Thank you for this! I have 6 kids, homeschooled them, and was the homemaker/caretaker/teacher, etc. Always had to make the money stretch and budget. I also love being a mom, but understand how much work it involves and how much of myself I've had to set aside. My husband is also from a different culture that has the man as the head. I totally relate to this video and I've had to do the same thing. My kids are finally old enough to do most things for themselves. I'm on my journey of self discovery, relearning and discovering the things that I like and want to do for me. Thank you for being real and for expressing yourself in such a relatable way. Love your channel. I've been along for the entire journey with you.
We are the same age.. I hear and feel EVERYTHING you’re saying! I tend to go to extreme measures.. I’m running away, divorcing my husband, hiding from the world, screaming from the hilltops, feeling like life has passed me by, feeling used/unappreciated… the list goes on and on!!!! Once I finally got a hold of myself I realized it was just me changing… I’m not the mother of small children anymore, I don’t have to put up with anyone’s sh- t! I’m not defined by my past- dysfunctional family growing up, my early mistakes, and I don’t hate my husband!😂 It’s the new me!! I don’t know her yet, but we are working on the new me! I sort of like her.. I forgive her.. I like her wisdom. Kind of like her wrinkles, and I love her confidence.. let’s find the new us and love her for all she has endured and love those who aren’t sure what the hell is happening with us.. all my love, Ida May😊
Me too! I’ll be 45 in January and realized I still have half my life left so why spend it being miserable. I’ve been improving myself, not holding back just because others in my life are not moving forward. I feel and hope this year will be life changing for the better. ❤
@@IdaMaySmithI was going to quit coloring my hair and just let the gray and silver grow out, but I changed my mind 😂. I'm only 43 and don't look my age and I don't want to age myself lol...also my real hair color is boring and I like it midnight black (I am pale with blue eyes so they pair well).
@@melindaroop1346I changed my mind once. I colored it and the next day I was so upset… so I’m back on the journey of growing it out. It’s for sure not for everyone
That is exactly my situation also. Kids are all grown and moved out on their own. But my husband is the breadwinner, and I have to explain every cent and dollar. But he never has to explain a penny he constantly spends. Mine is a covert narcissist. That is not good. But I too am in my upper 50's. I too am beginning to change inside. I am a late starter. I am trying to find myself again. Trying to find work, after years of being a stay-at-home wife. Unfortunately, we are not a team! He is out for himself only. I would like to be, but I do not have control of that. I am just trying to survive at this point. Survival mode. Thank you, Kate, excellent video topic. I loved where you said, I am not working for him, he is not my employer. I am married to him. That you do not want to be controlled and told what to do about everything. You and I are not five-year-olds. I am feeling the same way,
I looked up the statistics you mentioned on marriage and numerous studies are showing that married women tend to be happier. Psychology Today has an article published "Is Marriage Good or Bad for Women?" It discusses a popular books claims that women are happier unmarried - a book by Lyz Lenz. It's an interesting article that discusses the perspective of Lenz (which seem in line of the statistics you are saying) versus other studies and also possible societal reasons for her claims (abuse, personality disorders, etc..). My marriage isn't anything like what you mentioned. We make decisions together. Sometimes we are the voice of reason for each other. We work as a team. We enjoy each other's company and like to go places together and make our little projects together, like gardening. It isn't all a walk in the park because we have other stressors to battle - finances, kids, aging parents, etc.. and we have different personalities and opinions. But we do come together as friends who respect each other.
What you said about your friend...I know how that is. After my youngest son was born, I changed a lot. Prior to him I was very hardcore; I was a fighter (kickboxing and Jiu-Jitsu) and a trainer and very much a "hard ass" lol. My youngest son softened me so much. He is autistic and when I was pregnant with him, I knew he was special....I say often that he made me a better person. Im only in my early 40s and was in my mid 30s when he was born but as Ive gotten into my 40s, Ive become a different person. I often mourn the old me but I know that Im not that person anymore.
