My heart goes you to you both, Alyssa and Heather. Kudos to you for standing up and telling your side of the story. It's unfortunate that some ppl can't be adults in these situations.
Heather, you raised the most beautiful, sweet and lovely person and it is so obvious what great mom you are. People are so weird! Tney are really missing out. Wishing you and yours every possible joy. You deserve it.
Heather, I was estranged from my dad for 30 years. At first, for years, my sister and I tried reconciliation. After a while, though, we realized that our lives were so much less stressful. We were no longer having to jump through hoops for someone, no longer being forced to play someone else's emotional games. We were able to grow and mature emotionally in ways we would not have been able to had we still been in a relationship with him. We reconciled before he died, when I was 52. I hate to say it, but the estrangement was actually beneficial for us. I hope that someday you will be able to reconcile, but also that you find a peace in the estrangement. Alyssa, you are a wonderful daughter for your mom. 🫂 & 💙 to you both.
I’m so sorry you are going through this. I completely understand why you’ve decided to share your side. I’m so glad you have Alexander and his sweet family and that you have each other. My cousin found out that her dad (my dad’s brother) was not her biological dad as well. She is still my cousin regardless, no different than had she been adopted. I love her the same. My uncle recently passed and he was the only dad she ever knew. He loved her and raised her the same as her siblings. She’s struggling with how much she misses him. She was able to find out her bio dad has already passed as well and found her bio brother from her dad. He and his family was able to meet her and her kids and they are growing a terrific friendship as 50+ year old adults. I admire her so much.
It’s their loss. You are two wonderful open hearted sweet ladies. They are putting their pride, and let’s face it embarrassment ahead of their children’s happiness! I hope you find peace in your ongoing journey. I am glad you found two half brothers in your journey! Stay well Heather and Alyssa.
Thank you for sharing! How sad that grown adults behave in such childish ways! DNA doesn't lie, so they're lying to themselves. I'm sad that you've been treated like this! My husband (through Ancestry DNA) found a 1/2 sister he never knew he had, and they're working on building a relationship. Stay strong and spend the time with those who love you!
I'm so sorry it became, "they chose each other over me." It isn't just sad it really makes no sense. It seems like you are being blamed for what others were doing around your conception, not to mention that you really are their child. The child they raised. Heather, you seem like a really sweet lady, I pray for your healing and happiness, and I'm glad you have Alex and Steve in your life.
Alyssa has grown up and matured since the first time Alexander introduced us to you both, and what a rock for Heather who did nothing wrong and yet scapegoated for other's behaviour. Big big hug Heather ❤
I’m so sorry that things went this way with your family. People are complicated. You just have to do the best you can do, and let go even though it hurts. You’re really lucky to have so many other family members who are supportive and loving. Many others aren’t so lucky.
It just baffles me how your mom and dad could think they were your bio parents but never think they couldn't be? Doesn't your mom know who she slept with? Surely she had to think at one time that maybe your dad wasn't your dad? And then to find out and blame you is just....WOW! How selfish can a person be? I am so sorry you and Alyssa have to go through this. But I'm super glad that you 2 are being the adults, accepting what is, and moving forward. At least you have Alex and his loving family! :)
You girls are wonderful for sharing. If they don't want any contact then why are they watching your YT??? I am sorry for all you have gone through but at least you have Alex & his family. One they the other family members will want to be in your life & it will be to late. Hope the new year will bring you peace & love😀
My husband didn’t find out until he was maybe 13, that his dad wasn’t his biological dad. His grandmother felt like he should know and told him. She actually found his biological dad and my hubby visited him and his family a few times during his teen years. When we had our first child, I contacted him to let him know he was a grandfather. After that, we visited back and forth. Hubby has a great relationship with his half brother and sister. His biological father and his wife are both deceased.
Thanks for sharing your Story. It takes strength to recover from that kind of rejection. Let love lead you and it's ok to keep negative relationships far away. Bless you all.
Denial and guilt is a deep emotional issue. So sorry that they can’t own up to the past and get on with the relationships with your family. But your better without the toxicity
It really sucks that Heather started all this because she was thinking of helping the father she grew up with to find more family, and he just turned his back on her. 😢 Both my parents passed away in 2011, but just about I think a year ago, my daughter did an Ancestry test and I found out I have a half brother. It's really sad to me that my dad died never knowing about him.
It’s so sad that this has happened especially when you’ve done all you could to bridge the gap and keep the door open to both your parents and your daughter. I’m glad that you have each other and Alexander and his family to ease the pain this must cause.
Heather, I got to know you thru Alex. You are such a very strong lady, and have handled this so graciously. Alyssa, you have your mother's strength and grace. Thank you both for showing the world how to handle lifes adversities without blind rage as so many do. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
Sending you positive energy, keep protecting your space and energy and be as you are, open to joy and life. A situation today won’t necessarily be the same tomorrow so be at peace ❤
This happened in my life as well, with my youngest son. At the age of 16, he just cut off our relationship. We used to be so very close, I still don't know what happened. He is now into his 30's, and despite my passing a message to him, that I will just listen to his reasons, without defense, he never reached out. He and I were at the wedding of my daughter years later, and he would not look, or speak to me... When the other person/persons won't put effort into repairing a relationship, there is nothing you can do, but I chose to live my life with love in my heart, and not let it change me. I enjoy those around me who possess unconditional love. I will always leaving to door open for reconciliation, and I will continue to pray for him. God bless!
You have done nothing wrong. You're a grown woman and your parents. Look at you like a child. You're always gon to be there, child, but you're an adult child there. They're guilt is bringing them down and that's selfish because they're not looking at anyone else. Feelings but there own.Its not easy to understand why❤ people do what they do.And sadly their stubbornness because that's what it is.They will miss out on there families life.They will have regrets at the end.Sadly . I am glad you have chosen to walk on.Being miserable will never make you happy.Blessings to all .❤
This is YOUR story….don’t let anyone silence you. It is your human right to know who your people are. You do not have to keep other people’s secrets…you are only as sick as your secrets….. heal!
