Jessica & Amber Debate DATING APPS: Millennial/ Gen Z Couples Meeting ONLINE
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- Опубліковано 14 гру 2023
- Jessica Burbank and Amber Duke discuss the current dating landscape. #datingapps #onlinedating
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Cold approaching women is difficult. Very easy to be viewed as a threat if a man isn’t attractive in her eyes.
Nobody is viewed as a threat if their approach isn't threatening. That's a copout.
@@worldadventuretravelshe just talked about a man approaching her and her friends, wondering if he would be a creep. So, if she’s thinking like that , then she thinks that 50% of men would have to be creeps. But, a creep in her eyes would be someone that she doesn’t find attractive. But, I’m sure you’re always right
@@worldadventuretravel no it’s true. If you’re not attracted to the woman then they get scared
The "intended purpose" of dating apps is to take your money, not to optimize matches.
Just be acutely aware men base possibly too much on physicality. So look your best, and bon chance …
@@jacquescousteau217 It's hard wired into men, it's part of their makeup. And just to be acutely aware, women are far more concerned with their appearance than men are. Who spends more time on their appearance; men or women? Who typically has more pictures looking their absolute best in their profiles; men or women? And don't say it's because men put too much emphasis on the physical. Ask any woman who they get all done up for, it's not men, according to them. 😀
Funny timing. I've always been against dating apps, but I'm 40, live alone in a town with basically no friends & my ex (kind of best friend) suggested bumble. So I downloaded it & 2 weeks later, I'm going on my first date with someone new in almost 10 years tonight. So I hope you're wrong 😹
@sageopheim8382 eh, I just need some human interaction! If nothing else, I'm sure she's a real human. Or, at least I'll be able to tell if shes a real human when she gets to the restaurant 😜
Good luck!! Maybe don't describe yourself the way you did above.... you sound a little lonely... guys like upbeat, happy girls who will prop them up in life (bc they are often so sad and pathetic, they need help themselves, lol!). Either way, have fun!!
@@skontheroad hey! I am that sad & pathetic male you speak of & I do need some help!! 😹😹😹 I realize that everyone lies & props themselves up, but that's just not me. I'm looking for someone who's a little more real, even if that comes with some occasional sadness 😼 Thanks for the luck, either way 😸
Good Luck! You might hit the lottery. If not.....the first step is the hardest in a long journey. Good Luck!
Jessica is a sugar baby 😂😂she target lonely men and steal thier money
Dating apps are all about data mining these days. The goal is to keep you on there, while also basically deteriorating society and social norms as a whole. People don’t know how to connect anymore.
I love thst Jessica thinks the Internet became a factor in 1980. Basically nobody used the Internet before the mid-1990s. In 1980 we didnt even have popular movies about it yet.
@@James_Willow. Those were outliers. The masses were not using the internet in the 80s. In the 80s you may pay a daring service and watch a few vhs tapes to present some choices of dates.
@@James_Willow This isn’t about the existence of the internet…..this is about using the internet for dating…and in the 80s people were not doing that in any significant numbers….look at the chart in the video how people answer where they met their significant other.
I thought the same thing… the internet wasn’t a thing for John or Jane Q Public till like ‘94. I was in high school
@@James_Willow lol I think you've revealed what kind of a pedantic arguer you are. Nobody is buying it.
@@James_Willow uh.. no. That’s what I just said.
Imagine your wife saying, “I went on 100+ ‘dates’ before I met my husband”
I would never even ask that of her. I'd just assume she dated a lot before meeting me, just as I dated a lot before meeting her.
@@JoshPetersonthat’s how most men end up getting divorced. A woman’s past is, more than likely, how she will always be.
@@michaellang4242 I'm almost 40 years old. At my age, if I said no to every woman who went on 100 dates by the time they were 40, my dating pool would be super frickin small. Like I said, I just assume they've dated a lot because I have as well. That doesn't make them a bad person. Yes, past behavior is indicative of future behavior, but not always. And there could be a myriad of reasons why they dated a lot. Also, dating doesn't mean "hooking up". If they had over a 100 partners, that'd be a different story, but that's not what I was referring to.
