but the awesome thing is that this trend has become a MOVEMENT! More and more women have discovered what is naturally theirs and are spreading the word. UA-cam has played a huge part in this movement by spreading the knowledge we lacked to care for our hair! I believe through it we can redefine what is deemed beautiful, by reclaiming our natural tresses. Not to say that everyone needs to be natural but we need to teach future generations of young black girls and boys that natural is beautiful, and society will have no choice but to follow suit. Thanks for using your platform to address such issues that are normally ignored. I guess hair will always be an issue for women because as they say, "A woman's hair is her crowning glory."

  • @marlabooker6608
    @marlabooker6608 11 років тому +1

    I totally agree! I'm 37 yrs old and I've been natural for 2yrs now. Its a whole new world for me. I am literally trying to figure out the HAIR God gave to me and its really sad. We shouldn't be figuring out what to do with the hair on our heads. The fact is we NEVER had a chance! And sometimes I get aggravated with my hair and want to give up but I'm determined to love what I was born with. Now That I'm natural I know how to care for my 9yr daughters hair, before I'm ashamed to say I didn't know, because I was used to Chemically straight hair. And I had no clue as to how to care for natural hair... Thank you for speaking about this, it is an issue. I'm learning to love my hair, the texture and everything about it. Afterall it is the hair God gave to me! Love it!

  • @gisellewashington4252
    @gisellewashington4252 11 років тому +10

    This is my story, i had the option in life to be natural or relaxed, my mother didnt put a relaxer in my hair because she never had one, she said my granny used to use oil sheen and straighten their hair with a hot comb on the stove. So even though i was born in 94 and there were plug in hot tools she kept the old skool method and i can truly say im glad she did, but i will say when i got older and guys would ask me out, if i refused they talked bad about my hair sayin things like "thats why you need to go comb yo nappy a#@ hair" even from females in my school that didnt like me would call my hair nappy (its 4c btw), some days my twist out didnt come out right or the weather would ruin it, it would piss me off because i put so much time into washing,detangling and twisting it up that when something could so easily mess it up i'd feel less attractive cause my hair wasnt up to par. I wore a few natural hairstyles repeatedly because imo some didnt flatter my face well, i now wear weave, and it really is easier to manage, when i curl it i dont have to worry about if it'll come out right or not and if i use hair spray the weather cant ruin it too badly, if i straighten it every day it doesnt damage my real hair, i can bleach it or dye it and it doesnt affect my own, having 4c hair is hard for ME because im tender headed(even after 19yrs of being natural) i will never get used to detangling my hair, i dont like spending 3hrs for ONE hairstyle (it takes me that long for others it may be quicker), however what you said was dead on, there are plenty of women who will spend their last on some hair even miss paying their bills for it! Thats a little too far! Every since these "virgin" hair companies have been popping up left and right its now like a such thing of designer weave! Who has the most expensive? The best grade of virgin malaysian? What country it came from? If its from the beautysupply store thats for basic females and things like that. If they have the cash to blow, then more power to them. But if you cant take that weave off and walk with your head held high, you dont love yourself. If the chinese stopped selling weave and relaxers there would be alot of depressed women. All in all, great message, and i subscribed. Ttyl :)

  • @MsJLong27
    @MsJLong27 11 років тому +2

    This discussion is well needed in our community.I wish more black women were accepting of their 'natural hair texture'. I could care less if you choose to weave, braid, wig, etc. (b/c I do still) that individuals business. Personally, I like my hair in its natural state. Fortunately, my mom did not want to relax my hair, but I begged for one and she gave in. Unfortunately, my hair was neglected and would grow out and break off. So in MS I grew out the relaxer thru braids. Then late HS relaxed again. It wasn't until 2 yrs ago @ 22 I went back 'natural' and my hair has grown the longest I've seen it ever. My growth alone is related to proper/consistent care.

  • @Ms2l84u
    @Ms2l84u 11 років тому +1

    I have tightly coiled hair, my daughters have wavy hair of varying density and length from one another, and my son has a completely different texture and curl pattern than the rest of us. Bottom line, we all have individual needs and respond differently to products.
    As my family grows, we embrace our differences and identify our individual needs. It is a springboard for learning tolerance, not just for ourselves, but for others, too. The world has not gotten there yet. However, change begins with those brave enough to lead by example.
    Thanks Sistas for contributing to the web of choices available to those who seek new inspiration. Gotcha!!!

  • @ShadivaEarth
    @ShadivaEarth 11 років тому +4

    Yessss sista! You are on point with this video. Yes, I did think the burn was normal if I scratched before. I also had a perm around 6, never saw or experienced my natural hair until I was 21! So you are right about preference vs having had a choice to begin with. I will give my future little girls a chance to love their hair and if they want a relaxer when they're older, that's fine. Their choice!

  • @deborahwalker-assanga2392
    @deborahwalker-assanga2392 11 років тому +1

    Thanks India. I was a natural until I was 12 along with my three sisters. Our Mom used a pressing iron to straighten our thick locks.
    We all got relaxers around 10-12 yrs old. Even my Mom was natural until she was in her 40s. She pressed and curled it. We all had below shoulder length hair. She let us get relaxers to give her a break on pressing and curling 4 heads in addition to her own.
    Now, that I'm in my forties, I decided to go natural and have been for two and half years. I did a big chop early and got rid of my relaxed ends which made my transition short.
    I have 3-5 in length now and have cut it several times because of heat damage.
    I love my natural locks of hair.
    Love your channel!! Very inspiring...

  • @NaturesV
    @NaturesV 11 років тому +2

    I ask the same questions you were asking in this video all the time. My mom loves my hair now, but during the first year of being natural she told me all the time, "it's not professional," "you can't get a job looking like that, you look crazy". It truly is an embedded mindset and I always take the time to talk about and compliment our natural textures so that those who can't see that start to understand.

