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Half in the Bag Episode 53: Star Trek Into Darkness
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- Опубліковано 26 тра 2013
- Wanna hear Mike, Jay, and Rich Evans talk about Star Trek Into Darkness for 45 minutes? WARNING: 90% of this episode is spoilers. So if you haven't seen the movie yet and want to avoid spoilers, maybe skip this one. And if you haven't seen the movie yet and don't care about spoilers, there's a lot of stuff mentioned in this episode that won't make a lot of sense to you until you've seen the movie.
"bigger borg cube" fast forward to Star Trek: Picard
Rich truly has a gift
it's actually kinda scary.
911 was an inside job!
@@dissident_media it was, though
@@92brunod preserve the truth
@@92brunod i know, right, the hijackers were inside airplanes!
I love how mike handles Star Trek reviews and criticisms like he’s star treks Dad. He acknowledges the problems, but he’s still Star treks Dad.
And now he’s a grieving father
@@MorganFreemansFavoriteFreckle His son hanged himself in the bathroom of a gas station
@@MorganFreemansFavoriteFreckle 😂
I cannot believe I’m like 9 to 10 years late to this party. I fucking love mike, jay, and rich. I’m new here guys. I’m so happy to be here. Best UA-cam channel I’ve ever found.
Mr Plinkett reviews the prequel trilogy of star wars introduced me many years ago.
Wait till you meet Betty and Linda.
Same here buddy! You now have many hours of entertainment awaiting!
You've got hundreds of hours of moopie review fun!
Beware of wearing headphones. Rich Evans will ruin your hearing.
The ancient days when Mike and Jay committed to the VCR repairmen gag
You mean the plot?
Gag?
@@frankfinley1642 The gag is that Jay and Mike actually think a soldering iron sparkles....what a fraud hacks!
I'm so glad they don't any longer, because that whole "bit" was really, really shit. I much prefer to just watch them talking about movies. In these old ones I'm just waiting for the tedious, unfunny buffoonery to end so the part people actually watch them for can begin.
@@foxyshabazz Fully and totally disagree. Also they still do bits and gags before the movie reviews anyway.
Jay looks like a mid 90's Chechen war refugee child.
Read the comment out loud thinking well that’s just dumb, looked up and went: “oh shit I see it now”
Before he became handsome Jay, he was once Amish Jay.
Jay grow your beard back
He is a great example of what a beard and a good haircut can do for a guy.
He looks like a werewolf in mid transformation.
"Who are you?"
Rich Evans: "I don't know."
This is the real philosophical discussion I expect from RLM.
Pavement Rich does not think, therefore, he is not
"Who am I?!"
"What am I?!"
*Cue Mike flinging Rich out of the hex with witch powers*
XD
"He's 89 years old, what he he need cash for? A Bigger head stone."
Well now I am just sad...
Cynicism, my dear... Good thing he had those two bags of cash
+Kissera I don't think anyone is complaining...
+Kissera I'd be sad Leonard nimoy's dead because he's Leonard fucking nimoy ... I'd be sad these people are dead because they're icons in the star trek universe .. ni one gives a shit about making these guys look bad because they do it for us which is so great about them lol ! and that they're pretty likeable. ... what I'm trying to say is : stop worrying so much about people insulting your gods mike and jay
Shut the fuck up bitch.
sometimes people actually care about people.... sometimes they dont need someone to give them stuff or to make them feel good about themselves to actually care about them
sometimes people even have a sense of humor and friendship even brotherhood
With regards to the Enterprise hiding underwater at the start of the film I'd like to quote the professor from Futurama when asked about how many atmospheres the ship can take when its underwater; "Well its a spaceship, so I'd say anywhere from zero to one!"
*timeless*
My favourite line "Well it's designed to withstand the rigours of space!"
- My name is... Khan.
- Oh hello! I'm Kirk, this is Spock and that's Bones!
