@@kenyafromcali I’ll never forget the fallout. Her words cut me deep and threw me into a wild depression that i wasn’t even aware i was in. Worst heartbreak ever
Megan just went through a divorce and now feels like shes losing her best friend...thats a lot on one person..but I really want Megan to look at this in a different way. Maybe God is taking her in a direction that B can't go. And once she let's go of it she will be accelerated into her purpose.
I’m the avoidant and it overwhelms me when people want to talk everyday. Now I don’t have any friends because I pushed them all away. I won’t lie, sometimes it gets lonely but I don’t miss the stress of having to support a friends every move in life! I had a friend that would want to talk everyday and wanting my input on her decisions. I’m more of a “do you and hit me when you need me type”.
I feel you! I was a friend Person but i was being drained for years! Now i dont talk on the phone with women let alone everyday because its draining. I dont have so called “friends” either but i enjoy my life and time more.
@@matureblackfemalepodcast omg I thought I was alone in this wow. I no longer talk on the phone with women “friends” it waaaay too draining to constantly be trying to coach them through their everyday lives. I wish them all the best thou, no hard feelings I just can not.
@@karamitchell4627her friend has been there for her through her bad times. B Simone has healed now so she’s moving on …. Until she has another glitch then needs her friend! B Simone has always come across as self absorbed that doesn’t read the room. She only wants to maintain the friendship now to ensure her money doesn’t get messed up. It’s all come to a head since Jackie died!
Believe it or not this is very common in relationships. As you get older you learn that some relationships are for a season while others are for a lifetime.
UPDATE!!! I just saw that Meg has started her own channel and podcast called “In Totality”!!! I BELIEVE this will be a blessing and great for their friendship to separate the business from the relationship. My prayer is that the friendship is repairable and both are still willing🙏🏽💜💯🙌🏽 B. Simone sounds TIRED…I have been there. I felt like she was struggling to dim her light /shrink herself to make Meg more comfortable. Thats hard. I have followed B and she is just her. Huge personality. It seems like she has exhausted everything she knows to do, short of becoming another person. Meg also seems to suffer from depression…I have dealt with that in a friendship too…its also hard. Those type of friends ARE VERY NEEDY AND EXHAUSTING. Trust me. I eventually had to let that friendship go. I hope/pray they can work things out.
Here us go. W/ the light verses dark scenario. If that's the case. How come she was farting @ table. Licking and touching all the food tht she promise meg 🤔. The first time or two she brought her out as one of the 25 best friends? This was yrs ago. And I would of threw up. I mean every mukbang simone would do tht. Being difficult on purpose. Tf
Avoidant attached and emotionally unavailable are the worst. Most people like to stay surface rather than address feelings. I feel bad for Meg. She's been through a lot.
I think sometimes people lean on their friends in ways that they should be leaning on a spouse or God. They start to expect a lot emotionally and otherwise and don’t see how that can be extremely draining, only how the other person isn’t meeting their need.
It annoys me that people act like you’re not allowed to change your mind about things 😭 If I’m honest making me feel bad only makes me want to (key word) AVOID agreeing to or making any plans in the future. It feels like emotional manipulation although I know people are allowed to be disappointed. I can say confidently that I have NEVER even upset about canceled plans with a friend. I much prefer to be at home alone anyway😭
Exactly! Ppl are not obligated to serve you or provide for you but B.Simone does. And after a while of feeling like what your doing is not enough you stop and detach yourself
Wow!!! Talk about detachment!!! I feel so sorry for you all to not know what real friendship means!!!!!! And I was on the cusp of not experiencing it either…😣😣😣😣please FORM REALLY RELATIONSHIPS!!!
Being a people pleaser can get you in BAD situations and can compromise your character. Healing is definitely needed. Thank God I was able to heal from being a people pleaser.
This is why i dont befriend people that do not communicate similarly. I also look for similar emotional stance. I also look for friends that adapt. Adaptation and compromise can truly help.
