Company Immediately Calls Job Applicant Upon Seeing 'B.A. In Communications' On Résumé
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- Опубліковано 2 кві 2013
- For More Breaking News: www.theonion.com/video
Calling his résumé "exceptional" and "like nothing we've ever seen," the human resources department at local public relations firm Brink & Tiller called 22-year-old job applicant Corey Wilhelm immediately after noticing he had a Bachelor of Arts degree in Communications, sources confirmed Wednesday.
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My B.A. in Psychology has helped me cope with my inability to find a job
OK but this won't stop me from wanting a B.A. in psychology, which I'm sure was your intended effect through use of reverse psychology. Or are you doing a double reverse..? 🤔 Hmm, maybe I don't want one, afterall? 🙄 Is that it? 🤨
@@jovianblue Um no
@@gilchristatchaoue9309 Well might I suggest you give him some oral to level out the rating.
And when you're there you might as well bow and prostrate. Shower him with kisses and flowers.
Im just throwing in suggestions..you know..throw some deeds to back up those words. 'Underrated'. Btw not an overused word at all, cliché? Get outta heeeeere.
Bro how tf did you get a B.A. in psych? Mine was a B.S.
@@jovianblue Getting a degree in psychology is fine, but focus on your ability to both write succinctly and conduct research. That will be valuable in many industries. The degree is one thing but hard skills are key. Combine that with good practical experience or even technical experience (R, SPSS, excel, etc) and you'll be off to a good start
Showed this to my roommate who's two years into a Communications B.A.
He didn't seem to find it as funny as I did.
It’s not that bad, he’ll be very competitive against high school dropouts applying for jobs at fast food joints.
LOL now that’s some funny sh!t right there!
@@Creshex8 Not really, you barely get paid more if you have a degree, and 99% of the relationship is correlation not causation. You have to account for how much better off youd be if you used those 4 years to work a job and stash away $30k/yr so youd have $120k to invest in real estate with.
@@npip99 I'm sorry, but what kind of job straight out of HS allows you to save 30K/yr after rent, groceries, gas, insurance, retirement, etc? If you do the rule of thumb and put 20% of your earnings each month into savings, you would need $150K per year to save 30K each year....
@@Creshex8 Actually places like that avoid college graduates because they assume they'll leave as soon as they find something better or that they'll not apply themselves because they feel it's beneath them.
A B.A. in communications will probably get you office support work, usually through a temp agency.
As a matter of fact most bachelors degrees wont be much better than that.
As someone who holds a B.A. in communication studies and later had to go back to college for a different degree, I approve this message.
Serious question: I have a BA in Philosophy, and was hoping an Master's in Communications would help me get further into the world of nonprofit communications, and maybe Project Management. Do you think that the Master's is as "worthless" as the BA?
@@pepsi5432 Any masters is going to be worth more than the BA equivalent, if you want to work nonprofit comm then it may make sense; the biggest issue I had was graduating into the Great Recession and no relevant work experience in professional comm. An internship may have helped me a lot, but I never pursued one since they were still mostly unpaid at the time. Currently I work in tech and don't do anything primarily dealing with PR/Advertising, so I may not be the best source for your given career path.
Didn't learn your lesson the first time lol?
I'm two years into a bachelor psych degree and am changing to computer science since I've finally come to my senses. Most non-STEM degrees are literal scams, unis know those degrees are worthless but they still sell them. The whole "you have to get a degree to even stand a chance" mentality is pushed by universities and has to lead to mass oversaturation of menial degrees. Degrees should really only exist for specialized fields like in STEM, where you actually need specialized knowledge to get a job. Everything else should be in certificates and diplomas and far cheaper.
@@egg-iu3fe The investment value of a non-STEM degree isn't solely what you're explicitly taught, though. Of course the extent to which this is the case is overrated, but ideally your degree will suggest a lot of other skills that you'd have learned just by putting in the work in that field. I did mine in history and beyond just what I learned and wrote about in school, it implies that I've been trained in the tools a historian would need to be a professional academic (knowing resources to use, digging up all available information, using it to form an argument, etc).
I'm not saying this to compare with anyone else's situation at all; STEM is fantastic if that's what you're inherently interested in, and certainly more lucrative than social sciences and liberal arts, but the latter can also be parlayed into law school if you want, just as STEM can be parlayed into med school, where you can still earn a living doing something you're interested in.
All I'm saying is, there are a lot of options people should consider, including just going straight into the workforce. Of course if you're in the US it's a much different calculation than most of the other countries that give you financial assistance if you want to go.
My B.A. in History has helped me to tell great anecdotes in the break room at Home Depot.
this must be the same wood napoleon's men built the bridge with in 1812 over donube. Wait, what, not again. Chavez did you show up drunk again? I'm trying to finish my microwave burrito man, please stop glaring at me.
Managers at Home Depot make great money.
hey i work at home depot too
@cj dub Lowes forever lol
As a philosophy graduate student I feel like I really contributed to both the profundity and analytic clarity of the discussions in Lowe’s break room. Customers didn’t seem to appreciate my skepticism regarding knowledge of the existence of products though...
I came here to laugh, not to be personally attacked
Your picture seems like your reaction
You're either italian or a big ass nerd
He protec, he attac, but most importantly, he laff
Lol
@@topsykretts2264 Almost
A male HR director, this must be the onion
Or The Office
abdurrahman nashit Toby’s the worst
Correction white male
Armando Silvier what?
I’ve worked at maybe 12 different companies and I just now realized I’ve never met a male HR director.
Laugh all you want, but I actually did graduate from BA Media & Communications with a 2.1 and I did land a job with a prestigious organisation, thank you very much. Now I'm sorry but my break is over and those corridors won't clean themselves!
bros the white house personal cleaning staff 😮
Cs get degrees.
@@duck-cc4cx Assistant to the cleaning staff. Just two more years of probation and he gets his own mop.