Practically every woman does that.
And yet, some of us don’t qualify to be 1 of 100
I sincerely don’t understand Jessica has said many times on show…”as a member of the lgb community…” and now she states she has a bf?
Bisexual/pan people exist
I thought she was a lesbian too, now I’m confused 😂 May be a bi ? 🤷
Maybe she’s bi. Thad would qualify for it
All women under 30 basically identify as lgbt now. Just what it is.
I guess or maybe her female partner identifies as a male. It's all insane!@@subo88
As a male dating sites in the USA don’t work very well if at all, but when I travel overseas it works like a charm! To be honest I don’t even have to use dating sites while traveling outside the USA most women are very easy to walk up & talk to with out the feeling of being weird.
When she said 100 dates, her husband has to be saying, how many?!
The problem isnt that I stand a chance of being percieved as creepy for approaching women in public. That has always been true. The issue is that there is now a reasonable chance that you can face immense reputational harm, legal consequences, loose your job and all without evidence and theres no way of telling in advance which women will behave like this. It is extremely risky. Ladies need to start approaching or make it explicitly clear that they are wanting to be approached in public now
@@James_Willow nope. Not at all. I'm saying there is a chance that an extremely negative event could occur. While the probability that this event occurs is relatively low (ie, NOT all women are the same), there is a risk all the same because, as far as Ive been able to tell, there isnt any real way of telling which women will behave like that (again, NOT all women are the same). Everyone will do their own risk calculation for whether or not they will approach someone in public, but for many men, the risk has become unacceptably high. The easy way around this conundrum is for women to approach the men that they are interested in or to make it very clear that they are inviting an interaction (such as waving, saying hello, clarifying that yes she means YOU may approach)
@@James_Willow I think you're being pretty dismissive to a large number of men who have suffered very real consequences for doing nothing wrong. It's a risk some people are willing to take and others are not.
It is true that women still expect men to approach. It is also true that many men have faced real punishment for doing nothing wrong. Both things being true is a problem. Men are routinely asked (and demanded) to change their natural behaviors to fit modern expectations. This is a reasonable expectation for women to change if they want better results while still being able to discourage unwanted behavior collectively (which is an explicitly stated goal by many many women). And they've demonstrated that they're capable of doing so because they will routinely break their normal behavior and approach if they deem the man to be sufficiently attractive (which is my advice to men: just work on yourself to make yourself more attractive).
Btw, are you liking your own posts??
@@James_Willow ah so because you haven't experienced it, it doesn't exist. That is an absurd argument
@@James_Willow I never said I hoped for women to approach me. I said I am not going to personally take the risk of approaching strange women in public because I am personally uncomfortable with the risk.
At this point, what is the point of your continued participation in this conversation? What are you trying to accomplish? Are you just talking to hear yourself?
@@James_Willow Please cite where I said million. I already listed 3 specific consequences. Kindly, go talk to a wall
You can do both. I would prefer meeting online to take out the awkward initiating and then meet in person after a few conversations.
That's the right formula.
Jessica is a sugar baby😂she part of the problem
The problem is that women don't want to meet in person, because that's icky or weird or too much work or now I have to actually be a real live human.
Source: my personal experience
Amber is right. The plethora of choices from algorithmic matches are only really relevant to women.
It’s strange that women want to meet a man in person, but then put him in the “creep” category if they like the way he looks. Have women become so petty that a man is a creep automatically if he’s not a Chad or Tyrone. This discussion does expose a lot of issues that men have with women.
Dating apps, meeting in person, meeting serendipitously, being introduced, social media, are all mostly icebreakers. You can get a lot of get to know you through video but in person for more than an hour is great. I used to like to do a 3 days in a row thing just to get a variety of days and moods. Not constantly together but meet/date 3 days in a row. I've only had a few people take me up on that and 1 turned into a 4 year relationship and we ended up living together.
They are both off. You have to use a dating app and be intentional to meet people online. I would not think just lucking into a relationship is going to happen.
Dating Apps have platforms for “hookup culture “. It took away courting for DMs.
Date in person not digitally.
BOYFRIEND? I thought Jessica was lesbian.
She swings both ways.
