@Put The Shovel Down My son has been thinking his girl is using and doing extra things. We all keep thinking he’s just being over the top but he says her behavior is different. Going to the atm a lot more than normal, usually has money but has been getting loans and even gets frustrated when she goes to get money out the atm n he knows about it. She usually speaks to him before she goes to work everyday n on breaks but has been saying she talks to her sister everyday now, she doesn’t eat as much, she always is sniffling n rubbing her nose saying she has allergies, rushes him off the phone alot now when she parks her car saying she’s going in the house or in the store, hasn’t been getting dressed up nice when she sees him like she would but does when she’s not out here with him, having bruises on her saying she’s falling cuz she’s tired and clumsy, had told him she was going to sleep and went out to parties with her cousins that she told him they did drugs in the past and both of them cheat on their men, her eyes have been dilated, he asked her to pee for him so he could pass his drug test and she tried to avoid helping him by trying to leave earlier than normal but he did get her yo give him a few drops of urine maybe an ounce or a bit less. What should we do ? She really has no support besides him she takes care of her kids n the whole families kids. She’s a great woman we just want to help her if he’s right. What should we do to find out what’s wrong? Please help us with any advice or input. God bless you and everyone going through these problems. Any insight or anything would really help. We love this girl but just need to know how to approach it all. I
After they get sober, they're usually able to see it much more clearly. When they're in the middle of addiction, they stay in such a desperate state, they don't take the time to self-reflect in that way.
I think they should hear it after they are sober but in the facility. I don’t see them hearing that because of how bad they feel sometimes. Or how they could just start using again. So it’s hard. But they should be held accountable in classes and therapy. Even being in a rehab can be traumatic for a loved one. ❤
Man from the trauma and PTSD and anxiety from dealing with the addict... I wish I could just escape it too. How nice to be able to hide wish I could hide and not have to take accountability for my actions and run from hell I put myself and loved ones through. Wouldn't it be nice to not have to push through and be the only adult around
Bang on. I learned (as non-addicted relative) that trying to treat an underlying personality disorder or mental health disorder is utterly futile whilst they're using/ addicted. It goes in one ear and out the other- nothing will be retained, and the therapist receives lies as feedback. Great video because mental health often underpins addictions, but can be used as a manipulation ("I am self medicating").
Excellent..I turn the table when this starts..he or she who starts the manipulation and or gaslighting gets it right back to them on their table or in their court..sad as it maybe..this tactic to re-deflect it right back puts the addicted person in a responsible position to admit their own truth.
I spent years running from the mental health issue. I had many sober periods but that would not last. Getting sober for months at a time only to relapse again. It was during my last period of sobriety it was about the 6 month of sobriety and I begin to wonder why don’t I feel better. I am still struggling with everything. My emotions are running my life. Anxiety is unbearable at times and I am sober, no withdrawals. I am just sitting in the living room asking God what is going on, crying uncontrollably. And then something happens, it’s a feeling that I have never felt before. I started to laugh while crying and I knew right then I had to give up and address the elephant on my back, I need to get some therapy. It was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. I knew I had to be completely honest and talk about everything I had been hiding, learn how to deal with the emotions I had suppressed for some 30 years. My therapist was awesome!! He never took any of the lies, manipulation and I could not con him. Drugs and alcohol we not the problem, I was. I I didn’t know how to live make great choices respect boundaries respect people I was selfish and immature had no idea how to be a good father good husband or son. Drugs and alcohol were my only coping mechanisms. They were symptoms of a larger problem. It was like a firefighter put out a couple of smaller fires but leaving the big fire alone, the mental health issues
Wow Greg, you couldn't have said it better! You've got great insight. You're so right, drugs and alcohol are only a symptoms. Your therapist sounds great. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your story.