Hello from Canada 🇨🇦 🎉. I found you on your own merits. Although yes I know of your uncles Channel and I have been to his store in the past. But. I truly have been listening for Curiosity! Not Curiosity ink. Lol. Very insightful video. Thank you for sharing. As a fellow UA-camr. May I just say it’s very hard for some families to understand our “craft”. In the short and the long of it. Our content is showing the world our life through our eyes. Sometimes our loved ones don’t interpret it as that. Dew to not seeing life from our shoes. We may be conveying something positive and they see it as a negative . It’s usually not that at all. Enjoyed your storey time. And mom. Well done. You conveyed love to all. They just have to accept your love. 💕
I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing your story. You are both very articulate. I have such a hard time assembling my thoughts when my dinosaur brain (5 year old, amydala) is telling me to run, freeze or hide. It's amazing how the enemy works us against one another. Remember, the Apostle Paul told us, "Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against the spiritual wickedness in high places." We forgive the person who is held captive by the enemy and pray for their deliverance. May God shield you from all bitterness. Continue to put the relationship under the blood of Jesus. Jesus is our example. He walks before us to lead us in the path of salvation and deliverance for others. I pray for the salvation of your family and one day, reconciliation in Christ.
I am so sorry Heather of this horrific ordeal as myself I can relate as our Family has had similar experiences, remember you two are very strong & in the end it is the other parties loss & @ great deal of guilt on their part...
I don't agree with your parent's decision. I do understand that they grew up in a different time. That may be influencing their choice. It's sad. You can't make them do anything. You are worthy of living a wonderful life. I hope you can move forward with strength and love.
Just remember your wonderful person I haven’t talked to my mother since 2007 here it is 2025 and I was married and my husband passed away. He had cancer and she didn’t even know he was dead. Just be yourself love yourself and remember your friends and daughter is your family now no matter what you’re knew who your parents are and you are a nice person. Just remember that from Youngstown, Ohio.
This is heartbreaking. I am a senior citizen (73) and I do not have children. I would have loved exactly a daughter and granddaughter as you two. The only way that I have survived heartache in this life is my love for Christ. Everyone may leave me but He is the one constant that keeps me okay with life.
I applaud you Heather and Alyssa for sharing your side. Both of you absolutely nothing wrong! Their was no reason for your parents, Heather, to act the way they did. The only reason has to be embarrassment on your Mom’s side. Things happen in life and instead of asking for your forgiveness and moving on, they want to brush it right under the rug. Family is important! They obviously don’t think that way and are being very selfish. As for Nicole, I have a sister much like her and just really don’t understand their mindset. I’m so glad that Alyssa has your back Heather. I have just learned to move on and love the family I do have that love me back. Their really is nothing you can do about it, as Alyssa stated. You try to reach out and you just hit a wall. I have finally just learned to move on from that wall and love life the way it is. It is their loss. You two are very sweet and don’t deserve that type of treatment. Lots of love and ((HUGS))!! ❤
I went through almost the exact same thing only with my mother, my mother and father divorced when I was when I was in second grade I hardly saw my father. I was always with my mother side of the family because she got me scared of my father and his family but just remember one thing your friends and your daughter is your family and you are a wonderful person. Just remember that you’re a good hearted person so remember that love you from Youngstown Ohio.
DNA doesn’t lie, people do ! Their loss. It’s sad that they cant deal with the truth. The fault lies with your Mom. Shame on her for treating you like this.
My Sister, Jane and I just came across this video and want to share with you, how PRECIOUS you both are and that we Love you and know your pain. We've experienced rejection from Family...in a different way, but very painful as you two are expressing here. We want to say, may the LORD BLESS YOU BOTH and those close to you. Meeting all of your needs and fulfilling the desires of your hearts as you struggle through these difficult times. Just know that Jane and I hold you in our hearts and in our prayers. And just want to encourage you, in the name of JESUS. BTW, we're in Oklahoma. And pray you have a BLESSED and Prosperous New Year, knowing you are Loved by many out here who have come across your YT Channel. You Girls are awesome!❤🙏
Oddly enough, I just watched Alexander's latest video, then yours popped up. I've followed yours and Alexander's sibling journey from the beginning. My heart hurts for you. Your parents have missed out on so very much. It's truly tragic. Your mom is dealing with her feelings of shame about your conception. Your dad is dealing with the fact, and I suppose the shame and anger, that he thought he was your "real" dad and it turns out he's not. Who knows if your mom always knew the truth. It shouldn't matter, but, sadly, to them it does. The secret came out with the dna test, obviously. They are taking their shame and anger out on you, the innocent result. I think they must need to be in a form of denial as the only way they can keep their marriage/relationship intact. Their denial has taken the form of erasing you, and really, your existence from their lives. Apparently that's the only way they can handle the truth. I imagine they're unable to discuss the circumstances of your conception with each other. It's a taboo subject. So, they deflect their feelings onto you. I think it's good that you are speaking out about the whole situation. The vow of silence you were guilted into taking is rightfully broken. Speaking out will, I think, stop you from being further victimized, and you really have been victimized. YOU are the innocent victim throughout all of this, the scapegoat. What you're now doing is what I call "schventing" - that's my word for sharing and venting. I believe that schventing is sometimes necessary and good for your mental health and your soul. I want you to know that I understand something of what you're going through. Almost ten years ago, one of my daughters and her husband decided to "divorce" both of their families. They moved to another state, and I haven't seen them or their son since he was five months old. My daughter had a baby girl, now four. I only found out about it accidentally. Fortunately, I have other children and grandchildren. Very sadly for his parents, my son-in-law is an only child. I keep the door open, so to speak. I send my daughter birthday cards. I send the children birthday cards and presents, same with Christmas. It's not their fault this has happened. They are innocent victims as well, just as you, Alyssa, and your grandchildren are.
