I really appreciate your vulnerability this episode. It's especially refreshing to hear two awesome guys discussing a silent struggle that impacts everyone at some point.
Wow thanks you for talking about it! I thought Im the only one. I have felt incredibly lonely and sad on some milongas....despite having good tandas. It felt like there was nothing beyond the connection for the purpose of dancing. Very superficial. I also felt unseen, unheard, isolated, disconnected....like no one knows me and no one gives a shit. 😢
Great job guys. I love your wide range of topics and that you don't shy away from deep or controversial topics. The feeling of being alone in this world is a part of the human condition, which we seek to remedy through tango, sex, companionship, or spirituality, among other things. One will lose the sense of loneliness when they can transcend the ego, to let go of the "I" and "me" Can this happen while dancing tango? Definitely! While playing sports in the "zone"? Yes! While sitting in a room all by yourself in meditation? Of course! Although most everyone at times feels lonely, we are never really alone... Self doubt rears it's ugly head when the opposite rages and the ego dominates. Do they really like dancing with me? Do I really suck? Ultimately we should live more in the moment. Share a tanda, feel fully, let go of thoughts, be one with another, and don't block up the navigation 😂 PS I agree with Derek 100% on trying to dance with those who really like to dance with me, although this often times involves some guess work.
For many people, myself included, tango is a secret life. I do not post pictures or videos in social media of myself dancing, in a milonga or anything related to tango. Whatever the reason may be, maybe you don't want to let your church friends know about your new hobby, maybe your parents won't understand it, maybe your ex might come looking you, maybe you don't think you are good enough, etc. But if someone ask, I do tell. But so it's almost as if I was living a double life. During the day I am Mr. Anderson, a respectable programmer with an office job, but at night I am Mr. Valentino, master of the gentle embrace. So yeah, it's a lonely life, but a self imposed one.
@@marvinjlee59 Cypher is that guy that don't follow the codes of tango, harass the pretty girls, attempt to deviate sincere students from going to classes, gossips a lot, spreading discord in the community.
@@treehugger3615 Actually, Cypher is the one who has mixed feelings about which codes to follow. The life from his other self to the one thats seeking wishful promises through tango.
This is the most interesting episode, so far, and I can sympathize. However, I think you guys need to watch the movie Clueless. Most everyone I know have deep feelings, but none of that is visible on the surface level. People continue to chase the obvious, status, fame, money, or just plain attention, all things that are constantly fleeting. As of result, you'll miss out on what truly feeds you. The beauty of tango is that it magnifies desires and unfulfilled desires.
It's been said that tango is great for people who don't get enough rejection in real life! You said that you no longer know what's true or not. Argentine Tango is the illusion of the stage (or dancefloor) - cf Shakespeare : All the world's a stage... It's a world, but don't confuse that with real life, whatever that is for you, and try to take it back with you. The illusion can be wonderful, but only when you recognise that it is an illusion. Play the role with the connection of the abrazo - but leave it there.
Tango is entangled with many paradoxes. One of them is to feel lonely in a crowd of people whom you acquainted with. Who knows, perhaps, it is a good thing. The more sadness, longing you feel at the moment the warmer your embrace will be, the more connected you’ll be to another person during your dance. You’ll give more to another person because you want to receive the same. Why? Just to feel better… Tango is a dance of true feelings. It doesn’t tolerate well superficiality and pretension. Perhaps, tango even at the dawn of its existence, was already considered a very special dance with magical therapeutical qualities… and that’s why we keep coming back to tango…
I'm kinda late commenting on this one. I never feel lonely. I rarely feel sad or angry or much of anything painful, and only when sorely provoked, and even then it's shallow and fleeting. Consequently, I don't experience dramatic contrasts in emotional valence. What I feel while dancing--in embrace and movement--is euphoric flow. It is thoroughly wonderful. I feel eager anticipation before a long weekend of dancing, and then a warm delicious afterglow when it is done, with no tangover. In earlier years, I used to overthink what others might think of me and my dancing. I have steadily uprooted all of those concerns over the years by simply observing the thoughts and ceasing to fixate on them. I do and don't care about partner's experience: I care in that I pay attention to their level of comfort, enjoyment & satisfaction so that I can learn & improve. OTOH, if they don't dance with me, oh well, so what, not a big deal, I just chalk it up to an incompatibility between what I offer and what they want. I have been around long enough that I always have unshakable confidence that I will have many good dances whether I already know people or not. I like to think that even if I am totally shut-out at the most cliquish milonga, I will still have a wonderful time listening to music and witnessing great dancing. I don't wish that upon myself, but I'm emotionally prepared if it ever happens.
