Can wives and baby mamas co-exist | What's the problem anyway | South African YouTuber
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- Опубліковано 27 сер 2024
- Hi favs
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Nolu 🤍
Great conversation. I can relate and I am so proud of myself I am handling this so well. I have used my experience of growing up without a father to understand that as a second mother to my husband's child it is my responsibility to ensure my kids have a great relationship with their sister and that I created a loving and a safe platform for her to know that she is loved and wanted and she knows that very much. I hope this talk will help women to reach out and be better second mothers to their husband's kids.
You are so mature! It takes so much maturity to get to this point but ke 😅
Personally I’d be EMBARRASSED to be married to a man who has to be taken to court just to take care of his own child.👀
I’d also be scared because that means if things don’t work out between us, chances are I’ll struggle to get child support from him.
Imagine the drama😂😂😂. You think like me Neo
Without inserting myself into other people's marriage, but can men learn to take take care of their children.
I don't like how they they dump their children to their wives/mothers, and continue with their lives uninterrupted.
We want men to have relationships with their kids, but they will pick them up from their mom's, only to drop them with their wives/mothers and not even participate.
Men have been absolved from responsibility, and it pisses me off.
100% “It's their children after all”. It's almost as if everyone is fighting a listing battle.
It takes maturity and very good self esteem from both women, they don't have to be friends by the way, just cordial/respectful.
You're right Lerato! It takes a lot a lot but it can be done so beautifully 🥹
Amanda,you are doing so well. It's for the BEST JUST to RAISE YOUR CHILDREN AND you are doing so well
It's so sad that it has to come to this
Love the topic..i like how realistic Amanda is.i wish us young wives/baby mamas we can understand that men are the problem Not us..can we stop protecting our homes alone without our husbands being involved.We are all mothers lets treat each other as such for the benefit of the kids.
Well said ❤
I love this ❤
Sometimes baby mammas don't come to the party
I think we need to be honest with ourselves as women, if you honestly can’t handle a someone’s babydaddy just don’t date 1 to begin with this entire conversation can be avoided
What if you both didn’t know that he has a child ?
Amanda, I really think your baby daddies are very lucky, even after all they put you through you are still kinda enough and willing to let your children have a relationship. God bless your heart, God bless your kids❤... God bless you!
They are full of nonsense
The most beautiful thing about creating a good relationship with all kids as a man is when u are all gone n they have eachother. 2share a little bit of my story is that my dad had my older sister b4 us then broke up n marry my mum n had us, at first it's was hard but im so glad they work everything out❤ my mum,dad n my sister s mum had passed away but us as siblings we have each like never b4 as my typing my sister is the 1helping me out with a place to stay at jhb all 4 free 😊imagine if they didn't not sort their differences we could hav missed out on an amazing bigger sister 🤷 so think of 2mr when u do this thing hey
Ncooooo! Hence I always say, it's about the kids nothing more, nothing less
I personally feel that the wife should just make sure the baby mamma child receives enough moneytary support on a monthly BASIS on time. The child also has a bond with the father on a monthly BASIS.
You are right Cathy, but it's hard when both parties ate not cordial or respectful.
How is it the wife’s responsibility thought? Some things are not fair.
Imagine your man having an affair that led to a child outside your home, dealing with that pain then having to make sure the child is properly fed? I disagree.
Yes he can and should maintain that child but it’s not the wife’s responsibility.
Loving the channel so farrr❤️❤️🥹🥹i love how you articulate yourself 😩. You have beautiful skinnn🫶🏾🫶🏾😩❤️
Thank you so much for stopping by! Welcome to the family 🥹
woooooow i am out of words, I have so much respect for Amanda 👌👌👌👌and thank you ladies❤❤❤❤❤
Only a pleasure sis ❤️
Adulting is a scam 😩 these things are so complicated. I think it just takes everyone to work together and be respectful and if any one of them isn't then it messes everything up and unfortunately the child ends up suffering which is really really heartbreaking.