I watched Alex's channel when he introduced you. I was so excited for him when you two met. Often, I wondered if you had a relationship with your parents. I'm so sorry this has happened to you and your family. They're missing out on their great-granddaughter. How sad.
I'm so sorry these people weren't able to handle something that literally made no difference in the prior 47 years you spent with them as family. Sometimes family has nothing to do with DNA. None of this was your fault...you did a DNA exploration and GOD gave you the results. Some people go from cradle to grave without ever even passing through maturity. I hope your health continues to improve.
Feel so sorry for everyone going through this. I myself at age 63 just found out that I have a 33 year old nephew that I never knew about. We have yet to meet but hope that will eventually happen.
You started the DNA search from a place of love wanting to do something for your father and they turn their backs on you? Your the victim. I heard something recently that has helped with my estranged family that really put so much in perspective. “If your absence doesn't bother them then your presence never mattered to them in the first place” Dido Stargaze I hope it helps.
The DNA tests can have such insane complications. My father was adopted, twice. We always knew that. He told use stories of what he could remember about the first 5 years of his life. He died years ago. We decided to do a test, in part because my Mom's side of the family is big on genealogy, but we were also curious what we could learn. And OH BOY did we learn some stuff. I ended up matching with people who were related to my dad's bio parents. I started doing the research, and what I learned could seriously be a novel. I won't go into all of the details, but what I learned matched up almost exactly to the random memories my Dad always told us -- some of them fairly traumatic events, especially with his first adoptive parents, who happened to also be blood relatives. I learned his biological mother and his first adoptive mother, who were first cousins and very close, are buried next to each other. I made contact with some distant biological cousins, including one woman who had heard about my dad and had also been searching because she always wondered what happened to him. It turns out she had a photo of his bio parents just before he was born, and few people knew what happened to the baby. She's a lovely woman... but we agreed to stop communicating because it BLEW UP some family secrets on their side of the family, and has ruined some relationships, even though neither of us intended it. I also learned that my dad's biological father lived within 20 minutes of us for many years and they worked for the SAME company. My dad never knew, and we don't think his bio father knew, either -- as their names were obviously different. But his biological father was not a good man. Wives and children who came along later were absolutely shocked at what they learned, entire backstories were fabricated. While I don't regret doing the DNA test, I feel bad that people's entire life stories and identities were turned upside down. All we wanted to do was to fill in some holes of my dad's early years...and we did that... but the aftermath on that dies of the family went deep, really deep.
I believe when someone hides things like this for years, and it catches up with them it's easier for them to ignore, and stay away from the problem. Your dad rather not call your mom out on it, because he wants to back up your mom, avoid arguing with her. It burst a bubble and reality is not being accept, on their part. God and judgement day. Parents should never blame their child for what they did. Rather they weren't sure what and when it happened, or not. The proof is clearly there. It's definitely your Mom that's having the issues. She now knows, but refuses the true, and clearly is heartless. Like some how you can change the fact of your real dad. Sad but I've met people like this, and you just pray they learn to not just think of themselves, and accept facts. 🙏🏼 ❤ sorry for your pain. Hugs I will add, if it's a case of rape, it is understandable why some woman wouldn't want to be reminded of that pregnancy. But the child/adult still needs to know, once the facts come out, in order to understand. I have a family member this happened to.
The issue seems to be the story of Heather's parentage has been made public over social media and become known internationally. The parents appear to feel the releasing of the facts of the story as a very public humiliation -- and Nicole references this same feeling in her last message to Alyssa. The parents asked for the story to stay within the family/those affected, but this was refused. You could argue this was very disrespectful to the parents - it clearly crossed a red line for them. We do need to be careful about what we put online and accept the consequences.
@@judithpride1690 Yes those are my thoughts as well. We only know one side of the story. I remember when this became public, it was Alex who announced this to the world without thinking about the consequences. He did the same after meeting Nicole. Heather had not sorted things out with her parents before things got complicated and feelings were hurt on both sides. Alex also lost contact with an Aunt and Uncle who also didn’t want this private matter aired on the internet. It could have all been different if it had initially been kept private, all concerned actually met up and sorted it out before going public.
@@lyndaf.6329in this day and age, what really matters is you’re family! Please I found out in 1966 my older sister(10 years older) was a half sister by accident! There’s 6 of us, me being the youngest, we’re still family, my sister around 30 years ago found her real father! No on disowned any one…please
@@judithpride1690There is nothing to be ashamed of in this situation except for a mother that would disown her own child for something she, herself, did years ago. Heather was an innocent child. Heather’s mom is definitely at fault for allowing this huge divide. As a mother…I can’t fathom it. It’s absolutely ridiculous and heartbreaking. The shame wasn’t in the original moment but rather in her response to the truth. She has time to make it right…that’s the good news.
I’m dumb founded the fact your parents are blaming you because you found out? That’s crazy they should be begging your forgiveness! I’m praying for you! Besides your daughter is wise and definitely has a heart.
Something I struggled to accept was this: Some women have broken maternal instincts. They and their choices are inexplicable to those of us with a strong instinct. A harder lesson to learn is this: And some PEOPLE have *very* dysfunctional mental or emotional reactions to real life. And will cut off and/or blame others. That second group inevitably includes family or friends. People you either had not realized cannot handle normal situations, or you excused past behavior as isolated. You can't fix either group. And you can't stop the fallout either- we can only accept their choices AND just gracefully step back. Any better step is now on them.
Your parents have no self awareness as to how this all affects you and that they may be wrong with how they are no treating you. My mother is much the same. She can be mean and demanding but always puts the blame on others. This is what has happened to you. I have not spock to my mother in 7 weeks now. I have reached out three times and get no reply. I did everything for my 90 year old mother. As hurtful this is for you and your daughter you must live you life as best you can. You can reach out to your parents but you may not get the reply you want or perhaps things will change in a positive way. My mother is a narcissist and thinks she is always right.. this is where the " having no self awareness comes in" Like myself you are banished for doing something loving for your father. By doing that a secret was unveiled making you the bad guy. Blessings to you both. Stay strong and make new memories as you heal from this. I think if my mother really loved me she would want me in her life. I'm 73 she had me at 16. I'm the oldest of 6. My father passed away five years ago. It's so selfish of your parents to banish you as you are struggling with health problems. One or both of your parents may be narcissist's. Look it up it may explain a great deal. I would love to have the tow of you in my life.
