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r/Kidsaref**kingstupid | mommy pls i need it
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- Опубліковано 31 жов 2023
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Top posts from r/Kidsaref**kingstupid on Reddit. Join the community subreddit at / emkay Video credits below.
Narrator ► / @damienlee
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Can we appreciate how intellectually inferior children are compared to their teenage counterparts?
why are you talking like humans are some kind of microorganism that you learn about in 7th grade science
@@epicman1232fr
@@epicman1232 only the short ones
some of the freshmen this year... there not that intellectually superior than the elementary kids
@@campbat5712as a 14 year old freshman, hey. Stop using logic. But seriously we are probably quite significantly superior intellectually because kindergartens have the iq of a rock
Once when my dad and aunt were kids, they were fighting in a restaurant. My nan promptly stood up, silenced the restaurant, and said, “Hello everyone. We are the (last names), and we are from Oklahoma. My children do not know how to behave in a restaurant.” and then sat back down. My dad said that whenever he and my aunt started fighting, she’d slowly stand up and they'd immediately stop. One of my favorite stories to hear.
got a similar event with my mother. i had one tempertantrum in the checkout line at the lokal supermarket. my mother trew herself next to me on the floor and starts faking her own tantrum.
in shoort that was the first and last time i did such a thing. a few employes know us stilkl today 25 years later.
Both of these stories are awesome!
😂
@@extremchiller410 A similar thing happened to an old friend of mine. She always acted out when in public and her parents were at the end of their rope of her. Anyway, one time when she was throwing a temper tantrum her mom throw herself on the floor and started throwing one too. My friend stop, stared at her mom and said, "Mom, stop. You're embarrassing me." Her mom stopped and answered, "And now you know how I feel." My friend never acted out in public again.
@@extremchiller410lokal, trew, stilkl.
Stupid shit I did as a kid:
- Gave all our decorative nutcrackers “haircuts”, thinking their beards and hair would grow back.
- Picked up a dead bird and brought it inside, claiming it was “sleeping”.
- Started crying when Omaha was mentioned by a TV show, because I thought it was Oklahoma and my dad doesn’t like Oklahoma (OU vs. UT rivalry)
- Started crying whenever someone mentioned Star Wars.
- Asked my mom if I was pregnant whenever my stomach hurt.
- Ate a shitload of peppers and became surprised when my tongue started to hurt.
- Got scared of a ride-on lawnmower and somehow convinced my parents that I was scared of a roadrunner.
- Asked a black person if they got burnt.
- Described an overweight woman as “squishy”.
There’s probably more, but this is all I can remember. I like to think I’m a decent member of society nowadays, but…
Whats your gender, because if you’re a guy then the pregnancy one is hilarious!
@@Samurai_Spirit23 I’m a lady, so the pregnancy one may not be as funny as you imagined! But I was still… like, four. I didn’t need to be thinking about that! 😅
"Described an overweight woman as squishy" is always better than straight up calling her fat.
I just got a memory from when I asked an African American person is he was saved from a fire and when I found out that he was born with darker skin I also stupidly asked if they also have black spit because of the fact that he was using chewing tobacco he laughed his buttocks off and said that it was chewing tobacco and they have the same color of spit but I was three years old
@@hichristopherwashburn5973 that was a cool guy you met. Nice to know he was happy to answer questions, even laughing instead of yelling.
I _vaguely_ remember doing this, but I've heard the story told a few times.
When I was 7, I had a fascination with snakes. In our area, we get a lot of harmless garter snakes, and, well, as a kid, I used to catch them. One day, I get the "bright" idea to bring one in to show my dad, who doesn't like snakes at all. He sees me bring the snake inside, trip over the rug, and release the snake all at about the same time.
Cue him yelling and cursing and chasing this snake all around the kitchen. Cue me thinking "This is funny," followed by remembering there were more snakes outside.
By the time dad caught the first snake, I had put 5 others inside the house. He knew something was up when he saw the smirk on my face.
Then he saw the snake in my hands.
"Don't you dare."
Of course, mischievous little shit that I was, I let go of the snake, it immediately slithers off into the unknown, and I delivered the words that haunted my dad's mind for the next two days.
"Was that 11 or 12? Hey, dad, can I have one of your markers so I can label the next ones?"
The bellowed "No!" was, I remember, _not_ the answer I was looking for.
Dad's solution, of course, to the snake problem was to lock the door so I wouldn't go wandering out to get even more snakes, then started tossing them out of the windows.