    • @shbaby9
      @shbaby9 11 років тому +1

      i agree with you! My mom and brother weren't use to me being natural ( they made comments like oh, i know your not gonna go around looking like that.. what you gonna do to your hair and etc'" so recently (like a week ago) i relaxed it which that didn't come out to well(yes,its still thick and "nappy" or kinky) but its like we can't listen to what other people say no more. regardless of how painful the words might be we have to stand firm with our decision and love ourselves even more!! and after all that I've been through they finally told me that they hated that I relaxed it and that I should've stayed natural. Sometimes people words make you feel worthless and if i would've known that ahead of time i still would've been natural

  • @AdrienneCoston
    @AdrienneCoston 11 років тому +1

    You make a great point! When you truly sit back and think about it, I know that I wasn't given an option because my mom made the choice to relax my hair when I was around 4 years old. Therefore, I continued to get a relaxer even after I became an adult because that is what I was taught and acustom to. However, last year I made the decision to stop relaxing my hair. There were a few reasons why I made that decision, but I can truly say that I have loved every minute of it.

  • @KiKiL
    @KiKiL 11 років тому +13

    Healthy Hair Care is key, weather you're natural or relaxed ! That's what matters. I've seen damaged natural and relaxed hair.

    • @KiKiL
      @KiKiL 11 років тому

      I watched the entire video and I commented how I saw fit. That's all !

  • @NaturallyNellzy
    @NaturallyNellzy 11 років тому +13

    #truth

  • @AdoreHerBeauty
    @AdoreHerBeauty 11 років тому +11

    I won't say that "Natural Hair isn't for everybody" because if it comes from your scalp that way then obviously.....BUT I do believe that Natural Hair is not for everybody's LIFESTYLE. Taking care of Natural Hair is a lot of maintenance and not everybody has them time or patience to deal with it. *Chemical Free 2 years*

    • @ldyluv6988
      @ldyluv6988 11 років тому +1

      I agree with you 100%,I LOVE my hair...but HATE detangeling,washing,deconditioning,and styling for 1,000 dag on hours ughh.Its really frustrating when you have to plan when you have to do your hair.Sometimes I think perming was so much easier...Can't win

    • @AdoreHerBeauty
      @AdoreHerBeauty 11 років тому +2

      I totally understand. For me personally, I've cut down on time spent on my hair and it has continued to grow and is still healthy. I try to remain as low maintenance as possible. I would be what is considered a "Lazy Natural"! LOL :)

    • @gisellewashington4252
      @gisellewashington4252 11 років тому

      Your hair is so thick and a good length as an afro! Do you have any tips on how to prevent your hair from tangling in the first place so the hair wont be such a pain to detangle -_- the best ive done so far is saturate my hair in conditioner, add a hot shower cap so it can soak in for about an hour then detangle in the shower, it helps but i still see an amount of breakage i'd like to decrease. My biggest issue is length retainment.

    • @AdoreHerBeauty
      @AdoreHerBeauty 11 років тому

      I had that issue as well. No matter how gentle I was with my hair I always seemed to have alot of breakage. Then I found out I was sensitive to protein. Majority of my products were protein filled. So once I switched to protein-free products or products which didn't contained less harsh proteins I didn't experience much breakage. All I can recommend is saturating your hair in conditioner...work a little warm/hot water into your hair to give your hair more slip and detangle in small sections with a wide tooth comb.

    • @lenisemicolon
      @lenisemicolon 11 років тому

      Giselle Washington
      I consider myself "4C" and I've prevented tangling by keeping my hair stretched. I put my hair in twists while I deep condition, shampooing, etc. Anytime I'm saturating my hair with water or conditioner I use the twists so the shrinkage doesn't result in tangles. Then when my hair is styled from a twist out, for example, even if it shrinks up it still stays in organized sections. The hair isn't free to wrap around itself as much.

  • @Hermimarx
    @Hermimarx 10 років тому +1

    Im sixteen in highschool, ive been natural all my life. Living in Africa I was never ridiculed but rather praised for it. I recently moved to the US and in the south ive had to deal with bullies who tell me my hair isnt beautiful. Thank you so much for this, for giving me hope

  • @vlilyb
    @vlilyb 11 років тому +2

    Yess! You are on point! But this is not only about persectives women, men too! My father often told me I couldn't do this or that with my hair because I didn't have the right kind hair. Or he would get on my that my hair was dry looking because I have low porosity hair and simply my hair texture causes the appearance of dry hair. Just recently when I braided my hair in two plaits he told me I needed a headband because my hair was slicked down and I looked like Aunt Jemima. Also often at school I've had many black male classmates tell me that my natural hair was nappy. As a senior I have bigger things to worry about rather than what people think of my hair!

  • @itsKiyya
    @itsKiyya 11 років тому +1

    I love how you put this. In my personal experience I was raised with natural hair and protective styles. My hair was straightened and relaxed in middle school when and because I asked. Now I'm 19 and I am back to being natural and I'm reaching my two year hairiversary soon. In my hair life so far I've dyed my hair, had weaves and braid extensions so I know what I prefer because I've explored and I've explored on my terms. I feel it has to be your choice for you to categorize it as your preference. To call something a preference you have to know the other options personally to be able to compare and choose.

  • @brybaby141
    @brybaby141 11 років тому +2

    I have been natural up until the age of 15. As a child I was actually the one begging my parents to get a relaxer because of how hard it was to both straighten and keep my hair straight. I mean seriously y'all, I was like a chia pet (lol). I never genuinely hated my hair, I just did not like how it could never stay straight like those with a relaxer. So my mother finally let me get one and, at first, I loved how silky and smooth my hair was. But after awhile, the excessive heat and over processing caused my hair to become thin and heat damaged. The little amount of curls I had in the beginning were gone. I personally am glad my parents made me wait so long to get a relaxer because the time I spent with my natural hair allowed me to form a strong enough bond with it to inspire me to transition a couple years later. Now I am 20 years old, it has been a year and 3 months since my last relaxer and I am on my way to being fully natural again. I think we should all love our hair no matter the texture/quality. All hair is good hair and the sooner we realize that, the sooner we could all be happy and stop the hate! :)
    (Sorry for the paragraph lol)

  • @ShelbyMarie1794
    @ShelbyMarie1794 11 років тому +3

    I got my first relaxer when I was 2. And most of my teenage yrs I had insecurities about my hair bcuz I had really bad traction alopecia. I was going thru things no teenager shld go thru, crying because I felt ugly cuz I ddnt have hair. As a black teen you already go thru a lot of stuff. On the bright side, I went natural at 17 and my edges are slowly growing back. They may not fully grow in but it's a start.