A huge scam! It's a lot when
To me as a married woman, there is 2 types of baby mama's... One I found already in the picture, one who had a child with my hubby after he lied about his marital status and the one who intentionally had a child with hubby knowing very well his marital status..... Guess what in all instances I go for the Hubby....... Open ur eyes ladies..... Trust me my baby daddy has been married twice... at no point till today have I ever ever disrespected these women.... My daughter is now 25 and I've always had this....I chose not to be friends with my baby daddy wives then..... I chose to respect their space.... The more I did that the more I saw them treating my daughter well especially this current one.... We are not close but I love her for loving my daughter
Aunty B, this takes a lot of maturity! I also have no respect for home wreckers! Singaphela
I love this duo so much.❤ Thank you Sisi for the video it is very informative.😊
Thank you Tshepiso ☺️. Glad you liked it!!
I honestly believe it is the man’s responsibility to be bothered and ensure that the baby mama’s child is well taken care of. He can build the foundation that would allow both women to find middle ground in raising the child. I’d be very embarrassed to Mary a man who can’t take care of his other child. What does that say about him as a father? It is a different case if the baby mama doesn’t want the man in their child’s life. A man who has to be taken to court to take care a child is a red flag.
I agree with you on this one. After all the child didn't do anything.
Thanks for another wonderful episode, such conversations are important in our society. ❤❤❤
Our pleasure!
My partner and baby mama had an okay co parenting relationship before she knew that we are married so when the baby mama found out that the baby daddy paid lobola for me she started by telling my partner that he must stop calling his daughter on her phone if he wants to talk to her he must buy her a phone and that time their daughter was 3 years old and she started refusing with the child. I honestly don’t have a problem with the baby mama at all and now that I also have a child I would’ve love for my daughter and hers to have a sisterhood relationship but it’s so difficult communicating with her because she’s super rude. As much as I want to reach out to her but it bores me that every time we want to see the baby we have to beg her. I just wish she can put her child first and it’s okay if she wants to be rude to her baby daddy and him however.
That's why I say, baby mamas are the big problem sometimes you try to be nice they show you flames
Babes, coming from a baby mama who is going through the same thing, that baby mama loves that man and hoped he would come back to mend their family but he didn't hence she acted the way she did. I blame the man because he probably gave her a false representation of there being an opportunity of him coming back (boundaries were probably not set). Even if she knew about you, how the man acted towards her may have gave her the false narritive of coming back so she was HURT when she found out he wanted to make you his wife. Nathi as baby mamas we do want our children be loved, but it pains her heart seeing another woman raise her child with the man she wanted. Your husband must set things right not you. Wena your role comes in when the child has access to her father again.
@@minenhlemaphanga9548 I honestly understand her pain and frustration but her daughter needs her father and they have a very beautiful relationship and all this unnecessary drama will have a negative impact on her children’s life (her first born is not my partners child but my partner is a father to her because the father is not present),as I said she has the right to treat my partner however she wants for as long as she wants coz as people we heal differently but her anger/hurt must not involve the kids.
I love how you all had this conversation.. so real and you faced all these uncomfortable points directly .this can happen to anyone and realy the MEN needs to set boundaries otherwise we will be fighting each other unnecessary and the only people that suffer are the kids
These are conversations we should be having!
What a great conversation ladies I'm definitely the advocate of protecting the kids honestly do not care about the baby daddy mna......... My child is the first born but we have to fight for everything really question women who date such man and be comfortable because their child are taken care of but the other children are suffering it says alot about you as a person I have made that decision that if my man has kids he will have a relationship with kids that he brought on this earth that's not negotiable for me otherwise I'm out simple
It's about the children not us😊
so sweet , came here from millennial mums vlog , so insightful and wise , Noluthando has a sweetness about her., I see why you are friends - a gentle request to put sub titles when you all go into your vernacular , its lovely but I lose some of the meaning . good stuff. thumbs up
Tahwa ❤️. Thank you so much
Just discovered this channel and I am loving it, I can relate to the content
Thank you so much! I hope you stay!
I live for these segments ❤you are adressing important topics.
My view is i dont think wives have issues with baby mamas,but i think the baby mamas might still be angry at the fact that he married someone else but i have seen their attitude change once they too get some one and get married too.
