Fentanyl Addict interview - John
Вставка
- Опубліковано 20 вер 2024
- Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of John, a fentanyl addict on Skid Row.
Here's a link to donate to help some of the people seen in SWU interviews: gofund.me/b68e...
Here’s a link to audio only versions of SWU videos: asmrdb.fanlink...
Here's how to purchase the Soft White Underbelly book: softwhiteunder...
Thank you everyone for your support I’m 7 months sober and really facing my demons right now
That is wonderful! Please keep up the good work and get help dealing with your demons!
That is awesome ! Sending you love and support from France ! Keep the good work, so happy to hear you re OK ❤
Hell yes, one day at a time buddy! 😊🙌🏼
That’s awesome 👏. I’m on my journey and it’s so difficult 😞 I’m trying to break completely free thank you for your story my fellow musician 🎶💯☝️🫶🏽
Sooo proud of you, you're obviously a great person, I wish you a great life my friend ❤️
John is so much like my son. He had been in rehab for almost 14 months, got kicked out in July 2021. My wife and I have been married for over 41 years and he was 36, as our first son. Our child had been in rehab a number of times and we have tried everything humanly possible, but this last time we decided to do the tough love approach. We knew in our heart that he could make it through this tough patch in his life, we just knew it would work if he pulled himself up from a terrible situation. I believed that he could do it and finally he would be a success against heroin and crack. And he was a success against his historical adversaries. He died 9/6/2021 with no heroin or crack in his system, but he had Meth and Xanax in his system and had a cardiac arrest and never again woke up. His kidneys saved two lives, a 21 year old woman, and a 27 year old woman with a child. I’m typing through my tears, and sincerely hope John is able to succeed where my son did not, and I hope John’s mother and father never ever have to see their beautiful son in a coffin like I saw my son. God Bless you John and keep fighting hard!!!
Sorry for your loss 🙏🏽
I'm so sorry for your loss :( I appreciate you for sharing his story.
So sorry for your loss. Addiction is so hard for everyone involved.
💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
Im so sorry for your loss. Love to you and your family❤️
The worst part is, it sounds like this young man just wanted his parents to spend more time with him.
That's right, he needed raw, sincere love, attention, and time with his parent, not just direction and money
Ya and they were too busy chasing money. John might be the "fkd" up one, but his family has the black hearts.
I didn’t take it well when Mike said he had it easy. Poor with loving parents is better than this any day.
True, and all can go to shit if you don’t have that.
That part
"I had a pretty good childhood..." Also.... I was raised by strangers that didn't speak English, and I didn't have many friends, and my parents weren't around... No, you were neglected and didn't get your basic needs met. You deserved unconditional love and attention from your parents. Period. I wish you healing and love!
Same thing happened to me, minus a trust fund
jesus christ...perfect example of spoiled millennial right here with @redbhdfw. Thinking they are entitled to the world and everything in it just for being born.
yeah, unfortunately the interviewer didn't cotton on to this during the interview, but guaranteed that's what sucked him into drugs/fentanyl
@@Pyraus Mark should've acknowledged this. Telling John he had a 'good childhood' when he evidently he was lacking in love and attention (as mentioned above) from his parents. He needed to be nurtured....
I mean his parents were working all the time. It happens to many kids everyday where the parents are working hard so they get stuck with a babysitter or a different family member. At the time, you don’t understand it but when you get older, you become grateful because you then realize what they were working so hard for.
“Knocked over a vase turned out to be plastic didn’t even break.” 😭😭😭😭 certain parts of this interview was hilarious. In all seriousness I pray this man finds sobriety and healing.
😆😆😆
And he’s so fineee 😩
This guy is a douche bag. No clue about the real struggle.
@@raygodwin3496 he is, but he doesn't know how not to be! Kinda like a kid raised in the projects, where the only role models for boys are pimps and drug dealers! Those kids grow up to sell drugs and gang bang, and trust fund drug addicted kids are douchbags with entitlement issues. What really saves him in my eyes is he's real! He does take some responsibility, and at least recognizes his position. I hope the best for him, I hope he finds what the universe means him to do, and I hope that he finds love and peace.
🤣🤣🤣
Emotional neglect is a thing. You can have "rich" parents but still be neglected emotionally.
See Montana Fishburne 🤔
There you go feeding into that victim mentality. He had all the tools, his own words he just chose not to appreciate the circumstances place in front of him
@@erichunt9837 in fairness, not appreciating circumstances and being emotionally neglected is not mutually exclusive 🤔
Yep. Product of that here ↩️👊👏🏽
Totally!! I had Christian parents who were happily married for 42 years (before my mom passed).. They were best friends and never fought once. There was no physical or sexual abuse in my home....no alcohol, drugs, or adultery either. However, my parents were emotionally stunted and never connected to me emotionally. They were there but not there if that makes sense. It definitely was a dysfunctional home because of this.
the amount of people who know john is INSANE. this man might be the main character doing the side quests 😂😂😂
I swear😹…I’m currently scrolling through the comments literally one in three starts w “I remember John”
He certainly spins a good story . He’d make a good politician or Big Pharma / big Tobacco CEO.
I’m just wondering what happened to his trust fund and how he ended up homeless . Doesn’t add up .
@@flosonasty7320 Trust funds are paid yearly for life .. not sure ? Or the dude is complete fantasist .. who knows ?
ikr lol
@@astroemerald3175 that’s not always true. Trusts are set up differently for everyone.
I just lost my son to fentanyl overdose 1 month ago. Watching this has helped me understand his demons a little bit more. Thank you for your transparency and honesty. It helped me as I try to understand what was going on in his beautiful, edgy and complicated mind.
wow my apologies. ill pray for you and i hope with all my heart that you stay strong and heal
I’m so sorry. Praying for you.
So sorry for you. Your in my prayers!!!!
Praying for you
🙏🏻
I know John personally from when we both lived in Charlotte. John is so talented! He didn’t even mention this, but not only is he an artist with music but he is incredibly gifted at drawing/painting too. He has so many talents dude. It’s sad watching him slowly screw his life up when I know he could go so damn far if he cared to. I don’t think the damage of hanging around the wrong ppl is talked about enough.
Thanks for giving us more information that’s cool to know. Once you take away the vines from the addict you will see the genius come out
Can I ask how old you guys are? He looks vaguely familiar to me too, and I grew up on Charlotte too... But he doesn't look quite old enough, so maybe just looks like someone else to me :)
@Rachel Boyle Oh thank you so much! I didn't hear him say it in the beginning (like usual?) but I could've just missed it :)
It's the damage of childhood trauma not hanging around with people, that trauma is what causes the pain and hence the addiction, there is only one way out, the sooner therapies with psychedelics are legal the better.
He so fine too damn
Emotional neglect is a very deep trauma. You can have money, food, house etc. But if no one at home sees you, spends time with you, talks with you about your problems and understands you, then it is extremely hurtful. Wish you all the best on your recovery
Exactly.. not simple
True, especially for babies and children
if emotional neglect is a trauma, all kids grow up in old days have this.
@@annabelle4757 The word (and concept) of trauma is very much overused/misused these days.
Thank you for raising this. It is well researched that emotional, psycho-social neglect is actually worse than other kinds of abuse.
I was in rehab with John. Guys a trip. Glad to see him alive and cognitive
That’s crazy. I hope you’re doing well. One addict to another 🙏🏼😏
@@kelseyzimmerman6968 I'm good. Been clean for years now. Got a family and a good life. I am blessed. Thanks for the kind words
@@alphaq6585 what were you an addict to
@@startingtech3900 euphoria
@@alphaq6585 crack?
I love how Mark just let’s these people talk and doesn’t interrupt. He lets them tell their stories completely unfiltered
I could not agree more he takes underbelly straight to the belly of the real beast!! He has a talent! Actually he has many talents! Producing, directing, writing, editing.. I watched him on a podcast not too long ago and you can tell that he's such a genuine person it takes an incredible amount of courage to take on the mental health issues of this country!. And he does it so masterfully! Without pointing any fingers! He uses his cameras!! BRILLIANT MAN!!
PEACE OUT!
Agree 💯 and is also very honest with the people he interviews. 🥰
That is exactly how journalism should be....
@@sharonallen6332 100 💯 agreed transparency will fix mental health!! "Never stop talking about mental health!!!"
Peace and we'll being too all people!! I advocate for all things good! "Never stop talking about mental health"
I would love to see an interview on parents of addicts like John.
Yes!!
Hell yes.
I fear a lot of them would not take responsibility, although not wrong…in their minds I’m sure they thought they did “everything right”.
This guy is lying . Lol
His girlfriend he mentioned earlier in the story told the truth about him in the comments. His story does add up . I think Mark is letting him talk . You can’t believe everyone on here about their family. Turns out many times the family did try to help and they didn’t want it .
You know it's sad cause in my opinion John's parents wouldn't because they have so much money they wouldn't want him to ruin their reputation
Kinda made me sad when the interviewer said 'sounds like you had a great childhood'. He literally just told him that he was emotionally neglected and yet he 'had a great childhood' because he didn't get beaten or assaulted or whatever bad things happen to kids. Emotional neglect is a very complicated trauma (speaking from experience trying to work through my own childhood ) because it was often unintentional and invisible from the outside world. It's had impact on relationships with people throughout my whole life, and left me with a lot of anger and unexplained sadness. Children dealing with being emotionally neglected might not have bruises and they might have all of their needs met, but they can be hurting psychologically just as much.
