D&D Players, What is the dumbest thing you’ve seen a player do #3
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- Опубліковано 24 сер 2024
- What is the dumbest thing you’ve seen a player do #3
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D&D players, what way did you use a "useless" spell in a good way? #2
D&D Players, What was your best "Wait...what?!" moment?
What's the biggest mind-f**k you've seen during a DND campaign?
What's your worst loot stories?
What's the saddest death that you have ever encountered while playing D&D?
What's the funniest way you spoiled a important plot element in your campaign?
DND players, what was your funniest “rolled a 1” moment?
DMs, What is a plotline you've always wanted to run?
Ever had another PC kill your character?
DND Players, What is the coolest character you have ever played?
DND players, what was your funniest “nat 20” moment? (r/askreddit)
DND players, what’s your best Stories of Rope? (r/dndstories)
D&D Players, what's the most screwed up thing you've ever done in a game?
What's the worst TPK you've experienced?
D&D Players, what's the most screwed up thing you've ever done in a game?
DND Nope Moments #1
What’s your best Tarrasque story?
What's the funniest thing PC's latched onto?
What is the most unexpected damage you've ever done as a PC or DM?
What is the smallest way your DM has driven home how "evil" a villain is?
Had a player in a non dnd game actually use the phrase, "I'd like to roll for a good idea." he then commenced to botch. I gave him *an* idea that was clearly the worst thing he could do. So he did it, and ended up setting fire to a movie theater.
That not an actually dumb thing to do. It's a matter of the character's roleplay. I'd say that player should get an extra slice of pizza.
@@serban031 that is a fair point.
The fact that he went through with it knowing it was a bad idea but he rolled low tells me hes an excellent player
This would be great for a low intelligence character
As a dumb person, I must admit it's really hard to role play a smart person, as I am sometime like to do ...
Ours was a variation on "I didn't ask how big the room is, I said I cast fireball!"
We were fighting the BBEG of a small campaign, a town mayor who a turned out to be a demon.
We had managed to paralyze it with Hold Monster or something, and everyone in the party was surrounding it, just wailing on it.
Until the wizard's turn came up and he said "I cast fireball".
On the demon.
Which is immune to fire.
Surrounded by everyone else in the party.
I swear if I didn't know any better I'd think they were in cahoots.
Might have been sometimes the player and the DM will arrange stuff like this
@@nathanfreeman8250 Considering that, 20 years later, the DM still facepalms anytime a player says "I cast fireball" (with a particular inflection), I doubt it was.
Had players kick a door for 4 rounds it was a dc 10 to open. Noone wanted to take 10..... than one cast fireball into the awaited ambush of fire breathing/ resistance potion kolbolds that had lined the door entrance with fresh oil. Even after having two party members roll dex saves to avoid slipping. Almost a TPK. So a party of four 5th level adventures had to run away from 4 kolbolds......
@@HughMorris69 as a forever dm...... That sounds like a very shitty thing to do to your players. Nice meta gaming against the players their. Like wow. Your the type of dm to beat the shit out of his party and wonder why they aren't having fun in a game where they can never win. Kobolds with resistance potions fire breathing AND a perfect counter to what the wizard was doing. Fucking shame on you. Let you player BE COOL. It's there story. Let them win and let them have good memories.
@@HughMorris69 like not asking a perception check to see the obvious oil greased along the seems. It's obvious what you are doing. Your a power DM.
Character touched an item that did a f*ck tone of raident damage to them and only barely didn't kill them because they succeeded on the save.
They were healed by another party member to half hit points, they then touched it again and died instantly.
"HEi, IF ANYONE HERE IS GONA BE THE STEWPID ONE, ITS GONA BE ME!"
Nobody kills me but me!
Was it an evil alligned character touching a Book of Exhalted deeds?
🙄😂
I didn’t know Patrick was in the game, lol.
Sounds like the black cabin in rime of the frost maiden. I’d know. Our cleric was disintegrated by it
Okay. So...one of my players in 40K is an animal fan, with animal handling, so I decided to do something silly...
I had her face off against a pack of Khornate Hellhounds, and Karanak, the Hound of Khorne, who is Helluva strong...
At which point she RUSHED FORWARDS AND CHALLENGED THE LEADER TO SINGLE COMBAT.
She is NOT a combat fighter.
Then she proceeded to nail her roll, look at, and point that since it has three heads, she gets two friends. So it's 3 on 3.
...She. Beat. The. Damn. THing. And it was ONE roll from KOing her.
So...she's an idiot...or a genius. I don't know which!
Genius imo. Khorne is big on honor and all that. The fact that she could convince that she should have 2 extra help is brilliant
Charging at it is questionable though, instead of something more formal
@@Aaa-bi8ly NOT FOR THE BLOOD GOD IT ISN'T
I was a gnome wizard. There was a river of lava stopping us from the BBEG who was 1v1 against a party member.
I told the barbarian to throw me. 'You have to toss me!'
Barbarian rolled a 4. I took 10d10 dmg.
Oh that was also my first session in that campaign. My gnome wizard lived for an hour.
No regrets
That is as embarrassing a consequence of “Throw Me!” as the Half-Faerie Sorceress that asked the Warforged Fighter to do it at the guy in a doorway on another tower. There she is, speeding through the air with her spear sticking forward…and sinking straight into the door he had slammed. She then hit the door, hard enough that she was on a single hit point.
Luckily he was more interested in getting away than finishing her off.
The dm was the dumb one in that last story. Other magically items that have similar consequences have to straight up go into each other. Something that is impossible to do on accident. Meanwhile these two things, from hundreds of feet away, barely face each other and the entire city is annihilated by “an infinite amount of glass”. Why? Why even roll damage and why would it be a measly 20d6 if it an infinite reality warping nuke. If he rolled 20 1s or a ton of very low rolls apparently the party could have survived that. The fact that it even just instantly kills literally the entire campaign is already the dumb part, but every part about it is dumb.
yeah, not *_ALL_* TPKs are the choice of the DM, but this one definitely was.
I agree the DM wanted a TPK, but according to the story he rolled 20d6 twice for the damage, max level characters would have issue surviving that and perhaps he simply liked the possibility of it being survivable.
But him seeing the first possible opportunity to roll that damage is what's wonky. Rogue is down on the street, ranger on the building, that the angle was right for the mirrors to line up despite all the variables such as slight angle changes and the rogue in the way of the mirror, the direction the rogue was even facing, is being a bit adversarial. I would've at least rolled luck first, 3 or below and bob's your uncle, something like that, since they were warned about it and facing the mirror that way was reckless.
@@knutandersson4606 But why even have it be a mechanic in the first place. There are many magical items in dnd that allow distance communication. None of them instantly kill the entire party. And with items that do punish players like this they 1) usually send them somewhere, not instantly kill them 2) require a vastly more difficult scenario. Plus there’s a reason bags of holding have their weakness. It prevents bag of holding stacking, since that would make carrying thousands of items only be 15 pounds.
The communication having this limitation is insane.
Also I didn’t notice he said 20d6 twice, who won’t say 40d6 like a normal person. Ignoring that rolling for damage is the dumb part in and of itself there.