It seems rather apt that Amber, the somewhat more anti-online one, is present in studio, whereas the more online-friendly Jessica is broadcasting remotely from her... guitar room.
She’s a Christian with far right wing values that have ruined the country for decades
Dating apps are the downfall of modern society
so capitalism doesn't work?
No that’s believing in monogamy most narrow view on love
Back in the 1980s, my cousin met his eventual wife through a newspaper personal column, which I suppose is the antecedent to the current online dating apps.
Imagine how many future humans will talk about finding their ex on X.
This is a good debate. I met a girl online. We dated for 10 months until we had a falling out because of her mental health issues. I agree with Amber on online dating, my sister has a point and I believe that people should meet in person not online.
Many times during this “debate” they used the word “people” when the word should have been “women”. Y’all need to be cognizant of the fact that you’re speaking about dating apps without considering the other gender.
If you try to date someone via Twitter, Instagram, etc, many women say that’s stalker or creepy. Basically, dating is impossible
I met my first wife on a computer match, didn’t end well. I really like Jessica, but I am too old for her.
Grindr is NOT a dating app 😂😂😂😂😂
It’s only creepy if she doesn’t find you attractive 😉.
Women have been telling men don’t approach us. Men are obedient.
Asking women if dating apps work is like asking men if urinals are good for pissing in. Urinals work well, if you’re a man. Dating apps work well too, if you’re a woman.
Of course Jessica does not need apps, she's not the average though...
She a sugar baby 😂her services are for sale
She also a cam girl 😂😂😂
@@minipower1717 huh?
She looks pretty average to me
9:13 This is where the discussion really starts. As much as I hate online dating, one indisputable advantage of it is that every woman there is in some way asking to be approached online. In real life women might not want to be approached and will react badly to men who do so.
Women only now perceive a man approaching her in public as a creep because online dating and general social media attention has inflated the egos of most women. Prior to 10-15 years ago, women would be flattered that a man approached her in public because that was her way of knowing she's attractive. Now she doesn't need in-person attention when she can open an app and be bombarded with messages or Likes from keyboard warriors all day.
Whenever I feel too smart for my own good,
I listen to Jessica to dumb me back down
Sad, with all the student loan debt they are carrying, that they never learned about the Supermarket Produce aisle.
A dating app with a high success (and delete) rate would gain a reputation and become more popular. It's not obvious that they dont want you to find the right person.
Everything is fake there you never know how is clicking behind that computer 😂
Dating apps are driving a lot of terrible behavior in and out of relationships. Its a lot harder, and costlier, to behave poorly when you have mutual friends and family that have known you for years.
That’s not dating at fault that’s the right wing society we’ve lived in for the past multiple decades fault
@@rikmichaels9233 interesting. What part of the world is that?
Most intentionally don't give detailed filters for hobbies and interests bc that will definitely lead to meaningful connections
Dating advice from a 64-year-old grandmother: Never provide an address or telephone number online. Always arrange a first date in a public place. There are a whole lot of creeps out there. My own grandparents were immigrants and met via a classified ad. My late divorced mother used classifieds until she just plain gave up on finding another partner.
And I'm like both your dads - I talk to strangers all the time. You can learn something new, and you can brighten someone else's day.
Never take advice from a boomer they destroyed everything which is why we have no future
Half asian half white make such beautiful people like this anchor Jessica Burbank
I’ve always had better experiences meeting women naturally out somewhere than online. Online dating is full of entitled people who often never look like what they show in the pic. It’s always a hot mess
Amber i met my husband on a dating app
also Amber... nah dog, its not good for you...
Jesus this lady should be taken of air ASAP, the amount of mental gymnastics
I met my wife through a mutual friend. Dating apps were around but I never used one. I think there were more rules around decorum when dating traditionally. You had to have a chaperone on dates and be introduced properly to your spouse. The courting period was a thing.
I know growing up that my approaches to women were 99% unsuccessful. As a man you are taught to approach women in a public setting if you are interested. Also prepare to be shut down the majority of the time. With these rejections I developed this theory that women generally distrust men and the only way to have a chance is if one of her friends or family literally vouched for you. I get it. As soon as I stopped trying as hard a female friend introduced me to her friend who was looking for a relationship.