I'm sorry guys for all of this😢 Shame on your father and mother for allowing this situation 😪 I'm so happy you have your daughter 💝 The DNA tests has only Spoken truths... I lost my intire family 6 brothers And 2 sisters due to lies Apone lies and money... I took the DNA test just for fun" But WHAT a time bomb 💣 When I got back my results I was like um nooo So I took another test It came back the exact same Results. I won't get into the Drama but my son lost his uncles and aunties Cousins..
Did you tell your mother privately about the dna test or did you give the info to mom and dad together? I think I’d have told my mother privately at first….
You and your mom have done nothing wrong. It's sad that your moms' parents are basically blaming your mom for the fact that your mom found out who her real dad is. And the fact that they have ended any relationship with you all makes me think you are better off. As for your half sister. Screw her.
I think you need to look behind the side of the story that they are not sharing. There were obvious problems in this family before the DNA business. Such throw away comments as „ I never really had a close relationship with my grandparents so I don’t miss them“ or „ when me and Dorian would split up he would ask about Nicole“ etc lead me to think that the parents are upset about their dirty laundry being washed in public instead of being discussed privately. In all the videos that they have been posted over the years I’ve never had the impression that there was ever a family face to face meeting, everything was done by text or phone. As for Nicole, it seems that she had an insecure start to life with a mother who, because of her young age, made many mistakes that were not sorted out later. I feel for Heather but I do think that she needs to face up to the truth and stop putting all the blame on her parents and take responsibility for her own actions over the years. It's so sad that her parents have decided to cut her out of their lives but maybe this was the final straw that broke the camels back. Who knows , I doubt that we will ever get both sides of the story.
I’m not even going to entertain most of what you typed out, I’m just going to say- impressions of people’s lives formed simply from watching UA-cam videos will never be accurate. We summed up 5 years worth of trauma in 47 minutes, so obviously we didn’t get to share every conversation or every small detail.
@@AlyssaHalasehI'm a little confused and maybe I read it wrong but the description says this video was taped in August you just couldn't release it but then when you were talking you said you were filming vlogmas are you talking about the Christmas before you just happened to be talking about it in August cuz you said you were filming vlogmas video. I apologize maybe I heard something wrong
There is trauma that happens that sometimes you cannot get over. I am not trivializing how you feel, only trying to explain why your parents may feel as they do. Even though now there isn't a stigma about having a child and not being married, back in the 60s and 70s, there was. And it varied depending on where you lived. If you lived in a very conservative state, you got no help from the government if you were under 18. Now I will tell you my story . In 1972, at age 16, I had a baby. I grew up in a very conservative state, with equally conservative parents. I was forced to give the baby up for adoption because of the shame I had brought to the family. I was sent away to a " home for unwed mothers" and was not allowed to come back into my parents home until it was over. I can't tell you how many times I considered unaliving myself, but I didn't have friends, anyone to talk to, so I couldn't figure out how to do it. I know it sounds strange in this day and age, but that's the way it was. I was told everything was sealed, records were sealed and nobody woukd know. To go on with my life. So I did. I married, had other children, etc. I never told my children about that other child. A few years ago, that child, now a grown man, of course, contacted me. He had found the information. I cannot bring myself to meet him simply because it brings back the trauma of that time in my life. Please try to understand that perhaps your parents experienced trauma and it has come to the surface. Nobody is saying that it's your fault, it isn't, but I imagine that it's very hard for them. Something that had been buried has resurfaced and now they feel like they have to deal with it again.
@derrickfolkmanman I'm sure it does and I feel terrible about it but it just brings back so many things that I don't want to think about that I cant face it.
I understand. Your mother has been exposed and feels deep shame. Your dad (not real one) is hell bent on protecting her and attacking you as he is full of rage. Your bio-dad and brother are more like you - kind and forgiving. There is a lot in the blood that shapes us.
She doesn't want her communications with you on a vlog or a podcast. Her only way to have that is to stop her communications with you. To leave it at that seems the only thing you can do.
My heart goes you to you both, Alyssa and Heather.
Kudos to you for standing up and telling your side of the story.
It's unfortunate that some ppl can't be adults in these situations.
You two are wise and wonderful women. Thank you for sharing ❤
Heather, you raised the most beautiful, sweet and lovely person and it is so obvious what great mom you are. People are so weird! Tney are really missing out. Wishing you and yours every possible joy. You deserve it.
Heather, I was estranged from my dad for 30 years. At first, for years, my sister and I tried reconciliation. After a while, though, we realized that our lives were so much less stressful. We were no longer having to jump through hoops for someone, no longer being forced to play someone else's emotional games. We were able to grow and mature emotionally in ways we would not have been able to had we still been in a relationship with him. We reconciled before he died, when I was 52. I hate to say it, but the estrangement was actually beneficial for us. I hope that someday you will be able to reconcile, but also that you find a peace in the estrangement.
Alyssa, you are a wonderful daughter for your mom.
🫂 & 💙 to you both.
I’m so sorry you are going through this. I completely understand why you’ve decided to share your side. I’m so glad you have Alexander and his sweet family and that you have each other. My cousin found out that her dad (my dad’s brother) was not her biological dad as well. She is still my cousin regardless, no different than had she been adopted. I love her the same. My uncle recently passed and he was the only dad she ever knew. He loved her and raised her the same as her siblings. She’s struggling with how much she misses him. She was able to find out her bio dad has already passed as well and found her bio brother from her dad. He and his family was able to meet her and her kids and they are growing a terrific friendship as 50+ year old adults. I admire her so much.