Put The Shovel Down I remember reading something called man in a hole. He was given a ladder to get out of the hole and he started to dig with the shovel. Moral of the story just having the tools is no help unless you understand how to use them correctly. CBT therapy was life changing for me
I came from Meganeff channel. I really like your channel and I haven’t watch many yet. Thanks so much for all this. I really need this. I am starting the process of divorce because my husband won’t stop lying and Manipulating me over drugs. I have tried for many years for him to get help or we both go and he doesn’t want it. We all know you can’t help someone that doesn’t want the help. I feel bad for our son he doesn’t see him much but I have to make sure he safe. I can’t wait to binge watch more❤️❤️
Hi Kelly, We are so glad to have you here at Put The Shovel Down! We are big believers in family recovery, I hope you find some information here that's helpful and brings you HOPE!
Eileen MacDougall It sure is Eilleen! All 3 of the guys in this video are just great. It shows up just what Recovery makes possible. Thanks for watching! Keep you eye out for part 2.
mazzy maz good question. Thanks for asking. I could never say 💯 without seeing someone, but that is often the case. People Abusing substances have tons of mood swings. Their brain chemicals are all over the place.
mazzy maz honestly, if you think you’re dealing with an active addict or alcoholic, I’d focus on how to get that issue fixed rather than trying to figure how to cope with the side affects.
@@PutTheShovelDown you are right but he doesnt want help. It seems hes happy being an addict ☹ its sad as hes wasting his life away. Whats worse is no one is by his side- parents dont speak to him, siblings dont speak to him, all girlfriends/partners left him, hes single with no kids because of his instability.
In my life and I might be wrong; I am at the place where I will not go down one more rabbit hole. The reality is that the man I have loved and tried to help for forever; may very well die. He will die sooner rather than later. I have had to let go and step away and pray that he chooses to fight. To be real, I was sitting in the dark for months and praying to die. There's a point that they must choose.
You're right Marie, but there are some things you can do to motivate them to be more willing. Here's my playlist on Motivating someone toward recovery. ua-cam.com/video/ED6vqEj6Tv0/v-deo.html
@@tonimarroy9219 hi Toni, I do have a relapse prevention playlist. And other videos for people with addictions, but it really depends on their stage if change. If they don’t think they have a problem and you send them videos, they’ll like get defensive
My husband was put in a psychiatric ward and doped up on all kinds of antipsychotics for 10 days that created more problems because of his addiction to coricidin cold and cough and sleeping pills. He went into psychosis and the psychiatrist thought he might have schizophrenia or bipolar. When we went to a therapist, he took all kinds of tests, and he scored high for ADHD, depression, and anxiety, so he was given anxiety meds and Adderall. That was ok for a while, until the therapist decided not to prescribe him legal meth anymore because he has an ADDICTION problem!! So right back to ccc he went. :( It's been hard. Yes, it felt like we were just dragging him around for help for months and going down rabbit trails when he blamed his anxiety and depression for his using, but the whole time I knew he just wanted to "check out" and liked how it made him feel. It was frustrating because it seemed like he was able to fool our pastor's wife.
U have put every addict into one category u have never lived the life felt the withdrawals spent 15 years around drug addicts is just life were I am from so I think u are very patronising
I don't know what the point was in this comment. The only thing I thought of that seems different in alcohol/marijuana/heroin is that the first two are considered socially acceptable and heroin is not. So it's pretty hard to "hide" behind anything with heroin, it's less likely that anyone is going to buy it that your mental health problem is a valid reason to use heroin. Nevertheless, enablers are going to be there and I believe that my brother attempted to point to his mental health condition as a reason for his heroin use to our sister who lived with him while he was using. After he died from an overdose, my family tried to emphasize that this happened because he was grieving the death of our brother. I thought that sounded enabling itself because it's not like a regular person loses someone they love and decides to start shooting up heroin. Our mother greatly emphasized throughout our childhoods that she had mental health issues (which she was not treating) and alcohol was necessary for her to make it through.