I was widowed at 49, and thrown into single life again after 20 yrs of marriage. I dated for a while after, rediscovering my first love, dating him until he died a couple of years ago. Now my children are grown, and I'm 65. Dating again? Marriage again? No. I'm not willing to give up my late husbands social security. Even dating isn't appealing. Is it hormones? Maybe. I've been out of menopause for 10 yrs. but the symptoms of it still linger and new ones keep appearing. I feel secure, and pretty happy. Financial ducks are in a row. Self care is very important. I take about 11 supplements. I can't stress how important supplements are, especially B Complex. Today I baked mini pies for tomorrow. We are hosting a small group. Happy Thanksgiving Kate🦃 🥰🍃🍂🍁💗✝
Great video. I can relate to everything you are saying. I have lived it. Once women hit 50, something happens to you. You realize life is short and you don't want to spend alot of time doing things you don't want to do. I will be 61 next week, and I feel like my 60s has also been a time of reinventing my self again.
It's so refreshing to see other women my age talking about life after 50+. I remember my grandmother didnt talk every much about how she felt later in life. I always felt she just some how faded away. It's exciting to see women recreating themselves and the crazy levels of creativity they achieve! Im 55 and curious what it looks like reinventing yourself in your 60s. Has your focus changed much?
When you struggle, you sink... but when you surrender, You float. At this age our hormones need to be checked frequently. I was fearful of taking hormones because of the past information, but now new info and research is out and they are very important. If you feel depressed, tired, burned out, gaining weight, night sweats, moody, etc... please find a good Dr. And get your hormones checked, they have changed my life. Even in perimenopause , you could need help.
That’s it damn it….I’m 66 have raised 3 kids, kinda help with grandbabies, and am the sole caregiver for my 90+ year old mother with dementia. Im pooped! I’m going to start saving for a cruise!!!!
I loved hearing your thoughts on marriage. Yes men benefit greatly from marriage. In fact married men are the happiest group and married women are dead last. I was a married full time working Mom and my husband clocked out from work and came home and did absolutely nothing. I was so exhausted. When I finally retired things got even better for him. Meanwhile I felt completely lost and so unhappy. I’ve been a Mother since the age of 21. I had my youngest at age 39. He’s 15 now. I can’t remember a time when I haven’t been taking care of someone else. When you talk about burnout I can totally relate. I love being a Mom. I loved being a wife until I didn’t anymore. I begged him for years to please step up and help but he never did. I sank deeper and deeper into depression. He didn’t seem to notice or care. I didn’t even recognize how toxic our marriage was until I became a widow 4 years ago. It’s only now that I can see things clearly. I wouldn’t recommend marriage to young women now. The saddest thing is that woman are being lead by social media to become trad wives. It feels like we as women are going backwards. I no longer have a desire for homemaker and homesteading channels because I don’t like the narrative they are knowingly or unknowingly pushing on our roles as women. I felt the emotion in your words today. I know Bali and the boys will rally and support you as you have them. Blessings my friend.
I loved the honesty in this video. Enlightenment, evolving, turning point whatever we want to call -I can feel and see your change. Mine happened at 49 years old,( Im 53 now) hard to put into words- but this video shares much of what I felt AND did as well. It's almost as if it becomes IMPOSSIBLE to continue to be in the same role. And no we shouldn't apologize or beg for the life we want to live.