With dating apps it removes that entire process and people can screen their dates online so the pressure is off. I don't really know if that is a good thing or bad thing.
Did that freind use ur wife first ? Shame shame
@luisfernando5998 it was a female friend so doubtful. But who knows lol
😮 well a lot of women are ending of dead from being on these dating websites. That serial killer in New York was using these dating websites. A woman who met a guy online and flew out to him ended up getting killed. Why don't you talk about that ? I've been hearing a lot of things , nothing positive.
@@James_Willow Its not 'one event'- (Let me guess- you work as a Marketing Rep for Uber? Another app with hundreds of assaults and rapes on women.. ). What gives YOU the right to tell someone to 'get off the internet'? Wth.
@@James_Willow this has been happening for a while. Remember the guy from Craigslist, he was killing women. That was before the dating app. There was another guy that ended up killing some woman from tinder. Song about the husband was selling his wife. She ended up getting cut up.
@@James_Willow what you say? These women shouldn't be careful on these apps. Are you a serial killer?
Recently seperated after 30 plus years of marriage, live in a rural area and have a limited social circle. The Apps are a good dating tool of which you must have many.After about a year of use, before the few dates I've gone on there is a long period of texting on the App, then at some point exchanging numbers and chatting more, then arrange a date. A month at least of communications. A good aspect is that out right, if you are honest you do find people that have more of the same interests. Maybe its different with younger people. I don't find it inherently dangerous as a male.
Proof monogamy is a myth
The Summer of Love called, they miss you. @@rikmichaels9233
Dating apps suggest folks are following the path of least resistance. I’m single and have never dated anyone from an app. If I were a woman, I don’t think I would be interested in a guy that didn’t have the stones to approach me. Rejection simply helps you to refine your approach. Since both these podcasters met their significant others online, it’s no surprise they find no fault. As a man, I would have approached either of them in person. There is something to be said about seeing someone, and being attracted by the way they moved, the way they spoke, the way they interacted with others, and carried themselves. You can’t get any of those vibes from an app. With all due respect..
If you were a women, you would be very smart. Women who are aware of the dynamic of a man having the gall to approach verses the below bare minimum effort man that stalks online cuz they are afraid to be rejected IRL, knows that guy can handle getting a little uncomfortable in life to achieve goals. They are also much more masculine in nature. Men online vs IRL are a different kind of guy. The girls that’s say “what if he’s crazy” usually are just young girls afraid of men. Who doesn’t love attention and flirting from a man you find attractive. Sure the unattractive ones will come, but as a woman your power is in a GENTLE/polite no “I’ve got a boyfriend”. IRL has been done since the beginning of time. This blip in time is NOT doing well.. Less people are happy. Nobody is dancing anymore.. THAT is huge sign OLD is not working. The romancing is GONE.
There are plenty of women who do NOT appreciate a man having the "stones" to approach them in real life because they find men to be annoying at best and dangerous predators at worst.
@@ReginaMcNeish Unfortunately online dating has been like opening pandora's box. It's here to stay as long as the internet exists.
Jessica, and Amber a question for you both . Would it be fair to say that men, and women are not exactly based in reality . In other words do people deceive their physicality possibly more than anything else ? What could possibly make one charming, humble,intelligent etc.etc. I cannot imagine meeting someone other than a tete a tete as I see everything on social media or dating sites are possibly 99 % smoke, and a looking glass …
I feel really sad that people don't talk to other people, stranger or not. I grew up in one of the laregest cities in the world and people interacted. This isn't progress this is unhealthy and weird what's transpired in western culture the last 20 years.
Surely the dating apps don't want you using them, and really want you to find true love! 😂
I met my wife online and we had 13 years together.
The thumbnail makes it look like the woman looks like Jessica on the app, but turns out to be Amber in real life. Ouch!
Yes, there is certainly a generation thing here. Gen X and older did not grow up with access to online devices like younger generations have. For Gen X and older, the only way to socialize was face to face. Younger generations have not had nearly as many face to face interactions with strangers, therefore, they never developed good skills to do so. Younger generations are not able to read body language and other pointers that give indications of intent and emotions as well as older generations do.