🤣
Of course we expect you to intern in an unpaid position for one year. Of the five interns working, only one will be advanced to a paying position after the year is up. And we’ll be hiring five more interns at that time.
"What's wrong with this country? Can't a man walk down the street without being offered a job?"
Smithers
I'd like fries with that.
That made me bust a gut!
@@QueenetBowie you get any sugar around here?
@@QueenetBowie The great thing that most people miss in that Simpsons episode was that Hank Scorpio was a super villian. In that he was really great at being a villian! Btw Sly Fox when you get home there will be another floor added to your house.
this hurt me more than it should have
Communications is useless.
Haha same.
Mad Max And Madi
That’s the joke.
Mad Max And Madi I’m an engineer. Yet All I do is write emails all day. Have meetings. Make phone calls. You can have the best design in your head but if you can’t communicate it to other people, communicate how to get them to work on it, buy it, fight company politics until they accept, etc etc it’ll just remain in your head.
Now I’m not actually sure what they teach in communications but hopefully it is applicable to these real world issues.
@@bigrod1674 You probably will only be able to work in HR and progressively ruin a company by hiring for positions you know nothing about and make everyone else miserable for a living
This is going to make you all feel even more inadequate, but apparently this guy isn't just skilled in Word and Excel. He also holds a valid driving license.
Oh boy, next you'll tell me he took piano lessons as a kid!
Microsoft World**
When I got my first job offer out of college, I didn't even have a driver's license. I immediately started learning how to drive and got a car loan and soon enough, I was commuting to work. Some people don't have much money, you know.
You're joking about this, but it's actually an issue for many other people I'm sure 😁
PowerPoint too. Don't forget...
F*#% me m89
"already have experience in word, excel and powerpoint. We gotta move fast to get this guy." Lmao peak satire of this entire video
Us Boomers can remember losing out on jobs to people because they had those exact "skills".. but I am a wizard with a sliderule, and typewriter.
I wish the people I work with had these skills. I impressed some folks with the SUM function last week.
I feel you. Sometimes it feels like college institutions are entirely oblivious to what is necessary when you're in industry.
Lol highlighted on just about every college graduate’s resumé 😂
Uncommon skills
This man with a degree in communications not picking up his phone is some good irony
_"What we have here is a failure to communicate. Some men you just can't reach :(."_
@@VestinVestin I don't like it any more than you.
Wish I had seen this before college
Did you too go the gender studies route and not communications?
OneRichMofo
I think he meant it would’ve prevented him from wasting his time with college.
@@matthew8153 Well, I'm going out on a limb here, but you probably really enlightened that guy who definitely didn't get the unique interpretation of the posters comment you offered. If not for you, I'd have thought he desired to study communications!
WR102 ka cant tell if that is good or bad
@@adeadlybeastkiller Its a practical degree, so its good.
Well, that settles it. I'm going to do my BA in communications.
I hope that you're not 22 yet.
Isn't that the degree held most by homeless people?
This must have been very painful to watch for anybody with a BA in communications. Ouch!
I would rather have a B.S. from FU.
@William Hutchinson I'd rather have my engineering degree, sorry.
But, is he a "self-starter" and a "people person?"
Omfg 🤣
also a "go-getter", "motivated"
Willing to communicate alone or in a team.
Seriously, why are HR departments so demanding. Like everyone wants these qualifications and I don't even know how to begin to get them...
We're looking for a 'rock star'....
I genuinely cannot guess the HR director’s age. So young yet so old
It's like he aged in every possible way except for the wrinkles.
Interviews age you a LOT.
@@bp56789 Or the secondary sexual characteristics.
And so very genderless.
@@bp56789 His hairline is fine though. It's just his beer belly.
Wow! Four years of Spanish? My school only required three. Talk about going the extra mile!
If he gets some tan he can pass as a Mexican that should open up many new job opportunities for him.
Most colleges require you to take 3 or more Spanish classes to either be considered acceptance or to not have to take the class in college
They should have made the guy's last name be "Lopez" or something like that 😁
@Scribbles Scribbles its mostly for the latter. Its not a requirement to take a language but it REALLY looks good on the transcript (making you a better choice to pick) and if you do 3 years of a language, you dont have to take the class in college (which is less money and time for you)
@Green Giant even 4 years you wouldn't. You can't learn another language from public education when you're 14-18 years old. It's almost impossible unless you're some savant
It's no Modern Dance degree, but still impressive.
@123 456 I think I put that on my resume after my college summer job as a cashier
Lol modern dance degree is at least more or less applicable to teaching dancing. Communications degree on the other hand, unless you're applying to work at a call center..
Employers don't seem to realize that my degree in Underwater Basket Weaving also means I'm SCUBA certified.
What about Jedi degrees?
I graduated from the Jedi Academy
Today, I was attacked by a 7-year-old video.
Can please explain the video to me, I'm Nigerian so a lot of the time I have a hard time understanding the jokes same goes for family guy
@@sipeolusoga5817 It's showing the opposite of the truth. He isn't going to get hired like that. He'll have to send 500 or whatever applications, and HR might still not care about him, other than the coffee shop somewhere far away. That education is at the same time completly trivial to employers, and extremly expensive to get. Like $50 thousand dollars. The scam that the colleges are running on the young of the country? It's completly crazy.
@@Tenebrousable thanks man
@@sipeolusoga5817 College has become a bad joke in the USA with the majority of students getting degrees that do not lead to careers. This parody is mocking the otherwise bright students who wasted four years and tens of thousands of dollars without even looking at future job prospects.
Yes officer, this video right here
My sister got a BA in communications. It enabled her to marry a rich man 20 years her senior!
Thanks college!
Does the degree include a boob job and some make up artistry ?