  • @jenniferrivard3263
    @jenniferrivard3263 11 років тому +1

    So sad! I work in a beauty supply store and I see especially people buying products for children who have no clue what to do with natural hair or are forcing chemicals on kids because they get picked on at school. I think no matter what your ethnicity or hair type the less damaging chemicals and products you can use the healthier you will be emotionally in the long run because that's you not someone that other people have decided you should be. The one thing that gives me hope is that I am beginning to see a lot more GOOD products available for natural hair and even products specifically for transitioning which hopefully will encourage people to consider natural options. I just wanted to say I love your videos they are very well spoken and informative and you are truly a beauty inspiration and role model. :)

  • @eightsouls5143
    @eightsouls5143 10 років тому +1

    Ive had weave most of my life. Ive all ways gotten cornrows going to the back with weave in my hair with the beads at the end. I didn't get weave ponytails until i was like in 3rd 4th grade. Now that I'm older (13) I've learned how to love my hair. I did my big chop yesterday and i feel great. I just wanted to say thank you. You guys have inspired me so much.

  • @andrearivers614
    @andrearivers614 10 років тому +7

    I wear my hair relaxed because thats what I chose to do. But I never relaxed my daughter hair, and I'm glad that I didn't because she loves her hair and the skin she's in If she decide to relax her hair, that will be her choice. She's 21 and she loves her hair and she decided not to relax it. I feel like as mothers we shouldn't relax our childrens hair let them decide when they get older.

    • @simplyprecious441
      @simplyprecious441 9 років тому

      I am thankful for people like you in the world. I am currently transitioning to natural and I've always wished that more parents gave their children the decision as opposed to making it for them. I love my mom but there are times where I look back and wish that she had not relaxed my hair at the age of 5. I didn't have a choice and I had the mindset that natural hair was not pretty and wouldn't look right on me because I wasn't familiar with it. Of course I no longer feel that way :)

  • @kmarcol1
    @kmarcol1 11 років тому +1

    Thank you for this. I never had relaxed hair. My hair is 3c and very fine. I wore weaves for years and I finally took out my weave and chopped my hair. My issue has always been length and density. My hair grows shoulder length and thin. I want thick long bushy hair. I wear wigs as a protective style. I love being able to run my fingers through my hair but I still have a complex about the length and density. Continue with the dialogue. It's so needed. Thank you!

  • @kimayabramble4199
    @kimayabramble4199 11 років тому +1

    Great great great message! I had my first perm in middle school when I was 12. I begged my mother to bring me to the hair salon and she refused. Being a 'daddy's girl' my father said he would pay for it and my mom caved in after weeks of tormenting her. Long story short, at that time she wanted me to learn from my mistakes because she always warned me that the grass is not always greener on the other side. It took me a year to grow my hair back to it's normal state of being natural but then starting high school was another thing. Since everyone was permed, it seemed like the best, easiest thing to do when it wasn't. Since then, I have learned to love my natural hair thanks to Chris Rock with his movie Good Hair. It was definitely an eye opener.

  • @JessicaDeAnna
    @JessicaDeAnna 10 років тому +2

    India, India! PREACH!!! You are speaking the truth! You are speaking my life! This is what i try to explain everyday! Once you go natural, you become a walking advertisement. Enlighten our women! Enlighten our ppl!

  • @NaturalLuxeDiva
    @NaturalLuxeDiva 11 років тому +5

    Awesome topic. I do believe that we all should embrace our natural hair. Straightening is an option but being natural should be on the top of the list. I was amazed to actually see the texture of my hair when it started to grow out. So many years of relaxers because we thought that was the norm.
    Thanks so much for addressing this topic. Have a BLESSED week :-)

  • @mrsanderson3547
    @mrsanderson3547 10 років тому +1

    I LOVE THIS! I am big on being mindful of the messages that we send to our young girls. Since we know better we have to do better! I always tell me daughters how beautiful their hair is. It is crucial to their development and self-esteem. No matter what society tells them, when they walk out my doors they will know that they are beautiful. IT STARTS AT HOME!

  • @kikicouture10
    @kikicouture10 11 років тому +49

    I never had a choice, I was relaxed around 6. Let me ask this question to you all, if mothers so called put relaxers in little girls hair because it's suppose to be more "manageable" why is it that a lot of the little girls I see have short hair, some I see with long relaxed hair but if it's suppose to more manageable wouldn't you think they would retain more length? And to those that say mothers have lives, work etc doesn't that sound a little selfish the kids didn't ask to be bought into the world and if the mothers have no idea of how to care for natural hair, it's called pick up a book and read it. We need to stop with the excuses of not knowing.

    • @NaturalLiLovely
      @NaturalLiLovely 11 років тому +4

      I think it has a lot to do with ignorance because your right I also noticed that many who relax their hair or their child's hair, their hair is broken off or thin. Many do not know how to take care of relaxed or natural hair. If they knew how to properly take care of their relaxed hair they would realize that it can also seem hard to manage in its own way. Healthy hair takes work whether relaxed or natural. So what Im saying is that what people don't realize is that if they put in effort to learn and care for their hair they would realize that all hair takes a lot of work and can be considered hard to manage so getting a relaxer isn't really a good excuse in terms of manageable.

    • @kekemama28
      @kekemama28 11 років тому +3

      I am a mother and as a child I didn't have the choice of growing up natural I was given relaxers till I was 17. I rather my daughter grow up and make the choice for her self when she gets of age to do so with her hair but growing up I want her to know she came into this world with beautiful kinky curly hair which is a part of who she is and that she doesn't have to look what is expected by the worlds standards. We have to teach our daughters to take pride in who they are

    • @Stfranklin09
      @Stfranklin09 11 років тому +6

      I started getting my hair relaxed around age 4-5 because my mother believed it would make my hair more "manageable". But if you look at pictures from before my hair was relaxed to after you can tell that it just isn't true. Pre-relaxed my hair was past my shoulders. My hair has never touched my shoulders since. I think the notion behind relaxers making hair more "manageable" for children does come from being ignorant of the true damaging effects of relaxed. In my case, maybe even in yours, my mother grew up in 70s and 80s. She wore her hair natural because that was in style. When my mom started relaxing, it was because it was in style. With the exception of the occasional 'bad perm,' relaxer damage wasn't really a concern with a lot of people. My mom didn't start relaxing her hair until after I was born and it wasn't until now (22 yrs later) that she truly started to realize just how bad relaxers can be. Just the other day ( I just did my big cut) my mother point out that she forgot my hair was curly/coily naturally.

