you're gonna be ok.
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- Опубліковано 27 вер 2024
- #pokemon
it's crazy how much pokemon changed my life. it was my first RPG alongside mario and luigi superstar saga, it helped me make so many friends, and it helped me through a severe rough patch in my life
I don't like to say I was "depressed". depression is such a heavy burden millions of people carry and I don't want to insult by throwing this term around like some toy; but man I was going through it fr
after the lockdown restrictions of 2020 lifted a little and I was allowed to go back to school (virtually), all my delusions slowly faded away. I had discarded the idea of living I guess. I was in this miserable cycle of waking up disappointed I was still alive, going go school carrying out the same monotonous tasks, finishing for the day and doing fuck all. there were days where once 2pm hit I would go up to my room and glue myself to my bed and rot away all day, asleep or awake. I had lost motivation for everything I was looking forward to, my grades were plummeting, and more and more bad news was headed my way, making me even more miserable than the day before. I still had a social life I guess, there were people I adored talking to and DMing secrets to. two people specifically I had always looked forward to talking to, in hindsight were kinda keeping me in my sad mindset, but that's a can of worms I don't wanna open. I was living just to live, I didn't want to exist, but I didn't want to die either.
where does pokemon lie in all of this? well, when I was bored in school I would often watch the anime, mostly the seasons pre black and white. I would smile and laugh even though I felt nothing was capable of making me feel happy. when I was done for the day I would open up my blue OG 3ds and play animal crossing new leaf, pokemon platinum, black 2, soul silver, and PMD explorers of sky, occasionally progressing in pokemon emerald. I craved that feeling of leaving on a journey so much. I wanted to just leave and meet new people and learn new things and not be stuck in the house being unappreciated by people around me, or doing some boring essay.
I love Sinnoh and the Johto remake specifically. I love the rocky mountains and the dark forests and the expansive sea. I love the sounds of the energetic music, the subtle sounds of my character's feet hitting the grass, the wind blowing, and the like. I love battling others with my favorites and competitively viable pokemon alike, aiming to be the absolute strongest. gen 4 makes you feel so important, in DPP you singlehandedly defeat a deranged guy trying to hit the reset button on the entire universe, in HGSS not only are you trusted with an incredibly special thing like the Rainbow Wing, but you are trusted by Arceus themself to witness the creation of the universe and choosing between eggs of the gods of time space and distortion. I like that a lot since it's like you're one in a million, a feeling that I didn't get much while spending entire weekends in bed. in BW 2 there's an area called Undella town that doesn't stick out in your mind much when asked not to mention That House, but it sticks out in my mind so damn much because of the music that plays when it's not Summer. it's so hard to describe without forcing you to listen to it by yourself but I would always revisit that beach just to hear the music. it felt like a warm hug telling me things would get better. the anime I was watching, the music that was playing, the world I was exploring? it was all telling me i'd be alright.
it wasn't an overnight realization. it took months for me to realize what my pokemon pals were trying to say to me, but one day in very late 2022 and early 2023 I woke up early by accident. I don't know if it was because of a bad dream or whatever, but I randomly decided to go out to the backyard. I looked up and saw the run rising. the Suburbs are incredibly.... boring so I didn't really get a good view without a couple dozen houses lining the streets blocking the way, but I saw the sun. the sky was slightly purple, and it was freezing. no matter what the sun rises every single day. whether I had a good day or a bad day or an ok day, whatever I had said before or how I felt, the sun had set, and the sun had rose. it was a subtle theming in one of the pokemon movies I think, how we're all living under one moon and sometimes we gotta thug it out, but seeing the sun rise reminded me of that. seeing the next day firsthand was incredible, so I decided to make plans. at first they were pokemon related, like maybe i'd go shiny hunting or learn some niche meta on Showdown, but eventually they became life related. I loved having something to look forward to you know?
I think Summer of 2023 was really when I realized that things always get better, and if you can't find happiness you gotta find your own n shit. you could say that it wasn't pokemon that made me realize and I just realized by myself but I still think pokemon still had a role to play, and i'll always cherish it.
something I couldn't add in the description but real shit I also owe so much to my best friend for putting up with my miserable ass before I locked in and made an effort to change 🙏
she listened to me nerding out about the new smash ultimate dlc at the time and the crazy pokemon strategies I would come up with and even though late 2020-mid 2022 were some of the most lonely and fucked up years of my life so far she stuck around and let me cook when nobody else did so huuuuge shoutouts to @pikavolt_ for also helping me heal 💞
Outstanding 🍑🍑🍑🔥🔥🔥
Thank you😭🙏
not sure how many people paid attention to the description, but I appreciate that you could share it with us. hope you'll eventually find what really matters 💗
For anyone seeing this, read the description. Its very nice to read ❤
"yer doin good lad"
Ya'll are amazing ppl deep inside, I'm well sure of it, all of you just need the push toward a better you! That "push" can be anything really just live life and hopefully soon enough you all can have your push one day, keep hanging in there, life is good I swear but sometimes it do be like that.
you're all are doing great, keep going ❤️
pikachu is the best pokemon :3
115 views in 7 hours Cosmo🌮 fell off
I can't tell if you subscribed because of that shitpost playlist I did a couple weeks ago but I don't usually break the algorithm like that unfortunately 💔
I don't know how tf I'm here, I don't know who you are, or how I found this, but I just wanna say, thank you ❤
Like the good old days ;)
That was a good read. Glad to know you're doing okay, just like we all will. Thank you.
I have never had a description make my cry for real like that ahh Pokémon is truly a gift🙏😭
fr I don't care how much people will suddenly hate pokemon for whatever reason I will defend the DS games to my grave no other rpg series impacted my life this much repeatedly throughout my entire existence
We're all gonna be ok🙏