My Wife hired a Private Investigator to find me after she CHEATED and I Ghosted her - Reddit Podcast
Вставка
- Опубліковано 1 жов 2024
- 😈 Am I the Jerk? playlist - • Am I the Jerk?
(finance, real estate, investing & more soon )
r/confession r/entitledparents r/tifu r/prorevenge r/maliciouscompliance r/choosingbeggers r/entitledpeople r/IDOWorkHereLady r/Idontworkherelady r/personalfinance r/AmITheA**hole r/AITA
🟢 Listen on Spotify - open.spotify.c...
📷 instagram - amithejerk
👉Social Media Links - linktr.ee/amit... 👉easymode - vibey music for chillin (Cream of the Stream) -
open.spotify.c... -----
podcast reddit, reddit storytime reddit top posts r/confession r/entitledparents r/tifu r/prorevenge r/maliciouscompliance r/choosingbeggers r/entitledpeople r/IDOWorkHereLady r/Idontworkherelady r/personalfinance r/AmITheA**hole r/AITA
-----
👉easymode - vibey music for chillin (Cream of the Stream) - open.spotify.c...
👉 SUBMIT YOUR OWN STORIES HERE ▶ amithejerk.com/...
👉 SUBMIT YOUR OWN STORIES HERE ▶ amithejerk.com/...
👉 SUBMIT YOUR OWN STORIES HERE ▶ amithejerk.com/...
“I didn’t know how much I loved you until u left me” Sureeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... let’s use the OLDEST trick in the book, how disgusting!
well honestly this actually could be genuine like that one saying "never know what you had until its gone" and tbh ive felt this before so there a possibility it could be genuine
It's pretty genuine. You have to make her prove her worth and authenticity though by having her work the extta mile to repair your trust broken by her betrayal. But it's a commitment from the two of you. And only if you're brave enough to risk of getting hurt again.
She mad and sad because she has to face the consequences of her actions. Even if she is truly remorseful she should just move on. Its not like rekindling that relationship will lead to anything but mistrust in the future.
"I miss the part where that's MY problem."
Bruh..... this is a classic cliche about narccists
Notice how there was always a catch to her apologies: “She’s sorry she cheated but it was because work politics, she got to caught up in the lifestyle, her coworker seduced her and she was gonna use him” and “I’m so sorry, I’ll make it up to you, I want to spend time with you because you left me and didn’t give me time for closure”. Everytime she apologized she either suggested it was someone/something else’s fault or that OP also did a bad thing. Typically manipulative behavior
Dude, her entire apology was about how she felt. Not about taking responsibility, not acknowledging the man's feelings, her, her her.
She may even in her own head believe it all to. Some people not only use the victem excuse but even believe it to
She's a textbook narcissist. OP should stay as far away from her as possible, even get a restraining order against her if necessary. He should have *never* given her his new e-mail address, let alone agreed to go eat with her somewhere, as she will view any concession on OP's part as a sign of weakness and she will use tactics that try to exploit that weakness to get what she wants. Narcissists are so full of themselves that they can never admit that *they* were truly the one in the wrong, they can never accept responsibility for their own screw-ups. People like that are incredibly toxic, and you should stay as far away from them as possible. And if she keeps pestering and stalking you, which is extremely likely since narcissists crave any feeling of "control" they can get over their chosen victim, call the police and even try to get a restraining order put in place to keep her away from you, and if she violates that restraining order, make her face the consequences by reporting it to the police.
All she ever actually talked about was herself. She never once talked about OP's feelings, only her own. That is a huge red flag that you *SHOULD NOT TRUST HER* as there is an extremely high chance that she is lying and only saying what she thinks you want to hear.
@@gamester512 He broke it off originally perfectly to get away from a narcissist. Cold turkey, ghosting.
That’s because women can not accept accountability for their actions. They are like children. If a woman’s ego could take on a physical form it would sink an aircraft carrier.
Got emotional during the wife’s rant there bud, u good
Yeah it when hear their voice what hurt the most but remember that cougar baby cry it sound soft and gentle but hurts you when you get close. She wanted a better place to rent my guess and thought hey he'll accept me once I'm in front of him
@@jakeflake2498 what?
