introverted Feeling sucks | Why Fi is so weird [by an INFP]
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- Опубліковано 26 лип 2024
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If you’re new to Geek Psychology, my name is Matt Sherman. People call me Sherman. I'm a personality type expert, life coach, hypnotist, author, podcaster, and course creator. I help mainly INFPs embrace their unique strengths and navigate life's challenges. Through practical strategies and deep insights, I aim to help people like you live a more fulfilling and authentic live where you can wake up and feel good about who you are and your impact on the world. introverted Feeling sucks - mainly because there's no education around it. Also, if you're an Fi dominant, you're stuck trying to make deeply resonating personalized decisions but are probably too unsure of which path to take until you've already started. So you sit there thinking about it and trying to "Feel" your way through it to make sure it matches your identity BEFORE you actually do it.
How do you know if your Fi appraisal is correct without taking action? You don't! Unless you've experienced it before, you're gonna struggle with it. That's why we have to get more experiences under our belts!~
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Introverted Feelers need pets to talk to.
We do! Real or imaginary. I used to talk to my dog in Japanese and Spanish all the time. I bet he was fluent in wan-wan.
Dog, cats, rabbits, horses, plus interaction with various farm animals while visiting horses. I think I really delved into the animal bonding. Then I studied zoology books while at home if I wasn't writing adventure fantasy. And yes, I talked out loud to the animals.
Sometimes I think things outloud and confuse the people around me..
My cat is the only one who doesn't both to ask me what the heck I'm talking about.... haha I get so tired of telling people, "I wasn't really talking to you." Lol
Probably why I have 4 cats
Life would seem boring & unkind if it weren’t for the friendship of my cat. Kitties are champions of compassion and intuition! 🐾❤️😻
is seem so hard for me as an INFP to be having fun with my life, outside i might seems funny, happy, but inside, I alway thinking about who am I, why other people always seems better than me, taking things personally even on many things that so simple. My head full of emotion that I been struggle with in many last years, ecspecially after my Highschool graduation. so i try to ignoring them by learning many languages, skills, instruments, or whatever that can took over my mind. But, I just can't.
Augusta Verbian same
and most of the time, you don't even realize you're thinking those things.
Same here. Until now I am caged in those thoughts that I feel like if I let it go. I would lose myself.
Ikr
An enfp here with Fi and im experiencing exactly what youre saying right now and it sucks ;-;
The power of Fi is that one time I remembered something super embarrassing while I was taking a shower, and I got all flushed and red as if it actually happened again.
lol. Casually reliving traumas in the shower.
The Mad Hatter Yes, I understand that. I have full flashbacks, especially in the bath or shower, of even minute embarrassed situations, even 20 years ago. I think we have a full sensate memory, not just recollecting visually or audio-ally (a word?) but full emotional/ psychological and physiological memories. Yoga helps 💗😳🦋
I hate that so much it always feels like its squeezing my heart into a little box
I wish I had this memory for exams
I hate when that happens...
Do INFPs obsess over their emojis, trying to put the most accurate ones down? 😳😜😮
Totallyyyyyy
I do. I even wrote an essay about the differences between them and the impact on them due to Japanese culture. :)
I do not use them very often as an Infp
i was going to say NO... but remembered how in the few times i used emojis, i ran through the whole roster.
You're not the only one. Let's all unite! 😁
It's quite unfortunate that society doesn't teach you that you need to experience a lot of bad to know what's good, but life will gladly teach you itself if given the chance.
Truth. Too many people are asleep though and don't reflect on the experiences enough in my opinion. But to quote Jeff Goldbloom... "life, uh, finds a way."
I am an INFP and I feel this. As a kid I always had an active imagination and I would often over romanticize something in my head and then break my own heart when it wasn’t the way reality was. I still do this but I can recognize when I’m doing it. I also spend a lot of time in my head trying to rationalize every decision I have ever made and was it good or bad or if this thing happens and I do this what does that say about me. I also spend a lot of time focusing on how others feel and how I feel. It is actually kind of exhausting lol
As an infp, I tend to think things over and think about myself a lot, but my personal thought process doesnt include words. It's a bit hard to describe, but every thought is placed more as an idea, and it makes me afraid of having to word it wout to other people. I'm generally not super verbal with my feelings in general, but it's scary when I'm put on the spot about my thoughts and feelings. Not sure why I wrote this, but I hope someone out there might be able to relate in some way.
Absolutely. Thoughts usually come to me as concepts or some sort of cloud and i literally have to think of a way to express it in words and it’s not that easy all the time
Now that I read this I think I can relate. My thoughts just always seem to be a blur. Although verbalizing my blurry thoughts and feelings in my journal or just talking out loud to myself helps me a lot to know and sort through how I feel.
Oh my goodness this is actually so relatable. My thoughts are usually abstract, they don't come in proper words
For me its the taste of emotions I have for something (Anything, objects, concepts), and how they intertwine, and then perspectives and conceptualization on those things can grow based on gained knowledge, but since im so introverted I can't grow cause those emotions and tastes in the world are so jarring. Just going out in the world to see others pain, uncared for urban decay and the waste of space taken from natural environments, and the fears I experience with such regular things mixed with everything else. Realizing that others priotize different functions is interesting.
i am an isfp
Infp has strong emotion. Most of the other types are more stable. My suggestion is to express the emotion through art or music. It helps me a lot. I draw a lot not for the money but exercise for mental health.
♡
Me too
I've always been such a huge music fan. Love going to concerts and meeting people who like the same music. Really brings the E out of me though I'm an INFP.
5:46 This is why people who have Fi are amazing actors. If they have experienced something similar to the character they are playing, or can imagine themselves in that situation, then they can convey their character's emotion so much better and clearer than those without Fi.
This doesn't mean that people without Fi are bad at acting. It just means that they have to sometimes work harder than people who are Fi dominant.