I love these videos but the intros go on quite long, lots of "I'm abouuuut to tell you this" "In this video this willll eventually be told to you." But as someone who lives with an alcoholic I kinda need to watch videos quickly and lots of us don't get much time to ourselves and don't want our SO to see us watching them, so having to keep skipping to try and get to the info is stressful. Maybe but all the info first and then any extra bits at the end, e.g instead of "This method will teach you this and this" going on for 2 mins and THEN giving the method. Say what the method is FIRST then say "what this will do is...." Sorry just constructive criticism!
Addiction is a symptom. Justifications and denial are only one layer and is amplified when treated with tough love..Drug use is dangerous for mental health problems and while getting clean its going to be different for each person almost all mental disorders come before drug use, not the other way around. Poverty, stigmas, trauma, neglect, being ostracized, prejudice, domestic abuse, child sex abuse, lack of available and affordable therapy, neglect, narcissistic abuse and lack of education lead to addiction. A person takes a drug to make up for something missing, what every person, specifically children deserve in the developing stages unconditional love, the need to feel adequate and competent, to feel good about themselves, validation, present and emotionally supportive caretakers, healthy attachments that include adequate protection for all children from predators, and ultimatly teaching every child empathy. We are a long way from a reality like this including all other societies in the world. We like to shift the blame on things such as drugs because it's easier than the effort it would take to fight for adequate protection for all children in the world and what it would take to end prejudice. People don't choose to be addicts. People are suffering. Drugs are used to cope with the suffering not the root cause of it. We are criminalizing many of the suffering. Drugs are used for pain, to not feel so alone, for courage, to feel connected, to feel loved. As a society and as a species and on an individual level I believe we should all do our part in the efforts to make sure these things are not missing in our children's lives so as to lower the amount of suffering in future generations.
I disagree that all addicts come from poor childhoods with trauma etc. I follow a rehab group where the recovering addicts tell their stories and so many of them had good parents and upbringing but just got in with the wrong crowd (the kids that WERE likely neglected) usually around the age of 14 and found this crowd exciting and started on the drugs to fit in. Kids need to find their tribe as they hit the teen years and if it’s a troubled tribe that takes them in, then they are on the same sad path.
Addicts live moment to moment - they need to do what they need to do - its not real badness - like a long term evil scheme . They are just desperate ! Most addicts live in shame , and the lifestyle , it’s so overwhelming , addicts in that regard live in a sort tunnel vision .
Wow...We need to get people to subscribe to your channel. Just the one video alone tells me "You're Good." Yes education is key. I know that I definately didn't want my family and friends educated on the subject and surpised that alot of people arent'.
Anon Omous awwwww shucks. Thank you. What a nice compliment. 🥰. I agree, education is key! Trying to get the right info out there for people who need it. It’s been a little tough, because UA-cam isn’t where people usually look for this kind of info, but people are slowly finding it. Part 2 of this video gets released tomorrow. Can I ask...how’d you come across this video?
@@PutTheShovelDown Wow, well I look for everything on you tube hmm... I came across you by commercial. Im almost sure I have personalized settings off so.. but it could be from prior personalization...idk.
@@anonomous139 Thanks so much for the info. It's good to know what is working and what isn't. Any particular topics you think I should cover for family members? I'm always looking for ideas.
@@PutTheShovelDown yes they should learn little red flags...like for meth youll usually see que tips laying around. .napkins, paper towels cuz they wrap their pipe in those.....uh
Rene Hay hi Rene, that’s a totally valid point. Originally I did have them tittked that way, but then I got feedback that it might put people off from the videos because seeing something labeled part 2,3, etc would make people think they could watch the video without watching the whole series. 🤷♀️. Who knows!! Thanks for taking the time to wade through that confusion and for taking the time to comment!
the irony is her last name is hollingsworth and my mind immediatly went to the character from degrassi. Spoiler: Miles Hollingsworth had a drug problem in the show.
Cut out the personal questions. And, heads up an individual wasn’t an addict past tense. An addict will always be an addict, recovering is the key word. No shame in being a recovering addict.