100% agree. Sending you hugs from another neglected child (physically abused till the age of 16 and pshycologycally abused till the age of 27).
I also think emotional neglect leads to no self confidence and a lot of self destuction, because you don't know you should treat yourself better. I wish him all the best on his journey X
Noticed this in another video as well. Someone was describing in detail his childhood trauma, where the dad was very verbally abusive and had anger issues and the interviewer just said "ah so just a little drama in your childhood sometimes".
❤️
That’s a really good point. When he said ‘so you had a pretty good childhood’, I thought, well that’s a somewhat sweeping and dismissive statement considering the guy just told you his parents were never around and he was raised by nannies who barely spoke English. I felt bad for him because I got the impression he feels like he has no right to say he was unhappy. I got the ‘you’re so ungrateful’ speech from my father a lot when I was upset about anything. It’s damaging and carries through into adulthood. You carry on feeling ungrateful. You can hear it in nearly everything he says.
"I had all the tools to be a happy child" - tools don`t make you a happy child, parents who give you enough attention so you don`t have to be brought up by maids who barely speak your language do. Neglect looks different from the outside when it comes to wealthy families, but the results are the same - trauma, self harm, being incapable of connecting with yourself.
I completely agree.
Very true
Exactly all this! Thank you for saying it!
Sometimes is about mental health too, not necessarily parenting.
To be the Devil's advocate: His two siblings were professionals who were successful in their lifes so the parents shouldn't be blamed entirely for his problems.
I really admire his brutal honesty. I hope he can find peace within himself, emotional neglect is an awful thing to suffer.
This whole thing is a lie though…
@@Tb37127 exactly. This dude is full of shit, still fronting, still pretending, still putting on a show. He's still not humbled, nor is he ready to learn and grow.
What whole thing is a lie? @@Tb37127
@@Tb371275% of what comes out of this dude’s mouth is the truth. The ultimate pretty boy bullshitter. Only clowns think this dude is for real.
Working my way through the SWU videos and boom!!! John!! We met on the train in LA 4+ years ago when he saw some men trying to get too close to me (and I guess he saw that I was visibly uncomfortable). Very grateful John was there and stepped in as a friend immediately. We spoke the whole ride about his life, NYC, modeling, addiction… His personality is one that sticks with you so I’ve often wondered where his life has taken him since we last spoke. So glad to see he’s alive and sharing his story with the world. Sending all love and light his way!!
This is so sweet to hear and I guess makes me not question my feeling of “in spite of it all he seems like a good guy” feeling. I’m glad he was there for you. I hope the best for this guy
and you fkd him
Cut the crap. If he wasn't good looking you would be uncomfortable with him as same as with those men who were "trying to get too close" to you.
That's awsome he was there for you when you needed help and he is a very reachable guy, I wish the best for him.
sweet that he positively touched a lot of peoples lives in these comments actually
He needs to let go of who he was and what he had, and realize where he is, and make a comeback.
Easier said then done. He needs help. It’s possible but it can be hard to do it all on your own.
Yea he definitely can still make it. But it’s a whole mind thing
You right m8,thinking of the past trying to 're live the past would bring depression as obviously it won't work
This was my issues. I tried getting clean multiple times and would always end back on the street.
I’ll never forget the epiphany of letting go of who I was. It was like a million pounds lifted off me . I’ve been sober two years almost since
But he never was...this is a lonely person. This is lack of love.
Emotional neglect in childhood is a huge trauma! Not having guidance, boundaries & parenting in childhood is a huge trauma. Being spoiled by parents is a form of abuse because it doesn’t prepare a child for adulthood & real life. It’s important to recognize our traumas so we know where we need to heal ourselves. As adults, it’s our responsibility to heal ourselves…we can provide the attention, love, nurturing, presence, significance, guidance, encouragement, boundaries, etc to ourselves…we can provide parenting to ourselves in the present moment that we never received and we can heal and grow ourselves up. Wishing John all the best! Thank you for another great interview Mark!
Thank you, it's the worst because its unseen. You hurt with no proof. And everybody wants receipts. Consciously, it's not the trauma people are running from, its health. It doesn't feel right not to hurt.
Self-Sabotage, how am I gonna mess this up? Something put that narrative in the mind. That nurture is fleeting and its exit will be our fault.
It's ok if I think that bc true or not it gives me the power to fix it now that I actually know what I'm doing.
You may be right but I don’t think that’s johns experience. He was a quintessential little shit who is weak because he’s never faced resistance.
Yess growing up my parents spoiled me with money, it really made a negative impact on my adult life, took me a very long while to even recognize I’m always using victimhood and dependent mindset, and failed through everything I did in life, cuz I always have backup plans, really constantly take efforts for me to change my patterns
🧠🧠🧠
very true
we’re so proud of you!! sobriety is a journey and can take many attempts, so don’t forget to give yourself the grace you deserve. we’re all rooting for you dude!!!
Almost 2 months clean from fentanyl, without suboxone. It’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but more worth it than anything. Hope all these souls can get clean one day.
That is awesome!!!! So happy for you 💓
Damn, what a warrior!! I can't even imagine
Keep your head up! Get far away from the lifestyle...move, change your number, everything. Stay connected to ppl who are sober and don't give up. It's okay if you have to take suboxone if this way doesn't work. Its better than being in the streets hustling for your next fix. Good luck to you and don't give up, even if you slip up. Just keep it pushin'. ❤
Congratulations my goodness that's awesome!!!!!
Hope you still going , you got this , God bless you ❤️👊
You can tell he just wants to be accepted and listened to. The neglect of attention from his parents seems to have him stuck as a child almost. His mannerisms are even that of a young boy at times. Wishing him healing and sobriety and a life of happiness in his future.
ADHD...
Bro don't die at 27, that's all I'm saying. It's not worth it, keep going and be remembered for not giving up.
@JUN UNDERCOVER I was just about to ask the same thing, lol. Lovely comment, though.
Best comment on here
27 club?
@seabeast I don't believe in coincidence tho.
This can't be stressed enough, but there will become a time in every kid's life where their friends will become infinitely more influential than their parents or family. It is up to parents to instill in their kids that they choose the right friends and make the right choices from a young age. . .
To a certain degree yes but parents can't be there all the time and only control their kids up to a certain age. I had the best parents and upbringing I could possibly ask for. I didn't miss a thing during my childhood but my personality got me in trouble. I was too curious for my own good and wasn't satisfied with the "normal" kids.
My problems started first when I moved from home when I was 18-19. Before that I did the normal stuff young guys do when they make trouble. And it wasn't until I was 23-24 that I started with heavy drugs and eventually fell into a heroin addiction. When I told my parents about it they did everything in their power to get me out of it. My point is parents can only do so much even if they do everything correct their child can still fuck up part of their life.
Well said
You are so right.
I taught my kids you are who you hang around with. But some kids have to learn the hard ways . My grown children had told me & there day they wish they would of listen to us. God gives us all a path in life we should walk thur .some just walk the wrong path🤔
"Birds of the same feather flock together."
The look in his eyes the moment he says, "force my dad to fly out to come and see me" just absolutely broke my heart. You see the pain flash across for just a second, and then he tamps it down where he's more comfortable with it. Where most of us addicts are more comfortable with our pain. Either ignoring it or covering it up.
😿😿😿😿
But good sir, it is not his dad's fault that he is getting in trouble it is his own. He is a typical addict blaming his problems on someone...believe me I know I'm a recovering addict. Life's not fair, my dad didn't spend a whole lot of time with me, but I finally figured out my dad didn't make me a narcissistic asshole...I did...my daddy didn't lie to everyone around me...I did. One day this KID will realize he has to point those fingers back at himself if he wants to get better. I don't feel a bit sorry for him...if he wasn't such a self indulged God complexed piece of...maybe daddy would have been there a little more.
@@allencarey7336 Good for you, sounds like you've got it all figured out, there. But I think you missed the point entirely, and instead made it all about you─typical of a histrionic narcissist.
Edit: You're projecting. Not everyone lives your life, your situation, and though we all suffer similar issues, and especially on drugs, none of that is quite as unique as we'd like to think, my point was that, despite all of that, in the moment it was apparent to me that he is saddened by not seeing his father. Whether he's the same kind of attention whore as you are is irrelevant to the point of my post─that he is in pain.