@@videogameunderappreciateda8174 Playing devil's advocate for the scenario, it might be his sadistic little way of punishing players for splitting up repeatedly.
A worse reason that I at first considered was that he maybe just wanted a reason to roll The Bucket™ or whatever they called it, because when else will you need to roll that many dice? Twinned spell 9th level Fireball?
But I absolutely see your point, just give em sending stones for crying out loud
@@knutandersson4606 He gave them two mirrors, so this kind of encouraged splitting up from the start.
I was playing a Dragonfire Adept in 3.5. He was also a pyromaniac who could breath fire. So, the party is at this tower of mages and the like. He's off doing his own thing while the others go advance plot. He comes across the stables, and there's a big pile of all sorts of flammable objects. manure, paint, paint thinner, the works. Best part, the DM just cuts away to the rest of the party as they talk to this person, get a few magic items (including Bullets of Wonder). After a few moments though, the entire tower shakes. And this isn't a small tower. Oh no. This is more of a "Hogwarts, but it's all in one tower" kind of place. A little bit later, my character arrives, singed, 1 hp, and he walked up over ten flights of stairs saying a simple, monotone "ow" with every step.
Had a player try to pull a dire hummingbirds beak out of his neck. Fumbled, and ended up smacking it in deeper.
You had me laughing with the Dire Hummingbird. Trying to imagine a Dire Hummingbird is really funny.
Explain what a dire of hummingbirds is.
Dire hummingbird? Okay, I NEED to know the context here 😂
Task failed successfully
Ummm, is this a stupid idea ? Or simply a really bad roll ?
What is the dumbest thing I've seen a player do? Easy, not prepare and finish his character sheet for session 1.
this broke me as a dm and it took me 6 months to reconsider doing such things again (for me dming is a really nice thing i want to do for others but it takes a huge toll on my brain as its like piloting a plane not simply peddling a bike like it is for others) now i have a HARD sheets limit before sessions begin
You’re supposed to use a character sheet?
We had a couple of these, but they were brand new to dnd and needed help.
Try not finishing it until session 6
that happens every session at our table that's why we have a session 0 now
That would be gunning down a thief that had just stolen this characters illegal alcohol. In the middle of the day. In the middle of town. And asking about whether hand crossbows could deal non-lethal damage after having sunken two shots into said thieves back.
The moment he realized how badly he'd just fucked up he got a lot smarter though. Switched the barrels with ones filled with pickled olives and rolled stupid high to convince the captain of the guard that he'd just gunned down someone over a bunch of olives. That way he only got to deal with the manslaughter charge and not the bootlegging charge.
Well, this past game, we had a character who basically said in character, "I'm going to go pet the Tarrasque and make it my friend,..." Turns out, he'd bartered a deal with this game world's equivalent of T'zeentch for what amounted to a 10th level spell scroll of True Polymorph. He True Poly'd the Tarrasque into a female, winged Tiefling...
Granted, this is the same player whose druid also befriended one of the BBEGs early on, and through mails back and forth, had convinced said BBEG to contract with her Demon God-King father, to take upon his godly powers, in order for him to escape his interdimensional prison he was trapped in, because of my character's actions. Yes, he convinced one of the BBEGs to become a fucking God-level powered BBEG...
This is also the same druid who, after we obtained an ancient Elven artifact that can stop time, refused to return said artifact to the elves ("because, they were assholes to us,..."), and instead, bogarted the artifact (that **I** had claimed from this time-locked city-prison in order to return to the elves, but had to work that session) and instead, gave it to an Evil-Aligned Chronomancer Queen, because "It's fine... It'll be okay... Don't worry, I know what I'm doing..."
After the whole "pet the Tarrasque" stunt, he essentially was forced to retire that character, and is now playing a barbarian, after HALF the party voted to kill his druid during a Dinner Party with the new BBEG, since he befriended one BBEG (the God-level one), and was essentially set to become the stepfather to the second, since he was working on marrying the Evil Chronomancer Queen (2nd BBEG was the daughter of Chrono-Queen). Yes, he WAS the face/leader of the party.
Context: I'm the ONLY Good-Aligned character in the party... the rest are Chaotic-Neutral. The Druid, Chaotic-Neutral, a vampire, and liked to purposefully shit all over my character's efforts to do the right thing, and would "prank" my character by getting him blamed for a bunch of horrendous acts. My character essentially has a 1 MILLION gold bounty on his head, and can't even leave the airship to go into town, because of the druid's "pranks."
Sounds like you should leave the group because they are letting this level of bullshit happen to you and you are not enjoying your time.
@@phelps6205 After half of us talked to the DM, and told him we were essentially sick of the Druid's antics (aka "Chaos for Chaos' sake, lol-lol-lol-so random"), he's been hard course-correcting the situation.
I'm now leader of the party, since the druid was running the game into the ground. And, the group loot bank vault is now under the control of someone who doesn't want/care about loot (bc the druid was essentially using the bank vault as "the bank of [druid's name here]." Alot of that also stemmed from him basically scooping up ALL the bounty loot, and putting it into the bank vault. "Oh, you want to use some of the vault money that is essentially YOUR own money? Well, you're borrowing from the 'bank of Druid,' and now owe the vault back."
The druid's player basically got too comfortable and began to think he had "plot armor," since he was the main healer of the party, and in charge of the bank vault.
Him being forced to retire that character does have some consequences for the party. The airship contract was in his druid's name, but I have a Temporal Dragon that the group can ride inside it's pocket dimension. And the crew to the airship was under the enthrallment of the vampire DMPC that was tied to the druid. But, like I said, I have a work-around for that. The druid being forced to retire that character also has us out a healer, but the DM said the party can bring in a mercenary healer DMPC to help the party out.
Personally, I'd let the Godlike BBEG thing happen, it doesn't seem too bad, the marrying of the 2nd BBEG doesn't seem too bad either, I do understand that it's in the same campaign so I too would get a bit annoyed. However, I will admit that giving the time stop artifact to the Chronomancer Queen was incredibly annoying, he should at least have had to convince every party member via rolling Pursuasion Checks at disadvantage and he needs all Nat 20s. I understand not giving to the elves because they're assholes, but giving to an evil character is way too far. I rank the pet tarrasque as still annoying BS tho.
"I attempt to recover all of my explosive arrows." This was something one of my players said, and attempted, in a game. Myself, who was the DM, and the other players sat there and blinked at him. The player then says, "I got a 17 on my Search check, how many explosive arrows do I recover?" Once I had actually processed what the player was saying said "None." The player proceeded to get really angry and couldn't understand why he wasn't able to recover his explosive arrows. I told him that it's an explosion and that the arrow is destroyed in the process. The player got angry with this answer and tried to argue that his arrows wouldn't be destroyed by an explosive. The arguing went back and forth for about 5 minutes until another player said "it's a God damn explosion and your arrows are wood & feathers. The arrows won't survive, just go buy some more." The player who tried to recover his explosive arrows realized what he was saying, and backed off.
I gave a group a Deck of Many Things (My first and only time doing so), and the dwarf in the party draws the 1d3 wish card and gets 1 on the dice roll, decides to save it. Continues to draw, get the title and keep and a lot of riches, then, the poverty card, looses everything, his gear, his coin, the land and the title with it. "DM, I wish for all my sh*t back". Party was banned for life from that tavern as the keep had to take several weeks to shovel out centuries of dwarf excrement (all he had ever taken in his life being magically restores and teleported to his location) and clean everything down.
