What is Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)?
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- Опубліковано 26 лип 2024
- I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
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Imagine being a kid trying to go to a parent when they know their parent will never give them what they need.
I was that kid
This is me but idk what diagnosis I get cuz this is for kids
Yes I can
It's no one's fault but those who had inflicted the initial trama
Me I was her.
I had RAD. But in the 60s wasn't talked about. My mother drank with me. I also had FAS. Both my parents were alcoholics. I found a adult when I was 7 that I could trust. She taught me not to have those tantrums and not to hurt others. She had to teach me to have a conscience and to love others. I outgrew it in my teens. I was very lucky I didn't hurt anyone.
So glad you had that guardian angel in your life
Lucky guy. I kinda had the same experience and was placed in a foster family at 5 years old. But only find out I had this at 28. No one ever understood my feelings. Im in therapy now and hope to get better in a few years. But when you find out at a later age its way harder to get over it.
I am somewhere on that spectrum. Last year, I wondered if I suffer from autism. But that was ruled out by an autism expert. So I kept searching. Months ago, I stumbled across the book „Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents“ (Lindsay C. Gibson). It was like someone described my life in almost every sentence of the book.
Life with my parents was an unspeakable horror. What was very confusing to me for a long time was the seemingly contradictory fact that physically, my parents took good care of me. But it felt as if they treated me like an object. I never dared as a small child to seek comfort from my parents. They NEVER struck me as someone I could trust. And, indeed, they were mean, cruel, physically, mentally and emotionally abusive towards me. My father even sexually harassed me. There were no keys allowed in the family bathroom, and my father repeatedly ignored my wish to privacy, to my own room, to my own space.
When I was 12, I was about to „explode“ - there was such an insane buildup of sheer rage in me over all the SHIT my parents were subjecting me to on a daily basis. I was only 12, but I knew, would I have unleashed what was inside me, neither of my parents could have physically stopped me. I decided not to, however out of fear of being singled out in society as someone, who has issues...after all, my horror-parents were well-respected in society, and they had made sure to tell just about everyone bad things about me, almost all of which were not true for years.
AND I did not trust „the outside world“ to help me, either - after all, why had virtually no one seen how I was suffering all this time? Why had no one come to my rescue?
As of now, I am living with almost no friends, have not been in any intimate relationship throughout decades, and am basically uncovering in a painstakingly slow process who I really am, because to a large degree, I don’t know. In meditations, for instance, I can recognize how I have this shell of anger and „frozen“ emotions, that exist just under the surface of my everyday life „facade“.
Looking up this topic on Wikipedia, it becomes obvious rather quickly how the state of research on this condition still is pretty much a joke. So I guess, I‘ll have to keep pioneering much of my way out of this largely on my own, putting together puzzle pieces with for instance the information in this video, and other sources.
It sometimes hurts to see other people happy, joyful, seemingly unburdened. It then looks as if it is from a world I may never be a part of.
You didn't deserve anything you went through and I wish you the best of luck on your journey! Do try to find friends and a support group and may peace be upon you💚✨
I have the same experience. Mdma assisted therapy helped show me who I really am. But I'm still in the process
And always remember that a lot many of us don't feel that we will ever be a part of this world, whenever we see people who are joyful, happy and unburdened. But you also have to realize that this happiness you see can also be a facade. We never really know what's going on in people's lives, only what they choose to show us. The amount of suffering may vary but all humans suffer at some point or another and it's only vital that we be there for each other and for ourselves. This is not to invalidate your suffering at all but just a reminder that you are not going through it all alone🫂💚
I started with that book and then realised two years ago, I am autistic, and that my father was definitely autistic. Not sure about my mum, I think she may have learning disability of some kind.
This explanation of RAD sounds a lot like traits that are normal for autistic people plus trauma. Many, many, many people are ruled out for autism when they actually are autistic, because so many psychologists and psychiatrists don’t understand the range of autistic experience and that many of us are forced how to ‘mask’ from early age.
I have a podcast called Autistic at 40 that you might find helpful. My background is quite similar to yours and I have shared a lot of my sense making through an autistic lens.
You can get rid of those traumas through Accelerated Resolution Therapy. I’ve done traditional therapy and EMDR therapy for years. I made more progress with one ART session than years of regular therapy. I’ve hated myself my entire life without knowing why. That was all uncovered and dealt with that first session. Now I can look in a mirror and actually say I love you to myself. It’s incredible.
I was abused in day care, and I had some of these symptoms as a child. I was selectively mute (only at school, had immense difficulty making words escape my mouth when I was called upon) and scared of my teachers... I was even scared to ask to use the restroom which resulted in a very embarrassing occurrence when I was in kindergarten :/ I was also painfully shy and withdrawn from other kids, and was very serious and inhibited. I can think of one photo that my parents have where I have a very stern facial expression and was virtually unable to pull a smile for the photographer. I had never heard of this disorder, so thanks for making this enlightening video.
