Really appreciate all the support that I've received. The best part of making UA-cam videos for me has definitely been the community and support. I've had 15-20 guys personally reach out to me who I've met in real life as they came to my retreat or were my online fitness coaching client (who I later met in-person). If you want to work with me to level up and join my wolfpack, check out changnation.com. Next retreat will be in December: changnation.com/retreat for more info on how to apply.
Block her number. Do not contact her. Do not check in with her. Do not cyber stalk. Do not give her a second thought. Do not waste your time with this girl. She does not deserve any attention.
@@TheDailyMalePodcast please don’t do that. I remembered being in a situation, where a lady and her ex was sort of arguing; when she later revealed to me that I sort of saved her from the embarrassing situation. You don’t want to be in bad terms with your ex, more so when she is in the healthcare industry. You won’t know when you need her help to save your life or the life of your loved ones. Just part ways and take that opportunity to train your emotional strength
better to break up now than having kid later & she don't want to take care of the kid, so you gotta do most of the parenting. speaking from my own experience.
Hey brother, just turned 29 recently as well. Happy late birthday but man do you provide such great reflection about your situation. Well I mean intelligent people are known to do that so I would expect that from you. Thanks for building this community, and I hope your life gets better every single year, from the lessons we learn. P.S. No catfishing on your dating apps lol. I still remember how you would do that in your earlier 20s. Also 30 isn't the end of the world. It only is if we've been doing bad habits consistently. You're putting in the work and we see that. All the best brother!
Happy Birthday, bruv. Don't let this get you down for long (grieve the loss of the relationship but don't dwell on it too long). Learn your lesson and move on to the next chapter.
Vast majority of Career woman have a lot of “masculinity” in them. Any men that views her as girlfriend material (or even Friends with benefits) material, is setting himself up for disaster
@@jayrollo1352 So much cope in your comment. Not everyone wants kids. Yes, there's a lot of people that later in life regret, but there's a huge amount of people that never regret it and you don't hear it from them. Negativity is always louder that positivity.
I'm 47 and Asian and been through a lot of different relationships. My advice to young Asian men, or young men in general, is DO NOT date a "boss babe", because most of the time they'll always put their career first above family and all else. There isn't true equality in a family, there can be only ONE person who wears the pants and makes the important decisions. If you are a guy with an Alpha/Sigma personality, you need a supportive and submissive girl to help you in your endeavors. Boss babes are great for beta males. Don't be delusional and believe there is actual "equality" in a relationship, it's a recipe for divorce.
@@Shobbob894No it’s just how a good marriage works. Let me just say I was young once and believed everything young men believe. Reality isnt based on what you believe. Also again I’m not saying men have to lead, I’m just saying in a long lasting relationship one person must lead and one needs to follow and support. Doesn’t matter if it’s the woman or the man.
@@jyan21 No I don’t agree, I believe they should support each other in an actual loving relationship, the type of relationship you conform to sounds really transactional and fake.
As someone who doesn't want kids, let me tell you this lifestyle choice needs to align with your goals and is always an automatic dealbreaker in any serious relationship. Never bank on the possibility that someone will change their mind. And for folks especially aged 30+, those kinds of choices need to be firm and known from the get-go.
@@ChangNation and there will always be someone who is better than you. And a lot of women have the option to go with those men eventually, with social media and apps. It's an overcrowded market nowadays
1. You're not old. You have a whole decade ahead of you as your PRIME best years 2. Consider not dating for a while. Can see in your eyes you need some time to process. There's a weird pressure in self dev to always GO GO GO. It's healthy to take some time to process so your emotions catch up 3. You're right she did you a favor bc later on it would have been more painful some things are just incompatible. Logically we understand this but emotions take time to catch up ,and you nee to feel all of it, and not let it stay trapped where i can wreck havoc later.