I loved this breakdown so much! So many people are choosing sides and the truth is WE DONT KNOW EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED. Sometimes friends grow apart and it really sucks but that is a part of life
I’m only about 7 min into this video. But having been a fan of BSimone first, simply based off a book/journal that I read from her and learning of her transition and rise from Texas to Ohio to Georgia betting on herself. Then emerged Megan Ashley from the background and I saw myself in her. I deeply identified with how she processes information...with how she internalizes and shows up in the world and it all made sense to me, because I’ve had people in my life who saw something in me that could serve them. But once that purpose was fulfilled, they no longer showed up in the relationship the same or they may have faded away. That’s why I’ve always been told to “Pick your friends. Don’t let them pick you.” Megan has been there through the rise of BSimone Beauty. She was there when people wanted to cancel B Simone. Then, Megan picked up and moved her life (family) out of Ohio to be with B Simone to build KFS. Idk if B Simone was expecting that she could continue to show up in a superficial way like she has in the past. But Megan strikes me as a straight shooter; a deep, authentic soul who cherishes and values REAL RELATIONSHIP...and sadly, when it got real that Megan couldn’t simply show up with a mask on to work from day to day/week to week as they were batching content, B Simone was like, let’s focus on the business...let’s focus on the purpose (paraphrasing). I was triggered in that moment, because she spoke of their relationship/friendship almost as if it was disposable. Meanwhile, Megan made the sacrifice, stepped outside her comfort zone to be alongside her friend and was going through the toughest time (divorce). It seems like (based upon previously convos/episodes that they’ve had) B Simone didn’t show up and hold Megan down in the ways that she has for B. The way that B Simone just stripped her page of all things Megan Ashley and KFS and got what she needed....Man, I’ll never look at B Simone the same. God makes no mistakes, as it pertains to the way Megan has impacted others with the power of her voice, influence and heart posture, and has grown. But we as die hard fans felt the impact and I can’t rock with someone who appears to be selfish, disloyal and self serving.
@@trapmomlaydi9242what's the backstory of Jackie? I have since found out the story of Jackie is BSim tried to monetise on her death, charging people to see her grieve on her Close Friends (private insta).
Something that I noticed in life in general is that the person who comes off as more "emotionally vulnerable" and in their feelings is usually the person who is perceived to be in the right, the "good" or sweet one automatically. When in reality that could be true or they could be the toxic co-dependant, draining, overly needy one who expects others to fill their inner issues and holes, constantly dumping on the other person. One grows exhausted from always having to fix things and hold the other up emotionally (be their strength). We have to be careful because it's easy to automatically peg the emotional person as the "victim" and feel sorry for them. I've been duped by a few. Lol
This makes me sad because i feel like theyre one of the podcasts that focus on GOD and I honestly feel like the devil attacked their relationship to stop the podcast.
We have to normalize friendships growing apart and if they don't desire to mend that friendship so be it....We don't understand what has transpired between them and it might've been a situation where even if they are able to forgive, their relationship may never be the same again
I enjoy both of them, but I feel like B Simone based on her current life style, single life, no kids, etc allows her to continue a selfish mindset that we all have when we are young. Megan, having been a parent, wife, etc for years has had to learn to think of others, accommodate, and adjust for a bigger picture. To me, that clash is something I feel I’ve experienced also. It’s hard because there’s no way for B Simone to grow past that without the actual life experience to do so. Just my opinion. With love. ❤
So she is selfish because she chose to be single and not have kids? And this is coming from a mother of 4. I see it as she is tired. She has put so many ppl in positions to thrive including Ashley and I'm sure financially she finds Ashley lifestyle sometimes ppl get tired and that's okay. It's okay for people to think about themselves that does not make her selfish
@@genesiahouston5977 It’s important to read comments with context and not feel offended at an angle you’ve chosen to receive it in. I actually said “a selfish mindset” which in reality, is different than being an overall selfish person. I have lived both with and without children obviously, and can understand the liberty to live life in a more self centered mindset without having the responsibility of children to consider. I believe that a perfectly normal stage in life that everyone lives through. If you can’t understand that there can be great differences in mindset and between friendships with very different lifestyles and that it’s a very common occurrence, then you haven’t had enough life experience.
