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The last D&D character you played as is hunting you. What do you do?
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- Опубліковано 15 сер 2024
- The last D&D character you played as is hunting you. What do you do?
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The last D&D character you played as is hunting you. What do you do?
What are you supposed to do besides die? Because unless you're not telling us something, we all have Commoner stats. What are we supposed to do against anything higher than level 2?
Easy! Offer him a skull, a beer, a kobold, and get ready to party!
@@redman7775 gun?
Mine has refused to do damage from levels 4 through 8 due to his moral code not allowing him to harm most creatures (exceptions include mindless or evil undead, and hostile fiends), so the life-domain cleric kobold would likely just be hunting me down to give me a stern lecture.
Nothing, he has a habit of getting chronically lost unless it's to find a tavern, and since I don't drink I think I'm good! I'm super happy that I tend to think about the penalties my character will take before I think about their positives, and making a character who literally can't ever find anything (as in purposefully rolls disadvantage on all perception, survival, persuasion, and investigation checks) would be an absolute dream in a situation where my last character has to find me.
That being said, if he got help finding me, there's no chance of me beating a lvl 20 Polearm Master Battlemaster that was turned pseudo-undead giving him the ability to turn to mist and fly with a 300 ft move speed PLUS a literal 'teleports behind you' attack (my DM hates that I named it 'Nothing Personal Kid'). No my only hope of survival is offer him good alcohol or a great adventure. He's also chaotic good, so I could try appealing to his better nature so long as I wasn't on the actual path of evil. But uh... no. No fighting. Just dead.
HA! I’d be hunted by my oath of the ancients paladin Christoph Greenthorne, a good old farmer boy turn holy crusader that worships the goddess of agriculture. The worst I’d have to deal with him is his talkative nature
Be careful he might bore you to death
That one villain from captain underpants
Galath Hadron is a 6’8 human barbarian with a 300lb stone slab of a sword that uses lightning magic, and raided with a tribe of orcs for 20 years. He hurled a great axe at a dracolich that was 120ft. in the sky, hit it in the neck and made it fall onto a lava-covered floor. He decapitated a storm giant with one swing, and castrated an ogre with a power slide.
Die. I’d fkn die.
nice
And with that power slide,.you wouldn't die hard 😂
an 11th level necromancer that commands, at minimum, 18 orc skeletons.
Uh oh.
Rattle’em Boys!!
@@magoichi75*sans undertale music kicks in*
A level 11 undead half elf artificer alchnemist level 5, grave domain cleric level 6. Who protects stolen primordial texts of a world ending plague. ( their plague god wants the texts back too, but cannot take away their clerical abilities)
i would wake up, go eat breakfast, and immedatly die because his pet mimic put whyvern poison into my milk. Or some other arcane crafted disease, most likely not a fast one as he likes experimenting. Not saying he's evil, I could offer some knowledge and intregue him.
I've played dungeons and dragons once as an orc, things didn't go too well for me😢. Tho I do have some characters I once thought up so Idk if those count either
I’d be dead. Level 20 character, finished his character arcs so he doesn’t really have much in the way of psychological weaknesses, and he’s the strongest character I’ve ever made. I’m talking 1v1 Tiamat while remaining above half health, being ready to do it again after a short rest. There’s a reason I named him “Chad the God Killer”
What build to 1v2 tiamet?
I don’t remember the details, but I used Paladin, Bard, and barbarian. I also had a bunch of magic items that I used to increase my AC and CHR.
The basic idea was to make my defenses so strong that I wouldn’t take much of any damage. My lowest save bonus was in the teens or twenties ish, any my AC was above 40. I don’t think I used armor, and I had an Epic Boon as well as an additional feat (due to our table’s homebrew rules that I’m pretty sure we had at the time).
It’s been a while since I used Chad.
With homebrew magic items?
Lv 20 characters are gods born as mortals
If Tiamat somehow couldn't land a physical attack she'd just dragons breath you every turn and stay out of your melee reach. You'd die no matter how good your resistances are or how high your saves are, because at best you're still taking half damage from breath attacks that do between 67 and 90+ damage per breath attack.
Now if you were talking about the Tarrasque, that would be easily doable even from a much lower level.
A war forged artificer, cue the Terminator music. I'm dead
Dw im a similar level of fucked lol
My brother is in the same situation. One model is basically a Jedi, lightsaber included. The is a actual avatar of death.
R.I.P. both of you.
I'm playing a warforged necromancer wizard. So far loving the race.
Warforged paladin, Oath of Conquest. 20 AC at 3rd level...
I might survive if i surrender to him though, because he is hardcoded with the rules of engagement.
I hear you... Oh boy do I hear you....
Warforged Battlemaster-Fighter-8/Zealot-Barbarian-4/Artillerist-Artificer-3/War-Wizard-2 with Shield Master feat and a sentient artifact-level adamantine-greatsword he hand his creators collaborated in creating....
The one and only hope for survival is that he is not governed by emotions (although he very much experiences them). So if I can come up with a logical reason why killing me is a bad idea, then all is well. if not, well... at least he's only going to need one hit...
Get insurance. While Rita is a strong, super-fast literal bunny rabbit of a girl (Mutants and Masterminds, backstory is ‘bunch of scientists tried creating a slave army of human/animal hybrids, but played her in DnD as well, Shifter Monk), she’s also a sweetheart who won’t kill anyone who isn’t a machine or demon.
Best case scenario, she’ll ask me to give up. Worst case, I get a few broken bones.
yeah can't imagine the last character I played wanting to hurt someone who hasn't hurt her or someone she cares about.
A halfling rogue who crawled through a ceiling and walked right into a trap, activating a swinging axe. I WAS TOO SHORT FOR IT TO CUT OFF MY HEAD
LMFAO
That's amazing
KEKW THAT IS AMAZING
LMAO had a similar experience recently. We were playing a Waterdeep campaign, and ended up going throught the sewers. The DM said that we were going through a passage with about a foot of sewage. My character was 1 foot 5.
yeah another party member ended up carrying my sewage drenched hobo of a tabaxi after we realized that
My lore bard tells me my internet search history and I die.
LMFAO
Lol
Wait, is he casting it as Vicious Mockery?
@@ALJ9000 I think there's no need.
