I’m a 24 US male and I have not had a girlfriend. I’m definitely suffering from “wanting a girlfriend for the sake of having a girlfriend,” especially because it just wouldn’t make sense for me since I’m in college going off to grad school. It doesn’t make the random bouts of sadness, loneliness and existential worry any less intense though. Yesterday I silently cried while waiting to cross the street after my date canceled (we mutually agreed that she was just too busy). I really enjoyed this podcast though, it’s nice to be reminded that it’s a shared experience and not EVERYBODY ELSE has had 3-4 boy/girlfriends by this point. Cheers, newly subscribed :)
I’m 30 and never had a relationship before. I was always the outcast growing up, because I have high-functioning autism, which has many times brought out a socially awkward side of me. Because dating these days is toxically and outrageously infested by hypergamy mindsets…….well……..just by that information you can guess why I’ve not had any luck. In fact, I’ve learned the wrong things things that I need to stay away because I’m not wanted. It’s gotten better in friendship settings ever since I started college, but people are still not mature to handle me. They are more like “You’re handsome, but the autism is a dealbreaker for me” kind of people; they in other words have still much growing up to do, but this time it’s in a way in which people never grow up in. Even their parents are not open-minded and say, “I don’t want you dating someone who’s autistic! They are a burden in relationships than they are otherwise! Nor do I want my children to be given autism!” People have even told me, “Why would you ever biologically have children instead of adopting?! You’d be a selfish father for giving your children the curse of autism! Adopt only, or else you’re a horrible person!” It’s evil to talk to me that way! It’s just as messed up as saying “Black people shouldn’t be allowed to live in desirable homes. That should only be for the whites. Black people are breaking the law for being allowed such privileges.” And yes, especially back in the even more racist times of fifty to seventy years ago, such arguments were made by evil racist people who said good is bad and bad is good like that; when telling me I’d be a terrible father for biologically having children, it’s just as evil all the same because it’s still gaslighting similarly as saying good is bad and bad is good. (I’m not black, but I still point these things out! Even racism still exists today, but not as firmly, which we need to treat carefully because racism seems to be rising once again.) Again someone’s race, it’s racism. Against someone’s autism, it’s ableism. In the situation of those in the spectrum, people may not be too ableist to be friends with someone on the spectrum, but they still too often are too ableist to think of giving even the most high-functioning autistics a chance! Even their parents could be too apathetic against the idea, in which case they will scare their naive children into staying away from any autistics in the dating realm. They are so prejudiced if they do this, because they ignorantly feel like being with someone who is autistic romantically isn’t…..”practical.” That further proves my point on their ableism because that is how they feel. They may even feel like “all autistics have crazy outbursts” or whatever else they may generalize about autistics. Even if the parents feel like it’s ok if their children dates someone with autism, their adult children might still not be mature enough to be open minded in giving autistics a chance, and will try to come up all kinds of ludicrous excuses. People often just like being hypergamy-minded, being very self-centered. People may ask why this is not addressed so often. It’s because these ableist behaviors are done and expressed so covertly! Like how racist people nowadays are covertly racist. It’s because they don’t want to let people find out they are racist, ableist or whatever “-ists” there are out there! So yeah, covertly they do these things. They will deny it and even gaslight if you call them out on their prejudices. Whatever “-ists” there are out there, I feel like there needs to be a change for the better, which means getting rid of what influences people to become the “ists” or prejudices that are out there! As a man with autism who has experienced these things, where people even denied they were denying me chances when they were, and also seeing other autistics having gone through the same things and their oppressors just kept denying they were doing hurtful things to them and even went on as to gaslight the autistics were the ones that did something hurtful to them (hence lying about the autistic individuals) when said autistic individuals had not done any such things to them, I know quite a bit of the unfairness and how people can be better than this and should be better than this! I feel like there needs to be another push for better change. This is why I write this. Because of how covertly these prejudices are done or expressed, many good people out there often miss recognizing the prejudiced behaviors for the prejudices they are, which makes it hard for the good people to realize they are being gaslighted when they are. With this said, I also call out to the good people out there to keep their eyes more open and more aware of these circumstances, because more often than not these prejudices are everywhere! Good people could be right next to a racist, ableist or what other prejudices there are out there!
I 100% agree and relate to everything you said Soph! I'm also 24 and never had a boyfriend and it's great to hear someone who thinks exactly like me. Especially the last question, I want a boyfriend if he's someone great and compatible, but not for the sake of just having one and destroying my peace lol. This is the first episode I came across, so will be sure to check out more!