So, i think you’re spot on regarding the attachment styles but, I think this conversation sheds more light on how each of them is handling the issue at hand. I think Megs responses are coded to protect the business. She’s very carefully choosing her words and I think that’s to save the reputation of her friend. As you listen, B seems to lack empathy and B seems to lack some accountability. From what I got from this, B made a decision without considering the input from Meg. This decision ultimately affected everything around them, so badly, even their friendship. And as we observe how B is responding, we can see she doesn’t care, she feels solid in her decision because although it may have affected them, it benefitted her….we don’t know what this decision was. Meg wants to stay friends, B doesn’t want the friendship. At all. She’s willing to be friends ONLY for the sake of the “purpose” (show). Should the show (purpose) fail, the friendship does too 🤷🏾♀️ and her tone and dismissive shows that she is alright with that. I listened (and watched) this objectively and this is what I gathered. Either way, if the friendship is severed, maybe it was purposeful. Maybe this was just a season for the both of them. It sucks, it’s not a good feeling, but sometimes that’s the harsh truth of relationships 😓 Either way, I wish them both light ✨
As an anxiously attached person this is exactly the dynamic in my friendship with my best friend. I tried to explained to her how I started to feel emotionally unsafe with her and as an avoidant person she really couldn’t understand/accept it. * also attachment styles can change or look different depending on the dynamic*
@@princessfly9052 I went to therapy which is why I’m able to speak on this topic. At the end of the day if you don’t like how someone is treating you, you have the right to advocate and speak up for yourself.
I remember Tony Gaskin told them to stand together that the devil will come for what they have which is their friendship because they are on a different movement for women of this generation. Few months later B Simeon said they are having issues, Tony said it!!!! I wish they had the strength to have stand strong. Megan is going through a divorce, B is going through a transition with her spirituality which she needs somebody like Megan by her side and I'm sure she can't always be there for her. Mehn this is a whole lot, I've never been this heartbroken for a friendship break up like this the last time I did was onscreen friendship of Issa and Molly from insecure.
One of the hardest aspects of a long-term/close friendship is grieving what it used to be and coming to the realization of what it will be moving forward. I wouldn't say their friendship is over. It's just changing. And that can be challenging
Nahits done. B Simone doesn’t value it anymore and feels she has outgrown Meg. But Meg’s new podcast The Totality is going to THRIVE and this all needed to happen.
I don't think they were in a close phase in their long friendship. What served them as friends when they were younger no longer serves them. Due to them spending more time together, they have unearthed the differences in who they are. It's hard to manage issues that are happening in real time while doing business together.
Real rap I separated from my best friend in my 20s and it was the most painful heartbreak I ever experienced. If I can let go of her I can let go of anyone 💁🏽♀️ it makes me think that’s where I get the strength to be savage to these dudes
This convo made me realize why certain friendships can't work based on the attachment style. I realized I anxiously attach and my ex best friend was 100% dismissive.
It’s sad to see, but I love that they are going to counseling for their friendship. Too many females tend to drop their girl friends like a hot potato but give their “repeat offender” man multiple chances; so it’s good to see B & Megan work on a process to understand the season their friendship is in. I pray their friendship comes out stronger through this 🙏🏾💕
And this part. My ex best friend is still kicking it with a dude that made it clear that he only wanted to spend time with her alone to better his chances of getting his peen wet and her baby daddy called her a jump off and barely sees the kids, but she still deals with him……..but I stand my ground ONE TIME and I’m cut off……chiiiilllleeeee
Ok. Hear me out. This could be a stretch, but… could this have something to do with Megan starting to be more in the forefront that is changing the dynamic of the relationship? At first B. Simone was the star and you saw her all over Black IG and Black Twitter. Then they start the podcast, and all of a sudden, I’m seeing Megan’s face everywhere. I didn’t even know they had a podcast but I was often being sent clips of something Megan said with B just in the “Amen” corner. And Megan started to create her own fan base. Is it possible B. Simone only thought Megan would remain in her shadow and once she started to shine, B started pulling away from the friendship…??
