Omg it's so true that Asian families seriously live by "ignorance is bliss". A family member did something bad? Married an undesirable person? Sorry, they don't exist anymore. Someone has an illness? Nope, they don't sorry they're perfectly healthy, sickness would never touch this family. Someone decided to follow a career path that doesn't involve studying at university? No, they're going to university of course. It's just a totally different way of dealing with things which is annoying sometimes to deal with but I also understand is a coping mechanism. Small cultural difference like that really make a difference to family relationships
Omg.. that's nuts. I think when it's same race married they kinda do that type of thinking. I noticed most people that marry not of same race are more accepting and more open minded.
People that insist on marrying the same race usually end up staying conservative and keep their traditions/values from their childhood. I'm thankful to be mixed because my parents did often have differing views that led to some good conversations on how to improve.
My family is HUGE both in size and reputation. Almost everyone in our hometown knows our family name especially since my GGGreat grandfather found the town. Since my family is so big you basically meet a new family member every get-together or reunion. I found out around a year ago that they are roughly 12 family members that no one in my family speaks of because they either were involved in some crime whether they committed it or not or abusing their family(kids or wife). It’s kind of sad if I think too much
I hope this video makes you feel less alone, I want you to know that you’re loved and you’re so brave. Thank u for being you!!! I don’t wanna be cheesy lollllll but ya just know, ❤️❤️❤️ Ivan loves u!!!!!! Also I wanted to add that I love my mom and dad more than ever, and so thankful for my family and you guys!!!!
I hope one day there will be no more "coming out stories". I never want my son to come out to me.... because it will hopefully be so normalized that you don't have to "come out". I'd rather he introduce me to whomever he's dating regardless of their gender because he feels comfortable in the knowledge that it'd change absolutely nothing in our dynamic.
My wish is for every parent to feel that way it would be wonderful. If you have raised your child to be the best person they can be and loved them unconditionally why would that have to change because of who they love
Asian families and latinx families seem to have a lot of the same values! My parents have the same ideas of adoption and carrying the name and also the entire pushing under the rug thing, etc! I empathize with your struggles and I appreciate you!
veronica guadalupe i tried to come out as bi to my mom, but she just acted like it never happened. don't know what's gonna happen when i inevitably have to come out as trans, she can't just ignore me for the rest of my life (hopefully).
I'm gay, Asian, it's hard as Asian to be gay, and is also a Muslim, and.. im from indonesia, i live in jakarta. it makes me more hard to come out to my parents that I'm gay. but I hope soon I'm going to say ''MOM... DAD... I'm gay, I'm proud, this is me..." all I believe is that you are who you are, and you must love that person, you. And now i fully love myself for being me
I know it can sound weird but you gave me the strength to come out one year ago and I’m so thankful for it 🥺. As an Asian gay boy I had literally no one to take as a model or follow and then I discovered you, at that time you had only 5000 followers. You taught me how to love myself with makeup and that being gay is something you shouldn’t be ashamed of. Thank you so so much for everything and keep going I’m also so proud of how your community has grown😭💗
this hit home. i’m living in malaysia my brother is part of the LGBTQ community and i’ve witnessed and heard about how much he has had to go through and endure being queer in this country. it really isnt easy. thank you for sharing 💕
I loved this so much, Ivan. You are living proof that authentic representation and visibility is IMPORTANT. Just by simply posting a photo, or uploading a video sharing your story, there are so many people who feel more seen and less alone. Myself included. As Pride month comes to a close, I'm feeling even more empowered to be myself, support others within our community, and keep pride going. LOVE YOU KING! Thank you for sharing ❤️💛💚💙💜
it’s definitely hard to come out to your parents when you’re not ready.. i was 13 when i was forced(due to a situation)to tell my mom about my sexuality and i wasn’t ready and i remember being so scared that i didn’t wanted to come out of my room but some days passed and my parent came up to me and we sat down and talked it through.. she was okay with it and accepted me and it was the most amazing feeling. I felt really good about myself and im currently 16 and yes, there are sometimes where im shy to talk about my sexuality because i sometimes don’t want to explain or i just don’t feel safe talking about it for some reason, but i don’t deny my sexuality and i think it’s good to sometimes risk yourself and be open.. i found amazing friends because of it ^~^ great video! don’t listen to negativity and live your best life ily :,))
Hey, I have been following you quite some time and I could relate your story as a Malaysian gay man. I came out to my parents 3 years ago and it was a very vulnerable period at that time. It took time with my parents to understand though initially there was a lot of crying and begging me to change (Glad that did not happen and I still live with them till this day). I think the part where your mum indirectly regards to your overall safety, it is something deep down I could relate it so well because my mum keeps telling me not to be out to my friends and other people that I trust which I told them I am out and they are ok with it haha. My parents only want me to live a normal and happy life so I think this applies to what your mum wants as well. Thank you for the video! Love you and will continue to support you!
Mean Girls was my first exposure to the concept of Gay and Queer individuals too! As a VERY SHELTERED and Religious Homeschooler, I had no clue anyone could be anything but straight ...or a nun. 😂 Mean Girls still holds a special spot in my heart because of the things it taught me. I’ve even got tickets for Mean Girls the Musical next month!! 🙌🙌 Thank you for sharing Ivan. ♥️
Jangan sedih ya. Don't be sad Ivan. I am here by your side. We are never walk alone. Cheer up Ivan. Semangat. Keep smiling and always be grateful of what God given to us about sexuality or everything. Remember, God knows what inside our heart. Be strong and be patient. Also enjoy your life😇. Greetings of Me from Indonesia.
i was forced to come out and it’s the worst thing ever. I can’t even properly explain how happy i am that you had the courage to do this. I really didn’t, and i still don’t. I hope to be as brave as you one day💕
i love you so much ❤️ seeing you cry or somewhat upset in any way breaks my heart :( you’re such a beautiful person and i’m so happy you could share all of this thank you for being so strong and being such an icon to the community, you remind us that not every lgbt person experiences the same thing but we’re all united thank you for being you :’)
Ivan when I watch you, I feel like there’s so much genuine emotion in every word you say. I hope you can live a happy and proud life no matter what you face in the coming years x
This is so powerful and necessary for more people to see. Living one's truth is often times one of the most frightening things one can do. But the freedom and REAL love that comes from it majesty it worth living. Thank you so much for sharing your story. 💙💙💙 You are such a beautiful light in this world.