In a sci-fi setting we were RPing in, we had a dumb moment that turned out to be more brilliant than I expected. Me and another member of an A.I. (Artificial Intelligence, we were robots) church who worshipped this one, very powerful, god-level A.I., think Rasputin from Destiny 2, were pinged to go investigate some noise that was happening over our lil' church/homeless shelter in the city. Basically it was a "Closest members go check out the problem." sorta deal so I show up, and I'm essentially a scarecrow of loose wiring and actuators stuffed inside a metal skeleton, hidden under a robe and a golden mask. I was a hacker-bot, very "Destroy all organics" type, and my only weapon really was basically the exposed wiring in my skeletal hands. The other player who responded to this incident was a literal, walking, battle-tank! She was more the "Protect my fellow faithful!" type.
So anyway, we arrive and the Story Teller tells us that there's a guard keeping lookout for whatever is going on around the corner. I figure "Excellent, I'll just walk up and begin proselytizing our one, true, faith and how his disgusting organic body can be saved if he just installs a cyber-brain and joins us." He walks over to tell me to scram, I apologize and offer to shake his hand for the inconvenience, and because the ST was a cool guy he let me roll to essentially hit him with the Phantom Limb treatment from Venture Bros. I rolled an 18! Fuck yeah! So I zap the guy unconscious and turn to my tank cohort, since she's much sturdier and stronger than I am, and 'Telepathically' basically tell her "We need to hide the body."
Now here comes the stupid parts: What I intended for "Hide the body" was "You go drag that body around a corner somewhere and I'll stay here and spy on what's going on." What she interpreted as "Hide the body" was take our one guy that I intended to interrogate and THROW HIS UNCONSCIOUS BODY OVER THE RAILING TO LAND ON HIS HEAD AND PRESUMABLY DIE! Me: "WhatTheFuckAreYouDoing.JPEG" This causes a scene in the streets, people are loudly screaming and fleeing as what they presume is a dead body just landed on someone's car which is now loudly blaring it's alarm! Meanwhile, on the catwalk we're on, we discovered that what was going on was an arms deal between an illegal weapons smuggler and a group of human supremacist terrorists that had been plaguing the colony.
We discovered this because one of them comes running over to the edge to see what the fuck is going on down there with all the screaming and the alarms as he sees the guard they posted on watch is now laying there, crumpled in the middle of a mini-van, with his head busted open. He then turns and looks at us and IMMEDIATELY puts 2 and 2 together. So we enter combat! "OhShitOhFuck.PNG" I had started messaging back to base, essentially, that our initiate here had fucked EVERYTHING UP when she shoves me out the way, takes point in front of me, and says "Acolyte H4Y-W1RE, I am your shield! Let no ordinance damage our faithful!" putting her shield up and using herself as cover for me. Meanwhile the arms dealer is asking what the fuck is going on out there as the terrorists scramble for cover!
In a cruel and blessed twist of irony, our beloved Initiate fires an explosive charge from her Energy Lance, missing LITERALLY EVERYONE... "That'sItWe'reFucked.JPG" except... She missed everybody but hit the stockpile of weapons and ammo, instantly detonating the ammo and ordinance they were trading for, leading to a cascading series of explosions which then proceeded to kill literally everybody in that alley way, dealing a little splash damage to our walking battle-tank initiate, and leaving me entirely unharmed. The kicker in all this? That guy that she had flung over the railing who I thought was dead? He was the SOLE SURVIVOR of this encounter and, after fixing up his head (Glory of futuristic medicine), I still had a witness to interrogate. We wound up naming him Higgins and he wound up being a recurring character for that mini-plot-arch. :x "Well done, Initiate. Let us return home, and report our findings." Proceeds to, in character, leave out the absolute shit-fuckening that was this whole encounter.
Party in a war campaign is planning their attack on the enemy camp. I forget what exactly we were after but it's not important. They're going to fireball the problem, then rush in and beat the tar out of the survivors. Sounds good. Rogue gets bored, decides he's going to sneak into the camp and take out the target himself. So, he sneaks off on his own, and stealthily infiltrates. The place he knows is going to be firebombed. And doesn't tell the party.
BOOM. Dead rogue
Years ago in a 1E one shot I was running as a step into a greater campaign, my party of experienced players encountered a troll as a wandering monster. Being around 6th lvl they made short work of the troll, and leaving one party member on guard they proceeded to go to sleep. I described to the player on guard that a couple of hours later he heard something roll along the ground, followed by low growling. When he looked up I told him he saw the troll's head roll back to it's body and the troll reached down grasped it's head and re-attached it. He awakened the party and again they made short work of it, and this time burned the remains. They then had the nerve to ask me if they could get double exps for it since they had defeated it twice. I told them no, that if they had killed it right the first time they wouldn't have had to fight it the second time.
So, people shouldn't get XP for killing undead, since they're already dead? What's your logic there?
@@ultrabigfella if this dm had allowed that, they could just keep killing the same troll and letting it come back until they were max level
@@paevepailbrack6899 you can allow the killing of undead to give XP and still be honest and tell your players "I'm not gonna let you farm enemies."
@@ultrabigfella umm that's not what he said. The troll was never dead till they torched it. Kind of like no matter how many times you destroy the body of a lich, you still have to destroy the phylactory. You still only get XP for the final true death.
did they get the xp the first or second time?
Man started breakdancing to fight while his arms where tied.
After the funeral, we tie peoples legs up too now
Okay, that first one is awesome. I can see the character do that as well. I wouldn't call that the dumbest thing, but legit one of the best unintended "twists" possible
I have willingly bled on 2 different alters in our campaign. One of which turned my spine into metal, no regrets.
Does the spine still bend normally?
@@syntax1235 I have disadvantage on acrobatics and athletics checks, but enemies have disadvantage on attacking me from behind.
So it doesn't work as well as the old one, but can provide defense.
@@theemeraldpotato3798 acrobatics makes sense but not athletics.
Mirror's Story: The DM should have picked up his bucket and looked at the players and asked them "How many Hit Points do you have?" "That's not nearly enough...the town basically disappears in a colossal detonation that to future people will resemble Ground Zero to the Tsar Bomba..."
"Roll new Characters..."
I saw a player tear their own original print 1st edition PHB in half down the spine, then storm outside and burn their character sheet because they failed a saving throw... They were asked to leave and not invited back.
The tell-tale signs were there - one extra, random chair in the room, skidmarks where the chair was moved... he lifted the chair to see if anything was hidden underneath, and found he couldn't remove his hand from the chairs leg... and then nearly died to a mimic.
I was that player lol..
The second one is a good example of when the party doesn’t have to be affiliated with eachother.
As a GM, I literally had a player cast "Haste" on a Hydra opponent... all because he didn't read the actual spell, he just assumed it was dangerous. He killed half of the party and himself with the ridiculous spell. The same player would later play a Fire Elemental and cast "River of Lava" to wipe out ONE opponent... in the streets... of a HUGE bustling city. While a large portion of the city burned and NPC's were wasted like roaches, he honestly believed he just proved himself to be a bad ass. Thankfully, this guy didn't play very long.