Are you me? For a second I thought I was reading something I wrote
rawsammi Hope you're ok,wish I could give you a hug
Ladan Odion I was thinking the same thing.
please look into Complex PTSD instead of RAD.
rawsammi omg this is exactly me!
I wasn't a cheerful kid and I was very scared of my teacher that I often pee myself in kindergarten because I don't want to ask permission to go to the bathroom lol. My parents didn't really care for me when I was little.
But thankfully, I'm 17 now and I think I don't have any serious mental illness except I have committed suicide (but failed), purging episode, and depressed and manic episode but not exactly bipolar. I guess it's just a part of being teenager. But otherwise I function normally at school and home, if anyone want to know if RAD affects adulthood, I think it depends on each person.
I'm a teen that's not diagnosed with RAD but looking at all of the symptoms explains so much about me..
Seeking out interpersonal answers is incredibly self-aware for a teenager, you must be very mature, very inquisitive, very bright or all three.
@@HealingHappyAli pretty common these days among teenagers
Can you make a video about what happens when a child grows up with this disorder without getting any treatment? This definitely sounds like me as a child. I used to literally run away from people and hide when I fell over and got hurt. Now I have social anxiety and depression.
My first 4 years of life was full of emotional and physical neglect. I was born to an alcoholic mother, and later abandoned by that mother to an orphanage that would emotionally and physically neglect me for another 4 years before I was finally adopted, but the damage was already done.
Because of that, I stopped my emotions. Stopped using my emotions. I'm 23 and Iv been diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder, Avoident Attachment Disorder, and Anti-Social Personality Disorder.
Growing up, I never cared to attach myself to anyone or anything. People, pets, friends, family. They were nothing but shallow relationships that I felt I could control if I needed.
Still to this day, I can't feel love, I don't trust strong affections, and I don't trust people. And if I feel as if someone has wronged me, I become violent towards them. I get vengeful.
It takes years for me to even begin trusting people, and even longer to actually feel an attachment to them. I don't feel a strong bond with my own adopted parents, who have cared and loved me since the day they adopted me. Every relationship I have with people feels shallow. There is nothing that is ever really keeping me locked into a relationship.
I work in a preschool for kids with trauma history from abuse/neglect/foster care and a few of them have been diagnosed with RAD. It is interesting to contrast the symptoms of RAD with the disinhibited social engagement disorder because a lot of our kids are overly friendly with strangers. I think the most important thing to remember is that these kids are more than just their labels. It's incredible to see what a stable home, involved parenting and therapy can do for these little guys. Seeing them learn to develop trusting relationships, play and have fun is incredible to watch.
I was almost a year old when I was adopted from an orphanage. My adopted mother used to laugh about how I rarely laughed or smiled, and that I could stare down adults at 1 year old. She was proud because she could take me places and put me in a corner with a few toys and I would sit there and play by myself and not "run around like all the other little heathens". I grew up as an only child and spent almost all my time alone, even at school. I seem to fit many of the diagnosis for RAD and have also been diagnosed as being a Schizoid Personality.
She made light of it because it suited her hands off style instead of wondering why you were closed off smh
My mom brags about how "easy" I was as a toddler
can you make a video about what this looks like once they become adults?
I definitely can! xox
+Kati Morton I need a referral to a therapist in the Chicago area. Do you ever offer sessions on Skype? My email is a.hodapp@yahoo.com.
Im 17, and was diagnosed with it when I was younger, yet it was said that it was acute. Because I was told it was almost non existent, the psychiatrist almost convinced me to drop it and I forgot about the diagnosis. Over the years, RAD is the underlying problem that led me to dependency on substances, to feel belonged. Systems in adults can be very rough, for Im going through it now. The doctors were very wrong since it is EXTREMELY severe in my case. Im currently on my way to improving my life and finally helping myself now that I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. But for adults, it leads to impending feelings of loneliness, less worthlessness, and depression, followed by a need for love and acceptance, that you end up sabotaging unintentionally subconsciously.
It generally looks like Borderline PD or Antisocial PD in adults that weren't treated as children.
YES PLEASE I am now 18 and no one in my family understands this so please
Was diagnosed at 3 years old. I am 22 years old currently and it has ruined my relationship by not taking this diagnosis seriously , thinking that I could handle everything on my own based on being neglected as a child and heavily abused in my time in Foster Care. It made me stone cold on the inside from that adolescent age. I want the love of my life back and I gotta get this right somehow
I hope and pray that you were able to deal with it and are doing better now 💚✨
What relationship did it ruin?