@@ALJ9000 if you shout based after every search result you avoid damage, heard it from a friend
Being hunted by an incredibly lucky, generally undying monk paladin multiclass?
I accept my fate.
not quite undying, but insanely durable as well: Warforged Battlemaster-Fighter-8/Zealot-Barbarian-4/Artillerist-Artificer-3/War-Wizard-2 with Shield Master feat and a sentient artifact-level adamantine-greatsword he and his creators collaborated in creating....
And yes, he also wears adamantine armor. So bringing him down isn't exactly easy. He was built to survive attrition-warfare, and it shows. Out of the 500 of his kin that went to war, by this point only around 20 are left... ...and he's one of them. And perhaps the most formidable of them.
i ask him to give me a 5 minute head start. since he has 0 sense of time, it should give me a few years to prepare
Or 5 seconds
My current Pathfinder character is Darius - an elf with draconic ancestry, neat magic spells, great intimidation, and absolutely no physical coordination. In his first session, he took twenty minutes to scale a short cliff face, killed two snakes nesting in a log, then nearly died falling off said log three separate times.
To protect myself from being hunted by this clumsy beauty, I lay a downed tree in front of the door and go to bed without a care in the world.
Brillant, I love him.
There is nothing I could do. He is silent, can be anywhere any time, and can be anything. Kenku Warlock hex blade with Bard College of Swords. Leveled to 28. He took control over the first level of Hell. He commands the army's of Hell. He can cast Disguise Self at will. He had a +25 to slight of hand checks. It was a very broken build. So much fun. But very broken.
Me, playing as an ace fighter pilot in a sci fi campaign with access to a dozen nuclear missiles:
*Hahahaha... I'M IN DANGER*
Half a dozen nukes? Comrade I believe WE are in danger
Pixy is that you?
@@samueljo7910 funny you mention that, I use that exact same character as a Project Wingman OC
Nah man, he being hunted down by Crimson 1
@@Naofumi-Iwatani FUNNY YOU MENTION THAT, he is also a Magadanian PK
I guess a heavily religious bird is going to be screaming encourgements at me??
(Owlin Cleric, he was, so, so, ecstatic all the time. And loud.)
Edit: I should also mention he had a really bad habit of accidentally assisting the enemy.
Sounds similar to my kobold, a life-domain cleric who, from levels 4 through 8, did not deal even a single point of damage. His moral code heavily restricts what he will cause harm to (mostly mindless/evil undead and fiends.).
Yeah... My room's being fireballed in 7 seconds.
I'd give him a hug and tell him "you're doing your best", he needs that a lot
Level 11 Chaotic Neutral Death Cleric Halfling with PTSD.
...If I'm lucky, I'll die. If I'm really lucky, I'll die quick.
Oof... not fun.
I'd probably go and buy some cheese and buy a whole pig carcass, then hide
He was a pretty chill Astral Self monk who was slowly transforming into a Wendigo, and he had quite the soft spot for cheese
Hunted by a dragonborn ranger that was raised by dwarfs and praises Moradin....yeah im fucked
My rock gnome artificer kinda became the party diplomat/therapist. He had a decanter of endless water and a homebrew item called the gooey gooey chocolate chip cookie ring. He would make me cry, but probably also better. His name is Rothan Whitestone.
That is so sweet, my heart-
Im being hunted by Vol'Ak a Githyanki who lost their whole squad of fellow gith to a mindflayer on the material plain. This was their first time on the material, so they were a fish out of water and stuck. They became a mercenary, and during one job, they accidentally killed the person they were hired to save. They and their group brutally dealt with the kidnappers to the point the hostage fought us in fear, and we only only knew they were the hostage after death. The hostage was a wizard planning their escape and didn't want to kill the captors, so they were taking their time. Until we came along. We rolled so many nat 20s we turned all those kidnappers to mush. Well, after that day of murder and trauma, Vol'Ak became a Redemption Paladin who desperately just wants to help those in need or who have strayed from the path of good. They arent wise, they find most people to be good, they love their parties buddy who is a lich of thay but my character doesnt know what that means and never has thought to distrust the "kind" wizard. They only dont trust you when you give a really good reason. And our party now babtsits them and sometimes points them towards a thing and says " Its evil go get it" and then Vol"Ak will go and ask "Hey are you evil?" And depending on the response, they either have a new friend or foe. They've made so many evil friends that they're confident are good or are on the path towards good. But if you are evil... they will pull out a hexblade and show you the wrath of love and kindness. They found a cursed sword, and i decided to go 1 level in hecblade and become buddies with my cursed sword. Make it do some good.
So I think I'd just have a new friend
Not to be dramatic but I would do anything for Vol'Ak. I love him, he's so sweet and I can totally see him accidentally turning people towards good just because he believes in them so much.
My character is this but in the different direction: a highly intelligent though a little sheltered canus (doggo) artificer/bard who would, quite literally, do anything for his friends. Good isn't the moral good - good is what his friends decide is good. He tries his best to also stay on the morally good part, mostly so his friends don't go down a path he knows they would regret, but hey if this dude made our casters life hell it's only fair he gets to learn just how long it takes for a person to die.
My last character I played would depend on how close to the prompt we stick.
The last thing I ran was an NPC old master of a knight’s order well into his 60’s who missed _7 out of 8 attacks_ last combat.
He’s not _particularly_ chivalrous but he isn’t a murderer either. Probably just stay in my car and keep moving around 10 mph until the old man’s heart gave out or he changed his mind.
The last _PC_ I played was Jenta Tyvrane, an utterly ruthless Drow thief rogue whose unarmed attacks are about as dangerous as a short sword’s (level 3, with Martial Artist dedication).
I can’t outrun her (40 foot move speed).
I can’t out maneuver her (+4 Dex and good related skills).
My only hopes are either to get a gun and wait somewhere with a single entrance, convince her killing me does nothing to advance her master’s goals or protect the world as a whole, or _maybe_ overpower her as she has +0 strength in pathfinder (that’s a fairly big deal). Of course, she’s trained to take on larger, _trained_ opponents, so that last one is just a “YOLO” move.
And finally, my last _D&D 5e_ character is Anton Pierrovich, an old Rune Knight, ex-soldier who was flung through time to the campaign’s present time (level 4 Rune Knight).
Oddly enough, he’s the most likely to react calmly to suddenly being in the real world, as the leap to 2,000 years before the campaign to present campaign is probably just as shocking as going from the campaign to the real world.