To be fair Khan in the star trek universe is like Introducing oneself with "my name... is *insert Austrian Painter"
Ye I am 9 years late lmfao
it's very weird seeing the gang before all of their spirits were shattered by the star wars sequels
It added a good 15lbs each on camera
Walking out of the theatre after seeing Rise of Skywalker is a depressing feeling like no other
@@BigBrosFilms i remenber being happy because i went into it ready for the disaster and just laughed along with it with my peeps xD
"Who invaded Spain in the 8th century?" A: The Moopies
I refuse to let this new comment on a 6-year-old video go unnoticed
Rich Evans could be the bubble boy as an adult
This is the greatest comment of all time
@@DisobedientSpaceWhale Sorry, the card says Moops! 😅
Underrated comment
"What does he need, a bigger headstone?"
oh
Sigh I am really going to miss him.
willfreedo Too early, I guess...
Jack Park this video was made 2 years ago, pls
Hulk Banner These are my favorite reviewers because they say "fuck" and "poop" and "this shit sucks". I haven't seen a Star Trek film or an Avengers film. I thought Guardians of the Galaxy and Kingsman would be good and saw those but they sucked ass too.
Jack Park It's not seeing the future to assume old people will die soon.
Mike: JJ Abrams can make a movie.
Correction: JJ Abrams makes the same movie over and over.
People didn't know jj Abrams was a hack fraud yet
That's what he meant by *A* movie ;)
Diet Spielberg
@@SirJamesthePaul *Spielberg_copy
@@verwirklichbar That's giving him too much credit.
That Marvel de-aging tech is working great! The RLM boys have never looked younger!
They look like babies looking back now
They fucked up with Jay tho
Dude looks melted
"He's Khan in name only."
That could pretty much be said about the entire movie.
What? How does that make sense?
@@Yusukekekeke I assume he means its "Star Trek in name only."
Jonathan Pollmann it means the Kahn in this movie doesn't have the same true character and aspects as the original in the series and movie
Wish they had remade star trek 4 and spock punched a whale.
Wish they had remade star trek 5 and spock punched god
All the new crap trek is making us prone to physicality.
At least we can always enjoy Spock mentally violating Valeris in Star Trek 6.
"Movies" are now "moopies" to me. Now and forevermore.
Daniel Williams Till this day.
Same for me, man. Ever since I read your comment channeling the never ending wisdom of Rich "Fire Safety" Evans. My girlfriend and I even correct each other when we say "movie" and immediately switch to "moopie".
Stony, makers of fine moopies
That surprised laugh from Mike when Jay says "Cabbagepatch" will forever cause me to roll on the floor in tears.
To be fair, Original series Khan was able to force open one of the Enterprise's doors by wedging his hands into the gap. So he had superhuman strength, he was also durable, with all of those hits he took from Kirk.
"Do something different. Stop doing fan service, stop borrowing ideas, stop borrowing the exact same story line. Put your own little twists on it, whatever, but we need a new story.". Mike basically summing up my opinion on everything JJ does.
Sounds like TFA as well!
@@Xiphactinus Yeah who directed TFA...right JJ abram’s hence the comment
come on.
JJ is way better with TV series to be honest.
@@mckenzie.latham91 hehe
@@mckenzie.latham91 JJ is generally better in the role of producer. Though I can't say I've been a fan of his TV work either.
Cold fusion. Because cold. Still gets me every time.
The cold fusion line was the moment I realized this movie was going to be utter dogshit.
but...it’s cold
@@monsieurcondottiero2685 Best pop some gloves on , then.
Yeah isn’t cold fusion called cold fusion because it doesn’t need energy input (ie it can be done “cold”). It has nothing to do with turning things cold
@@frankmerker630 shhh....this sci fi is for the unbrained people. Put down your brain, enjoy the pew! Pew! And lense flares.
33:13 Mike's laugh
opsimathics I fucking love Mike.
opsimathics and Jays genuine shock at how hard Mike laughed. They all thought he was just an emotionless drunk.
Yup...it is 2017 and I was watching some RLM past stuff (BoTW, HiTB) and almost forgot what review Mike's Guffaw From Hell was in...Jay's reaction is great too, then "wavy hands" Jay.
we need a compilation of mikes laugh.
Thank you
The irony is that though Star Trek: ID is the "fast and furious" Star Trek, Justin Lin actually directed Star Trek: Beyond, which is the least schlocky of the new Star Trek: anything
Crazy mindless action .