Try emdr maybe. Good luck to you - don't give up on yourself
I found out as an adult I had reactive attachment disorder p. My bio mom was put in prison for sexual abusing a child. My dad was in another state, and he was just as bad. I also was in and out of foster care. I love your channel Katie! Thanks so much for all you do
Im 19 and i dont deal with people. I dont like to talk to anyone. I stay away from situations where I have to talk to people.
Totally RAD dude!
@@scottlee38 Lmao
Me too.I always walk around with headphones just to avoid talking to people.
What's the difference between this and schizoid?
That doesn’t mean you have RAD
Katie, I have been diagnosed by two different therapists with RAD, and I was in therapy for 3 years, only this year have I stopped going. Thank you so much for this video, you have no idea how helpful this was for me, I've shown this to people when they've asked me what it is that I have, and I haven't been able to tell them in person. It makes the whole thing so much easier. Also, to people who are suffering with RAD, I know how it feels, you are not alone, I would recommend CBT, and it will be uncomfortable, you will have to get close and open up, but the earlier you start, the better. People with RAD, I don't know how it will effect me in 10 years time, but right now I am still here and struggle everyday with it, but I'm still here, and I am strong, and I have taught myself self love. You can do this, it's hard, you will feel isolated and want to run away before you'll feel like they'll leave you, but if they're worth it they won't. You're going to be OK.
I had a student that had this. It was so sad. She had been in numerous foster homes and was finally adopted into a home at the age of 12, but was then un-adopted after 2 years because of RAD and the affect it was having on the other children in the home. I just felt so bad for her.
While I admire the intention of this video, RAD was presented as one note. There are two forms of RAD and you seem to be discussing the Inhibited variety. On the opposite end of Inhibited RAD is Disinhibited RAD and it is a terrifying disorder. The behaviors carried out by a child who falls in the Disinhibited RAD category can be detrimental to the development and wellbeing of other children in the home and often leads to extreme caregiver fatigue, isolation due to the child's behaviors, as well anxiety/PTSD/etc. Both types are heartbreaking and treatment success rates are discouragingly low. It's an important illness to understand. Thank you for addressing it! xo
agreed. It needed to be made clear that trauma therapy and individual therapy does not work for children with RAD but makes them worse.
Let's start the conversation! Have you been through something like this or know someone who has? What helped you overcome it? xox
Yes I have experience this. I'm 16 now and I found it helped most by writing it down in the form of poetry.
I'm almost 3 years into my therapy ( I know! Someone who watches you who has a superstar therapist!!) and we've just started talking about this at some sessions- not by name/diagnosis, but just 'putting it out there', so this was super cool to watch, thank you. Love and peace to all X 😏
I read a lot about this and felt like the uninhibited form of the disorder may fit what I am experiencing. Though now I'm not sure anymore, because I am 20 now and still have trouble with "over-attaching" to people before I really know them and experiencing complete helplessness if someone I felt really close to leaves me. Does rad manifest in adults ?
Hi kati! Nice video as always! :) Can you do a video or a series of video about the different perspective used in therapy? And i would also like to know what perspective you are most inclined to!
If I'm out of this disorder what PTDS related disorders I can go along with autism spectrum disorders
I'm 58 and grew up with that .. but it was in the 60s and my brother had so many more problems that no one noticed. I never liked my mom and I finally had to decide that I was stuck and had to get along. I spent all my time in my room and I do not trust anyone. Once a long time ago but he died. And adults I almost got along with my mom intervened. She so wanted to be my go to person. I feel bad for my son .. I know my depression isn't easy.
I've never heard of this disorder before, thank you for the video! love you Kati!!! and I'll always look up to you as a role model because of the difference you're making in our world! You are amazing!! ♡♡♡
I loved this video! I am 15 years old and I have RAD! I was abused for the first couple of years of my life! It is hard! I have to deal with it a lot. There are good days and bad days. But this video was some good insight.
What are you symptoms like?
I have it too im now 23 and wasnt diagnosed till like 20. I was really bad as a child and teenager. I don't hug my parents and feel really weird if i do. Most of the time my parents feel like strangers to me that adopted me. I can't connect with them. They're basically so frustrated with me all the time. I lived on my own since i was 18 since my parent's felt so controlling and i got suicidal a lot. Nowadays i feel so depressed all the time and can't find happiness in much. But as a kid i always did things i shouldn't and as a teenager slept around a lot and later moved in with men quick. When i left my parents i was fine except for now im depressed a lot. When i see my parents i feel more depressed cause my mom judges me all the time and its hard for me to handle.I feel so disconnected from ppl all the time. I lose feelings for ppl quick. One mistake on their side makes me leave them. I just feel so alone all the time and only feel connected to animals
I was badly abused and neglected in my orphanage in Romania, and my counselor is saying I have RAD which is new for me! and I am 30 years old!