@@Constructionsuperonsite and you VERY obliviously don’t want to work a program of recovery. Being happy, joyous and free doesn’t coexist with being rude, hateful and immature. It’s alcoholic behavior at its finest actually. Again IJS
Heather Saylon most addiction counselors I know are drug addicts, and there is no such thing as a recovered drug addict. It’s a daily struggle for life
@@Constructionsuperonsite you’re not a professional MHC specialist. As for recovery vs addiction, an addict/alcoholic will always be addict/alcoholic. A.) In active addiction B.) In active recovery. Most commonly discussed in the rooms as if an alcoholic (I use alcoholic to describes both drug and alcohol addicts for several reasons. Primarily bc it’s what I was taught and how I work with my sponsor and sponsees. The foundation of recovery is the 12 steps of AA. As Bill W and Dr Bob deemed if an alcoholic isn’t working a 12 step program daily, they are working on a relapse. You’re correct in their is no such thing as “recovered” in the program bc it’s a program of lifelong action. Basics, work as hard on recovery as you did on getting drunk. Talk to another alcoholic daily, read from the 12 and 12 or Daily Reflection. Many of us need daily meetings as fellowship is integral to recovery. A lot of old timers say if you drank daily, you need to be in a meeting daily. If your not actively working the steps and have over a year, you need to be leading someone through the steps. A daily reminder that the alcoholic with 20 years is just as vulnerable as the alcoholic with 20 days. I’ll always be an alcoholic, but the Grace of God, my higher power and the fellowship of AA I don’t ever have to live that way again. If I follow the program, do the next right thing over and over, remain humble and teachable I have a chances. If I practice these principles in all my affairs, do a daily inventory and ask a fellow alcoholic for help when needed I’m living a program of recovery. No matter how far down the scale we’ve gone or how long we’ve been sober all we have is today. It’s worked pretty well for this alcoholic for 16 years.
🕵️♀️Watch this next: How addicts and alcoholics manipulate their loved ones (part 2) ua-cam.com/video/JagJSFOiSAQ/v-deo.html
@Put The Shovel Down My son has been thinking his girl is using and doing extra things. We all keep thinking he’s just being over the top but he says her behavior is different. Going to the atm a lot more than normal, usually has money but has been getting loans and even gets frustrated when she goes to get money out the atm n he knows about it. She usually speaks to him before she goes to work everyday n on breaks but has been saying she talks to her sister everyday now, she doesn’t eat as much, she always is sniffling n rubbing her nose saying she has allergies, rushes him off the phone alot now when she parks her car saying she’s going in the house or in the store, hasn’t been getting dressed up nice when she sees him like she would but does when she’s not out here with him, having bruises on her saying she’s falling cuz she’s tired and clumsy, had told him she was going to sleep and went out to parties with her cousins that she told him they did drugs in the past and both of them cheat on their men, her eyes have been dilated, he asked her to pee for him so he could pass his drug test and she tried to avoid helping him by trying to leave earlier than normal but he did get her yo give him a few drops of urine maybe an ounce or a bit less. What should we do ? She really has no support besides him she takes care of her kids n the whole families kids. She’s a great woman we just want to help her if he’s right. What should we do to find out what’s wrong? Please help us with any advice or input. God bless you and everyone going through these problems. Any insight or anything would really help. We love this girl but just need to know how to approach it all. I
Do you also deal with sex addiction? Do you have any videos on this for family members? Thanks!
Seriously there needs to be a program for addicts and alcoholics to learn about their abuse and their victims
After they get sober, they're usually able to see it much more clearly. When they're in the middle of addiction, they stay in such a desperate state, they don't take the time to self-reflect in that way.