@@whiteobama3032 it's like all those emotions flood back when your in front of someone you didn't want see again
@@jakeflake2498 I lost brain cells trying to read this
You know ive just realized if a man did that it would be creepy as fuck talk about double standards
I’m glad he didn’t take the bait. Narcissists are notorious for this kind of behavior! They will cheat, then beg and plead, love-bomb you and claim they’ve changed. They will play victim so hard that your heart breaks for them and you just feel awful for not taking them back. So you end up taking them back out of pity. That’s what they want. Men get called simps because of this. It’s not the man who is the simp, it’s the woman playing victim and the guy is just too kindhearted to tell her to fuck off.
And that weak mentality can make your morals and principles become malleable.
Honestly the guy himself was pretty cool but if she wants to wait atleast a year then maybe
that is why they are considered simps, they were simple enough to manipulate, and that's the harsh truth about those kind of men, I wish them the best and hopefully find happiness
So true, u are right every word you said
Go to
What I find interesting in all of this is how the ex mentions all the ill things the affair had done to her, this strikes me as odd because in a way it makes you wonder that if things didn’t get sour for her at her job or with the man she was having an affair with if she would have continued and not looked for op.
I wonder about that as much as I wonder if the sun will rise in the East or West each morning.
Notice that she doesn't say all the ill she caused OP. I treated you poorly, lied to you, risked STDs, pregnancy, I only sort-of confessed after weeks, I kept spamming you while it was clear it was over and you didn't want to see me again, I hired a private investigator, I called you a coward, I waited months before accepting a divorce, I still won't leave you alone, I may have ruined your chances of children, I could be ruining any new relationship you might have, I ruined your relationship with my parents, I wasted years of your life, I likely destroyed your trust in marriage/women, I cost you large amounts of money, and... I'm here to ask you to listen to my woes and give me another chance with no assurances all this won't happen again.
I'm gonna bet she'd still be with the guy had it not gone sideways. Definitely. Paul did the right thing for sure
as an introvert, i'm quite surprised on how messed up society is
i thought society was rather normal, in a way with like less than 5% being like this or other stuff in your videos but considering how many videos you have with *not normal* stuff going on, this makes me question humanity
society is actually one of the reasons im a introvert
So true
The society is just normal. It's just that five percent of the world equals to a million people so yeah
This *IS* the "normal" of society. The values that you have which makes this weird is the reason you're not gonna fit in today's dating scene. The world is experiencing a steady decline in traditional values in exchange for a bustling consumerist hook-up culture.
@@Theseus7445 5% of the world is 400 million people. he will need many channels and a lot of time to cover it all
She can regret what she did all she wants.
Once a cheater always a cheater.
Move with your life you only get one
And it's not to be spent with unfaithful people like that.
You’re wrong.
Bout what? That she regrets it? That you only get 1 life? That once a cheater always a cheater? That you shouldn’t waste time on unfaithful people? Because to me those all seem relatively true. The once a cheater always a cheater is up for debate because I believe people can change. But based on her actions alone I doubt she has changed in any way. And while I believe people can change I also acknowledge it rarely happens and even IF it does you don’t owe anyone your time just because they changed
@@tommoore2012 hmmmmm seems like a cheater
@@casesater never been in a relationship. Try again
@@tommoore2012 then why is he wrong?
Please elaborate
"And she stupidly thought she was using him as much as he was using her" - That right there is a major sign that she's willing to be manipulative, even sexually, to get what she wants.
"I need time with you that you didn't give me before" - That statement there gives me a large red flag. Because I've had people use lines like that to try and guilt me into giving them time even when it would negatively influence my life and work - it's a... "Even though I'm wrong, you didn't do enough!" statement.
And consciously made the decision, disproving her argument that she was manipulated into it. This woman reminds me of my ex and I feel bad for this guy because I at least caught it early, but he was married and has more time probably invested in that.
Her entire apology was all about her. How she's actually a victim. How she deserves to be punished. It's not at all about how much she hurt him, is sorry and wants him to be happy.
@@drakesilmore3760 I can somewhat understand that perspective. It may rather reflect past experiences she's had before him. Showing she's had experiences or beliefs that the punishment, and the desire to punish her from doing wrong, was more important than his happiness. Perhaps even a perspective that he wants her to be punished more than he wants to be happy. Which that too is a bad sign as it means if she ever perceived him as doing something wrong, she'd likely choose to punish him even if it meant hurting herself.
I think the hardest thing about listening to this video is the fact that if I were in Paul's spot, I'd probably fall prey to what she said and give in.