@@AlphaMachina actually I do have it "all" figured out and it took me A HELL OF A LONG TIME TO FIGURE IT OUT!! So yeah I do take a bit of pride in that...the fact that I did figure it out and that I didn't give up! I'm so glad I don't blame anyone for my addiction anymore except my own idiotic self and if that makes me an attention whore, and a narcissist in your book well so be it lol
@@allencarey7336 you really need to find some compassion and learn how to care for people that aren’t yourself, including addicts. he never one said it was his dad fault for anything, he stated why at that age he would get in trouble because that was the easiest way for him to communicate and see his dad. if anything he says multiple times that he was in his eyes, given everything considering his parents having money and being of high status. however that sentence alone about his dad shows that he never felt the love he should have been given. your right when you say he was the one that chose to be an addict, however he didn’t create the pain in his heart that drove them to do bad things or whatever he could do to feel some sort of “love.” you only know your own story, not anyone else’s. don’t project how you feel and whatever you went through on to anyone else. the people on this channel already are going through enough they don’t need your nasty comments on top of everything else. if you don’t want to be supportive and nonjudgmental, then get off this channel. you aren’t helping anyone by being hateful.
you hardly asked any questions, this guy is pouring his heart out, hope he gets the help he needs
Yeah, thats kinda the point.
A narcissist doesn't need people to ask him questions he'll talk for hours about himself! This guy has a self proclaimed "God Complex" he's definitely a Narcissist.
yes that, and you can tell he's high, so he's wired up. Talking fast and jittery.
@@RandoHandle i mean he isn’t nodding off tho, doesn’t sound sedated or anything, i think he desperately needs someone to talk to and care about him. i hope mark does an update on him, i think he has a good heart but has just been through a lot of pain and doesn’t love himself, which most addicts struggle with that anyways
@@8CheerleadingGirl8 once u do fent or any opiate for so long u don’t Nod off until you do a certain amount. U can tell John is high. Hopefully he gets better soon before something tragic happens, he has a lot of potential to succeed in life
The fact that he cares his mom would cry, that makes him a good soul. A lost soul. God bless your heart. I hope you find your way.
“A little bullshit contract for 75k dollars”. Epitome of how being raised with everything fucks up your perception. For someone that grew up with nothing , that would save my damn life
Facts
Facts. He’s not stood on his own. Kids don’t want to work up the ladder they want to be “the bomb”
Heard that 🤙
Understood. But maybe he said that as a way of putting himself down. Like its no big deal. Just speculating.
@@sdsurfgirl60 yea that’s how I saw it. It was more a dig at himself than at the contract
I think it is the self-awareness in these interviews that hits home. These are decent humans who went down a rough path. These are great lessons for us all as parents not to fuck up our own, and the "victim" mindset is really critical here.
So many of us addicts are so hugely self aware. A lot of self awareness brings inner pain and turmoil, and we try to escape, but where do you go to get away from yourself, aside from drugs or suicide?
He is not self aware at all. He lacks the humility and the sense of shame that is required to generate the will to change. He is not a particularly good person, nor a particularly bad one.
That's not his case. His problem isn't drugs, it's his personality.
I wholeheartedly disagree. I don’t think he truly feels like he needs to change or is ashamed of the path he took in order to help himself change. When the average person makes a mistake, gets a bad grade, cheats on their partner, whatever scenario you want to come up with, they feel shame. They don’t want to talk about the event, they try to suppress it because it’s shameful and they feel remorse for that event. People like this guy and many more troubled than him, give off the illusion that they are self aware or regret things they did. The illusion is casted by them saying what they think the interviewer or whoever they’re talking to wants to hear. He doesn’t seem like he understands the significance or consequences of anything he talks about, it’s like he knows what he did wrong or where he fucked up because countless of people have told him that and he’s regurgitating it. I may be entirely wrong, but this is how I interpret his behavior and words.
That's crazy accurate bro
This guy is so self aware and really likeable. I hope he gets the help he needs and can make something of his life.
This guy has superficial charm (which is what you’re describing), and is a very good bullshit artist (which he indirectly states himself). He more likely than not has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, with a variety of other antisocial traits (potentially even ASPD). Not to teach people how to scam better, but if you listen closely, he’s not actually talking about himself or his feelings about anything; he’s telling stories and manipulating the listener into projecting how _they_ would feel onto him.
The headshot encapsulates this well. John _styled_ this. Despite his efforts, it’s unnerving, menacing, with aggression and contempt being suppressed to just beneath the surface, and the focused- yet empty- predatory eyes of a shark. If you cropped it at the neck, one could easily mistake this for a very old mugshot.
This is a messed up place to sell drugs. It’s a video about a drug addict who realizes he’s wasting his life and someone is posting that they can ship you drugs. 🙄
Likable? Yikes.
They say addiction is cunning and baffling and in this case you can definitely say that in him knowing and being self aware yet having trouble with it
2 minutes in and my heart is already breaking for this guy - Childhood neglect is one of those childhood traumas that goes way under the radar in society. An unseen, unfelt heart of a child destroys them. He says he doesn't want to play the victim however as a child he was a victim, he was a victim of neglect and thats what he will need to grieve. He will need to grieve (not wallow in self pity) how unloved he felt in his childhood. Will power will only take you so far and it will seemingly override the deep issues, but ultimately the deep grief and pain from childhood will need to be felt, and thats not playing victim mode.
This comment right here is underrated ☝️
absolutly true
This is what improperly/inadequately treated ADHD/anxiety looks like. Add in the fact that he was neglected by his parents (money isn’t everything) and here he is. Hoping he can turn things around. He seems like a genuinely nice person.
Yup. Give this dude an addy rx + scholarship and his impulsiveness will be much easier to wrangle.
I have severe ADHD/anxiety, and let me tell you, I had to advocate for myself like none other to get the appropriate help and treatment because it is sooooo hard, especially as a woman, and I didn’t get diagnosed until I was almost 25, my doctor said “I have seen this ruin lives, careers, and everything else in between” then on top of that I have to battle stigmas, being an adult with adhd, a female and medicated, there is a comment and opinion about every single one of those things and I would not be functional or okay if I did not do it for myself and find it in me to say “I did not have my needs met as a child” it’s so hard to even get to that point. I resonate a lot with john but I chose the extreme opposite, I chose being the goody two shoes, and that was never enough either. I hope John can find himself and proper treatment for the little boy who didn’t get it.
Totally! I see so much of my own behavioural patterns. I just been diagnosed with ADHD and complex PTSD last year.... I'm hitting 40.
Bi polar too. It’s so obvious in his statements
Yes maybe your right
He's been taught to believe that he wasn't emotionally neglected as a child - children raised in emotionally healthy households don't nervously apologize for feeling abandoned & isolated.
I did fentanyl for 3 years. I lost all my teeth and have dentures now. The methadone clinic was a miracle for me and my girlfriend. We are still on methadone but quality of life has much improved. Got our band back together. Got my life back.
Happy for you, bro! I wish you guys all the best. My regards from Brazil! Keep it going
I did heroin for 5 years luckily I have most of my teeth but also doing a methadone program and have my life back! 8 years clean and sober now
Why did it effect your teeth?
love that. lost my best friend to drugs, on behalf of ur family and friends, thank you guys for getting better :)
Now you can shift from methadone to kratom
My sister is addicted to Fentanyl. She used to be my best friend and now she is in and out of jail, homeless on the streets in Oxnard. We are so scared. We’ve tried to do rehab but she just leaves. We are trying to get her to go out of state to a rehab there. It’s not easy. It’s heartbreaking knowing she can die at any moment and it’s such a helpless feeling. We didn’t have the best childhood, but we have a very loving Mom. Praying she gets clean. I can’t lose my Sister to this disease.
Дженифер,ты хороший человек,благослови господь тебя и твою семью.
😭😭😭🇬🇷
❤ suport from Bosnia and Herzegovina.💛
His disassociation is killing him. Inside he is still the spoiled child that has everything. Life is like watching a movie. It isn't real. I was there and I know. Hopefully, he can strip it all away and get honest with himself. When I realized that the drugs were going to kill me and I'd be in a can at the coroner's office and no one would care, I changed. Messing with Fentanyl, he may not have long enough to come to that realization. I hope that he can.
can I ask how you changed? I'm going through similar
Yeah i mean the last six years is like the most dangerous time to do drugs because its pretty much been all fentanyl since then. Years ago when actual heroin was around people didnt OD and die nearly as much. People are literally dropping like flies these days, and that's with narcan all over the place.
Same
@@billj4525 you are correct, and narcan is a blessing but without a coherent person with you to realize you need it, it’s useless.
@@fashionbeautyrocks it was a case of getting honest with myself. I was put into residential rehab. Things just lined up. It occurred to me that I was killing my parents and I was probably going to die within six months. That was the beginning of truly connecting to myself and life. It was no longer a game or video I was watching. It got real. I was no longer too cool or too smart for 12 step fellowships. I just didn't want to die. Look me up on FB if you need to talk. Wish you the Best!
It's such a dystopian realization that Mark could literally never run out of this type of content. There is a never ending supply of people to interview. Kensington, Philadelphia, Camden, NJ, etc. It never ends. The most common theme and reoccurrence I see is a damaged childhood. In some way, shape, or form. Kids need guidance and need they have to have the right attention.
This interview is different because he admits he had "every tool to be a happy kid". This goes to show how the influence of other people and the wrong type of attention matters. I hope he changes his life around for the better.
@@litty4553 like I said, it goes to show how much the wrong attention can affect someone. This is why I quoted "tools". The definition of tools can vary. If his parents believed money and stability is enough, while neglecting his emotional needs, then it is useless.