Wow that makes perfect sense! 💗
My BIGGEST advice to younger INFPs is to TRAVEL!!!! Go to a foreign country that you know nothing about. I traveled by myself in completely new places and it was paradise for my Ne with all these new possibilities and torture for my Te to figure out how everything worked but it has helped me so much. If you really want to discover your unconscious values, put yourself in uncomfortable situations as much as possible! If you are an INFP and you want to know everything about yourself and it’s killing you inside, trust me, I have been there for so long. You just need to put yourself in the most uncomfortable situations. Then harness that in your Si to validate it in your Fi which will help you grow and discover so much about yourself. Being an INFP is a hard objective in the world but not a bad thing. But if you just do what challenges you it will give you the strength of those around you and the insight of an INFP together. And that is something absolutely spectacular
Nice, thanks for advice!
I dont have the money lol, and covid19 happened 😂💁. I want to go to US and Japan so baddd...😔😔
Thank you for that advice! I've been interested in traveling for a while. This encouraged me to try it out. Well, once the pandemic is gone at least. 💖
That's what i did when i was younger i traveled traveled traveled all over and it helped me be more present in the moment without the hangups
Very true, it doesn't necessarily to be traveling (that would be awesome though!) but I feel like INFPs have to push ourselves out of our comfort zones, as much as we hate to do so. Our extreme self awareness can actually help us to identify our weaknesses/non-dominant functions and strengthen them.
What I love about being an INFP is how fucking awesome other INFPs are. All of that generic manipulative and useless self help stuff is worth nothing compared to what INFPs themselves can tell to other INFPs
100%
I've been to Drs, councilors and psychiatrists. But none of that made anything better. I didn't even know what INFP meant a week ago. Yet every comment from every INFP I've read in the last week has either been what I'm feeling or been comforting or been helpful like actually helpful. It's been blowing my mind.
Ah yes the struggle of emotions during teenage years. I used to cry everyday in this class that the teacher started leaving a box of tissues on my desk.
I got so angry in my Teen years , and was very depressed , i was actually really emotionless as a Teen from taking everything so Personally and getting emotionaly abused by people , i still have that belief that Humans are Perfekt , if i Go out i just get so Frustrated and give my self the fault, but i found a way of accepting that people are not Perfekt .
@@zockerlp92 I relate to that strongly. Grew up with overt narcissist Dad, covert Mom, 6/7 siblings with every cluster B imaginable. My INFJ sister (who became a psychologist) was the golden child/scapegoat, I was pure scapegoat. I shut off my feelings at 11, but remembered all the reasons and decisions that led to it. I became much like my family out of self defense, much to my horror later and definitely not an excuse. I eventually realized I wanted to love right around my 17th birthday, so I retraced all my suppressed emotions, faced my fears, and apologized to everyone I ever wronged (including God). Still took several narc relationships and a 17 year clueless marriage with a satan worshipping, homicidal, pedo, serial cheating prostitute of a malignant covert narcissist until I learned what narcissism even is. Finally came full circle where I learned to hold my own heart sacred, and especially the gift (not curse) of empathy. Yes, it's difficult sometimes when I litteraly experience other's emotions...embrace or distance, but don't deny. Also learned to consciously remind myself, "don't take it personally." and especially "it's better to be wrong than weak," when making decisions (instinct is never wrong, if you trust yourself as an INFP). Ugly truths are far more beautiful than the prettiest of lies, both internally and externally.
We all have different paths, but when we figure out our purpose, and live in it, there's the purest form of inner peace, oneness, congruence and the confidence that comes with it. More than anyone, we can know who we truly are.
Hope this gives you some ideas/shortens the learning curve.
@@asktheetruscans9857 I don't believe she was a pedo...come on now...
Are you crazy?????????
Like what?
You look so gentle. I am an INFP as well.
This is so interesting and so true.... I'm INFP by the way. It's so hard. This world is not wired for people who process things like us. You are LITERALLY describing the struggles I go through every day. Crazy... Thanks dude.
I'm glad it resonated :) Hopefully having it described like this and all the great comments from others shows you that you're not alone in the struggles ;)
Every INFP ever: play at 1.5x speed and you won't even notice a difference in the information flow (coming from an INFP).
I put everything at 2x. Save time, trust your unconscious to put it together! :P
Yup
Lol every podcast ever. Didnt know that was a possibility with youtube though! Things almost seem to get lost in translation when they come through too slowly. I've heard that there's lots of crossover between adhd and infp...
Yeah! Lets put at much info as possible in that infp brain 😜
You just saved me future minutes of my life 🤯
My mum is INFP (I'm ISTP). Things like this help me to understand her, why she seems so hurt by the smallest things I do. She has the biggest heart of anyone I know. She worries that her plants will get too cold outside or her birds are happy enough, she calls them her babies. God love her.
She also is very creative, she writes poetry and does a LOT of different types of crafting.
your mum sounds like me 😂
I remember that as a little girl, certain songs would make me cry, I was a great actress in the school plays because I read a lot of stories and just get myself in the mindset of those characters, and once in my teen years I closed myself in my room after making a scene, my sister hitting the door and I was just "leave me alone to die!"
Génesis Chaparro wow. Same
Wow now I know I wasn't crazy lol
Oh, to have your own room that you can lock yourself inside and make it your own place
😂😂
I see Fi as a secret set of commands that I follow. It's not easy for me to explain my reasoning for most decisions to people, and I spontaneously do lots of things which makes me look like I'm very erratic, but in my mind I know there's a rhyme and reason to all of it.
My Fi makes me stubborn as hell, and often my Fi instinct is dead on. I know how to say NO to people pushing me to do stuff (well I don't actually know how to SAY no but my actions say no ;) ) and I'm comfortable in leadership roles where I have less organising to do and more 'leading by example' to do. I am a teacher and I enjoy hanging around little kids. I don't enjoy the part where I have to constantly nag them to sit still or listen (but as a teacher I'm forced to order them around a little bit). The part I love is when the kids and I are all sitting in a circle and sharing stories or doing crafts together or drawing... I like becoming one among them and doing what they do, and they like me to drop my boring adultness and be with them. I believe this is my Fi leading. Teaching them that loving what you do is just as important as listening to your teacher.
I get along well with INTJs whose Fi is tapped into once in a while. I find that they give the most balanced, compassionate advice.
I love that aspect of teaching as well. And I struggle with creating order in the classroom, but I always hope that leading by example will someday register in them.