You've raised an excellent point re: customs and traditions of women doing it all- large families, villages, communities vs our westernized homemaker acting alone. In our home I continue a lot of our old family traditions, especially around the holidays but it takes a lot of work. I forget sometimes that those traditions started with my great grandmother who had a very large network of sisters, neighbours and 13 children to help out!! Even with modern conveniences its still a challenge for one person. I just feel we've been 'programed' since birth all these crazy expectations of what is considered normal home, work & family. I love that it's changing and we're questioning all this old social conditioning with the newer generations. I feel like there will be a mens' revolution as they continue to redefine what it means to support and provide for their families. (just a side note: I am woke, and I use the terms women/men in the old way we used to define roles in our social construct.}
Good morning Kate and Molly💕 I’m finally having my first coffee too while watching you ☕️ cheers💛 I give my sweet old girl cbd at night 🐾 🐾 We love our keiki a maka (Kay-kee ah ma-kah) Hawaiian name translates to “child of the eyes” 🐶🩵🩵🩵
I'm 44 and been quite poorly this last year had a bit of cancer and I've changed sooooo much my mind my body who I want round me I've reduced my hours at work I'm a carer and my body can't do it anymore I've been a carer for 27 years since I left school I feel it's time for me now and I'm lucky my husband is so supportive of how I feel I so understood what your saying and I'm definitely trying the hemp oil for my oldest dog bless her thanks Kate your channel keeps me going knowing I'm not the only one who feels like this ❤
Now that I have listened to your whole video I can understand where you are🫶🫶🫶🫶 We are forever changing and growing in the direction we are being led to be🕊️ Old movie but it is relevant. It’s called “Shirley Valentine” I think you’d appreciate it!
Agatha Christy wrote 'a woman has a second blooming around the age of 50'...it's so true! Our culture tries to hide the joy of aging. These years have been the best of my life, I bet when you're 70 you'll look back on the last years of parenting as the best ever.
Good Morning Kate and family! Happy Thanksgiving 🦃 I've got the traders joe and I'm not crazy about it .Once you start drinking Cafe Bustela you go back 😂Very well put on menopause.
My husband is old fashioned too. I stayed home to take the kids while he worked 12/16 hours a week to support us. He made it possible for me to be home and homeschooled our kids. Now in my 50s life is different but he still believes he is the one that is supposed to support me. He doesn't want me out in the work world stressing especially now that i have issues with my heart. The thing with my husband is that i have never had to ask for money or if i could spend it on certain things. He tells me the money he makes is mine too. So for many years i have saved some money because i know how hard he works and has worked. He has truly been good to me and our kids. How did you and your husband meet?
Such an important topic, especially for us woman. We give so much of ourselves away, we finally get to a point in our lives where we don’t recognize ourselves. I’m 48 and have just come out of the darkest, most transformative year of my life. I experienced a “dark night of the soul” where I was forced to do some real soul searching. Thank you for these real talks Kate💜
Everyone should read Jesus Feminist. Its radically beautiful. Jesus firmly put women on equal ground with men time and time again. Jesus thinks women are people, too. 🎉
I can relate!! I’m 49, mom of three now grown children. I became a mom at 18 so for 30+ years that’s what my life revolved around…being a mom! The sacrifices I made, the decisions I made..all for the kids. My youngest is 20 and he’s in college. My husband walked out of our marriage last year (maybe he had a crisis) and it BROKE me 💔. I felt betrayed and never thought he would do that..we were bestfriends! But it also awakened me..I had to find ME!!! Who is Stacey??? I’m still navigating and healing from all that happened last year but I’m in a better place mentally. I do a lot of things on my own…maintaining a home, paying bills, spending time in nature, and just navigating life. I have my dog that depends on me and I think I depend on him some as well to keep me on task 😂😂! Ultimately I want to travel and explore and maybe meet others, things I couldn’t do as a mom/wife! I don’t think I would get remarried because why should I?? ITS MY TIME 🫶🏽🫶🏽
I will be turning 62. Im flabbergasted that Im this old. Im still working and mourning the fact that I cant retire. Honestly, I'm trudging through life whishing that I could retire.
Thank you for this! I have 6 kids, homeschooled them, and was the homemaker/caretaker/teacher, etc. Always had to make the money stretch and budget. I also love being a mom, but understand how much work it involves and how much of myself I've had to set aside. My husband is also from a different culture that has the man as the head. I totally relate to this video and I've had to do the same thing. My kids are finally old enough to do most things for themselves. I'm on my journey of self discovery, relearning and discovering the things that I like and want to do for me. Thank you for being real and for expressing yourself in such a relatable way. Love your channel. I've been along for the entire journey with you.