The Gaius and Riffelin story is pretty awesome, not gonna lie.
Shot an arrow at the fey king who rescued and brought us back to health because "[his character] was stressed"
From my DM: Answer any time I ask the line "Are you sure" with an answer other than "No".
this one is p simple, it only took one sentence, and it derailed EVERYTHING "i stab the baby"....
My group has this one guy who has the worst decision making I have ever seen and WILL accidentally destroy any negotiation if he is present. Its simultaneously infuriating and hilarious.
Don’t get me started.
There’s a reason we call our campaign “Idiots with Dice”.
In a very haunted and nasty forest infested with, among many other things, gnolls, our party found a hut in the middle of a clearing utterly filled with traps. Traps everywhere, all kinds of types from bear traps to spikes, etc.
Due to circumstances we decided we wanted to speak to the owner of the house, and so we started planning how to approach it... At which point one character decided they'd *jump*. Over a distance that was physically impossible to jump over. Needless to say the player did not roll high enough to clear the check - in fact they rolled very low - and so jumped straight into a hidden pitfall filled with spikes.
A hilarious moment, I still chuckle over it whenever I remember it.
As a gm for many different systems I only ever used the words "are you sure about that" only once. In fantasy flight star wars a player wanted to use a destiny point for a rock to smash the cockpit a pc was under in low gravity quote"i want an asteroid to destroy the cockpit and everything under it". I asked if they wanted to rephrase it, they said they were sure. I asked if they wanted to do something first and said exactly what they said back with the current position they were in. I said those dreaded works for the first time and only time in my gm carrier. And even with the other pcs hinting get out of the way didn't listen. Well they left and never came back when their character went unconscious and suffered a critical injury
I played an awakened cat bard once. They had no attack spells only utility and I purposely dump statted con. He survived the decent into avernus
as someone who dm'd that module your dm let you otherwise you would of died encounter 1
Myself. For some reason I thought it was a good idea to kick down every doors i found, one of them was a super shallow broom closet, failed a con check, broke my legs, and incapacitated myself for a bossfight.
Had the players get locked in a room with a water elemental and the room was quickly flooding. The very obviously hostile water elemental yells "Have fun drowning!".
The player who is playing a very squishy divine soul sorcerer as a healer walks up to the water elemental and says "i'm really thirsty! Can i have a drink?" and proceeds to plunge their head into the water elemental's body.
A prize to the first person who responds with who died within 2 turns.
The water elemental obviously, I mean the sorcerer said he was thirsty
@@necromancedkoatle where's this man's prize?
@@pinkliongaming8769 The players were level 3. They didn't kill the water water elemental at all lol. I ended up just having the water elemental laugh at them and leave, pleased and confident that them being locked in the flooding room would finish them off.
I've been saying for years: If you can't laugh at yourself, you have no right to laugh at anyone else. One of the dumb things I've done in DnD is playing a wildfire druid with no spells that were NOT fire based, and no ranged weapons. We were in a mine (or cave, can't remember) and needed to take out some kobolds. They were on wooden scaffolding that we needed to remain intact. They were out of melee range, and I couldn't use my fire spells for risk of destroying the scaffolding. The next time we entered a town I bought some javelins and at my next level up I grabbed a couple non-fire spells, that way I would be less useless in the future
Can't remember how it happened, but one guy fell over face down in a stream with heavy armor and just drowned to death. In and out of characters the rest of the group were absolutely stunned.
I'm sorry, but the thought that everyone else just stood there watching, too stunned to even try to help, just made me laugh uncontrollably.
Lol
I had a character almost freeze to death.
We were level 1 and found a pseudodragon nest with some eggs in it and I knew that each one was worth 10k.
So I climbed up the cliff face to steal one. Unfortunately, one of the adults was still in the nest and stung me in the face, I failed my save, became paralyzed, and fell into a deep snow bank.
The rest of the players left me there while they tried to figure out how to get the eggs.
The DM and I are damn near dying laughing as the other players keep missing his hints about me turning blue.
Had a brand new player try to troll me constantly. He even tried attacking walls for secret doors, which ended up hurting himself on one occasion and drawing attention of enemies on another.
At one point the party was trying to discover the identity of an NPC who didn't remember who he was. The new guy says "I roll to see if he's The Dragon."
I blink for a few seconds, confused. There has been no dragon at all in this entire session, nor has there been any insinuation that there will be one. I figure I'm not hearing him right. "If he's what?"
The player says, "If he's the dragon! I mean it's Dungeons and Dragons so maybe this guy's the dragon."
I stare at him in disbelief. "Okay. I'm going to give you one chance to back out of this. You want to try to discern if this guys is 'the dragon,' which is an entity you have no knowledge of nor have any reason to suspect anyone would be. Are you sure you want to do this?"
The player laughs. "Yeah man. I want to see if he's the dragon."
"Roll."
He rolls a nat one.
I sigh and tell him "You have tried to do something so stupid, so incomprehensible that you are made dumber as a result of it. Permanently subtract one point of intelligence from your character sheet."
And THAT was how I brought that guy into line. He ended up laughing at himself and having a great time. It was a good campaign.
Dumbest thing i tried was playing a fairy barbarian
I think the glass staff thing was a case where they had it in their head that the person was named glass staff, not that it was something they were called, so they just sorta had a brain mess up and upon hearing the name wasn’t glass staff, ignored the rest of what he said. That’s purely my speculation though
An unconscious player character was bleeding until treated, so it would start rolling death saves again every hour. The Monk and Barbarian had this conversation:
Monk: I have an idea, I make a bandage out of leaves.
Barbarian: I just bought a Healer's Kit, I have bandages right here.
Monk: (climbs a tree and fails Athletics check) okay, the leaves are out of reach, I have to use use mud instead.
Barbarian: I have +6 and Advantage on Athletics and I am a fairy, I can get you your leaves!
Monk: Okay, I make a mud bandage.
Barbarian: You do things like this every time you get sober.
My character Lea... She was an elf fighter. One of those leave everything on the battlefield types. For much of the campaign she would refuse to even drink a health potion because it showed that you were weak. So it can create some very stupid situations, things that I would never do in real life.
Funny enough she almost killed one of the party members first session since he ran from her. Definietly metagamed, but it did not seem fair to the other player - who was completely new to DND
This story is not when Lea died, but was a good learning point. Anyway we were level 3 or 4 fighting a shambling mound. We only had three members of our party so it was a bit of a stretch. Lea was grappled. She dropped to one hit point and swallowed. The other party members started running. I fully thought Lea was a goner, but she got out first try. The monster was almost dead. Lea was too, but i knew that she would rather be slaughtered than run. So, first go around she attacked it full on with her sword. The shambling mound swallowed her again, but was killed that turn. Lea lived to fight a couple more battles. But it was at that moment that I realized the gravity of dying in DND. Lea had known that she was going to die in battle long before that point, but that was the first time I made peace with that. It was truly a magnificent experience.
The rogue that broke a window to climb into a second floor building, and broke another to get away.