Nice distinction on your actions saying no :P Really resonated.
pixieminx86 Very cool. I wonder if this is why I am a natural with kids and used to be such an in demand nanny. I used to get hired on the spot, like for raising twin girls from the day they were born to almost two. And after that, my natural nature with especially toddlers and infants, the parents were like, Oh my gosh, we want you (!!) so I began to get paid very well because... I never understood why... is this why? I connect very well with kids, animals and old people because they are so pure, I don’t have to put hesitancies in front of me... they are all so pure 💗 Peace out
But I was a poor disciplinarian. I’d say no more cookies, and the bigger kids would just ignore me cause they knew I’d never take an authoritarian position 😳😜💗
This was so awesome to read. I think I want to find a way to start getting involved working with kiddos in a similar way through volunteering. Maybe doing reading partners or something. Thanks for sharing!
So you're definitely infp-A, like me
The biggest thing for me is i take things too personal. Im self absorbed and very sensitive. When people tell me things I'm always evaluating what is said because it's easy for me to get offended
Same here
Currently being in my late 20s, I think I managed to get a grip on my emotions. At least outwardly. Still, there are people who are able to look at me and say something like my colleague recently told me: "You look calm and collected but I sense stuff is happening constantly inside you." I wonder if she's INFJ, my INFJ sister is able to look right through me as well.
Still waters run deep, my friend. INFJs definitely have an uncanny ability to pick up on other people's emotions. Ni and Fe together anyway.
Geek Psychology
Does that mean ENFJs share this ability too?
@@zain4019 I think so
@@zain4019 sure
@@zain4019 INFJ's pick up on other's feelings, even when someone passes them by, but in a general way. We (INFP's) put ourselves in other's shoes, see/feel things from their perspective, very specifically. The mechanism is different, but the result is similar. INFJ's see right through people consciously in a way that can separate them, despite their empathy. Whereas, we identify so strongly it's difficult to not be enmeshed and actually feel their feelings. However, I think we learned to ignore/suppress that just to be able to function, which is why we also ignore the reality of the person and project our own innocent intentions onto them (I think). Still trying to figure out/exploring that blind spot. We know our potential, and our gaps/what we need to improve to meet that potential. We have the strongest impetus to become our ideal potential. We love our potential as "our true self," and think other's potential is who they truly are. Not so!
It's important to discover and embrace our potential for darkness, that we may also see others as they truly are. This gives us the ability to distance ourselves (less porous emotional boundaries) AND live consciously with the bombardment of purposefully clear awareness of a whole room of different emotions/situations simultaneously, without exhausting ourselves. It's actually invigorating, with efforted practice.
Thanks man👍 Time to break the fuckin law guys
Np. Hope you enjoyed all the positive messages within it and every other video I make, too :)
Just curious though, have you ever downloaded a movie or educational program you couldn't afford, skated or breakdanced on restaurant property, hopped a fence to look at the stars, eaten Taco Bell on the picnic display of a department store, smoked weed or a cuban cigar, or drank underage, or not report a police officer for HIS illegal activities? Because you might have broken the law but learned something about yourself and possibly the infrastructure of society in the process. Not saying it's great, but things like that have taught me about what I personally value and what I do or don't want to become. First hand as an embodied and powerful experience.
"In my world there are no limits or laws"
@@GeekPsychology wow. Thats an INFP response if I've ever seen! (Fellow INFP)
@@GeekPsychology umm,,, we're similiar dued
@@GeekPsychology ah my 20s 😅
I sold weed, got in street fights and drifted cars. 🤫 I don't do that stuff now.
But I did learn alot about myself and made some very good lifelong friends. At the time I think I was just trying to be cool and make up for all the awkwardness that was my school life.
hello I'm an infp and can happily report that art schools are the closest in line with our thinking and development:)
Wild watching this as an INTP because Fi is so foreign to us
It was exactly what I did. I got into an abusive friendship, experienced it to the extreme until I was completely sure how I felt about it. Other things the same, like drugs, illegal or cringy things, political activism, having a cat, suicidal research, writing fiction with the title "The boy that felt too much" a.s.o.. I wonder if I'm the only one who has these things I call _metamorphoses?_ Get through experiences for some years, then, snap, sort of transform into a new personality. People around me flabbergasted.
I recently taught in a school that was based off of an educational theory that you can learn best by identifying what values you hold important. There was circle time everyday where the teachers and kids sit around discussing the important things in life, lots of self reflection, lots of discussion and really digging deep into what we and our society deems important. I'm not going to say what school or where because I don't want to dox myself, but it was a very INTJ environment.
I quit after a year because, ironically enough, it was there, in that reflective and safe environment, that I realised I want to be doing something I thoroughly enjoy for a career and not just going through the motions.
That school sounds great. And the job of a good coach (school, in this case) is to foster enough development for the coachee to leave and grow from there on their own. Sounds like the school did it's job, though in an unexpected way :P
I'm ENTj. My 4th function is Fi. I can still cry about beautiful music infp musicians make. I love my Fi it's my favorite thing to do. Experiencing emotions and being authentic. I really result orientated but alot of times I value emotions to much so I don't always get the results I could have. So hard to stay balanced
Interesting, doesn't solving problems and achieving goals make you happier compared to experiencing emotions that might impede your progress?
You definitely know this dude is an infp when you're only a minute in and you're already subject to a deep visual metaphor when trying to explain something lol
I'm an ENFP and I'm in a relationship with an INFP. Often it's magic, but each week she processes between 1-3 days where contact is very minimal (maybe a single text per day) and it's really hard. It makes me think something is wrong, that she's upset with me, even though we've never had a fight yet or really anything wrong. It can really do an emotional number on me.
Ah yeah. That sounds rough coming from the other perspective!
She might be 100% fine. She might need some introvert time. She might be an Enneagram type 9 and be upset but can’t let it out. Lots of things!
I think the best thing you can do is to continuously “be there” and let her know that you’re willing to giver her the space she wants, but would like to slowly get “mapped” into her comfort zone. Maybe not in those words. /shrug
It takes time and patience. I wish you the best :)
@@GeekPsychology Is enneagram type 9 a common thing for INFPs? Cause I am also both those things.