My friend got a degree, can you, in the social sciences, and she was never able to make any kind of financial Headway until she married a doctor. And now her life is awesome. But the decade spent going for the PhD was worthless for her
That’s an L
brutal
Lol communications degree is just as worthless as a business degree! Go STEM kiddos
Everyone coming here: “Haha this is going to be funny“
Everyone watching this: “Too close to home“
...but I don’t live anywhere near Washington
Joe M.
didn’t know that you spoke for everyone else
i personally found this entertaining
Well my BS in Mathematics isn't doing much for me either so there's that.
Tradesman: *muffled laughter*
I have a magister artium degree in philosophy with a minor in history and a 2nd minor in archaeology. Those are 5 year programs and it only took me like 12 years. I wish I was 22 with a BA in bullshit.
This should come with a warning box for people who are already depressed.
I know 😭😢😂😭
@@ghassanm6640 Ah schizophrenic english, what a beauty!
@@BichaelStevens Quiet, Goldstein
@@franciasii2435 I can't understand your jumbled schizo english. I rate it a solid "Man door car hook car door"/10
@@BichaelStevens that's not even the same person, you cant understand anything lol
My bachelor of science in psychology - including winning an under grad research award - helped me land a terrific job selling mattresses - 7 bucks an hours, under the table. Of course, I had to unload semi trailers full of mattress, by myself, but that was a real character builder!
I wish you success brother. Keep working hard.
But you’re pretty buff. So you got that.
Yes! I too have a BS psychology degree. 😁
Go take over the world with all that character!
Just curious .... do you have a student loan to payback?
LOL, I got a BA in psychology, I'm not even qualified to talk to myself.
Psych also seems to be a very saturated field. No joke, I’d say 1 in every 3 people I talk to in college is a psych major. I would still be happy to have a bachelors degree under my belt though.
I was a psych major but got a science degree not arts. It is heavy in statistics, plus a minor in bioethics, did a bunch of research, volunteer work, and field work. Had great relationships with my profs and got to do things no other person in the program did before. If I went back I would probably do something else, maybe engineering or chemistry, biology is too saturated; but my experience wasn’t the usual boring easy personality classes. Lots of neuro, took masters courses in it and TA’d. My job prospects are okay because I networked and made good relations. Don’t go to university to do what’s easy or fun.
man I didn't even know you could get BA in psychology, I am doing Psychology bachelors too but science... Bs Psychology, is BA Psychology shorter?
@@zaidbutt4992 I just graduated with a BS in psychology, but when looking at grad schools some of them had MAs in psych and others has MSs so I think it more depends on the university and their qualifications.
@@makaylawaters2568 yeah, most universities offer BS and MS in psychology, I think
That hurt because the applicant they are making fun of has a better resume than I do.
Damn. What part is worse? University of Washington is a decent state school but the rest of his resume was just downhill.
@@berksarioz969 6 years of spanish (can barely talk) and 0 years at college newspaper and refused to be treasurer. Employers won’t leave me alone
Maybe an associate degree in communication?
It's been four years I hope your résumé has improved since then.
Boomers are watching this not even realizing that it’s satire. “If he has a firm hand shake, he’s hired on the spot.”
Other great hits: "Why don't you print off 10 copies of your resume and go door-to-door?", and "I started on the top floor of one 10-story office building downtown in my day and walked out the bottom with 6 job offers, what's your excuse?"
Haha boomers amirite
Used to be that way but the people have changed for the worse.
@@yugitrump435 yes, people realized education and experience are required for a more advanced society where word processing isn't a job anymore.
To be fair only a select few went to college back then.
Nowadays morons do it without realising it means zero.
I saw a resume that listed ‘pays attention to detail’ twice.
I had that on my resume and still sent errors and somehow got hired.. I think they paid more attention to where I worked before.
I’m working on a communications degree right now. My dad sent this video to me.
He is showing you the reality.
did you take the hint and change majors?
So how are you shaping up in your new Electric Engineering major?
Switch to business NOW!
He is still pretty sore about that bitchin’ Corvette he really wanted to buy with your tuition money.
This hurts me because I have even less on my resumè
Start a business
Here is what you do. Finish your communications degree, ???, profit.
Sorry but that’s résumé if you’re going to write it out using authentic French accents. Otherwise, you could just use the anglicized spelling: resume.
Don't worry about it brother whatever your experience is you'll be fine I'm 35 years old and I spent over twelve years incarcerated when I first got out a few years back I couldn't get a library card
Mar10 South Park!!
Communications degrees should come with a stack of coupons.
Whys that?
@@3bydacreekside because they're for untalented losers. Useless degree.
@@3bydacreekside because you won't be able to afford anything at full price.
Well I'm kinda like that now :p
Here in 2020, we're having a toilet paper shortage. Those coupons would be very useful.
I got a B.A. in Music and now I sell plants for a living.
But music is supposed to help plants grow. So, you have THAT going for you. Just fine tune (no pun intended) what each plant likes to hear, write it up, get a publisher, and you'll be kicking it in the Carib in no time. Gee, I wish I were you!
They say singing or playing music to plants helps them grow...
should’ve gone for the music ed degree lol
You should meet this guy who got a BSc in Agriculture, and now plays with the Royal Philharmonic.
@@lawrencedoliveiro9104 It always happens that way, doesn't it...
70 years old here. Didn't get this til I read the comments.
More boomers gotta watch this and be explained it's satire.
@@mattg2383 "Back in our day", 10% of people in their early 20s would have had a university or equivalent degree (my degree was from a polytechnic). That was plenty of people, and although good employers would offer better terms to graduates, I assure you it was still competitive, and you had to convince the employer that you would be worth hiring - there were plenty of other graduates they could choose from.
@@davidw1518 10%, oh my, what stiff competition. Unfortunately the job market has gotten much more saturated in the last 40 years not to mention that 40% of young people now have college degrees which makes this video even funnier because a degree is pretty common now😂
@@braydonsmedley5652 typical boomers always trying to make out how bad they had it. pffft.