I could explain that I don’t _know_ where his son ended up being flung, but I _do_ know he’s alive somewhere, and that every second he spends in my world is a second not spent in his looking for Nimir.
Again I could maybe hop on a highway and flee, but unlike the NPC he’s tough, strong, and determined, so that would take a long time.
He also uses a glaive and is like 6’4”, so maybe again holding a gun in a narrow, confined space would help.
I’m being hunted by the half astral elf half human gravity wizard Terrum, a young wize cracking, college graduate with a PHD in women’s studies, and an occasionally murderous strategist. He would find me with some divination spell, roll a 30 stealth somehow, and stalk me for 2 hours while deliberating about a plan, only to completely go off plan. He would knock me out and I would wake up in a bad of holding while he deliberated for another 2 hours about what to interrogate me on. Only for me to not have any information, and be thrown back into the bad to be forgotten and die of suffocation.
The PhD in Women's Studies is _terrifying_
They could just SJW-talk me to death 😂
If we are doing campaign AND oneshot characters, my hunter would be an old mechanic with a love for the craft and assorted teas. There would be no need to fight. He is a peaceful man.
If oneshots dont count however...
Anchor306 is a warforged eldritch knight specialising in crossbows and all things ranged (sharpshooter feat). Reflavoured as a robot crafted by dwarves, designed for atmosphereless-zero g environments. Anchor wields a coil rifle that fires tungston rods for said exploration.
Anchor was my first time powergaming a character (not without rp or personality ofc). My best and only hope would be to short circuit his memory banks as part of his character is that he was offline in the bottom of an ocean for soooooo long that his memory storage just rusted away. It would have to be triggered from intense questioning.... If I even had the time to do that.
My wood-elf werewolf barbarian, Fennis, is now hunting me. The good news is he was also formerly a monk, so he’d likely be willing to negotiate or talk through things rather than solve conflict with violence (his stat rolls were stupid good so I figured I’d put some stats into dex and wis and have his backstory be he was a monk before he got bitten and was exiled from his order).
Ah the mere thought of having to fight a death cleric who can out heal anything I try to hurt them with it terrifying
The last character I made is for a modern-day setting and she is a red Dragonborn tinkerer whose job is to be a courier that drives a sports bike. Highly skilled and maneuverability and an escape artist when being pursued by people. Which in turn means that she is able to hunt down the person she is tasked to do so; in other words I am boned.
And it's lucky I'm in covering her and not her ancestor matchstick, who would plot My Demise by either blowing up my apartment complex or using me as an experiment if I pissed her off enough
I’m a paladin fighter Dragonborn, in a set of heavy armor. Just run a lot
Man, I’m glad it’s not accurate to real life, the real ones are faster than soldiers, and can do basically anything that they can do WITHOUT armour, besides maybe sink or take it off within the hour.
I'm not worried at all, I'd be hunted by my Redemption Paladin. He won't kill me, he's the most morally upstanding character I have ever played lol. If it was any of the previous 3 characters I'd played before the Paladin I'd be dead lol
Im chillin. My last character was a war-forged bard that was made out of wood and was given the power of the wind to aid in their ability to play music. My new character that I’m currently playing as, is an extremely home-brewed insanely powerful Half-Orc barbarian with an overwhelming constitution modifier of +56, and that’s not even his highest modifier bonus. New guy wins.
I'm getting hunted by a shape-shifting artificer that can read minds, I'm probably dead
Garrett, a halfling druid, mounted on a fasteith (a really fast dino from Eberon) named "stich."
I'm out ranged and out run. But the impending chase is making it on the internet
I'm being hunted by a pixie that can cast fireballs and reanimate corpses as zombies. So I am certainly doomed.
Mushu, the level 20 rogue/assassin half-elf, neutral evil. He’s covered head-toe in tattoos of weapons that when touched, produce said weapon from the ether (magically stowed weapons, if you will). He formed one of the largest assassins guild and one of the few that actually employs Naztharune assassins.
He was my character from our first and longest running 3.5 campaign.
I wouldn’t worry about him hunting me. There’s clearly nothing I can do about it and might as well enjoy whatever time I have left.
I'm lucky that in the last session I played, I introduced my new character of the campaign: An autognome battlesmith artificer who has a big humanoid robot for his steel defender. Frank (the Steel Defender) would probably be a pain to deal with, but Ketloy (the actual artificer) has a pistol. It was either them or a woman with a magical halberd of mercury who has managed to kill at least 10 royal soldiers and the most powerful sorcerer she has heard of (the King) all on her own. Not to mention the fact that if she knows that I was the one who created her backstory, then that would give her a strong explanation for why she'd be hunting me down.
Last thing I played was a Thrii-kreen Graviturgy Wizard named Roach Limit.
With fire bolt and Phantom Steed, fighting them would be extremely challenging.
Did you make this character exclusively for the pun, or was that just a nice bonus? Either way…. Good one
What do I do? Offer him a skull, a beer, a kobold, and get ready to party!
What, does he fuck kobolds or something?
We don’t HAVE kobolds
@@Aaa-vp6ug Well then, I don't know what else to say except enjoy your life before a barbarian comes a crashing through your door⚔
@@CrazyHawkeComics this is YOUR hou-
*(Stabbed by door)*
Why did I play a mimic-
As the DM, the last character I voiced was “SLAMBO” the Glabrizu.
I’m just gonna off myself instead of waiting for a brick shit house to cause as much chaos as possible on his way to murder me as violently as possible.
I'd invest in fire extinguishers. V is a draconic bloodline sorcerer with a almost solely fire based spell list and a pretty good incineration track record.
Good thing that he is the last character I played though, and not the 20 AC war machine that is my beloved Warforged paladin "Brick", who I played for a little one shot. My only shot for surviving against him would be to surrender because he was hardcoded to follow the rules of engagement.
As a forever dm, im dead!