Me too! INFP and 9w1 ...
I'm retired and have been stuck in a rut of feeling like all the good stuff is behind me. To try to remember the message of this video when I find myself facing a situation or opportunity, I'll tell myself that I'm gonna be FiNe!
I heard someone explain Fi in a way that I resonated with, totally. It has to do with empathy combined with a vast categorized reservoir of memory. Like the INTP who remembers every fact, we have more of an invisible memory of feeling states, so when we connect with people, it’s like we fluidly and unconsciously follow in real time other people’s emotional states (probably without realizing it) as oh, that’s a combination of emotion A.7, B.4, D.3, F.99, with a mix of T.33 and undertones of ZXB.8828.... lol but I totally get it. Or we just have a lot of mirror neurons
But when someone is hostile or volatile in a way I haven’t experienced personally, I freeze because I haven’t experienced that specific signature of emotion. I don’t hang with people like that because I don’t want to learn to mirror it or feel that way. But I’ve gotten angry about 7 times before, but I just say out loud, “I’m so mad, I’m so mad” and people always think it’s adorable because I giggle at the same time, so that makes me get even more furious. It is hilarious and funny
Sorry that was off topic, but I like your videos, you are a sweet and cute INFP. I feel you... all your inner states as if they were my own, as a sensitive INFP... I know Fi is about value systems, maybe we also value people’s feelings and that’s why we can be so present and conscious when we are watching someone express their innermost self. We usually don’t detach, give fast fix-it types of advice or turn away from deep authentic people... idk. I’m on an Ne ramble LOL 💗 (I used to thing that meant lots of love) 💗 you are a sweetheart
"But when someone is hostile or volatile in a way I haven’t experienced personally, I freeze because I haven’t experienced that specific signature of emotion. I don’t hang with people like that because I don’t want to learn to mirror it or feel that way." That is so true!
Yeah. Thanks for the heartfelt comment.
I’ve been in those situations too. It’s important imo to put yourself into many of those situations so you have an emotional experience to tap back into when it’s necessary.
New experiences always trip me up too when I’m leaning on that tertiary introverted Sensing Guardian that just wants to protect me and keep me safe. Gotta just open up sometimes and explore. :)
Orchids Rising
We really need someone in the INFP community to explain what you talked about further- how INFPs experience or attempt to mirror emotions that they’re not very familiar with, like anger.
I find I just get very angry at the people who are angry, because anger, although not bad in itself, may lend itself to physical representations that are harmful to others, and often, I’ve experienced that as the case- so my response is both fear and red hot anger at the potential lunatic that’s about to hurt someone:)
It’s weird and I wish it didn’t happen. I’d definitely like it if I was more calm.
@@zain4019 I totally understand you. I just saw these comments from apparently a year ago. It’s 2020 now, omg. I’ve been learning to translate all my emotional experiences and energetic experiences/ understandings of the way energy or emotions work within and among groups of people, all affecting each other.
I think I may start writing on it, because the philosophy in my head has been at work for a number of years trying to figure everything out (within myself and between people) at an energetic level, so I can keep going towards creating the most ideal experiences within myself and with people. Idk if that makes sense.
But late this year, i felt like I was gonna blow, too much input, too much chaos, too much stress. I got pulled into a meditative state, and now I go there regularly, like I made best friends with myself, discovered a deep infinity of peace inside my consciousness or heart. And the more I get in touch with that, whatever it is, the more solid, fluid and genuine I feel, like subtle things like bliss and unconditional love for just the state of being, and that energy I can carry into the world, as long as I regularly process out any negative emotions inside.
My mom thinks I sound like a schizophrenic when I talk like this, but I think INFPs and INFJs have very similar experiences even though our cognitive functions are literally the opposite. I sometimes wonder if I am mistyped asan INFP, or maybe it’s simply life experience that makes me relate to everything INFJ, idk. I feel like I’ll never have a satisfactory answer to which one I am, for many reasons and stages in my life, brought out very different parts of my personality. Peace ☮️☯️💗 I love your comment. Sorry I went on a tangent 😝🌍
@@nuevesc 💗 I know this is so Woo, but I’ve been discovering that the more inner peace I get in touch with and happiness with myself I continue to grow, my locus of control is coming back inside of me, instead of basically what any type of abuse does if it seeps in... it made my locus of control external for an excruciating and highly over-sensitized few years. I feel like I’m coming back home inside my heart, now, and there’s power to master the self in there. I like this journey out of trauma and now getting into making my experience of reality the best, because ultimately in that state, I will have the best impact on humanity in general, whatever I do. ☮️☯️💗🍀🥳
Long distance hiking. Long distance biking will give my fellow INFP's the time and exercise induced flow state which is perfect for self reflection and pondering deep concepts.
Be blessed y'all 🙏
Thanks for posting this video man. Im an infp applying for jobs. They gave me a task to do and asked me to do it in 30 mins. I couldn’t do it within the time linit. I kept thinking of different ways to do it without coming to enough conclusions. i began stressing out and before i knew it i was feeling so low and slow and i couldn’t think straight. I totally shut down and retreated into my si comfort zone.
Im 25 years old, and i still struggle with the fact that i need to endure pain in order to grow, but on the positive side, this has happened enough times for me to know that ill grow from this
How'd the job hunt go? Making decisions suck when you're trying to attach it to your identity, eh?
Have you heard of decision fatigue? I was thinking about it today. ETxJs make decisions quickly, efficiently, and by using as little mental resources as necessary according to the brain scans. Fast and evidence based. This made me think about how IxFPs are leading with a judging function, too, and on the same axis (Fi-Te are connected), so are probably doing something similar but with a twist - right? So I was thinking about how decision fatigue is probably hitting us hard because we're trying to make so many decisions with a lot of weight on them that we get burnt out and actually make few "actionable" decisions in the process. Just some food for thought.
I can relate so much and it's not the age cause i am 37 and still have a really hard time accepting to suffer in order to grow. It seams so cruel to me that life is made that way. Everyone is always preaching that what does not kill you makes you stronger but seriously i have quite often experience the oposite.
