I'm a 27 year old woman and have travelled a lot of places by myself! I've done Japan twice now and it's incredible. It's definitely scary the first time but it is SO LIBERATING!
To the question about the husband struggling to open up to his wife about things that bother him, I understand that. In the past, I was also someone who let negative emotions go unresolved and become bottled up until it explodes. It could very well be a product of flawed understandings of masculinity that men are supposed to "take it" because I think there is a hidden metric of this person asking, "Is this particular annoyance today worth potentially getting into an argument over if I say the wrong thing and don't properly express myself?" When it happens the first time, the answer to that question is usually no, that the annoyance in question is rather trivial and not worth addressing. But here's the kicker, because it goes unaddressed, when a simple conversation would have nipped it in the bud, those feelings are allowed to ferment and bubble under the surface until one annoyance becomes two, then four, then eight, and so on until the pressure just becomes too much. For me, what helps in opening up about my feelings to prevent such a cascading effect of pressures mounting involves really understanding the why behind the feelings, to really unpack why something bothers me, so that I can craft an appropriate script to discuss the issue. And in all honesty, actually taking the time to write down these thoughts, or think them aloud in a place of solitude, is a great sanity check for someone to unpack their messy feelings, to read back the words on the page, or the words coming out of your mouth, and see if they truly convey what it is that you're feeling, in the tone that you want to communicate with. Taking time to analyze your feelings, and then rehearsing a potential conversation on the matter, makes it much easier to be more open generally. Communication takes practice, so first try communicating with yourself.
That one situation is very scary, especially since I've heard that a person choking their partner is a major indicator for the relationship ending in murder, almost to the point of inevitability. As in when it escalates, not if.
I do my own laundry all the time now that I've moved out of my mother's, and I've never lost a sock. My mother used to lose my socks. Maybe whoever is in charge of making socks disappear is sexist? Lmao. Also, on the 9/11 thing? Omg, I believed that.I was like, "No way the official story is what happened. Jet fuel DOESN'T melt steel beams! Not standard passenger jet fuel, anyway. SOMETHING HAS TO BE different. Maybe it's as simple as experimental fuel that burned hotter? Idk, but something doesn't add up!" And then finally like a DECADE later, I FINALLY stumbled upon a random video here on UA-cam that had the 1 key piece of info I was missing the whole time. The dude was like, "So, jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams. Sure. But it doesn't HAVE TO!" And then heated up a 1" thick piece of construction-grade steel rebar or whatever, and BENT IT 90 DEGREES WITH ONE FINGER!!! And then was like, "I could do that with 1 finger. Imagine thousands of tons of building. The steel didn't melt. It didn't need to in order to catastrophically fail." And I was just like "...Damn. Why couldn't I have found this back in 2001 or at least 2002 so I wasn't a moron for 10 years?!"
As the son of a mother who was physically abused, he's not changing, and she needs to leave. You aren't wrong for not supporting her in this choice, but it's good that you are standing your ground. I hope her friend sees the truth of her situation and the guy finds help.
Being in an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship is very hard for the person thats knows no better for love. Some people were raised to have a push/pull relationship. Empty promises followed by more abuse. The do need therapy. I find it very hard myself to detach from the trauma bond. And so may she.
My sister unfortunately was In a horrible relationship I did everything I could to help her get out of it after years of trying to help I had to take a step back and stop trying to catch her eventually she did realize he was a monster you can give them all the advice in the world but they need to see it for themselves because they are so brainwashed to love them it's very hard to watch i know it is be there as much as you can for them but don't try to push them to hard i feel like I pushed my sister to hard to leave him and it made her stay more but idk I'm just happy my sister is now back home and safe and no longer with him
If you come home from work every night and you can only give 5%? You probably need a new job. If it's your partner, they either need a new job or they are hiding something from you. Inquire within.
Conspiracy theories are getting out of hand. Or they are applied to too many things that don't really even matter. I think it's mostly just obsession and boredom. But lack of real knowledge is also a real factor. It's easier to make up stuff and feel smart, than actually be informed. And real life often lacks the drama conspiracy theories provide. Hype/panic about AI has also made the conversation worse, because it seems many people think you can just fake just about anything with AI, with a push of a button. Like make a convincing fake Britney - when a multimillion Hollywood production with decades of footage, hordes of artists and cutting edge technology can barely produce a passable young Harrison Ford.
I was in an abusive relationship. It was a different situation than what was discussed here because I, a man, was abused by my girlfriend at the time and it was mostly mental abuse, though there was physical abuse as well. The best help I received was from my friend who lived out of town, he would push against her any time he wanted to spend time with me when he was in town. He didn't ask for much and that was still more than what she was willing to give up. I hated it at the time because when all was said and done, she would spend the next few days yelling at me about it. But it help me realize what was really happening. Normally I would say that if you think that you are in an abusive relationship, you are in an abusive relationship, but this guy has already breached the physical abuse barrier. This should not be an idle matter, it could become a life or death scenario. Especially if there are weapons in the house. OP, you're already very brave to push back on her, but for her own safety, you have to keep going. Nothing about this is okay and you have to get her out of there. As someone who has been through it and is now happily married, she'll hate it for a time, but she will thank you when it's over. Good luck.
I'm a 27 year old woman and have travelled a lot of places by myself! I've done Japan twice now and it's incredible. It's definitely scary the first time but it is SO LIBERATING!