This same rogue disguised himself as some guards and tried to enter a manor. Said manor had some traps that the rogue didn't see and activated, he was trapped by the leg, when the guards came, he tried to explain that an intruder escaped while he pursued him. They asked: How come you activated the traps and he didn't? He tried to bluff by faking his own death, right there mid sentence.
10/10
Omg, that bullet one is pure gold. Nat ones followed by nat 20s can lead to some of the most insane cr@p ever.
Stealth raid on a goblin/orc camp, everyone is scattered running around the camp like a horde of mindless chickens, the rogue/warlock of the party manages to sneak inside easily and murder some goblins until he misses his attack and starts trying to persuade them or whatever, meanwhile our wizard casts fireball on one of the archer towers. The player tried to reason that "they’ll be looking for me, not for you", that’s when five orcs got up from their sleeping tents. I have no idea where this is going to go.
Also while I’m at it, the riffelin story makes a lot of sense, the guy didn’t mess up, he was right, I guess the others didn’t think that the character might be in shock at his new discovery. Anyone would be if they found out their god was the actual maker of everything. Guess that’s a plot hook that will never be explored
Better description for the last on,Darwin award winners!😆😆😆
My warforged druid, Blitz, once got into a barfight with some farmers, and one got very close to her, so she grabbed a glass of stuff nearby to her and splashed it in his eyes in hopes of temporarily blinding him before making her escape.
Turns out, it just made him larger and more angry, and she got beaten seven ways to Saturday before she managed to scramble back towards our party's necromancer, who dragged her to a blacksmith so she could get repaired. This was the same necromancer who was trying to find another member of our party and thinking something was in a random bush, she set it on fire and accidentally fried an NPC who was in the bush looking for something.
Truly no greater feeling of disbelief as when my bard is successfully swindling a dangerous npc and our Dragonborn monk walks up and undoes all of my hard work with a goofy smile and a "But Bahamut says..."
Has almost gotten us killed more times than I can ever bare to recount
Was in a party with 4 other people playing as a totem Barbarian. We stumbled across a secret room with a young woman and two warforged protecting her. Me, being my first DnD campaign, tried to walk up and just grab her away. I was obviously attacked by the warforged and the battle started. Upon realizing that I alone could not fight them, our Druid not having any spells for the situation, and the rest of the party almost dead, we attempted to leave. We ran back up the stairs to the entrance, and the door was shut behind us, with only a glowing glyph as a hint to escape. After a failed arcana from both our paladin and Druid, me and the fighter decided the best way through was to smash the stone wall with the glyph instead of the wooden door. We did, and on the other side was an army ready to take us away. Fun times though.
One of my players, when faced with the extremely steep and dangerous side of a mountain the party had to climb down from, decided that using the relatively safe cables, platforms and ladders already installed for that very purpose was too boring. It's worth mentioning that the guy in question was a lucky and agile daredevil who lived for thrill and excitement, so that was... actually quite fitting for the character.
He instead decided to do the following. Find a large, mostly flat rock, big enough for him to stand on. Throw it down the side of the mountain so it would slide down. Leap off the mountain. Land on the rock. 'Surf' the rock all the way down to the bottom of the mountain.
As a side note, in my groups, everyone knows this: when I ask "Are you sure you want to do this?", and the player responds with yes, and I then ask "Are you REALLY sure you want to do this?", then everyone at the table knows for a fact that I mean, "There are very high chances that you will not survive the consequences of what you are about to do." The player nonetheless said "Yes" to both questions.
What followed was a series of rolls. He successfully found an appropriate rock. He successfully tossed the rock at the right angle and force to get it both to slide, and stay facing upwards. He successfully managed to leap onto the rock in midair. He failed to remain standing as the rock hit the steep cliff underneath when he landed, so he was tossed up again. He successfully managed to land on it despite being tossed up. And finally, he failed to maintain his balance as he landed on it.
What followed was him wrecking himself on the steep cliff as he went down alongside the rock, leaving behind much of his flesh, most of his blood, breaking almost every bone in his body and likely losing a few bits here and there as well.
Just so you have an idea of how close he came to dying, we were using the Doctor Who RPG system, which means that "Health" is basically the sum of one's Attributes (the main stats) of which there are six, and can go no higher than 6 for humans (basically, when you get injured, your attributes are lowered by the damage taken until you have no point left, at which point you're basically dead). In other words, you can have up to "36 HP" if ALL of your Attributes are at 6. Needless to say, his weren't.
I told him to roll a D30 (and yes, we had a D30, lol). He rolled low, like a 5 or something. So I said, "That's not high enough. Roll again. Add them together."
He rolled like a 16 or something, which basically took all of his attributes points to 0 save for one or two. I had him roll 2d30s of damage in a game with a maximum of 36 HP, and he survived. XD
He asked me if he was still able to move one of his arms. I rolled a die, and decided that he could. So he told me he raised it and made a thumbs-up to his fellow PCs before losing consciousness.
It... was glorious. Dumbest action I've ever seen a PC do, but glorious.
One of my players was a bard. The party was in a dungeon trying to solve a door puzzle, but the bard got bored so he "rolled to lap dance the door" nat twenty. Door opens up, magically charmed. Next puzzle was something to do with a stone wall that was blocking their way. "I roll to lap dance the wall" nat freaking twenty. The wall slides up and the dungeon opens into a village. Children were running around playing- "i roll to lap dance a child" Nat. Freaking. Twenty.
Had a player who tried to start conflict with another player by commenting that a third player made an alter to his god in hopes that the Claric would be angry.
We were playing Kingmaker and had finally gotten to the final boss of the entire campaign. He’s a mythic summoner and we have a party of 6 fighting his Eidolon while he is finishing a ritual to basically become part of Golarion and rule the world. While we’re fighting in here, we have multiple nations armies fighting their nations armies along with a bunch of green super elementals this dude is commanding.
We down the Eidolon after I almost shoot myself to death(I was a gunslinger) and we figure out that the way to stop the ritual is to go into his area, but by doing so your soul will be erased from existence. No afterlife, just done.
So naturally I shoot our queen in the head with a non lethal round because she starts sprinting to sacrifice herself, and then I shoot our warpriest who tries to do the same. Our warpriest gets an attack of opportunity because with a combination of buff spells he’s a Manimal Triceratops kaiju and we knock each other out.
Here comes the dumb part, the rogue, our wizard, and a DMPC who is the summoners brother helping us stop him are left. The wizard ends up convincing the DMPC to sacrifice himself while the rogue with 7 strength is trying to drag the queen out.
We have a D6 on the table counting the rounds until this thing goes off and he legitimately out of character did not know what it was for, or what was going on with the ritual. This was explained to us multiple times by the DM, and we have 2 rounds before this guy BECOMES the planet and doesn’t even know it.
Luckily, our wizard cast heroism on the DMPC and he went in, but holy crap was it frustrating that this guy didn’t care enough to pay attention in the final battle of the campaign. I told the DM after the session I wasn’t going to be playing any more games with that guy, since all he wanted to do was roll attacks. Thing is, he wasn’t even good at that and would regularly complain my triple multiclassed gunslinger was over powered.
"Immediately suffocates"
...I don't think you know how breathing works, OP.