Tasia Tasia
Show yourself out of your comfort zone slowly, bit by bit. Our comfort zones are simply experiences that we have often traveled and tread, countless times, or winding roads between those paths. To fully experience who we are and the world, we need to create our own paths. New ones.
Gently pry yourself out of your comfort zone. It’s incredibly freeing! It takes time, but you can do it:)
Do small things, every day, and keep doing them. Do those things every day. As time goes on, expand and push yourself a little more, and do something more challenging. Just be gentle and do this process slowly, that way, it’ll stick and become something you find normal or even second nature.
Good luck and I wish you the best:)
Really needed this today. You might want to share a video about how to fight Fi following a failed experience. Sometimes the knowledge gained from leaving our comfort zone doesn’t always seem worth the pain we feel soooo intensely afterward.
HARUNOboy17 For me, writing really helps Ne kick in and find the positive lessons in whatever happened & gain ideas for what to do next time. But don't sugarcoat it and try to get to the happy feels right away. Write your honest frustration first. Maybe you already do that, but I know sometimes I resist doing it when I'm down, even though I know it will help. Maybe art or music would be more effective for ISFP. I hope that doesn't sound too simplistic. I just kind of feel that when it comes to Fi pain, "the only way out is through."
appletree That’s super helpful actually. Thank you, kind stranger!
HARUNOboy17 I'm so glad to hear it! You're very welcome! Just went through that whole process last weekend, so you're definitely not alone! Glad we have places like this to connect with like-minded folks. :)
When you are a INFP and have to going back in the video 'cause was distracted
I'm sick of Ti users telling Fi users that they are somehow inferior. The reality is that Fi dominant people have unique gifts and a unique perspective. INFP's are great people and we should be proud of our majestic cognitive abilities. Just because it's a bumpy road doesn't mean it's not worth it--there are things that we understand that a Ti user could never even grasp if they tried--and to that, I just laugh. I laugh at the notion that WE are the ones missing something.
I’d stay off the forums or wherever the trolls exist ^^
@@GeekPsychology As an INFP it's been a rough ride trying to just accept who I am in the most basic sense. As in, I have a right to even have the personality that I have. And lately I've had an epiphany, that I need to take off the filters that I've placed over my mind over the years, and just experience my pure consciousness without them again. And also appreciate what is actually there, for all of the chaos that this ends up bringing. Social media is toxic for every one, but it's especially toxic for Fi users. All of these opinions from other people--in the end they mean absolutely nothing. The only thing that really matters is the direct experience of consciousness. I think the biggest downfall for an INFP is simply to care about what other people think at all, but as an INFP it is so difficult to ignore that input, it's practically an act of heroism to overcome. But what would actually happen if an INFP stopped doubting themselves? It's kind of an amazing thing to think about, and I'm trying to learn that.
Yeah. I’m an INFP. I agree ^^
I rarely use social media now because I found it to be just mindless drama.
You might be interested in this: I’ve made a 30-day program (www.inowfeelpositive.com) to help other INFPs get more tools for growth and positivity from intentionally using the strengths and improving the weaknesses of their function stack.
@@GeekPsychology I'm normally not into gimmicky stuff, but since you're an INFP I'll trust you enough to take a look at it, especially if it's your passion project. Cheers.
Geek Psychology
Oh cool! I’ll definitely check that out!
I'm a young INFP and one I'd highly recommend you to take a piece of paper and write or draw smt when you're crying or smt similar to that. Do not worry about the anathomy or if it's gonna be bad just do it. I often make the best drawings at those times.
No! No! And No! 😁 Protect your fi !!! Don't sin just to see how it makes you feel or if it matches who you are! Instead explore experiences such as different jobs or dealing with different people or speak up and stuff like that! The idea is to overcome your fears and not to give in to them by corrupting your fi. There is no need to be immoral to find out what is fair or unfair. 😎
Our fi allows us to learn also from orher people s experiences, tjis is why we dont feel the need to try bad things because we know they are bad,and denying that would make us dishonest to ourselves.
Ernesto Gamez
I totally agree! Plus, the emotional mapping INFPs do can very easily let them feel how they would feel if they really did do something. And if your body starts screaming “no!”, then don’t do that thing! It’s very likely against your moral code. There is a possibility it’s just outside your comfort zone, but it’s way to tell the difference between the fear of hurting someone and the fear of taking in front of a hundred people.
My biggest suggestion as an INFP that has struggled with almost 2 decades of stunted growth... is acceptance. You can't wait for everything to be perfect to accept who you are! Self-identity is never a reward of your aspirations, but the foundation to them. ACCEPT yourself, you have to be comfortable and love yourself unconditionally no matter where you are in life to break yourself out of that jail that you built in your head (or your parents/partners/society help built). We are almost destined to be late bloomers and that's ok, because good things take time, and we INFPs do things because they are hard and worthy, right? So celebrate your resilience right now, and I guarentee you will start to see all the difficult things in the rear view mirror, and be excited for the future.
I’m still relatively new to learning about these cognitive functions. I would say I’m an INFP and listening to your video reminded me of how volatile and/or visceral my emotions and feelings were when I was in younger. Two things come to mind. One time in middle school, I don’t remember the exact details, but I remember one of my friends teasing and what felt like bullying my other friend. I had an open milk carton in my hand (I was drinking it), and I got so furious that I threw the milk on him (the one that was doing the bullying). At the moment, it felt like I had no control like it was a very strong impulse. Another time was in high school. The teacher put on a movie for the class to watch. And the ending of the movie had me uncontrollably bawling, especially since it reminded me of something in my family. Good thing the bell rang when the movie ended ‘cause I did not want my classmates to see me like that. But my friend who sat next to me noticed and was so shook and wondered why I was crying. I tried to explain but I was just a blabbering mess. It took me a while to get myself back together, but boy, I was so not expecting to cry a river at that time.
Now, I’m older, and I feel like I have a better hold and understanding of my feelings. My feelings are still very strong and come off as unruly and even confusing at times, but I find strength in my feelings, including how they allow me to be passionate about certain things and compassionate towards others.
Thanks Sherman, I don’t think I will ever fully understand my trickster/blindspot but you are doing a good job to describe the way you experience Fi to me.