@Allie Hamilton im still struggling with my parents and my pet chinchilla lulu pets have helped a lot in forming somewhat legitimate feeling attachments. My mood plays a big factor in it I don't know if its like this for you but I just feel alone and wanna disappear but I don't know I just can't help but feel wrong for feeling that way( this is for example when im having a bad day or feels like most days) im scared to be on my own yet I also don't care I dunno funky monkey
@@stephanielarson731 as a mom of a teen with RAD, just know that your parents probably love you very much. Even if you don’t know how to accept it, they probably do. We try to show our RAD/BPD young adult daughter that we love her. I really do think she loves us too. I think she gets scared of our love and pushes us away. She’s been abandoned a lot so she pushes us away. We will never stop loving her though.
I’m an young adult, and for so long I have wondered what was wrong with me and after lots of research and psychiatrists… attachment disorder has been an eye opener. Based on my childhood I knew that I would be suffering a life-long problem with my mental health. Here’s a back story. Growing up I constantly swapped care givers, I never trusted my mother or came to her when I was being a target of abuse she caught it multiple times but the situation would only get worse.. so I kept it a secret and endured it up until it stopped when I was 12. In the house she had a new boyfriend. They would fight all the time and break things, she’d be so consumed in that relationship or work. When I would cry she would feel like she needs rest rather than to comfort me and the one person I actually talked to/ stayed with sometimes, I didn’t see often.
You could say I was neglected. I wasn’t taught proper hygiene, I always had to do my own hair and it would make me cry because it’d be so difficult. I didn’t finish high school. I wasn’t taught to drive, I had to figure things out on my own and if I didn’t, it would be on me. I’m still figuring things out but there are still things to learn.
In relationships Im always an open book with pages torn out because in case it doesn’t work out, I could just tell myself they never really knew me. I had troubles with trust, jealousy, possessiveness, clinginess, in my partners. Even though I’m very obsessive and completely infatuated I could turn it off like a switch if I needed to. I aim for older, moral, emotional men because in relationships I need stability and big emotions to understand how someone actually feels, If I don’t see these big emotions I assume something else. this is a toxic combination because with my trust issues it only leads to arguments and fights.
As of now I don’t want a relationship because Ive realized that I cannot give the other person the proper love or normality they need. I have to heal more before doing that. I also have no friends by choice, sure I can call someone and ask to hang out but I just don’t, I like being alone and to be honest I love myself a lot. I use social media to get that “validation/praise” and “level of interaction” I need but in real life I’m disinterested.
If anyone can relate just know you’re not alone even if you think you are lol..
I had been RAD when I baby/ kid. Did not trust anyone..survival instinct even as older. Was Not really empathetic. Did not cry. Observed without involvement. Therapy did not help because of lack of trust and talk to me like a baby. I was very smart but not motivation nor entertained only by my father because he was funny to watch. Was in adult abusive relationship. Divorced but Now I still struggle with mental health and at one point addiction ,but have coping skills and anti depressant and therapy. This is a life long struggle not just a childhood disorder.
I can understand how the diagnostic manual can't tell the difference between autism and RAD because the presentations can be very very similar. If not identical. In appearance. But...I can distinctly tell the difference between an autistic meltdown in myself and in a reaction to my trauma. It looks the same to others...but it FEELS different in my body. Autistic does not mean that you aren't social. So...this part needs to change and I suspect will as more people listen to the experiences of autistic individuals and start to understand more about it. I can assure you, from my experience and what I see to be true, one can absolutely be born with an autistic neurobiology and then experience traumatic event(s) in childhood and develop problems with attachment. Autistic people can have very healthy solid attachments. So...that's my thoughts on that. But I do really like this video.
Yeah thought that was a little off.
I like the fact that you shouted out people who have supported your channel, very gracious of you.
I am a survivor of attachment therapy. I was a ward of the state of Washington for 16 years. I was diagnosed RAD at 6 and was in therapy until I finally escaped by running away at the age of 14. They used forced restraint, food control, physical and verbal abuse, sleep deprivation, forced indoctrination, confusion isolation along with many other barbaric techniques. While I had mental issues the way to help me form attachment or to teach me how to trust was not to spend the whole of my childhood terrorizing me on every level they could think possible. This diagnosis is an excuse for sadistic therapist to torture/break children and traffic them . It has taken me most of my natural life to try heal what they did to me in the name of mental health.i found out recently that this method is still wildly practiced and I want to find a way to stop it. There have been deaths from this practice as recently as 2020. Today I am 42 and I still struggle but I am a survivor.