You don’t have to treat your ex like an enemy but after you have your goodbye bbq, you need to be done with the friendly get together. You know what you need to know to tell you the relationship is not for you. A Future date or girlfriend will not see the just friends hanging out with your ex the way you do. She will count your last relationship end date as the last day you hung out with your ex. So wish her the best but wean yourself off the “friendship” so you can move on with your life.
The best advice I ever got was from a high school teacher I had when I was very young a bit over 30 years ago. He said, "women are like flowers, you pick them, you smell them, then you throw them away." I bet you now that she's out of the picture and not dragging you down, you can focus more on your own self-development, and you'll be successful in no time.
just have a roster my boy have at least 2 girls that you can go back and fourth with eventually the honey moon will fade and the one that stays the longest wins
I'll be honest and say I read the first few words and thought it was gonna be another garbage red pill / black pill comment, but was pleasantly surprised
You’re gonna want to go back at some point. Block and delete it’s the only way. You can find someone who truly is warm and into you! Don’t friendzone yourself
How was the breakup initiated bro? Bc I been thinking of breaking up too in my 5 year relationship but I don’t know how to start it.. and yeah she eventually wants kids but I told her I don’t want them and I feel like she’s hoping I eventually change my mind on that.. so kind of like your situation but reverse.
I'd recommend bringing this point up for her and just being completely transparent that you aren't willing to have kids. Especially since this is such an important topic to be aligned with your partner on
I disagree with people who write here “she wants kids just not with you bro” etc, i know a lot of women who genuinely don’t want kids (I’ve even met a lot of FOB women from China who straight away told me they don’t want kids) but on the other hand no offence bro but it was naive on your part trying to change the woman’s mind - see you just wasted your time. Cut the losses and don’t make same mistake again, all the best bro
Women go thru all types of fleeing emotions. She will feel like she doesn’t want kids now…but wait a year or so she will be ready. If she’s younger then you, and your 29..she probably isn’t ready yet. Most career minded women have kids in 30s nowadays. I mean if she was latina then it would be odd…as they usually like to have kids early in life. But being she’s Asian/white her feelings will most likely change in few years.
Such is life, you can only make decisions based off the current circumstance. If I want to take the gamble and keep dating her assuming that she will change her mind in a few years about kids, I'm just setting myself up for a potential lose-lose situation: - She has kids (but doesn't want them) - She doesn't want kids (and I need to find someone else in a shortened time period)
H**y s**t, bro. Career woman. That’s an avoidant woman. I am so sorry you wasted your time with her. Health care people don’t date? Bs bro. They do, but their way is different, and you must have a lot of emotional strength to get through that wall of her. Most of the med students I know were either married or getting married after graduation. They know they don’t have time left and time is essence. She just doesn’t know her role in life, my bro. I recommend checking out attachment theory Dude, are you on the anxious spectrum? Then prepare got eh anxious-avoidant dance. If she is that kind of person who can’t bond well with people, likely she will come back to you on and off for a decade. Prepare for the ride bro I know a married couple of who don’t want to have kids. But bear in mind that their relationship spanned so long that having no kids is fine with them. They just spend time traveling whenever they could. It’s all about how you negotiate your non-negotiables man. If having kids is your absolute non-negotiable, I would find another one.
Genuine question: Are you going to get a couple quick easy one-night-stands to help in the short term with the breakup or are you strictly going for long term girlfriend?
@@ChangNation going back to ur other video, why not create a wholesome dating/relationship channel? This will help alleviate some of the toxic side of PUAs and Manosphere approaches
She wants kids. Don't get that twisted. She doesn't want to have YOUR kids. Brutal reality. I think she wants to ride the CC. Stay up brother. You'll get through it.