NP :P I do my best. That 7th function wackiness... Se is the same for me when trying to understand it and the actions of my ESFP friend.
We also have the ability to empathize with others' emotions and experiences so deeply, that it seems almost as though they are our own. This allows us to befriend people from extremely diverse walks of life and social status. We don't actually need to rob a bank, for example, to understand what drove someone to the deed. We don't need to be a monk, to understand the rigors of the discipline. This is why our book/music/movie/art [& people (? 😮)] collections are so diverse. 🤯😁
A few powerful INFP defining traits are their way with words and also emotions.
I have noticed myself unconsciously ricocheting a negative emotion a close friend or person’s caused me to feel - right back at them. Could be over the course of a week or so.
And INFPs and words (in the written form) are one. It’s as if language is something we can bend and manipulate into anything we want. Often my mum and I will write phrases we don’t even know the definitions of, but we can just feel what context it can be used in.
Finally I’m one step closer to understand my dominant Introverted Feeling function, nice explanation!! 😹😹❤️
I am INFJ and I agree with the fact that your dominant function is just sooooo close to you that you’ll have trouble perceiving the world in any other way.
I remember when I first found out that I am INFJ, and was really wondering if I act on Ni. Turns out that I do, but I was always soooo oblivious to it just because I thought that it was normal for humans to be like this before I learnt about MBTI. And I often just store “common sense” in the back of my head and move on with things.
My mind is always floating between the conscious and unconscious. And often times I don’t even understand myself and why I make some decisions.
And that’s because my mind is so extremely accustomed to using Ni at all times, that I wouldn’t even notice it. From my experience, us Ni-doms have “gut feelings” as often as we breathe. It’s just that we usually notice it more when those gut feelings are more intense.
I am quite very interested in feeling what a Fi user (especially a Fi dom) sees the world as.
INFJ here. When you said you need to use your auxiliary extroverted function to get out of being stuck speculating on how something is going to be-I noticed an incredible parallel with INFJs. We can get stuck in our introverted intuition dominant function and need to use our Fe to break that loop. Great video!
Oh fuck yeah Ash.. Never ending LOL
I appreciate finally finding this. You have all the same knowledge about self that I do. But you are so much more organized with the message.
I really needed this today. I feel like I’m hitting that emotional figuring out what the hell is going on phase. I recently figured out that I’m infp and thr biggest thing that has bothered me is everything about infp just knowing what is going on with them using Fi, but feeling like I don’t know squat. Hearing that I’m not the only one who has to proccess and learn to develop that ideal Fi is something I really needed. And, I probably needed to hear that I should try more things to see how I feel about them instead of trying to hit the nail on the head about what is the right course of action, for me, the first time.
I’ve struggled with wanting to know the answers first before even trying. I will work through it!!
Life is that school
:)
Walter Wiseman You should Google The School of Life.
the number of times i broke down crying in class, well glad to know i aint the only one
Fi is so painful. Drives me nuts some time. I wanna get rid of it. Luckily it s my second function but still powerfull. I got you bro. My mum is INFP. I don t judje her now anymore like I used to do when I was younger. Now I listen to her and try to understand her or at least accept her moods.
That was a perfect description of how I feel 👍 you just said what I could not express in words
More than half of the video, it was like me speaking 😂 You put my thoughts out there, and added to them, thank you!! 😃 This whole thing about experiencing, I know and agree so much; after experiencing we can really relate, come closer to knowing us and become what we want!! It is an everyday battle though, at least for me.. Funny how some things, like this video, come to us just at the right time..! 😇
Thank you again for your insight, take care! 😊
I really love how you express yourself in such a soft yet clear voice the meaning, the message you want to deliver to your audience. I'm quite shy and doing presentation about art and articulating what that means in shapes, design what could be improved I find it hard to express verbally... I dunno but it's draining to express emotions and feelings that I can only do through art. I don't wanna describe what that shape, what that color what that composition how they coexist together Cuz I just go through a flow mode while creating art and bam it's done. I find school a bit challenging and I noticed most infps have social anxiety for not having enough alone time for themselves like I posted a poll on infp amino and 95% voted that they have anxiety?! Sth about this made me think that... is it the society; the era we live today that we don't belong? Oops, my bad for ranting but normally I feel that there's sth wrong with the society wait wait... I'm not blaming but the phone // social media made us feel not good enough and we try to feel validated through others and then the fast - paced life where everyone forget how to live in a less rush mode. My world changed a bit after I discovered mindfulness from Jon kabat while I was wandering in an alley where there was an antique shop while feeling so hopeless about my life.
Thanks :) I still feel like I have a long way to go in learning logical presentation of ideas. I mean, I’ve made like 250 videos I think and still fight the process.
It just takes time and practice to reverse engineer that “bam” thing so you can communicate it.
@@GeekPsychology wahaha~ alright, I'll be learning from you then. I'll check your other videos, not all 250 of course but yeah, it's a learning process ;)
The Fairy Doll
I hope you’re doing better! I relate to a lot of what you said.
That spine tingling chill said soooo very many words perfectly 👍
I decided a little while back to create a values list and put them in a hierarchy. I weigh most major decisions against this list and it’s constantly evolving as go about life searching for them. Has helped tremendously when I’m stuck on multiple options or not sure where to go next.
Jeremy M What did you end up with?
1. Immediate family, 2. freedom/autonomy, 3.win/win (compromise), 4.respect , 5. goal setting 6.adventure/exploration, 7, Growth/learning , 8. guidance/helping 9.integrity/authentic, 10. directness
An example of how to use this would be if you are offered a higher position at work, but it required you to work very long hours. If your number one value is family then taking that position may be a bad idea because it takes time away from your family. Even though you are making more money, leadership is not a top value and family is. You could end up dissatisfied with your choice. Puls money doesn't lead to fulfillment, but living within our values does. Also, this list can change as you learn more about yourself.
Nice list!