I am being hunted by basically Moonknight. Gladin/Vormak = Stephen/Marc. In the campaign they're from, there is a form of fast-travel: basically each major population center has a large Soul Crystal, and every indivivdual has a Soul Stone. When the person wants to fast travel, they activate their Soul Stone, which connects to a Soul Crystal, and transforms their matter into soul energy which travels through the Soul Plane and then is reconstituted at the destination. Some terrorists were screwing with a Soul Crystal just as Galdin and Vormak were coming out of it, causing it to explode. Vormak's body was reconstitued and his soul put into it, but the crystal glitched with Gladin and thought that Vormak's body was his, so both their souls were fused and put into the same body, altering Gladin's memories to match Vormak's. They both died due to the explosion, which is when the moon god made a pact with Vormak to bring him back as a warlock in return for Vormak to serve him. When Gladin woke up, "his" body had magic moon powers so he became a paladin under the moon god. Neither knows of the other's existense. I would be hunted by Moonknight
I only have a few sessions in, but I’m currently in a campaign with Rime of the Frost Maiden, playing Wabooz DerHass, a Battle Master Fighter. He’s a harengon and has the Gladiator background. His story starts in Waterdeep, as he was a “Professional” wrestler with the Waterdeep Wrestling Foundation. The underground fighting groups broke up his wrestling group, so he made his way to 10 Towns looking for his wrestling friends. His introduction to the party (I joined later in the campaign) almost lead to a TPK as we saving a townsfolk from a sacrifice, but that’s another story.
A 6'8 Tabaxi vampire artificer rogue who has a 60ft fly speed, and has a +10 to stealth.
What I do is try to convince him I'm not a threat, but depending on what he's been told, I'm just dead.
Kobold Battlesmith Artificer with a penchant for using monster parts to make things.
Welp, im dead! XD
I've only played DND once, and that wasn't with my own character. However, I do have a character already in mind. He's a Dragonborn Artificer who took the Alchemist route. My idea is he's a Green Dragonborn, giving him a poison breath weapon and poison resistance. He uses it to create his potions and forage for ingredients respectively.
I have to deal with a lizard man who can make bombs.
A frog. He’s an expert at finding things (such as humans) and snap open my rib cage with ease
Torrin Sulgrax, the Brass Dragonborn Swashbuckler and my first character. Captured to be sold as a slave by pirates when he was younger, Torrin joined the other prisoners in leading a mutiny to take control of the ship. He became the first mate, having helped the mutiny’s leader plan everything, but after sailing together with everyone for a time he decided to return to land and sold his services as a bodyguard or escort.
In my first (and so far only) campaign he was kind of the straightman for our party, able to keep his calm when dealing with townsfolk suspicious of our more magical party members since we were there to deal with a curse. He would often use his items to check for traps and help in combat, like dipping his fishing rod in a strange pond in the forest to see if anything was in there, or using a rope to find the path along a floor where there was an illusion to disguise a massive hole in a room, and dousing a boss in oil to light it on fire with his fire breath.
This was a low level campaign where two of my friends were helping me and two others learn how to play. Two characters actually died due to really unlucky rolls but since we were new our DM decided to bring them back to life since one was our only PC veteran (the other was only DMing) and having one of the newbies die would have sucked. Though their revivals were at least explained.
Cool thing is that each of our characters got to be the one to end an encounter throughout the campaign, just by chance, with Torrin getting the kill on the final boss (a mechanical bird) by shooting an arrow that pierced both its wings and grounded it.
Given he was pretty reasonable I think I would have a decent enough chance of talking things out with him… but there’s no chance I would survive if he actually wanted me dead xD
I’d sit down and pray that tzeench would find it funny to deny him of a kill.
Either that or I’d sit down huddled in a corner attempting to look as pathetic as possible as his code prevents him from claiming skulls he feels would be unworthy for Khorne to sit upon(also know as “he doesn’t kill the weak… usually”) the only exception would be if it was a directive straight from Khorne that a specific individual must die or if the weakling was somehow preventing him from arriving at a proper battle
He is a level 20 warforged oath of conquest paladin who worships the blood god Khorne named Baerakus who duel wields lances while riding a huge sized bear, both covered in adamantine full plate. (The bear is an artificer/druid/paladin played by a friend of mine.)
1. He Is himself a large creature(magic item)
2. His mere presence exudes such terror on anyone around him that their minds literally rend themselves apart.
3. His AC is at an almost permanent 32 with adamantine armor which means I quite literally can’t hurt him in any way as his armor has exactly zero weak spots and I am certainly no tarrasque
4. He does not need to eat, drink, or sleep so if he is hunting me down in particular then he has exactly zero reason to stop.
5. He is effectively immortal as a warforged so I’m not outliving him.
6. He has a back up great sword just in case someone gets too close so I wouldn’t be inconveniencing him all that much by closing the distance.
7. His aura while you are frightened by it also prevents you from moving so I’m not going to be able to flee.
8 he has a 14 in wisdom with expertise in perception so I’m not hiding from him(feat: skill expert)
My kobold wizard wouldn't hesitate to dance on my grave
oh. Last character I played was yesterday. Zephyr Whirlwind, a neutral/good storm sorcerer genasi. She's just a wholesome, innocent young sorceress who can't help but try to protect anyone who can't defend themselves. If she's hunting me, she was tricked into thinking I'm a fiend, mindless undead or some other sort of monster, so all I have to do is tell her "no, no, you're mistaken, I'm a humanoid commoner, you can check if you want to", wait for her to determine I'm harmless, then become friends with her and ask her to teach me magic!
Have a Chat with him. While he is utterly terrifying he doesn't kill without being forced to.
He also is a stealthy, wise tracker with 24 strength thats 256cm tall and is much faster than me.
So I write notes, wait at a well lit up place and sing while making music.
I never thought I'd be chased down by a chicken wielding a longsword until now
I’m currently playing Worlds Without Number (another ttrpg like DnD with a few differences) so if something I describe shouldn’t normally be possible, that’s why.
Meet Andrew Rothstein. His grandfather, Arnold Rothstein, came from a world very much like modern-day earth. Since there’s no magic on his world, he’s immune to magic, an ability which Andrew has a diluted version of (not that it matters in a fight against me). The Rothsteins own a pizza company that is a front for the “mafia” and have total control of an entire city. So Andrew has all of those resources to use against me.
As for his combat prowess, he fights with his bare fists (which are more powerful than some swords) and has faced skilled guards, owlbears, lizard men, and geese.