It’s their loss. You are two wonderful open hearted sweet ladies. They are putting their pride, and let’s face it embarrassment ahead of their children’s happiness! I hope you find peace in your ongoing journey. I am glad you found two half brothers in your journey! Stay well Heather and Alyssa.
You got Alex and Steve out of the deal. Win win for you all as they are loving and see you as family
Thank you both for doing this video
Thank you for sharing! How sad that grown adults behave in such childish ways! DNA doesn't lie, so they're lying to themselves. I'm sad that you've been treated like this! My husband (through Ancestry DNA) found a 1/2 sister he never knew he had, and they're working on building a relationship. Stay strong and spend the time with those who love you!
Welcome to the scapegoat club. This club sucks. I’m so glad you have each other.
I'm so sorry it became, "they chose each other over me." It isn't just sad it really makes no sense. It seems like you are being blamed for what others were doing around your conception, not to mention that you really are their child. The child they raised. Heather, you seem like a really sweet lady, I pray for your healing and happiness, and I'm glad you have Alex and Steve in your life.
Alyssa has grown up and matured since the first time Alexander introduced us to you both, and what a rock for Heather who did nothing wrong and yet scapegoated for other's behaviour. Big big hug Heather ❤
My heart goes out to you both.
I’m so sorry that things went this way with your family. People are complicated. You just have to do the best you can do, and let go even though it hurts. You’re really lucky to have so many other family members who are supportive and loving. Many others aren’t so lucky.
It just baffles me how your mom and dad could think they were your bio parents but never think they couldn't be? Doesn't your mom know who she slept with? Surely she had to think at one time that maybe your dad wasn't your dad? And then to find out and blame you is just....WOW! How selfish can a person be? I am so sorry you and Alyssa have to go through this. But I'm super glad that you 2 are being the adults, accepting what is, and moving forward. At least you have Alex and his loving family! :)
Wow. Not all women are hoes
It's called projection. A child finding out her parent isn't really her parent has no blame in the situation. She is totally innocent.
You have a wonderful family with your brothers I'm glad you connected with Alex and your older brother.
You two are wonderful ladies.🥰🩷💕
Thanks for sharing these difficult times in your lives with us. Heather, I sometimes drink fenugreek tea for my liver.
I'm sorry you both had to go through this.❤Stay strong ladies!
You girls are wonderful for sharing. If they don't want any contact then why are they watching your YT??? I am sorry for all you have gone through but at least you have Alex & his family. One they the other family members will want to be in your life & it will be to late. Hope the new year will bring you peace & love😀
My husband didn’t find out until he was maybe 13, that his dad wasn’t his biological dad. His grandmother felt like he should know and told him. She actually found his biological dad and my hubby visited him and his family a few times during his teen years. When we had our first child, I contacted him to let him know he was a grandfather. After that, we visited back and forth. Hubby has a great relationship with his half brother and sister. His biological father and his wife are both deceased.
I'm sorry you two are going through this. Family is complicated. ((hugs))
Thanks for sharing your Story. It takes strength to recover from that kind of rejection. Let love lead you and it's ok to keep negative relationships far away. Bless you all.
Denial and guilt is a deep emotional issue. So sorry that they can’t own up to the past and get on with the relationships with your family. But your better without the toxicity
It really sucks that Heather started all this because she was thinking of helping the father she grew up with to find more family, and he just turned his back on her. 😢
Both my parents passed away in 2011, but just about I think a year ago, my daughter did an Ancestry test and I found out I have a half brother. It's really sad to me that my dad died never knowing about him.
I thought she looked familiar. I know this story. Good hearing your side.
It’s so sad that this has happened especially when you’ve done all you could to bridge the gap and keep the door open to both your parents and your daughter. I’m glad that you have each other and Alexander and his family to ease the pain this must cause.
Heather, I got to know you thru Alex. You are such a very strong lady, and have handled this so graciously.
Alyssa, you have your mother's strength and grace.
Thank you both for showing the world how to handle lifes adversities without blind rage as so many do. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
Sending you positive energy, keep protecting your space and energy and be as you are, open to joy and life. A situation today won’t necessarily be the same tomorrow so be at peace ❤
So sad, they are missing out on adorable henry and theo and Alexander and his family
This happened in my life as well, with my youngest son. At the age of 16, he just cut off our relationship. We used to be so very close, I still don't know what happened. He is now into his 30's, and despite my passing a message to him, that I will just listen to his reasons, without defense, he never reached out. He and I were at the wedding of my daughter years later, and he would not look, or speak to me...
When the other person/persons won't put effort into repairing a relationship, there is nothing you can do, but I chose to live my life with love in my heart, and not let it change me. I enjoy those around me who possess unconditional love. I will always leaving to door open for reconciliation, and I will continue to pray for him.
God bless!
Yes to all that ❤ I'll be praying for you as well!
You have done nothing wrong. You're a grown woman and your parents. Look at you like a child. You're always gon to be there, child, but you're an adult child there. They're guilt is bringing them down and that's selfish because they're not looking at anyone else. Feelings but there own.Its not easy to understand why❤ people do what they do.And sadly their stubbornness because that's what it is.They will miss out on there families life.They will have regrets at the end.Sadly . I am glad you have chosen to walk on.Being miserable will never make you happy.Blessings to all .❤
This is YOUR story….don’t let anyone silence you. It is your human right to know who your people are. You do not have to keep other people’s secrets…you are only as sick as your secrets….. heal!
Hello from Canada 🇨🇦 🎉. I found you on your own merits. Although yes I know of your uncles Channel and I have been to his store in the past.
But. I truly have been listening for Curiosity! Not Curiosity ink. Lol.
Very insightful video. Thank you for sharing. As a fellow UA-camr. May I just say it’s very hard for some families to understand our “craft”. In the short and the long of it. Our content is showing the world our life through our eyes. Sometimes our loved ones don’t interpret it as that. Dew to not seeing life from our shoes. We may be conveying something positive and they see it as a negative . It’s usually not that at all.