Jeremy M
I’d bump integrity/authenticity and guidance/helping others a few notches if I were to make one:)
Everything you said fucking landed. I had no idea how useful this personality test would be to finding people who relate to me. Being kinda emo as a kid and fucking crying during music class was way too accurate. I've learned I am such a stereotypical INFP it kinda hurts 😭😭
I’m an ENTP. I’m still trying to understand Fi as my blind spot. 😝
Ti is... intriguing... for me too.
3:51 Exactly 😂that’s why I think going to school is quite meaningless these days... I used to be a good student with good grades, focusing in class, believing that studying makes my future better. However, I found out that the most important thing is acquiring skills. That’s what makes us special. I always think that people have their own strengths and that “something” they are good at is their own skills that will lead them to succeed. And then me after writing this long passage, I know what I am passionate about but I was not allowed to do that because that is not what my prenatal hope for. Another INFP here seeking for your advice. Thank you for this video👍🏻 I might be more logical tomorrow morning and try to get my essay done.
Fi with Ni are one of the hardest functions to understand as an intp, but this was really helpful. keep it up!
Thank you so much for this! This was so helpful!
Fi's have the ability to be great actors, presenters or chameleons. However the longer we do it, the more we suffer. I treasure authenticity and I'm finally free to be myself anywhere at age 40. Being yourself at school isn't always such a great idea. I'll give you that.
I realize lately how important it is to understand one's cognitive functions and know if you have healthy or unhealthy cognitive functions
I’m the same way!!!! Infp here. I drIve myself crazy trying different things all the time and feeling like I never know what I want because I need to try it first.😫😫😫 I’ve had so many jobs certifications different routines etc. Constantly seeing if the stupidest little things match my values - like what colour I paint my walls or the arrangement of my furniture. Help me not be crazy lol 😜😜
Amanda G. Dumas me too
I came here to find out more about this type. You guys are wholesome! 🤗 - ISFJ
I am an Entj with Fi as my weakest function but everything your saying is 100% correct!!
I sometimes find myself so shocked at what I do, yet I still feel completely confident and self assured!
ENFP here. Yes. All of this is very accurate. It's not my dominant process, but a lot of what you're saying deeply resonates with me. I can feel people's emotions if I've experienced them myself but I really can't do that if I haven't. This is something a lot of people don't seem to understand about Fi; they just assume we're selfish or coldhearted because we can't adapt to the emotions of the group. It's not that we don't want to, sometimes we really try to embody it, but we just can't do it if we don't understand that feeling. My ISFJ mom would use these situations to tell me how selfish I was and how little empathy I had. It was so upsetting because I knew I wasn't but didn't know how to articulate that.
The funny thing is I started crying while I was watching this video
Great video! I’m 42 and I’ve learned what you are saying throughout my life. This video should actually be titled: “How INFP’s can harness their superpower”
Huh. Well I'll be damned.
I really needed this because Fi is indeed so unconscious, I kept wondering if I actually had it. But I guess it makes more sense to just experience Fi through... Well, experiences.
I am an INFP and became a very unconventional English and Careers teacher because I wanted to help students understand that everyone one is unique and that they can be true to their core strengths and values. In English we did character studies, especially in Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream, In Careers we did Personality Inventories. I had a blast and the kids and parents LOVED it.
I'm an infp and I actually LOVE proceeding by Fi. It gives me some sort of "wisdom" i feel and i like it because proceeding always by logic and seeing if things make sense tires me.
Wow this is a actually a good one ❤thanks.
We do love to learn the hard way dont we?
During my type journey, I thought I was so many types. I would choose a type that I thought I was and I would literally try to live like that and operate with those functions. It was very challenging. Some were so exhausting and obviously not for me but others were similar and I got confused about my use of the functions. It was only upon self reflection and self acceptance that I was able to come to the realization that I am an INFP. What I was doing was being who I was all along. I was taking each type in and experiencing life as that type. I was just being an INFP the whole time 😅. I never have to doubt myself again and now I am able to grow and develop naturally. I feel so thankful that I have found my true type and I am free! 😅😂
INFP are shit
Just take the myer briggs personality test. you can find it online. Its easy, best to do that instead of guessing
@@taliyahs1918 I have taken many tests and studied the theory and cognitive functions. I am actually an INFP. I am 100% sure of it. I am also an enneagram 4w5 with instinctual variant sx/sp
Lo! I winced when you said you cried in music class. That happened to me as well and I have many more times when I felt similar emotions.
:,(
Do you experience bad mood swings ,like you are on a walk and you think of something and then something happens and you feel how your subconscious is like thunderstorm and can’t tell what is going on and why you are feeling that way?
Tony Robbins’ stuff is great for developing Fi (clarifying values etc)
Right?!
I liked a guy for 5 years and thought we would be together in the future because he kept looking and staring at me, then I must have romanticised this future I was going to have with him but I realised we only really talked once and perhaps he wouldn't be what i thought. I kinda realised that all the emotions were tied to my desire to have a husband and children. I also always live in preparation for this future that doesn't ever show up and ive spent years wasted on my imaginations and hopes. Im pretty sure this is an infp thing but also very human. I was too socially anxious to go back to be around him so I just waited for a day where I would but years passed by. Anyone relate to this? 😢😞🤦🏻♀️
Well said Matt
Thank you 💞
Thanks ^^
i do be kinda sad doe. i just mask it with the funny. also im not emo im sad, sometimes depressed. good thing the adhd and anxiety helps me cover it with the funny, but they're also apart of the things that cause it sooooo... i really need my meds to start working again. lmao
It is not unclear to an INTJ, not true. This is a misunderstanding. INTJ knows very well what he/she feels, he/she just does not express it so freely like others do.
Hi, here an INFP
First thing, thank you for the video.
And yes, I agree with that about experiences for the INFP, we need have experience about the real world for understand and take best choices about our life, our connections and decisions.
ENFP here, the school of life would be my answer. If you can't trust in yourself, you're truly lost, that's what life has taught me. I feel bad for Fe types that feel the need to reflect either their environment or their idea of how people should feel at all times, when we can just be ourselves. My biggest learning curve about Fi was learning to accept myself as I am rather than imagine a better version of me and/or set a goal of who I need to become(Ne/Te comfort zone?).
I know what you mean by experiences and being able to relate. Our experiences make it we're able to relate to others better with kindness and compassion.