To answer mandy about the baby mama being married, i have seen that they are not as agressive when they too are married or in a committed relationship but when they are still single they seem to be abit or anger /agression for lack of a better word.
My thoughts exactly!
I think as people we should be aware of our strengths & weaknesses. Eg i know that I won’t be a good step mother hence i will never date someone with a child. It’s okay to refuse heyy.
S/O to all good step mothers out there:)🤍✨keep it up
I love how honest and direct this comment is.
Great conversation cause I'm caught in that situation right now 😢😢
I hope you heal 🥹🥹
Wow! Awesome conversation.
Glad you enjoyed it!
Yhuu, kwaze kwanzima!
I personally don't feel like I'll stay if my man cheats and has a baby outside. That's double the betrayal phela 😭 but things get so complicated if you guys already have a child together /are married.
I'm one of the people that tends to take the girlfriend/wives side (I'm sorry!) because of the hurt I imagine they're going through, and honestly speaking I had never even thought of the children, scary!
Maybe it's because I've never experienced this IRL, but yes Amanda does make a valid point when she says the babies are the most important in such cases. Eish.
It's not your fault it's because you haven't experienced it first hand. At least now you know
Really enjoying the conversation. Maybe one day we will have it on our channel
Please!!!
I came here by assoc..and you gained a subbie.. what an instresting convo. Learnt quite a lot.
Welcome to the family Ree ❤️
I’ve never been in a difficult situation than this one of co-parenting. I personally had to take few steps back and I’m okay with my decision. The truth is “he/she is a constant reminder of the pain u went/going through”
It's a lot and requires us to wear our big girl panties because wow! Do you think seeing a psychologist would help?
@@nolu_mqina for me it did help, I’d love to have this conversation with u ❤️
Black south african women should stop this baby mama baby dady thing.please only have children when you married
Sometimes kuvela kwenzeke
Good conversation that came on a perfect time...I am a Girlfriend whom was cheated on,my boyfriend has a child with a lady on my neighborhood,fast forward the babymama is always swearing at me for her own reasons that I don't know of ,nd at that time I am doing half of the things for her child.
1. I made sure her child was registered for grade one .
2. I brought her uniform with my own money regardless of the differences I have with the mother, including stationary.
3. I always buy the baby winter/December cloths coz I feel the pressure of the father who doesn't earn much ,kodwa I am always being called with all sorts of names u may think of nd the baby daddy is always siding with the babymama, and when I complain they shut me up with "what matters is that I choose to be with u and not her"
3. The baby daddy's family is very toxic to me ,and always make sure that I notice the fact that thy don't like me .
At this time ,I feel like leaving this relationship, and live my childless, stress-free life away from them.
Do what's best for you.
Girl shiya phansi, especially you don't have a child, find someone else..
Hamba gal....too much disrespect from all sides
Yhooo leave I beg you’ll find someone that doesn’t have a child they don’t appreciate you God will bless you with someone that will appreciate you
R. U. N
Love it😍
Amanda my gal and Nolu my sister.
Milly ❤️
I pray i never get married to someone’s baby daddy!! 😩 such situations sound hectic tjhoo!
Kanti, there's nothing yazi.
it also depends I'm the wife and my husband has a child. Funny enough I am raisung my step son and he is staying with me and hubby and my kids. It's was hard work at first but now we are there. Me and the babby mama are at the point were we co-parent very well.But mina i told her when i arrived that im not here to replace anyone but to make sure that my husband will be there for his son. When she ask us to take her son (the baby mama) cause financialy she is strugguling. I agree and my stepson we bonded very well and he is such a angel to me. Even when he visits his mom after fewer days she tell his mom that he want to come back to me. Even when she calls my husband yo anginandaba.
I love this but I know that I must have taken some maturity from both sides which includes mutual respect. For me, the child is important because he/she didn't do anything but sometimes can be hard too. How long did it take for you to bond and for everything to go well? You are goals!