And it was also about Bones, as Jay requested/predicted
I thought Beyond was pretty good. I enjoy the Justin Lin F&F movies the best. I honestly enjoy all the F&F movies to an extent. Ridiculous dumb action fun.
@@makeitthrough_ Agreed. That one didn't make much sense.
@@adamstrachnsometimes, the academy feels the need to acknowledge certain genres and media it barely understands.
That's how "The Boss Baby" got an Oscar nomination.
The Borg aren't going to have a cube, that would be too simple; too pedestrian.
The Borg will have a dodecahedron.
_well..._
and it rolls a natural 12 every time
My God, whats his name on the left's deadpan way of summarizing the plot is just brilliant.
"So Khan builds the ship and then Star Fleet says, 'Go away now, Khan."
His name is Jack, called "Wizard".
John Beaird No, John is Buzzard and Jack is Wizard. Jack was the deadpan.
Mike Stoklasa?
... Neither Josh nor Jack are in this video.
Well, I guess Leonard Nimoy got his bigger headstone. RIP.
Holy shit a full on Mike laugh!!!!!!
No no go to the Haunted House Hitb, around 32 minutes. It's great
try Batman v Robin commentary also, he *really* goes off the rails there :D
yes! the way Rich said ''..and..Bill Finger died penniless'' sounded like a punchline, kills me every time :D
''1 bat-girl, 2 cups'' moment was also hilarious
time stamp?
Is there a compilation everytime Mike breaks?
"Star Trek: The Fast and the Furious"
Star Trek Beyond is being done by the writer of The Fast and the Furious.
It's like poetry, it rhymes.
+evrbody It's so dense; every single frame has so many things going on.
And it turned out to be a good film.... who would have guessed that shit.
lol
Star Trek Beyond ended up being a much better flick than Star Trek Into Darkness.
Weird.
EwanMakeMovies not more fun tho
Oh my god...the part where they joke about predictions on Star Trek 3 "it'll be a planet sized borg cube that assimilates suns...." And now in 2015 we have Star Wars.
It's like poetry.
Rick Berman McCallum it rhymes :D
The new Picard trailer has exactly that. It's getting ridiculous but at the same time, I want to see how big it will get.
JJ is predictable
To be fair Star Wars EU already had much stupider weapons (look up the Suncrusher, Eclipse class Star Destroyer and Galaxy Gun), Starkiller was just the first time we saw something like that in a movie.
8:09 Historic RLM moment, the beginning of Mike and Rich tormenting Jay with endless Star Trek trivia
Rich: "They know people will say 'It says Star Trek, here's my money.'"
Mike: It says Star Trek, here's my money.
"there is so much in this movie, it's overwhelming"
6 years later... let me tell you about a movie called "rise of skywalker" ...
both screenwriters for these movies are 9/11 truthers. I only just found that out and NOW Rich's breakdown at the end makes sense lol. That's basically what every movie by those guys is.
Their twitter accounts. I'm absolutely serious, they've ranted about how Obama faked his birth certificate too. Google it.
what. thats...my point...i wasn't saying this, they were.
@@marythornton902 wtf I love Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman now!
They can uncover a conspiracy revolving around America's favorite holiday but they can't write a decent Star Trek movie...ok
Mary Thornton so what you’re saying is that Rem Lezar wrote Star Trek Into Darkness. Huh.
From where I stand in 2022, this fun little video from 2014 is like a strange and beautiful time capsual of a bygone era that I never truly appreciated.
I had to come back and watch it in 2023. I remember seeing this movie in theaters and seeing this review like a year later lol. Time flies
I'm here in 2020 after seeing 'Rise of Skywalker' , and you know what, boys?
Turns out that J.J. Abrams *is* the problem.
I hated him in 2009 and I derive no satisfaction from being vindicated.
Augustus Sinclair he’s the new Rick Berman
its d0nk d0nkatron what is it with Ricks?
@@kaiserruhsam I hated him since 2003 because I was an avid Alias fan and the finale felt like any creativity and care for the show disappeared. IMO he's a vicitim of his own success (though he probably has so much bank he never has to worry). The more popular anything he was attached to became, the more offers he got and the ship began to tilt.