@@litty4553 To me, he had a way better start than I did. He had both parents, money, and even if they weren't there 100% emotionally, his parents clearly care. My mom ended up giving us up for adoption after I was like 4. I had it really rough. And in poverty. My brother was murdered when he was sixteen. It really upsets me sometimes to see people who have great starts in life throw it away. So many people would kill for the same opportunities. I feel bad, because it seems like parents can provide everything they think their kid needs, only to find out later it's not enough. i
also believe he has a deep sense of guilt for growing up with money so he is almost obsessed with self destructive behaviors. I grew up really poor in Camden NJ and I remember I met this girl who was rich from another school, and she came to my house one time and was devastated and scared. Her mom came to pick her up and never let her come back. After that she started sneaking over, tried giving me her lunch money and clothes. I always felt awkward because I felt she was catering to me because she felt bad. Eventually I watched her resent her parents for judging me and my brother (who since passed away from gun violence). I remember seeing her again, years later on the same streets doing drugs. She said she was so sheltered her whole life and nerve understood what I went through. Then she was infatuated with the streets and couldn't go back to being normal. I was also getting high, until I decided one day to just stop. I detoxed in my dealers house for two months while I paid and sold his drugs for him. When I had enough to get out I left and got a job at a small family business. I changed everything and never looked back. It's all in your head.. and I hope he doesn't have to go through all I did. I lost all my teeth and had to get dentures. I was trafficked and raped many times. I was homeless and so cold..I wish I had the money and the resources sometimes. I do hope he makes it out though. It's very sad if he doesn't. He's got a decent family and if he cleans himself up he can truly change for the better and he already will have the support.
He's been told he had every tool for a happy childhood and you can tell he wonders what's wrong with him that he failed to use these tools. That's not how it works, he wasn't given a close, loving, nurturing connection with his mother and father he was raised by the hired help, ppl that he couldn't even have a conversation with, how lonely and messed up this is, it's why he was seeking to be accepted by his peers but he never felt like he fitted in with them and therefore he was used by others for what he could get access to and briefly he felt accepted. Emotional neglect, deep loneliness and a need for close, loving relationships has left John, damaged, needy and clingy (his words sadly I wonder who accused him of that.) He failed to form healthy attachment as a child with his parents and that's not on him it's on them. Ppl underestimate the need for healthy attachments.
@@Secret_Soul_Survivor it's still on him too. Can't blame everyone else either.
Well, I'd be careful with that. If your only experience with addicts is through this channel, then I can imagine you would see it that way. But the reality is, a lot, if not most, of drug addicts actually had great parents. Or at least parents that did their best. But they are an easy scapegoat, and especially early in the recovery process, addicts scapegoat everything. Parents are a very easy Target because everybody has negative memories of their parents. Because parenting is really hard and everybody screws it up at least a little bit. But I do agree with you, having an incredibly negative childhood makes it incredibly difficult to avoid these kind of pitfalls. But they can happen to literally anyone, good parents or not.
I resonate with his psychological process coming from an "easy" life but not having parents to really support my growth. I was never told I was good enough, or a simple "great job", my dreams and talents were never encouraged because it was silly -- and so when I went to college and I was seen as cool for being the rebel I fell into the trap of validation. Now that I have completely turned my life around, I look back and realize that with all the partying I did and the vices I had --- I was never really addicted to any of them, it was very easy for me to quit smoking drinking, and meth altogether. What I was addicted to was the validation and the fact that I had people there for me.
You got lucky. You could have easily ruined your life going after that validation. At least it's great you finally realised it
Such a real and relatable comment.
boo fucking hoo
@@rodrigosandoval4574 :(
@Amtrakn Metalhead yes I think so, I needed a place to belong and where I was seen. Doing drugs and being the most reckless always gave me applause and validation -- I genuinely thought I just liked to party but it was definitely deeper than that.
The emotional neglect part is definitely overlooked. Speaking as a former heroin addict of 10+ years I can say that my family upbringing and the culture I grew up in were the main catalysts for my addiction. I was never physically or even verbally abused. I grew up in an upper middle class family with plenty of financial opportunity. I had siblings and cousins that got into trouble so there wasn't even a black sheep in the family. To be singled out as that even, would've felt unique and given me some sort of identity in my teens.
My parents were there but what I lacked was a strong family bond, a guiding father who I could talk to about anything, strong family traditions, and even a family dog! I had to search for excitement and meaning in life. My family life was substance-less, unenriched, and uninteresting. I was an emotional kid and felt things strongly and wanted to hash things out and talk deeply about anything and everything. I craved strong connection. Not having this left me feeling listless. I think that's why I, and so many others can relate to Dislocation Theory. Thank God I found things like music, reading, comedy, interesting and funny friends, and some family members to lift my spirits. One does not necessarily have to have a fucked up family, sometimes it's as simple as not having a strong enough emotional bond, because in the end family is everything.
I wish you luck John.
That’s the story of well over 50%. Myseld included. Still on methadone. Still haven’t used in almost 5 years. But this is far from over
❤️❤️❤️
I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm happy you are free from addiction now and are healing. God bless you.
This was said by you perfectly!! Look at you 10 years!! I hope you look at yourself every single day!! In that magic mirror!! Because you are a very BEAUTIFUL PERSON FOR YOUR HONESTY!!
KEEP HEALING MY FRIEND KEEP HEALING!! MUCH MAGIC LOVE TO YOU!!
PEACE OUT..
I felt you
The comments section is very interesting. Firstly, I love this channel because it shows us very human experiences. People can be both bad and good. It's never either/or. I think addiction is a very difficult condition to deal with because it is a disorder that exists so far outside of our purview. I really appreciate the comments from those who know this man and have had encounters with him. It gives us more insight into this individual. I think we must also remember to not be overly sympathetic or overly critical when we watch these videos.
It’s also important to take everything an addict says about their life with some skepticism. This guy is completely full of sh#t.
@@dogger37JC I would say it's half true. Part of addiction, is the narcissistic/manipulative behavior. My guess is he was ignored when he was really young and was granted only negative attention. It's a cry for help really. So then it becomes familiar. It's sad really.
@@dogger37JC yea thats what she meant by not being overly sympathetic (believing him) or overly critical. I think good journalism or at least stuff like this just lets you make up your own mind and thats kind of the point
@@Tuxiedo pretty much having a mutual mindset and taking what there saying as a lesson wheather it's true or not
@@dogger37JC That's just what she said!
If I got the world at my fingertips was a person. Hes got the good looks, had access to wealth, and talented. Prime example things are NOT always what they seem in ppl's life. God bless him I hope things turn around for this guy he's got so much potential 🙏🏾
WOW! This is what you call good looking. Are you a addict too? This is why you're not seeing clearly.....
@@shellyburke7703 well first of all a person's opinion on looks is subjective but I said good looks as far as this country's standards hence why he was a Burberry model. Why make this comment to me when the interviewer said it multiple times and there are several comments of ppl referring to him as "hot". Perhaps this comment went over your head or your the one using but either way I'll pray for you. Fortunately no I'm not on drugs but thanks kindly for your concern.
@@Victoria-es6eh , Your welcome....
@@shellyburke7703 charming,
@@Victoria-es6eh I agree his looks are handsome but just like that opinion is subjective, your opinion of him having the world at his fingertips is also subjective, because , yeah ...he may have had money and opportunities but he lacks the confidence and self validation to make anything of it so for the most part they're useless
It would be interesting if this interview was done without video or pictures. If it was only his voice and his story. So many comments on here based on his looks. How much potential he has. How smart he is. How well spoken he is. Many women on here asking for his social media to follow him. Fascinating how much looks play a part in how some people view drug addicts.
James Caro unfortunately looks affect almost every thing you do in life. It has been proven many times.
His looks is part of where he is at now. You cannot take away that fact
So true. All I see is a huge douche bag...maybe I'm naked though because he is a good looking dude
Yeah, hes dangerous being attractive and entited. Would be ok to talk to in passing, but dont invite him in!
He's definitely not smart. He had all these opportunities and he f*cked them all up. He still has a pretty face now, but he could lose it too if he keeps screwing up his life. This guy was blessed with a lot of things, and he might try to take advantage of those things now for short term gains, but it's not gonna last if he doesn't wise up.
He spoke so eloquently I was really interested to hear him tell more of his story. I hope that he is doing well and will one day speak about addiction to others. He is a really great speaker. Wish you all the best, John.
“Fentanyl’s a different demon.”
I am 21 y/o. Me & my boyfriend got addicted to pills, then started on heroin bc I could get more for less. Experimented with meth, coke, etc. Got pregnant, got clean. Had my baby, within 3 months, me & my husband was back on heroin. Within 9 more months, we got a bag of fentanyl & @ the age of 20 we overdosed. I woke up 4 hours later & my 24 year old husband was dead. I was left with a 1 year old beautiful daughter who I lost to dss. Something instantly clicked in my head & I got clean the second I woke up without my best friend, my husband, my world. I’ve been clean for almost 14 months now. Still fighting for my custody back. This past august, my best friend, also 21 y/o, overdosed and died. I have been through HELL at such a young age but it just gives me more motivation to do better & be better!