I totally agree with you. I have been following B-Simone for almost 10 years. You could clearly see the changes in their friendship on the podcast. It's really sad to see. I love their friendship. They were there for each other through so much, that includes the good and the bad. I pray they get through this.
I dated an avoidant and baby let me tell you. I CRIED and CRIED!!! They emotionally check out far before you are aware of what is happening. It's the worst.
I think this is one of the realest discussions they’ve had and many people can relate if they’re honest. I’ve silently stepped away from a few friendships
I’m sorry but Meghan seems to be an emotionally taxing friend. She’s expecting way too much (emotionally) from a friend. And I feel that she’s not giving B the grace to sometimes fail. Also they’ve been friends for 20 years but didn’t talk for 10. That let’s you know that this friendship broke down a long time ago.
Meghan is also going through a separation which is a big change so maybe her expectations have increased too. Wishing them both peace and happiness on their individual journeys right now and hope they can mend the relationship
As a therapist and an anxiously attached person, it's really important to have several lillypads in your socioemotional pond. There is a tendency to focus and become dependent on one source for all of your needs and if you're paired with an avoidant this becomes a problem because awareness of this dependence activates the avoidant to become distant and it feels necessary and freeing for them. Both anxious and avoidant styles need balance but because the injury of the distance in the relationship will likely be more painful for the anxiously attached, the perspective change is so important to mitigate trauma and feelings of low self worth. Having several ways to meet your own identified needs intrinsically instead of having to outsource is key.
This is so good. I am the avoidant one in one of my friendships and everything you have said is so spot on. I feel like I am her main source and when I was younger and childless I could manage it, well I’d say I was making a lot of sacrifices which were making me miserable but Now I just cannot do it I don’t have the time or capacity. She does have other friends who from the sounds of it seem to be the avoidant type too. I really would love for her to find someone who can meet that need for her. Maybe part of the issue is that she is not aware of her attachment style but she needs that person who she can call and speak to regularly and go out etc. do you have any advice for this?
I am thrilled to hear your perspective because I think what some anxiously attached people misinterpret is the fact that their anxious partner cares for them. I can sense that you really do love and care for your friend. Change process is such an intimate and personal journey so your friend changing her approach to her relationship with you is going to be entirely her work. The best thing to do is understand set LOVING boundaries around your time and she will "autocorrect" around that. Loving boundaries involve validating and understanding her while still creating space for what you need for yourself. Your boundaries have nothing to do with her - they are only there to protect you and your mental health. You are responsible to be a good friend to her by having integrity and being invested in her wellness but you are not responsible FOR her. It would be awesome of setting her up on a friend date would help but chances are, it won't work, because this is you trying to fix a situation that is not yours to fix. She will sort that out. It's also a good idea to try to understand yourself through this situation in terms of how you are feeling pressed by her friendship style and why - what does it bring up for you? Are there areas that could point to growth for you as well? If if there aren't any areas you can identify right now, it already seems like you have a better understanding of yourself through this dynamic. Sounds like you're an awesome friend.
My sis is a Pisces !! I understand her 100009%. B.Simone is being very nonchalant …. Meg will be sad for awhile but when she is done SHE WILL BE DONE!!!!!
B Simone is an Aries. I am as well but I feel Meg. I get both perspectives but my heart goes out to Meg. The anxious and avoidant conflicts one another. I appreciate this video breakdown . Definitely has me as I am sure others self reflecting
@@LuLusQueenThat makes sense, I avoid y’all like the Plague. You can’t handle the spotlight being taken from you. And the Pisces in my opinion will always upstage the Aries in every aspect of life lol, they just lack the delusional to think they are god’s gift to the world. She didn’t leave her friend because she too emotional, she left her friend because she is a greedy hen fake god loving person 🤷🏾♀️
I had a great friendship in my early 20s that dissolved. I was anxious attachment. She was avoidant. 10 years later she called to check in on me. I did not reopen the door.