66 here I remember even my high school part time job required me to have some MARKETABLE skills
I have a Bachelor's in History and an MBA, but I get calls all the time from companies who see that I have four months of sales experience from a good awful sales job I had over a year ago that I got fired from. Sigh
Jeremy M from which university?
Master's degree in history, basically the same. I used to be a guide at a museum while waiting for a research position to open up, now I'm getting calls from tourist agencies all the time but have to apply to like 18 research positions before I get one.
Lux Borealis
My degree’s in accounting but I keep getting calls and emails about call center jobs that pay a third what I make now.
Different degree, but same situation. Hopefully when I finish my Master's program it'll be a different story, but looking at other comments... I'm not too sure.
I have a Law Degree and a B.B.A. (bachelors in business admin), Ivy League.
There hasn’t been a single job opportunity over ~$25k/year (I looked several times per week using multiple resources for about a year) in which I meet qualifications within a 1 hour radius of my home. The opportunities that even remotely fall within my skill set either require a different degree/certification or (usually the case) require several years experience in some unreasonably specific or specialized position.
I currently subcontract for the State. It pays very well, but I commute over 2 hours each way to work, 15-18 hour days (If you include commute time one way) in high mental/physical stress. What’s funny is that I could do the same job if I were a high school dropout. It really just took initiative and an out of the box approach to career choice.
That all being said, I do live deep in rural Appalachia, so I doubt that my situation is a very common thing, to this extent at least.
Either way, our national job market looks pretty grim.
Pfft, wait til they see my B.A. in Psychology
Andrea Kae Can you maybe do a small control group and see what they would think?
I FEEL ATTACKED
I wonder since you have that degree if you could make me a Van Gogh style painting of Sigmund Freud.
Beetlesiri no, I can’t do anything with it
Well damn, the CEO will personally step down and bring your stuff in to his office!!
I know a guy with a masters in philosophy. Hes a janitor, but he is so interesting to talk to.
The Onion also did a skit on a dog walker that was much happier than all his high achieving 'friends'. So......
The worst part is that high school and collegiate staff still recommended communications majors and minors because they say it looks great on a resume. It’s amazing how so many people can have such outdated information.
Well.... When your school hasn't updated its curriculum for past 10 years... Its bound to happen
I feel like a minor would look good as long as you have a legit major
This is what high school counselors make you think the future is like
don't skimp out on the four years of spanish!!! itll really be helpful!!!!!
the 4 years of spanish is so you can learn spanish well enough to become a bilingual call center rep for barely $15 an hour once you realize a bachelors of arts in anything is utterly financially and economically useless in reality
Wo Jak ¿Donde esta la biblioteca?
In a professional setting like engineering Spanish is a huge plus. As significant amount of sub suppliers are located in Mexico and central America for aerospace, automotive and manufacturing companies. Not to mention for ME and QEs that interact with workforce on the floor where half don't speak English. Those 4 yrs in high school will open doors if you paid attention.
@@turkey2003 Because you need fluent advanced level spanish to go "GIVE ME THIS, ESO YES, NOW I GIVE YOU MONEY, DINEROOO MONEYY YES OK THANK YOU BYE" and google translate doesn't exist. And of course because everyone wants to be an "ME" or "QE" in the aerospace and automotive industry and nobody has a job of contacting suppliers
Get real dude, the best you're getting is a low-level dead-end worthless translation position for $15/hr
@@wojak168 a supplier QE or STE job is to specifically deal with suppliers. How do you think the supply chain is managed? Supplier engineers specifically need to approve all suppliers designs and processes before they can be built. Without their signature the supplier is not paid. When there is a new model launch design engineers, ME (mechanical engineer) and QEs (quality engineer) all need to visit suppliers to validate process and tooling. Google translate sucks, especially for technical terms needed to discuss with other engineers. Like I said Spanish will open lots of doors for those in professional setting.
My Communications degree really put me on the map as a construction worker.
Doubtful. I would never hire a college boy for construction. You are under qualified.
You are degree was not useless , communications guys make good radio jockeys . You are useless.
My B.A. in Asian Studies was the key to my wildly successful career as a long haul truck driver.
That’s priceless! 😂 I have a Psychology degree. Am I or was I ever a Therapist? Nope. Shipped horses. Had an Antique business. lol However in my defense I was born in 1960 and at the time going to College was considered Important in my family. My parents and Grandparents had degrees that were for the job / career they would do all their working life. For me and my sister? Not so much. lol
My associates in history and bachelors in political science have prepared me for the constant stream of being told I’m not the right fit for all but the most basic and menial dead end jobs.
Try being the grill dude at McDonalds. You have an awakening. College may suck, but not this bad.
Look into American civil services , look into the American civil services like foreign service officer test , FBI or law enforcement or if you have enough money , you can also go into law.
The Onion should really consider adding a trigger warning... it’s too real
those who need trigger warnings need to be sterilized
Angelus Retards who bite the onion should be sterilized
we have a special fucking butthurt snowflake
YourAverageHikikomori we have a kid who doesn’t know what a joke is
Yeah wow, it's crazy to think they didn't consider that in this, the current year, 2013.
The company I started working for earlier this week took one look at my spreadsheet portfolio just the other day and now I'm being fast-tracked to CEO
What took them so long?
@@afisemenaborevlaka48 can't you see his username? He'll never look at your reply.
@@TheVillainOfTheYear I'm sure he looked at it, but he wont reply. Don't believe everything people state, like, you know ... villain of the year. 😁
“OR...a CEO!” (H3h3)
@@afisemenaborevlaka48 Some people had this weird choice of not getting notification for replies. Like me. Unless I came back to the video and found my comment, I would never know any reply exist.
The other guys in the science department had a joke they used to tell about B.A. grads. Always thought it was a bit mean, but watching this just reminded me of it. What's the difference between an Arts graduate and a pizza? At least a pizza can feed the whole family.