@@jayrollo1352 I'd have to disagree with that. Millennials don't really want kids these days, but it does seem like Gen Z do. Could also be tied to socioeconomic status as well
I believe all guys should go through a pick up phase at some point, but emphasis on the phase. I'm not a big fan of pick up artists (PUAs) because their identify revolve around "picking up" girls which is pretty sad. It's much better to develop the skill of cold approach then apply it in settings that are better for meeting people such as at parties, going out with friends, etc
Bro, this information has literally been in the public domain and UA-cam for years and years now but many guys including maybe you would discount that content as red pill or misogynistic. I don’t know that for fact but what I can tell you is NEVER ever date a career woman or boss babe! You need to find yourself a nice Asian girl who wasn’t pushed into college with the ultimate goal in life being a degree/career. Heck even a girl working at the local sushi place or wherever is better. Ideally a couple years younger than you and keen on having a family. Talk about kids early on and see how they react, the ones that want kids/family will be happy to tell you very early on while in the dating stage… Don’t get an Asian girl overseas, stay away from that if you can. As a last resort maybe but not at your age. It’s complicated and there are many cultural differences. You never know how they react when they come to the USA. You are young so it’s all good but learn from this and you’ll be good. 👍🏼
@@jayrollo1352 things are slowly getting better in Toronto for AMXF but yes. By far most of the interest you're going to get is gonna be from AFs. I think Van even moreso. AMXF isn't impossible tho you just gotta grind more than you would for an AF.
@@alexandertraveler510 Poland is a prosperous European nation that aligns closely with Western standards. If you are unable to attain success within Western societies, it is highly probable that you would encounter similar challenges in affluent Eastern European countries.
At your current age you are not even in your prime whereas she is in decline. You will look back in 5 years with somebody much better on your arm who regards you as the prize.
There's more to relationships than just looks (assuming you're talking about the looks SMV chart). Honestly looks are just binary for me, I'm either attracted to the girl or I'm not, past that point there's much more I value in a relationship
Really appreciate all the support that I've received. The best part of making UA-cam videos for me has definitely been the community and support. I've had 15-20 guys personally reach out to me who I've met in real life as they came to my retreat or were my online fitness coaching client (who I later met in-person).
If you want to work with me to level up and join my wolfpack, check out changnation.com.
Next retreat will be in December: changnation.com/retreat for more info on how to apply.
Happy birthday dude!
And stop that, 30s is not old. Life is just started lol
Block her number. Do not contact her. Do not check in with her. Do not cyber stalk. Do not give her a second thought. Do not waste your time with this girl. She does not deserve any attention.
@@TheDailyMalePodcast please don’t do that. I remembered being in a situation, where a lady and her ex was sort of arguing; when she later revealed to me that I sort of saved her from the embarrassing situation. You don’t want to be in bad terms with your ex, more so when she is in the healthcare industry. You won’t know when you need her help to save your life or the life of your loved ones.
Just part ways and take that opportunity to train your emotional strength
Happy birthday Chang! 🎉 🎂
Keep your head up and move forward.
So common relationship when people turn 29
better to break up now than having kid later & she don't want to take care of the kid, so you gotta do most of the parenting. speaking from my own experience.
Hey brother, just turned 29 recently as well. Happy late birthday but man do you provide such great reflection about your situation. Well I mean intelligent people are known to do that so I would expect that from you. Thanks for building this community, and I hope your life gets better every single year, from the lessons we learn.
P.S. No catfishing on your dating apps lol. I still remember how you would do that in your earlier 20s. Also 30 isn't the end of the world. It only is if we've been doing bad habits consistently. You're putting in the work and we see that. All the best brother!
Keep good brother, look after you.
I was in a similar situation as you at age 29 . As i turned 30 i found an even better woman and have upped my life. Hang in there brother!
Happy Birthday, bruv. Don't let this get you down for long (grieve the loss of the relationship but don't dwell on it too long). Learn your lesson and move on to the next chapter.
It's always harder to stay in a relationship than to start one. It's an accomplishment that you were together for as long as you were.
as someone that's having a hard time trying to get into a relationship, FML
Surprised you went out with her in the first place. Never date career women if you want a family.