Yeah i had situations like this although not with my Girlfriend but my dad where they fuck your life over and then guilt trip you into staying in contact and it all just repeats.
i learned it the hard way of several years of being miserable until i let go of it.
It is really easy to fall trap for something like that.
Did that once before the holidays... never again, might as well die alone at this point.
Yeah, i think i would fall too...
Yes I would've give in too.
the saddest thing is, I grew up under a manipulative, narcissistic mother. I even had the knowledge and willpower to force myself to leave her because I KNEW she was toxic and it was only hard because of how badly she'd gaslit me and manipulated me. Yet, despite that, I listened to this and thought to myself: "it probably won't work out, but I'd give her the _tiniest_ of chances... and cut her off at the slightest of problems"
and who knows. Despite that, I feel there's a good chance I'd fall into the cycle of excusing her actions, too.
"I need time with you that you didn't give me before" - To me that statement would hold as much water as a sieve. She cheated on him, took time they could have been together and spent it with another guy. It's impossible to spend time with someone you don't want to be around, and her sleeping with someone else is her not wanting to be around OP. She got caught and didn't want to face him until she could come up with some excuses to try to manipulate him into thinking it was his fault. When OP ghosted her she couldn't manipulate him. I'd bet my bottom dollar that she didn't even think about going back to OP until she lost her job and the guy she cheated with told her off. OP was just plan B, the safe place she thought she would be able to keep until he ghosted her. I'm so happy that OP didn't get back with her. Wish more people Males and females would act like OP.
Edit: I've found the first post he was talking about that shed even more light. The OP had tried to spend time with his ex but she would just blow him off to go to the "work outings", he did say he spent quite a bit of time away on business trips but he had shortened the amount he had taken to 3-4 days every 5-6 weeks for quite a while. She could have spent plenty of time with him but decided to cheat instead, even when he tried to spend time with her she would blow him off.
If someone cheats on a partner once, they can do it again. Take it from someone with more experience than any one human should ever have.
F for you bro
@@user-um1np8fx3j Much appreciated bro
May ya find happiness in yer life
@@Froggyman145 dude you have had a rough life
@@user-um1np8fx3j I misread that as “F you bro”
To be honest, he did the right thing having dinner with her. It actually gave him the closure he needed to begin a better life for himself. Without that encounter, he would have remained a hermit, because of unresolved emotions towards his ex.
It didnt gave OP any closure. When he tried to talk about the reasons why she did it she just activated the waterworks until he was too uncomfortable to ask anymore.
She talked about her feelings, about her consequences, about how crappy life is for her and asked exactly 0 times about how OP was feeling, how he was coping with the grief over his marriage, or anything about him at all.
She simply wanted to build sympathy and she did it. OP is back to the early stages of manipulation.
@@ChaosAngel667 Exactly. It would have been better if he hadn't exposed himself to it to begin with. Too much simping to this man's pimping.
“He did the right thing.”
Nah, the closure was when he watched her walk into a hotel to get D’d down by another man.
Some dudes just lack self respect and maybe even enjoy being a cuckybitch.
She is owed nothing, the dude owed it to himself to move on and see how long she can drain her bank account looking for him.
There’s no closure, you don’t owe her closure, unless you’re weak and can’t stand the idea of being alone so badly you will believe the cries of a cheater to stay together, which is pathetic.
If you stay with a cheater because you’re scared of being a “hermit” you’re a low-self esteemed cuck.
Love the way you change for the characters lol
I bet she’s using him as her own advantage, like work, as she no longer has a job.
I knew from the instant nthe ex showed up that the mutual friend had sold him out. The fact that she didn't know where he lived and didn't find him sooner proved it. A private investigator would've been able to narrow his location down to the point where she would've been able to find him the first time she traveled to his new town, probably before OP had even seen his ex at that coffee shop.
Paul , I am glad that you're moving on . I'm glad you know the golden rule , never take back a cheater !!!
It is so entertaining to hear you narrate stuff
Instead of reading in a monotone voice, you actually tell it like a story
Its great :D
Yea I’ve had relationships with women who had cheated, it happened then it was burned to the ground. I block everything, lose all numbers and associated friends and carry on with my life. It’s never bothered me as I present with sociopathic tendencies, there’s no loss of someone not being in my life anymore. Makes relationships very easy to get out of.