How do you get an art major off of your porch?
Pay for the pizza.
@@pathurd9595 ohhh, the burn...
…. Y’all do realize you can be a STEM major with a BA right?
@@robw9728 Taking a BA in a STEM field is just taking the easy route to graduation.
Both my Bachelors are BS's.
@@joshua43214 This is highly situational. In some universities, there are rigorous BA curriculums (the average BA CS salary at my school is around 100k)
My degree in Anthroplogy leads me to belive this might be satire.
I was thinking of doing anthropology, any advice?
the whole thing has positive aura energy around it but somehow deep inside i feel like crying.
Hahaha
Kyle Farren that other guy spends alot of time on UA-cam, and by the looks of it, he may have actually purchased and read some of the primary literature published by his figurehead. I
His rhetoric is like a copy pasta it's so good, but I know he just shat it out from his own dome. That's what practice and time will do, even BS will come out pretty solid.
The reason you had this recommended in 2019 is because UA-cam has been algorythmacally favoring news organizations.
Little surprise that The Onion made the cut with how insane regular news is.
DirtyAtreyu this was much more real than main stream media will ever tell you.
zissler
Remember when they predicted Gillette coming out with a 5 blade razor?
@@matthew8153 I think if I had a dollar for every time the onion was right, I could buy a good dinner
@@matthew8153 well 30 years ago there were single blades, there were 4 by the time they wrote that article. Was it really that difficult to predict
I love the onion. It makes me happy because the news is so crazy. Real news is fake news. The onion is now more real than real news.
the zoom in on "REFERENCES: Available upon request" was a nice touch, got a few laughs out of me
Yeah that line is so outdated
Liberal arts degrees: The most expensive path to becoming a well-rounded barista.
A well-rounded barista with a paper on French satire, sometimes comes in handy..
I don't think you guys know what liberal arts colleges are lol
@@podefunder Yeah we do; they're a waste of money.
@@McVaio please refer to my comment above,
@@podefunder Please reply to my comment below that.
The cold reality of having a college degree and basic clerical skills. A degree is a status symbol and when everyone has the same status symbol its worthless.
A degree in mathematics signifies very different than a degree in communication.
A raft and an aircraft carrier are both boats, but that's pretty much where the similarity ends.
Amen
@@MrCmon113 Yeah, but which one can you pull with your truck??
@@MrCmon113 i notice how you use a mathematics degree in your example? Are you a fellow math nerd?
"Status symbol" that becomes worthless when everyone has one! My ass, my degree become worthless when I realized that those around me, who didn't even bothered in getting one, were doing way better than I did. And with out the bullshit I went through just to get a fucken job. In fact, the most sucesfull guy I personally know didn't even finished junior high. The school system in this country is a fucken ripped off. The army would have been a way better choice when I was younger but, fuck me for even consider that "looser path when I was a honoroll student in High School.
I have a BA in biology and a BS in biochemistry and I couldn’t find a single good job in my gap year before medical school so it’s just hard out there folks
Bryce Griffin Exactly.
well yes, but also no, because the market for biology majors and biochemistry majors is saturated by failed premeds.
Like, all those freshmen who say they're going to become doctors have to go somewhere.
You should have done more than get a bachelors...
Lol I’m in medical I am doing more than getting a bachelors
Also, I would argue most degree fields are “saturated” with people who had other plans
How old is Robert Bradshaw in real life? Dude looks 22 and 56 at the same time.
That happens if you're both called Robert AND Brad
@@songbird7450 👏🤣
Is his body real?
That moment when you got your BA in Communications from the University of Washington...
Go Dawgs
RIP
Sorry for your loss.
Best,
A Seattle U international studies/ spanish major :’(
with a phenomenal 3.2 GPA
So dumb, right?? I mean, if I am set on getting a communications degree, I would *at least* go to more of a party school...
(UW Engineering grad here)
Wait until they get a look at my Associates Degree in Criminal Justice. 💰 💰💰
Parking lot attendants are underappreciated.
But that degree furthers you into law enforcement jobs
*Gonna send this to my sister who has a BA in communications AND acting.*
Don't.......you'll offend her 😑
@@PhD4me Maybe she needs a reality check. Could do her good.
My3dviews you could say that again
@@missiontobeaman3111 Maybe she needs a reality check. Could do her good. :-)
I knew a girl with BA in Communications. She tried acting, then singing in a band, and now she's a pole dancer.
My first two degrees are in philosophy and medieval history. Now that's marketable.
My God, those are the two worst degrees I would ever imagine. First question is are you kidding? And second is if not, did they prove to be worthless?
@@decimated550 I'm not kidding. No, they weren't worthless because I got them both with honors at top 10 schools. I ended up getting a law degree and becoming a corporate lawyer.
@@williamtell5365 people don't realize philosophy is an excellent pre-law degree. It's also generally incredibly versatile for other careers, not to mention inherently interesting.
@@fyodorvoynich2916 it is good mental training. Law school even more. My reading, writing, and analytical skills. But anyone pursuing my basic path shouldn't have illusions. I have no regrets but humanities degrees are a hard road to a job. As for the law, it used to be monetized and communities. Being a lawyer is frighteningly similar to being a drone. Eventually I decided committing all my energy to that was foolish. I walked away. Now I live a simpler and much happier life. Thx for your response.
@@fyodorvoynich2916 I agree. I have no regrets because it's cliche but studying humanities makes your life richer, not in a monetary sense necessarily but in a human sense. As for law school preparation, there are plenty of majors which are good but I must say that some of my friends with engineering degrees became excellent attorneys. I do believe there is a connection.
I bet the candidate not only has a degree in communications but also has a “passion” for communications.
Holy shit, he also has experience in Outlook. This man's ALSO a computer genius on top of everything else?
This is amazing.