Dancing only with the people that you like to dance with is very limiting, particularly when you don’t take a chance with visitors or unfamiliar dancers when you travel for tango. This is precisely what creates these cliques that travel in groups for tango, sit in their designated corners and only dance with each other. Why to travel? 🤷♀️
To give some perspective: when I travel within the US I know usually about half of the crowd which is probably 100 or more people. Most of those people I only see when I travel. So while I enjoy dancing with new people sometimes it can be difficult because those people cabeceo me and I like dancing with them so I oblige. For the people that I don’t know they probably won’t be trying to cabeceo me so I have to make a deliberate effort to bypass those cabeceo me to try to cabeceo them and they might not even look my direction
You two are incredible! What a deep, insightful, honest conversation - thank you!
Loving the "behind the music' segments.
I really appreciate your vulnerability this episode. It's especially refreshing to hear two awesome guys discussing a silent struggle that impacts everyone at some point.
Wow thanks you for talking about it!
I thought Im the only one. I have felt incredibly lonely and sad on some milongas....despite having good tandas. It felt like there was nothing beyond the connection for the purpose of dancing. Very superficial.
I also felt unseen, unheard, isolated, disconnected....like no one knows me and no one gives a shit. 😢
Appreciate you sharing your experiences and know that you are not alone in these feelings and thoughts
Great job guys. I love your wide range of topics and that you don't shy away from deep or controversial topics. The feeling of being alone in this world is a part of the human condition, which we seek to remedy through tango, sex, companionship, or spirituality, among other things. One will lose the sense of loneliness when they can transcend the ego, to let go of the "I" and "me" Can this happen while dancing tango? Definitely! While playing sports in the "zone"? Yes! While sitting in a room all by yourself in meditation? Of course! Although most everyone at times feels lonely, we are never really alone... Self doubt rears it's ugly head when the opposite rages and the ego dominates. Do they really like dancing with me? Do I really suck? Ultimately we should live more in the moment. Share a tanda, feel fully, let go of thoughts, be one with another, and don't block up the navigation 😂 PS I agree with Derek 100% on trying to dance with those who really like to dance with me, although this often times involves some guess work.
For many people, myself included, tango is a secret life. I do not post pictures or videos in social media of myself dancing, in a milonga or anything related to tango. Whatever the reason may be, maybe you don't want to let your church friends know about your new hobby, maybe your parents won't understand it, maybe your ex might come looking you, maybe you don't think you are good enough, etc. But if someone ask, I do tell. But so it's almost as if I was living a double life. During the day I am Mr. Anderson, a respectable programmer with an office job, but at night I am Mr. Valentino, master of the gentle embrace. So yeah, it's a lonely life, but a self imposed one.
@@treehugger3615 I lived the double life myself too. But these days im trying really hard to not anymore.
I wish I could give that more upticks❤. Red pill or blue pill for your 'reality'? Personally I like to keep them separate and know both.
@@CW-om2qq I get your sentiment too. That makes you Cypher, remember how it played out for him. So fake!
@@marvinjlee59 Cypher is that guy that don't follow the codes of tango, harass the pretty girls, attempt to deviate sincere students from going to classes, gossips a lot, spreading discord in the community.
@@treehugger3615 Actually, Cypher is the one who has mixed feelings about which codes to follow. The life from his other self to the one thats seeking wishful promises through tango.