B sounds exhausted. People always look at the dismissive like a monster. We have watched her cry about how much she loves meg. Imagine what she has held back to turn into this nonchalant character. Sometimes you just turn off. I’m B in my friendship
I def turn off. I just learned this about myself. I try and try and try then one day im over it and there’s no longer emotions attached to it. It scared me honestly. When im tired im tried
you’ve hit the nail on the head.. you are very articulate, poise and very emotionally intelligent. you get a subscription from me just off this video alone! this also helped me understand more about my self and my relationships. THANK YOU. it’s rare to see black men so well versed in this specific area. 🎉
My friendship of almost 9 years with someone whom I considered a sister just ended 7 weeks ago today. It hit me like a ton of bricks that after all we've been through she would let a small disagreement lead to the ending of our friendship. I have always been a giver but the one time I say no she dismissed me like she never cared about me. I have every right to say no if something doesn't work for me and is not a good decision for my life. If the tables were turned I would absolutely respect that and move on. It's really sad because I love her and I love her son😢 I wish I could still at least have a relationship with him but unfortunately he's a casualty of war. I will miss the good times but life goes on💯
@@keishamaria2870 Honestly she knows how I am when someone wrongs me. Once I'm done there's no coming back. If she calls then yes we'll have a conversation but when I hang up my phone nothing changes. It's over for her💯 I have walked away years ago from people I still love til this day🤷🏽♀️
@Mclaren_karen So it sounds like you've never set boundaries in the friendship and your friend has gotten used to that. Now that you finally have by saying "No." She took it as an offense.. she definitely has some growing to do and is upset at having to now adjust for you. (and she should adjust!!) Sometimes that' is all it takes to unveil ones true nature and intent. I hope you will meet new friends who are better aligned with you.
Had an 8 year friendship end in the same as you because of not setting boundaries earlier on and the uncertainty as an fearful avoidant person. It’s sad but sis you’ve got this. May you flourish during this time after growing apart. Missing her son is inevitable. Healing will happen slowly but surely 💜
Exactly u get it! I understand Megan cse like u said it was built off friendship n b Simone tells her she just want the business relationship only so not only is that hurtful but the show is no longer authentic because the audience tuned in thinking we were watching a good decades old friendship
I feel that…. I don’t have anyone I call a best friend. I use to want that….but I’ve had people I called best friends and those relationships are no longer. My mom truly was my best friend God rest her soul 🕊️🌹
@Angelikah1 PRECISELY. I knew from YOUNG (12yrs old.) that labeling people "best friend" gives them a sense of "Self Importance" over other friends.. and a closer access to information to eventually inflict pain onto you. So I leave it to simply "Friend" and not many get that title.
I don’t know what transpired between these two behind closed doors, but I’ve been B Simone. My best friend of over 20 years was a great friend, but she was also draining and parasitic. They may go above and beyond for you because they care, but this can also be used as manipulation. B Simone is tired of Megan and wants space. This is why she sounds over it. B Simone could be crying at night about the loss of such a close friend, but she still knows that she needs to have some space in the friendship. I don’t even know Megan, but her spirit weighs me down. It’s a lot of energy to have a super close relationship with someone like that. It doesn’t mean they aren’t amazing and you don’t wish them well, but you can no longer handle a close relationship with them like that anymore. I also understand Megan feeling hurt and possibly even abandoned. Those feelings are valid too, but B Simone being captive in a friendship to make you happy isn’t fair to her. Maybe they’ll be able to circle back, but it’s also ok if they don’t.
I agree with you! I always felt like Megan required a lot from B. Simone. I felt like B. Simone had to walk on egg shells or always agree with Megan on the podcast. I remember Jackie (RIP) told a story of Megan calling B. Simone upset about something when B. was on vacation for Jackie’s Birthday.