Enjoyed your storey time. And mom. Well done. You conveyed love to all. They just have to accept your love. 💕
I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing your story. You are both very articulate. I have such a hard time assembling my thoughts when my dinosaur brain (5 year old, amydala) is telling me to run, freeze or hide. It's amazing how the enemy works us against one another. Remember, the Apostle Paul told us, "Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against the spiritual wickedness in high places."
We forgive the person who is held captive by the enemy and pray for their deliverance. May God shield you from all bitterness. Continue to put the relationship under the blood of Jesus. Jesus is our example. He walks before us to lead us in the path of salvation and deliverance for others. I pray for the salvation of your family and one day, reconciliation in Christ.
I am so sorry Heather of this horrific ordeal as myself I can relate as our Family has had similar experiences, remember you two are very strong & in the end it is the other parties loss & @ great deal of guilt on their part...
I don't agree with your parent's decision. I do understand that they grew up in a different time. That may be influencing their choice. It's sad. You can't make them do anything.
You are worthy of living a wonderful life. I hope you can move forward with strength and love.
Just remember your wonderful person I haven’t talked to my mother since 2007 here it is 2025 and I was married and my husband passed away. He had cancer and she didn’t even know he was dead. Just be yourself love yourself and remember your friends and daughter is your family now no matter what you’re knew who your parents are and you are a nice person. Just remember that from Youngstown, Ohio.
This is heartbreaking. I am a senior citizen (73) and I do not have children. I would have loved exactly a daughter and granddaughter as you two. The only way that I have survived heartache in this life is my love for Christ. Everyone may leave me but He is the one constant that keeps me okay with life.
I applaud you Heather and Alyssa for sharing your side. Both of you absolutely nothing wrong! Their was no reason for your parents, Heather, to act the way they did. The only reason has to be embarrassment on your Mom’s side. Things happen in life and instead of asking for your forgiveness and moving on, they want to brush it right under the rug. Family is important! They obviously don’t think that way and are being very selfish. As for Nicole, I have a sister much like her and just really don’t understand their mindset. I’m so glad that Alyssa has your back Heather. I have just learned to move on and love the family I do have that love me back. Their really is nothing you can do about it, as Alyssa stated. You try to reach out and you just hit a wall. I have finally just learned to move on from that wall and love life the way it is. It is their loss. You two are very sweet and don’t deserve that type of treatment. Lots of love and ((HUGS))!! ❤
I went through almost the exact same thing only with my mother, my mother and father divorced when I was when I was in second grade I hardly saw my father. I was always with my mother side of the family because she got me scared of my father and his family but just remember one thing your friends and your daughter is your family and you are a wonderful person. Just remember that you’re a good hearted person so remember that love you from Youngstown Ohio.
Betrayal trauma from a parent is difficult to forgive, certainly something we can’t forget.
I just stopped to leave a comment & come back to watch later!!! I recognized Heather’s smile from Alex’s videos❤❤
Wow what a roller coaster for you all, ❤
DNA doesn’t lie, people do ! Their loss. It’s sad that they cant deal with the truth. The fault lies with your Mom. Shame on her for treating you like this.
My Sister, Jane and I just came across this video and want to share with you, how PRECIOUS you both are and that we Love you and know your pain. We've experienced rejection from Family...in a different way, but very painful as you two are expressing here. We want to say, may the LORD BLESS YOU BOTH and those close to you. Meeting all of your needs and fulfilling the desires of your hearts as you struggle through these difficult times. Just know that Jane and I hold you in our hearts and in our prayers. And just want to encourage you, in the name of JESUS. BTW, we're in Oklahoma. And pray you have a BLESSED and Prosperous New Year, knowing you are Loved by many out here who have come across your YT Channel. You Girls are awesome!❤🙏
Oddly enough, I just watched Alexander's latest video, then yours popped up. I've followed yours and Alexander's sibling journey from the beginning. My heart hurts for you. Your parents have missed out on so very much. It's truly tragic.
Your mom is dealing with her feelings of shame about your conception. Your dad is dealing with the fact, and I suppose the shame and anger, that he thought he was your "real" dad and it turns out he's not. Who knows if your mom always knew the truth. It shouldn't matter, but, sadly, to them it does. The secret came out with the dna test, obviously. They are taking their shame and anger out on you, the innocent result. I think they must need to be in a form of denial as the only way they can keep their marriage/relationship intact. Their denial has taken the form of erasing you, and really, your existence from their lives. Apparently that's the only way they can handle the truth. I imagine they're unable to discuss the circumstances of your conception with each other. It's a taboo subject. So, they deflect their feelings onto you.
I think it's good that you are speaking out about the whole situation. The vow of silence you were guilted into taking is rightfully broken. Speaking out will, I think, stop you from being further victimized, and you really have been victimized. YOU are the innocent victim throughout all of this, the scapegoat. What you're now doing is what I call "schventing" - that's my word for sharing and venting. I believe that schventing is sometimes necessary and good for your mental health and your soul.
I want you to know that I understand something of what you're going through. Almost ten years ago, one of my daughters and her husband decided to "divorce" both of their families. They moved to another state, and I haven't seen them or their son since he was five months old. My daughter had a baby girl, now four. I only found out about it accidentally. Fortunately, I have other children and grandchildren. Very sadly for his parents, my son-in-law is an only child. I keep the door open, so to speak. I send my daughter birthday cards. I send the children birthday cards and presents, same with Christmas. It's not their fault this has happened. They are innocent victims as well, just as you, Alyssa, and your grandchildren are.
Well said! I’m glad she has Steve and Alex.❤
I can relate, my daughter, the eldest, has told her brother she doesn't want to even be friends with me. But she still wants my money.
I watched Alex's channel when he introduced you. I was so excited for him when you two met. Often, I wondered if you had a relationship with your parents. I'm so sorry this has happened to you and your family. They're missing out on their great-granddaughter. How sad.