    • @kikicouture10
      @kikicouture10 11 років тому +1

      I agree, great post, thanks for sharing your story. We all have to knowledge ourselves whether the hair is relaxed or natural.

    • @LivingInTheProcess
      @LivingInTheProcess 10 років тому +6

      I also was relaxed when I was young. I also, use to think that having "Good hair" meant not having what I was born with =(

  • @mishamccrea5303
    @mishamccrea5303 11 років тому +1

    Most of us have been conditioned to believe that our natural hair is not acceptable. Why not ? It grows from our scalp, I've always believed that it was shameful to have big hair. But I've learned to love me just as I am. I chose not to wear weaves or perms. I just want to be free in who I am. The mentality behind the need for perms and weave is why I am against it, not the weave or perm.
    Also, I think it alters who you really are, weaves change dramatically your true features. Why would you want that, we need to teach our young daughters they are beautiful and being an example that they can relate too. Thanks for bringing up this much needed real talk!

  • @AngieWalk
    @AngieWalk 11 років тому +2

    WOW!!! My mom never permed my hair...she was against it but would braid or press and curl. When I started college I had healthy, thick, long hair but felt left out in college so turned to perming my hair. And 20+ years later watched my hair get thinner and thinner and weaker and weaker! Now I'm NATURAL and Love It! Love my texture! Love who I AM!!! Most of the women in my family wears their natural hair and it's so normal where I live (DC) and most of my girlfriends are naturals and we all exercise our options but for me personally I will never wear a weave or get another perm but I don't hate on women who do wear them...

  • @curlykiki8
    @curlykiki8 11 років тому +1

    learning to love my natural hair is not only a gift i've given myself, but also my personal children as well as the ones in my classroom. thanks for this, india.

  • @AmazinglyCarefree
    @AmazinglyCarefree 11 років тому +2

    I didn't have the choice in relaxing my hair. There was always a stigma that"nappy" hair was ugly in my family and the people I grew up with. However, if you had wavy hair, you could go without a relaxer. Because I criticized people growing up for not maintaining their relaxers, I relaxed my hair all the time. For me, it kept me from having to know was I ugly with "nappy" hair. In the year and a half that I've been natural, I've come to the revelation overall that regardless of what you choose to do to your hair, you have to love securely in your skin.

  • @KerryMcKenzie
    @KerryMcKenzie 11 років тому +3

    I think the majority of the issue is that even if parents relax their children's hair (for whatever reason), as you mentioned some parents go as far as to tell their children that natural hair looks "bad". Just like when you tell a child they have crooked teeth or cross eyes, they remain conscious of it growing up and then being compared to their peers. Once they have a mindset that it's unacceptable to have this "flaw" then they start WANTING to be different than they are.
    I personally had my hair relaxed at a young age and am so happy it was. My mom never told me that my natural hair was or is bad, nor has she ever made me feel like I was different from everyone else in any other way. I was simply a bawler and mom wasn't able to get a comb through, no matter how wide the teeth. As a newly single parent with 3 jobs, she did it for both her benefit and mine. Considering at the time it was very difficult to find information on hair care since the internet wasn't prominent and widely available to everyone, she did her best with what she had.
    Now that I'm older and a part of the digital age, I'm able to do my own research, make my own decisions and I choose to continue to remain relaxed since it's manageable for me. I relax at MOST twice a year and as my natural hair grows out I deal with it using moisture, twist outs & flat irons. :)
    It's what people put in their child's head that matter, not what they do to their heads (hair).
    If that were the case, parents getting their kids hair dyed young in life so their child can look a certain way or otherwise modifying their hair so they can "fit in" would all need to be held accountable to making their children feel less worthy in their "natural" state - no matter what race you're from.

  • @TheShanaList
    @TheShanaList 10 років тому +1

    I decided to relax my hair last year September after being 4 years natural. i have transitioned twice before that and went back to natural multiple times. I love my hair either way. I don't see why black people have to always stay divided with everything. I completely agree with you and the mindset of young women I think it is terrible to pass it onto the children. I am guilty of being that woman that would never want to be seen without weave. I am so glad that I have gotten over that "phase" and I am so glad that I am embracing me regardless of relaxed, weave or natural. Being comfortable with myself was the real journey. And i look better than ever and feel better than ever and my hair is growing like crazy with my healthy hair practices and it started with me learning how to take care of my hair naturally. Love your channel. stay beautiful.

  • @chelseaa4414
    @chelseaa4414 11 років тому +2

    The motto I've been liking lately "I'm not going natural, I'm returning to my NATURAL" I'm only 16 and I don't remember a time when I had ever seen my natural hair. I never even knew that my relaxed hair wasn't my real texture. I thought getting perms was just something people did. Over the past year or so my addiction to UA-cam has exposed me to soo much new information. As of right now I've been transitioning for a year and recently been having an urge to cut those ugly stringy relaxed ends off, it feels so damaged. through social media I have seem people who look like me, a dark skinned girl rocking their thick luscious natural hair and that's inspiring and it should be to continue.

  • @davis1035
    @davis1035 11 років тому +4

    I have long relaxed hair and I love naturals, which is why I subscribe, I'm considering my options; but it's a big deal for me since I would have to start over. Still deciding.
    I love the fun textures of Afro-American hair. I love the styles and I love the freedom. On the other hand, I love my ponytail, so it's a lot to think about. For me it's the image of myself that I need to change and that will take a lot of work. For now I have UA-cam to help me learn how to take care of my hair.
    With that being said, I wanted to comment on "weave." I don't have a problem with weave in general, I do have a problem w/ how many videos out there are saying "how I do MY hair" that's really misleading. I expect to see someone doing processed hair similar to mine, I'm looking for tips and tricks. Instead I get someone styling their wig, which is synthetic or asian hair. Much easier to manipulate than what I'm working with. So yes, I'm ticked when I figure that out. It is yours you bought it, but a heads up will save you my nasty comment.