Our moment Was: We we were playing the Lost Mine Of Phandelver and In in There was a Hidden Pit that was Supposed to be a Trap though the Druid Spotted it Our Rogue then Decided To Go in The Pit and Asked "What do I See?" and i Say Word for Word: You See Dirt and Worms It Is LITERALLY Just a Hyucking Pit.' Our Rogue then Proceeds to Dig out Nearly 20 HYUCKING Feet of Dirt Then The Pit Collapsed and The Rogue Suffocated To Death The Rogue's Character than Said : "wHy dIdN't yOu tELl mE ThErE wAs nOtHiNg In tHe pIt?????????"
My players tried to rob a whole bazar with at least 15 tents in it. Bear in mind they were only at level four and had visited about 3 tents before they made this decision, with the owner of one of them having an Adult Black Dragon to help him. After they murdered two salesmen and looted a Spell Scroll Store, the whole bazar was protecting itself against the new agressors. What was supposed to be a chill shopping session where they could by items, sell the ones they found, talk with NPCs... ended up almost being a TPK, where four players died and of the two that remained, one ended up in orbit and the other without and arm and two legs in the middle of a desert.
My cousin sold spoiled horse meat by tricking the guy we were selling supplies by telling him they were a delicacy. Then started a bar fight, stole a horse seconds after the mayor decided to let him go, and got arrested. He managed to just barely convince the mayor to go help the party and never return. Safe to say he learned his lesson and became much more helpful.
Only at the first story, and things are already hilarious. 😂
Disaster Lesbian is one of my favorite archetypes
"This isn't the wizard you're looking for."
The first one actually seems like an alright idea, just a simple Freudian slip at the end. Honestly, it's like the character idea of a werewolf who doesn't believe in the moon.
When I heard, "I tried to steal ammunition by swallowing them" My first thought was that he was going to hit hard and explode
5:33 I don't know if I would call that a toxic player. More just... An interesting character.
I'd say that being so horny-stupid, assuming that's an alignment now, to derail the entire thing they were trying to do for no rational reason is, if not toxic, too high a level of stupid for me to tolerate in my games.
@@amberkat8147 The greatest enemy is the one you aren't pointing a weapon at.
My party returned to the alchemist lady to turn in the quest items. While the others were talking to her, the PALADIN snuck off to the side, said 'I whip it out and start pissing in her potions' for absolutely no reason. He failed the stealth check miserably and the whole party got thrown out of the shop. Later the paladin managed to get on a date with her with some ungodly luckily timed nat 20s
I was playing a moon elf rogue/bard in a friend's campaign, and the factor behind how we all knew each other is that we were prisoners sent to a gladiator ring. My character, who was charismatic as all heck, offered to help the old man charged with leading us to larger cells down a set of stairs (we all did amazing in our fight, so we were given better accommodations). I then proceeded to roll a nat 1, and my normally graceful character went from being a bit of a suck-up to a groaning heap at the foot of the stairs.
Very short distance Fireball. Killed the party.
As a DM, a monster the party encountered was way above their weight class so I dropped hints that it'd be best to run and return with a better plan of action (via friendly npc's suggesting and the monster having a frightful presence)Player stood their ground after witnessing the eviseration of several npc's, everyone in the party missing, spells failing because of the monsters ability, and this player hitting it with a armor piercing bolt (went against the touch ac) for 3 damage. The monster killed them with 3 of the 5 attacks it had.
See in the that girl story she could have resolved it so much easier. SHE COULD HAVE ASKED TO HEAL HER. They where closing in on an agreement. I'm sure the luskins wouldn't have minded since they where gonna free her anyways
Find a ghost in a clock tower who tell the party to get off of her tower. They escape. Out the tower they fight a gargoyle, the paladin one shot him, then he goes back to the tower. The ghost almost killed him and he became 20 years older. Why did he entered the tower after the ghost clearly told them not to do so, I will never understand lol
Wizard used acid splash on the inside of a ship, targeting an enemy below him, missing, putting hole in said ship.
He then proceeded to use lamp oil and fire bolt together for an AOE
On a wooded ship.
Levels 1s never cease to amaze
New player running a wizard. They get ambushed by goblins while traveling. “ I hit the goblin with my staff” “ you sure?” “ I don’t have any other option” “alright” he rolls “the goblin is unfazed by your attack and stabs you, you fall and are near death” “oh no”
My player’s wizard had ten sticks of dynamite in his backpack. He never used them and then forgot about them, even I forgot as well. There was a war later on in the campaign, and in the midst of the battle the player was struck by a fire arrow and caught fire. He suddenly remembered and said, “OH NO. I STILL HAVE THE DYNAMITE IN MY PACK.” I let him know that it was a really bad idea to remind me about that right now. He and about 15 fellow paladins instantly died. Though later revived, he had terrible full body burn scars and had lost limbs. After honesty like that, I cut him some slack instead of permanently killing him outright from the blast.
My case is recent.
I was playing a Twilight Cleric in a session with a new DM; her BF, our normal DM, was helping her out. Enter a fight in a tight corridor.
While we're lvl 1 I took Variant Human for Fey Touched to get Misty Step and Bless. Teleported to the other side of the enemy, a tiny witch, bonked on turn one and on turn two I cast bless on the oni wizard, rogue (Forget Race) and slime druid (I think it was a druid, anyway). One player, using a bard, didn't get bless; I had no lvl 2 spell slots to use of course and there was some teasing about it aimed to him; friends and all.
Another witch comes from the other direction and a large boss (A Snatcher) following not long after. Witch 1 dies and our wizard moves to engage the big guy; we're playing a custom Bloodborne campaign and while we're all treated at lvl 1 we have one level in a base class and one in the homebrew Hunter, meaning an Unarmored Defense based on Int for all of us plus the Hunter's d10 Hit Dice; the wizard had an AC of 18 and opted to engage in close while the rest handled the witch. I would jump over the witch (Tiny Creature) at one point to use Cure Wounds on him.
Then the Bard cast Bane on the witch, the Snatcher... and ME. The justification? The Bard has a 7 in int and, as such, is stupid and thinks he MUST use Bane on three targets...
Needless to say I'm a bit at a disadvantage and instead of using my Warhammer in close I have to rely on my cantrips for damage. And THEN he opts to use Thunderwave on the witch... with the DRUID in range. Druid rolls a Nat 1 on the save and goes splat and into saving throws. I fall back to use Cure Wounds and my last spell slot.
The Snatcher then CRIT, one shot the wizard, killed him (No death saves, just dead) and knocked me down to six HP.
The only reason we won is we kited it as the Druid used Entanglement to slow it down as we fell back and pelted it with attacks from range until it died.
Ok, I got one. 2 years ago, we got separated in our campaign by being ambushed by giant bipedal frogs. The children we saved from a flooded village went missing as well as the dwarf we kidnapped (this was ACK). Our group split up again to look for them when one of our party members heard squealing. We followed the squealing and found our cleric, drowning in an INCH DEEP puddle while being jumped on by the two feral children. We have a dumbass cleric-
I mean, the magic shoes that can find their mate isn't useless.
Hide it inside something enticing and leave it out for a baddie to steal, then track them back to their hideout.
Give one to a stealthy player and then split up in a dark dungeon, so you can always be aware of exactly where you are in relation to each other.