This is the most interesting episode, so far, and I can sympathize. However, I think you guys need to watch the movie Clueless. Most everyone I know have deep feelings, but none of that is visible on the surface level. People continue to chase the obvious, status, fame, money, or just plain attention, all things that are constantly fleeting. As of result, you'll miss out on what truly feeds you. The beauty of tango is that it magnifies desires and unfulfilled desires.
Great topic and interesting hearing you guys exploring and sharing your experiences. Food for thought thanks 🙏
@@chiron6699 Appreciate it
It's been said that tango is great for people who don't get enough rejection in real life! You said that you no longer know what's true or not. Argentine Tango is the illusion of the stage (or dancefloor) - cf Shakespeare : All the world's a stage... It's a world, but don't confuse that with real life, whatever that is for you, and try to take it back with you. The illusion can be wonderful, but only when you recognise that it is an illusion. Play the role with the connection of the abrazo - but leave it there.
Easier said than done. I find myself enchanted by illusions very often.
Tango is entangled with many paradoxes. One of them is to feel lonely in a crowd of people whom you acquainted with. Who knows, perhaps, it is a good thing. The more sadness, longing you feel at the moment the warmer your embrace will be, the more connected you’ll be to another person during your dance. You’ll give more to another person because you want to receive the same. Why? Just to feel better… Tango is a dance of true feelings. It doesn’t tolerate well superficiality and pretension. Perhaps, tango even at the dawn of its existence, was already considered a very special dance with magical therapeutical qualities… and that’s why we keep coming back to tango…
I'm kinda late commenting on this one. I never feel lonely. I rarely feel sad or angry or much of anything painful, and only when sorely provoked, and even then it's shallow and fleeting. Consequently, I don't experience dramatic contrasts in emotional valence. What I feel while dancing--in embrace and movement--is euphoric flow. It is thoroughly wonderful. I feel eager anticipation before a long weekend of dancing, and then a warm delicious afterglow when it is done, with no tangover. In earlier years, I used to overthink what others might think of me and my dancing. I have steadily uprooted all of those concerns over the years by simply observing the thoughts and ceasing to fixate on them. I do and don't care about partner's experience: I care in that I pay attention to their level of comfort, enjoyment & satisfaction so that I can learn & improve. OTOH, if they don't dance with me, oh well, so what, not a big deal, I just chalk it up to an incompatibility between what I offer and what they want. I have been around long enough that I always have unshakable confidence that I will have many good dances whether I already know people or not. I like to think that even if I am totally shut-out at the most cliquish milonga, I will still have a wonderful time listening to music and witnessing great dancing. I don't wish that upon myself, but I'm emotionally prepared if it ever happens.
Dancing only with the people that you like to dance with is very limiting, particularly when you don’t take a chance with visitors or unfamiliar dancers when you travel for tango. This is precisely what creates these cliques that travel in groups for tango, sit in their designated corners and only dance with each other. Why to travel? 🤷♀️
To give some perspective: when I travel within the US I know usually about half of the crowd which is probably 100 or more people.
Most of those people I only see when I travel. So while I enjoy dancing with new people sometimes it can be difficult because those people cabeceo me and I like dancing with them so I oblige.
For the people that I don’t know they probably won’t be trying to cabeceo me so I have to make a deliberate effort to bypass those cabeceo me to try to cabeceo them and they might not even look my direction
I too feels like a jellyfish 🪼
tons of lonely divorced women in my community
Send me the location 😊
@@yurigallegos8980 LOL
33 minutes? Buddy, you are beating a dead horse for too long. Please, make it short.
You can stop watching at any time. No one is forcing you to watch all 33 minutes.
@@LeftFootRightFootTango , that is exactly what I do..!
@@julioestorino4752 so then it really doesn’t matter how long the video is
@@LeftFootRightFootTango I believe UA-cam does not give you the same "rating" = credibility and therefore $$$$.
@@julioestorino4752 this is not true