That's horrible. Reminds me of therapy they use to break children off the spectrum... although I am by no means trying to invalidate or compare the disgusting treatment you received. I hope you are able to find some less abusive help at some point
I was never abused in my childhood. My parents took great care to give good parenting. My mother always wanted me to be extra strong to face the world when she would be no more. She made me eat all sorts of foods, made me fight with anyone who would dare to bully me even if they were stronger, made me use my own decision even if they were wrong, and made me learn as many languages as possible as each language had its own essence, made me respect all religion and learn from them. But I have all the symptoms you mentioned of Reactive attachment - I never express any pain, I never seek comfort from others and that makes me happy and secure.
Kati - you are one of the best and most clear and interesting psychology speakers which I have found on UA-cam. Well done!
Great video. Your simple gestures and animated way of presenting the material makes it fun and engaging. Subbed.
This was me exactly as a kid.. im glad there are more available resources now to recognize this... im still the same way as an adult even tho i have a great relationship with my family
I am diagnosis with RAD its hard to live with it and its really hard to keep friendships
S.O.S Leader
I agree😔😞
only my dog is my friend.
ditto... dog is the best friend.. @@Gabrielaalvarezdogmom
I was diagnosed with it but I think it’s gone now, although I domisolate myself from everyone, I also have anger issues and was diagnosed with Tourette when i was younger
The diagnosis is forever?!
Tammy Woods
No,mi don’t have it anymore
I am one of the lucky ones who overcame RAD at 13/14! Thank you for putting this out for others to see.
thank you so much for all you do. I hope you have a good rest of the week 😊
Thank you so much for this video! really glad it's been addressed !
Thank you for spreading awareness, keep on making videos!
What happens to a child with this disorder when they get older? Does it just turn into another disorder or something?
I think it could, if it remains untreated, lead to early trauma related disorders, such as PTSD, dissociative disorders and also children with early attachment trauma are at a very high risk of developing Borderline Personality Disorder.
I've had an attachment trauma when I was younger and I'm 20 now and I've recently been diagnosed with PTSD and a borderline personality accentuation (which is similar to BPD but not as severe)
It honestly stays very much the same if left untreated... but will usually be diagnosed as PTSD or other trauma related diagnosis. xoxo
[I'm not a psychologist I just researched this today] Adults also have it. If it hasn't been treated since early childhood all the subsequent stages of emotional development will be affected. Look up Erik Ericksons theory of emotional development. Attachment and trust are stage 1 and normally develop in infancy. Stage 5 (13-20s) identity, Stage 6 (20s-40s) intimacy vs isolation. By the time you are a teenager you are suppose to have developed a sense of identity. Dissociative Identity Disorder or other disorders may develop in addition to the adult symptoms of reactive attachment disorder - see links for adult symptoms
m.newhealthadvisor.com/Reactive-Attachment-Disorder-in-Adults.html
reactiveattachmentdisorderlife.blogspot.com.au/2008/12/adult-attachment-disorder.html?m=1
Thank you for answering, everyone!
it depends on the person and if they have other mental health problems as well so the answer is it might or it can be this plus something else
others just deal by becoming gothic like i did
this is so interesting! i'd never heard of this disorder before. You learn something everyday and spreading awareness is the best way!
xoxo
I have been in a relationship with a man who seems to have this (lost both parents in early childhood) and it has been the most painful experience of my entire life. Sometimes I think he is a Narcissist but he lack so many behaviors of a narcissist so that diagnosis doesn't really fit.
interesting i was just diagnosed this a month ago and ive been worried for the past year about being a narcissist. Quick tip it doesn't matter what they are its if there willing to get better or change they aren't a narcissist. its very difficult because even the slight things can sometimes have no affect or be extremely hurtful for no reason I believe it really is tied to our mood though I might be different I have adhd as well which makes a difference
This can definitely be mistaken for narcissism, easily
Kati please do a video on adjustment disorder. I was diagnosed with it. I would love to know your thoughts on it. Thank you. Your videos are amazing.
I struggle with all the symptoms of this, but I dont remember much from my childhood. I know my parents were going through a nasty divorce from my conception to 4 years of age where my mom was devastated snd my dad left the picture. I just dont know, and I'm saying this cause I had almost constant household turmoil from 10-17, and I'm pretty certain you can develop RAD at a later age, but since I dont remember my childhood much at all, good or bad memories, I dont know, maybe i was affected before i was 5 but dont remember. I just do know that your relationship with your kids is just as crucial at adolescence too, because since my mom was so hateful and would only show love when she got something out of it and kicking us out at 16 and blatantly hating us and wanting nothing to do with us, but then forgiving her, only to be heartbroken again not long after. I literally csnt show love. Sometimes I want to so bad, I want to tell the people in my life what they mean to me, but I just cant. I cant have a connection, even wearing my nametag at work is vulnerable to me. I cant except help or a favor from anyone, because in my past my mom would make me feel guilty for everything she did for me. Idk I'm not just complaining, I'm saying the relationship I had with my mom who was my only adult figure or caregiver in my life, in my adolescent years greatly greatly greatly affected my present personality and the things I struggle with.