I then got grounded for two weeks. "Three days for bringing _those_ into the house, and 11 days for 11 snakes!"
"But it was only seven!"
"You said 11 snakes, you get 11 days."
😂😂😂😂
🤣
😂😂😂
The ending was funny🤣
This is brilliant 😂
I was in a facebook group way back when the allowance one was posted. The kid was promised a certain amount of money, and the parent gave them about 25% of what was promised. The kid was not just "Upset with the amount" they were pissed that the parent was a liar, and basically a thief.
Ah, that explains it. Thank you for clarifying
Still think ripping it was wasn't the brightest move, but I'd be pissed off, too!
Wait until they discover taxes.
@@AylaMarine It's not too big of a deal, if you take the pieces to the bank they give you new bills. Intentionally destroying money is a crime, but people take old non-functional bills to get exchanged all the time. They'll probably understand.
fr, sometimes my parents would promise me things, and then wouldn't give them to me, and then months later of me bothering and bugging them they'd say something like "ughhh fine" and I'd be like "i don't want it anymore I just don't want you to lie to me"
Do not ever let kids blow on things you want to eat or let them drink out of your glass. Little ones have zero control of their spit.
they are walking petri dishes..
They WILL make you sick all the time..
Met adults with the same issue. No controll of their spit.
@swededude1992 what kind of adults are you meeting lmao
Meanwhile my mother getting angry with me because I don't want to die because the baby was eating something and didn't like it.
Me spitting everywhere when im speaking loudly
When i was a kid i was sent to the principals office for threatening to kick another girl "in the nuts". For some reason the principal seemed more concerned with explaining to me that girls do not have nuts than explaining why you should not threaten to kick someone in them for cutting you in line
I wouldnt accept her explaination either, as far as i was concerned "the nuts" was just the name of the spot that hurts the most when you kick it
I'd bet everyone's "the nuts" spot is the groin.
@@SilverAceOfSpades Well, girls get periods there and I know that hurts like hell. And when guys get kicked there it also hurts like hell. So probably.
Genuine question here, but does it hurt as much if you kick a women in the groin even though there’s nothing there? Like I’m not being sexist I’m genuinely curious
@darshansooful9559 as a vagina-owner, I have tripped while trying to step over a fence , can confirm it hurts. Probably a smaller target area than the fellas, but I still would be curled in a ball if I was kicked in the groin.
This joke was actually used quite well in the movie _Daddy's Home_
@@darshansooful9559I was accidentally kicked in the crotch last year. It hurt a lot. However, I would not be surprised to hear that getting kicked in the nuts hurts more.
Things I did as a child that I'll never live down from my parents:
- when I used safety scissors to cut off all of my eyelashes
- when I colored my dad's expensive glossy art book of Salvador Dali's work with white out
- when I taped my rickety swingset together. As in, I circled 1/2inch scotch tape around the entire perimeter, edge to edge, of the swingset and told my dad that it was fixed and he doesn't have to worry about it. It was replaced in full by the time I returned home from school the next day and I was very upset about that
- when I skiproped with a short blanket in the house instead of just getting the jumprope. I busted my chin open
- when I was 9 and my dad asked me if a car was coming the other direction as he was looking the other way. I stared at the vehicle and said, "nothing's coming.... EXCEPT FOR THAT!"
Do you recall why you wanted to cut off your eyelashes?
Can relate to the first one, except I cut my eyebrows with a pair of scissors. It's still shocking they grew back 'perfectly'(according to the parental unit).
DUDE I ALSO BASHED MY CHIN OPEN THE SAME WAY I STILL HAVE A SCAR
I once tried to help clean by spraying the water in the fish aquarium with furniture polish.
I also, when I was 6, tried to save my sister from a firecracker by throwing a rock at it, knocking it over so when it went off it hit me straight in the eye
I'm pretty sure my family remembers the times the fire department/police showed up at my house, all 6 times between the ages of 3 and 8, because I'd gotten stuck, again, right at the top of our gum tree. Eventually my parents got permission to cut the tree down!
How did we survive childhood?
How are you still alive
Not gonna lie lemonade cake does sound way more appetizing than lemon loaf. Loaf reminds me to much of meatloaf.
Or something brown in a toilet
Or a loaf of bread
But Meatloaf is such a great singer....
Just makes it better.