I’ve been watching these videos since Amanda’s videos. These videos break my heart because I know exactly what the hell they’re going through but I know that WE DO RECOVER!!!!!
Keep up the good work
As a Mother that’s double your age , my daughter is turning 16 and it’s the biggest gift to be alive to help raise her with my ex . Trust me when I say this , it goes by fast , you blink your eye and your middle age and your daughter will be a teenager too . Please keep up the work and continued reflection and stay sober or you will DIE . You do not want your daughter growing up with out her mother . The cycle will continue. All my best ❤️
What an inspirational story. You’re amazing. Thank you.
Thank you for your honesty
Sending you love and positivity.... thank you for sharing your story.It shows your strength... " you got this"
I am sitting here saying "where do I know his face?!" I saw him in a coffee shop back when I was in college in NYC with my mom who was visiting me while I was at school and he was playing guitar. He was very good looking, which made up for the fact he was not a professional musician (at the time). His accent made me think he was a surfer California type. We didn't talk much- my mom is more friendly than myself and she chatted with him while I paid for coffee and I offered him a donut. He was sweet as pie to my mom and I. What a weird flashback- I was not expecting to remember those 5 minutes ever again 😂
and then Obama shook your hand?
so freaking weird everyone here has seen him
@@user-zb9ow6du6c nah not really, tons of people in this comment section have met him lol
@@yyg4632 People who have seen him noticed him in the thumbnail. He's unusually good-looking, so his face is memorable. The Internet reaches nearly everyone on earth, so be good!
A sweet addict..steels your purse if he can!
I respect his honesty. Most narcissists wouldn’t ever admit to being a narcissist. I think where he is now has humbled him a lot. If he got clean, he could anything he wanted to and that’s clear to me.
Everyone has some narcissistic traits, but that doesn't mean someone has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
If someone has npd and they admit to it, then it's part of the manipulation tactic
Narcissists know they are narcissist.
Not necessarily true, however there needs to be a certain incentive for their ego to desire the change for themselves, ‘to do better’ for their own good/survival
@@ykshay lol what you talking about
You didn't have all the tools to be happy John, you missed the love of your parents. I really hope you're doing OK, you have so much potential. Well done for dragging yourself away from being the victim and rewriting your story.
Didnt have the tools to be happy??? boo hoo. Promoting victimhood. Thats HIS side you're falling for. Excuses are all I hear.
@peartfaldo it sounds like you have some issues you need to be aware of
@@peartfaldo agreed
@@Thomas-8058 nah he is right addicts are always victims have you listened to this guy? as we get a certain age we need to take responsibility, I have known many addicts that have committed terrible crimes and they are always the victim its part of their disease.
I met a 29 year old woman last year. She was so sweet. She had a story similar to John’s. She came from a really wealthy family from the south. Good Christian home. She admitted that they were always good to her. She had been clean for a year, and would constantly want to hangout with me. She is no longer here, she had one slip up on fentanyl and is now gone forever. I’ll always remember her. Her parents loved her till the end. Always supporting her. Always trying their best to help her succeed. She even worked at a rehab to help other women. I have such a hard time accepting that she’s gone.
Sad this guy is totally lost. He’s minimizing how close he is to disaster . God bless him.
He's handsome, still young, thoughtful and was lucky enough to have so many resources at his disposal. Glad to see his comment about him in recovery.
I saw your comment from a few months ago... I hope you're still doing well, John. I watch these videos, and I root for so many of you struggling with addiction. I'm still rooting for you.💜
I'm a brazilian going to work for my company in the US in a couple of months and your videos are amazing for me due to mainly two reasons: 1) it is clearly a psychological case study which helps us to be more accepting with different kinds of people / 2) my english gets much much better by listening to them.
Keep up the good work Marc, as you probably are helping people in ways you dont even imagine.
Can't you see this guy is a pathological narcissist??
I'm not sure why people are blaming him saying he has a huge ego and wasted his opportunities, he seems like a sad soul. Lonely. Having money at his disposal doesn't mean he had a fulfilling childhood and I think that's what went wrong.
He might be bipolar and probably has narcissistic personality disorder. The way he said "I wouldn't normally even talk to someone like that" just goes to show he thinks he walks on water. Also deep insecurity lies inside NPD and it eventually destroys all relationships.
@@stopthephilosophicalzombie9017 I don't think it matters what diagnosis he has and it's up to professionals to diagnose. All I'm saying is his life today is a result of the neglect and lack of emotional intimacy and affection he experienced when he was younger - and I don't think he should be blamed for that because it was out of his control. Everything he does now is just seeking something to fill that void. Empathy is everything.
@@Bee-rs5oq that is all very true but it's not only that. We all still have a choice. We cannot all blame our childhoods for EVERYTHING that happens later on. It is a big part but personal responsibility and choices is also an important contributor.
A common misconception is that just because he had wealthy parents, doesn't mean they taught him right from wrong - even Mark fell into that sterotype here. An affluent upbringing doesn't automatically equate a good, wholesome childhood. Not at all.
@@joys9455 Yeah wealthy people are prone to neurosis and dysfunction just like anyone else, but they just hide it better. Robin Williams came from a very wealthy family and was left with nannies and was sent to boarding schools and spent a vast amount of time alone with his toys in his parent's mansion. He was depressed most of his life and you can see his struggles reflected in the characters he chose in his acting career.
I'm a retired addiction counselor and understand how frustrating this disease is for everyone involved. The family, friends and community don't understand how difficult the life is for the addicted person. They are (rightfully so) sad, afraid and angry with the destructive behaviors. The addict is suffering from a resolvable brain imbalance that can cause them to act out in ways they berate themselves for. In fact, addicts spend most of their time hating themselves, regardless of what they say to others. Here are a few key points to keep in mind if you are dealing with someone suffering from addiction:
1. No one can make anyone stop using. Only the person using is capable of that.
2. Criticizing will make things worse. However, stating what behaviors you will and will not tolerate in your home, office, school, etc. is helpful to both parties, as long as you are willing to enforce. In other words, telling my child he's a loser is going to create an unhealthy climate and encourage addiction. Telling my child that he cannot be in my home if he is using and removing him from my home if I find him using is therapeutic.
3. Let them know you love them. Let them know you care. Let them know you are there to support their efforts to become sober and remain sober.
4. Some people don't make it. It's not because of anything we did or didn't do.
Could you educate me on why drugs is a disease and not a choice in this day and age with everything we know about drugs , sure drugs can cause disease like kidney ,heart,lung ect,but drug use is a choice not a disease
@@randomstuff5338 Drug use is one way of numbing trauma, pain and so many other things. It BECOMES a disease. Believe me, I suffer from mental health issues and it's taken all my willpower to NOT fall into the downward spiral of drug use and addiction. I consider myself one of the lucky fuckin ones, believe me. These people are in PAIN. Real fucking pain. And people with your attitude don't help matters.
@@randomstuff5338 Addiction isn't a disease; this way of thinking was a fad for a time, but I thought it had been dropped decades ago. Also, addicts don't hate themselves; nobody does. Their addiction shows self-love. Start with the correct frame of reference -- nobody hates himself -- and things fall into place. Those who say they hate themselves mean they hate the way others treat them.
As for drug use being a choice: correct. Every tablet, every needle, every sniff is a choice. That said, the body becomes addicted very quickly to some substances. Heroin is the Mother of Bitches in this. Teenage curiosity or adult surgery can lead to physical dependence on drugs. This doesn't stem from the same dynamic, but it can lead to addiction.
@@rubynibs the body and mind also gets very addicted to healthy stuff , the body/ mind is a creature of habit , in saying this I can't speak for every human ,only me
@@randomstuff5338 True stuff, Random Stuff!
Excellent speech man. Although all the things you mentioned are sad and terrible, they're also deeply honest. Thanks for putting into words what many people are getting through.
I truly believe that love can rescue many people, somehow.
I wish you all the love, mate.
I hug you strongly.
I dated this guy for 2 years and wow was that a load of bull. He’s a master manipulator and narcissist. He abused me for years and sucked me dry. Took years for me to recover but thankful I live with no hate in my heart for this man. I’m glad he’s still alive and hope he escapes all those demons he’s fighting.
Another girlfriend of his (if it's not you with another account) had left a comment saying the same thing. I occasionally come back to the comment section of this video because I'm fascinated by how mesmerized people are by this person who's clearly lying from start to finish.
Oh really? I would love to see what she said about him. I personally knew his family and he’s got you all foooooled. No he is not a trust fund child. His family is middle class and they tried their best to help him. He was terrible to them and everyone he “loved.” They just didn’t have it in them anymore.
I’m glad some people can see through his obvious arrogance. He would mentally and physically abuse me pretty much everyday. Ones even pushed me because he couldn’t find his sock. The man is evil.
@@bre6985 her name is Carson, you can find her most recent comments under the one joking about John doing side quests. She'd originally come into the comment section saying that his life story was all lies and that he's diagnosed with NPD (which simply points to his self-absorbedness and propensity for lying, I'm not trying to paint everyone with the disorder as evil), his mom left another one backing her up. The funny thing is that her comment (along with one left by another girl who knew him in active addiction and said he's a very manipulative person, at least when high) eventually got deleted, probably by the channel's owner.