Thank you for your insight
I cannot thank you enough for this video. I am an ESTJ with a suppressed inferior Fi, and when you started explaining your decision-making process, it made me feel very uncomfortable. I immediately started thinking about how unproductive it was and experienced slight pain in my chest area. However, now I understand this function better, and this may help me build better relationships with INFPs in the future, who are all so attractive, intriguing, captivating, yet so frustrating for me to deal with.
I'm so glad to see ESTJs out here, my best friend is an ESTJ and I want to understand her more, but I find hardly any comments or opinions coming from them, and there is so little information out there about the type. I rarely meet ESTJs who are interested in MBTI altogether, so it's such a relief!
Dasy Taylor Thanks for your comment! I have not performed any studies on ESTJs or interviewed any of them, simply because I do not know that many - I meet ISTJs way more often, so I will just share my perspective on this. I classify all objects, animals, people, theories and tools as useful or not useful to accomplish my goals, and based on that I either choose to interact with them or dismiss them. However, my goals do not necessarily have to be selfish, and often they are not. I refuse to accept failure - instead, I will just choose another tool to achieve my goal and regard the previous tool as not useful (and then either remember it as such or save it in an Excel file). Before I found MBTI, I thought everyone operates like an ESTJ or ISTJ, just with different efficiency. I was highly surprised when I met an INFP for the first time, and I thought he was on drugs. I made a nasty remark after mentoring him for a couple of hours, because I was frustrated with his slowness, but then I felt guilty and apologized immediately. Instead of getting offended or angry with me, the INFP apologized too and commented “you must be very tired, do you want some coffee?” I got even more wary of him - not only he is on drugs, he can also read minds! MBTI helped me realized that his brain just works differently from mine, and I need to adapt my communication style to him, so that he gets my message.
@@hypercaine9680 That's actually very interesting, thank you so much for sharing this!
It's extremely unproductive... unless it's the driving force behind the productivity... then it's unstoppable! 😅
I'm an Infp and I'm laughing way too much at this 😂. Fascinating isn't it, we are that different. It's actually weird to think that people don't think the same way we do, but, logical at the same time. I don't know what I'm talking about right now, but yea, have a good day.
Whenever I'm walking or driving, I constantly think of a dozen different "maybe I should do" things, and it's really overwhelming. I've recently began to immediately "show up" to each thing. Is there a TV series I'd been wanting to watch? I'd get up and watch the first episode. Is there a new exercise routine I wanted to try? I'll try a set of each new exercise. If I at least show up to each thing I think of, I think that is the exploratory nature of Se or Ne.
Ooh I love this! I’m not an IFP, I’m an ENFP, but I have so many INFPs close to me. I think this practice would serve them well!
Because when it’s real time, I imagine you allow yourself to make mistakes. I’m like that with Fi as an auxiliary function. While it’s my primary decision making function, I allow myself to just do my best with it, just learn from the Fi mistakes and trust I’ll do my best again in the future.
When you were talking about embodiment of aspects or personalities you experienced. It made me wonder why when people portray villan INFP’s that Sylar from heroes is never used. “I wonder how that works”
Man, I love you ❤️
:)
I did it last week, I went out of my confort zone, trying to make my family closer, and my mom was super mad cause turns out my aunt was a real backstabber who cannot be fixed and I regret everything, but I learned something ayeee
Good job! You took an action to make your family closer because you care about them. You should be proud :)
AND you learned an important dynamic about your family that you didn’t know after however many years you’ve been alive.
AND you’ve also learned that someone (whoever “decided” that your aunt cannot be “fixed”) has believes that people cannot change.
I always do something stupid. well, to people it's stupid but for me it isn't. I learned a lot from those experiences and I wouldn't say I regret doing it cus I strongly feel that those experiences are what made life colourful. I mean, won't it be nice to look back in years ahead and laugh at those silly stupid things that you did. Going with the odds always gives me this indescribable feeling and energy, in a good way. Making mistakes and then learn from it. You'll most probably learn more than you'd expected, like finding out pieces of your identity. it's like... going on a treasure hunt, except the treasure that lies at the end of the journey aren't gold. Instead, they are puzzle pieces of who you are, which, can be equated to gold, or something more precious than that. guess my mbti :p
We have hundreds of connections between everything that causes the feeling we feel, it is so hard to put into words. Until we, sit down and journal that feeling, and really nut it out in our head and on paper, it is really hard to express it in words. Even then, we need to write it down or we lose how to say it.
Two years of Law school made me be in touch with my values and it helped me lot! Maybe studying Law can help with that, just telling in case it helps others as well (infp)
The dominant function is like a lens you see through. Mine is Ni (INFJ). Fi, Ni, Ne, Si, Se, and Fe are all difficult functions to talk about because they are non-worded by nature. Ti and Te are your talking/thinking functions.
Maybe it’s because I’m pretty stubborn & need a strong push to step out and master my core strengths (ie. FI), but I found extremely trying circumstances in my life were the key catalyst to understanding myself/ what I want & to learning to trust myself.
Before some big life storms hit, I was far more of a people pleaser & peacekeeper, which kept me in a space of ignorance to my personal gifts, as well as to my own needs. This may be viewed as a cautionary tale if you’re wise! Please try to push yourself to take an easier way if you are still able to. Either way though, it’s worth the rewards!! Life can be beautiful for infps : ) Love 🧡💛💚
i cant believe how accurate words you found
Its great that i formed my new autonomy breaking out of the structured system
Infp here, i enjoy listening to your videos! ❤
I struggled a lot when I was younger (27 now) bc i grew up in a nurturing asian family, where we were raised with some kind of expectation and (kinda) guided all the way. I bottled up my emotions bc of social pressure and felt like i want to break free, dreamt of one day i will live alone and well on my own feet.
Long story short i got into depression for some years and ended up live with my sister for 2 years, where I decide to make a drastic change in my life. I look for a new job and moved to different island (my country has many) and start a new life with only 2million (about 200 USD), 1 small suitcase, and 1 backpack. Totaly new place with noone I know there. And that's it, that's the turning point of my life. Never have in my life I felt so free and happy ❤