It’s so frustrating. He’s so technically skilled, can helm action sequences, and cast the shit out of any movie, but goodness, he cannot tell a compelling story. I did Force Awakens and The Last Jedi back to back the other day and the difference in how they tell their stories was JARRING. Force Awakens is so rushed and shoves so much “delight” down your throat that it got exhausting.
The evil of Khan is established in the original episode "Space Seed" where he will do anything to také over the ship in order to rule the world/galaxy. That that does not happen in this timeline, which is why I do not see any basis for the rivalry between Kirk/Spock and Khan. Just an unconvincing story.
I'll credit Into Darkness for one thing.
It does an excellent job of making me intimately understand original Khan's character.
Because whenever someone tells me they think the movie is good, I think "Ah, yes. I am the superior being."
T🌹🌹
You are very cool!
No, you're just whiny ass nerd.
Only through the elimination of violence can we achieve world peace
"And how are we going to do that?"
"Through the application of extreme, indiscriminate violence."
Can't believe I've been missing out on this and only discovering these guys a few days ago.
How does mega-star Rich Evans just walk in and they don’t realize who it is?!!
I love how Jay perfectly encapsulated the audience's reaction at 33:15
I just came here for Mike's laugh at 33:12
It's pretty glorious right? Mikes feel good inc laugh is the rarest rlm gem.
Did you clean everything up?
"I'm not sure if I like Quinto as Spock yet. He always seems mean or angry. He does the non-emotion thing as some sort of mean anger?"
"More of like an angst, maybe?"
This is one of the things I really hate about modern Trek, they gradually turned Vulcans into an asshole race even though that's absolutely not how they started out. Especially ENT is guilty of this. OG Spock is actually one of the nicest people in the universe.
Also Benedict Cumberbatch being the replacement for Ricardo Montalban is the most hilarious thing in the world to me
Or Sarek(basically a flawed but well meaning father figure), Lt. Saavik, Dr. Selar, etc. I do get what Enterprise was trying to do, but I think they did kind of missed the point at times. Captain Solok from DS9's fun baseball episode was kind of a prick, but that was just a feel good episode so it adds to the comedy.
I dunno if ENT really counts as "modern Trek". Was kind of the last Trek thing before Abrams revived the franchise. But yeah, you right.
American screenwriters think screaming hysteria is moral and composure is immoral. Its also why they think a "character moment" means "breaking down and crying". They're not even choosing this, or dumbing down to reach a different audience intentionally, they just really are that stupid
"OG Spock is actually one of the nicest people in the universe." Well, except for when he teased Janice Rand about her rape.
Fun drinking game: Take a shot every time someone in this review says: "To be fair". At the end, ask yourself if this movie is worth being fair to.
Rich Evans is very insightful. I'm glad he's being included in a lot more videos with you guys.
A national treasure
It occurred to me that I've seen Into Darkness like 3 times, and their recap was foreign to me. I remembered things as they mentioned them, as though it was my first time watching it. On the other hand, I've seen Iron Man 3 once when it came out, and I can remember it vividly. I remember each act, what happened, and why, and even a handful of the little twists.
It might be because Iron Man 3 is about a superhero having a breakdown and then trying to recover and save the day, while Into Darkness is a bunch of light and sound of no particular meaning or substance.
Why in god's name would you watch Star Trek Into Darkness three times? Were the last two times while someone had you tied up and was trying to torture you? There's no way you would watch this awful, awful movie more than once voluntarily.
@@BiggieTrismegistus I honest to goodness have no idea. I think I ate paint as a kid and gave myself brain damage or something. I've also seen Iron Man 2 more than probably any other Marvel movie.
I need help.
Star Trek: Going Through The Motions Picture.
33:14 There's that sound, ladies and gentleman - the Apocalypse is upon us.
That's the main reason i keep coming back to watch this video... eargasmic
I want - no, I NEED a 10 hours loop of it
@@monsieurcondottiero2685 please no
Yes...Mike's "Laugh Into Darkness" is still in this review. I can sleep soundly now knowing this almost 6 years later.
"Humberto Cabbagepatch"
Tom you're my soul-sister
my panda to my tare
love ya :~)
Never knew until watching way back on these videos that RLM or Jay and Mike are masters of comedy.
Moopies. I still remember this at various times in the week and giggle to myself.