Agreed
Mate, your a grown man, I think most of these people are kids. I believe you shouldn’t talk about dates on this platform
I had a "girlfriend" who as it turned out that she was cheating on her actual boyfriend who was a guy I casually knew, and there was another guy who had made out with her. I broke up with her as I can't stand cheaters.
You mean that you have sociopathic tendencies?
@@mikeoxhuge8415 You’re*
" I need time with you that you didn't give me before " GHURL YOU DARE SAY AFTER YOU JUST CHEATED ON HIM AND BROKE HIS HEART??? WTF
If a man cheats, he's a scumbag
If a woman cheats, she has the right to make excuses
We live in a society
That happened to a friend of mine... Wife cheated and he tried to climb into a bottle but I dragged him out. Having been there myself at one point for different reasons... Anyway he had a massive "Glow up" lost weight, gained muscle and even landed a new Gig. She tried to come back and he shut her down. Don't let folks like that into your head, they're toxic and will try to ruin you.
The first story, cheating and having an affair is a complete deal breaker and practically unforgivable in my book.
“A snake will shed it’s skin to become a bigger snake” - Some quote I found on Instagram, don’t know who said it.
Love is love, if someone cheats on you, then they don’t truly love you and is doubting to love you. Don’t even get back with that person, because they will always have that thought again in the future and will eventually cheat on you again.
Love is love, doubt is doubt. They can never coexist with each other. Cheating is a choice, being loyal is not a choice, it’s a responsibility.
I have a different perspective about the last part. About me and my ex, and im the cheater. For context, my ex is older than me and has a few share of experience in college's party life, compared to my next to none experience.
She's my first gf, and i'm lovestruck, sure that she's the one. I know i want her to be with me for the rest of my life. Almost sure about it.
But at the same time, i was anxious. It's the start of my college life. My high school time is not so full of splendor. And i was planning to have a frat boy college lifestyle at first. She's the first girl i flirted with properly in my life and im not ready to make a lifelong decision, not before i have experience of romance and sex with other at least.
Few months into relationship, i met a girl who's clearly interested in me and i flirted with her. Nothing much, not even a hug, but me and my ex categorized it as cheating. I kinda enjoying it, but it felt wrong at the same time. Not how i imagined it to be, not as fun for sure.
I stop the flirting after a week, and confess to her after another week. It creates lot of crack in the relationship, but it worked out after a lot of work (we broke up for completely different reason).
I can say confidently that i've never thought of cheating on her ever again for the course of the relationship. And i become more open about my desire to fuck other women beside her LOL. Not that im doing anything she doesn't know or doesn't approve. Until the end she doesn't consent to open relationship and im okay with that, though we share our porn history a lot.
The main point is, love and doubt can coexist. And one of them can prevail over the other. Not without some drama from my experience.
Tl;dr i cheated, confessed, repent, and never done that again
"love is love" not necessarily. there is a difference between romantic love and sexual love.
I give dollars to donuts her new job is close to where the guy she cheated with was relocated by her former employer.....
"Is this normal?" The feeling? definitely. The bolting to another part of the country spontaneously without a trace in less time than it takes to fart? not so much.
No grace for cheaters
people who cheat on their partner should never be given a second change or even respect
treat them like they are
subhuman
Ill keep saying this...
In any moment you suspect a former cheating spouse hires a PI to reconnect and you do not want to, you need a lawyer and an emergency no contact order.
Once the PI sees that he has no choice but to drop the client.
When someone claims to love you, yet can be seduced by another, they only love you in words , but are not "in love" with you. A person will never be your soul mate once they've cheated on you....guaranteed. Good on you to leave her and move on.
I absolutely do not support cheating. Thankfully, I don’t know anyone who has experienced it. But, there is a psychological factor. What she did was wrong, and there is no excuse, but I know what she means when she says she hated herself. I know many people who have experienced this. After doing something they regret, or even during it, they have described hating themselves. They described it as feeling horrible about what they’ve done, and wanting to stop, but not being able to. That might be a problem with her. She still never should have done it and it is inexcusable, but I see the psychological picture.
You don't cheat on your partner for months on end and suddenly end up hating themselves over it for when it comes to light. They hate that they got caught.
@@electroeel148 Fair point
I love listening to this channel. Great delivery and commentary at the end. However these videos are literally giving me anxiety attacks and I can't stand it 😭
I think that cheating lady has a really bright future in acting. She should probably try to get a role in some Spanish soap opera.