  • @Lenore116
    @Lenore116 11 років тому +1

    I love the fact that you took the time to have this positive discussion. It is a conversation me and my 5 sisters have been having since I decided to go natural 16mos ago. Thank u for doing this!!!

  • @nancydrew5
    @nancydrew5 10 років тому +4

    I got a relaxer as an adult. However my mother would take me to the beauty salon to get my hair hot pressed, straightened using a hot comb. Every 2 weeks. My hair became heat trained. I never grew up to appreciate my hair as it naturally grew out of my head. Nappy hair was considered unkempt. That is the mindset. Blacks default to Euro hair as the standard on how they wear their hair. And it has gone on for so long it is ingrained in the minds of black women. Even naturals will still want to straighten their hair with flat iron and say this is an option.
    But a change has happened and black women are embracing natural hair styling more without using chemicals or heat. The hair industry owned by whites is making a killing selling natural hair products. So the irony is while blacks maynot be using relaxers as much as they did 20 years ago, they are still hooked on some type of styling product.
    But I am glad to see the rise in embracing natural hair by women of color.

  • @rsbslimsmom
    @rsbslimsmom 11 років тому +1

    My sista thank you so much for doing this video. I've been natural for a little less than a year now and I have to admit it has been an emotional roller coaster. Frustrated with the realization that I am going to be 50 years old and I am not familiar with the hair texture that God blessed me with. When I get compliments from women of other ethnicities I appreciate it but when I go into what I did to achieve the style that I am wearing, their eyes sort of glaze over. It's so crazy because I'm sensitive about my hair journey. Even though it's almost been a year, this whole experience is still raw for me. I am definitely at the point that I LOVE my natural hair and I'm still learning how she behaves and why she behaves the way she does. It's really pretty awesome. I have decided to create my own wig but not because I dislike my natural hair it's moreso just to have a different style option without the anxiety of the possibility of causing heat damage. So again, thank you sis for your discussion / forum.

  • @sydneyharris6226
    @sydneyharris6226 11 років тому +1

    I truly appreciate this video. I've been relaxed all my life and when I asked my mother could I go natural she told me no. I tried to go natural on my own but didn't have enough support to know how to care for it in the process so I had to get a relaxer. It's really a hard situation for women from the black community.

  • @seemycurls
    @seemycurls 11 років тому +3

    Nicely said!!! Thanks heaps! Natural hair styles aren't as BIG down here in Australia. I've just started my natural hair journey and have been getting lots of comments from my white and black Aussie friends! Blessings.

  • @indiestylejunkie
    @indiestylejunkie 11 років тому +1

    I'm currently documenting my journey from relaxed to natural on UA-cam. I've never seen my curl pattern and it's something I'd like to embrace now. It's important that whoever chooses to go natural actually WANTS to and is READY. Can't wait till I finally BC.

  • @jasystanton
    @jasystanton 11 років тому +1

    A few years ago all I would do was straighten my hair. I was natural but the only time people said I was pretty was when my hair was straight. Then when my hair began to get split ends and burn I looked to your videos. When I first began to wear my hair curly people would ask "do you like your hair?" "Why does it look like that". It made me feel self conscious. Eventually I began to love it and when I did I felt pretty no matter what anyone else had to say. We should let our youth know they are pretty with their natural hair before committing them to relaxers. Thanks for the inspiration and helping me love my hair

  • @Tessavictoria123
    @Tessavictoria123 11 років тому +1

    I agree growing up it was a rite of passage for us to get our hair relaxed. we have never been toy or shown that our big beautiful coils are just as appealing as long straight hair. I think slowly but surely we are beginning to understand the nature of all hair and embracing it.

  • @ahall98
    @ahall98 11 років тому +5

    I made the "choice" to get a relaxer around 12 or 13. I begged my mom until she gave in. I wore the Mickey Mouse puffs as a young child but as I got older my hair was pressed. Relaxers for me was a "rite of passage" and I thought that was what you were supposed to do since EVERYONE around me was relaxed. Unfortunately, the women around me didn't know how to take care of natural hair so they couldn't show me. However, in this day with all of the info and products available to take care of natural hair I find it very ironic that babies are being relaxed and weaved up at younger ages. I had no idea how gorgeous natural hair was until I discovered YT. I am 3 yrs relaxer free and still learning my hair. It is definitely a journey but it is one I wish ALL women would take at least once. You CANNOT make an informed decision on what is for you based on what your mom told you your hair was like at 3 yrs old. You must give your own hair a chance and if it isn't something you want to deal with at least you know based on experience. Good discussion but a lot of black women don't want to look deeper into the "why" because it is "just hair" although most black women can't tell you what their real hair texture is!

  • @bylyn9846
    @bylyn9846 11 років тому +3

    I did not realize I had less confidence with my hair till I went Natural. The Love and own it.. Confidence I have now. Our hair is like finger prints, similar but not exactly like someone else's. What I mostly hated about wigs and weaves was not how good I looked wearing them, but the constant crawling of peoples eyes in my head to see if the hair was mine and asking me is that my hair. When I style my own hair I got the same type of annoying responses. It's what ever make You feel good. I have notice a lot of other races wearing extra hair but we assume its theirs verse them assuming its not ours. I love the length retention and fullness of natural hair. And that finger print no one can duplicate. Weave when its laid, it looks so good, but it was leading me towards anger management. When my natural hair becomes longer, will allot of people ask," Is it yours?" (often)

  • @Chrysalis573
    @Chrysalis573 11 років тому +1

    I think i got my first relaxer when i was 6 or 7..So i was one of those who didn't get to have a choice on what i wanted for my hair. My mother, i mean..god bless her, is still till this day learning how to take care of hair overall because when my hair was relaxed she was not keeping up with them and then hot combing my hair without heat protection. Then i got into the whole weave thing and went through going to people who were very heavy handed and just painful which resulted in my hair breaking constantly. I'm so glad my hair was able to recover and it's growing and natural. I think that us as women, black, mixed, whatever are progressing and learning about our natural selves and i do see a lot of natural haired children in the future which is awesome! Loved this video!