A few of his greatest feats:
Strength: Collapsing a woman’s skull with one punch, carries an entire barrel of wine at all times, pulled his entire body weight onto a balcony with one hand and held a goose in the other
Durability: Was repeatedly deafened by a giant bell, was briefly lit on fire, withstood extremely cold air
Speed: Can move 40 feet in one combat round, dodged an attack from a giant
So how well I would do comes down to one thing. Do I know that he’s hunting me? Because in a physical confrontation he would destroy me, but it’s a part of his backstory that he has a terrible sense of direction, so if I can get a headstart, he’d probably never find me
Absolutely nothing can stop me from dying to a lightning bolt now
Considering that my character is basically a 9hp pseudodragon with all the best charm/control spells from 1st and 2nd level, inflict wounds, invisibility, and no chill and 18 CHA alongside a human with almost 40HP, and 18 STR who just follows along blindly and prioritizes the pseudodragon's safety above all else when not recieving orders, I'd have 2 options- 1shot the pseudodragon, and attack the human while he's standing there recalibrating, or distract them with fancy knives before running for the hills.
Oh I’d be absolutely screwed. Level 18 divination wizard. I’d be found by scrying then either be warped to another dimension, disintegrated or sucked into a black hole. And I’d have no chance of living cause of good ol’ portent. At least she’s somewhat kind, but she does get the job done.
The character before that was a lvl 20 zealot barbarian who used a sword the size of a five story building so honestly I’d be red paste if any of the last like five characters of mine jumped me.
I'm being hunted by Sharpie Twostide, who is a ranger wood elf, a very sharp shooter, and...a bounty hunter.
He's not really a mean person, but unless it's a well paying bounty or a reasonable bounty, he'll never stop hunting his target.
He's very quick on his feet and not only does he never miss a shot with his arrows, he also never misses a cut with his daggers either. His arrows also have enchantments and special gadgets that make his shots more unique such as explosives and other things.
A civil conversation with him would be an easy way for him not to kill me, but he would still take me to whoever hired him alive and in one piece, so that's a plus at least.
So two small caveats: I have two characters that are meant to be played together and I never actually got to play them despite repeatedly trying to find a group to play with for over 10 years. The last time I played was in the final year of High School and I'd taken over someone else's character who left the group. Serenity and Valtiel are both characters I created and wanted to play and hopefully someday will.
Serenity is a Tiefling Cleric who was abandoned at a convent as an infant and was raised to become the disciple of a God (or Goddess depending on the setting) of Life. She later receives a vision from that God to leave the convent and find a holy artifact. She is very sheltered, kindhearted and naive. If it was just her hunting me down I doubt it would be to do me harm and instead to either look for clues about the artifact or give me a hug. Her partner on the other hand might actually be a problem.
Valtiel is an Aasimar Ranger. He rejected his divine calling when he reached adulthood and decided to become a hermit in the woods. During his time there he befriended a white wolf, naming her Astraea. A few years after he began to receive visions of Serenity who was essentially being given the same task he had rejected. When she eventually crossed paths with him lost in the woods after a bandit attack, he felt compelled to join her quest out of both a sense of guilt for being partially to blame for her being forced to undertake a dangerous quest in his stead and partially out of respect for her genuine kindness and compassion towards others. He tends to be rather aloof and awkward, though not in a hostile way. He's just very socially awkward which is fair considering he's only had trees and a wolf for company.
If he was looking for me he'd probably be to put an arrow in my head or have Astraea tear me apart. Together with Serenity though, I feel like as long as I keep myself in check and am not too socially awkward myself he would just let Serenity do the talking and then leave with her after whatever she came here for was over with.
Not the best, but not the worst.
Considering I haven't been able to play any other character than my first one due to the group splitting, I probably have the easiest time.
Its a three step process:
A. Cheese.
B. Tell him who killed the wolf he wanted to tame, so he can fill out that revenge later.
C. Give him the exact details of his backstory, and write it down so he won't forget it if something were to happen.
I have now given him no purpose for anything, and I have made a new friend I have to find a new purpose for, which might be a worse issue, but hay, mission success.
His motivations were to him excuses to do things, Knew a brief rundown of his backstory oh why not try and travel and figure out the details, he went on a revenge quest for the the death of the wolf he wanted to tame a wolf and wanted to kill whoever did it, their family, and their enemies. So his greatest weakness his is long term goals.
The real question is: what do I do with him now? I can't really tell to go back where he came from because, well, where's "where he came from"?
This is worse than seducing a dragon, now I got a unmotivated/depressed Tabbaxi who keeps accidentally casting spells while still not believing in magic and realizing the weird things happening are directly from him, making amuck just by being in my living room and lying there. What AM I supposed to do?
Zeke Gnat is a plague doctor that was merged with a stirge (for those who don't know - it looks like a bat-mosquito hybrid) because of a magical mishap of an old teleportation circle (so he's a reflavored dhampir). El Mosco, Queen of stirges, grants him magical powers in exchange for blood (So he's a Warlock with First Vampire patron). Also, this contact allowed him to learn how to utilize powers of stirge that was merged with him (pact of the host) - in this form he forgoes his spellcasting potential and turns into a quick (270 ft per round when dashing = 48 km/h) flying monstrosity, draining liters of blood per second through his proboscis.
I'm gonna be exsanguinated instantly.
My last D&D character was Johnathan S. Duct Tape, an artificer who used duct tape for like 90% of his abilities. This MF also had “Gun Chucks”, a pair of guns that he attached to opposite ends of a chain.
He also had: Bagpipes, A 7/11 sign, 2 Coffee machines, a tiger named “Got Cheeto”, and LSD that he got from Loki.
I’m most likely screwed.
I’m being hunted by Silva Hooterson, the Owlin artificer/explorer of realms. Her boundless curiosity has driven her to explore not just her own realm, but all other reals as well. She scavenges the realms she visits to build more inventions including weapons, toys, and upgrades for her ship.
I’d probably just give her something she’d find useful or interesting from our realm, like a cell phone, kitchen appliance, or literally anything shiny. She’ll probably leave me alone afterwards
I would be chilling at my house before he divine smited me into next week
I would very likely be dead.