Damn, it's so sad seeing how people banalizes the phrase "I love you" to the point where you hear it and don't really know if it's true or not. It seems that Americans do that more than other countries but still sad nonetheless.
If you spouse can cheat once , doesn't mean she/ he will never cheat again, so for me you need to dodge if he/ she want to become together again
I believe in change but if you cheat the person is entitled to split ways, even if they wont again it doesnt matter, whats done is done. It might just be me but i have major trust issues, im not telling why i have the trust issues its really personal.
@@randomperson1301 that my point, unless that people are had problem in mind
@@mohdhafiz9955 Yep someone who cheats can change just not in the same relationship, they broke his trust so meh.
If I break up without telling them or on bad terms, if they find me, just a straight up No to everything they say
They ask if I want to get back together: No
They love me: Then you wouldn't have cheated
They want to go out to eat: No
Why am I rejecting "The love" of my life so coldly: Because I have no more love for you
I mean then again the wife also tried to get a divorce
The thing is with cheaters, they never see how much they hurt you, I forgave mine, but we have almost 16 years together. I did tell him that if it happens again I am done, and he will never see me again.
I have cheated once, when I got cheated on not once, twice, but three times. I then not only knew what i did to them, I knew how horrible i was. I promised myself I'd never make another person feel that way again. Karma does come for those who mess up...and karma hit me in spades. I deserved it too. But I can grow, I've learned from it. I know the pain it causes. Never again. Not to someone I am with. It's been tough, but I'm glad to say I've not had errant thoughts about another woman since I've gotten with my SO.
There is no feeling worse for someone than being cheated on, pray you never have to go through being cheated on, choose who you be with wisely and make sure they do actually love you.
There's really no excuse for cheating, he should have given her more hope before knocking her down.
He didn't have to do anything after that
@@SirSmittys10 I know but I'm petty
@@eroticjuice8336 bruh what 💀💀💀
So true
@@hero303-gameplayindonesia8 lmao i hate to admit this is something i would do
there is a reason the saying "once a cheater always a cheater" is literally everywhere.
It was kinda funny how the narrator was saying what the wife said as if he was rehearsing for a play with his friend at school
A similar thing happened to me. My ex just didn’t understand why I didn’t want to talk to her anymore.
Had an ex who reached out to me a couple of years later to apologize, and one of the FIRST things I said is "I'm fine with being friendly with you, but we will NEVER get back together."
Somehow i get the feeling that all she said is true but what if it wasn't and you still restart and she does the exact same that's why breaking it off is always the best choice ,trust is key to a relationship
Props to this dude for such good voice acting and narration.
If there's no trust, there's no love. Please don't lie to yourself. Things will always falls apart when there's no trust.
I'll be blunt. OP should stay as far away from his Ex as possible. There's a nearly 100% chance that she is lying and is only trying to get back together to satiate her own ego. She is a textbook narcissist. Take note of how even when she was "apologizing", she always had an excuse for all of her faults, and never actually accepted that *she* was the one to blame for anything, it was always someone or something else's fault. That in and of itself is a huge red flag. Cut her off, and do not interact with her anymore. If she refuses to leave you alone, call the police and have her arrested for stalking and harassment, and if you deem it necessary, request a restraining order.
She doesn't really care about OP, only her own ego and the feeling of control she has over OP whenever he gives in to her requests/demands. She is an extremely toxic and unhealthy influence, and involving yourself with her again will only make matters worse and could lead to a repeat of you having to move just to get away from her again. If she contacts OP again, he should make it clear in no uncertain terms that she is not welcome in his life anymore, and if she continues to stalk and harass him, he will get the police and courts involved as necessary to make sure she stays away from him.
OP's Ex doesn't truly love OP, she just sees him as a victim that she can control and manipulate, and with him leaving her, she has lost that feeling of control over him and she wants it back desperately. Stay away from her, and *do not* give in to her requests, no matter how much she tries to guilt-trip you or otherwise, it's all little more than her trying to manipulate and control you. It's likely that if OP completely cuts her off, she may then try to resort to trying to turn OP's friends and relatives against him and make them take her side, so OP should tell his friends and family to not trust a word that comes out of her mouth, as she is just manipulating them, because she wants to put OP into an increasingly unpleasant position so that he feels like he has "no choice" but to take her back.