  • @AngelaJacksonGoNatural
    @AngelaJacksonGoNatural 11 років тому

    I love this dialogue! It's a necessary and important conversation. I had been relaxed since I was eleven. I fell to the peer pressure of my friends and begged my mom for a relaxer. A year in a half ago I went natural for a healthy scalp and hair. It was a natural progression for me - I exercise, I'm vegan and now my hair is a part of my lifestyle. I love my hair! Yes it took me some time to get used to my texture and to understand how to care for my hair. I'm still learning! Still getting to know "her". I wore weave as I transitioned for a year as I had the relaxer slowly trimmed out of my hair. Personally, I would not have been able to transition without weave, it made the transition bearable.
    I have a daughter whose hair I relaxed at eight to make it manageable for me and less painful for her. I regret it. She is an adult now and transitioning to natural. My granddaughter will never have the decision to relax made for her! We all love our natural hair! I think as more women understand how to care for and love their hair they will.

  • @ChicaRizada94
    @ChicaRizada94 10 років тому +1

    LOVE this video! This is a great conversation. I was fortunate in that my mom kept me natural until I was about 10/11; I was jealous of my friend's hair (she'd been relaxed since 2 or 3). My mom didn't want to at first, but I begged & implored her. So I got one, & after watching my hair thin for 7 years, I went back to natural.

  • @ashleyhodges5494
    @ashleyhodges5494 11 років тому +4

    I agree. I believe at some point we as African-Americans were convinced that kinky hair and dark skin equaled ugliness. We passed these beliefs down to our children. Even the media tells us straight hair and light skin are better. Kinky or straight, light or dark be a beautiful person. Be an individual.

  • @avidlearner3576
    @avidlearner3576 11 років тому +4

    I agree 100%. We should definitely give the babies a chance to choose and make an educated decision. I don't think relaxers, natural or weave is "Bad". I think that a lack of healthy hair care practices is what can make any of these choices turn for the worse.

  • @KolanaKurls
    @KolanaKurls 11 років тому +1

    I was relaxed at 12 years old. My mom took care of my hair till I was 11 years old and it was mid back length and beautiful. Then my hair became my responsibility and I just didn't know what to do with it. My hair broke off horribly so I begged for a relaxer. I wasn't taught how to care for it in its natural state and I was getting lots of negative attention in school. Fast forward 12 years and I've decided to transition. I'm learning that my hair isn't impossible to care for, I just need to KNOW MY HAIR. I'm loving this journey of transitioning. I just wish I had done it sooner.

  • @nickstep817
    @nickstep817 11 років тому +4

    I got a relaxer because I was tender scalped and I still am but I cried when my mom did my hair and she gave me one to make the process easier for me I guess. I also wanted to go natural 10 years ago and wanted a straw set to help me transition and I to was looked at with scorn when I went to a salon and was told that I could not get a straw set unless I relax my hair. I was met with opposition every step of the way and ended up relaxing my hair but now I am 1 year natural and Loving every moment even the moments when I get frustrated. Any thing worth anything takes time! and that goes for our hair as well.

  • @DiannaDenise
    @DiannaDenise 10 років тому +2

    I'm natural right now and strongly considering going back to relaxed hair because I'm still damaging my hair and my damaged natural hair is harder to manage than my damaged/weakened relaxed hair. I think that you're right, many mothers perm their daughter's hair from a young age because they don't want to deal with it instead of letting the child decide for themselves. In reference to "natural isn't for everyone" I can understand why people say that. Some people like low maintenance hair and sometimes find that in relaxed hair over natural hair.

  • @channanmarie3792
    @channanmarie3792 11 років тому +1

    I was tired of relaxed hair because i knew that i could have thicker hair than i did at the time. There was one comment that has stuck with me through my transitioning period. A co worker of mine said " girls with your hair can't go natural because you dont have a pretty curl pattern " which hurt because i was starting to love my natural texture and i started comparing my hair texture to other naturals. I feel like we should be spreading that all hair is beautiful no matter the hair type.

  • @ShainaaBW
    @ShainaaBW 11 років тому

    It's so important to love our hair. What was said in the video was true. I've been natural for 4 years now, and when I straighten my hair and tell people I'm natural I constantly hear "it looks like that because you have good hair". Till this very day I ask the question "what is good hair?" It's important to teach young girls that there is no such thing as good hair. And the importance on not letting things like hair define who you are. We must love the hair we've been given. It's a gift no matter the length or texture.

  • @wms2s
    @wms2s 11 років тому +2

    I believe it is the lack of "knowing" how to treat natural hair. And I agree that it's due to growing up and my mom putting relaxers in my hair at a young age. I was only 4 or 5 at the time. And she did it because she had to juggle school,work,and her 4 children. No it's not an excuse to continue putting relaxers in my hair...but unconsciously I felt it was necessary to put in a relaxer in,in order to maintain my hair better. However, I've tried going natural twice and lol it is a process. The 1st time I didn't have patience w/ my natural hair. Now, this 2nd go around I've learned to be patient with my hair and I've actually learned how to tell what my hair needed & what it did not need. My year mark on being natural will be in April of this yr. & I'm excited! All in all I feel there are plenty of options out there but the k e y to going natural takes patience and learning about your particular "hair needs."

  • @bubblegumchickenswag
    @bubblegumchickenswag 11 років тому

    Thank u for posting this! I feel that this issue is so important. When I look around at me peers at school all I see are African American woman wearing weave. Not feeling comfortable in their own hair. I absolutely love my hair and I wish others would stop living by the worlds standard of beauty and love theirs to. Very powerful message.