Awww, I am sorry that things were a bit hard for you back then but I am glad that thing are going well with you now!! Also please never forget that I along with many other people looking love you so, so, so, so much!!!
Ivan! You’re so strong!! You’re perfect. If anyone ever says that it is a sin to be gay or anything about love, when it comes to religion they’re dumb. It’s not because they think you’re doing something wrong, it’s because they’re scared or because that’s what they was raised to think.. I love you, be you everyday! ❤️❤️
I really understand you. I'm Gay and I'm only 19 from Philippines. I have a lot of Friends facing situation like u. I just wanna know that we love and appreciate u. I'm just lucky that my parents are so understandable about my sexuality but sometimes they always said to me the same as you that they worried about what people say to me and possibly hurt me. But having an Asian Parents are the best thing in a world ❤
Ivan i love you so much, and i'm so proud of you, i actually cried when i saw your tears, i can't stand seeing the person who brings joy to my heart being hurt and sad, i wish u all the best in ur life and happiness💜
Has to be one of the best "coming out" stories seen...and obviously done by a NICE young guy! Most of the ones you see are done buy guys that seem to have an "edge" or "side" to themselves....or just like the publicity they get by being on a "site"....not this young man... he seems TOTALLY genuine! Let us ALL wish him a HAPPY LIFE!
omg! It broke my heart when your voice started to crack 😭😭 I’m glad they tried to understand and as you said took them time but at the end they do love you endlessly. In my case is differently, recently I finally found out that I’m bisexual, I never liked a girl before, all my girl friends have been just that friends that I even considered as sisters and nothing more. My relationships with men have been good and all..but then this great person shows in the picture and makes everything seem so beautiful and perfect that anything else can hurt you, you know? I fell deeply in love with her and even found myself shocked, like “oh God! What am I gonna do now? I like a girl, wtf!” I was worried my mother and older brother would not be happy with the idea, my girl was ok with the fact they won’t know because she knew them too and it didn’t bothered her at all, she always said it was for my own mental health.. By knowing them and all the things I’ve been through with them that have been horrible made me think a lot, I jumped to the conclusion that we’d keep it a secret, so we did. We’re not together anymore but we see and talk to each other always. I had this other gf at 2014 we lasted almost four years.. she was ok with it too.. being with her kind of made rethink things and want them to know but one day they both made such disgusting comment about someone like me that it broke my heart and definitely decided that I’m too old for their approval, I don’t need it, don’t get me wrong; it would be great to be who you really are but I think some circumstances are just so unpredictable and hurtful that it’s better to keep it that way. I even think that maybe in a near future we won’t be able to talk to each other at all 🤷🏻♀️ three weeks ago we had an argument about those topics of never being there when they were needed, how I cried for help too many times, they don’t even know that once when I was a child my hair stylist tried to abuse me, they don’t even imagine how a guy I dated in 2010 did. They don’t know how I dealt with severe bullying and alcoholism at high school for about three years and how many times those people tried to kill me by just hitting me until I couldn’t move; honestly all that made me consider myself kind of lucky of keeping that side of me to myself and my friends who have been so supportive always, I don’t need anything else really. Honestly, seeing others happy fills my heart with so much joy that it doesn’t matter at all if I don’t have it myself.
hearing other asian people's stories about coming out just makes it clear how different things are in the philippines. though people here are pretty deep-rooted in religion, we are very accepting towards the lgbtqia+. i guess it's also because of the good representation on media is a really big help. i can see you doing the same anywhere else! i love you so much ivan, and i appreciate all of what you do and what you will!!!! ♡
“Our family comes to us in times of need, and that’s when you who your family is” that is so true. Family doesn’t just mean your relatives. It’s the people who support you and love you for you. SIDE NOTE: You are loved. I know you sometimes won’t feel it, but you are. Be proud of yourself. I know it’s not the easiest thing, but you will find your own way to do so. ♥️♥️♥️
I love how you don't try to make just clicks out of your coming out but you actually share something important and you have such an incredible view on the world It's for people like you, that I have faith in every single human being, that everyone has something good in them
We love your honesty and how much you are trying to live your life in the most positive way possible while healing your soul and bringing joy to all your friends and fans. We are here for the long ride Ivan! 💜❤️
You should be proud of yourself because you are the unique, there are not people who are the same as you. You are handsome and look very gentle and sweet! Be strong.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. You are a beautiful person. I'm a Christian and I appreciate your story and think it's important to hear how our words are powerful for good or for bad. I promise to have someones back in a time of need and I hope all the best for you.
Wanna One Forever well I don’t really want to be disowned by my own family since they are very strict Korean parents with very high expectations and they want grandchildren. I already failed them by not wanting to choose a career of their liking and well it’s extremely difficult for me
@@MinMin-xq7uu oh my you've got to be brave for this one cause u know, being happy is the most important things in life but sacrificing your happiness for your parents maybe worth it.. I guess.
I normally don’t watch coming out videos as I tend to feel very uncomfortable do to fear of what will happen when I myself come out. I always try but can never finish. This is the first one where I was able to get to the part where you come out and was able to finish it. Your channel truly is very comforting and I truly appreciate you, your work, and what you’ve been doing. One day I’ll tell you how it goes but that won’t be for another couple of years. Be proud of yourself because I know that I’m not the only person you’ve been able to reach. Thank you for being such an amazing person. ❤️
Ivan, this is my major cyber hug to you! Thank you for being brave and sharing your story with us. I am adopted and gay which can be a lot to take in, but my family accepts me and loves me unconditionally. I understand that my story is not the norm and I am very lucky. Keep up the great work and be proud of the strides that you have made in life.