As someone who has a Psychology BA I feel this. Though I will say when things were opening up after the pandemic I got a ton of interviews and now happily work at Chewy!!
This is no joke. I got a BA and ended up working in a factory.
Factory? in America
@@Ken-ec5qp Aus- technical term was distribution centre ( the money wasn't bad though- $33/hour but the work was soooooo boring lol)
In management, I assume.
@@alandavis3715 so you worked in a warehouse
@fasha77 learn a skill that is needed in society i.e. welding, plumbing etc
Hmm I did a BA in Indigenous Basket Weaving but I've only gotten 10 job offers. So disappointing :(
[OCB]
That’s nothing. My roommate has his doctorate for Underwater Basket Weaving.
@@matthew8153 Sounds like a growing area.
I have a Degree in Puka Shell Necklace Making and i'm currently swimming in job offers. Thanks VSCO!
I have your pfp on a t-shirt and I wanted to tell you.
Hey that’s 10 more than what I would have originally thought!
I'm secure enough with myself to admit that this is how I sometimes envision my endeavors turning out.
My friends BA in Philosophy got his resume sent straight to the shredder by countless employers. Luckily his years of studying Philosophy had prepared him for such a letdown. Just proves that a good education is critical to getting on in life.
Perhaps he studied classical stoicism, it'll come in handy.
That’s actually a waste. Philosophy actually gives a lot of great skills for management and working with others in the work place. Though to be honest I’m surprised the employers even looked at the degree. These days all I hear matters is who you know.
@@vullord666 Who you know has always been a thing. I think it was more prevalent in the past in fact.
"The median philosophy major can expect to earn a salary of more than $80,000. This is higher than that earned by business management or chemistry majors." -Big Think
@@philosophymanI'm not going to say the cited statistic is wrong but it is misleading. I'd bet my left nut that the vast majority of philosophy majors fall into one of 3 categories: double majors who use their non-philosophy major to gain employment, lawyers (philosophy is a popular undergraduate degree before law school), or philosophy PhD graduates who are ultimately aiming for employment at a university. So, on those paths a philosophy major can be lucrative, but in all those paths a philosophy undergraduate degree is not what is actually earning them money.
a company not waiting several weeks to respond to a job application is the real satire.
A company not requiring 10 years of work experience out of university is also satire.
Onion journalists were so impressed because most of them only have a B.S. in Communications.
If that were even a thing, the B.S. would be valued more than the B.A. anyway.
@@bobbyd6040
Now who would that be?
Rick O'Shay OP
@@getshrekd2450
Everyone else seems to get it. Do I need to explain to you benighted Yahoos that BS doesn't stand for Bachelor of Science?
Did this manage to get you mad? lmao
And in real life, you miss one call and your resume is in the bin.
"Would you like fries with that?" Utilizes communication
I'm literally sobbing right now.
I feel like the Onion was just trying to be plain mean with this video lol 😂😂😢😭😭😭
Yes, they definitely brought out the needle on this one.
The truth can be a motherfucker
I bet the person who wrote this sketch has and arts degree.
@@im50Brian Well I imagine so seeing as how the writers in the entertainment business have an art degree in some form or another
Michael Green lmao this guy has a playlist called “climate shit” and it’s just pseudoscience Prager U videos
How does this twelve year old have gray hair and weigh 400 lbs?
Hahahaha!!!
This is how he got the job as HR director, they looked at his picture and knew he would be a perfect fit. Just watch him bring another 'special case' worker.
Bags and bags of Skittles and Cheetos will do that.
Jesus christ is that a fat suit or is all that real?
He's very advanced for his age
I have never been so attacked in my life
You should only go for a BA in Communications if you are expected to be a first or second round pick in the NFL Draft.
LOL, I have a degree in the other kind of "communications" (radio propagation, coding, signal processing, etc...a sub field of electrical engineering). It's sort of like being coincidentally named after a famous criminal. I always feel like I have to add, "...but not *that* communications..."
Damn. Why did I go for engineering.
What Branch? Civil? *Laughs in concrete*
YOU FOOL!! 🤣🤣🤣
To suffer.
Because you are a gay
Because you like to eat, and food costs money. And you are not going to get a lot if you study that communications shit.
The even more contemporary version of this is “Young applicant was called back immediately because of his social media expertise”
Sounds like a title the Onion should immediately consider
That's the new video for Gen-Z
He forgot to put "Social Media Maven" or "Digital Native" under his name
It's called the Onion because it makes you cry from realising your life failures
I hacked into their system to get the resume, the skills he has are unique:-
- B.A in communication.
- has experience in Word, Excel, AND Powerpint.
- 2 years of experience working at college's newspaper.
- 4 WHOLE years of high school Spanish.
- his father is the CEO's friend.
- has a valid driver license since he was 16.
- before university, he actually graduated high, middle, and elementary schools, and even kinder garden, and day care.
- has a valid Birth Certificate.
- took 6 months of Piano lessons as a kid.
- his father is the CEO's friend.
- trained Karate fo 2 years as a kid.
- can work under pressure.
- can work alone AND with a team.
- his vast knowledge of literature including watching shows like: Dragon Ball, Yu Gi Oh, Pokemon, Justice League, the whole Marvel Cinematic Universe, and Harry potter films.
- his father is the CEO's friend.
- can speak English, even tho he's American.
- not just speaking, he can read AND write in English.
- can do complex math equations, like addition, subtraction, multiplication and EVEN division.
- oh and did I mention his father is the CEO's friend?
The 2 years experience at the college newspaper isn’t actually that bad.
Almost every onion video was made a decade ago. They just keep hitting closer and closer to home with each one of these videos. Thankfully my degree is in culinary arts which is far more useful than communications. (Coughs in COVID-19)
My husband has a BA in history and an AA in culinary arts. He is an appliance repairman now. 😂
Wow imagine having a degree in ancient Chinese philosophy
Close... I have a bachelor's in philosophy.