  • @novembersbabygirl
    @novembersbabygirl 11 років тому

    I appreciate this video so much. What brought me to go natural was seeing what Preminger it did to my daughter's hair. And you're right I knew nothing about being natural growing. It was considered "Nappy Hair" and not what society acknowledged as a style of hair. I love being natural. I still wear weaves when I want a color change, but I now do protective styles. Thank you again so much for addressing this issue

  • @RCIYAH
    @RCIYAH 11 років тому +1

    OMG GURRRLLL! I agree totally! :-) I was a weave queen!! Always in a weave because YES I didn't like my hair, appreciate it nor know how to look after it and relaxer was all I knew from age 10 until the age of 24 I went natural for 7 and a half years....Came onto youtube and wanted relaxed hair again, though knowing in my heart relaxer isn't just for me, it always broke off my hair no matter what I did. It was time to make a change and go natural once and for all and love me, learn my hair and accept my hair. Jan 6th 2012 I did the big chop again and promised t never look back. Fast forward Jan 12th 2014, in my 30s, I can confidently say I now is in love with my natural hair thanks to youtube :-) I am not against weaves but I have turned around and hasn't worn a weave since summer 2012 :-) I have played and learnt a heck about my natural hair which is now STRIVING!! LIKE IT HAS NEVER DONE :) So thank you youtube for helping me love me for me. Heck I only felt *pretty * with that weave in, how small minded huh? I surprisingly now inspire others, imagine that :D Just remember beauty is from within, and my story is, I didn't like myself without a weave, but youtube opened my eyes to a whole nother level. I got educated and appreciated! ;-)

  • @sandyandy2703
    @sandyandy2703 11 років тому +1

    I love what you said. Here is to more straight talk. Because we were never given a chance to love our hair. We have to own OUR own beauty. Thanks GOD for your wisdom.

  • @miizzjuiicy10
    @miizzjuiicy10 11 років тому

    I agree with you. One day I thought about all of the naturals I had been seeing, and I realized that I had absolutely no idea what my natural texture looked like. I got my first relaxer at 6 years old, and of course being 21 years old now, I don't remember much from those days. I made the decision to stretch my relaxer so I could see what my hair really looked like. I fell in love immediately. I am now 10 months into my transition, and have no plans on turning back.

  • @grrrfran
    @grrrfran 11 років тому

    I love these vids that u put out. Every time I talk about natural hair they say. It's a phase you will get over it. It's been three years now and I'm loving it. I've learned so much about my hair with reading and watching vids on UA-cam. I will never go back to relaxed hair.

  • @sh0rtie1natural
    @sh0rtie1natural 11 років тому +1

    I agree with u...as a young girl my mom relaxed my hair I was 2. She said my hair was so thick and bushy it was hard to manage. Before she relaxed it my hair was very thick and very long ( past mid back) after she relaxed it my hair broke off and became damaged. I went natural 3 years ago bc I wanted healthy hair and wanted to experience the hair God gave me. I am so happy I did my hair is growing and healthy again. I also decided if I have a baby girl one day im not relaxing her hair im gonna show her how to care for it.

  • @jaeshasway
    @jaeshasway 11 років тому +1

    Powerful discussion points. Thank you for bringing this to the YT forum. Hair seems to be an extension of ourselves as women, we allow it at times to affect our self esteem to the point where it rules our thoughts and actions. I think we should embrace the culture of hair, be it natural, flat iron, perming, etc. Regardless, it should simply be about style, health and preference. The ego factor should be removed as we are passing this stigma on to our young girls and they will do the same unless we stop the judgement, the criticism and yes on some levels the self hate attributed to feeling like we don't have the right kind of hair be it long hair, short hair, straight hair, curly hair, weaved hair, wigged hair, etc.

  • @docdoctme
    @docdoctme 11 років тому +1

    Your ending summed it up... You felt good about your natural hair-straightened or kinky textured, and good about the weave if you chose to wear one. You are right, a person have to answer te why' honestly. I do feel that some women don't feel beautiful with their natural hair and that why they ALWAYS wear wigs/weaves. Our children get this message and not given the opportunity to get to know and love their own hair.

  • @jdverdine26
    @jdverdine26 11 років тому +1

    You are so right. I received my first relaxer at 7 and grew up thinking I had to wear my hair like that. I am 29 and have been natural for 2 years. THis journey has allowed me to love all of me, and my husband has helped tremendously. Even some black men are so caught up in societies depiction of beauty hat hey discourage instead of encourage us. Society should not be able to depict what we as women black women, are to look like ,which in turn creates self hate and self doubt. As I educate myself on my hair I teach my sister and my niece ,education is key no matter the topic . I too can't stand the terms "good hair and bad hair " when it pertains to texture, in my book god hair is healthy hair and bad hair is poorly cared for and unhealthy. It's time to promote self love and not hate so that our babies will walk with confidence no matter how their hair is done. Now I too rock the occasional clip ins , let's not forget that hair is fun and allows you to express yourself . So people educate, create, and have fun!

  • @5tamika
    @5tamika 11 років тому

    I love that you encourage our children and other young black women to not only love our hair but ourselves as well, You are the reason I went natural, and the reason I did my big chop, it took me a while to do that though Lol! first I cut the front then I did the rest like almost a month later I had to get use to it and hated the idea of losing the length, but I'm over it now and finding new middle length hair styles to try. I still can't stop touching my hair I love my curls, my mother always either pressed or put my hair in pony tails once I was older I would get it braided and learned how to do individuals but I did try chemicals once I was like 16 17 and had lots of damage, so now I just go natural I will blow dry from time to time with a heat protectant but most of the time I air dry, and I do the same for my daughter, I always tell her that her hair is full and beautiful and that she should never put chemicals on her hair to straighten it because of how badly mines was damaged. It took a long time to recover from that trama. I know I've gone on and on but I just wanted to thank you for helping me to realize that hey our hair is perfect just the way it is, I even do DIY recipes so I know exactly what's going into our hair. Thank you so much, keep those videos coming

  • @ALynn
    @ALynn 11 років тому +2

    Out of my whole life I got a relaxer once (almost 19 yrs old) but when I did get that 1 relaxer I was 12 and the relaxer didn't hold so I had no choice but to go natural and I love it. I get comments but that motivates me to wear my hair natural more (sometimes straighten) The bigger the natural community get the more people dislike. I wear protective styles and I recently bought a wig for days I don't have time to do my hair and that is also natural looking.

