Yeah it was super tough and is something we've all seen or experienced before. I'm confident the girl will find her space though she comes across so lovely so it's literally just a matter of time x
on dilemma 2: even as someone who doesn't post people and has fully forgotten some very close people's birthdays, i don't think "why do you care?" is a fair position to take when someone is bothered by this. it's a bit condescending like "go heal" vibes. we deffs see things differently, but we'll never even get to that point from "why do you care?" i can respect that it means a lot to them and just let them know my ability (or lack of i.e. forgetting) to accommodate those feelings.
Agree - it's a fair point from you. A more accurate way of expressing my initial point is "Why does it matter to you? What does being shared on stories mean to you?" Once we answer that then perhaps we can get o the root of the issue. 💗
Dilemma 5 - totally agree, keep doing you baby it will come when you least expect it and go out more (not for men) but it might also boost your confidence and distract you x
100% time is a healer. It's hard to internalise it when we are going through it but I'm a firm believer in the right thing will happen when it is meant to come and not letting our desires stop us from being grounded and present 💝
I like how you handled the desirability question. its a tough pill to swallow that racism/fatphobia etc affects the way we are percieved so much especially in the romantic sphere. and it can be really annoying and bordering on patronising to hear things to the tune of 'love yourself' or 'you dont need a man' because we know these things!! buts its also normal to want to feel loved and want companionship and just want to move yourself forward in that sense. in my mind the way I look at it is that you just have to be comfortable with the idea that not everyone will find romantic love, its not a given, and you can still live a full and fruitful life without it. Unfortunately the way we are socialised means that a lot of people are overlooked especially if you are a black woman and dont you dare be black and dark skin and fat either lmao. there are definitely exceptions to the rule but also it doesnt happen for everyone and we have to find a way to be okay with it, I think reading and looking at the wider reason helps. dashaun l Harrison wrote a great book that touches on desirability and fatness (and many other things) called belly of the beast that I really recommend
This is such a lovely and insightful perspective. Love the point that the desire to be loved is normal. That desire in itself is a form of self love because you are saying you deserve to experience that type of relationship. I'm gonna add the Harrison book to my wish list 🤎🌸
100%. I did really sympathise with the person and wanted to help their partner but I think 1 year is a lot of time. Especially if the labour dynamic does not feel "balanced".
The dilemma about not being posted on their friends story on their birthday, I would feel some kind of way too. Why are you outwardly/publicly showing appreciation for others but not me? I'd say maybe they're not as close with you as you may be with them but I would definitely feel a type of way and I don't necessarily think she needs to do "reflecting" it would rub me the wrong way too.
That's such a good point. Reciprocity in friendships is such a tough thing to consider but it could really be that and, as you say, reflecting on whether the friend holds the friendship to the same regard ❤️
Hey Mikai, I love the video concept! Also the background, editing, and your top - fire!
Thank you so much!!
I love how level-headed you are!
Thanks - I've been working on keeping my emotions in relatively stable so my emotions don't cloud my judgement or advice to friends
I love how evenly you read and talk, with informing us about your makeup choices and application
What a good dilemma episode! You speak so eloquently- it's refreshing
Thanks! Happy you enjoyed this episode. Really wanted to mix it up from our usual ccgrwm.
dilemma 5 was a tough one whew, but you answered that really well 💗
Yeah it was super tough and is something we've all seen or experienced before. I'm confident the girl will find her space though she comes across so lovely so it's literally just a matter of time x
Yes to doing it monthly! As your friend I can say this is defo your reallllll advice. Loved it 🫶🏾
Haha you know! This s literally what I would say!!!
Noted on doing this regularly! 💗
i have been loving your content recently, didn’t realise how much i missed YT Mikai! 😭💓
this would be a great monthly series, keep them coming
Welcome back! Yay thank you! I'll see how this episode does and decide whether it's monthly or just as and when it feels right 🫶
More of these please ❤
I literally love that the dilemmas are different, amazing watch xx
Happy it was a good watch - thanks so much babe x
on dilemma 2: even as someone who doesn't post people and has fully forgotten some very close people's birthdays, i don't think "why do you care?" is a fair position to take when someone is bothered by this. it's a bit condescending like "go heal" vibes. we deffs see things differently, but we'll never even get to that point from "why do you care?" i can respect that it means a lot to them and just let them know my ability (or lack of i.e. forgetting) to accommodate those feelings.