@@pepsi5432 that's what he's making fun. If you had good grades and good gpa and take the lsat you could go to law school a majority of law students major in either Economics, politic science, or philosophy.
@Russ Olson Yes...but I bet your professor also has a doctorate.
How about a degree in library science.
What high schoolers think will happen when they graduate college.
EXACTLY... it's laughable.
By now this kids probably living the high life with his $500k a year job. He's probably the CEO by now.
Hahahahahahahahaha * cries *
I'm surprised he had to send out a resume at all, all these guys have a lot of job offers lined up by the time they graduate.
This was actually just like me I live in Tennessee and applied for a landscaping job and they called me like 20 times over the course of three days but apparently the number they were calling me with was out of Michigan so I kept ignoring it it wasnt till the 3rd day I was hired on the spot with no interview because I wrote that I had chainsaw experienc and that's exactly who they needed because their insurance wouldn't let them "train" a guy on chainsaw unless he had atleast 2 years experience.
Leatherface? Is that you?
Oh is that worth putting on a resume
I've got lot of experience using a chainsaw
@@scottjohnson5687 Honestly man I'd put any and every skill you got. My resume looks real big and impressive but some of the skills are pretty redundant like I know how change the oil on a truck. Like they'd never hire you just because that skill but when they are looking over your resume they might "Oh nice well he can help change the trucks oil because we do it monthly" I don't know that's just my philosophy with resumes it's never done me wrong.
I hope your toelessness is unrelated to your skill with chainsaws.
I'm so done "Experience in Word, Excel, PowerPoint." I have that on my resume 😂😂😂
the 4 years of spanish is more valuable than the college degree
Yeah, he can work at a restaurant and communicate with the kitchen staff
lol.no
Ehh my brother has a comm degree and works in corporate public policy for a major telecom, so it's not completely useless. 4 years of HS Spanish will probably only help you professionally in construction if you hire illegal immigrants
@@pkal244 In my area, it is Brazilians working at construction, so the Spanish degree is trash now 😂
Rich 91 it’s still a completely different language, it’ll take you a couple weeks to master Portuguese is you already know Spanish.
*Employers don't seem to realize that my degree in Underwater Basket Weaving also means I'm SCUBA certified.*
The worst part about looking for a job is finding one.
Funny cause it's ironically true! "References available on request" is pure gold.
I literally am getting my BA in communications from the university of Washington and have worked on the school paper for 2 years. Fuck my life.
At least now you know how the job market will treat you.
I’m actually a worse applicant because I don’t have 4 years of Spanish
2012 Age 23: Earned bachelors in psychology. Moved to NYC for model agency internship. Left after 1 week due to living arrangements.
2013 Age 23: Back home. Waiter at a pizza place. Was to start grad school in Global Marketing Communications and Advertising
2013 Age 24: Waiter at a museum cafeteria because grad school plans fell through (got accepted, didn't plan correctly financially).
2014 Age 24:Fled to NYC due to job frustrations and worked as a fashion photographer and caterer
2015 Age 25: Moved back home. Quit call center job after day 2. Quit Sears after 2 weeks.Worked in another call center.Was to start Art Direction program. Continued working in call center because school plans fell through again (Dad changed mind about consigning on Sallie Mae loan).Freelance photography
2016 Age 26: Still worked in call center (growing tired a frustrated).Freelance photography
2017 Age 27: Still worked in call center. Grew very tired a frustrated and got fired.Freelance photography
2018 Age 28: Full-time freelance photography. Worked at call center #3 and quit after 2 weeks. Worked in call center #4 and quit after almost 2 months. Started grad school for Urban Design
2019 Age 29: Graduated grad school finally. Worked at Amazon warehouse (would stand in one place in shock from time to time then get back to stocking shelves and pushing carts. Occasionally asked if I was "ok" by coworkers). Worked at call center #5.Freelance photography
2020 Age 30 *Covid-19*: Fired from call center again. Worked at call center #6. Left call center after 3 weeks. Starting 2nd masters program in Architecture in fall
Thoughts: Still can't believe I'm 30/had NO IDEA this would be my path after college/searched for direction, meaning, purpose, fulfillment, stability, truth, respect, love, money, God, and happiness
What's YOUR story?
@Niyaz 1) I didn't pursue psychology jobs because I realized I didn't want to become a psychologist. In one of my counseling classes, we did mock counseling sessions with our classmates and I was uncomfortable with my role as someone that was supposed to know the answers and help someone despite my own issues and also took it more as an acting exercise and played around rather than taking it seriously, so I decided I shouldn't pursue it after graduation. It was the 5th major I declared while in school as I tried to find my path. In the U.S. to become a real psychologist, you have to get a doctorate degree making me Dr. Bracken. Turns out psychology wasn't my passion thought I still do like the idea of giving adivce to people and I do that from time to time. You can't really get a job with an undergraduate degree. So getting a job was difficult. I applied to all kinds of places that you didn't need a college degree for.
2) I was still getting hired because I wasn't putting all the places I quit on my resume. The first call center I worked at that I quit after 2 days was one I actually lied on my application to get. I NEVER thought I would be someone that lies on a resume , but I did. It was after I moved back from a year in New York City and I was "desperate" to make someone actually work so I made up a false job to make my resume look better. I quit that call center during the 2nd day because I felt guilty about lying. I worked in the 2nd call center I stayed at for over 2 years because I think I formated my resume to look better and I spoke well at my interview to sell myself which opened the doors to other call centers even though I grew to hate call centers but I needed money. That call center was also hiring alot of people at once.