I'm so sorry these people weren't able to handle something that literally made no difference in the prior 47 years you spent with them as family. Sometimes family has nothing to do with DNA. None of this was your fault...you did a DNA exploration and GOD gave you the results. Some people go from cradle to grave without ever even passing through maturity. I hope your health continues to improve.
Feel so sorry for everyone going through this. I myself at age 63 just found out that I have a 33 year old nephew that I never knew about. We have yet to meet but hope that will eventually happen.
I'm so excited for you both to meet ❤
You started the DNA search from a place of love wanting to do something for your father and they turn their backs on you? Your the victim. I heard something recently that has helped with my estranged family that really put so much in perspective. “If your absence doesn't bother them then your presence never mattered to them in the first place” Dido Stargaze I hope it helps.
That's a powerful statement ❤ thank you for sharing that!
I would love to give your Mom a hug! Please give her one for me!❤
I don't even know why I'm here but I'm always down to hear someone's side lol
The DNA tests can have such insane complications. My father was adopted, twice. We always knew that. He told use stories of what he could remember about the first 5 years of his life. He died years ago. We decided to do a test, in part because my Mom's side of the family is big on genealogy, but we were also curious what we could learn. And OH BOY did we learn some stuff. I ended up matching with people who were related to my dad's bio parents. I started doing the research, and what I learned could seriously be a novel. I won't go into all of the details, but what I learned matched up almost exactly to the random memories my Dad always told us -- some of them fairly traumatic events, especially with his first adoptive parents, who happened to also be blood relatives. I learned his biological mother and his first adoptive mother, who were first cousins and very close, are buried next to each other. I made contact with some distant biological cousins, including one woman who had heard about my dad and had also been searching because she always wondered what happened to him. It turns out she had a photo of his bio parents just before he was born, and few people knew what happened to the baby. She's a lovely woman... but we agreed to stop communicating because it BLEW UP some family secrets on their side of the family, and has ruined some relationships, even though neither of us intended it. I also learned that my dad's biological father lived within 20 minutes of us for many years and they worked for the SAME company. My dad never knew, and we don't think his bio father knew, either -- as their names were obviously different. But his biological father was not a good man. Wives and children who came along later were absolutely shocked at what they learned, entire backstories were fabricated. While I don't regret doing the DNA test, I feel bad that people's entire life stories and identities were turned upside down. All we wanted to do was to fill in some holes of my dad's early years...and we did that... but the aftermath on that dies of the family went deep, really deep.
Alyssa, you truly love your Mother ❤❤❤❤❤Hugs♥️♥️♥️♥️🙏🙏🙏🙏
I believe when someone hides things like this for years, and it catches up with them it's easier for them to ignore, and stay away from the problem. Your dad rather not call your mom out on it, because he wants to back up your mom, avoid arguing with her. It burst a bubble and reality is not being accept, on their part.
God and judgement day.
Parents should never blame their child for what they did. Rather they weren't sure what and when it happened, or not. The proof is clearly there. It's definitely your Mom that's having the issues. She now knows, but refuses the true, and clearly is heartless. Like some how you can change the fact of your real dad. Sad but I've met people like this, and you just pray they learn to not just think of themselves, and accept facts. 🙏🏼 ❤ sorry for your pain. Hugs
I will add, if it's a case of rape, it is understandable why some woman wouldn't want to be reminded of that pregnancy. But the child/adult still needs to know, once the facts come out, in order to understand. I have a family member this happened to.
I don't get why they disowned you. None of this was your fault. Your mother should be sorry.
The issue seems to be the story of Heather's parentage has been made public over social media and become known internationally. The parents appear to feel the releasing of the facts of the story as a very public humiliation -- and Nicole references this same feeling in her last message to Alyssa. The parents asked for the story to stay within the family/those affected, but this was refused. You could argue this was very disrespectful to the parents - it clearly crossed a red line for them. We do need to be careful about what we put online and accept the consequences.
@@judithpride1690 Yes those are my thoughts as well. We only know one side of the story. I remember when this became public, it was Alex who announced this to the world without thinking about the consequences. He did the same after meeting Nicole. Heather had not sorted things out with her parents before things got complicated and feelings were hurt on both sides. Alex also lost contact with an Aunt and Uncle who also didn’t want this private matter aired on the internet. It could have all been different if it had initially been kept private, all concerned actually met up and sorted it out before going public.
@@lyndaf.6329in this day and age, what really matters is you’re family! Please I found out in 1966 my older sister(10 years older) was a half sister by accident! There’s 6 of us, me being the youngest, we’re still family, my sister around 30 years ago found her real father! No on disowned any one…please
@@judithpride1690Way to victim blame.
@@judithpride1690There is nothing to be ashamed of in this situation except for a mother that would disown her own child for something she, herself, did years ago. Heather was an innocent child. Heather’s mom is definitely at fault for allowing this huge divide. As a mother…I can’t fathom it. It’s absolutely ridiculous and heartbreaking. The shame wasn’t in the original moment but rather in her response to the truth. She has time to make it right…that’s the good news.
I’m dumb founded the fact your parents are blaming you because you found out? That’s crazy they should be begging your forgiveness! I’m praying for you! Besides your daughter is wise and definitely has a heart.
Hugs🤗
I know not good you are struggling too. I am too. I hope u a find peace. I want that too
I hope you find peace as well ❤
Something I struggled to accept was this:
Some women have broken maternal instincts.
They and their choices are inexplicable to those of us with a strong instinct.
A harder lesson to learn is this:
And some PEOPLE have *very* dysfunctional mental or emotional reactions to real life. And will cut off and/or blame others.
That second group inevitably includes family or friends. People you either had not realized cannot handle normal situations, or you excused past behavior as isolated.
You can't fix either group.
And you can't stop the fallout either- we can only accept their choices AND just gracefully step back. Any better step is now on them.