Ivan I really LOVE your sharing and being so vulnerable, it & u are SO beautiful, and God bless you for having both the courage to speak out and share. You are also blessed to have parents as supportive as they are. I really have deep empathy for what many go through esp the internal shame that often leads many to dislike themselves and then engage in risky action. No matter what, God loves us all unconditionally and am sending you a huge hug, comfort and sincere love- sorry I am unable to offer in person. Yes your mention of Indonesia, which I take is close and due (south) of your parents, esp. in Aceh (province) is really harsh for ANY non-muslims even Chinese Christians I hear. As difficult as it is, being a brave "soldier" is what it takes for the future. I personally lived many years ago in mainland China studying Mandarin and teaching English, which I then did similarly in South Korea afterwards. In addition to what you mentioned, how else can we support you from afar? :) (heart)
I’m bi and Chinese... this is how I came out Me: knock, knock Family: who’s their? Me: I like Family: I like who??? Me: I like boys and girls is that fine with you??? My family:.............................
GOD i just recently found out about this video of yours and i am entirely could relate to the struggles and fear of living in a muslim family and country while being gay. just soo u know i just came out to my dear friends and that enough for me to keep loving myself while feeling a bit in denial as im acting straight to my family. cuz im my case, as far as i know there's people who gonna love me for who i am, i am entirely grateful and pay them the greatest gratitude for just accepting me. though some nights i just cried alone in my room when the lgbtq topic just lingers in the house for some time. i am glad and happy that youve came out to your family and i wish i could also do the same thing but maybe not in the near future. thank you for the video. ooh btw youre such a beautiful man tbh. love from malaysia
Yasss I clicked so fast good for u im bi (im a girl) and I came out to my parents I was so nervous and they support me welcome to the rainbow babie 💛💙💜💚❤💓💕💖
Honestly, I've been watching your channel for years now and you are the person that I believe really inspired me to get into makeup and be comfortable and proud of being and presenting myself as a gay male. This video right here just sums up how coming out is not for everyone, and how we ARE individuals despite the fact we are often labelled as a holistic minority. I really appreciate you so much and I thank you for putting into words something that can be really complicated and messy to talk about, but in such a calm, supportive and sensitive manner. Thank you for bringing the world so much intelligence and insight.
Just remember we queer people in Malaysia look up to you right now. you representing us. thank you for being so brave to tell us your stories 💖🌈✨ we love you Ivan.
@Papyrus Okagbue stop scaring people like that. They become weak because ppl like you put negativity in their mind. I live in Malaysia and most people don't even bother if their friend is LGBT. And you think Islamist in Malaysia so rajin to track ppl down meh..
@Papyrus Okagbue 1st you need to understand the case. He was jailed because the other party said he don't give consent to have sex with him and also for political reason too.. you won't get shot to death or put in jail for being gay in Malaysia.
Love is love, as a parent as long as my child is happy that is all that matters to me, however I understand the fear that a parent may have for the safety issue. I am so happy for you that your parents accept you for who you are. I think or it seems as though the younger generation is more understanding and accept people for who they are, at least I hope so. Your a beautiful sensitive young man, I wish you all the best.
i can relate to him when he said the whole situation of coming out was so blurry and happened so quickly. though i never actually came out to my parents, it's just that they knew it in their heart but refused to say it out loud. Personally, i think every parent just want the best for their child and once they inherited an offspring, they just expect him/her to continue this tradition, which is completely unreasonable. I'm asian and my parents, in fact, are those described parents and it kinda disappointed at first to know that i'm identified as gay. However, it got better as the time went by, though it was extremely difficult for me at first to live my own life. I had to do make up at my friends' house and talked about guys with my sister without allowing my parents to hear about this. I was at some point depressed and thought about taking my own life several times because i never felt like I was at home even when I was in my own room sleeping in my own bed. At some point of their life, they found out about all of my secrets and yeah, they called me to talk about it. It was actually my mom who came up to me first and said that she would talk to my dad, which she did in secret. Tbh, I never felt comfortable talking about this with my dad, since he is a strict one but it turns out he is more accepting than i thought. He took me out to buy skincare products, go shopping with me, take me to concert, drop me at the club. In fact, he is doing the father job better than ever and somehow we got closer. So, what I'm saying is that things take time and it's impossible for any parents to take it all in at once the fact that their offsprings are gay. Patience is a key in coming out but some parents can take longer than other to absorb all the reality. The life will be yours one day and every child needs their parents to go through that phase with them, so they can overcome whatever the society is throwing at them.
I love how supportive you are and I totally relate. You made me cry! I mean, seriously, you made me feels which is an accomplishment in itself.... Anyway, my mom reacted the same way. She had nothing against gay but her concern was how the world and family would treat me. I am glad you have been able to bridge those gaps and that you have such supportive friends. I think what you do is amazing! Good luck and keep up the amazing work!
Omg I totally get the "parents not flinching" cuz I came out to my parents just this last Monday and they didn't even have a reaction to it. Longest pause of my life!!
Thank you for speaking your truth, Ivan. Watching Tales of the city recently was one of the first times I’ve seen a queer Asian woman like myself on TV. We still have a long way to go but seeing people like you be open and honest is so inspiring. A video like this would have made me feel less alone when I was struggling with my identity years ago.
ivan teaches me so much in this channel, but the most important lesson has been to feel ok with showing my emotions and being emotional ❤️ you are so kind and so strong, ily
So touching to hear your story but side note I did not expect you to start doing your makeup because as soon as I started watching this video I thought to myself, “this man’s skin is flawless”.
Hi, Ivan! I just subscribed to your channel. As you shared your story with those watching this video, it was apparent that you are a tender and caring man. Your deep emotional feelings stirring up and coming forward while recording your story. I understand that you enjoy applying make up. That’s fine, of course. But you already have such a handsome face, you really don’t need to modify it with cosmetics. You are a strikingly good looking man! Best wishes to you. You go boy!