They're gonna have a borg rubix cube that has 9 cubes and they rotate to generate black holes.
33:12
jay uses "pun"
"pun" was supper effective
mike retaliates with "insane boisterous laughter"
This whole review anticipated The Rise of Skywalker
Jar Jar Abrams and Bad Reboot always do the same flaccid gimmick. It is pitiful that people still expect something else.
I HAVE FORESEEN IT
--- Me after hearing they were bringing back Palpatine.
This is easily my favorite episode Half in the Bag. The casual and monotone way they break down every single plot hole makes me laugh to the point where I cannot breathe.
Wavy Hands Jay...
Rich loves MOOPIES...
Mike's guffaw...(Jay's reaction)
Wavy Hands Jay...
Classic RLM!
8:41 I always love hearing about the moopies.
Why does Rich have one sleeve up and one sleeve down?
I suspect magic blood
To keep the moopies flowing!
We need more moopies that are a bresh of freth air.
A bresh of freir ath.
Mike: "Isn't Lenoard Nimoy like 89? What, does he need a BIGGER headstone?"
2015: RIP Spock.
😥😥😥
problem with this film is that it is trying to be too clever with twisty-wisty plots that quickly unravel when you think about them for one second. Khan and the admiral's plots make little sense in relationship to each other.
Khan thinking his people dead sets up a bombing which he could have done himself which for something reason causes the top Star Fleet officers to gather setting themselves for an ambush by a type of ship we have never seen in Star Trek before. That was his ultimate goal of his genius plan? Just start shooting up the place outside a window? No photon torpedo or another bomb?
Then the Admiral launches his start-a-war-with-the-klingons plan with the Enterprise as the sacrificial lamb. What was his plan if Khan hadn't attacked and conveniently teleported to Kronos? And why order 72 special photon torpedoes to hit one guy? That should have made Kirk&crew raise a Vulcan eyebrow.
What was Khan's plan in going to Kronos? Was he planning to seek political asylum? Just going there to avoid Star Fleet? Why did he bother to save Kirk&crew from the klingons if he didn't know his people were still alive?
Overall I think the film would have been better without Khan
I agree. There where other super humans than khan, they could have had used other superhuman thus avoiding cotradictions and having a chance to do something original. but we know why it was khan. it was for the dosh.
Yeah. but The original movie series still holds up. I just wish they try harder on the story.
Robot HandLove I found myself rooting for the script, hoping it would get better.
My big problem was one I had with The Hobbit movies, I liked the villain more.
Kirk was too much of a jock and Spock was too robotic, except for when he wasn't.
Khan was more relatable, he had to work for what he got and had gone through some genuine struggle, unlike the extremely lucky and smug Kirk. He was also more intelligent until the script said that he wasn't.
Then kung fu master, physically superior Khan is beaten up by Spock, a nerdy vulcan who is an officer on a starship, in other words, someone who isn't often in fist fights.
The lazy script writing makes it seem like Khan is fighting destiny, his destiny to lose in the script, all the while getting bullied by the script's chosen one: Kirk.
Well said.
This movie is a mess, but as far as Spock fighting Khan, it’s somewhat believable based on the fact that Vulcans are physically superior to humans. And Spock was still losing the fight until Uhura showed up and kept blasting Khan with the phaser.
ah yes, the dark days of chinstrap-beard jay
Abrams blows up other franchises because he can’t get one of his to catch on.
This comment aged extremely well after The Rise of Skywalker.
Didn’t he also create Lost, Person of Interest, and etc.
@@mckenzie.latham91 lol how did lost turn out
I´m here 8 years later and I love it
8 Year to make!
I think there was another reason for this franchise reboot. I'm 23, so I missed most Trek when it was first broadcast. I'm a Doctor Who fan and I love Sci-Fi, but I hadn't ever seen Star Trek. So, I watched 2009, then Into Darkness. Suddenly, I found myself sparked up with intrigue into this universe, then suddenly I found myself with the Enterprise box set, the Original Series box set, the Original Movies, Next Gen box set and DS9 box set (eventually, I'm sure that I'll have Voyager) and "Oh, whoops, I've done exactly what they wanted me to.". Damn it.