All of this! Parasite type energy is correct. I hope she gets the help she needs. Sometimes this type of behavior is masked as sweet, emotionally mature or caring but it can be manipulative to constantly pull at someone that way then appear to be the victim when they want space.
yess thank you megan weight is heavy her spirit is off i can’t believe no one is on b Simone side because i completely understand where b is coming from meg is to bossy and such grandma b do need her space for those who are on meg side must worship the devil because how they can read her she not a good friend to me she the friend who will bring your ego down to make her ego better smh
I am literally experiencing this same thing. About a year ago I had to separate from a friend of mine of over 25 years and it hurt deeply, but the relationship was becoming exhausting. I think she is a wonderful person, I really do. But what you said about manipulation and going above and beyond hit the nail on the head. I was starting to feel obligated to her. I also recently lost a best friend to cancer, and a part of me was feeling like this other friend was trying to take her spot. It was kinda weird. I still love this friend and I pray for her often, but I had to put distance between us.
I just think B. Simone is an inauthentic person. Until she finds who she truly is she won’t be good for anyone else. She seems really selfish and self absorbed
Just because it’s seems like B’s style of friendship is often put down: Just because someone is the avoidant type rather than the anxious type doesn’t make them bad. The anxious often judge the avoidant instead of trying to show them the same understanding they want shown back to them. I also think I’m when it comes to B, if Meg expresses her need for B to show up, and then B does, but it’s critiqued or not appreciated because it’s not in the way that Meg needed, it can make someone feel like they were better off not trying to appease in the first place. If she knows B struggles in that area, but sees B putting forth effort, you have to give words of affirmation at the very least so that B knows she may have missed the mark, but Meg sees the effort. I think B wants to try to get it, but Meg does have high expectations, because truth is not everyone reciprocates love the way you do and that’s ok. Aside from what most call nonchalant I think B is tried of not meeting Megs mark, and of being emotionally overwhelmed. And that causes her to be void of emotion on the surface but just because Meg shows the emotion openly doesn’t mean B doesn’t feel hurt either, shes just better at the facade. I’m definitely someone who is like after so many times of not meeting your standards I’ll throw my hands up and move on. I think we also have to mention that it’s possible for anxious people to morph into an avoidant due to past failed relationships. I feel like I use to be the anxious empath but over time became the independent avoidant. I really don’t think B just wants a business relationship but I think she feels overwhelmed by all the emotions to where she’s like “well hell forget the friendship since we can’t seem to get that right, let’s just focus on business,” but I get Meg being like “naw we started as friends first and I can’t turn that part off,” if they want to keep the relationship there needs to be an acceptance of each other’s character. You either grow together or grow apart. I think Meg is constantly bringing up some sort of shortcoming of B so eventually it does translate into “doing everything from a fearful state,” or a “fear of criticism,” now can B do a better job of showing empathy to Meg OF COURSE. And I’m sure B showing Meg some consideration could do a long way, but the question becomes then what will Meg find then, that B will be in fear of disappointing her on next. I like friends who don’t take it personal when I disappear but can just right back in with me like I never left. Most times it’s not personal at all, but if you’re the anxious type, and you mention my absence to me, I’ll become apologetic because I’m like “oh no I didn’t mean it like that AT ALL, forgive me”. Part of it is knowing who you’re friends with, and either accepting that OR moving on if you can’t deal with it. This is why you can have multiple friends good at different things because expecting one person to be your ultimate friend isn’t realistic and is taxing on that individual. B can ask a direct question and Meg will tap dance around it and then get mad when B doesn’t correct what Meg did not convey. We don’t need a philosophical answer Meg just make it plain geez! Then when B is direct she gets wounded & Nobody ever really asks B what she has an issue as well if you think about it. It’s normally centered around how Meg feels. B definitely does have some maturing to do, but so does Meg. I don’t think separating just deals with your behavior but how over critiqued you can feel by someone else can also make you go into your shell. I agree with the the love expert woman, B should be direct but Meg has to not get offended when she is, and vice versa. And Meg has to make the issue clear. If we gotta keep having a heart to heart every 2 mos where you tell me how I’m not what you need ima start backing off too. Meg seems emotionally draining and that’s a turn off for the avoidant or hell for anyone who isn’t as emotional as she is. And with her being freshly divorced it’s like she’s wanting B to fill a void and that’s too much to put on anyone. If she just got divorced to her ex husband andddd recently lost a 20yr friend, she cannot try to victimize herself when she’s definitely playing a role too. She’s not the only one hurting. Her communication has to come up or she’s gonna have to stop complaining. Because it’s nitpicking atp! And she can’t force B to fill a void that really only God can do anyways. She just wore B out emotionally so B said F it. It’s like she was trying to change B. When not everything has to be formally spoken of. Somethings require prayer and the Holy Spirit to reconstruct someone’s heart. We miss things up trying to correct it all in our own strength!