@@Jedidiah_Martin_2*was
That last question: to preface, my dad is half native american
When i was a kid the one black kid in my class asked if my dad was black
My response? "No, hes just really really brown"
Which isnt wrong but also it haunts me. Anytime anything related to tanning or race comes up in relation to my family its always mentioned
It's okay. I thought my white dad, who is generally kind of tan, was black up until I was around 8.
The thing with the duck is: it counts by technicalities as a predator. Not built like one, but they are predators to other smaller species of bugs, amphibians and small crustaceans that live in its habitat of ponds. So yeah, it is a predator, just not a very big one.
It also counts as a sexual predator
@@spindash64why do y'all keep reminding me of the one thing I didn't wanna know about ducks
@@atomicnumber202
Because we will never forgive them for such...
_Fowl Play_
@@spindash64 omfg you comedy mimic
Kid: Are ducks predators?
Parents: Well, male ducks are...
Underrated comment
Ducks do sometimes eat frogs and fish, so yes they are.
@@sambrown6426male ducks are known for forcing females into mating
technically almost every animal can be a predator if circumstances make it desperate enough.
Yes they’re so violent
Reminds me of when I used to play with live snakes as a toddler, as to how I never got bit idk, but holy crap my mom freaked when she realized the snakes were real
Well they probably weren't dangerous
@@raymiemiller1455tbf, I taped their mouths shut
I had toy snakes but apparently they were packed in boxes after a move, but the house had a lot of snakes
Are you Greek, by any chance?
@@Schrodingers_kid nah, I'm American
Ever have a kid cry because they can't find something they're holding
Not me, but I HAVE looked for things I was actively holding myself and just confuse myself when I realize what happened.
@@joshuahunt3032like looking for your phone with the flashlight of your phone
Nah homie I am that kid, except I am a young adult and I have crippling adhd and memory loss(I like to call em brain holes)
I was trying to find my glasses while wearing them 😂😂😂😂
My Mom once asked me if I'd seen her sunglasses.
I asked, "Not the ones on your head?"
Painting a fence with water actually sounds like a good way to engage your child, since they can see the water leaving a trail on the wood, and yet it disappears as it evaporates so they can keep doing it for as long as it entertains them with no negative consequences.
(Except for water damage but I imagine the toddler will get distracted before that happens)
Also, having them pose by the wall and hosing them down quick, and ta-da, temporary wall/fence art! Or just a big bucket of water if one kid!
As someone both autistic and dyslexic I'd actually prefer finding out by misreading the card to thinking something's wrong with me (bc other kids thought I was weird and a bit creepy) and getting diagnosed as an adult
Also, I ate tissues when I was a kid and my friend drank shampoo
I chased girls around the playground threatening to hug and kiss them
I was a concerning autistic child
I remember patting my belly next to a fellow (male) student and going “I’m pregnant!” and he yelled for a teacher and I cried bc I thought I was going to get into trouble 💀 (I’m also autistic lol)
Man good thing i do extensive research on how not to be weird (also on the spectrum..)
4:31 That was so annoying... I remember being a little kid and always getting pissed off when kids would just become "fairies with everything powers"
When me and my sister were playing a game, she always had to be the Rainbow Angel Queen element lol
While training to be a teaching assistant I used the word tomboy to describe myself. 6yrs old asked what tomboy means, so I explained. He then exclaimed "when I get home I'm gonna tell my dad that our new teacher is a playboy!"
That's actually oddly endearing lol
If I, even as an adult had to get 5 shots I too would be scared. Kudos to that kid man, I could never!
This is kinda unrelated, but my dog Fergus is such a wuss about shots that they literally have to use the needles meant for puppies! 🤣
My sister was actually like that. She has a sensitive stomach and she hated taking pills and syrup so she just straight up went for the shots option 😅 Even though when she is perfectly able to get well without them 😅
When I was like, 10-11, somewhere around there, I just went to my yearly physical. Walk in and the doc checked my vaccine needs for the appointment. Needed 4 shots AND a finger prick. Two shots in each arm and a pierced finger later and my mom had to hold me down from running away, as this was before I stopped breaking down over the freaking flu shot…. At age 14.
@@raniaathanasios5527 hey, at least you don't have to deal with giving yourself 4+ shots of insulin every day!
The parent who told their kid the big shot was changed into several little ones is a genius.