Meeting people online is fine, as long as it stays online. It's unfortunate that online a person is exposed to people will ill intent from all over the world. Sadly, the internet is full of predators, where in real, predators are much less likely to succeed. Also, people put so much info about themselves online that it really gives predators a huge advantage.
Why do they keep saying 1980s, lol? The internet really didn't take off until the last 90s and online dating didn't really become mainstream until the 2010s when Smartphones and social media took over the internet. Online dating is a really new phenomenon!
The internet🎉 dating culture starting in 1980. Huh? "The internet dating culture online increasing since 1980". She mentioned it 3 times in he context of dating.
I cannot. Lol.. Basic history is hard i guess.
I'll edit for the young uns....AOL was barely a thing in the mid 90's, we're talking 28.8 modems in 94 people. She's off by roughly 27 years on "swiping" and VERY rudimentary dating web sites not existing until the early 00's.
There was ZERO internet dating in the 80's.
Dating apps are like keyboard warriors... They're give a person a false sense of courage.
Girls are debating dating apps, while both having face filters 😀
Jessica. Did you know we've seen a huge increase in freeway traffic since 1812?
"treating people as disposable and move on to the next best thing"?
What? I've been on dating apps for years and can't even get a match. Tf you mean
Wait i thought Jessica was a lesbian? So tou mean she plays for both teams???
Candid , thoughtful discussion. Well done !
Meeting people in person gives you a lot of info that wouldn’t be obvious in online profiles. I like in person and never tried online dating before.
I don't know about this. There is a bunch of basic info that you get from an online profile that you don't know about a stranger at a party, event, or bar.
@@ryancappo that’s why you talk to them to find out
I meet women out walking and in the supermarket. You'd be surprised what a smile and / or a hi can achieve.
Is this a joke? Are you living in 1960?
@@brooklynbud1138 -I'm living in the real world. You should check it out. It's 2023 in Portland, Oregon, USA.
@@brooklynbud1138 Nope, you just have zero social skills.
The Internet became a factor in 1980? Huh?
Dating apps are great for men, if you’re a Chad or Tyrone. Considering that women swipe right 5-10% of the time, dating apps aren’t for average men and are a no go for short men.
The glass thats 73% full online is also a huge... 27% empty online... overall. Wow! Thats still a whopping number of people who arent being a bit geeky. Jessica, that must run into the millions.
Why are they talking like the internet was a thing shortly after 1980?
The only important takeaway here is Jessica isn't single and broke the hearts of me and many men. Instagram is the biggest dating app. All these things only benefit women and the small select few men women find genuinely attractive.
I'm not ruining my twitter/X carefully built up over 15 years circle of friends/colleagues over IRL meeting/dating, need to keep some anonymity on there
It's like these app owners keep you hanging with their algorithms, to keep people be subscribed for long in order to give their app the market value of large subscriptions; because once you find your mate, the purpose of such app ends technically!!
ummm...100 dates?!
Hopefully those were mostly platonic.
Question is not how many meet, but how many stay together after that. Quality over quantity.
People have been coming together irl for most of human history, there is a certain element to it that apps will never be able to catch. We did not evolve to meet mates on Tinder. Smell, sense, voice, posture, etc. All of those are important and social media will never be able to replicate such nuance.
That is what I am curious about. The divorce/breakup rate from relationships in the 70's, 80's, and 90's isn't great.
@@ryancappo Divorce rates are down because marriage rates are down, from 10.6(per 1000 population) in 1970 to 6.5 in 2018.
In 50s and 60s divorce rate was 0.24%, in the 70s 0.40%, in the 80s 0.50%, 90s 0.44%, 2000s 0.37%, 2010s 0.30%. Rise in the 70s and 80s is mostly attributed to "no fault divorce" introduced in 1969 onward(first California and it spread from there).
In comparison divorce rate in 19th century was 0.04%. 1900-1930 0.13%.
Those are Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's National Center for Health Statistics stats.
Nobody will be able to give you reliable breakdown about just relationships and cohabitation.