Thankyou so much for posting this video and being who you are.. Honestly im also a malaysian and im going to come out as agnoistic to my religious family and friends (i was muslim and they are muslim) honestly it felt so scary and hard bcz i dont want to hurt them..but i will be brave and free myself. thankyou so much bcz this actually make me feel not so alone.. thankyou really :")
Thanks for sharing your story. Very helpful for many people and very touching for me. I cried with you. Stay as great and open person as you are. You have a very positive and honest charisma for me. I wish you all the best for your life.
This video made me sad because I'm bi. But my family is christian and korean so im scared and if I got kicked out I would have no place to go. I hope someday 😫
Just a NCTzen My family is Christian too, but Kazakh, Chinese, and Uighur. I’m also currently living in a homophobic country so I understand how you feel. It’s terrifying
Thank you for this! I came out to the important people in my life last year but watching your video made me feel at ease about it. I am part of several minorities so for the first 20 years of my life i was so scared of my own sexuality, i was blind to it. I was so scared of being even more different, even more reason for other people to dislike or bully me. I was lucky because I found my best friend who loved me unconditionally and gave me a save place where I could finally face my own fears and eventually come out, first to myself and slowly to my friends and some family members. there are still a lot of people who i haven't told yet but i am finally starting to accept myself which is much more important to me
Thank you for your insightful and personal video. I'm sorry that your Mom assumed you would never return to Malaysia. That was a shock - almost like being "written off" by your Mom, though I'm sure she felt bad about how her comment affected you. Thank goodness she came to your room the following day to reassure you of her love. Sweet and encouraging movie: "Call Me by Your Name." Thanks for your inspirational message, which proves your worth to the world. Thank you. Best wishes for a safe and loving life!💜
Don't forget that you have our love and support in every thing you do. To everyone on this planet I just wanna say uf you guys feel down, remember that I love you guys though you guys don't know me❤❤❤
Ivan, I’m super proud of you. You’ve come way too far, i might have not been with you since the beginning but im glad I’m by your side now. When I saw you on Polo I cried because of how proud I am of you. Keep going, you’re doing super great. Much love for you Ivan 💓💓
I can see this is very emotional for you. It is good to know your family is supportive . Ivan keep being who you are ! I hope you have success in what you decide to do in life . You seem like a decent person . Obviously you are a handsome man as well . In time maybe society will loosen up in Asian areas to be more accepting of this lifestyle . These are just my opinions . I like LGBTQ Asians . I am not Asian , so many of the problems you have faced , I have not . But I have been subjected to some issues too. Peace and good luck .
I went to jakarta to go to college until my parents found out that im different, and force me to move back to my parent hometown and yeah that's basically what happened me, well i miss all of my friends there. but there is nothing i could do, so yeah that's basically my life now, just tryna lived with it for now
I’m so proud of you Ivan. I’m bi and I haven’t come out to my mom yet but I’m out to my sisters and friends. I’m so thankful that my sisters and friends were accepting and encouraging. Thank you for sharing your story with us. It’s really empowering. 🏳️🌈
I really just feel that Ivan would be an exceptional father. No matter the sexual orientation, you can still pass values to your kids:)
That quote doesnt mean shit if you in a traditional family
Ivan I love you so much
I love u!! Miss u Fei!!
Feiiiiiiiiiii
Omg feiii I love u and Ivan I love u too
@@IvanLamLJ I think we ALL love feii
Oh dear aejfsjdfl, fei i love you!
Omg it's so true that Asian families seriously live by "ignorance is bliss". A family member did something bad? Married an undesirable person? Sorry, they don't exist anymore. Someone has an illness? Nope, they don't sorry they're perfectly healthy, sickness would never touch this family. Someone decided to follow a career path that doesn't involve studying at university? No, they're going to university of course. It's just a totally different way of dealing with things which is annoying sometimes to deal with but I also understand is a coping mechanism. Small cultural difference like that really make a difference to family relationships
Lolol so true but that’s why we need to change it!
Omg.. that's nuts. I think when it's same race married they kinda do that type of thinking. I noticed most people that marry not of same race are more accepting and more open minded.
People that insist on marrying the same race usually end up staying conservative and keep their traditions/values from their childhood. I'm thankful to be mixed because my parents did often have differing views that led to some good conversations on how to improve.
My family is HUGE both in size and reputation. Almost everyone in our hometown knows our family name especially since my GGGreat grandfather found the town. Since my family is so big you basically meet a new family member every get-together or reunion.
I found out around a year ago that they are roughly 12 family members that no one in my family speaks of because they either were involved in some crime whether they committed it or not or abusing their family(kids or wife). It’s kind of sad if I think too much
Gowon Gang what you saying is true
I hope this video makes you feel less alone, I want you to know that you’re loved and you’re so brave. Thank u for being you!!! I don’t wanna be cheesy lollllll but ya just know, ❤️❤️❤️ Ivan loves u!!!!!! Also I wanted to add that I love my mom and dad more than ever, and so thankful for my family and you guys!!!!
Ivan Lam The world is becoming a better and safer place because of people like you (and you as well! Thank you!). ❤️
Love you
We love you too!! We have you and you have us!! 😄
I love you Ivan 💕 thanks for sharing your story☺️
We love you no matter what and congrast for coming out :-)
I hope one day there will be no more "coming out stories". I never want my son to come out to me.... because it will hopefully be so normalized that you don't have to "come out". I'd rather he introduce me to whomever he's dating regardless of their gender because he feels comfortable in the knowledge that it'd change absolutely nothing in our dynamic.
My wish is for every parent to feel that way it would be wonderful. If you have raised your child to be the best person they can be and loved them unconditionally why would that have to change because of who they love
I doubt its gonna happen anytime soon but here's hoping
STAYkind I hope so too but I don’t see that happening for at least one hundred years
LMAOO I was dead when you were coming out as Asian. 💀
But Ivan I’m so happy for you & thank you. 💕
I want the world to know I’m azn
Ivan Lam
Wowie
“You know how Asian parents are, they don’t flinch, at all. They just: 😶”
I’m not even Asian (I’m Hispanic) but I GET it, I GOT that 😂
Holaaaaa
Asian families and latinx families seem to have a lot of the same values! My parents have the same ideas of adoption and carrying the name and also the entire pushing under the rug thing, etc! I empathize with your struggles and I appreciate you!