I've watched many videos by Mark and he doesn't strike me as the kind of person who wants to push a narrative, so what I think happened is that he got pressured by John himself into removing them. He's not one to delete negative comments for the sake of it at least from what I've seen.
I'm personally familiar with the disorder so I could tell from the get go that something was wrong with him, the fact that no one else seems to see it is absurd to me. What originally clued me into the fact that he was probably lying though is that I couldn't find any trace of his band or modeling online and his story in general didn't make sense. I think Mark could tell as well.
I wish this would be pinned since mine was deleted. Sending all my love Bree.
@@carsonmilner247 have you managed to ask Mark why the comment was deleted?
AS A PARENT, my heart hurts seeing the pain of John. I wish for him health and freedom of all his pain.
Privilege and boredom are both a hell of a drug!
This was the first time I've heard Mark get so involved in the conversation. The more vids I watch here the more I appreciate Soft White Underbelly.
Now I want to think how I can use this to help my students!
14:35 "I threw a big fit, knocked over a vase, turned out to be plastic, didn't even break."
I love this guy. He said it so nonchalantly and non-re-actively, which made the vase story funny. Oh and the rambling on and on with the interweaving of non-stop stories makes him a talking machine. Good monologue artist.
I’ve just burst out laughing 😂
Yeah he's good at bullshitting alright I'll give him that, seems to have convinced a lot of people here
@@yupisaid Tell us what John is really like Anthony the psychoanalyst
@@ey3z4ya He's a lying narcissist, you're just too childlike to notice
I’m so glad Mark used this opportunity to speak to him like a big brother and mentor! Spoke some reasoning into his logic and perhaps it might resonate and stick for good. I pray so. 🙏🏽
I have a lot of sympathy for rich kids that are brought up by maids, Nannies etc, then sent off to boarding school. I think it creates monsters more than it does happy, well adjusted adults. Why even bother having kids?
It creates narcissist
Children need attention.
I don’t really, some people have NOTHING. No family, no money, no help from anyone. You got EVERYTHING and acting as if you went through hell because of that 🙄🙄🙄🙄 Like people are never happy, at some point it’s no one’s fault but yours ! You made bad choices (go to drugs) and there’s no one to blame, but yourself.
That’s what I was thinking. Why tf did you even have kids smh
@@NakyaMami Theres always somebody worse/better off, no matter where you are in society. Everyone suffers the same mentally, if not physically.
I could remember few years ago fentanyl addiction actually destroyed my life. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 3 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
Amen God bless people. Save your health save your mind. Life is better without heroin, fentanyl,alcohol and cigarettes.And you have more money in your pocket. God bless everyone who has rejected the devils intentions to be addicted to alcohol and cigarettes etc which can cause so much damage to health.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Germany. Really need!
Hey! Yes very sure of Dr.alishrooms. a single dose of shrooms saved me from Alcohol addiction. 6 years clean. no cravings. this doesn't sound weird to me in any way shape or form.
How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta
Yes he's Dr.alishrooms.Lsd and psilocybin are amazing teachers along its dmt mah dudes have safe trips all. Shrooms are blessings from nature.
I grew up with a lot of kids like John. As a parent now I can't imagine that basic attention, affection etc couldn't be provided for him. Money is a tool not a trophy.
Great reminder to spend time with friends and family as much as you can.. that is what fuels the soul and nourishes the mind.
Yep. My kids are cared for but we love eachother and may not be rich but … my parents, they wanted only money. That’s why I raise my kids the opposite. Money helps but it’s not gonna make the kids long term happy. Chase happy not money
His siblings turned out fine. His parents tried their best to get him off drugs. At the end of the day, it comes down to who you surround yourself with.
@@JM-yn8mb His parents made nannies deal with him and neglected him as workaholics.
i had a very neglected childhood. later an addiction issue. i was neglected because my father didn’t want more kids. he had kids with two other women.
I could never be "good" enough to be good, and I could never be "bad" enough to be happy. 13 yrs of IV opiate drug addiction. My 1st OD was fentynol, and it was literal divine intervention that I lived. Going on 4 yrs sober. John's story touched me so much more than I expected. I really hope he gets clean.
same happened to me during OD.. got fetanyl and ODed and 4 AM in a bathroom and somehow a family member woke up and thought something was off when the bathroom was locked. I’m here with you brother
I'm boggled that everyone cannot see the total narcissism oozing out of this person.
Watch the Sharp interviews. This guy is a breath of fresh air compared to that dude. Not disagreeing, but, I mean, everything people are criticizing John for in this interview are all things that he freely admitted.
It’s clearly evident. He also is a rare self admitted narcissist. What do you want; a comment section full of negative opinions and judgements? That’s not what this channel is about.
@@gofreely Hermeneutics is the study of interpretation. In art, the interpretation by the spectator is just as significant as the artists intention. UA-cam channels are half the creator, half the subs. In my comment I was addressing the lack of recognizing a narcissist. Which is an incredibly important skill to have. Yes, narcissists need to know that they are seen for who they are, the reason they're able to get away with their devastating behavior is because they're able to manipulate. If they can't manipulate, they have no power. Who defends antisocial behavior? And who gatekeeps other people's youtube channels?
@@Alchemizingg you obviously didn’t read many comments because there are a lot regarding his self consumed behaviour. Just because they may not necessarily understand the term narcissism does not mean they don’t recognise the toxic traits that go with it. You’ve not commented on the video, but on how inept Marks subscribers are. Must be hard to breathe so high on your pedestal.
I see it.
I was spoiled by my mom and beaten by my dad. I was the most confused child. ever. Now im 36 and i cry.at work from stress, anxiety, trauma . My dad died recently. And i moved home to my mom.
I just got a new job.
I just. feel totally useless and giving up on life. I cry at work from stress
Sending you love. I have a similar situation
His vulnerability is beautiful. I'm sure all who see this interview are cheering for his strength in the future 💛
That cuz he's handsome.
John you don't have to be a god you were born to be human. You were not born to be perfect you are born to be real. Your body needs to be respected. It can only cope with so much. Respect yourself. Get comfortable with yourself. AND YOU ARE WORTHY. Please get clean though.Good luck.
You remind me of my brother. We had a rough childhood where we were not listened to at home (plus a lot more). He found drugs and dealing and thought he was the man. It gave him confidence, and it tricked him into thinking it was love. He is now addicted to pills/fentanyl, and it is the hardest thing I have ever had to witness. I hope he finds the light and knows that he is worthy of true love.
It sounds like John comes from what some call a "tricky" family, tricky in that it appears fine on the outside (you're fed, clothed, kept warm, not hit or yelled at, no bruises or physical/sexual abuse), but perhaps neglected or otherwise emotionally abused - it's invisible to others on the outside. I know about this from first-hand experience. People from "tricky" families can take a while to recognize that their childhood wasn't good, and that their destructive patterns and suffering are the result. With a family like this you end up believing that you don't matter much, you're not capable of much (not true, but a self-limiting belief), and you live your life as such. You don't have a foundation of care, support, and love to pull any resources from, ie. "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" - some of us have no bootstraps. The way he's described his family situation as a kid, I'm not surprised that he's had struggles like this.
Thanks for that. I’m 37 and just putting together the pieces, reading comments like your that describe my past/present so accurately without knowing me makes me feel not so alone with my struggles, and hope for the future.
Nice try. I'm not challenging your particular situation but what you're positing with this "tricky family" claptrap is total bullshit. We can all find excuses for our bad decisions in life but it's weak and disingenuous to shirk responsibility for them. It's easy to play victim, anyone can do it. This is the least believable and likable person I've ever seen underbelly produce.
@@gregv2821 How rude. First, never said the guy was likeable. Second, NEVER said it was an excuse, or a reason to shirk responsibility. It's a REASON for shitty behavior. Period. People don't grow up in a vacuum. Everyone is responsible for their own behavior. Just because I offered an explanation for behavior doesn't make it an excuse. Do you believe, then, that we should not try to figure out why people make the choices they do? Is it only because we were simply born to be "bad" for some reason, or could it be that being treated badly at an early age has consequences?
@@BikingVikingHH You're welcome. I'm still putting together my pieces, too, and I'm 52. I feel like that never ends. The more pieces we put together, the more we understand why we do what we do, so we can start making better choices each time...and you're definitely not alone, and there is much to hope for. Compassion for yourself is key. Cheers
@@gregv2821 you said so many words, but didn’t say anything.
He’s been preparing for this interview all his life 😂
Lol
😂 😂
MGK looking aaaaaaa
And it´s obvious that Mark is not buying the story, he barely asked anything, he just let John do his thing...
He’s high on fentanyl. Fent makes some ppl super talkative to the point where it becomes annoying, then he’ll end up getting tired later. Other ppl pass out 10-15 min. after using fent. The withdrawal is horrible physically and mentally, but after 3 day you can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
He's buried so deep in his own lies and delusions that he'll never get any better. He need's to start by being honest with himself, that's his first step to accepting his situation, and being able to do something about it.