It was about eight months or so cause i will make sure my husband fetch the child every weekend and school holidays by the time the son came to stay with us it was easy cause we were used to each other. The mother a told her from day one that this is not about us its about the child if yena she has issues uzozibona cause mina I'm not here to intertain her. The son is the one who is going to suffer not her. Mina angimushayanga ngesi tina. I was not even the reason they broke up. so she must fix her self. @@nolu_mqina
I always say, if you forgive your man for have a baby on you kshuthi you are accepting his child coz ingane is the only innocent person in that scenario.
100%
Vele Kwanda!
This reminds me of how my stepmom threatened to come to work and beat me because she thought her husband was supporting when the truth was that he was busy providing to his side chicks
Imagine the trauma! Even the energy of coming to your place of work 👀
Hau manje wena uhlanganaphi? Yoh enganya loyo sisi.
@@minenhlemaphanga9548 😂😂it was very sad
My husband's baby mama akonqeni ufouna asicele umbane and food 🤣🤣Phof umntana uhlala nathi, during covid we used to help her with food but wayiqhela unono🤣I had to say soze klk sondle umntana plus nawe 😂😂😂😂ngok akafuni nondibona
Una mandla ngeke yho! Umbane Pho😭😭😭🥹🙃. Phuma klocorner mtase please
😂😂😂 Wayeni khuthuza sana
Amanda she is very ryt man paint us wife as bad people whereas they are ones who are falling
What a harsh reality in some instances
This is a dream, elingasoze lifezeke, eli lithethwa apha😂
Haibo kuteni? 😂😂😂😂😂
Hay soze ifezeke le niyitshoyo cc, kungcono kuvele kuyekwe kunje, mhlawumbi nyan, its bcz men are the price, kodwa soze lenzeke eliphupha nithetha ngalo apha tuu
Worse kona ngok, ninqinelana ngoba a wife, should do this a wife, should do that, noo responsibility to be done by the baby mama, instead, naye she has along list 4 the wife🤣🤣🤣. Kahle kahle u wife, ufela ukutshatwa
Ndiyakuva but we are hopeful 😂 but I agree with you in this day and age, we allow pride o get the better of us! I take of my hat to the ones that do it so effortlessly but it is rare - which is sad .
You are 100% right! The wife is always painted as the wrong one and the one who has to abide by society's expectations forgetting that she's human naye.
Nice chat ladies 🎉
Thank you! 🤗
My favs❤❤❤
Thank you 🥹🥹
Yintoni le isebhotileni yeJam? It looks really delicious 😋
It's Atchar mixed with Jalapeno! It's so good
@@nolu_mqina iyabonakala ukuba imnandi ❤️
Mine I hate the baby mama she is a reminder of my husband's infedility I do not want to see her or hear her talking. However, for the sake of the innocent child and luv I had for my husband I tried to reach out ,support my husband with raising the child but the baby mama made it clear that she doesn't want me to be involved with her child.I don't know how's is that possible because we are a package .
Why don't you hate your husband?
I never said he is mam and honesty. I do not need to love the mother , all I had to do was to accept the child in my home because he is innocent. Then forgive my husband because I still love him ....
@@zelokuhlegina5886 In Amanda's words, you are the problem.
@@nondumisomazibuko2867 🤣🤣🤣🤣 maybe but kee in all honesty the child is acceptable . Kulikhuni kudlelwa bafethu but kee no matter how much we can fight for the pipe the child must be taken care of.
I hear you! For me, she's the problem because you are a package maybe meet with her nomyeni eakho
Some lines can't be crossed 😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂
What I can say is that wives are selfish. I am married and my husband doesn't have a baby mama. Buy I feel if he would get a child outside our marriage, I will not be nice to the baby mama and that's so selfish.
So we as the society should understand that at the end of the day there is a child involved and we need to insure that they are well taken care of irrespective of the situation. That's the only attitude that can help. What's done is done.
Thapi 🥹🥹
What happens if there's a child outside when you are married.Do you accept the child and say the child is innocent even though you know the mum was aware that your husband was married.Anything within the marriage is unacceptable.
Ladies let's take care of our kids and leave these men alone. God lives and children grow up. There's no need to put up with all this drama.
The drama can be very stressful!