Ya haha !! So similar
We are technically Asians.
Yep...Latinos and Asians have a lot of similarities in those aspects.
African families are also similar to Asian and Latinx families with their core values from what I have experienced
veronica guadalupe i tried to come out as bi to my mom, but she just acted like it never happened. don't know what's gonna happen when i inevitably have to come out as trans, she can't just ignore me for the rest of my life (hopefully).
Omg Ivan I haven’t even started the video but I’m so proud of you I love you and will continue to support you angel!!
I'm gay, Asian, it's hard as Asian to be gay, and is also a Muslim, and.. im from indonesia, i live in jakarta. it makes me more hard to come out to my parents that I'm gay.
but I hope soon I'm going to say ''MOM... DAD... I'm gay, I'm proud, this is me..." all I believe is that you are who you are, and you must love that person, you.
And now i fully love myself for being me
💗🌈🥺
Bins Cons good luck to you! You’ll get through this!!
Pls be save
Be strong.. Bismillah kamu ga sendiri..😊
Best of luck👍 but it's hard to do. it is same to me also
I know it can sound weird but you gave me the strength to come out one year ago and I’m so thankful for it 🥺. As an Asian gay boy I had literally no one to take as a model or follow and then I discovered you, at that time you had only 5000 followers. You taught me how to love myself with makeup and that being gay is something you shouldn’t be ashamed of. Thank you so so much for everything and keep going I’m also so proud of how your community has grown😭💗
this hit home. i’m living in malaysia my brother is part of the LGBTQ community and i’ve witnessed and heard about how much he has had to go through and endure being queer in this country. it really isnt easy.
thank you for sharing 💕
Tell your brother to stay strong, he has a supporter here even if I don’t him✨
@@Aexxan thank you so much for this, i'll definitely let him know :) 💖
I loved this so much, Ivan. You are living proof that authentic representation and visibility is IMPORTANT. Just by simply posting a photo, or uploading a video sharing your story, there are so many people who feel more seen and less alone. Myself included. As Pride month comes to a close, I'm feeling even more empowered to be myself, support others within our community, and keep pride going. LOVE YOU KING! Thank you for sharing ❤️💛💚💙💜
Thank u so much Chelsea!
it’s definitely hard to come out to your parents when you’re not ready.. i was 13 when i was forced(due to a situation)to tell my mom about my sexuality and i wasn’t ready and i remember being so scared that i didn’t wanted to come out of my room but some days passed and my parent came up to me and we sat down and talked it through.. she was okay with it and accepted me and it was the most amazing feeling. I felt really good about myself and im currently 16 and yes, there are sometimes where im shy to talk about my sexuality because i sometimes don’t want to explain or i just don’t feel safe talking about it for some reason, but i don’t deny my sexuality and i think it’s good to sometimes risk yourself and be open.. i found amazing friends because of it ^~^
great video! don’t listen to negativity and live your best life ily :,))
Hey, I have been following you quite some time and I could relate your story as a Malaysian gay man. I came out to my parents 3 years ago and it was a very vulnerable period at that time. It took time with my parents to understand though initially there was a lot of crying and begging me to change (Glad that did not happen and I still live with them till this day). I think the part where your mum indirectly regards to your overall safety, it is something deep down I could relate it so well because my mum keeps telling me not to be out to my friends and other people that I trust which I told them I am out and they are ok with it haha. My parents only want me to live a normal and happy life so I think this applies to what your mum wants as well.
Thank you for the video! Love you and will continue to support you!
You seemed confused about where you were from 😂 I love this personal get ready with me!! Excited for more content~
Existential crisis
Mean Girls was my first exposure to the concept of Gay and Queer individuals too!
As a VERY SHELTERED and Religious Homeschooler, I had no clue anyone could be anything but straight ...or a nun. 😂
Mean Girls still holds a special spot in my heart because of the things it taught me.
I’ve even got tickets for Mean Girls the Musical next month!! 🙌🙌
Thank you for sharing Ivan. ♥️
Jangan sedih ya. Don't be sad Ivan. I am here by your side. We are never walk alone. Cheer up Ivan. Semangat. Keep smiling and always be grateful of what God given to us about sexuality or everything. Remember, God knows what inside our heart. Be strong and be patient. Also enjoy your life😇. Greetings of Me from Indonesia.
i was forced to come out and it’s the worst thing ever. I can’t even properly explain how happy i am that you had the courage to do this. I really didn’t, and i still don’t. I hope to be as brave as you one day💕
Your parents forced you to come out ??
Moon light yeah they basically went through my stuff and left me with no other choice...
@@koo-core7274 This is not OK . they should give you some time and not forced you !! I hope you are happy in your life
Love how he was crying and then doing his make-up just casual. This is too iconic. Thanks for making this video, very relatable.
No matter who or what you love We will always support you 💞
i love you so much ❤️
seeing you cry or somewhat upset in any way breaks my heart :(
you’re such a beautiful person and i’m so happy you could share all of this
thank you for being so strong and being such an icon to the community, you remind us that not every lgbt person experiences the same thing but we’re all united
thank you for being you :’)
I'm Malaysian and I know it's hard, this makes me so teary. Much love to you Ivan.
Ivan when I watch you, I feel like there’s so much genuine emotion in every word you say. I hope you can live a happy and proud life no matter what you face in the coming years x
Thank you ! I hope everyone can too?
✨!*
I just want to hug him so hard the moment he teared up 😢 ,
This is so powerful and necessary for more people to see. Living one's truth is often times one of the most frightening things one can do. But the freedom and REAL love that comes from it majesty it worth living.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. 💙💙💙
You are such a beautiful light in this world.
Awww, I am sorry that things were a bit hard for you back then but I am glad that thing are going well with you now!! Also please never forget that I along with many other people looking love you so, so, so, so much!!!
Love u 💗💗💗
Ivan! You’re so strong!! You’re perfect. If anyone ever says that it is a sin to be gay or anything about love, when it comes to religion they’re dumb. It’s not because they think you’re doing something wrong, it’s because they’re scared or because that’s what they was raised to think.. I love you, be you everyday! ❤️❤️
This video is like please sit down, drink a cup of tea and listen to me for 213802 hours and you will not get bored.