Easier said than being in the thick of it
It's hard. Plus don't believe her. She wants kids. Just not with him. What else can you do?
Vast majority of Career woman have a lot of “masculinity” in them. Any men that views her as girlfriend material (or even Friends with benefits) material, is setting himself up for disaster
@@jayrollo1352 So much cope in your comment. Not everyone wants kids. Yes, there's a lot of people that later in life regret, but there's a huge amount of people that never regret it and you don't hear it from them. Negativity is always louder that positivity.
I'm 47 and Asian and been through a lot of different relationships. My advice to young Asian men, or young men in general, is DO NOT date a "boss babe", because most of the time they'll always put their career first above family and all else. There isn't true equality in a family, there can be only ONE person who wears the pants and makes the important decisions. If you are a guy with an Alpha/Sigma personality, you need a supportive and submissive girl to help you in your endeavors. Boss babes are great for beta males. Don't be delusional and believe there is actual "equality" in a relationship, it's a recipe for divorce.
Nice
Or maybe you just wanna have a power fantasy over someone
@@Shobbob894No it’s just how a good marriage works. Let me just say I was young once and believed everything young men believe. Reality isnt based on what you believe. Also again I’m not saying men have to lead, I’m just saying in a long lasting relationship one person must lead and one needs to follow and support. Doesn’t matter if it’s the woman or the man.
@@Shobbob894 Yeah I do. Because I'm masculine. I don't like masculine women. Not that hard to understand.
@@jyan21 No I don’t agree, I believe they should support each other in an actual loving relationship, the type of relationship you conform to sounds really transactional and fake.
Sorry what you went through man.
Thanks 4 sharing
Sorry to hear about this Chang. It sounds like you've got a solid plan going forward though to come back better and stronger though!
The man is back on the market
As someone who doesn't want kids, let me tell you this lifestyle choice needs to align with your goals and is always an automatic dealbreaker in any serious relationship. Never bank on the possibility that someone will change their mind. And for folks especially aged 30+, those kinds of choices need to be firm and known from the get-go.
Welcome to the shitshow of modern dating. It’s brutal.
It is what it is, best we can do is focus on what we can control
@@ChangNation not much is in your control, because no matter how much you change about yourself, you can never change the field
@@AJ-iu6nw there's plenty most guys can do to improve themselves to the point where there's an impactful difference in dating results
@@ChangNation and there will always be someone who is better than you. And a lot of women have the option to go with those men eventually, with social media and apps. It's an overcrowded market nowadays
@@ChangNation how did your birthday kbbq go?
On the one hand, I’m really sorry, on the other, welcome to the singledom club, let’s build ourselves.
Bro you're 29 now, let this be a life lesson. You're gonna need to screen for that stuff now.
1. You're not old. You have a whole decade ahead of you as your PRIME best years
2. Consider not dating for a while. Can see in your eyes you need some time to process. There's a weird pressure in self dev to always GO GO GO. It's healthy to take some time to process so your emotions catch up
3. You're right she did you a favor bc later on it would have been more painful some things are just incompatible. Logically we understand this but emotions take time to catch up ,and you nee to feel all of it, and not let it stay trapped where i can wreck havoc later.
20s are the prime
You don’t have to treat your ex like an enemy but after you have your goodbye bbq, you need to be done with the friendly get together. You know what you need to know to tell you the relationship is not for you. A Future date or girlfriend will not see the just friends hanging out with your ex the way you do. She will count your last relationship end date as the last day you hung out with your ex. So wish her the best but wean yourself off the “friendship” so you can move on with your life.
The best advice I ever got was from a high school teacher I had when I was very young a bit over 30 years ago. He said, "women are like flowers, you pick them, you smell them, then you throw them away." I bet you now that she's out of the picture and not dragging you down, you can focus more on your own self-development, and you'll be successful in no time.