I think they should hear it after they are sober but in the facility. I don’t see them hearing that because of how bad they feel sometimes. Or how they could just start using again. So it’s hard. But they should be held accountable in classes and therapy. Even being in a rehab can be traumatic for a loved one. ❤
Man from the trauma and PTSD and anxiety from dealing with the addict... I wish I could just escape it too. How nice to be able to hide wish I could hide and not have to take accountability for my actions and run from hell I put myself and loved ones through. Wouldn't it be nice to not have to push through and be the only adult around
Ive learned to say to someone "youre lying" when I know theyre lying to me about something.
Bang on. I learned (as non-addicted relative) that trying to treat an underlying personality disorder or mental health disorder is utterly futile whilst they're using/ addicted. It goes in one ear and out the other- nothing will be retained, and the therapist receives lies as feedback. Great video because mental health often underpins addictions, but can be used as a manipulation ("I am self medicating").
👯♀️We're on the exact same page!
Excellent..I turn the table when this starts..he or she who starts the manipulation and or gaslighting gets it right back to them on their table or in their court..sad as it maybe..this tactic to re-deflect it right back puts the addicted person in a responsible position to admit their own truth.
You got it Sandy! Truth
@@PutTheShovelDown 👍👍
I spent years running from the mental health issue. I had many sober periods but that would not last. Getting sober for months at a time only to relapse again. It was during my last period of sobriety it was about the 6 month of sobriety and I begin to wonder why don’t I feel better. I am still struggling with everything. My emotions are running my life. Anxiety is unbearable at times and I am sober, no withdrawals. I am just sitting in the living room asking God what is going on, crying uncontrollably. And then something happens, it’s a feeling that I have never felt before. I started to laugh while crying and I knew right then I had to give up and address the elephant on my back, I need to get some therapy. It was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. I knew I had to be completely honest and talk about everything I had been hiding, learn how to deal with the emotions I had suppressed for some 30 years. My therapist was awesome!! He never took any of the lies, manipulation and I could not con him. Drugs and alcohol we not the problem, I was. I I didn’t know how to live make great choices respect boundaries respect people I was selfish and immature had no idea how to be a good father good husband or son. Drugs and alcohol were my only coping mechanisms. They were symptoms of a larger problem. It was like a firefighter put out a couple of smaller fires but leaving the big fire alone, the mental health issues
Wow Greg, you couldn't have said it better! You've got great insight. You're so right, drugs and alcohol are only a symptoms. Your therapist sounds great. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your story.
Put The Shovel Down I remember reading something called man in a hole. He was given a ladder to get out of the hole and he started to dig with the shovel. Moral of the story just having the tools is no help unless you understand how to use them correctly. CBT therapy was life changing for me
Also the book, The four Agreements
Greg Daydodge I’ve read for agreements. It’s very deep but good. I haven’t read the other one though, but it sounds good!
@@gregdaydodge4617 so you can now drink in moderation or use drugs if they are not the problem ?
You’re spot-on!👌
Can’t wait to hear part 2-5 of this series!
Thanks Tayler! I always appreciate your support!
I came from Meganeff channel. I really like your channel and I haven’t watch many yet. Thanks so much for all this. I really need this. I am starting the process of divorce because my husband won’t stop lying and Manipulating me over drugs. I have tried for many years for him to get help or we both go and he doesn’t want it. We all know you can’t help someone that doesn’t want the help. I feel bad for our son he doesn’t see him much but I have to make sure he safe. I can’t wait to binge watch more❤️❤️
Hi Kelly, We are so glad to have you here at Put The Shovel Down! We are big believers in family recovery, I hope you find some information here that's helpful and brings you HOPE!
Thank you so much
ua-cam.com/video/8_j5mmBa4mw/v-deo.html
This is Gabor Mate
Anon Omous I’ve read 2 of his books. Live his work. It’s very progressive! I ❤️ his book, In The Realm Of Hungary Ghosts!
It's so nice to see people who've come out of the drug life style.
Eileen MacDougall It sure is Eilleen! All 3 of the guys in this video are just great. It shows up just what Recovery makes possible. Thanks for watching! Keep you eye out for part 2.