Thanks for sharing your psychology degree with us
I feel like he's lying about his background as we. His dad was in computers he was sent away to school but his dad built the mainframe of the school? He wasn't sent away t school he was ent to teen challenge. I know peniless Vice Lords that were sent to teen challenge. He's taking other people's stories and mashing them together.
@Mr.D ....are you reading the same comments section? Everyone is saying he is lying about his background. @Your Nightmares is right lol
Three things that I KNOW are true: 1) he really does hang with Steven Tyler 2) he really does have 40,000 Instagram followers 3) he actually is musically talented and “prideful lion” is the name his music is under. I do think he exaggerates at times, but I do have to give him credit b/c he seems to be aware of his shortcomings and he acknowledges them.
@@mandyjuelz 1) he hangs around with him insofar as he has an instagram video with him (absolutely met in AA)
2) He has 40,000 Instagram followers, which might mean something if my best mate's girlfriend didn't have a similar amount simply from buying them. Come on, dude. 40k followers yet he was only mustering a 30 like average over the course of his Instagram, even during the times when he was in a semi-famous band. Seems legit.
3) He's as musically talented as the guys you walk past on the street. He certainly isn't a bad musician, but there is no indication that he is good or talented. He can sing in a certain style, as can many people.
You have clearly trawled the guy's Instagram, so I'm very bemused as to how you can't see this loser for what he is. I mean scroll through that Instagram and tell me that is the profile of a succesful model and artist. He looks like some racist loser you'd have gone to highschool with who smokes weed every day and lies about his life. You saw this guy's photos and thought he modeled???????
No offence, dude, but you've got to be pretty slow not to know this guy is talking complete horseshit. I mean, he uploads edited photos of himself and tries to pass them off as oil paintings that he did ffs (instagram.com/p/Bi6tsExnKCW/). That's only one of the hundred lies you can see on his profile.
You're either John or not very perceptive.
It IS amazing that someone this beautiful can live this kind of life. Proves that addiction is unbiased in every way, shape, and form.
This just proves money truly doesn’t buy happiness.
Also his story is a warning to not burn bridges faster than you can cross them
I think Kurt Cobain, Robin Williams, Anthony Bourdain, Chester Bennington all proved that point. All money means is that you can live comfortably material wise. If you aren't taking care of your health you're fucked regardless of your bank account balance or in this case, your parents bank account balance. This always got me, the rich kid who wants to fit in and be the billy badass from the wrong side of town. All I hear is a sad kid (inner child) whose parents didn't pay him enough attention and maybe if he goes to therapy and works through it he can turn his life around. Wish him the best.
Gimme some I’ll prove you wrong.
I still want some though!
Its so tough for families like John's. Do you cut them off and set boundaries, push back with tough love, help support them with the risk of enabling. Its hard for them to know what to do, and their unconditional love makes it so much harder. Channels like this help break down stigma, and educate people on others struggles and how to help.
I agree with you, it’s so hard watching people you love go through this sickness.
Don’t ever ever ever cut them off loose contact make sure they have a home where u can make sure they are alive. Nothing worse than thinking when my mother lost sleep wondering I’d i was dead
“I grew up my whole life with astigmatism” me too John, me too. I got glasses though, it really helped.
I read this and thought it might be sarcasm, then I got to the part where he says it and remembered this comment lol
He means narcissism but says stigmatism
I have been searching through these comments praying somebody else heard that 😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂
@@devynnhart7956 im dumb please explain :/
Wow it's such a crying shame that this guy cannot realize, how many people he's helping with this interview!!! His honesty is brutal and it's very very important for people to see that a guy like him who has it all, can lose it all just as fast as he earned it or even lose it faster than he earned it!!
Underbelly I admire your work I think what you're doing is absolutely positively wonderful!! Job and it's deserving of an award above and beyond any award that could be presented!! I watch every one of your interviews and I can honestly say showing without prejudice without any discriminatory and without any judgment that you're showing people can do anything they set their mind to do me could be bad things or it can be good things.
This guy needs to get his act together! And I would say he needs to start setting an example but he already is he's sitting right in front of each and every addict that views this INCLUDING HIMSELF!! All I can say is I'm on this guy side! And it's a goddamn shame that he cannot look in the mirror and realized he can be such a fucking positive. Instead his actions that HE choose, keeps leading him to the unhappy world of DESPAIR!!
COME ON MR ROCK STAR! WHY CANT YOUR US YOUR INFLUENCE TO HELP OTHERS INSTEAD OF HURTING THEM!
PEACE TO ALL WHO TOOK THE TIME TO READ MY COMMENT..
The thing that stood out to me the most was how he mentioned how he hates wasting his potential. I relate to that too but I see it so hard in him that he’s still not ready to humble himself… because he’s always on the cusp of it in so many ways. Looks, connections, privilege, being used to the good life… plus he’s a likable guy. I wish he could channel it into maybe writing songs or producing or being behind the scenes but he’s too used to being too pretty. He’s so close but he’s his own worst enemy. It’s surprising how sympathetic he is. Rooting for him in spite of himself.
Handsome, articulate, intelligent.
Don't throw it away. You hit the nail on the head when you accept the victim role. Don't label yourself a victim. I think we all need to realize no matter how shitty life can be, it can always be worse. Hope you can get back on track. Good luck.
Best advice.
Thanks!
@@morelove619 R u John sitting online reading all the comments about yourself?
Articulate? He speaks like a kid in middle school. WTF?
Intelligent? Are you commenting on another video?
This guy is a long way from getting clean...... He's rationalizing every which way... And he's putting on a show... As someone who is in the same boat.. same exact position I can see right through him.
sad but true
Yep. He has to learn how to put on a different show....
yes he doesn't even agree that he is considering himself a victim until at the end when the interviewer explicitly states it
Master of bs
Spitten fax
This is one of the most heartfelt interviews I have seen in MY LIFE. I have always been skeptic about people’s honesty when giving interviews about themselves, but his guy is lying his dark side out here. I hope that he is able to recover. God bless him.
Absent parents don't make for "a great childhood". He more or less said this himself.
If his parents were absent why did the other children become responsible adults? I'm more inclined to think he has a condition like alcoholics do. His metabolism and brain required stimulants in a way his siblings didn't. In alcoholics the body craves a form of sugar. On my father's side of the family the boys including my dad's brothers were inclined towards alcoholism and craved alcohol, except me and my dad's brother who craved sugar. Alcohol is a form of sugar. I think John's metabolism and the easy availability of drugs is the enemy. As with all addictions or cravings, ultimately he will have to employ strength to say no and find other avenues to expound his energy or his drug abuse will kill him. As he also said, he knew people who distanced themselves from him because of his drug abuse, yet they did the same drugs he did, but the difference is they know when to play and when to work as they look at John as what can happen if you let the drug control you.
@@robertpace901 I knew a kid in the middle east who had his own appartment in his parent's palace, was raised by maids and had anything he wanted - but his parents' time. He hardly saw them. Wealth is not in things but in human relationships, and this guy sounds really deprived to me. Acting out at school so your father has to fly out to see you? Seriously? If that man wasn't so rich, Child Protective Services would have been all over him.
Different people process the same experiences differently. He said it himself - his sister turned to excelling in everything in order to get that attention. Which, while looks better on the surface, can often be its own can of nasty worms. Just because other siblings turned out differently, doesn't mean there wasn't neglect.
@@y-yyy I'd like to hear his parents side of the story. I know there are awful parents out there. Mark has shown us the products of those circumstances. I just don't buy he did bad things to get attention from his parents. He could have done good things just as easily. We all went to school with kids who had reputations good bad or dull. We all knew who they were. I still say John's disposition is affected by his metabolism. He chose some of the bad influences because it tickled his sense of adventure and living on the wild side. We all have those influences in our lives. Some avoid them, others dabble knowing the usual ugly outcome if that relationship with a stimulant or bad but interesting personality isn't managed ...and others like John jumped in full power and the switch that most people have that says back off before it takes over your life don't turn on in people like John. He has hyper awareness and it can be a blessing and a curse. Ultimately he will have a significant emotional upheevil in his life that makes him consciously change or his choices will kill his looks and himself eventually.
Look at rock stars who've partied hard all their lives. I can think of a guy in the Rolling Stones. It's obvious he partied hard but he always maintained enough normalcy to know when to party and when to be a band member. I'm saying people who get to John's level don't have the switch in their bodily makeup that let's them make that conscious decision. He has to manually employ that switch and he hasn't learned that yet.. time is running out for him. One day he's going to look in the mirror and he's not going to recognize the image looking back.