  • @The13couya
    @The13couya 11 років тому +1

    I agree with this video, my natural hair was long and thick, I got a relaxer when i was 10, which i found different and easy to manage, but at the same time i wanted my own hair back. I'm 18 now, and i did the big chop November 30th, 2012, I am now 1 year natural and this year will make it 2 years on November 30th, the journey is well worth it and very fun when learning and knowing what you can do with your own natural hair. I love, and embrace my natural curls and kinks, and a lot of others love it as well.!!!

  • @drhairgro
    @drhairgro 11 років тому +2

    You are absolutely right!! Filming a video response right now because it needs to be addressed in all communities affected by this. Awesome video :)

  • @Neviimsjourney
    @Neviimsjourney 11 років тому +2

    First, I am a first grade teacher and its been 10 months since my last relaxer. I had a former student tell another student(non relax) that she gets a relaxer because it makes her hair clean. The non relax student said my hair is clean. What was our topic for our morning meeting? Yes, clean hair. My thoughts on my hair: I went natural because I was becoming bald on the right side of my head. Now I don't have that problem- my hair has grown back. I think its very important to teach our babies that they are beautiful wonderfully made. Be blessed!!!

  • @GlitzGlamkre8
    @GlitzGlamkre8 11 років тому +3

    EXCELLENT video!! i have felt the same way. I also had my first perm at age 6 so I never knew my real hair texture. But I LOVE being natural now, yes it is more time consuming, but like you said I am use to relaxed hair. I am fully natural now I went natural in 2009. I was really surprised at my hair texture and noticed it was not as NAPPY as I had been told it was. Great video :) Also I think UA-cam is a great platform for us to all learn together and grow in knowledge about our hair something our mom's,aunts, and grandma's (who were relaxing our hair) did not have. Our hair is the sooo versatile and we didn't even know it until the more recent years better late than never I guess lol I love being natural!

  • @lavadava69
    @lavadava69 11 років тому

    I got my first relaxer at seven and was always told my hair was "hard' or "bad" or "rough". When I saw the beautiful women on the afro sheen commercial, I DID ask my mother if I could wear may hair that way. I recieved a long sermon on how I should present myself as educated and classy and not ignorant which is what an afro is. I cried but it put the thought in my mind that if I was to be a responsible adult, I had to have a perm. I never hated my hair. When I became an adult, I wore braids and unconsciously transitioned for years but didnt know how to style it so it stayed in extension braids for years.

  • @NotesByNez
    @NotesByNez 11 років тому

    It's true. I got my first relaxer between the ages of 8 and 10, and I don't remember having a choice. Thinking back, I couldn't remember anything other than my relaxed hair. I didn't even know how to care for my natural hair... or if I would even want to. I couldn't see myself ever going natural. Now almost 20 years after that first relaxer, I'm super excited to say that I am natural. I even started my own channel (NotesByNez) to try to offer tips and encourage others to love the hair they were born with. The major change for me came when I didn't want to continue to spend money to support a habit that included putting chemicals into my scalp every 3 months. It helped tremendously that there seems to be a much higher level of acceptance for natural hair, although there is still a longer way to go. Great video! :)

  • @adashaelacapers2887
    @adashaelacapers2887 11 років тому

    I transitioned for a year I did my chop about 2 months ago and I began to get frustrated with it! I've been relaxed since I was 11 it was my choice because all of my friends had straight hair. Long story short...you inspired me to give my 4a-4b hair a chance to flourish! I want to thank you so much for this video and applaud you for talking with us and not lecturing us

  • @BayAreaStyleFile
    @BayAreaStyleFile 11 років тому +3

    It really starts with the ladies who are naturals wearing their hair proud and answering any questions people have. We also can encourage without be condescending or negative. Unfortunately we alone can't break the cycle. Little black girls look up to their moms and of their moms hair isn't natural it will be harder for her to come to terms with her hair. It can happen but it will be a slow process. Parents do many things that have permanent impact on their children hair is just a part of the bigger issue (obesity etc).

  • @ashanakells6019
    @ashanakells6019 11 років тому

    I agree with everything you said.....my mom refused to relax my hair at a young age and I begged her to relax my hair at 13!! But I have stopped relaxing for about a year now and I love and feel the difference! Our issues are deeper than "our" hair, and I hope we can all realize what they are and learn to LOVE OURSELVES!!! Thank you so much for sharing this video! Xoxoxo

  • @atkinsgina
    @atkinsgina 11 років тому +2

    I got my 1st relaxer at age 10 much to the dismay of my family. I unfortunately thought I needed to have straight hair to be beautiful because being "different" in a sea of straight haired "sameness" was too hard for me. Huge mistake! 15 years later I'm FINALLY going back to my natural hair and learning to love it for the 1st time. Sad, I know. But I'm excited to get back to me. 2 more months to the BC! Thanks for being an inspiration India!

  • @783ajay
    @783ajay 11 років тому +1

    Great discussion! I truly hated my hair for most of my life until I "went natural". Didn't know that I had that option until about 3 years ago. I love what you're saying about what we teach our children. I work with children too and I always get mixed expressions from them when I rock my afro. I hope all women see videos like this amd learn to everyone for who they truly are....even if they dont like it. :-)

  • @alicase6325
    @alicase6325 10 років тому

    Love this!! I have this discussion with my friends all the time. Most of us are in transition and some went natural some years ago. I am enjoying learning about caring for my natural hair. I am glad that the awareness is out their and we are educating each other. We need to support each other and learn from each other!!!

  • @thediamond3889
    @thediamond3889 11 років тому +1

    I totally agree with you. I had relaxer seen the age of 5, it was terrible it burned my scap. Now I'm in my 20s I have a mentality that the only way to look beautiful is to relax my hair and put weave on. I've been wearing weave since the age of 16 and since then I've never turn back. or ever let anyone to see me without a weave. I'm not going natural, I've cut off the relaxer hair and looking forward to see the beauty of my natural hair. I feel more confident and happy, I've only had my natural hair out for a week but before I couldn't even leave it for 2 days and I never wanted to be seen with my natural hair. I'm now going work and uni wearing my own real hair, I actually feel more comfortable and happy.