Poor husband.😢
“Cold approach” is a real time screening tool to see how insane or toxic a woman is by the way she responds to your initial approach. You can’t screen for insanity or toxicity on a dating app 😂
Jessica - wonder if the guy is just pretending that's how he thinks.
yeah.. but women still aren't very good at telling grandma and the big bad wolf apart. women will call a man "a partner", failing to realise there was never going to be more than a couple of weeks/months in it. so they will report their status as "in a relationship" when they've never actually been in one. ever
As an observation . Jessica always has four guitars hanging on her wall. One looks like a Strat, the others you can’t tell. Possibly a Taylor. The question is - with having four instruments - is she that serious of a musician ? I’m a session player - guitar, and bass - . Today there are more guitars made in Asia than the USA . With that said. Japanese made Fenders ,especially the early 1980s JV ( Japan Vintage ) are easily as good or better than American made Fenders , and the prices are going up on them. Every serious player knows this. You can swap out the pups,caps,pots,wiring ( vintage cloth pull back ) input jack for $1000. and have a USA made CS Fender. Gibsons another story. Ps. If you’re wondering Martin D 45, Martin D 28 , Fender 62 reissue Jazz bass, and Fender 57 Strat JV . All USA except the Strat which is Japanese but has scatterwound pups, CTS pots, 3 caps , Switchcraft 1/4 inch,Callahan steel block , Kluson machine heads . Point being. If you have a cheap Strat go on “ Reverb “ . You can but prewired harness, Fender pups,CTS or Bourne pots , Switchcraft 1/4 “ etc.etc. for approximately $350-$400. Next. Play something on the Hill.
Or just don't meet anyone, anywhere, in any format.
Well the thing is all the fake profiles
Jessica must be from a different planet . Shes so divine. Ye real life any day . But an old guy like me would almost be forced to use online these days. The good times of the playful thrill of real courting have become warped due to all sorts of reasons oozing out of our devices. I gave up a long time ago. All the best Joe
The vague attempts have just been half assed. As the ooze is so pervasive.
😂😂 for real!
"People have so many choices on dating apps"
"Been on many, many dates through apps"
"met my SO on apps/soc media". "Me too!"
"Meeting strangers for dates is a safety issue"
These broads are talking dating apps from a SCRICTLY female perscective. This discussion had nothing to do with the male experience
Apps get you the meeting, the rest is up to you.
I can’t charm women online the same way.
lol... In short... Jessica is a lil' on the weird side!!!
Dating apps are essentially electronic pimps!
If you are not a top 10-20% male (you will know if you are or not) then do not use dating sites. Just don’t.
Oh wow... another beautiful woman's take on dating. B.s.
Please next time you have this conversation, bring 2 men into the conversation. This is you guys viewpoint. Men dating online is different with women.
so jessica ? you come here often…. Doh, Then the boyfriend comment .
Unfortunately this is the new norm
Familiarity creates like.
How many stranger D amber took from those apps before her husband ? Sad
Oh my Jessica is dating one of her reply guys? There is hope for men yet!
Dating apps are overwhelming but i wouldnt meet anyone if I didn't use it
Neither of these young ladies would swipe anywhere near me on a dating site. … 😢. I’m VERY nice. ☝️. I’m out here all day just treating you good and being very nice. One day, Burbank. Maybe one day 😭😭
I met my wife on Bumble. Our divorce will be final at the end of the month.
Dating apps are not for most men
but for BBWs like Amber
😂
😂👍
Is there an antiwoke dating site? 🤔
Met my wife on tinder in 2016 and we’re happily married for 3-4 years 👍🏽 nothing wrong with dating apps. Traditional homegirl likes people to be betrothed by parents probably.
How many stranger D she took from tinder before u ?
tbh that was around the last time tinder was useful. It turned very much pay to win after a few years.
Also the introduction of venmo just caused a bunch of scammers to introduce themselves.
@@luisfernando5998 doesn’t matter. What she did before our relationship is in the past. Unless she was shady. I’m pretty good at telling in person. I had stranger V too lol
Think about it, if a dating app works they'd lose a customer.
They just want you to keep thinking it "might" work.
Meet people irl, stop it with this garbage.