We here!!! 😊
Yaaaaas! Semnandi
Same I also wish for a healthy relationship ship with mama womntana qha soze uyibone mntakabawo umntu uya beefer 1:56
It makes everything so much better!
Personally I don't think I will ever get along with the woman who is married to the father of my kids, before I even knew off her. Baby daddy was cheating with her fine that had nothing to do with her it was between him and I... I started hating her when unprovoked she sent me a very length email saying I should see means on how to take care of my kids am not the 1st nor the last person to be left by a baby daddy, there are many women out there who are raising kids. So I should forget ever getting financial assistance anymore.
The reason I hate her to date its because of her inserting herself in this situation, and the worse thing is the fact that after he left me for her NEVER even once did I call him. The only time I called is when he didn't send the money after 3 months since we broken up, that's when madam said "sekushaya scathulo sami manje"
Otherwise if she came took her man, left me alone. She and I would be OK, my kids were 11 and 3 years when we broke up. Now they 15 and 7 year old boys. And he hasn't seen them nor financially supported them since then. And no one is depriving him, cause my kids get along with his family, they call them frequently.
I don't blame the wife cause he had a choice aswell to turn his back to his only kids.
Aya your feelings are valid! It's deeper because she was a mistress and got married maybe that's why edelela! We should try to be better people because what's her problem
She's insecure and thinks uzomthata
Now I want this breakfast 😮😮😮😮
It slapped you!!!
The moment wives start to realize that these men are the problem then they will stop living in lala land.Becauze one day the tables will turn and realise the baby mama is not an enemy but a victim of a lying men that made her a single mother.
Patrica, we realise it but we not meeting each other halfway!
Men lie shame ,mandy is right .and true if they are removed from the pic you will get along
Can we try and get along now though
Here
🥹🥹
Common sense is Women supporting Women and do not find excuses for mens bad and non responsible behavior, married ones or non married
I'm with you on this one Lisa
@@nolu_mqina ❤️
Hayi Nolu- sister sleeps with who?????? NOOO WAYS sana, asoze kaloku.
Nolu is mad 😂😂😂
Awuzi 😂😂 it happens yazi
Silapha 📍📍📍
Thank you mtase ☺️☺️
❤❤
☺️☺️☺️☺️
Lol I am Mandy why him, why my ex awa I refuse. Keep your feelings 😂and make them die.
We don’t choose who we love 😂😂😂
@@nolu_mqinalol
ill never date a guy that does not take care of their kids, never ever,,ill never undertsand umuntu olahla ingane yakhe...lowomuntu deserves hell nje bandla
Ufana I'm shem soze! Its a reflection on him
10:08 😂😂😂😂😂
Hamba uyo travella u 1 😂
Yoh i was so disappointed in this convo. The host had nothing solid to say. Why was the question not asked, "when you have a baby by a married man, what do you expect?"
Sorry. Am going to need an intellectual conversation when it comes to this
You must understand that life is not as black as white as you may perceive. That question reminds me of the mini skirt/what were you wearing question which they used to ask rape victims in court. But then again this is my opinion and that was your opinion 🤷🏽♀️
@@candicegreen5877 thank you Candice for this comment, society is so used to victim blame its crazy. When the married man stepped out of his marriage what did he expect? Nobody asks men that. Well there's a child now and that man has a responsibility towards that child, regardless of anyone else's feelings/
Hi Rejoyce, if she asked, the answer would've been "Well there's a child now and that man has a responsibility towards that child, regardless of anyone else's feelings" and I would've posed the question of "When the married man stepped out of his marriage what did he expect?" "When you took him back after cheating, what did you expect? For the child to disappear?"
Hi Rejoyce, firstly your comment is insulting and I can tell that it doesn't come from a good place! If you felt that I had nothing solid to say why did you keep watching? This is my remember and if you don't like what happens here you don't have to stay. Open your own channel so you can have “intellectual conversations” - uyandi qhela rha.
@@nolu_mqina Like i said, i thought it was Millennial mom's channel hence i downloaded without checking. Correct, that was the first and last time watching on your channel. If you are always expecting positive comments, that's on you. My comment still stands.
Incestry 😅😅😅
😂😂😂😂