17:41 Yeah, but who needs Santa when you got Saint Nicholas? The bishop who straight up decked a guy in front of Emperor Constantine back in 325 AD.
fun fact!! bread is actually super dangerous fro ducks and its a generally better idea to give them peas!
Yes, I too have seen "Good Omens"
i love how you got it from good omens and i got it from playing a game called growing up lol@@jakepullman4914
Never learn from peppa pig🛫🛫🛫
7:00 bro idc if I'm a millionaire, 25 bucks is 25 bucks I wouldn't be caught dead ripping it up for anything less than 26 bucks.
12:56
once when i was at my mom's funeral when i was 5, i was talking to one of my mom's friends, and she said "i'm sorry" as in "i'm sorry for your loss". at the time i had never heard the phrase before and i thought my mom's friend was apologizing for killing my mom
22:05 i have a similar story. i vaguely remember when i was about 3 or 4, i was in a hotel elevator with my dad, as we were waiting to get to our floor, a very tall black man walked into the elevator. this was the first time i had ever seen a black man in my life. so i was just looking up at him in awe, absolutely bewildered, and suddenly i pointed to him and just blurted out _really_ loud "HE'S SO BLACK!". the man started turtling into his shirt bc he was so embarrassed. to whoever that was, if you're reading this; i am so sorry
Hey man, you never know
Damn that’s deep
But what if…….
19:30 reminds me of the show Arrested Development. Some of the main characters adopt a kid from Korea and he doesn't speak English. He kept greeting the family by saying "annyeong" which is the Korean word for "hello" so they thought that his name was "Annyong" and that's what they called him.
Hello annyeong
(Hello, hello.)
A few years ago my mom was talking to her uncle, wishing him a happy birthday. She asked how old her was turning and he answered "the good year. " I chuckled and then had to explain to my 50yo mother what he meant.
What did it mean?
@@pugsquad1926 Im assuming 69
@@Samurai_Spirit23 yeah
Though I'm not sure how much if that he was actually doing... Considering he has 15 kids between him and his ten (ex) wives/gfs
@@DPWFGHe-He has *how many kids?!*
@@umangsheel7819 15 last time I checked, but that was 17 year ago
I have declared more than once that I was running away from home. I've never followed through with it and I don't remember any of the reasons, but the plan I made the first time sticks in my memory. There was a town forest my class would go to on field trips with a nice clearing. I would bring along a steak knife I could hunt with, and get water from a nearby spring. I'd make a lean-to out of fallen wood and I could show it to all of my classmates when we went on our monthly field trip to the town forest because I was still planning to go to school.
As a kid myself, I am very stupid and I love it
Same
Seece?
i got smart too fast
i was also a tiny lil psychopath and surprised i didnt grow up to be a murderer
sounds like disease likeness to me@@DerangedPacman
Wait, your account is 13 years old, how can you be a kid?
My dog is 17, and no longer wishes to hang out with anyone. She has reached that, leave me the hell alone age, and I think.shes earned it.
When my brother was younger, he used to stand on the coffee table in the living room and dance in front of the window. Completely naked. Our window looked out across the driveway onto the pavement outside which people walked up and down every day, so anyone could have seen him. He did this repeatedly for a few years until he was maybe about 8 or so. He would laugh and avoid us as we tried to grab hold of him to drag him out of the view of the window
Bro he was living the life bro. Whenever i go dance in front of the window it’s always like No Officer I wasn’t naked… i had socks on
Just thinking about that makes me feel traumatised
he's just doing the discord mods a service
The Disney one reminds me of when I was a kid and my parents took us to Disney World for my sister's 5th birthday, but for some reason the "going to Disney" thing didn't click for me. I straight up thought we went to Disney as like, a pit stop to use the bathroom before heading home until my dad came back w the hotel keys and was like "??? No? We passed multiple bathrooms here why would we do that?"
The thumbnail 💀
"I wouldnt let her drink the windex"
Early btw posted 2 min ago
It’s so damn true tho
Or bleach, or liminol, or pledge, or draino, cleaning products are hella toxic, especially the coloured ones...
My little brother was born when I was two, and for a while I was convinced his name was "baby" or "brother" or smth like that because my parents always referred to him as "your brother" or "the baby" lol.
10:43 Mom in the morning, and mom after school.
Pretty obvious, man!
Following his advice I no longer keep my cleaning products under the sink, I keep them in the overhead cabinet and the drinks under the sink. This will never have repercussions.