I love this video Katie! I always learn new stuff when watching your video's they really help me thank you.
I am so glad you found it helpful!! xoxo
I wasn’t abused, adopted or traumatised as a younger child but I’ve still got this and thanks to it I’ve driven my friends away. Just for once I wish “go away!” Would come out as “I’m afraid, and I need you right now” and “I hate you!” Would come out as “I love you, but I’m afraid you’ll reject me if I say that”. But my friends don’t get this and I don’t blame them. Living with depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety and RAD is hell and I’m scared. Why did this happen to me?
Ugh this!
My whole life I have been wondering what was wrong with me. After watching this video I just kept check marking everything that was said. I am now confident to seek the help I need.
From another perspective here,
My son has this he lives with my cousin as i couldn't look after him due to server post Natal depression,
I wasn't mentally ready to have him i was alone and i couldn't bond with him properly, although i love him unconditionally it's a tough situation for him and me.
He spent time in foster care where his needs where not being met i genuinely believe this is where the server issues he has stems from because although i was ill myself his needs where met.
I haven't seen him in 5 years his 9 now and were meeting next month I'm terrified, feel guilty and I'm not sure how to answer questions or hold a conversation with him in fear of upsetting him if i say the wrong thing. If j could turn back time i would in a heartbeat.
yaaaa finally this video I am so excited
I cannot see how based on those criteria autism can be ruled out. Most of those traits are completely normal and typical for autistic children. And most of us have neurodivergent parents who don’t know they’re neurodivergent, and the family isn’t safe or reliable. I definitely meet these criteria. Autistic person with neurodivergent parents.
I knew someone online with RAD. I can say she definitely shocked me. How she behaved, how she was, I didn’t know there was anyone like her, and everyone I’ve known can bond and knowing each other long enough I would even be told secrets. This girl, no. I knew her for a while, online, and the fact that she still wasn’t opening up more was odd to me. And despite all her issues I did grow fond of her over time, normally I don’t have that connection with online people. But at some point I had to explain that she traumatized me and that’s when I got blocked.
I think I was in a class like that as a child. Everyday, a lady would come into my larger class and take me and a few other students to a separate area and I thought it was for kids who had really good reading skills or something. But the more I think back to it, it felt like group therapy, like she was trying to get us to talk and do cognitive exercises. I didn’t talk as a child very much and I want to ask my mom about it. My aunt, when we were talking about my sisters undiagnosed mental health which is very apparent btw, she said she was worried about me as a child as well. So now I’m just very curious but I’m afraid to ask more questions about it because the way people talk about me being quiet makes me feel defensive. Particularly my mom. Or she’ll just say there’s nothing wrong with me.
Thanks for the video, Kati! This is exactly how I was as a child, except I wasn't abused. When I would hurt myself or get sick I would hide it because I was so afraid of comfort. Is this just a normal weird thing? Does anybody else have this experience?
What kind of camera do you film this video with? It is so clear and youtube even usually dulls the quality when I upload. I like your shirt :) Great video! Been following you since you began, but don't always comment. I love to see how much your channel has grown!
I’d love to know too!
Hi Kati! :)
I was wondering if you could make a video about the affects of a sexual assault on a teen vs. sexual abuse (over a longer period of time). Because in so many of your videos you talk about abuse over a larger time span, but not about sexual assault as a single traumatic event. Are the effects similar? Are survivors more likely to have other mental health problems when they are older/adults?
Thanks x
btw love your videos! I'm so happy someone is finally helping to make education about mental health more accessible! :)
Also, another topic (you may have already mentioned this, so in that case nevermind), but can you talk about why depression and anxiety often occur together (or at least why it seems like that...?)
Thanks x
Google CPSTD or complex trauma. Katie does have a video on this.
My little brother has RAD and this video helps thanks so MUCH kati
Our adopted son has rad is now 9 hes been in our home for over 2 years now. we tried pcit, play therapy, group therapy, one on one counseling. We recently stopped because the counselor started seeing what we were seeing and there wasnt any progress being made at all, our son was just taking the language used in counseling sessions and using it in turn to better manipulate others. Counselor said in own words basically you have to want to get helped to be helped and he just wasnt grasping there was anything wrong with his behaviors or lack of empathy for others. Feels like were drowning in behaviors and nobody outside our house understands because hes the best kid to strangers will even hug them and tell them he loves them. I read an article that said that for every year of trauma it takes that plus some to heal. So maybe before hes 18 he will bond with us and function in society.
my nephew has this from being severely neglected, thankfully he is safely with another sister now. we thought it was autism but nope it was all attatchment, shows how important attatchment is
I'm 71 and just been diagnosed with RAD, along with BED and CEN.. is it too late, who knows but it explains a lot of how and why my life has been!!!
i have rad and this video was incrediably helpful thank you
Woah this is up so late.