Every time my husband talks about his anxiety I know he is going to get another prescription for Xanax and abuse it by eating them by the handfuls.
TY Amber.
So other than an underlying mental health problem, substance abuse that causes their mood swings ?
mazzy maz good question. Thanks for asking. I could never say 💯 without seeing someone, but that is often the case. People Abusing substances have tons of mood swings. Their brain chemicals are all over the place.
@@PutTheShovelDown thank you for commenting ❤. Can I also ask what is the best way to deal with their mood swings and occasional nastiness?
mazzy maz honestly, if you think you’re dealing with an active addict or alcoholic, I’d focus on how to get that issue fixed rather than trying to figure how to cope with the side affects.
@@PutTheShovelDown you are right but he doesnt want help. It seems hes happy being an addict ☹ its sad as hes wasting his life away. Whats worse is no one is by his side- parents dont speak to him, siblings dont speak to him, all girlfriends/partners left him, hes single with no kids because of his instability.
@@PutTheShovelDown London Reel is an incredible Channel this is one of the important videos by Gabor mate. ua-cam.com/video/iKFJ3y0TdYI/v-deo.html
Hello . Love your shirt color. It looks really good on you too.
Keep your eye out for part 2. It’s coming out next week.
Manipulate views on something u really know nothing about
In my life and I might be wrong; I am at the place where I will not go down one more rabbit hole. The reality is that the man I have loved and tried to help for forever; may very well die. He will die sooner rather than later. I have had to let go and step away and pray that he chooses to fight.
To be real, I was sitting in the dark for months and praying to die. There's a point that they must choose.
I completely feel what you are saying and hope that you are well! ✨
That's where I am at too
Problem is can’t treat someone who refuses 😞
You're right Marie, but there are some things you can do to motivate them to be more willing. Here's my playlist on Motivating someone toward recovery. ua-cam.com/video/ED6vqEj6Tv0/v-deo.html
you 're great ! 👍
Thanks, you too!
This is so great. Thanks, Amber!
So glad you enjoyed it Anna Maria!
Less your heart. My born and raised Memphis girl perked up…l wha? Great very timely content.
My son all over , the stupid doctors keep giving him medication even though I told them he is an addict. 😡all It has done is create more problems
unfortunately, this is such a common story😒
I would see a different dr. Or report him.
How old is yourcson?
Is there a session for addict
Hi Toni, are you talking about a counseling session?
Is there something an addict could watch on your video?@@PutTheShovelDown
@@tonimarroy9219 hi Toni, I do have a relapse prevention playlist. And other videos for people with addictions, but it really depends on their stage if change. If they don’t think they have a problem and you send them videos, they’ll like get defensive
Thxs, for taking the time to answer me!
My sister always said she was mentally I’ll she did suffer with her nerves but so do I.
My husband was put in a psychiatric ward and doped up on all kinds of antipsychotics for 10 days that created more problems because of his addiction to coricidin cold and cough and sleeping pills. He went into psychosis and the psychiatrist thought he might have schizophrenia or bipolar. When we went to a therapist, he took all kinds of tests, and he scored high for ADHD, depression, and anxiety, so he was given anxiety meds and Adderall. That was ok for a while, until the therapist decided not to prescribe him legal meth anymore because he has an ADDICTION problem!! So right back to ccc he went. :( It's been hard. Yes, it felt like we were just dragging him around for help for months and going down rabbit trails when he blamed his anxiety and depression for his using, but the whole time I knew he just wanted to "check out" and liked how it made him feel. It was frustrating because it seemed like he was able to fool our pastor's wife.
I've seen this type of situation so many times. It's so unfortunate!
OMG I saw this is my son.
What are common underlying mental health issues for alcoholics?
ADHD, Depression, anxiety, and trauma
In heroin addiction case ... some points are not that easy and true in my opinion..
What would you add or change in this conversation?