To the question about the husband struggling to open up to his wife about things that bother him, I understand that. In the past, I was also someone who let negative emotions go unresolved and become bottled up until it explodes. It could very well be a product of flawed understandings of masculinity that men are supposed to "take it" because I think there is a hidden metric of this person asking, "Is this particular annoyance today worth potentially getting into an argument over if I say the wrong thing and don't properly express myself?" When it happens the first time, the answer to that question is usually no, that the annoyance in question is rather trivial and not worth addressing. But here's the kicker, because it goes unaddressed, when a simple conversation would have nipped it in the bud, those feelings are allowed to ferment and bubble under the surface until one annoyance becomes two, then four, then eight, and so on until the pressure just becomes too much.
For me, what helps in opening up about my feelings to prevent such a cascading effect of pressures mounting involves really understanding the why behind the feelings, to really unpack why something bothers me, so that I can craft an appropriate script to discuss the issue. And in all honesty, actually taking the time to write down these thoughts, or think them aloud in a place of solitude, is a great sanity check for someone to unpack their messy feelings, to read back the words on the page, or the words coming out of your mouth, and see if they truly convey what it is that you're feeling, in the tone that you want to communicate with. Taking time to analyze your feelings, and then rehearsing a potential conversation on the matter, makes it much easier to be more open generally. Communication takes practice, so first try communicating with yourself.
That one situation is very scary, especially since I've heard that a person choking their partner is a major indicator for the relationship ending in murder, almost to the point of inevitability. As in when it escalates, not if.
I do my own laundry all the time now that I've moved out of my mother's, and I've never lost a sock. My mother used to lose my socks. Maybe whoever is in charge of making socks disappear is sexist? Lmao.
Also, on the 9/11 thing? Omg, I believed that.I was like, "No way the official story is what happened. Jet fuel DOESN'T melt steel beams! Not standard passenger jet fuel, anyway. SOMETHING HAS TO BE different. Maybe it's as simple as experimental fuel that burned hotter? Idk, but something doesn't add up!" And then finally like a DECADE later, I FINALLY stumbled upon a random video here on UA-cam that had the 1 key piece of info I was missing the whole time. The dude was like, "So, jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams. Sure. But it doesn't HAVE TO!" And then heated up a 1" thick piece of construction-grade steel rebar or whatever, and BENT IT 90 DEGREES WITH ONE FINGER!!! And then was like, "I could do that with 1 finger. Imagine thousands of tons of building. The steel didn't melt. It didn't need to in order to catastrophically fail." And I was just like "...Damn. Why couldn't I have found this back in 2001 or at least 2002 so I wasn't a moron for 10 years?!"
As the son of a mother who was physically abused, he's not changing, and she needs to leave. You aren't wrong for not supporting her in this choice, but it's good that you are standing your ground. I hope her friend sees the truth of her situation and the guy finds help.
Being in an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship is very hard for the person thats knows no better for love. Some people were raised to have a push/pull relationship. Empty promises followed by more abuse. The do need therapy. I find it very hard myself to detach from the trauma bond. And so may she.
Some of my favorite people to watch and listen to 😊
Also, Lindsey I would be very happy to see your plants if you get to post them 🌿🌼🌱🪴
My sister unfortunately was In a horrible relationship I did everything I could to help her get out of it after years of trying to help I had to take a step back and stop trying to catch her eventually she did realize he was a monster you can give them all the advice in the world but they need to see it for themselves because they are so brainwashed to love them it's very hard to watch i know it is be there as much as you can for them but don't try to push them to hard i feel like I pushed my sister to hard to leave him and it made her stay more but idk I'm just happy my sister is now back home and safe and no longer with him
3 of my 4 fav always open members (just missing Charlotte)
If you come home from work every night and you can only give 5%? You probably need a new job. If it's your partner, they either need a new job or they are hiding something from you. Inquire within.
Oh makes sense to have elyse on this. 30 morbid minutes isn't a conspiracy podcast but the association makes sense to part of my brain
Conspiracy theories are getting out of hand. Or they are applied to too many things that don't really even matter. I think it's mostly just obsession and boredom. But lack of real knowledge is also a real factor. It's easier to make up stuff and feel smart, than actually be informed. And real life often lacks the drama conspiracy theories provide. Hype/panic about AI has also made the conversation worse, because it seems many people think you can just fake just about anything with AI, with a push of a button. Like make a convincing fake Britney - when a multimillion Hollywood production with decades of footage, hordes of artists and cutting edge technology can barely produce a passable young Harrison Ford.
This episode gave me a lot to think about
Get her in touch with local dv survivor groups
cowards for not dropping the link for lindz's jeans
the dryer is in in fact, eating your lost socks. if you pull the hub out, you'd be surprised how many socks you find!!
Will Casey Lee Williams ever be on the show? Hope everybody has a good day
I strictly only travel by myself. It's the best way.
I was in an abusive relationship. It was a different situation than what was discussed here because I, a man, was abused by my girlfriend at the time and it was mostly mental abuse, though there was physical abuse as well.
The best help I received was from my friend who lived out of town, he would push against her any time he wanted to spend time with me when he was in town. He didn't ask for much and that was still more than what she was willing to give up. I hated it at the time because when all was said and done, she would spend the next few days yelling at me about it. But it help me realize what was really happening.
Normally I would say that if you think that you are in an abusive relationship, you are in an abusive relationship, but this guy has already breached the physical abuse barrier. This should not be an idle matter, it could become a life or death scenario. Especially if there are weapons in the house.
OP, you're already very brave to push back on her, but for her own safety, you have to keep going. Nothing about this is okay and you have to get her out of there. As someone who has been through it and is now happily married, she'll hate it for a time, but she will thank you when it's over.
Good luck.
First! Also hi and good morning 😊
good morning! hope you have a good day.