12am here in Canada 😳
Better late than never though ❤️ love your videos 💜💜💜💜
Oh my gosh, thank you!! I have a loved one who was diagnosed with RAD after her adoption. A lot of people do not know what RAD is so I thank you for making a video on the disorder ( correct term)?
What about adults who have those symptoms. I'm 22 and I meet all of those criteria and I came from a pretty stressful home life...what does that mean? Is there anything like that for adults?
+1
if you are able to function then you should be fine kati talked about it for adults in a past video i think it was the last one she uploaded
it means that you now understand why you might feel the way you do at times
agreed and other stuff
A combination of DBT and Brainspotting therapy would most likely be helpful.
Your not alone
Would you be willing to do a quick overview of the new DSM? What are the main differences between the 4 and 5? Thank you for your important work!
HI Kati. What an awesome work. Thank you. I find your videos very nicely done for general population. In this one you missed C 1 and 2. Perhaps consider mentioning any missed criteria if you need to skip for time constraints. Keep up the good work.
great video as always!💕💕💕
I am so glad you liked it!!! xoxo
As an adult who's been diagnosed with RAD, I know some of the symptom for me are: fear of being killed and eaten, the omnipresent feeling I was going to be killed. I was treated by a PhD psychologist for five years and have been helped tremendously.
I am an adult with severe RAD. Its funny because people have no clue. Its kind of like how people have no idea someone is a narcissist until they pull you into their madness.
Could this happen due to Neglect in Children?
If the Child is isolated and neglected by parents?
Crystal Child oh my, yes of course!!!!!
Absolutely! More often for neglect than other trauma except sexual abuse.
Especially in the first couple years after childbirth
Yep, I got that. Great lets add it to the list of disorders that I have.
thank you so much for always sharing useful information :*
You are so welcome! I am glad you found it helpful :) xoxo
I am a 50 year old man that grew up in foster care from the age of 2 and was unable to connect with anybody. At the age of 4 My social worker decided to start me on piano lessons to help me possibly express myself in the form of Music! As an adult.. I still have Never been able to connect with others in any way, emotionally.. girls or just friends even! I have never had a relationship (especially healthy one) with anyone to this day. My present girlfriend and I fight all the time about it because she is the exact opposite of me. ( She's highly sensitive and emotional) I wish I could connect and bond with her but not happening and getting worse! The way I make her feel makes me not want a relationship period!! I now play piano professionally and even wrote a song about bouncing around in foster homes.. UA-cam Bobby Dee Keys "Foster Child Blues". RAD IS REAL IN ADULTS AND IT SUCKS 😒!!
Rock Dee House Entertainment
Great info! Also, she reminds me of the lady who walked Arthur on the King of Queens.
I’m 22 and had a traumatic childhood and have been diagnosed with RAD
Damn I really be finding out an other problem with me every year depression anxiety body dysmorphia an eating disorder and now attachment issues well makes sense of why I am the way I am
My mother used this disorder to gain coustdy of my daughter who was almost 6. I was a young single mom and she was left with my mother most of the time when I was working to support her. I never believed this diagnosis since she didn't have anything tramatic happen to her when she was in my care, now after six years of court, never seeing a judge and having another daughter I have not seen my oldest in two years due to the emotional, mental and verbal abuse I am subjected to around my mother. it's sad, I feel stuck and there is nothing I can do, my oldest daughter is now 11 and I'm just counting down the years until she is 18, since my mother has her listed as an incapacitated minor, to explain to her why mommy and daddy wasn't there.
bronwyn miller Do consider looking at narcissistic abuse recovery due to your mothers behavior. Search you tube for it. Might really help you bc wow that is abusive towards you.
I use to do caregiving for a company and this 10 year old girl had this and it was awful! Literally is the reason why I stopped doing caregiving. She enjoyed pissing people off, attacking others, would go house to house and lie and beg for money, she would laugh when others would be in pain and would taunt other kids, and would run away on the daily basis. She didn’t care about what could happen to her.
To much helpful
Thank u sooo much
I'm almost 18, but I strongly identify with this. I grew up in an abusive home which i have escaped. Even now whenever i feel upset or hurt I hold in my reactions. If I can't let it go without reacting I find somewhere to hide before I cry, and feel a lot of shame when someone finds me. It makes me feel digusting when people see me upset.