U have put every addict into one category u have never lived the life felt the withdrawals spent 15 years around drug addicts is just life were I am from so I think u are very patronising
I don't know what the point was in this comment. The only thing I thought of that seems different in alcohol/marijuana/heroin is that the first two are considered socially acceptable and heroin is not. So it's pretty hard to "hide" behind anything with heroin, it's less likely that anyone is going to buy it that your mental health problem is a valid reason to use heroin. Nevertheless, enablers are going to be there and I believe that my brother attempted to point to his mental health condition as a reason for his heroin use to our sister who lived with him while he was using. After he died from an overdose, my family tried to emphasize that this happened because he was grieving the death of our brother. I thought that sounded enabling itself because it's not like a regular person loses someone they love and decides to start shooting up heroin. Our mother greatly emphasized throughout our childhoods that she had mental health issues (which she was not treating) and alcohol was necessary for her to make it through.
I love these videos but the intros go on quite long, lots of "I'm abouuuut to tell you this" "In this video this willll eventually be told to you." But as someone who lives with an alcoholic I kinda need to watch videos quickly and lots of us don't get much time to ourselves and don't want our SO to see us watching them, so having to keep skipping to try and get to the info is stressful. Maybe but all the info first and then any extra bits at the end, e.g instead of "This method will teach you this and this" going on for 2 mins and THEN giving the method. Say what the method is FIRST then say "what this will do is...." Sorry just constructive criticism!
Thank you for the feedback
The intros are not long at all!!!! Please don’t listen to this jealous person
Addiction is a symptom. Justifications and denial are only one layer and is amplified when treated with tough love..Drug use is dangerous for mental health problems and while getting clean its going to be different for each person almost all mental disorders come before drug use, not the other way around. Poverty, stigmas, trauma, neglect, being ostracized, prejudice, domestic abuse, child sex abuse, lack of available and affordable therapy, neglect, narcissistic abuse and lack of education lead to addiction. A person takes a drug to make up for something missing, what every person, specifically children deserve in the developing stages unconditional love, the need to feel adequate and competent, to feel good about themselves, validation, present and emotionally supportive caretakers, healthy attachments that include adequate protection for all children from predators, and ultimatly teaching every child empathy. We are a long way from a reality like this including all other societies in the world. We like to shift the blame on things such as drugs because it's easier than the effort it would take to fight for adequate protection for all children in the world and what it would take to end prejudice. People don't choose to be addicts. People are suffering. Drugs are used to cope with the suffering not the root cause of it. We are criminalizing many of the suffering. Drugs are used for pain, to not feel so alone, for courage, to feel connected, to feel loved. As a society and as a species and on an individual level I believe we should all do our part in the efforts to make sure these things are not missing in our children's lives so as to lower the amount of suffering in future generations.
I disagree that all addicts come from poor childhoods with trauma etc. I follow a rehab group where the recovering addicts tell their stories and so many of them had good parents and upbringing but just got in with the wrong crowd (the kids that WERE likely neglected) usually around the age of 14 and found this crowd exciting and started on the drugs to fit in. Kids need to find their tribe as they hit the teen years and if it’s a troubled tribe that takes them in, then they are on the same sad path.
These are very intelligent and insightful comments. Thanks for sharing.
Addicts live moment to moment - they need to do what they need to do - its not real badness - like a long term evil scheme . They are just desperate !
Most addicts live in shame , and the lifestyle , it’s so overwhelming , addicts in that regard live in a sort tunnel vision .
Wow...We need to get people to subscribe to your channel. Just the one video alone tells me "You're Good." Yes education is key. I know that I definately didn't want my family and friends educated on the subject and surpised that alot of people arent'.
Anon Omous awwwww shucks. Thank you. What a nice compliment. 🥰. I agree, education is key! Trying to get the right info out there for people who need it. It’s been a little tough, because UA-cam isn’t where people usually look for this kind of info, but people are slowly finding it.