Slip it into the pack of someone you want to follow (or avoid.)
I'm sure there are plenty more.
I mean, it's basically a super-innocuous-looking magical tracking device. There are plenty of ways to make use of it under the right circumstances!
In my DnD friend group, we now have an infamous incident known as 'The Greatest Plan'. Here's the story:
In a one-shot turned mini campaign, there was 6 of us, with a 5 players including me. A Captain America inspired fighter, a paladin, a Twilight Cleric, a Swashbuckler Rogue, and me, a Circle of Stars Druid. See, my character was... not very smart, intelligence of 8, and that is on top of being a tree-hippie that had at this point rarely left the forest. So when we're fighting in a town that's overrun with undead and a stray arrow hits a barrel on a cart and it starts leaking a black sand. Cut to the end of the encounter, and the objective is to resolve the hostage situation in the church right next to this cart.
My character gets distracted and investigates this 'black sand', and even has a lick of it, not knowing what it is. Rogue comes over, sees what it is, and then scolds my druid, saying it's very dangerous and very flamable, enough to kill you if catches on fire and explodes. Then, the rusted gears in my druid's head turns...
The Greatest Plan
My druid, the one the party has largely looked to for previous guidance and leadership, says that we can very quickly get rid of the people taking the hostages and the undead around them, sneaking into the back of the church that our rogue had scouted. We each take a barrel of the 'black sand' (except for the rogue, who wanted to sneak in from the roof) and go to the back entrance, and we quickly open the door, throw a barrel in, throw a firebolt, then slam the door again.
I explain the plan in character and, with the DM's permission, ask the other guys to roll an intelligence to see if they can spot of obvious holes in this plan. All on them don't roll higher than a 10, so they're on board. I roll an intelligence roll, but this is in the opposite direction for me to see if I think this plan is brilliant, and I roll really high, like a 17 or 18. So, everyone is convinced. We grab the barrels, line up at the door with one guy to dedicated open and close the door, one to throw the barrel, and I have a firebolt to ignite it all readied. At the count of 3, we execute the plan...
...Then immediately have the barrel hit the undead on the opposite side of the door, stopping it flat in it's tracks in the doorway, and with my readied action that hadn't expected it to fail, still threw the firebolt... Making it explode in basically everyone's face. But that's not it, as it also was close enough to the other 4 barrels of 'black sand', and detonated them all too. We took the equivalent of like, 5 lvl 4 or 5 fireballs, no save in sight. Safe to say, we all evaporated, save for the rogue who managed to luckily slide down a piece of rubble from the now very destroyed church and flee.
All of us dead or gone, all the hostages burnt to a crisp or crushed by rubble... but at least we got that bastard necromancer!
Moral of the story, have party members please for the love of God, question bad plans. Because while it was hilarious and we still reference it as one of our favorite moments in DnD, we DID completely destroy that guy's mini-campaign.
My biggest fork up was a Final Fantasy 7 inspired round in which i smashed my PC against a wall.
DM description was a secured Area with a small security gate, surrounded by Tank busting walls.
What i understood was fences...
Walls -/~ fences you know similar functions different purposes quite different sturdiness.
So i took my character on his motorcycle and try to crash through the "fence."
I still don't knows where that missunder standing came from i was sure he said fence he is sure he said wall.... So it was a wall and my beloved Cloud Strife meats Heavy Metal Half Elvish looking fighter became a full meetpie thanks to a highspeed cavalry attack on an unmovable object...
we got to a shrine in the jungle, the dm gave us this long story about a crocodile or something... we werent really listening. we proceeded to nearly die repeatedly inside of this shrine to numerous traps... eventually getting to the treasure hidden inside. it wasnt until on the way out when we discovered the story actually told us how to avoid the traps entirely. I dont think ive ever felt dumber as a player XD
In a space game many years ago, "that guy" used his laser rifle to ignite spilled fuel in a derelict starship we were trying to fix and salvage for ourselves. He then attempted to frame another party member for the deed.
The person he was attempting to frame did not own any weapons capable of igniting stable starship fuel... he used a crossbow.
No explanation was ever given for why he did this, but the fuel explosion set back the salvage operation by several game sessions.
The same "that guy" also decided to perform a full Breach and Clear on a doorway, kicking it in, screaming, waving his weapon around... on the lowest floor of a mostly-collapsed building that was already barely holding together.
...Aaaand also exposed the entire party to radiation and nearly killed us via smoke inhalation during a "puzzle" where the solution was to just shut up and wait. Everyone figured this out except for him, and he was having none of it, insisting on trying literally everything in his kit. And then defended himself by saying "at least I was trying stuff" when that was the only thing he was NOT supposed to be doing.
So, this one is long but a ride imo. I'm a DM in a game where our paladin has a white dragon cloak which he uses every day to see if he can sense any white dragons within a 10 mile radius (the ability resets at dawn so, naturally, he normally does this as soon as the party wakes up each day). Since the party tend to go around places that have no cold places nearby this never really gets set off. One day, however, it did get pinged. The group went to the location to find a box which had had a spell cast upon it so that any kind of divination magic that was cast on the box would show the box as a white dragon. Naturally, since it was free stuff, the party took the box.
The party then went off to a fancy ball within the capital city. We're talking like nobles kind of ball, and they brought the box then the rogue tried to plant it on a random woman at the ball while pickpocketing her. Because of the security that would logically be present at such an event, the place went into lockdown because the security's divination magic told them that an evil aligned dragon had just come into the building.
The party got interrogated one by one with the use of a zone of truth. Everyone purposefully failed the check and did their best to clear up the situation...except for the paladin. The paladin's wisdom save modifier was higher than the DC, and he insisted on flaunting that fact, bragging about how they couldn't compel him to tell the truth. This did not please the security officials and he was arrested for obstruction of justice. A pretty serious charge, especially when you consider the scale of the situation. During his trial, he tried to claim that he did nothing wrong for a very short time before demanding trial by combat.
Losing the trial by combat, he was to be sentenced to Carceri (an outer plane which is a giant prison dimension), except the spell went awry and sucked in the two wizards performing the spell, the judge and the rest of the party as well as the paladin. The paladin kept terrorising the judge and wizards while also trying to act friendly with them to get them on his side. His plan was to "betray" them and he was pretty open about this to the party as well as plans to overthrow the government that lead to him being in Carceri.
They're about halfway through Carceri and to this day, after months of weekly sessions, the paladin has insisted that at no point did he do anything wrong or do anything that constitutes a crime and that he is the victim of a great injustice that justifies the total eradication of a government.
At what point did he/will he lose his powers? He seems to be going pretty chaotic for a paladin
@@alexandrewildfire6405 He's oath of conquest and technically, him looking to overthrow a government is him looking for a form of conquest. And yes, he is extremely chaotic.
"That boulder's heavy enough to crush an ogre into paste."
"Is it loose? Or is it kind of stuck in place, or...?"
"It's... Kinda precarious, I suppose."
"I just clamber up on the boulder and start hopping up and down."
...
...
"Yep. It's coming down then..."