A couple of my childhood stories:
Put bubble bath, almost an entire gallon, into the tank of the toilet and flushed it...
Went to take a drink from my parents' bottle of pepsi and was told only a sip, so i spit some back into the bottle with some cheeseburger i was eating (got to keep the rest)
As a Gen Z with a gen alpha younger sibling, im TERRIFIED for whats in store for me in the next couple years. I DON'T GET IT MAN, WTF IS A SKIBIDI TOILET???
yeah my brother is gen alpha and im so genuinely scared to click on any links he sends me
I'm pretty sure skibidi toilet is a gmod shitpost thing
As if we didn't grow up with stupid shit. Nyan cat, crazy frog, harlem shake, the gummy bear song, fucking planking? Nah the kids are fine
And we had gmod shit posts in our time too. You're just getting old.
Ah allow me to explain my dear Gen Z friend
Pure art
The one thing that is strikingly common among kids is that they don't understand the concept of perspective. They only see things from their own view and take things very literal. That's why dad jokes are timeless.
This is a story my mom told me as I don't remember it:
When I was in 2nd grade (8) I had a substitute teacher for (apparently) the first time. All the up until then, I'd been respectful of teachers and adults in general but I got frustrated with this substitute because she was "doing things wrong" and not the way our real teacher would do it. I kept correcting her and she kept telling me not to interrupt/correct her, and I finally said something along the lines of "Well if you don't know what you're doing you need to ask someone who does" She got pissed at me and sent me to the principle's office who promptly called my mom. The principle actually thought the whole thing was hilarious and told my mom it wasn't a big deal and that he'd just hold onto me for the rest of the day because the substitute wasn't going "understand" me like the rest of the staff did. (I guess I was a handful, or maybe too smart for my own good?)
When my mom came to get me at the end of the day she had to explain to me that I had to respect ALL adults "even when you THINK they don't know as much as you." This apparently took a lot of convincing because I told her that didn't sound right but after a lot of back and forth I finally said something along the lines of "okay, well since you always seem to know what you're talking about, I'll believe you this time."
I honestly remember none of this but apparently I was an "interesting" child 🤣
Routine, when broken: *_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA_*
Sounds like you were a spunky kid who didn't appreciate nonsense when they saw it. Kudos
What even is skibidi toilet
@@JayMoonShortsbrainrot series made in source film maker (SFM)
As the omnivorous creatures they are, ducks are, indeed, predators.
Nasty little buggers. Can't trust them.
Honestly I always expect videos of this subreddit to just be
“Grr how dare small children with developing minds and no experience do the world around them not know literally everything!! Grr!!”
And then it’s just Parents telling funny stories about their kids being kids.
It’s kinda nice.
parents?
@@AegisGaming99yeah
yeah sure but the roblox one is VILE
Well you’d think you’d eventually learn
0:35
would've immediately hit him with
"Yeah, college doesn't teach you a lot of important things"
Thought I'd share one of mine, when I was a little kid, maybe 6-8 my family and I went to this pizza place we were all sitting around a table with friends when a duo of cops walked in in uniform and I very loudly asked my Mom "What are they doing in here, this isn't a doughnut shop!"
I've been stupid since I was a little kid. I remember playing with my toys and getting confused about where one of them is, and looking around until I realize it's in my hand.
I sometimes do that with my phone lol
That's just a human thing. I've seen a mom do it with her baby.
Done it with my lighter. Looked for the lighter while using the lighter (yes, the same one I was looking for) as a light source.
😂
It's not sutpidity is efficency
20:47 I actually did this in my church because it was cold outside but me & my sister wanted to play in the sandpit outside. So, we used the toy wheelbarrow to fill the classroom we were in with sand. Took 3 hours to clean & the reverend was having fun, from what my mom said
I know for a *_fact_* that painting the fence with water would have kept me entertained for *hours* as a kid
Damien, it’s always nice to hear your voice.
My dad: "Why are you still awake?"
6 year old me closely examining the door: "I was just wondering if door knobs were the same material as skateboard trucks"
I was not a smart child
Skateboard trucks?
@@STATIC-dz8iv Like I said, I was not a smart child
@@Shinyspddmn i can tell.