I have a relative who’s still with her spouse despite him cheating on her. My guess is she dealt with it; made her decision; and rationalized everything herself before sharing the news with the family because we were all very vocal about our hope for that relationship to end but she wouldn’t budge. It’s been years since we found out. Both of them still communicate semi-regularly with everyone. Everyone’s being very cordial during these interactions and I haven’t heard anyone ever bringing it up again. I’m not going to speak for anyone else but me, personally? It’s still the most prominent thought in my mind any time either of them come up. I know it’s ultimately her life to live and as a family, we don’t want to overstep our bounds and destroy our relationship by pushing too hard. The best we can do is make ourselves clear and respect her decision. I just never thought that respecting someone’s decision could be a continuous thing.
9:54
"She said: You fell for it you fool! Thunder Cross Split Attack!!!"
Nomonono budy, you didn't broke her heart, she was devastated because she was suddenly alone. She's narcissistic, she doesn't care about you but about herself
I thought that my girlfriend of 7 years cheating on me was a dealbreaker. But i realised i knew all along that she was the cheating type and i (sadly) accepted it. And i also realised that i could try forgive (like the wife said, with conseling and lot of talking). And she is the one to say no, because she saw how much it destroyed me the first time and know she will do it again, because, for her, it is easier to cheat than face her couple problem. (And yes, in the context she said it, i believe she told the truth).
So here i am, in love with my ex, that love me back, but no futur because she do not trust herself over her faithfullness (with reason).
It is just sad
I liked the story. But I couldn't fully forgive someone who cheats on me. I would see them as possible friend but nothing more.
yeah op in the first story is stupid
Bruh if I was this guy I would of just turned my back and walked away when she tried to talk to him
In relation to the first story I have my own experience. So I was engaged to a girl I was head over heals for. However 4 months into that she broke up with me for someone who reminded her of my best friend. Want to clarify it wasn't my best friend. After not talking to her for over a year she messaged me one night basically saying all of the same things that was said in the story. I told her I wasn't going back and there was nothing to persuade me to come back. I forgave her a long time ago but she broke my heart and turned it to stone. I'm single now and living the best life I can. Though it does hurt being alone.
Similar situation to what i went thru with my ex, she left me for the dude that beat on her, has CP charges and the like, the minute she left i ended up sleeping with her sister, and her best friend the next day maybe im just vindictive but her tears when she found out tasted so much better than i could have imagined
@@imethdup5050 I really couldn't get back at my ex like that considering in 21 and her sister was way to young as well as all her friends. But what she experience from all the other guys she cheated on and dated was the epitome of karma
@@Warden5490 lucky my ex was 23 her best friend was 22 her sister was 18, im 26. Do me dirty i do ya dirtier
@@imethdup5050 when I say too young. I mean her sister was 14 and her friends were like 15. I ain't looking for jail time m8
"Get rid of that old baggage-" I hope he was referring to his ex cause I can't stop laughing!
She cheated in the end and he caught her and she didn’t even consider his feelings and just thought she could go back with no consequences
damn cuh this is truly a sad story but good for you for not breaking though, that must have taken your entire being.
glad you could be civil too.
4th and this was good
" You're the only one I want! "
Right now...
Listening to this guy talk and do impersonations is hilarious.
To quote someone "cheating is not a single mistake; there are a practically a thousand moments that you can come to your senses and stop."
"If you know you can stop, but you don't then you must accept the consequences of your actions."
Run far and run fast! Stay away from her for your own good.x
Paul is hilarious guy. i know because how he explain his story make me laugh and interested at sametime LMAO
Cant trust a cheater. My first ex fiance slept with my friends, their sisters..and their fathers, possibly my own father as well. Even drove one friend to suicide.
If I were the OP, I probably would've forgiven her already. respect to the OP \o/
Story 1: She was only sorry she got caught, Never Forgive. Never Forget.
forgive but never forget so u can find peace
I have something to say about this story: No no DON'T FEEL guilty about this. SHE destroyed y'all's marriage not you, hell don't even consider her a friend. I say this because my 10th grade Girlfriend did this to me so I can see where the OP is coming from.
If I was in that situation, I would probably get back together with her slowly, so she would not suspect that I would just leave after she gets a new marriage proposal from me.
The best revenge is when hope turns into despair. I would take my sweet time making sure that revenge is ripe.