I feel like you should've looked at this in the very beginning. Kids or no kids is a non-negotiable.
It's never good to download dating apps.
Chang you can join my single time retreat, Gin&Tonic retreat. I can show the poses that works
HE’S SINGLE!!!!! LFG
Really common people breaking up at 29
just have a roster my boy have at least 2 girls that you can go back and fourth with eventually the honey moon will fade and the one that stays the longest wins
I'll be honest and say I read the first few words and thought it was gonna be another garbage red pill / black pill comment, but was pleasantly surprised
Oh she’s half Asian
Half Asians usually tend to be more white than Asian due to environment
yeah can't trust these hoes
Unless they're from the deep south, where they're treated as not white and tend to think of themselves as Asian
You’re gonna want to go back at some point. Block and delete it’s the only way. You can find someone who truly is warm and into you! Don’t friendzone yourself
happy bday. my bday is tomorrow
Happy Late Birthday!
How was the breakup initiated bro? Bc I been thinking of breaking up too in my 5 year relationship but I don’t know how to start it.. and yeah she eventually wants kids but I told her I don’t want them and I feel like she’s hoping I eventually change my mind on that.. so kind of like your situation but reverse.
I'd recommend bringing this point up for her and just being completely transparent that you aren't willing to have kids. Especially since this is such an important topic to be aligned with your partner on
what’s the fitness channel called?
www.youtube.com/@changnationfitness
I disagree with people who write here “she wants kids just not with you bro” etc, i know a lot of women who genuinely don’t want kids (I’ve even met a lot of FOB women from China who straight away told me they don’t want kids) but on the other hand no offence bro but it was naive on your part trying to change the woman’s mind - see you just wasted your time. Cut the losses and don’t make same mistake again, all the best bro
You've always had a plethora of women lining up for u so all good bro
Women go thru all types of fleeing emotions. She will feel like she doesn’t want kids now…but wait a year or so she will be ready. If she’s younger then you, and your 29..she probably isn’t ready yet. Most career minded women have kids in 30s nowadays. I mean if she was latina then it would be odd…as they usually like to have kids early in life. But being she’s Asian/white her feelings will most likely change in few years.
Such is life, you can only make decisions based off the current circumstance. If I want to take the gamble and keep dating her assuming that she will change her mind in a few years about kids, I'm just setting myself up for a potential lose-lose situation:
- She has kids (but doesn't want them)
- She doesn't want kids (and I need to find someone else in a shortened time period)
H**y s**t, bro. Career woman. That’s an avoidant woman. I am so sorry you wasted your time with her. Health care people don’t date? Bs bro. They do, but their way is different, and you must have a lot of emotional strength to get through that wall of her. Most of the med students I know were either married or getting married after graduation. They know they don’t have time left and time is essence. She just doesn’t know her role in life, my bro. I recommend checking out attachment theory
Dude, are you on the anxious spectrum? Then prepare got eh anxious-avoidant dance. If she is that kind of person who can’t bond well with people, likely she will come back to you on and off for a decade. Prepare for the ride bro
I know a married couple of who don’t want to have kids. But bear in mind that their relationship spanned so long that having no kids is fine with them. They just spend time traveling whenever they could. It’s all about how you negotiate your non-negotiables man. If having kids is your absolute non-negotiable, I would find another one.
I've read attachment the book, definitely a good read that gives perspective on how attachment styles plays out in healthy relationships
How old is she? If she's young it could just be a phase she's going through
She's a few years younger than me
I'm quite curious if she knew about your channel?
She does - I told her about it when we first started dating
@@ChangNation Sorry to hear about the break man, you deserve better.
I think you will be fine. I think rare it's you have people who have mutual breakups.
Genuine question: Are you going to get a couple quick easy one-night-stands to help in the short term with the breakup or are you strictly going for long term girlfriend?