Regarding the allowance thing, I graduated in 2017 and had a classmate in highschool that decided that to smash her brand new laptop because her dad got the wrong color. She also totaled his big fancy work truck because they had to take $80 from her $800 something bi-weekly allowance to pay her phone bill. She also would smash her phone any time there was a newer model even if her phone was barely a week old. I don't understand how people can be ok with that kind of behavior
Oh no that’s not stupidity that’s being spoiled
The thing my mother did was teach me how to make spaghetti a few months before we got our puppy so she could spend time with our puppy while I cook dinner 😂 I honestly can’t even be mad that’s like the funniest trick that’s been played on me. And I do enjoy making dinner because apparently I do it better than her.
I remember this story my mother used to tell me from when I was a toddler.
We were in the meat isle of the grocery store, where we regularly went because I really liked eating ham by itself and they gave out free samples.
I was sitting in the shopping cart, eating the ham as we were leaving the area.
I had eaten about half of that piece of ham when I decided that I didn't want it anymore. I threw it.
It landed in some random lady's purse.
My mother didn't know what to do-
It would be embarrassing to just go over there and say 'Hey, my child just threw ham into your purse.'
If she tried to take it out herself it would look as though she were stealing.
So, she just walked away, absolutely mortified.
To this day I still wonder what that woman's reaction was when she went home, opened her purse and found a half-eaten piece of ham inside.
I have many horror stories from when I was a kid. One of my favorites was the time I was about three or four and I told my mother that I was running away. She didn't believe me at first, but when she couldn't find me over a half hour later, she got the whole neighborhood to look for me. Came home an hour or so later and found me under the bathroom sink with a snack and a spare diaper "in case I needed it".
Lmao that is such a childhood story 💀
Apparently when I was I child I was convinced that all guys were named Josh. This apparently lead to the funny occurrence of me telling my older brother, “(Brother’s name which is not Josh), you’re Josh!”
I also ran around the backyard on all fours butt-naked in the rain pretending to be a wolf. Fun stuff
3:35 - And this is why parents you do NOT have your payment credentials SAVED in ANY online ordering system. They have to be either put in separately, or hidden behind a 2FA + 16 digit password so even if they get past the 2FA, they arent going to get past the password.
Yup, Jobby is scottish slang for poop if anyone cares to know 😅
Ah ok lol
16:30 Ha, my babysitter told me that a red dot would appear on my forehead if I told a lie. Turning away or trying to cover my forehead then became a dead giveaway. I only started getting suspicious when I realized I could never see it for myself.
Apparently, when I was too little to remember, I once drank the salsa right out of the bowl at a Mexican restaurant.
This is the only correct way to eat salsa.
In the 60s, my grandma got in a taxi with all of her kids. The driver was black, and it was the first time the children saw a black person. One of my aunts, who was 4 years old, said, “Mommy, why is that man so dirty?”
It still haunts my grandma to this day
1:20 This story is less "kids are stupid" and more "this is why religious repression has no place in a school environment"
7:13 actually, ducks don't really like bread. I tried offering bread to our ducks and they acted like it was an inanimate object. But, giving them a roach, slug, or cricket, they eat it super fast. So that means ducks are predators to insects. However, ducks are classified as prey. 🤓
I'mma quote Good Omens, the show, and just... "FROZEN PEAS!!".
Which I would have thought was worse, aren't they technically a choking hazard?
Who asked?
@@robotschontovar1981 It's good to know...! Just because you don't care...!
@@robotschontovar1981 Who asked for your input? Huh? Riddle me that.
Jk Jk its alright.
8:15 when my younger sister was really young. Her favorite food was bacon and her favorite animal was pig. Piglets specifically. And i remember the moment i told her that bacon came from pigs. I remember where i was and what i was doing and this is probably 20 or more years ago, because she cried and cried. It was hilarious
“I’m gonna need more carrots” needs to be a motivational poster
At 11, I was a pillow for Halloween. A pillowcase doubled as my candy bag.
I remember one time my family lived near some Hispanic neighbors. I remember trick or treating and when i got candy from them, I said "thanks, Mexicans"
4:40 reminds me of when my cousin and I were kids (probably 6-7?) and she got mad at me while we were pretending we owned and rode horses, because the breed of my make believe horse was "too fancy" 😑
6:48 the keeping it and giving the pieces is actually perfect.
Perfect if you don't like the kid
@@JadeHakola it’s a punishment that actually teaches a valuable lesson without being harsh it’s perfect
12:34 That my parents bribed the school to get me into the honors math class. Had started the semester in the regular math class despite my test placing me in the honors math class. My folks called up the school and learned it was because they had overfilled the class and had to cut some students. Long story short, the next day I was in the correct class. The rumor started and classmates tried picking on me. I pointed out that I scored higher than half of them. Still didn’t stop the rumor.