Not everyone has the patience to pull that off.
sounds pretty psychopathic if you dont have any stakes in ending the marriage. most of the juicy revenge stories are because children are involved and the husband needs to make sure he has sole custody, or she could ruin his reputation easily.
I know the revenge fantasy is cool and all, but actually living it is hell and I dont wish it upon anyone
The the we said Paul the first time made me sub
I didn't like this story. I hate stories where the cheated-on person is kind to their cheating ex.
"My ex-wife stalked me, ran up to me, and made excuses. I hugged her and told her we could be friends one day."
Fuck that. I'm glad OP didn't reconcile with her, but I genuinely wish he was only cold to her. I'd have preferred if, when she ran across the street to greet him, he shouted "Get the fuck away from me!", went home, and filed for a restraining order.
All I could hear in my head with the P.I. story was this: (SIREN) STALKER ALERT!! STALKER ALERT!! STALKER ALERT!!
When i heard him go "i had a big beard and let my hair hang to my shoulders" all i could see was a big guy in a black tank top blue jeans brown work boots and black sun glasses and built like a guy who hits the gym almost 3 times a week
Idk why i saw that image in my head
Damn bro, she pulled out every single stop to attempt to manipulate him
This guy can mimic so many voices
She didn't feel sorry at all. She was cornered by all the crap she took after that. She was literally striped out from her old job and had to took a new one as OP said in the final update. She wasn't sorry, she see OP got better, better position, better look, better everything, and try to sneak her way into that.
I was in this position and it made me reject 3 people that I liked the most. It's not the girls were cheating bitches but it was bc I couldn't simply trust them.
My ex cheated, I caught her in my bed with another man. I got pissed off, she broke a glass vase over my head from behind to let the other guy leave. While I was in the hospital she emptied my bank accounts and left the country. (About 1 million in total cash) in about 3 months I got an international call at work, it was her. She loves me, she’s sorry please help her (I assume the money was gone) blah blah blah. Can anyone guess how that call ended? Lol fast forward 2 weeks, the police show up and I get called into an office. 2 uniform cops and 2 detectives, have hey ask me me a bunch of stuff about her etc (because the system is slow on the divorce because she’s not in the country and they can’t contact her for her side of the documents) so we are still technically married. But there are charges placed against her for the 60 plus stitch’s in my head and the hospital stay and theft from the pervious incident. (I admit btw that F’ing hurt) they ask if I had been in contact recently with her and I explained SHE called me other than that I wanted nothing to do with her. The next words I will always remember, the detective said “so she was still alive at that point then” he then pulled a picture out of an envelope and said “is this your wife” as I looked at this deformed bloated body in the photo, “yep that’s her” a large sum of money was withdrawn from her account several days before she called and a week later her body was found. After all the other questions and details were done I was told that they wanted ME to pay for her return to the country. Ha ha ha, no. With the prof of her death the divorce was immediately approved by circumstances and I was free and clear. Did I feel bad? Not really, am I jerk because she took everything from me, almost killed me and then got her self killed because whatever plan she had failed? I don’t think so.
"She may cheat on them too", oh she will definitely do that, cause it clear from her actions and words that she has learned next to nothing from this whole ordeal... I feel sorry for the fool that ends up with her next.
Tbh I'm watching the gaming
Bruh when she asked if she could take you out to dinner I said out loud... "HELL YEAH, I WOULD LOVE A FREE MEAL" and after the meal I would have said "Thanks for the free meal random lady I have no idea who you are byyeee..." BOOOMMM
I feel it’s easier to come back from a simple relationship if someone cheated. But marriage is another thing. The vows you exchange and the promise you make to each other is the reason that marital affairs are a different kind of betrayal. It’s like your family betraying you. You can forgive them but you will never forget.
I've Gone Through A Similar Experience... Twice. But I Have A Personal Philosophy... If I Go "Back" It Means I Never Progressed... And Won't. So I Don't Look Back. But I Have Been The Other Man In Those Circumstances. But I Eventually Stopped Those Too.
I felt like I was watching a telenovela
We don't forgive cheating, well. Like, at all.
But this is a scary reality we could potentially face?
I would not last in a relationship someone would play me like a fool
From experience, I would not get back with her even if she said she would never cheat. For me honestly is key and saying your not gonna do something then do it months later (my ex said for our entire relationship that she would never cheat) well early 2020 she did)
The first story was just a roller coaster for sure
I would be threatening to sue Stacy for BREACHING HIS TRUST.