Your parents have no self awareness as to how this all affects you and that they may be wrong with how they are no treating you. My mother is much the same. She can be mean and demanding but always puts the blame on others. This is what has happened to you. I have not spock to my mother in 7 weeks now. I have reached out three times and get no reply. I did everything for my 90 year old mother. As hurtful this is for you and your daughter you must live you life as best you can. You can reach out to your parents but you may not get the reply you want or perhaps things will change in a positive way. My mother is a narcissist and thinks she is always right.. this is where the " having no self awareness comes in" Like myself you are banished for doing something loving for your father. By doing that a secret was unveiled making you the bad guy. Blessings to you both. Stay strong and make new memories as you heal from this. I think if my mother really loved me she would want me in her life. I'm 73 she had me at 16. I'm the oldest of 6. My father passed away five years ago. It's so selfish of your parents to banish you as you are struggling with health problems. One or both of your parents may be narcissist's. Look it up it may explain a great deal. I would love to have the tow of you in my life.
I'm sorry guys for all of this😢
Shame on your father and mother for allowing this situation 😪
I'm so happy you have your daughter 💝
The DNA tests has only
Spoken truths...
I lost my intire family 6 brothers
And 2 sisters due to lies
Apone lies and money...
I took the DNA test just for fun"
But WHAT a time bomb 💣
When I got back my results
I was like um nooo
So I took another test
It came back the exact same
Results.
I won't get into the
Drama but my son lost his uncles and aunties
Cousins..
I’m trying to figure out how this came up in my feed???🤨
I think UA-cam just likes to surprise us with things we’d never expect! 😉
Did you tell your mother privately about the dna test or did you give the info to mom and dad together? I think I’d have told my mother privately at first….
You and your mom have done nothing wrong. It's sad that your moms' parents are basically blaming your mom for the fact that your mom found out who her real dad is. And the fact that they have ended any relationship with you all makes me think you are better off. As for your half sister. Screw her.
I think you need to look behind the side of the story that they are not sharing. There were obvious problems in this family before the DNA business. Such throw away comments as „ I never really had a close relationship with my grandparents so I don’t miss them“ or „ when me and Dorian would split up he would ask about Nicole“ etc lead me to think that the parents are upset about their dirty laundry being washed in public instead of being discussed privately. In all the videos that they have been posted over the years I’ve never had the impression that there was ever a family face to face meeting, everything was done by text or phone. As for Nicole, it seems that she had an insecure start to life with a mother who, because of her young age, made many mistakes that were not sorted out later. I feel for Heather but I do think that she needs to face up to the truth and stop putting all the blame on her parents and take responsibility for her own actions over the years. It's so sad that her parents have decided to cut her out of their lives but maybe this was the final straw that broke the camels back. Who knows , I doubt that we will ever get both sides of the story.
I'm pretty sure in past Videos it was implied by Alex that Heather talked to her parents about it in person. Before any videos were ever posted.
I’m not even going to entertain most of what you typed out, I’m just going to say- impressions of people’s lives formed simply from watching UA-cam videos will never be accurate. We summed up 5 years worth of trauma in 47 minutes, so obviously we didn’t get to share every conversation or every small detail.
@@AlyssaHalasehI'm a little confused and maybe I read it wrong but the description says this video was taped in August you just couldn't release it but then when you were talking you said you were filming vlogmas are you talking about the Christmas before you just happened to be talking about it in August cuz you said you were filming vlogmas video. I apologize maybe I heard something wrong
😊
There is trauma that happens that sometimes you cannot get over. I am not trivializing how you feel, only trying to explain why your parents may feel as they do.
Even though now there isn't a stigma about having a child and not being married, back in the 60s and 70s, there was. And it varied depending on where you lived. If you lived in a very conservative state, you got no help from the government if you were under 18.
Now I will tell you my story . In 1972, at age 16, I had a baby. I grew up in a very conservative state, with equally conservative parents. I was forced to give the baby up for adoption because of the shame I had brought to the family. I was sent away to a " home for unwed mothers" and was not allowed to come back into my parents home until it was over. I can't tell you how many times I considered unaliving myself, but I didn't have friends, anyone to talk to, so I couldn't figure out how to do it. I know it sounds strange in this day and age, but that's the way it was. I was told everything was sealed, records were sealed and nobody woukd know. To go on with my life. So I did. I married, had other children, etc. I never told my children about that other child.
A few years ago, that child, now a grown man, of course, contacted me. He had found the information. I cannot bring myself to meet him simply because it brings back the trauma of that time in my life.
Please try to understand that perhaps your parents experienced trauma and it has come to the surface.
Nobody is saying that it's your fault, it isn't, but I imagine that it's very hard for them. Something that had been buried has resurfaced and now they feel like they have to deal with it again.
Thank you so much for sharing your perspective! ❤
Sorry that you were treated so poorly as a child. It still probably really hurts your biological son that you won't meet him.
@derrickfolkmanman I'm sure it does and I feel terrible about it but it just brings back so many things that I don't want to think about that I cant face it.
@knittingnana2939 I hope everyone involved finds love and healing.
I understand. Your mother has been exposed and feels deep shame. Your dad (not real one) is hell bent on protecting her and attacking you as he is full of rage. Your bio-dad and brother are more like you - kind and forgiving. There is a lot in the blood that shapes us.
She doesn't want her communications with you on a vlog or a podcast. Her only way to have that is to stop her communications with you. To leave it at that seems the only thing you can do.
It is crazy to me how someone can pick there spouse over there own child.
Sounds like your sister has always been jealous of her baby sister
So let me understand, your mom finds out a secret by accident, now they are mad at her for their lies! That makes me so angry for both of you.
Unfortunately, It’s so common for boomers to react the way Heather’s parents did.
Odds are 50/50 they are older than Boomers...
So your mom cheated and lied all these years and you’re the bad guy in all this? Because you found out she lied?
I have some sympathy for your mother but her involving you or you orchestrating what goes on with her and her parents is wrong on every level...
You sound controlling, Glenda.