It's so true about the victim mentality. I was in the middle of mental illness and substance addiction in my late 30s. A friend said to me - you know, you can recover if you let go of the victim mentality - I was so offended but it made me determined to get better. It was a long road, I had a lot of past trauma to work through and am still working through. But my life has changed beyond all recognition, I now have strong bonds and loving relationships with my two sons, other family and my partner of 6 years and I have a small group of amazing friends, I have a job I love and hobbies I really enjoy and I'm hoping to study with the OU later in the year. It takes work, hard work but when I changed my thinking from "why me?" to - "well, why not me, yes bad stuff happened but I needn't let that determine how I live the rest of my life and I, like everyone else, deserve a good life and I'm going to do everything in my power to make that happen" It's up to me. I've taken back control. It's not perfect, nothing is, I'm still dealing with PTSD and other stuff. I've had many wobbles. The difference now is that instead of turning to substances and self harm I'm seeking help straight away when I see myself slipping. Recovery is possible ☺️
The words around the victim mentality - I really needed to hear that. The reason why I watch these videos is because a) I relate to some of their pasts and b) I recognise I have the potential to be like them.
I'm 18 years old, not too popular, go to a good school with very good opportunities. I've started doing xyz and the only reason I'm still here is because of the social pressure around me. I'm throwing it all away right now and sure some things have happened this year but I am sort of using the past as an excuse for the present.
@@jamesyan12 it's good that you can recognise that change is needed. I was clueless at your age. The past is not so much an excuse for the present as a reason so I hope I didn't sound flippant when talking about being in the victim mentality and I hope I didn't imply that recovery is simple. Be kind to yourself and you will get there. It's good to be well but it's also ok not to be ok and all we can do is our best. I realise I was lucky in some respects and some people do have a harder time getting free of their addictions depending on various factors and I wouldn't judge them for struggling and not making it. I would love for everyone to be as well as they can be but I know that it's not always possible. I'm talking generally here and not about you specifically but I do wish you all the luck and you're starting with good insight so that bodes well for the future.
Awesome comment. You should be in this show. Not the idiot in the video.
I wish you all the luck in the world....
James you can change that mindset, u can!
Wow, he's the smartest guy he's ever met
Joys of being raised wealthy
U gota get out more.
@@gingerelvira6587 Kevin Huber said, "...smartest guy HE'S ever met", as in this John's such a hustler and a big-noter that he even believes his own lies.
You have never met anyone beyond your family u assume
Or he's a pathological liar
He may have had a privileged childhood but it was still one that had emotional and parental neglect - I hope he finds peace and support
explain?
@@VictorMendez-l6uwatch the video attention span
@@VictorMendez-l6u he was rich but his parents did not show him enough attention.
@@grimmjowjaggerjacks0 oh too bad thats an excuse for being a junkie people have gone through worse, oh mommy didnt love me enough? and how do we know these stories are true? he seems all over the place, high asf.
@@VictorMendez-l6u thats an ignorant way of looking at it. there isn't an "excuse" needed to have addiction and just because people have it worse doesn't mean it couldn't have been difficult for him. Whatever problem someone may face, there is an extremely high chance that someone has had it worse than that so that isn't reason to dismiss someones perceived hardships
Haha he’s reliving his best moment in which he’s locking eyes with Kanye , and Mark ever so quickly is like “and somehow you ended up here!” *balloon pop* 😂
😂😂😂😂 this comment us fucking hilarious.
I want to lock eyes with evie ramone
Mark is somethin else 😂
Mark's a savage😀😅😅😅
Lmfao!
Thank you so much for this! I’m going through it with a family member and fentanyl is so different and harder to quit. 100x worse than getting off heroine which we all thought was the bottom.
John if you read these, watch your own video all the way through and really listen to yourself. You have so much potential but are literally on the edge of dying (even accidental-too easy with fentanyl) or living and truly thriving.
If you’re able to get clean and be your true authentic self, you’ll be surrounded with so many friends and you can change so many lives. Even save so many lives.
Good luck to you and thank you all for having him share his story. ❤️
Between the two of them, both Mark and John have given me exactly what I needed to hear today, in order to continue on my journey of self development...
"The ones who are doing well, don't relate to the victim mentality," - Mark.
"Being a victim, is giving all of your power to somebody else," - John.
Oh! And also: "Whatever happens, just do the next right thing," - thank you Johns Mum.
This interview was amazing. Thank you Mark for seeing the beauty of this world in all the most unlikely of places. Dnt ever stop doing what you do. LOVE to you and all your interviewees.
wow he’s such a beautiful human. wishing the best for you john 🖤
“gangster types” “preston” 💀
🤣
🔨⛓
😂😂😂
I’m crying 🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
He’s so young and handsome. I hope he gets clean before it’s too late 😞 prayers sent.
Honestly his looks and like-ability is what keeps him stuck in the lifestyle. People show him love because they get high off helping someone beautiful with potential, but it’s exactly what keeps him thinking he’s invincible.
Dude, you’re living a surface life searching and living off praise. You are valuable whether or not you have your looks or potential, get clean to shun fame.
He is a lying narcisist with NPD. 80% of this is complete bs, specially the story about his parents, they are not rich and did everything for him.
Amen. I second this.
Best comment here
I wish him all the best, his intereview is real. He talks about many hard experiences, but he's very charasmatic. He could easily be a model, and he has the cognitize awareness to be anything else. I am really rooting for this man. Much love, from 'Sauga.
“Where is my cucumber artisan water, this doesn’t seem right”
😂😂😂
Best part
😩
*PLEASE do an update on him, Mark.* This area of addiction is often overlooked-- perfect upbringing turned drug addict-- it's a mystery we need to understand. He's an outlier amongst your guests. I resonated a lot with his life story, actually... and he's motivated me to make some changes.
EDIT** Obviously no one bothers to actually listen or watch videos before they comment AND/OR doesn't understand sarcasm/irony. I said he had "a perfect" childhood because that is what HE SAID HIMSELF, (more accurately, "I had a great childhood). 0:40 2:34 If you have a problem with that, then complain to him for saying that. Not me. And there is sarcasm, irony with perfect upbringing because, OBVIOUSLY, his childhood wasn't so perfect if he's sitting here today as a Fent addict. That was the whole POINT of my post. Kids who "seemingly" grew up with, quote on quote, perfect childhoods, becoming drug addicts... 🤦♀️ because the entire premise surrounding that obviously suggests that there is no such thing as a "perfect childhood". Ever.
What on earth makes you think that he had a 'perfect upbringing?' He was raised by Au Pairs, not his parents, he didn't get to form a loving trusting attachment to his parents, that's why he described himself as clingy and desperate for friends, to be accepted because he craved love and affection. Just because his siblings were successful academically and therefore praised and accepted by his parents that doesn't mean they won't have their own issues in personal relationships. This isn't an outlier, his situation is a very common one but ppl think because he had money and nice things and a big lonely house to roam in that makes him privileged - financially, yes - but not emotionally. Ppl like John are looked at as having no 'valid' reason for their drug addiction - 'you weren't sexually/physically abused, you weren't homeless etc., so what's wrong with you?' He still grew up with emotional neglect and a lack of close trusting connections to communicate and confide with. He's still a lost little boy inside that just wants to hang out and play guitar with his dad and be hugged and nurtured by his mum. Notice he said he was alone at home but learned how to play the guitar and his dad had a studio because he played guitar BUT not that they hung out playing in the studio together.
He's also not an outlier regarding Mark's guests because he's an addict, he lacks acceptance and love in his life, he's been given up on by his family and has no close loving relationships.
@@Secret_Soul_Survivor we live a very privileged area of Texas and there is a LOT of sadness in some of these rich kids raised by credit cards and maids. They want to come to our modest home because we all eat dinner together every night and take them to church and talk with them about what is going on in there lives. Same problems...different side of the tracks.
I would like to hear more stories of addicts that come from different backgrounds bc addiction doesn’t discriminate. Not every addict was molested or brought up with no parents, etc. There are ppl that don’t have the sad gloomy childhood that still struggle with addiction & self sabotage, etc. I’d like to hear their stories as well.
Sure John.....
i wouldn’t consider it perfect
I'm not homeless but I relate to his story so much. My looks get me opportunities even when my financial situation is bad. My vanity keeps me from doing something TOO wild or gnarly. I grew up with a tinge of privilege, no physical struggles, just mental struggles of being lonely and wanting friends and companions. My life went downhill and it didn't have to, and I was the black sheep of my family.
Stop being a little as little shkidbbwh
I felt this also. My husband and I were both entitled kids that ended up rebelling a bit also. Not as bad as this guy, but the same idea. Money definitely does not buy happiness.
@@teekolinski491 exactly. It buys comfort but not the happiness.
same but I got up over it by maturing into a caring person who works in a helping field. Still hard to trust and be close to others, tho.
@@bed5513 Can you repeat that in English?
I am watching this young guy, privileged but empty inside. Before this, I watched a heartbreaking documentary about young boys 8-12 years old living alone on the streets in Pakistan, selling their bodies every night to get some food, drugs or a place to sleep. Same planet, totally different worlds but both living empty, hopeless lives. Why are we like this? So much suffering!
I know this dude! We were in rehab together for 6 months in LA! I haven't seen him since 2014. We were actually pretty close. He's a good dude though, I like him a lot.
This guy is so honest. I don't think he's giving himself enough credit. Hes a sweet man. I live in Myrtle Beach SC and I am now almost 4 years clean from Fentanyl.
Congrats 🥳
Good for you! Not easy 👍
Good job!!
Good work👍
Not everyone is close to able to kick the habit , especially fentanyl , you're really a rare bird I must say and congratulations❤️