"Compatible" here meaning top 0.1%. It's hilarious seeing this start to affect women now. You collectively spent the last two decades destroying men in every way for your own benefits, now you can't find enough men who are good enough. Can't have it both ways, you reap what you sow I guess.
I’m a 23 year old girlie from Japan, and never had a boyfriend. Hearing Soph's stories, I really relate to you. For me as well, I haven't felt the strong genuine feeling of "I want this person to be my partner". Although I do like talking about love life with my friends, I never felt the need to make a boyfriend. My friends always tell me that I am a healthy single and I really agree haha It was my first time hearing your talk, but I really love how you guys are sweet and genuine💞All the best:)
20s are the time to find love. Learning how to find love. Don't be like me and regret not trying in your 20s only to be doing this in your 30s. My biggest regret is not chasing women in my 20s. 30s are supposed to be when you settled down. I'm just getting started SMH🤦
I'm 27F and also never had a boyfriend. My reasons are basically the same as hers, although I also have a chronic GI disease making it even more complicated for me. I think she described it very eloquently. I'm actually quite happy being single, but what bothers me the most is how it makes me "abnormal" or "weird" in other people's eyes. They don't say it directly to my face, but you can feel it and hear it indirectly.
I watch one about a 30 year old yesterday so now this was recommended. My only advice is to put yourself out there meeting and socializing with opposite sex. As long as they are on their way to something you should be fine
As a guy, it's more attractive that you've never had a boyfriend. I'm 23 and from the uk; I'm the same but I don't wanna be in a relationship till I'm fully secure in my career which i'm well on my way right now. No need to entertain other people when you're not ready, our culture doesn't make that easy though. I admire that you have chosen to delay that choice, someone will really appreciate you for that.
It’s nice to be reminded that it can be a positive for some people because most of the time it can feel like I’m behind or unable to talk about these topics in the same way as my friends can, but I try to stay positive and remember some people really won’t care
@@kiera_klark8171 I think we all have our own timelines, every person values different things. Whilst I thinks it’s unrealistic in this day and age for someone to never have been with anyone, in my eyes it’s a bonus because it shows selectiveness and self worth. Do things on your own accord, don’t follow others. It’s all about the type of person you’re after, me personally I think it’s more attractive that you’ve waited whilst someone else could find that alarming, it does depend on personality a lot imo
Omg I agree, I saw a video that mentioned women think it's a red flag when a man never had a girlfriend. I commented that for me it's a green one, and some guys were surprised and asked me why. I think people might want someone with similar experience with relationships
I'm 24 as well and really wish I could be in a relationship. I'm also in the situation where no one I like likes me back. I'd settle for anyone I'm even remotely attracted to. I feel like there is something wrong with me that makes me unattractive and I'll probably be single for life. I don't know how it's so easy for other people.
You look great tho and are modestly dressed, which i dont see a lot in girls my age. Maybe its because your introverted? Im introverted too 😊 I really dont like going out to parties and talking with vapid girls, i like to get to know people on a one-to-one level. I think you probably agree?
@@oldmanjinkinsskyrim737 it's not a photo of me but thank you for the comment. I am quite introverted but I socialise almost every day and meet strangers at social groups all of the time.
Thanks for sharing your story, I enjoyed that💕. BTW you are gorgeous Soph, fearfully and wonderfully made! A princess of the Most High, trust in His timing🙌🏿
I’m 23 and I have yet to have a boyfriend. I tried dating apps but I feel they’re the only option for dating. I just wish I could meet someone who I feel attracted to. For years, I felt like I missed out on experiences but at the same time I always felt nervous to get close to someone mainly because of my worst social experiences when I was a kid. But I just wish that finding someone would be easier for me and not be scary. I’m also very skeptical about who to trust.
That's right, it's not just you :) Majority of women have had their expectations and mindset warped beyond repair by social media. Sorry that there aren't enough 6'4 millionaire male models to go around.