Interesting question, I don't really like ONS personally so would prefer to just dating more seriously
@@ChangNation going back to ur other video, why not create a wholesome dating/relationship channel? This will help alleviate some of the toxic side of PUAs and Manosphere approaches
@@gen_z_alien29 I like that idea, what type of content / videos would you want to see?
@@ChangNationrelationship dynamics between different cultures, personal experiences, what it takes to be in one, the purpose of relationships etc etc
I'm sorry you had to deal with breakup but sunnier future is ahead 😁🙏 🌞
You are so young. 30 is too young. 47 is very young too for men
Someone that half Asian is NOT Asian. You could have as well just said that she was a why woman
i think eveyrone is going through depression
She wants kids. Don't get that twisted. She doesn't want to have YOUR kids. Brutal reality. I think she wants to ride the CC. Stay up brother. You'll get through it.
lol
Do you truly believe 100% of girls want kids?
@@ChangNation I say 99.99% of women want kids.
@@jayrollo1352delusional
@@jayrollo1352 I'd have to disagree with that. Millennials don't really want kids these days, but it does seem like Gen Z do. Could also be tied to socioeconomic status as well
So are you for or against pua and pickup then
I believe all guys should go through a pick up phase at some point, but emphasis on the phase. I'm not a big fan of pick up artists (PUAs) because their identify revolve around "picking up" girls which is pretty sad. It's much better to develop the skill of cold approach then apply it in settings that are better for meeting people such as at parties, going out with friends, etc
Is it just me or do people break up more during the time of elections?
He’s good looking!.!.
Bro, this information has literally been in the public domain and UA-cam for years and years now but many guys including maybe you would discount that content as red pill or misogynistic. I don’t know that for fact but what I can tell you is NEVER ever date a career woman or boss babe! You need to find yourself a nice Asian girl who wasn’t pushed into college with the ultimate goal in life being a degree/career. Heck even a girl working at the local sushi place or wherever is better. Ideally a couple years younger than you and keen on having a family. Talk about kids early on and see how they react, the ones that want kids/family will be happy to tell you very early on while in the dating stage…
Don’t get an Asian girl overseas, stay away from that if you can. As a last resort maybe but not at your age. It’s complicated and there are many cultural differences. You never know how they react when they come to the USA.
You are young so it’s all good but learn from this and you’ll be good. 👍🏼
WHO? This is the 1st time you mention a girl in your channel.
Private life = better life.
Time for passport man. Colombia is waiting
Too dangerous
Wish I was getting dates and experience, girls in canada don't even like asian guys :(
Move to Toronto or Van if you haven't already and have the financial means to do so. You'll find somebody.
Just Asian girls?
@@markc7236 i'm in toronto
I had a couple of guys from Toronto come to my retreat and they did fine after my retreat with the photos I took
@@jayrollo1352 things are slowly getting better in Toronto for AMXF but yes. By far most of the interest you're going to get is gonna be from AFs. I think Van even moreso. AMXF isn't impossible tho you just gotta grind more than you would for an AF.
Is she Asian or Chinese? Odd most Chinese/asian wants kids
In 45 year old male and I don’t want kids due to age and unstable work
I’m Chinese
She doesn't want to have HIS kids.
In my experience I’ve met a lot Chinese FOB women who told me they don’t want kids
it's time to date more European women.
Yeh Poland is waiting
I'm more attracted to Asians
Nah they won’t want him
thats how asian women have you on the hook
@@alexandertraveler510
Poland is a prosperous European nation that aligns closely with Western standards. If you are unable to attain success within Western societies, it is highly probable that you would encounter similar challenges in affluent Eastern European countries.
At your current age you are not even in your prime whereas she is in decline. You will look back in 5 years with somebody much better on your arm who regards you as the prize.
There's more to relationships than just looks (assuming you're talking about the looks SMV chart). Honestly looks are just binary for me, I'm either attracted to the girl or I'm not, past that point there's much more I value in a relationship