Some basic background info: I played as Kazimir Solimaud, or as he was known during the campaign, Kazimir von Zephlin. He was once human, but due to the magic of a dark god of betrayal, he was transformed into a Dhampir. He spent 200+ years searching for his girlfriend, who was taken by said god of betrayal. Over the course of the campaign, he became a lvl 15 Rogue with a 5 level multiclass into Wizard. He obtained many magic items. Including a Cloak of Elvenkind, Winged Boots, and a Luck Blade Rapier. Thankfully, he has no more wishes on the sword, so he couldn't use those against me. Using the cloak, he would blend into surroundings, and strike. Even if he couldn't use stealth, he had Find Familiar, which he used to summon an owl familiar named Freijda. So he was never far away from having advantage, thus getting sneak attack. He participated in a war, killed many men (including a King) and fought to save his girlfriend from the god of betrayals curse. He very much earned his happy ending, getting married and having his two kids. If for whatever reason he saw fit to hunt me down, I would not stand a chance. In all likelihood, I wouldn't even see it coming.
The last(current) DnD character I played is a lvl 13 Thri-kreen gloomstalker ranger/assassin rogue/champion fighter multi class.
He has +18 initiative with advantage, 34 passive perception, +14 perception and +15 stealth, both with advantage. He has the alert, observant, and sharpshooter feats. He also uses a shield and a hand crossbow in his secondary arms.
On round one of combat, if he attacks before the enemy, he either kills the enemy or blows through half its health. My record thus far is well over 200 damage on round one. Two normal attacks, an extra attack from gloomstalker, bonus action attack with the hand crossbow, then action surge and do the three attacks from my action all over again.
TL:DR If this guy is hunting me, I'm dead before I even know he's coming for me.
The last character I played is Kamille Kruchevsky, 6th Level Human Fighter, Psi Warrior to be exact. A Noblewoman of a merchant town that's about was Discworld-y as you can get without actually being a Discworld. Lucky for me, she's a woman who prefers to conversation and understanding instead of violent, saving her sword for foes that will only respond with murder and violence or just straight-up evil. About as goodie-good as you can get. Her family is the embodiment of dad jokes, use their riches and political power for both country and their people.
As long as I don't act like an irredeemable jackass and discuss just what the hell it is that I did to deserve her wrath, what I can do to right my wrongs, etc, I'll be A-OK.
My last character was a psychopathic murderer who would probably still kill me even though he’s level four at the moment. If we were to fast forward a few more sessions I would be mega screwed because the DM has let us know that we can take it to godhood if we wanted.
My last character is a level 20 red dragonborn ascendent dragon monk/pyromancy sorcerer that has a propensity for betrayal and fighting. When he betrayed the party, he soloed the fighter and knocked her unconscious while fending off both the bard and sorcerer. It was one of the most epic boss fights that the party endured and nearly killed them. If the description hasn't given it away, I'm being hunted by Magma Dragoon. He downed the level 20 fighter on his own; I'm just a pile of ashes that hasn't realized it yet...
I play a Mimic(The characters don't know but the players and DM know) in Full Armor named Steel Ichornose who talks with paper and pencil and I'm just going to say I'm dead
I'd be being hunted by Bear Hugh, a Path of the Giant Barbarian, played as something of a brawler. I would embrace and hug him and accept my fate at the hands of his Cafuné that he would use to ease people even though he had terrible charisma to perform such Cafuné x'D
Forgot to say he's a Bugbear and werebear
Level 1 Halfling rogue with staggering advantage on dex and stealth, very good at archery with a short bow (witch they have) and a shield
Back myself into a corner and never sleep. Stealth modifier of +14
I played a simic hybrid beast barbarian. I changed his flavor to having used to being an elf, but was caught up in a fucked up experiment where he was given all sorts of transformative curses to see what happens. The result is a somewhat ugly elf wearing a huge fantasy-styled trench coat to cover up the monstrous body he has that is constantly mutating between forms and isn’t sure how or why he’s alive or exists. The only reason he isn’t evil is because of the fact he’s putting in extra effort to try and blend in. (My plan for him when he softens up is to have him be like Quazimoto from Hunchback of Notre Dame, but a willing fighter. So far, he’s angsty, but not murder-hobo and I love my friend’s cleric putting in the extra effort to try and get him to befriend people. However, it’s slow going and is not above hurting people that piss him off and murdering people that genuinely make him furious.)
Point being, he’s not necessarily evil, but he is easily agitated and I do NOT want to be caught in the middle of his rages involving him leaping high in the air and gliding at me before ripping me apart. I am far from safe as he is and is motivated to kill me. The best I could do is try to find my friend’s cleric and get him to convince my barbarian that I’m not a threat.
My spell dwarf that knows every trolls name
I'd just have to wait like, 5 years tops, old-ass champion fighter
So there’s 2 ways of seeing this. There’s the most recent ttrpg character I’ve played, emma, and the most recent dnd 5e character ive played, viros.
Emma would probably be the easier of the 2. She is a character from hunter: the vigil, and as such she’s basically just a normal human by herself (this is a tier 2 campaign, so while the dm has considered giving endowments as story beats we don’t start off with any). Despite this, she is scary good at stealth, larceny, wilderness survival, and especially firearms, with her weapon of choice being a shotgun she can successfully stow away in her coat (i.e. she’s always able to hide the fact she’s open-carrying a shotgun from the authorities). Her preferred strategy is to set up ambushes where she can pick me off from, so trying to avoid leaving myself alone in locations is very important. As for weaknesses, she has two: while she is amazing at firearms, she is completely unskilled at close combat. Forcing her into such a position with a weapon will likely allow me to have a better chance in taking her out. Also, as a hunter she has a unique code she follows, which can be exploited for my own benefit. If at all possible, she will not risk the lives of others in pursuit of prey, and will not risk ridding the world of important knowledge (i remember adding additional rules to her code, but these are the big 2 I remember). I could use these against her to prevent her from harming me
Viros… viros is hard. The chaotic evil paladin of rakdos himself in my friend’s ravnica campaign, she is completely and 100% focused on killing people. She is faster than me, stronger than me, and is magically empowered by both her devotion to her oath and her guild. In a one-on-one confrontation, im fucked, but her bloodlust is also a weakness. She’s not a murderhobo per se, but she can easily be coaxed into violence, either at the proposition of a challenge or if someone pisses her off. If i can put her in a situation where someone gets in the way of her, she will likely kill them in broad daylight, and any police that come she’ll try to kill as well if she believes she is capable of doing so. She’s level 5, meaning she is powerful, but if the entire police force gets on her she can be very easily overpowered, all the while i try my best to run to safety away from the incredibly dangerous cat women trying to kill me. Its not fullproof, but its the best i can do considering her skills
A changeling Rouge inquisitive who's whole shtick is information gathering and tracking people down while not being found.