If OP was a woman, they would probably even win. But sadly, men get fewer protections under the law.
I do NOT agree with cheating. I don’t like it & don’t encourage it. But I do think people make mistakes. I’m not saying this is for ALL CHEATERS but I do think mistakes happen & you can forgive. It takes a lot of time & patience to get that forgiveness. And as long as BOTH people are 100% in on making it work & forgiving (each other & selves), proving it was a mistake & proving forgiveness, it’s possible.
7:30 ok, SCREW. THAT. She’s saying this as if she’s a victim, too. She ain’t. She messed up, she cheated, she was in the wrong, she is literally harassing OP, and thinking that crawling back and begging will make him forgive her. Hell naw. Good on OP. Once a cheater, always a cheater. OP isn’t a chump, he’s a more charitable man that a lot of us would be. He certainly isn’t a “beta male pill thing whatever”. And with that update, she was literally gonna try and pluck OP up and put him in a new place with no connections but her. Are you KIDDING me? That poor bastard, she was gonna try and isolate him, I bet dollars to donuts on that.
I mean, cheating is ultra wrong and i wouldnt forgive her, but i wanted to see a reconciliation between those 2. Of course, under my apparently too innocent and completly without experience in relashionships view point
If she loves you so much….why step out?
Everybody: hearing the story
Me: watching insane parkour skills in the background
Whatever she says that's all B.S DON'T TAKE HER BACK BAD IDEA NEVER TELL STACY WHERE YOU AT
Story 1, NTA, in your circumstances, your behaviour was optimum, your vulnerability would be relatives she could stake out. Why throw emotional energy away on a tramp, go your own way without a backward glance.
i mean ofc she loved you tahts why she cheated she loved your charisma that's why she got attracted to other mans charisma and ofc she never cheated on you that's why she slept with another man
Yeah, right... "I love you so much"... lady, if you really loved him you wouldn't have cheated in the first place
If find it hard to tell what I had done from a written story. First of all I do believe in second chances, not just in that case but in general. No one is perfect; everybody does some bad things in his life. But I am 100% convinced that people can change, I don’t believe in “once a xyz, always a xyz” at all. However, that does not mean that everyone actually does change to the better. So I think if that happened to me, I would need a lot of time to think about it. If I can clearly see that she regrets her cheating and feels miserable not for me leaving her but for what she did, then I would say “ok, you did something wrong, I also did some wrong things in my life (not cheating but anyway), let’s move on as if it never happened” but this true repentance is something I find hard to tell from a written story I have not been involved in or even witnessed. She said it was because of work politics, this sounds like justifying the cheating. For me to forgive her I would need to hear her saying (not the exact words but something like that) “Yes, I cheated. There is no justification or excuse, I did something very wrong and I am sorry for it. I don't deserve your forgiveness, I can only ask for it” The first step to changing your mistakes is always to confess to yourself that you and you alone have done something wrong and that there is no justification for it.
In my mind, a good relationship is built on 3 pillars: trust, respect and communication. She cannot be trusted to have the self control to stay faithful. She did not have the respect to divorce her husband before starting a new relationship and she did not communicate if there were any issues in their marriage. Regardless of chemistry, since all 3 pillars were thoroughly shattered, she would no longer be a partner I would consider. She openly admitted she was using her affair partner, things fell apart and then she came back with her tail between her legs because she realized how good she had it. She is likely using the OP as well, dressing up to be seductive and with a sob story to use emotional blackmail on him. I do not think forgiveness is wise in this situation, the OP should move on and find someone else.
It's actually very complicated. You're not the jerk, you made the right call but it sounds so cold from a third party. This is what I mean. What happened to me was I was dating a girl and 5 months in I found out she was cheating on me. I confronted her about it, she said she was sorry and wouldn't do it again. I forgave and forget. Big mistake. About a month later I found out she cheated again with 2 guys. I let both of them know what was going on, beat one of them and dumped my ex. After that she begged for me back. As much as my gut wanted her back I knew she'd just hurt me again so I refused. Funniest and depressing part was when Valentines Day rolled around a graph was passed around school and she was most compatible with me yet that day both of us were alone. It kinda hurt that a quiz everyone took said that statistically we were meant to be together yet we had our shot and this school had 500 students.
If you don’t mind me asking, what’s the game playing in the background? The one where you run across the trucks