We are the same age.. I hear and feel EVERYTHING you’re saying! I tend to go to extreme measures.. I’m running away, divorcing my husband, hiding from the world, screaming from the hilltops, feeling like life has passed me by, feeling used/unappreciated… the list goes on and on!!!! Once I finally got a hold of myself I realized it was just me changing… I’m not the mother of small children anymore, I don’t have to put up with anyone’s sh- t! I’m not defined by my past- dysfunctional family growing up, my early mistakes, and I don’t hate my husband!😂 It’s the new me!! I don’t know her yet, but we are working on the new me! I sort of like her.. I forgive her.. I like her wisdom. Kind of like her wrinkles, and I love her confidence.. let’s find the new us and love her for all she has endured and love those who aren’t sure what the hell is happening with us.. all my love, Ida May😊
One more thing… I chose to allow my hair to go gray- not easy for me.. but wow do I feel empowered! It’s like I know who the hell I am!
Me too! I’ll be 45 in January and realized I still have half my life left so why spend it being miserable. I’ve been improving myself, not holding back just because others in my life are not moving forward. I feel and hope this year will be life changing for the better. ❤
@@IdaMaySmithI was going to quit coloring my hair and just let the gray and silver grow out, but I changed my mind 😂. I'm only 43 and don't look my age and I don't want to age myself lol...also my real hair color is boring and I like it midnight black (I am pale with blue eyes so they pair well).
@@jdawg414I love this for you!😊
@@melindaroop1346I changed my mind once. I colored it and the next day I was so upset… so I’m back on the journey of growing it out. It’s for sure not for everyone
That is exactly my situation also. Kids are all grown and moved out on their own. But my husband is the breadwinner, and I have to explain every cent and dollar. But he never has to explain a penny he constantly spends. Mine is a covert narcissist. That is not good. But I too am in my upper 50's. I too am beginning to change inside. I am a late starter. I am trying to find myself again. Trying to find work, after years of being a stay-at-home wife. Unfortunately, we are not a team! He is out for himself only. I would like to be, but I do not have control of that. I am just trying to survive at this point. Survival mode. Thank you, Kate, excellent video topic. I loved where you said, I am not working for him, he is not my employer. I am married to him. That you do not want to be controlled and told what to do about everything. You and I are not five-year-olds. I am feeling the same way,
Amen, I hope you find a new life!
Thank you so much for having this conversation. I started feeling this way in my 40's. Very well said. I completely understand and agree. 🌹❤️
I looked up the statistics you mentioned on marriage and numerous studies are showing that married women tend to be happier. Psychology Today has an article published "Is Marriage Good or Bad for Women?" It discusses a popular books claims that women are happier unmarried - a book by Lyz Lenz. It's an interesting article that discusses the perspective of Lenz (which seem in line of the statistics you are saying) versus other studies and also possible societal reasons for her claims (abuse, personality disorders, etc..). My marriage isn't anything like what you mentioned. We make decisions together. Sometimes we are the voice of reason for each other. We work as a team. We enjoy each other's company and like to go places together and make our little projects together, like gardening. It isn't all a walk in the park because we have other stressors to battle - finances, kids, aging parents, etc.. and we have different personalities and opinions. But we do come together as friends who respect each other.
What you said about your friend...I know how that is. After my youngest son was born, I changed a lot. Prior to him I was very hardcore; I was a fighter (kickboxing and Jiu-Jitsu) and a trainer and very much a "hard ass" lol. My youngest son softened me so much. He is autistic and when I was pregnant with him, I knew he was special....I say often that he made me a better person. Im only in my early 40s and was in my mid 30s when he was born but as Ive gotten into my 40s, Ive become a different person. I often mourn the old me but I know that Im not that person anymore.