My current character is a horizon walker ranger who can teleport, turn invisible, melt into walls, walk through walls, track humans really well, and also is a vampire.
I'm just dead
Yeah I'm dead af, my last character was a level 15 red dragonborn oath of vengeance paladin named Arcturus Belldura (first name after a very large star). He started as oath of conquest serving vecna as a lawful evil warlord and after being betrayed by vecna swore vengeance on him and anyone else that would get in his way, so if he doesn't see me as a threat then I'm good, but if he's hunting me then I'm fucked. He had a Pegasus, haste and all sorts of smites, he has been shot several times (we had a gunslinger) and he wasn't that beat up. He had all sorts of magical items that made him an absolute animal to fight and personally I don't see myself walking away from this alive. Oh and fun fact he did get his vengeance on vecna in the end of our campaign by grappling him, preventing him from talking and made him watch as my buddies Annihilated what was left of his guards after Arcturus tore through them, scary mf
My previous character - Amara Belvir, an elf vengeance paladin and former smuggler who's main idea is that she wants to change the world considering that changes are inherently better than no changes. My answer is probably close to the first story, with the difference being that I would try to convince her to get herself into a very particular real-life situation (I would even help her to get proper modern gear). Also, I believe I could try to travel faster than her (she probably would travel by her means at least at the beginning, which is fast, but not faster than bullet train; it would only work for so long though).
My current character - Steam Mashine (yes, it's a name, it's justified in setting), an elf battlethmith artificer. I don't know why would she want to kill me, but if she does, I'm probably done. She has a better understanding of the modern-day world than I do (again, setting-specific reasons), so traveling faster than her is out of options list, and she has a gun (technically crossbow, but it's a gun for all intends and purposes).
A fifth level monk who does whatever hes paid for who is incredibly fast, smart, observant and skilled in combat. Also a master of disguise and deception. I wouldnt stand a chance unless I paid him more than he's been paid for my head.
Barbarian Warlock multiclass dwarf with a sentient magic hammer and his patron who actually lives in his body. Basically 3 characters in one, all of which are of dwarven origin. The character himself is CN, the patron is NE, and the hammer is LG. He's only level 5, but anything he couldn't crush with his hammer he'd deep-fry with magic. He used to be NG, but he was caught in a cave-in years ago that left his emotional state turbulent from head trauma and resulted in him pursuing dark magicks. I'd probably die.
As for other TTRPGS, there's Yooper from Masks, who was a Newborn class 10 foot tall stone golem toddler who would catch fire when he was angry. Being a total softy, I could probably get him to not kill me just by talking to him. If that fails, I'm getting reduced to red mashed potatoes.
Then there's my character from Monster Of The Week, who is the Celestial(I think that's what it was called) class ACTUAL ANGEL GABRIEL. Not bible accurate, original take. I'd have to hope he's feeling lazy, because he A: has a mega-powerful thunder hammer similar to Mjolnir and B: can ignore any weakness required to kill things, meaning he can do stuff like kill a werewolf without silver. Oh also he can teleport. If he decides to kill me, I would be absolutely atomized before I even realized I was in danger.
My last character was Innocent Lis (the name is kinda funny in my native language)
He was a level 2 human monk, with a bit of warlock tricks (magic initiate)
He was a young city guard once, and decided to try adventuring. Well, now he's old and traumatized after party paladin was eaten by jelly cube right in front of him, during their first mission, immediately retiring to the monastery to heal his mind. It didn't work, despite years of meditation and martial training, etc The nightmares still haunted him.
Until, one night a eldrich horror replaced the usual jelly dreams, and offered to free him from this in exchange for going back to adventuring and exacting the Patron's will. He agreed to the deal.
Despite all of this, his extremely pessimistic about everything, you will often hear him muttering how's everything can go wrong at any second. He's also morbidly willing to be the sacrifice, even when the party doesn't really need it: "Leave me to fight these 3 wolves! Run, fools! I'll hold them back, and if I can't, so be it!!!" So yeah, a bit dramatic. Honestly, he's only out adventuring because it lets him sleep soundly after couple of decades of torment.
If he's hunting me? Well... Idk, but I have a feeling he would just give up and lie down somewhere, without others pushing him towards the goal.
Lunalaa, a homebrew feywild-native divine soul sorcerer.
She's the party's healer and a huge softie who'd never knowingly hurt anyone who wasn't actively doing horrible things that she was aware of.
I'm fine, I could use hugs and she's probably very huggable.
Awakened Wolf, Humanoid Figther. Let alone any of her weapons or Spells, she has a speed of 50 due to magical items, which in her Wolf form can go up to 80.
Also knows Expeditious Retread, already doubling said speed, and can use Action Surge to repeat the whole proses.
In one event, we needed to reach a healer STAT to save a little boy the party was friends with. She reached Subsonic speeds.
If she was after me, she doesn't need to touch me, all she needs to do is run past me and I will turn into a red paste.
Pray that I didn't catch her attention.
Her name is Cresh, a huge ( 8 foot 8 inch) warforged Eldritch Knight. All of her spells are reskinned as various technological upgrades to her body, she also carries about ten different weapons on her at all times. She's from a high magic and high technology setting, she acts as a walking arsenal and siege platform as she has a railgun attached to her back that can be used by a halfling or gnome or similar sized being. She's comfortable at any range and wears +3 plate and a +3 shield. She's also got the warforged racial feature of integrated protection. So, yeah good luck hurting her. Oh, she's also lvl 19.
I’d probably be fine. Inai, my teifling paladin, is a wall of a man and quiet as a stone, but is rather intelligent and not prone to violence unless to defend others. Despite having his twin killed and his horns ground to the nubs as a child, he has a compassionate soul and would never harm innocents without a good reason. His sister was his polar opposite and would definitely be a problem, her being the quick and nimble to Inai’s slow and stalwart.
I’d be hunted by a sorcerer, WITH A GOD CREATOR CHICKEN FOR A FRIEND, AND A CHICKEN WHOSE EGGS BEND REALITY INTO CHAOS FOR A PET. Yeah I’m screwed
Optica, a custom lineage beholder version of a dragonborn. 5 eyes, massive amounts of perception, telepathy, psi knofe rogue. Also she kinda grows insane. Has developed a taste for nails. I would bot only be dead, i wouldnt even know it.