I live in the UK, from about 1999 to now, there hasn't ever been any Trek on TV. So when Who came back on, it was a big deal!
Mike's reaction to Benedict Cabbagepatch is the best non-Rich Evans laugh ever.
The moopies
36:34 - "They're gonna be assimilating the sun."
You, guys, predicted so many things in this video, it's making me really curious if JarJar Abrams is watching your videos.
Star Trek is about family. And that's what's so powerful about it.
This is like the only episode where they ACTUALLY repair a vcr
Mike “Who are you?”
Rich “I don’t know.”
*Cue Mike flinging Rich out of the VCR repair shop hex with witch powers*
Star Trek: Into Darkness - It's THE "Star Trek: (Going Through) The Motion(s) Picture" everyone has been waiting for
Why does this Star Trek look so cold and dark? When it should be warm and bright. I hate what they have done to all my favorite things.
33:14 Mike watches a news report about a mass shooting.
The way these get reccomended and how the story works, it reminds me of piecing together a plot on syndicated TV show
JJ fooled everyone into blaming the writer yet all of his films have the same issue. Reliving his childhood one Khan! at a time.
They didn't end up working around the cure-all blood in the sequel, they just ignored it. I was shocked, SHOCKED!
rich please fix your sleeves
+Abbi Harrison The OCD is real.
@@cpmenninga his diabeetus medicine?
@@viscountrainbows6452 the good shit
This review almost perfectly describes Star Trek Discovery Season 2
Alex Kurtzman also wrote and works on discovery so, no wonder.
I once shouted "KAHN!!" in the middle of the Gobi Desert.
Can't believe this video is 10 years old
that laugh @ 33:14
33:14
Wasn't expecting Mike to laugh that loudly at that XD
of course scrolling through comments like a junkie at 2 am i find gmanlives here...
I love you
Seeing Rich getting nice and comfortable in the last 5 minutes saved me from ending it all.
"Star Trek: Fast and the Furious"
How did Jay keep a straight face?
Nicolas Meyer, director of Star Trek II and VI and co-writer of IV and VI, openly dislikes Into Darkness. He even criticizes it for copying The Wrath of Khan too much.
Anyone with a brain should openly dislike Into Darkness.
Mike's random (yet genuine) guffaw at Jay making fun of the Cumberbatch name (33:10) is one of the funniest things in the RLM canon. Jay's reaction is funny too.
"Star Trek: The Fast and the Furious" - that joke gave 'em ideas, lads. It's not so funny, anymore. XD
I am both exited and worried for Beyond
+The Real Dagoth Ur Me, too! I'll watch it regardless, but I really hope it's good.
Christie Greenwood I did enjoy the two JJ Abrams Star Trek films to some extent (though I understand why people hate Into Darkness). I don't think the new one looks bad, but there is a chance it will be.
I've come from the future. Beyond was pretty good, and repeated the "better at Star Wars than Star Wars" feat from the first movie.
It was far from perfect, but it was better then _this_ piece of shit. Spock didn't scream in anyone's face and then beat them senselessly.
And it turned out to be a good film.... who would have guessed that shit.
J.J Abrams' directing is really the epitome of All Style, No Substance.
No thats Snyder. JJ is average style, average substance
This is the Kelvin Krap universe.
The Star Trek we know and love has nothing to do with this.
this video melts steel beams
I like the jazz track playing in the background: classy.
It says “Rich Evans”... Here’s my money!
"Star Trek The Fast And The Furious", Did Mike just kinda predict Star Trek 3?
who here knows what 'building 7' is a reference to ? . . .
34:20 "The Danger of Khan Was His KHHHHAN-fidence"
I have watched and enjoyed the 2009 reboot and Into Darkness but even though I liked them there was something off that held them back I now realize it is the plot. Wrath of Khan is a freakin master piece it has all the Star Trek elements I love. It makes me think that a good Star Trek movie doesn't need to be boring because Wrath of Khan has good albeit cheesy action it simply needs to be brought down to a smaller scale and paired with a good script.
I'd totally watch a Dr McCoy movie. :)
The whole script is just senseless metaphors and Bones telling people what he isn't :P
holy shit I've never heard Mike laugh like that!! hahaha