I don't even know where that dumb ass idea came from, but it sure as hell wasn't from REAL women that aren't Instagram addicted girls...stop believing that women are all superficial like that
im mad at the fact that i can never meet people like you so i can say "ive never dated anyone" and she says back "me too" do you wanna have one? so i can say YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES
have you never had a boyfriend or have you never been on a date ? you youngster are lucky to have youtube to tell you its not just you. I was about her age deeply ashamed of my inexperience and afraid people would laugh at me to the point where I made a mistake at my job because I was depression. now you will say for adults it wouldn't laugh etc but I had a single mother coworker who sensed it and roasted me about it
Comment: It's simple because you two guys are studying at College. Love will come at the appropriate time. You need your degree and your job in order to move forward. Have patience. July 21, 2024. USA
I’m 24 and never been in a relationship. I don’t go to clubs or bars, I don’t do hook up culture. I go to the gym, play basketball with my friends, I like skateboarding and hanging out with my friends. But I’m still ignored by woman. I’ve realized if u ain’t a bad boy or fit the bad boy stereotype be expected to be ignored completely by woman. If you’re an old soul, be expected to be ignored by woman. They want excitement, and if u can’t do that for them, they don’t want u. Woman choose to be single, men can’t.
Ehh… I guarantee you not all women are into “bad boys” lol. Try hanging out with different types of people to see who they attract. Your environment (skate park) right now attracts excitement seeking people and the gym is not usually a place where women want to be approached.
@@Lena_raly to be honest I would never approach at a gym. I’m there to workout, I just said that cuz girls say they like people with hobbies. But the majority of woman are into bad boys tho, so if u ain’t one your chances go down a bit
@@Shaun_J Idk the type of women you’re hanging around but the women I know, including myself, do not like bad boys lol. If you mean men that lead, are assertive and have boundaries, then of course they attract a lot of women. The majority of women. That doesn’t mean he’s a player or “bad.” But if you mean literally a player type of guy that does wild activities then he usually attracts women that are similar to him, and Idk if you’d want that type of person in your life.
I’m a 24 US male and I have not had a girlfriend. I’m definitely suffering from “wanting a girlfriend for the sake of having a girlfriend,” especially because it just wouldn’t make sense for me since I’m in college going off to grad school. It doesn’t make the random bouts of sadness, loneliness and existential worry any less intense though. Yesterday I silently cried while waiting to cross the street after my date canceled (we mutually agreed that she was just too busy). I really enjoyed this podcast though, it’s nice to be reminded that it’s a shared experience and not EVERYBODY ELSE has had 3-4 boy/girlfriends by this point.
Cheers, newly subscribed :)
I’m 30 and never had a relationship before. I was always the outcast growing up, because I have high-functioning autism, which has many times brought out a socially awkward side of me. Because dating these days is toxically and outrageously infested by hypergamy mindsets…….well……..just by that information you can guess why I’ve not had any luck. In fact, I’ve learned the wrong things things that I need to stay away because I’m not wanted. It’s gotten better in friendship settings ever since I started college, but people are still not mature to handle me. They are more like “You’re handsome, but the autism is a dealbreaker for me” kind of people; they in other words have still much growing up to do, but this time it’s in a way in which people never grow up in. Even their parents are not open-minded and say, “I don’t want you dating someone who’s autistic! They are a burden in relationships than they are otherwise! Nor do I want my children to be given autism!” People have even told me, “Why would you ever biologically have children instead of adopting?! You’d be a selfish father for giving your children the curse of autism! Adopt only, or else you’re a horrible person!” It’s evil to talk to me that way! It’s just as messed up as saying “Black people shouldn’t be allowed to live in desirable homes. That should only be for the whites. Black people are breaking the law for being allowed such privileges.” And yes, especially back in the even more racist times of fifty to seventy years ago, such arguments were made by evil racist people who said good is bad and bad is good like that; when telling me I’d be a terrible father for biologically having children, it’s just as evil all the same because it’s still gaslighting similarly as saying good is bad and bad is good. (I’m not black, but I still point these things out! Even racism still exists today, but not as firmly, which we need to treat carefully because racism seems to be rising once again.)
Again someone’s race, it’s racism. Against someone’s autism, it’s ableism. In the situation of those in the spectrum, people may not be too ableist to be friends with someone on the spectrum, but they still too often are too ableist to think of giving even the most high-functioning autistics a chance! Even their parents could be too apathetic against the idea, in which case they will scare their naive children into staying away from any autistics in the dating realm. They are so prejudiced if they do this, because they ignorantly feel like being with someone who is autistic romantically isn’t…..”practical.” That further proves my point on their ableism because that is how they feel. They may even feel like “all autistics have crazy outbursts” or whatever else they may generalize about autistics. Even if the parents feel like it’s ok if their children dates someone with autism, their adult children might still not be mature enough to be open minded in giving autistics a chance, and will try to come up all kinds of ludicrous excuses. People often just like being hypergamy-minded, being very self-centered.