Once, my party and I were attempting to escape a dungeon when we encountered a chest in the middle of the room. Our aarakoca brashly rushed over to open it. ...Surprise! It was a mimic! Roll for initiative, and our warlock starts things off by trying to convince the mimic NOT to eat us. She actually succeeds...but as we were all walking away, that blasted aarakocka suddenly turns around, runs right toward the mimic.... and then ATTACKS IT. He got eaten for his trouble.
This happened a while ago, and the shenanigans she pulls are still absurd, but we still love her. In this particular scene, we were being chased by dire wolves because we had accidentally hurt one of its kids because it chased us and we perceived that as a threat. THEN we get to our destination, a large castle. We're currently in the back courtyard because we had entered the back. So, a pack of dire wolves to our back, an army of zombies to the front, and ghosts overhead. What does this particular party member do? She tries to befriend the dire wolves (She's hates me killing animals in minecraft) and almost loses her hand because she tried to PRACTICE MEDICINE on the child dire wolf WE HAD HURT. All I have to say is bless her heart.
"I wish for ..." about covers it.
"A very magical longsword!" was the funniest I can remember. Boy did he get one. I believe the curse was that if you die while owning this, you become a vampire.
Then there was the guy who mispelled the name of the character he wanted to summon. Unfortunately he got a meaningful typo and spelled the name of an NPC the party really didn't want to see again.
My major F up was in the very beginning of the campaign. Out party found a merchant who sold many things including carriages. Since it was a new campaign we were poor and didn’t have enough gold for a carriage. I decided to knock the poor old man out and steal the carriage. From then on we were wanted everywhere. I later found out if I hadn’t knocked him out, he would’ve simply helped us get more transportation.
I once had a homebrew character that was a Goliath gravity master thing. He was cursed in his backstory because he won a bet against a wizard that should have been impossible to win, and now he could only speak in whispers. I decided that I might as well not talk during the carriage ride in our first quest, so I HELD MYSELF UPSIDE DOWN UNDERNEATH THE CARRIAGE! When we came in contact with some goblins, I obviously had my turn last. Sense my homebrew class was a gravity magic class, I tried to pull a goblin under the carriage with gravity magic. Miss. Instead, what the party saw was one of our horses suddenly getting sucked under and instantly dying. And because me and the other adventure that I was with were the first people to get to the carriage at the start of the quest, their characters had no idea I was under there. The encounter ended with at least most of the goblins running from the horrific and unknown thing underneath the carriage. I then carried the carriage the rest of the way, I had plenty of carry weight. Homebrew is over powered.
A player of mine was surrounded by 3 Wolves with a Dire Wolf 2 spaces away; he decided he didn't want to be surrounded anymore so he provoked all 4 of them with his movement. This was his first session with the group and the last sessions playing that character as it instantly died from 1 crit and the rest hits. Everyone told him he should just hold tight but he his initiative was the highest so he figured if he just escaped right away then everyone could spend their turns fighting instead of playing damage control. He also later, on his new character, provoked 3 AoO from three undead that he was surrounded by and almost died on this toon too.
He was another player, and he tossed the macguffin into a pit, we responded by tossing him in after it.
How do you heal a child killed by axe handle down throat? Easy.
Gentle Repose
Mending
Revivify
And done.
Break into the manor of an NPC he was supposed to talk to, then try to pull out a gun on the chief of security, who was another player character - specialized in iaijutsu. That's how you die in session one.
funny moments and disasters are more memorable than epic badass moments.
I have knockback on my eldritch blast, we concocted a plan to launch our rogue into the air, towards a dragon, who had an item to guarantee a crit, wizard casts juimp on him and rogue leaps in the air, I eldritch blast him to get him a LITTLE higher. I crit. He dies.
The Wizard tried to engage in diplomacy with a hostile Wizard.
After we had already spent a good deal of time engaged in combat with said Wizard.
While the Wizard was under the effects of Polymorph.
And not just any Polymorph, but a T-Rex with an intelligence of 3 and an inability to understand spoken language.
His means of diplomacy? Run between the T-Rex and what it was currently engaged in battle with to try talking to it.
The whole table, including the DM, tried to explain why it wouldn't work and also why his character would know it wouldn't work. He still did it.
We have a player who is NOTORIOUS for doing stuff like this. A few quick examples that I can think of:
In a modern (I think it was a super hero) game, he armed a nuke with a 2 second detonator, with obvious results.
In a another modern setting (think general action movie with anti-heros) just after being introduced to the party he said, "I need a gun" then proceeded to grab the gun of one of the other players, a character who he'd just met. Said player pulled the trigger. We were playing GURPS (2nd ed I think) and that one shot blew off his arm and yeah, fastest death he has on record at about 10 seconds after introduction.
One D&D one I recall, party was walking down a narrow corridor. Encounters a monster (forget what) and are already fairly banged up. He, being the wizard and at the back of the party, casts fireball. Not QUITE an immediate TPK, 1 character survived on 1 like HP until almost the exit where a missed stealth roll alerted the nearby beholder to finish the job.
I dunno if it qualifies as stupid, I think it may've just been a deliberate means of killing his own character. We were in another super-hero game using the old marvel d100 system. His character's power was immortality, he'd always get better... He set off a device that caused a power dampening field as well as an explosion (I think they were linked but can't remember) Well he got his wish, his character died and couldn't come back but it nearly caused another wipe. Everyone had to roll to get away in time because the power dampening would mean that they'd be normal people caught in that big explosion. Alas, I failed that one and so lost a beloved character because of it.
Setting up an encounter with a group of 4 Elven Cartel members, in our heist campaign, that're fresh out of a supermax. They're supposed to meet a PC & pull him aside & make a plan. They tried, but the guy started talking crap to the 4 hardasses, so I stopped the game & explained why he should stop smack-talking the obvious hook & go along with it rather than getting the canonical consequence, which may lead him to his 2nd death of that story. Thankfully, he listened, after everyone laughed at him. 😮💨
running ye olde B/X by way of Old School Essentials, The Keep on the Borderlands. One player rolled a female fighter, flavored as a valkyrie, with an Intelligence score of 6
they decided to play their character as reflected in the stats, making fairly dumb decisions and rushing into battle with a cry of "INT 6! INT 6!"
When the player themselves fails a perception check
i like the first story. if you were barely if at all alive, your mind touching a greater entity like gaius/riffelin, you were both dazed and in a panic, you'd fuck up the names as well.
My first ever campaign
I was playing an elvish rogue, a nearby character was shot with an arrow I immediately said " I pull the arrow out" forgetting that I was behind the character and I had just pulled the arrow straight through their body. Luckily they survived. Later in the campaign I had managed to break an arm so it was splinted and strapped up, we hear the classic damsel in distress high up in a tree, I piped up that I would climb the tree and rescue her, despite having a broken arm I managed to make all the rolls to climb this 40ft tall tree then immediately failed the last roll and fell 40ft out of the tree onto my already broken arm, very nearly dying and the dm ruled that the cleric had to amputate my arm due to the damage I had done to it.
Was playing CoS. My Druid, in a drunken stupor (irl), got mad at me because she failed a persuasion check to be let into the Abbey at Krezk. She made her character roll down a hill like a log or barrel in an attempt to annoy me. It didn’t, but I had her roll a d20 to see if she could stop herself from headbonking a few crates at the bottom of the hill. She rolled a Nat1 and got knocked unconscious.