4:55 could be worse. I went as a zipper. Twice
7:06 this reminds me of when my little brother once woke me up late at night to ask me if snakes have butts since they lay eggs
I don't like kids and I'm not gonna have any, but these stories are golden. I'm rolling.
Also Damien has the best voice and the best laugh, always happy when does a vid.
20:57 I believe that was the only time Daniel's mom ever freaked out on him too lol
That mj bout to say sheshe 6:14
**What is that "one thing" you did as a child that still gets brought up to this day?**
>> Be me
> 9 years old
> Brought back cookies from Grandma Sherry's
> Thinks "everything's better with sauce"
> Puts hot sauce on a cookie
> My mom won't let it go. That was 2009. Plz help.
20:34 - This is more of an "engineers are f*cking stupid" moment, then a "kids" one.
Also. That duck fanart. That's some genious sh*t. If I was into tattoos, I'd get a tattoo of that.
That one thing I did as a kid that keeps getting brought up is when I was too young to speak I had gone over to the neighbors yard and threw a bunch of their stuff into their pool cuz if made a cool “kerplunk” sound. By the time my Parents figured out where I was I had thrown all the hand held garden tools, the drinking glasses left on a near by table, rolled a bowling ball they owned and their brand new state of the art Cordless Telephone. (Yea, it was that long ago.)
13:41 My voice cracked when I was talking to my 4yo son. I said, "Sorry, I have a frog in my throat." Wide eyed with expectant anticipation he squealed, "let me see!"
i have never heard anyone say "i have a frog in my throat"
@@admiralensin. I'll alert the news
@@admiralensin.Have you been living under a rock??? In all seriousness, "frog in my throat" means "I have something caught in my throat."
@@Intelligence_Core3 I know what it means, but I haven't ever seen anyone actually use it.
I'm so glad I'm staying child-free, my brain couldn't handle this.
Always a good day when daimien narrates a vid
Edit: HOLY COW IM FAMOUS
I love that Daimien is back.
emkay posts* every narrator is the best
Damien the goat 🐐
Every time I see that emkay ĥas posted I get so happy.
@@Actuallygoawaycertified
I will comment this as much as possible. DO NOT FEED DUCKS BREAD. IT ISNT GOOD FOR THEM
Is that how the duck got 4 feet?
Source this isn't like adopt don't shop
@@timohara7717 it contains no nutrients and way too much salt. Just think of it " human food isnt for ducks"
What about crackers? Picture of a piece of bread? Severed toe of a hobo? (I washed it first.)
shellfish is also bad too right only insects and plants?@@veryyelloo4130
1:35 i literally thought that to get pregnant a woman had to just lie closely to the man, i had been believing it up to 14 years. I knew what sex is (kinda), but never thought you had to do it to impregnate a woman
Reminds me of when I drew two ducks kissing then told teachers they were having sex. I thought that's what sex was at the time. My parents were called and everything
For me, it was the opposite - I thought $€x was done *only* for reproduction.
I knew what s3x was, but I didn’t know people did it for any reason other than to have children, so I was confused why some other types other than the type that would get you pregnant even existed.
As someone who did actually study dragons in college, I can tell you with absolute certainty that no, dragons can not fart fire. For one, not all species of dragons have the necessary parts to produce fire and the few breeds that do only have the fire trigger in the upper half of the body between the base of the neck to the roof of their mouth. Now, if the dragon happened to be farting near an open flame, that might result in a brief fireball but that's not a natural occurrence.
I was drawing with kids at my job after they finished homework. And one of them asked to draw me, she was in middle school and I thought we had a good relationship so I said “sure!” And she started off nice enough, then she started tearing into me “gotta get those black heads on your nose and mustache” and gave it to me with a huge ass grin.
Tbf when she noticed my feelings were hurt she said “oh, sorry, I was just trying to be funny, your actually really pretty” and I said “I get it, thanks for the apology” and we continued, middle schoolers can be just as dumb as toddlers, and they deserve the same amount of grace
16:20 That is legendary, imagine if my parents saw this and I was there, i'd be laughing my butt off so hard.
when I was a kid, I went walking around my neighborhood in my monster high slippers because I thought it was peak fashion
my dad warned me I'd slip but I went anyway
everything was okay until my foot got caught in a drain.. or I should say my whole leg
my dad had to shimmy me out and my skin was completely scraped from my knee down
the adrenaline allowed me some peace as the pain didn't set in until I got sprayed with antibacterial solutions at home
I was still crying my eyes out though.. why?
my slipper got caught too and I was NOT gonna lose my fuckin monster high slippers
the people: there is hunger and earthquakes and floods, what should we do?
also the people: mabye we should revolt?
the people again: good idea.