People may ask why this is not addressed so often. It’s because these ableist behaviors are done and expressed so covertly! Like how racist people nowadays are covertly racist. It’s because they don’t want to let people find out they are racist, ableist or whatever “-ists” there are out there! So yeah, covertly they do these things. They will deny it and even gaslight if you call them out on their prejudices.
Whatever “-ists” there are out there, I feel like there needs to be a change for the better, which means getting rid of what influences people to become the “ists” or prejudices that are out there! As a man with autism who has experienced these things, where people even denied they were denying me chances when they were, and also seeing other autistics having gone through the same things and their oppressors just kept denying they were doing hurtful things to them and even went on as to gaslight the autistics were the ones that did something hurtful to them (hence lying about the autistic individuals) when said autistic individuals had not done any such things to them, I know quite a bit of the unfairness and how people can be better than this and should be better than this!
I feel like there needs to be another push for better change. This is why I write this. Because of how covertly these prejudices are done or expressed, many good people out there often miss recognizing the prejudiced behaviors for the prejudices they are, which makes it hard for the good people to realize they are being gaslighted when they are. With this said, I also call out to the good people out there to keep their eyes more open and more aware of these circumstances, because more often than not these prejudices are everywhere! Good people could be right next to a racist, ableist or what other prejudices there are out there!
I 100% agree and relate to everything you said Soph! I'm also 24 and never had a boyfriend and it's great to hear someone who thinks exactly like me. Especially the last question, I want a boyfriend if he's someone great and compatible, but not for the sake of just having one and destroying my peace lol. This is the first episode I came across, so will be sure to check out more!
"Compatible" here meaning top 0.1%. It's hilarious seeing this start to affect women now. You collectively spent the last two decades destroying men in every way for your own benefits, now you can't find enough men who are good enough. Can't have it both ways, you reap what you sow I guess.
I’m a 23 year old girlie from Japan, and never had a boyfriend. Hearing Soph's stories, I really relate to you. For me as well, I haven't felt the strong genuine feeling of "I want this person to be my partner". Although I do like talking about love life with my friends, I never felt the need to make a boyfriend. My friends always tell me that I am a healthy single and I really agree haha It was my first time hearing your talk, but I really love how you guys are sweet and genuine💞All the best:)
🫶🫶🫶
20s are the time to find love. Learning how to find love. Don't be like me and regret not trying in your 20s only to be doing this in your 30s. My biggest regret is not chasing women in my 20s. 30s are supposed to be when you settled down. I'm just getting started SMH🤦
I'm 27F and also never had a boyfriend. My reasons are basically the same as hers, although I also have a chronic GI disease making it even more complicated for me. I think she described it very eloquently. I'm actually quite happy being single, but what bothers me the most is how it makes me "abnormal" or "weird" in other people's eyes. They don't say it directly to my face, but you can feel it and hear it indirectly.
I watch one about a 30 year old yesterday so now this was recommended. My only advice is to put yourself out there meeting and socializing with opposite sex. As long as they are on their way to something you should be fine
As a guy, it's more attractive that you've never had a boyfriend. I'm 23 and from the uk; I'm the same but I don't wanna be in a relationship till I'm fully secure in my career which i'm well on my way right now. No need to entertain other people when you're not ready, our culture doesn't make that easy though. I admire that you have chosen to delay that choice, someone will really appreciate you for that.
It’s nice to be reminded that it can be a positive for some people because most of the time it can feel like I’m behind or unable to talk about these topics in the same way as my friends can, but I try to stay positive and remember some people really won’t care
@@kiera_klark8171 I think we all have our own timelines, every person values different things. Whilst I thinks it’s unrealistic in this day and age for someone to never have been with anyone, in my eyes it’s a bonus because it shows selectiveness and self worth. Do things on your own accord, don’t follow others. It’s all about the type of person you’re after, me personally I think it’s more attractive that you’ve waited whilst someone else could find that alarming, it does depend on personality a lot imo
No the Phuk it isn’t g
@@misterjay4347 if you wanna date a girl that’s been about, you do you bro. I have more respect for myself than that.