I have this. And it is truly a horrible curse put upon the innocent. It is so unfair.
I'm diagnosed with RAD when i got adopted.. it's an hell for creating a bond with my parents here.. and it's getting worse when I get older.. and it's hard to try be like everyone, or wanna fit in your family where everyone is shutting you out because of the past..
"Helpless to (in) their environment". That chimes with me. And do you know what? First thought was "knee jerk", reactive. This was my thought:- what can an adult do though? Remind my mother of even one "event". Shit people go through. Just to have more people. Love your presentation and break down of RAD. Some of us have to go back to basics.
2:22 I wonder if ‘non threatening situations’ just means the therapist can’t perceive a very real threat because it’s like the first snowflake in an avalanche, and they weren’t there to see the last 20.
Im currently going through RAD flashbacks _ im in a unusual enviroment that triggers 4 year RADS _ im 63_ what a trip.
Interesting ideas
Thanks for the info
i was diagnosed with this when i was 10, I am 13 and still trying to make sense of it. this helped
Helpful thankyou 👏👏👏👏🙋♀️
I was TOLD that when I was a kid, the Dr's wanted to diagnose me as having BPD but I wasn't old enough so they slapped RAD on there til I came of age. I think it all has a lot to do with insurance coverage.
Family therapy consisted of them forcing my mom to forcibly hold me in her lap and it was excruciatingly infuriating for us both
Me. Just my therapist thinks it and I haven't had a diagnosis but it seems extremely clear to me and my family I have and do suffer from this.
Is the attachment issue happens with adult?
I have a diagnosis of reactive attachment disorder. I was neglected at a young age (birth parents abandoning me and sent to an institution). Still affects me to this day.
#KatiFAQ
Can RAD morph into BPD as a person gets older? Or at least be an indicator that the person may be more vulnerable to developing BPD?
I have RAD, and as I got older, I think I got misdiagnosed with BPD. Now I’m much better but I still struggle with wanting to stay or be happy anywhere I am. With me it’s like when I was very young I didn’t know what love was or understand it, and I was missing certain emotions. As I got a bit older things I did out of it hurt me and my family and as I learned love and those missing emotions I also gained more emotion. I’m more emotional than most people, but I also know how to handle it.
Yes. you answer your own question, with that indicator. Get help now.
I am 15 and apparently I have had this since I was a little kid and tbh I didn’t want to believe it but I am listening to this and I relate to it so much I just don’t want what to do 🤷♀️
Hi Kati, I love all your videos and have followed you for a while, I am in my senior year of college for psychology and part of that i owe you a thanks! You get me super interested in the subject. My question is can you do a video on Freud and his therory mostly on oral fixation and how that has factors in eating dissorders and drinking problems. Another video idea I have for you would be to explains some dissorders but give examples of real life examples of how you see these symptoms present in clients, it's my favorite part when my professors do that, for example we were learning about delusions in children and my prof. Brought up how she worked with a kid who thought he was super man and could fly so he tried to jump out the window. Just an idea. I love you work! You are truly an inspiration. #katifaq
It would be great if you did a video about how it affects you in adulthood.
Ive been diagnosed and would like some more understanding of rad and what it brings to the table of life ha..
And like how it affects you moods as an adult
loved this awsome . me and my mam gonna so therapy . is there any disorders about you get attached and not were you can't . but this is awsome .
Thank you so much
Im gonna write my own DSM.
I have so much disorders that it's frustrating. Been in a hospital ward for psychosis, depression, thinking disorder, anxiety and know I have this.
I like the bloopers at the end :D
Oh good!! I don't always have funny ones.. but I did today!!! haha!
Hey Kati, I am recently started studying psychology... Any advice for beginners? Thx
just enjoy!! There are so many specialties and subsets to psychology.. so enjoy and see which parts of it you like, don't like or are most interested in :) Keep an open mind and just enjoy learning :) When I first started studying.. I thought I wanted to work only with children.. but it turned out I didn't enjoy that at all!! haha!! So just learn as much as you can and see what you enjoy most :) xoxo
I was wondering if you could help me as a state facility worker dealing with an individual who might have this with psychotic bipolar and downsyndrome?
My child has rad. I'm at 1:33. Rad can also be where they seek comfort from anyone but mom. When my little was very small, she would let me hold her if she had gotten an owe, but would rarely let me help with it.
I laughed at your comment about insurance. You mentioned that in another video that I've seen.
Here in Britain, the DSM (and similar things) don't seem to be used as much. I wonder if that's because insurance doesn't pay nearly as big a role in the British health-care system.
Great video, you should also add footage of children with RAD to make it easier to visualize i think
Thank u eyeopening