9:13 Reminds me of when I first got diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome. The doctor told me cheese is usually the worst culprit for complications relating to IBS and I was really sad about it, then proceeded to go home and eat a grilled cheese.
ITS THE MUFFIN MANNNN
2:19
abortion time
6:21
NO WAY ITS MICHELLE SHALLON
6:22 Mikael Jackinson more like....
Nah thats Michelle Johnson💀
Apparently as a little kid, probably pre-elementary, I wouldn't play with my toys very often. Instead, I chose the pack of plastic water bottles. I would lime them up in a circle surrounding me and wait for someone to come knock the bottles over. I would giggle, put them back, and then take them out to repeat the cycle.
The thing that still gets brought up today is when I was with my dad and he was sitting down but I was standing. I decided, because he's my dad, he must be invincible, so I started play punching at him. Luckily he has good reaction time and caught my hand, I used my other hand and he caught it. Logically the next step was to start kicking him, so I did, but he used his feet to stop mine. The only other thing I could do now was use my head, so I yelled "I STILL GOT THIS HAND!" and proceeded to headbutt my very own father right in the spot that I came from. (I hit him in the nuts) he instantly let go of my hands and shielded his weak spot. I had won that battle that day.
10:07 when i saw this i remembered i was describing my brother to one of my friends, i said "He's *black* he's tall, black hair" etc, and some random white kid came up to me and was like "UmM, CaLLiNg SoMeBoDy bLaCK iS rAciST"
I'm still terrified of needles and I'm damn near 40.
Same and I'm a decade under.
Thank heck for nasal sprays, seem to becoming a lot more common now we're convincing doctors we're terrified of the NEEDLES and not the actual medicine. Heck I'd drink the stuff or take a soaked sugar cube but apparently that's too old-fashioned.
(At least in my case, it seems, only took them 25+ years to believe me after being my lifelong GP.)
We all are
@@bashydaggett We all are what? Over 40? Not everybody has panic attacks about needles XD Might get an ick but that's not fear.
at least you don't have to give your self a shot every time you eat!
Diabetic? @@JoeMama17779
Whenever I play sword-fighting with my little sister, I keep the imagination going. I pretend to have lost whatever limb she "cut off" with her foam sword and fake my own death if she "cuts off" my head or "stabs" me in the stomach. Meanwhile, I do the same thing back to her and she just goes "I'm electric so I don't get hurt." Then I go "HOW DOES BEING ELECTRIC MAKE YOU INVINCIBLE?!"
One time, I was complaining about it being unfair and she just went "How about we both be electric?" And I stared at her because WHAT'S THE POINT OF A PRETEND SWORD-FIGHT IF NEITHER OF US CAN GET PRETEND-HURT?!
10:35 My guess is 'ugly' mom is when she has no makeup and maybe is tired or just throws her hair up.
'Pretty' mom is her having her makeup and hair done
5:55 yeah lol my little brother is also clueless as to why we always say nice when we see 69, he asked why it was funny and i just told him "the internet told me it was funny." still clueless
also tbf i was also clueless as to why 69 was nice when i was younger.
pls explain
10:25 Ew Matt Walsh. I too would hide if that was my dad
As a kid I had really bad troubles with motion sickness. It took less than 10 minutes in the car for me to vomit. So my mom told me to tell her when I feel unwell. Now this part does not translate well into english. Instead of "mommy I'm not well" I said "mommy I'm not in a good mood" with in our language is just an added word at the end. She replied with "so what? What am I supposed to do about that? Yeah you can be in a bad mood, I don't care (jokingly)", to me saying that multiple times. When I finally threw up she asked my why I didn't say something. This story will live on forever!
7:06 While ducks aren't carnivores, they are sexual predators. I will not elaborate further
They also eat various small fish, insects and sometimes worms and grubs. So, they can be considered predators anyway. They are omnivores.
I went into the video not expecting anything much, but I laughed so hard at some of these 😂😂😂