Haha yes grab a cup of tea!
I really understand you. I'm Gay and I'm only 19 from Philippines. I have a lot of Friends facing situation like u. I just wanna know that we love and appreciate u. I'm just lucky that my parents are so understandable about my sexuality but sometimes they always said to me the same as you that they worried about what people say to me and possibly hurt me. But having an Asian Parents are the best thing in a world ❤
Ivan i love you so much, and i'm so proud of you, i actually cried when i saw your tears, i can't stand seeing the person who brings joy to my heart being hurt and sad, i wish u all the best in ur life and happiness💜
Listening to you talk about your coming out story while watching you put makeup is the best late night plan
Omg his voice cracking, I started crying Love you so much you're so brave
no matter how many times i watch this, i cry the same and also have the same pride, im always happy for you xx
💗😭😭😭
You’re so inspirational I love you so much for how brave and cool you are
Has to be one of the best "coming out" stories seen...and obviously done by a NICE young guy! Most of the ones you see are done buy guys that seem to have an "edge" or "side" to themselves....or just like the publicity they get by being on a "site"....not this young man... he seems TOTALLY genuine! Let us ALL wish him a HAPPY LIFE!
omg! It broke my heart when your voice started to crack 😭😭
I’m glad they tried to understand and as you said took them time but at the end they do love you endlessly.
In my case is differently, recently I finally found out that I’m bisexual, I never liked a girl before, all my girl friends have been just that friends that I even considered as sisters and nothing more. My relationships with men have been good and all..but then this great person shows in the picture and makes everything seem so beautiful and perfect that anything else can hurt you, you know? I fell deeply in love with her and even found myself shocked, like “oh God! What am I gonna do now? I like a girl, wtf!” I was worried my mother and older brother would not be happy with the idea, my girl was ok with the fact they won’t know because she knew them too and it didn’t bothered her at all, she always said it was for my own mental health.. By knowing them and all the things I’ve been through with them that have been horrible made me think a lot, I jumped to the conclusion that we’d keep it a secret, so we did. We’re not together anymore but we see and talk to each other always. I had this other gf at 2014 we lasted almost four years.. she was ok with it too.. being with her kind of made rethink things and want them to know but one day they both made such disgusting comment about someone like me that it broke my heart and definitely decided that I’m too old for their approval, I don’t need it, don’t get me wrong; it would be great to be who you really are but I think some circumstances are just so unpredictable and hurtful that it’s better to keep it that way. I even think that maybe in a near future we won’t be able to talk to each other at all 🤷🏻♀️ three weeks ago we had an argument about those topics of never being there when they were needed, how I cried for help too many times, they don’t even know that once when I was a child my hair stylist tried to abuse me, they don’t even imagine how a guy I dated in 2010 did. They don’t know how I dealt with severe bullying and alcoholism at high school for about three years and how many times those people tried to kill me by just hitting me until I couldn’t move; honestly all that made me consider myself kind of lucky of keeping that side of me to myself and my friends who have been so supportive always, I don’t need anything else really. Honestly, seeing others happy fills my heart with so much joy that it doesn’t matter at all if I don’t have it myself.
hearing other asian people's stories about coming out just makes it clear how different things are in the philippines. though people here are pretty deep-rooted in religion, we are very accepting towards the lgbtqia+. i guess it's also because of the good representation on media is a really big help. i can see you doing the same anywhere else! i love you so much ivan, and i appreciate all of what you do and what you will!!!! ♡
“Our family comes to us in times of need, and that’s when you who your family is” that is so true. Family doesn’t just mean your relatives. It’s the people who support you and love you for you.
SIDE NOTE: You are loved. I know you sometimes won’t feel it, but you are. Be proud of yourself. I know it’s not the easiest thing, but you will find your own way to do so. ♥️♥️♥️
Thank you so much for this!!!
Ivan Lam no problem!! You’re amazing ♥️☺️
I love how you don't try to make just clicks out of your coming out but you actually share something important and you have such an incredible view on the world
It's for people like you, that I have faith in every single human being, that everyone has something good in them
Thank you!!
We love your honesty and how much you are trying to live your life in the most positive way possible while healing your soul and bringing joy to all your friends and fans. We are here for the long ride Ivan! 💜❤️
You should be proud of yourself because you are the unique, there are not people who are the same as you. You are handsome and look very gentle and sweet! Be strong.
We love and support you so much Ivan, thank you for being such an inspiration for beauty both inside and out💜💜
Thank you so much for sharing your story. You are a beautiful person. I'm a Christian and I appreciate your story and think it's important to hear how our words are powerful for good or for bad. I promise to have someones back in a time of need and I hope all the best for you.
LOLOLOL "obviously i'm asian" part AHH hahahahaha but really I miss you and luv u v much
I started crying. Fr.
we all support you no matter what ❤️
I'm so incredibly proud of you Ivan 💕 So happy to see how far you've come
Your awesome for coming out. Now just accept yourself, feel the love within yourself... Before loving someone else... I have always loved asian men...
I SUPPORT. I Stan for you! Beautiful creature! I’ll also be coming out to my Asian parents soon as well, wish me luck, I’m scared
Good luck!💖 I hope everything goes well :)
Vika thank you so much!!
How bad could it be.. 😯😯 Im confused
Wanna One Forever well I don’t really want to be disowned by my own family since they are very strict Korean parents with very high expectations and they want grandchildren. I already failed them by not wanting to choose a career of their liking and well it’s extremely difficult for me
@@MinMin-xq7uu oh my you've got to be brave for this one cause u know, being happy is the most important things in life but sacrificing your happiness for your parents maybe worth it.. I guess.