Part 2 of this video gets released tomorrow.
Can I ask...how’d you come across this video?
@@PutTheShovelDown Wow, well I look for everything on you tube hmm... I came across you by commercial. Im almost sure I have personalized settings off so.. but it could be from prior personalization...idk.
@@anonomous139 Thanks so much for the info. It's good to know what is working and what isn't. Any particular topics you think I should cover for family members? I'm always looking for ideas.
@@PutTheShovelDown yes they should learn little red flags...like for meth youll usually see que tips laying around. .napkins, paper towels cuz they wrap their pipe in those.....uh
Anon Omous great suggestion! I’ll definitely make a video on that.
yep yep
Yup, my brother says he uses booze for his migraines.
Watch out for anorexics who blame food disorder eating on 'medical conditions' such as blood sugar/diabetes being a reason to 'monitor' food intake
If u begin your titles with pt1 such n such be much easier to navigate
Rene Hay hi Rene, that’s a totally valid point. Originally I did have them tittked that way, but then I got feedback that it might put people off from the videos because seeing something labeled part 2,3, etc would make people think they could watch the video without watching the whole series. 🤷♀️. Who knows!! Thanks for taking the time to wade through that confusion and for taking the time to comment!
My brother will never get sober
I'm sorry. I have a brother like that, too.
the irony is her last name is hollingsworth and my mind immediatly went to the character from degrassi. Spoiler: Miles Hollingsworth had a drug problem in the show.
were you an addict?
Cut out the personal questions. And, heads up an individual wasn’t an addict past tense. An addict will always be an addict, recovering is the key word. No shame in being a recovering addict.
Heather Saylon no shame in either
Heather Saylon it’s America and I can do what I want
@@Constructionsuperonsite and you VERY obliviously don’t want to work a program of recovery. Being happy, joyous and free doesn’t coexist with being rude, hateful and immature. It’s alcoholic behavior at its finest actually. Again IJS
Heather Saylon your entitled to your opinion
weed? it isn't a drug
Yes it is
🐘😆😆😆😆🐘
because if you weren't one you really have a hard time understanding what is really going on
Are you really on a professional’s channel telling trying to tell her something. Hush now.
Heather Saylon I’m a professional
Heather Saylon most addiction counselors I know are drug addicts, and there is no such thing as a recovered drug addict. It’s a daily struggle for life
Heather Saylon it’s hard for a non addict brain to process that
@@Constructionsuperonsite you’re not a professional MHC specialist.
As for recovery vs addiction, an addict/alcoholic will always be addict/alcoholic. A.) In active addiction B.) In active recovery. Most commonly discussed in the rooms as if an alcoholic (I use alcoholic to describes both drug and alcohol addicts for several reasons. Primarily bc it’s what I was taught and how I work with my sponsor and sponsees.
The foundation of recovery is the 12 steps of AA. As Bill W and Dr Bob deemed if an alcoholic isn’t working a 12 step program daily, they are working on a relapse.
You’re correct in their is no such thing as “recovered” in the program bc it’s a program of lifelong action.
Basics, work as hard on recovery as you did on getting drunk. Talk to another alcoholic daily, read from the 12 and 12 or Daily Reflection. Many of us need daily meetings as fellowship is integral to recovery. A lot of old timers say if you drank daily, you need to be in a meeting daily. If your not actively working the steps and have over a year, you need to be leading someone through the steps. A daily reminder that the alcoholic with 20 years is just as vulnerable as the alcoholic with 20 days. I’ll always be an alcoholic, but the Grace of God, my higher power and the fellowship of AA I don’t ever have to live that way again. If I follow the program, do the next right thing over and over, remain humble and teachable I have a chances. If I practice these principles in all my affairs, do a daily inventory and ask a fellow alcoholic for help when needed I’m living a program of recovery. No matter how far down the scale we’ve gone or how long we’ve been sober all we have is today. It’s worked pretty well for this alcoholic for 16 years.