3) 8 months after getting my graduate degree, I actually did get a job offer at an environmental graphic design firm where I live. I got the referral thanks to a well-connected classmate (that I was jealous of during school lol). It was interesting how I didn't find the job myself. I sent in plenty of applications to different places after graduating but never heard anything back really. Actually, Around 5 or 6 months after graduating, I did get an interview at a landscape architecture firm. But at a certain point after graduating even while interviewing at these places, I decided I wanted to go back to school a 3rd time for architecture. I quit architecture in 2010 and after my fruitless career quest after all these years and my experience in m urban design program, I think my natural gifting is in design and creativity and I should commit to that field. I've worked as a freelance photographer after college anyway.
And as far as doing my proper research, I actually did do that. I did so much research that I knew before starting the urban design graduate program that I was not really going to get a job as an urban designer because you really need experience working as an urban planner, architect, or landscape architect BEFORE being hired as an urban designer and I didn't have any of those degrees or experiences. But I did the program anyway because it was only 1 year and it helped me see where it may lead me and I wasn't doing anything else with my life at the time. It did eventually lead me to a job offer(again, thanks to my classmate I met in school) that was a design job. I didn't expect to become an urban designer after graduating and my professor told me I wouldn't while I was actually in school , but I just hoped it would lead to SOMETHING good and would allow me to escape the horror of call center and warehouse work after all these frustrating years.
I do have a relationship with the God of the Bible despite all the ways I mess up. Or at least I try to have a relationship with God/Jesus. I did pray that God would make a way for me to able able to go back to school. I later found out that my sister and I can go to school for free due to his military service. So I was able to complete my graduate degree almost completely free. I still took out loans so I wouldn't have to work during school but obviously, it cost a lot less. And I will be going to architecture school mostly for free as well until I've used up all the free money. The new school I'm going to also gave me a stipend so I have more free money to go to school I don't have to pay back and I thank Jesus Christ. It's interesting how you can say a prayer and have thousands and thousands of dollars rain down on you. So, I think you should start praying to the God of the Bible and see what can happen for you. From me you can see that if you keep going down the same path, you really can just go throughout more and more and more years of the same messed up thing eventually be 30 without having really done much. But you still are 23 and have a chance to learn from others and make changes. Start by praying to Jesus.
@Niyaz Sounds good man. Keep going
Damn! I thought you were going to end it by saying you won the lottery and bought a Lambo😆
@@TLM860 Sorry! Working on it
2011: Get into private college for Engineering with weak health but good scores
2015: Health fucked up more, Mind completely ruined, still had good scores
2015 July: Mom passed away in an accident, psychologically ruined
2016-2018: Complete Masters somehow with good scores and get into an engineering firm
2018: Firm dupes us with offers and throws into IT. I quit in four months.
2019-2020 June:Unemployment
I love this sketch and I think one of the best things about it is the actor who plays the HR guy. Perfect performance.
My bachelor of music has become a great comedic centrepiece of our lounge room.
Holy shit this video just ruined my life... I’m getting a BA in Communications... from Central Washington University... a school even less credible than UW...
QuantumCanDo You are definitely doomed. Your young self confidence will convince you that you’ll be the exception who succeeds at a high level with that degree from that school but reality is different. Sadly, you’ll have no way to truly see this until it’s too late.
Better stop wasting any more time and money and just go to trade school/join the military to become an electrician, or a plumber, or hell even a truck driver (though truck drivers are in the midst of becoming automated). College only pays off if your major pertains to any medically-oriented professions (nurses, physicians, physician assistants, physical therapists, etc.), engineering, accounting, law school, and computer programming. Going to college for any kind of random non-STEM major like communications, psychology, or fucking marketing is a goddamn scam, and I pity the kids who fall into this trap.
Thanks guys I really appreciate your positive recognition
Two of my brothers did not go to college and both of them make nearly figures, more than I do and I struggled about 6 years putting myself through school. No you dont need college. You need ambition and drive and motivation.
Nah man learn what your passionate about, if you enjoy what you are learning you are getting any money's worth
$140K in student debt and a B.A. in Gender Studies... I'm ready for the world!
What...that's just some very poor decision making. How will you pay that off with all the interest? And how does gender studies even help you or the world? Especially while you work a menial job trying to pay off that massive debt. Not trying to be a jerk just being realistic
@@gray_gogy they're being sarcastic mate
@@mitsterful lol I doubt it the way the world is going now. Some inspired kids are going to Harvard for gender studies with big student loans
abdurrahman nashit You must be so much fun
abdurrahman nashit no it’s satire, also I swear to god if I see one person in this thread comment “r/woooosh” I’m gonna kms
My brother use to date a woman who had a PhD in Eastern Philosophy. At the time I was an area manager for a janitorial company. She asked me to hire her for a janitor job.
My BA in Philosophy has gotten me soo far into the world of part-time Administrative Assistant work. I even sometimes get offered to work enough hours to qualify for health benefits!
*sigh*
If only this video was true.
This is literally my resume lol
You haven't gotten a good job offer yet have you?
Oof
M I C R O S O F T
W O R L D
man's said lol
Mine too :/
The older these videos get, the more beautiful they feel.
My B.A. in communication (with a focus in journalism) has really helped me be a better HVAC technician
@Ryan it's more of a grind than some jobs because on call hours and working in all types of weather but the money is good if you know how to sell
@Ryan installing is harder physically but you don't have to ever be on call and you don't have to sell anything. Being a service tech you have to be on call sometimes and to make any real money you have to be able to sell people on buying new systems. Some guys are ruthless and basically don't hardly do any repairs, they just want to sell. When you get overtime in the summer plus commissions you are making really good money. Winter is a whole different story, no calls and no hours. You basically have to save some money from the summer for the winter months. If you are thinking about doing HVAC I suggest you do NOT go to school for it. Just get a job as a parts driver for an HVAC company and learn on the job.
@Ryan depends on the company you work for. I'm at a company that guarantees 30 hours pay during the winter. We sit around the shop all day playing cards and listening to the radio then to home early. I actually can't imagine working in an office 9-5 at this point.