I normally don’t watch coming out videos as I tend to feel very uncomfortable do to fear of what will happen when I myself come out. I always try but can never finish. This is the first one where I was able to get to the part where you come out and was able to finish it. Your channel truly is very comforting and I truly appreciate you, your work, and what you’ve been doing. One day I’ll tell you how it goes but that won’t be for another couple of years. Be proud of yourself because I know that I’m not the only person you’ve been able to reach. Thank you for being such an amazing person. ❤️
ivaaaan
Ivan, this is my major cyber hug to you! Thank you for being brave and sharing your story with us. I am adopted and gay which can be a lot to take in, but my family accepts me and loves me unconditionally. I understand that my story is not the norm and I am very lucky. Keep up the great work and be proud of the strides that you have made in life.
IVAN I FREAKING LOVE YOU also just know that we love you and support you 💜and thank you for speaking out 💜
You are amazing, Ivan and I love you so much. I'm from Malaysia too, so please don't feel lonely. I'm here for you and I'm proud of you.
Many Malaysian make-up artist looking up to you and... I hope this inspired them to not live in closet anymore
Ivan I really LOVE your sharing and being so vulnerable, it & u are SO beautiful, and God bless you for having both the courage to speak out and share. You are also blessed to have parents as supportive as they are. I really have deep empathy for what many go through esp the internal shame that often leads many to dislike themselves and then engage in risky action. No matter what, God loves us all unconditionally and am sending you a huge hug, comfort and sincere love- sorry I am unable to offer in person. Yes your mention of Indonesia, which I take is close and due (south) of your parents, esp. in Aceh (province) is really harsh for ANY non-muslims even Chinese Christians I hear. As difficult as it is, being a brave "soldier" is what it takes for the future. I personally lived many years ago in mainland China studying Mandarin and teaching English, which I then did similarly in South Korea afterwards. In addition to what you mentioned, how else can we support you from afar? :) (heart)
I’m bi and Chinese... this is how I came out
Me: knock, knock
Family: who’s their?
Me: I like
Family: I like who???
Me: I like boys and girls is that fine with you???
My family:.............................
How old R U. ^^ hi guy
Are u okay now? I hope yes.
GOD i just recently found out about this video of yours and i am entirely could relate to the struggles and fear of living in a muslim family and country while being gay. just soo u know i just came out to my dear friends and that enough for me to keep loving myself while feeling a bit in denial as im acting straight to my family. cuz im my case, as far as i know there's people who gonna love me for who i am, i am entirely grateful and pay them the greatest gratitude for just accepting me. though some nights i just cried alone in my room when the lgbtq topic just lingers in the house for some time. i am glad and happy that youve came out to your family and i wish i could also do the same thing but maybe not in the near future. thank you for the video. ooh btw youre such a beautiful man tbh.
love from malaysia
you're one of my biggest inspirations ivan
When you started crying I wanted to give you a hug ( if I could ) and I started tearing up too :'(
Yasss I clicked so fast good for u im bi (im a girl) and I came out to my parents I was so nervous and they support me welcome to the rainbow babie 💛💙💜💚❤💓💕💖
Honestly, I've been watching your channel for years now and you are the person that I believe really inspired me to get into makeup and be comfortable and proud of being and presenting myself as a gay male. This video right here just sums up how coming out is not for everyone, and how we ARE individuals despite the fact we are often labelled as a holistic minority. I really appreciate you so much and I thank you for putting into words something that can be really complicated and messy to talk about, but in such a calm, supportive and sensitive manner. Thank you for bringing the world so much intelligence and insight.
Just remember we queer people in Malaysia look up to you right now. you representing us. thank you for being so brave to tell us your stories 💖🌈✨ we love you Ivan.
@Papyrus Okagbue stop scaring people like that. They become weak because ppl like you put negativity in their mind. I live in Malaysia and most people don't even bother if their friend is LGBT. And you think Islamist in Malaysia so rajin to track ppl down meh..
@Papyrus Okagbue 1st you need to understand the case. He was jailed because the other party said he don't give consent to have sex with him and also for political reason too.. you won't get shot to death or put in jail for being gay in Malaysia.
@Papyrus Okagbue do u even live in Malaysia?
Love is love, as a parent as long as my child is happy that is all that matters to me, however I understand the fear that a parent may have for the safety issue. I am so happy for you that your parents accept you for who you are. I think or it seems as though the younger generation is more understanding and accept people for who they are, at least I hope so. Your a beautiful sensitive young man, I wish you all the best.
i can relate to him when he said the whole situation of coming out was so blurry and happened so quickly. though i never actually came out to my parents, it's just that they knew it in their heart but refused to say it out loud. Personally, i think every parent just want the best for their child and once they inherited an offspring, they just expect him/her to continue this tradition, which is completely unreasonable. I'm asian and my parents, in fact, are those described parents and it kinda disappointed at first to know that i'm identified as gay. However, it got better as the time went by, though it was extremely difficult for me at first to live my own life. I had to do make up at my friends' house and talked about guys with my sister without allowing my parents to hear about this. I was at some point depressed and thought about taking my own life several times because i never felt like I was at home even when I was in my own room sleeping in my own bed. At some point of their life, they found out about all of my secrets and yeah, they called me to talk about it. It was actually my mom who came up to me first and said that she would talk to my dad, which she did in secret. Tbh, I never felt comfortable talking about this with my dad, since he is a strict one but it turns out he is more accepting than i thought. He took me out to buy skincare products, go shopping with me, take me to concert, drop me at the club. In fact, he is doing the father job better than ever and somehow we got closer.
So, what I'm saying is that things take time and it's impossible for any parents to take it all in at once the fact that their offsprings are gay. Patience is a key in coming out but some parents can take longer than other to absorb all the reality. The life will be yours one day and every child needs their parents to go through that phase with them, so they can overcome whatever the society is throwing at them.
I love how supportive you are and I totally relate. You made me cry! I mean, seriously, you made me feels which is an accomplishment in itself.... Anyway, my mom reacted the same way. She had nothing against gay but her concern was how the world and family would treat me. I am glad you have been able to bridge those gaps and that you have such supportive friends. I think what you do is amazing! Good luck and keep up the amazing work!
Omg I totally get the "parents not flinching" cuz I came out to my parents just this last Monday and they didn't even have a reaction to it. Longest pause of my life!!