Oh, I am cosmically fucked. There is literally no scenario where I even survive this.
For context, in the current campaign I'm playing in, we all are humans transported from a different version of Earth into a magical world, isekai-style.
And my character, Kane Bridgemaker, is the fucking CEO of a multi-billion dollar company called "Valiant". He does not care for others, the only exception to this rule being his sister, and has no problem ruthlessly murdering someone, if it furthers his goals.
Now that isn't the worst part. The worst part is that he's a bard, and that we rolled our stats. And I rolled a fucking 90. So he has (with other modifiers applied of course) 14 STR, 18 DEX, 15 CON, 14 INT, 14 WIS, and 20 CHA. He ALSO is part of a special bloodline that makes his vicious mockery do d8 dice damage instead of d4. He ALSO has the tough feat, making him have as much HP as our fucking tank, and misty step.
This man wouldn't kill me, he'd fucking erase me from history, if not in hand to hand combat, he'd just have to write a single text on his phone and a fucking army of hired guns and hackers would make sure that I'd be forgotten forever.
Even if I somehow got my hands on his sister to like blackmail him into leaving me alone, he'd find a fucking way to get around that, even if he doesn't have his company and wealth backing him. Like, wtf do I do against the Sleep Spell?
Oath of vengeance paladin / fiendish-hexblade warlock multiclass.
Yes he has loaded up on as many possible smites as he feasibly can.
Even if I could survive long enough to let him burn through his spellslots (which may not take long with how many spell slots he can dump into the smiting) then there’s the issue of his eldritch blast which is more than enough to finish the job.
Neutral Good "High" Elf. The elf doesn't care, it's too high to catch me
Lina the Serpent. A 20 year old snake woman with the personality of a 90's California Valley Girl who loves to give hugs. She's a homebrew rogue class who fights by constricting her foes or throwing stuff. Good thing for me, she doesn't like killing people and would just take me in alive.if she doesn't get distracted by a pretty person or butterfly.
TLDR - DC Comic story where the party boy musician turns into the murder hobo because of bad dice roles and clowns who just refuse to run from the fight. If he's after me whether or not he kills me is dependent on if Scarface asked him to or he fails to hold back his strength.
The last character I got to play was named Leon Avory as part of DC comics inspired story consisting of only myself, and one other player plus our DM (we had trouble getting other people to join, and just wanted to play a chill game), Leon's power was that he was essentially a werelion with earth bending because he was given a second chance at life by an ancient, long-forgotten Earth spirit that I discovered while looking up the weird lore surrounding the concept of werelions.
Leon, and his later comrade Lazel found themselves arrested for different reasons, Leon was in on party drug charges, and Lazel was there for theft, use of his electrical powers, and we had a running joke that Lazel stole a pistol belonging to the Joker because he 'found it on the ground' prior to the main story. Leon is an aspiring villain, but had no real idea how to get into the scene, that is until that day in jail. After talking with the officers and leon schmoozing his way into a deal because he protected the cop who was being bullied by both Lazel and another younger cop, the two young men met Scarface. The puppet villain took the boys under as his new hired guns and in return he would help them rise the villain ranks of gotham.
Our first mission involved them stealing materials from a sort of Willy Wonka rip off that was absolutely hilarious and nearly resulted in Lazel drowning in chocolate because the thief decided to taste some.
But out second mission was to help Scarface take back territory from the other Gotham gangs, the first target of which was a toy store being run by Jokers. We go in, and split up, with Lazel going to try to find the weapons cache to help us out in the fight, while Leon would act as a distraction, and since Lazel's electricity had the drawback of frying his brain on a nat 1 Leon had a better chance of surviving a head on fight.
Leon tried to be stealthy at first, killing one clown Hitman PS3 style by sneaking up behind him and shoving the poor sod underneath a table, and then used a spell to turn all the toys on that table into pies that the clown henchmen were distracted by.
But then came the 4th clown. leon tried to lure the clown to go outside so he could minimize the people he'd have to kill so he could help Lazel. Problem was I rolled an 8 which wasn't enough to hit the window and instead I hit the clown in the face with a toy soldier poking him in the eye and drawing attention.
A series of unfortunate events later and Leon has HAD IT. He keeps trying, again and again to warn these clowns he does not want to kill them, but he has no choice. By the end of the session and the campaign as a whole (it was recently put on hiatus for life stuff) Leon managed to have a total of 10 kills in a campaign that was only meant to be a one shot. He'd absolutely kill me but I can rest easily knowing he'd probably apologize for it and at least bury me like he did the clowns. And he'd absolutely steal my anime, and manga posters for himself.
Darwin. A plasmoid tree farmer who is a circle of spores druid just because he finds the symbiotic relationship between mushrooms and trees cool. Bro was making sure the party stayed alive and active while fighting a dragon
A short warforged grave cleric that has one year left to live before he permanently malfunctions, it's so sad that it has to end that way.
Elethan Lucirn. A wood elf ranger wielding a trident and bow. He has around 35 health. His backstory is that he wanted to be a hero and before he could do so, his father was murdered. Legends spread about Elethan. Also his father haunts him and the haunting made the left side of his face covered in grey colored runes and his left I was a milky white. His father poses as a burden sometimes as Elethan wants to be by himself. Although his father does give him advice. But I would try to meet up with him and try to talk him out of it since he is a good person who probably kills for the greater good and to protect others.
So long as I’m not framed with killing one of his family members I’ve got a new chaotic good friend.
Magnus, a Devil's Tongue variant Tiefling Eldritch Knight/Storm Sorcerer.
After getting kicked out of Strixhaven over a misunderstanding regarding a staff member's spouse (he's innocent, I promise), he joined up with a bunch of monster hunters.
His go-to tactic when you make him mad: Fireball, Action Surge Fireball, then move in and Quickened Spell Booming Blade (apply Flames of Phlegethos and Empowered Spell as needed).
I'd be a smoldering corpse before I could do anything if I'm on his bad side, but he's usually slower to draw his weapon on people; I could probably talk him down.
I'm being hunted by my incredibly kind hearted and anxious tiefling sorcerer, Moon. I'm safe.