Agree - it's a fair point from you. A more accurate way of expressing my initial point is "Why does it matter to you? What does being shared on stories mean to you?" Once we answer that then perhaps we can get o the root of the issue. 💗
@@MikaiMcDermott oh fairs, that’s a well-intentioned approach 💗
I like this !! Diffrent dilemmas and you got great advice .. I would love a part two or maybe a series 👏🏾✨
Thank you! Will defo think about how I can do this again x
I’m so glad I came across your UA-cam channel Mikai!
I loved this video, I definitely hope you keep making more 😊 hope you have a good day!!
Hey boo - so glad you enjoyed and welcomeeee ❤️
Hope you have a good day too x
Really enjoyed this
You give the best advice, yes to making it monthly 👏🏽
Yay! Thank you! Will see how others engage before committing to a proper monthly series! x
great vid. good quality also. more of these!
Thanks babe - happy people also enjoy this format x
You're pretty and smart. I'll be sticking around. Can't wait to hear and see more of you. ✨️
Thanks babe. So glad you are here with us! 💗
Mikai, your vibe never fails! Pls what camera & lens is this !?
Thanks so much babe. Really not sure what the set up is, it's my bf's and i got him to set it up for me 😂💗
Dilemma 5 - totally agree, keep doing you baby it will come when you least expect it and go out more (not for men) but it might also boost your confidence and distract you x
100% time is a healer. It's hard to internalise it when we are going through it but I'm a firm believer in the right thing will happen when it is meant to come and not letting our desires stop us from being grounded and present 💝
loved this🤓
Thanks! That's amazing. I did try to make this as impactful as possible.
Love the video👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Thankssss x
this video is so stunning
please what camera was used to film this
Oo loved this vibe!
Yay! Thanks babe x
I like how you handled the desirability question. its a tough pill to swallow that racism/fatphobia etc affects the way we are percieved so much especially in the romantic sphere. and it can be really annoying and bordering on patronising to hear things to the tune of 'love yourself' or 'you dont need a man' because we know these things!! buts its also normal to want to feel loved and want companionship and just want to move yourself forward in that sense. in my mind the way I look at it is that you just have to be comfortable with the idea that not everyone will find romantic love, its not a given, and you can still live a full and fruitful life without it. Unfortunately the way we are socialised means that a lot of people are overlooked especially if you are a black woman and dont you dare be black and dark skin and fat either lmao. there are definitely exceptions to the rule but also it doesnt happen for everyone and we have to find a way to be okay with it, I think reading and looking at the wider reason helps. dashaun l Harrison wrote a great book that touches on desirability and fatness (and many other things) called belly of the beast that I really recommend
This is such a lovely and insightful perspective. Love the point that the desire to be loved is normal. That desire in itself is a form of self love because you are saying you deserve to experience that type of relationship.
I'm gonna add the Harrison book to my wish list 🤎🌸
Agree, the boyfriend at 14:15 is giving major red flags!
P.s. I love this chit chat style!
100% Glad you enjoyed!
Love this set up
Thanks! x
love ur content! couldn't stop staring at this mesh top, where is it from?
Thanks babe! The top is from JPG. I think it sold out in retailers but you may be able to find it on Depop/Vinted x
@@MikaiMcDermott Thanku babes❤️☺️🙏🏽
Love constent Mikai !!
💗💗
14:41 needs to go listen to K Michelle Can't raise a man, cos girl no. You did not birth this man to be taken on all this burden 😭
100%. I did really sympathise with the person and wanted to help their partner but I think 1 year is a lot of time. Especially if the labour dynamic does not feel "balanced".
The consistency ❤
Will try my best to keep it up 😂❤️
Fine babe ❤
you're gonna make me blush x 😘
I think as woman we need to genuinely stop giving men our time if they genuinely arent meant for us
10000% Defo invest into your relationship but it's good to know when it's time to call it quits x
The dilemma about not being posted on their friends story on their birthday, I would feel some kind of way too. Why are you outwardly/publicly showing appreciation for others but not me? I'd say maybe they're not as close with you as you may be with them but I would definitely feel a type of way and I don't necessarily think she needs to do "reflecting" it would rub me the wrong way too.
That's such a good point. Reciprocity in friendships is such a tough thing to consider but it could really be that and, as you say, reflecting on whether the friend holds the friendship to the same regard ❤️
Being stuck between two people? You don't like them
Yeah that's my opinion too. I think it's something we all something we have to experience once to fully understand it 💗