Thank you for speaking your truth, Ivan. Watching Tales of the city recently was one of the first times I’ve seen a queer Asian woman like myself on TV.
We still have a long way to go but seeing people like you be open and honest is so inspiring. A video like this would have made me feel less alone when I was struggling with my identity years ago.
💗💗💗
omg i love seeing u on youtubeeee,, i feel like there arent enough malaysian chinese in the media :(( but we exist
ivan teaches me so much in this channel, but the most important lesson has been to feel ok with showing my emotions and being emotional ❤️ you are so kind and so strong, ily
love you, thank you for having the courage to tell your story
So touching to hear your story but side note I did not expect you to start doing your makeup because as soon as I started watching this video I thought to myself, “this man’s skin is flawless”.
It’s 5am and I read that as “coming out as Asian to my parents” and was very confused.
Ahhahahah
Hi, Ivan! I just subscribed to your channel. As you shared your story with those watching this video, it was apparent that you are a tender and caring man. Your deep emotional feelings stirring up and coming forward while recording your story. I understand that you enjoy applying make up. That’s fine, of course. But you already have such a handsome face, you really don’t need to modify it with cosmetics. You are a strikingly good looking man! Best wishes to you. You go boy!
Wow I am so proud of you and you inspire me to be the best person I can be everyday!!
Thank u!! You inspire me!!
Ivan Lam gasp thank you ^•^
you have no business being this comforting and calming man 🥺 thank you for sharing, love 💗💞💌💝💓💞💌💖💘💝
💗😭🙏🏻
Hi ivan im one of your follower...your content is great im also a bisexual.. I've been out and i showed my true colors..iloveyou and goodluck 🌈🌈🌈💙💙💙
Love u!!
Thankyou so much for posting this video and being who you are.. Honestly im also a malaysian and im going to come out as agnoistic to my religious family and friends (i was muslim and they are muslim) honestly it felt so scary and hard bcz i dont want to hurt them..but i will be brave and free myself. thankyou so much bcz this actually make me feel not so alone.. thankyou really :")
💓💓💓
~Swipes notification before realizing title~ Wait a sweet succulent second.
He is so cute😭I wish him the best and I’m glad he’s like proud to be him
He looks sooo Korean to me. I'm still kinda shocked he's Malaysian
Great video. Thanks for being so open about your experience and talking about highly personal feelings.
Thank you!
Ivan, “add oil” (a Chinese way of saying go for it)! Hope to see more Malaysians coming out! 🙌
Thanks for sharing your story. Very helpful for many people and very touching for me. I cried with you. Stay as great and open person as you are. You have a very positive and honest charisma for me. I wish you all the best for your life.
I just wanted to say your gorgeous, I love you 😌 and I’m from Puerto Rico tooo!
I just saw this video and this is so touching.
I would like to say thank you for your sharing.
You inspried me a lot. Thanks!
This video made me sad because I'm bi. But my family is christian and korean so im scared and if I got kicked out I would have no place to go. I hope someday 😫
Just a NCTzen My family is Christian too, but Kazakh, Chinese, and Uighur. I’m also currently living in a homophobic country so I understand how you feel. It’s terrifying
박지민 I hope things go well for both of you. Stay strong!! 👍🏻
@@sagacity7786 thank you!! ❤
Pls coming out after you are independently able to live alone and have own financial support. Stay strong! 💞
Thank you for this! I came out to the important people in my life last year but watching your video made me feel at ease about it.
I am part of several minorities so for the first 20 years of my life i was so scared of my own sexuality, i was blind to it. I was so scared of being even more different, even more reason for other people to dislike or bully me.
I was lucky because I found my best friend who loved me unconditionally and gave me a save place where I could finally face my own fears and eventually come out, first to myself and slowly to my friends and some family members.
there are still a lot of people who i haven't told yet but i am finally starting to accept myself which is much more important to me
😙 Thanx for sharing Dear Ivan. Lots of 💖Love to your Fam too!!
Thank you for your insightful and personal video. I'm sorry that your Mom assumed you would never return to Malaysia. That was a shock - almost like being "written off" by your Mom, though I'm sure she felt bad about how her comment affected you. Thank goodness she came to your room the following day to reassure you of her love. Sweet and encouraging movie: "Call Me by Your Name." Thanks for your inspirational message, which proves your worth to the world. Thank you. Best wishes for a safe and loving life!💜
Don't forget that you have our love and support in every thing you do. To everyone on this planet I just wanna say uf you guys feel down, remember that I love you guys though you guys don't know me❤❤❤
Ivan, I’m super proud of you. You’ve come way too far, i might have not been with you since the beginning but im glad I’m by your side now. When I saw you on Polo I cried because of how proud I am of you. Keep going, you’re doing super great. Much love for you Ivan 💓💓
I already know I'm going to cry watching this. Thank you in advance.
I can see this is very emotional for you. It is good to know your family is supportive . Ivan keep being who you are ! I hope you have success in what you decide to do in life . You seem like a decent person . Obviously you are a handsome man as well . In time maybe society will loosen up in Asian areas to be more accepting of this lifestyle . These are just my opinions . I like LGBTQ Asians . I am not Asian , so many of the problems you have faced , I have not . But I have been subjected to some issues too. Peace and good luck .
I went to jakarta to go to college until my parents found out that im different, and force me to move back to my parent hometown and yeah that's basically what happened me, well i miss all of my friends there. but there is nothing i could do, so yeah that's basically my life now, just tryna lived with it for now
Oh that's not good hiding doesn't really help I think you were find.
I’m so proud of you Ivan. I’m bi and I haven’t come out to my mom yet but I’m out to my sisters and friends. I’m so thankful that my sisters and friends were accepting and encouraging. Thank you for sharing your story with us. It’s really empowering. 🏳️🌈
this is such a good topic to talk about , thank you for being so open with us , :)
Ivan, I love you. Thanks for sharing. I wanted to jump through my screen and give you the biggest hug!
You and Yoandri are beautiful together.❤️
I cried while watching this. Thank you Ivan for speaking up about this❤