We change so much every ten years. You’re still that powerful woman but with a softness now. A kind warrior.❤️❤️
I was widowed at 49, and thrown into single life again after 20 yrs of marriage. I dated for a while after, rediscovering my first love, dating him until he died a couple of years ago. Now my children are grown, and I'm 65. Dating again? Marriage again? No. I'm not willing to give up my late husbands social security. Even dating isn't appealing. Is it hormones? Maybe. I've been out of menopause for 10 yrs. but the symptoms of it still linger and new ones keep appearing. I feel secure, and pretty happy. Financial ducks are in a row. Self care is very important. I take about 11 supplements. I can't stress how important supplements are, especially B Complex. Today I baked mini pies for tomorrow. We are hosting a small group. Happy Thanksgiving Kate🦃 🥰🍃🍂🍁💗✝
Great video. I can relate to everything you are saying. I have lived it. Once women hit 50, something happens to you. You realize life is short and you don't want to spend alot of time doing things you don't want to do. I will be 61 next week, and I feel like my 60s has also been a time of reinventing my self again.
It's so refreshing to see other women my age talking about life after 50+. I remember my grandmother didnt talk every much about how she felt later in life. I always felt she just some how faded away. It's exciting to see women recreating themselves and the crazy levels of creativity they achieve! Im 55 and curious what it looks like reinventing yourself in your 60s. Has your focus changed much?
When you struggle, you sink... but when you surrender, You float. At this age our hormones need to be checked frequently. I was fearful of taking hormones because of the past information, but now new info and research is out and they are very important. If you feel depressed, tired, burned out, gaining weight, night sweats, moody, etc... please find a good Dr. And get your hormones checked, they have changed my life. Even in perimenopause , you could need help.
That’s it damn it….I’m 66 have raised 3 kids, kinda help with grandbabies, and am the sole caregiver for my 90+ year old mother with dementia. Im pooped! I’m going to start saving for a cruise!!!!
🙌🙌🙌🎉🎉🛳️🚢
I love the dose of intelligence I get here! So refreshing!
I loved hearing your thoughts on marriage. Yes men benefit greatly from marriage. In fact married men are the happiest group and married women are dead last. I was a married full time working Mom and my husband clocked out from work and came home and did absolutely nothing. I was so exhausted. When I finally retired things got even better for him. Meanwhile I felt completely lost and so unhappy.
I’ve been a Mother since the age of 21. I had my youngest at age 39. He’s 15 now. I can’t remember a time when I haven’t been taking care of someone else. When you talk about burnout I can totally relate. I love being a Mom. I loved being a wife until I didn’t anymore. I begged him for years to please step up and help but he never did. I sank deeper and deeper into depression. He didn’t seem to notice or care. I didn’t even recognize how toxic our marriage was until I became a widow 4 years ago. It’s only now that I can see things clearly. I wouldn’t recommend marriage to young women now. The saddest thing is that woman are being lead by social media to become trad wives. It feels like we as women are going backwards. I no longer have a desire for homemaker and homesteading channels because I don’t like the narrative they are knowingly or unknowingly pushing on our roles as women.
I felt the emotion in your words today. I know Bali and the boys will rally and support you as you have them.
Blessings my friend.
I’m making a video about this. It resonates with me so much.
I loved the honesty in this video. Enlightenment, evolving, turning point whatever we want to call -I can feel and see your change. Mine happened at 49 years old,( Im 53 now) hard to put into words- but this video shares much of what I felt AND did as well. It's almost as if it becomes IMPOSSIBLE to continue to be in the same role. And no we shouldn't apologize or beg for the life we want to live.
THE MOMMY REVOLTED!! GOOD ON YOU!! STAND YOUR GROUND! Now it is your turn to live your BEST life🎉!!!
👐
You've raised an excellent point re: customs and traditions of women doing it all- large families, villages, communities vs our westernized homemaker acting alone. In our home I continue a lot of our old family traditions, especially around the holidays but it takes a lot of work. I forget sometimes that those traditions started with my great grandmother who had a very large network of sisters, neighbours and 13 children to help out!! Even with modern conveniences its still a challenge for one person. I just feel we've been 'programed' since birth all these crazy expectations of what is considered normal home, work & family. I love that it's changing and we're questioning all this old social conditioning with the newer generations. I feel like there will be a mens' revolution as they continue to redefine what it means to support and provide for their families. (just a side note: I am woke, and I use the terms women/men in the old way we used to define roles in our social construct.}
This is interesting, please go more into the men’s revolution?