Omg I agree, I saw a video that mentioned women think it's a red flag when a man never had a girlfriend. I commented that for me it's a green one, and some guys were surprised and asked me why. I think people might want someone with similar experience with relationships
I'm 24 as well and really wish I could be in a relationship. I'm also in the situation where no one I like likes me back. I'd settle for anyone I'm even remotely attracted to. I feel like there is something wrong with me that makes me unattractive and I'll probably be single for life. I don't know how it's so easy for other people.
You look great tho and are modestly dressed, which i dont see a lot in girls my age. Maybe its because your introverted? Im introverted too 😊 I really dont like going out to parties and talking with vapid girls, i like to get to know people on a one-to-one level. I think you probably agree?
@@oldmanjinkinsskyrim737 it's not a photo of me but thank you for the comment. I am quite introverted but I socialise almost every day and meet strangers at social groups all of the time.
23 almost 24 and it makes me feel some relief i'm not the only one who hasn't dated anyone in their 20's.
I had my first real relationship around 20. It was very late for my friend circle but some of us just need their time, so take your time!
I love this show. Great stuff ladies!
thanks so much!!!
Thanks for sharing your story, I enjoyed that💕. BTW you are gorgeous Soph, fearfully and wonderfully made! A princess of the Most High, trust in His timing🙌🏿
❤️❤️❤️
I’m 23 and I have yet to have a boyfriend. I tried dating apps but I feel they’re the only option for dating. I just wish I could meet someone who I feel attracted to. For years, I felt like I missed out on experiences but at the same time I always felt nervous to get close to someone mainly because of my worst social experiences when I was a kid. But I just wish that finding someone would be easier for me and not be scary. I’m also very skeptical about who to trust.
I had my first boyfriend at 22 .Love comes when you are not expecting it
That's right, it's not just you :) Majority of women have had their expectations and mindset warped beyond repair by social media. Sorry that there aren't enough 6'4 millionaire male models to go around.
I don't even know where that dumb ass idea came from, but it sure as hell wasn't from REAL women that aren't Instagram addicted girls...stop believing that women are all superficial like that
We do like to hear about the random rambling ❤❤❤ makes it much more real :)))
thank you for this ❤❤ i really related to it and enjoyed the insights
Always look forward to new episode :) I love the contents as a text of English and enjoy the talking two of you!
Love from Japan🥰
im mad at the fact that i can never meet people like you so i can say "ive never dated anyone" and she says back "me too" do you wanna have one? so i can say YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES
I’m almost 37. Beat that.
I only leave the shower head on the wall when I'm being lazy haha
Why?
have you never had a boyfriend or have you never been on a date ?
you youngster are lucky to have youtube to tell you its not just you. I was about her age deeply ashamed of my inexperience and afraid people would laugh at me to the point where I made a mistake at my job because I was depression. now you will say for adults it wouldn't laugh etc but I had a single mother coworker who sensed it and roasted me about it
Hand held 💯
i love you babe.
Comment: It's simple because you two guys are studying at College. Love will come at the appropriate time. You need your degree and your job in order to move forward. Have patience. July 21, 2024. USA
😢😅why do we need our degree and job first tho lol?
MY FAVVVVVVV
I’m 24 and never been in a relationship. I don’t go to clubs or bars, I don’t do hook up culture. I go to the gym, play basketball with my friends, I like skateboarding and hanging out with my friends. But I’m still ignored by woman. I’ve realized if u ain’t a bad boy or fit the bad boy stereotype be expected to be ignored completely by woman. If you’re an old soul, be expected to be ignored by woman. They want excitement, and if u can’t do that for them, they don’t want u. Woman choose to be single, men can’t.
Women aren't a monolith. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you'll find someone.
@@honeychill3011 easier said then done.
Ehh… I guarantee you not all women are into “bad boys” lol. Try hanging out with different types of people to see who they attract. Your environment (skate park) right now attracts excitement seeking people and the gym is not usually a place where women want to be approached.
@@Lena_raly to be honest I would never approach at a gym. I’m there to workout, I just said that cuz girls say they like people with hobbies. But the majority of woman are into bad boys tho, so if u ain’t one your chances go down a bit
@@Shaun_J Idk the type of women you’re hanging around but the women I know, including myself, do not like bad boys lol. If you mean men that lead, are assertive and have boundaries, then of course they attract a lot of women. The majority of women. That doesn’t mean he’s a player or “bad.” But if you mean literally a player type of guy that does wild activities then he usually attracts women that are similar to him, and Idk if you’d want that type of person in your life.
1ST🇰🇷