Life is a glorious journey. Always expanding Always changing.❤
Good morning Kate and Molly💕 I’m finally having my first coffee too while watching you ☕️ cheers💛
I give my sweet old girl cbd at night 🐾 🐾 We love our keiki a maka (Kay-kee ah ma-kah) Hawaiian name translates to “child of the eyes” 🐶🩵🩵🩵
I really love the longer videos ❤ they are a great accompaniment to whatever I am doing and I love listening to you talking 🥰❤️
Glad you like them!
Cheers Kate! 100% what you said! 🎉
I'm 44 and been quite poorly this last year had a bit of cancer and I've changed sooooo much my mind my body who I want round me I've reduced my hours at work I'm a carer and my body can't do it anymore I've been a carer for 27 years since I left school I feel it's time for me now and I'm lucky my husband is so supportive of how I feel I so understood what your saying and I'm definitely trying the hemp oil for my oldest dog bless her thanks Kate your channel keeps me going knowing I'm not the only one who feels like this ❤
Now that I have listened to your whole video I can understand where you are🫶🫶🫶🫶 We are forever changing and growing in the direction we are being led to be🕊️
Old movie but it is relevant. It’s called “Shirley Valentine” I think you’d appreciate it!
I love that movie. I saw it as a play. Actually a monologue. Wonderful!
Agatha Christy wrote 'a woman has a second blooming around the age of 50'...it's so true! Our culture tries to hide the joy of aging. These years have been the best of my life, I bet when you're 70 you'll look back on the last years of parenting as the best ever.
I believe so.
That study is correct. That’s why some want to be single.
💛
Good Morning Kate and family! Happy Thanksgiving 🦃 I've got the traders joe and I'm not crazy about it .Once you start drinking Cafe Bustela you go back 😂Very well put on menopause.
Happy holidays!
My husband is old fashioned too. I stayed home to take the kids while he worked 12/16 hours a week to support us. He made it possible for me to be home and homeschooled our kids. Now in my 50s life is different but he still believes he is the one that is supposed to support me. He doesn't want me out in the work world stressing especially now that i have issues with my heart. The thing with my husband is that i have never had to ask for money or if i could spend it on certain things. He tells me the money he makes is mine too. So for many years i have saved some money because i know how hard he works and has worked. He has truly been good to me and our kids.
How did you and your husband meet?
This is how it should be. Thank you for sharing a healthy model.
Love this!
Such an important topic, especially for us woman. We give so much of ourselves away, we finally get to a point in our lives where we don’t recognize ourselves. I’m 48 and have just come out of the darkest, most transformative year of my life. I experienced a “dark night of the soul” where I was forced to do some real soul searching. Thank you for these real talks Kate💜
Everyone should read Jesus Feminist. Its radically beautiful. Jesus firmly put women on equal ground with men time and time again. Jesus thinks women are people, too. 🎉
Good evening ❤
First ever! Hi from SC.🏝
Hello there!
I can relate!! I’m 49, mom of three now grown children. I became a mom at 18 so for 30+ years that’s what my life revolved around…being a mom! The sacrifices I made, the decisions I made..all for the kids. My youngest is 20 and he’s in college. My husband walked out of our marriage last year (maybe he had a crisis) and it BROKE me 💔. I felt betrayed and never thought he would do that..we were bestfriends! But it also awakened me..I had to find ME!!! Who is Stacey??? I’m still navigating and healing from all that happened last year but I’m in a better place mentally. I do a lot of things on my own…maintaining a home, paying bills, spending time in nature, and just navigating life. I have my dog that depends on me and I think I depend on him some as well to keep me on task 😂😂! Ultimately I want to travel and explore and maybe meet others, things I couldn’t do as a mom/wife! I don’t think I would get remarried because why should I?? ITS MY TIME 🫶🏽🫶🏽
It is YOU time and take it with both hands and have some fun and live it up a bit!
@ THANK YOU!!
I will be turning 62. Im flabbergasted that Im this old. Im still working and mourning the fact that I cant retire. Honestly, I'm trudging through life whishing that I could retire.