I find that some women look towards their female friendships to fill that void in their life, whatever it may be. And truthfully, I don’t feel like that’s anyones responsibility. Friendships are suppose to enhance your life, but when you’re looking for your friends to fill the holes in your life, to me, that’s just expecting too much. It’s not my responsibility to cure your depression, mommy issues, anxiety etc. I can’t take those away from you nor is that my responsibility. I just feel like too much women project their inner issues onto their friendships. I also feel like too much women struggle with speaking up, enforcing boundaries and saying what they want, and will instead resent the friend who doesn’t struggle with that. I expect people to say what they want. If they don’t, how is that my fault? If I speak up, but you don’t, how is that unfair? Your inability to communicate isn’t on me - that’s a you problem. People just need to do the inner work instead of blaming their friends.
Thank you so much for this comment! I feel that sometimes women can put their friendships in the spousal/husband category and that is not healthy for ANYBODY.
I feel this wholeheartedly…to this day it still hurts separating from my best friend since 10th grade…but Jesus is maturing me into who He wants me to be and I don’t have time for regrets ❤
I felt this! Its been a year since I ended my friendship with my bestfriend since elementary school and I miss her but I definitely do not regret it!!! God is isolating me for a reason and Im going to be obedient and walk in my purpose according to his will! ❤🙌🏾
This video has helped me realize some things I've been dealing this past week or so. I have heard of attachment styles before but never knew how it worked or what styles I personally have. I've learned you can have multiple. So thank you for this breakdown because it's helping so many. I hope they can work it out or have peace with everything. Blessings to them 🙏🏽
Oh my goodness this analysis is so on point. The funniest part is it shed light to what was going on between my boyfriend and I. He is an avoidant dismissive, and while normally im secure, within the dynamics of our relationship i saw myself change from secure to becoming anxious. He would over promise like B and not keep up with his promises and this would annoy and trigger me because i do not like when people do not keep their promises. Fine, we passed that bridge. I felt like i was always compensating, too empathetic and understanding while he was not. The last straw was when he cancelled our plans for me to go visit him amidst my journey, lack of empathy displayed there. And then him being dismissive avoidant, he would often not solve the issues or want to talk about them asap. Finally before we could solve everything he went on a sabbatical. Is there even hope for such people with starkly different attachment styles? I feel like he doesnt care about me or the relationship just as B was dismissive of the friendship.
Being with someone who is avoidant can definitely take you down from secure to anxious. This is something I recently went through as well. It’s the worse feeling. My ex and I broke up because of it. The dynamic does not work over time. A man’s job in a relationship is to make us feel safe and secure. When that stops happening, what is the point of the relationship anymore?
But how can she be a fake friend when: 1. She is committed to working through it 2. She created an opportunity for herself and friend to make $ 3. They have had a friendship that has lasted 15+ years?
Baby!!! Kojo this couldn’t have come at a better time for me. Listening to this video has helped me think through a situation I’ve been going through with a friend who I can see has an avoidant attachment style. I have an anxious one and to see from the outside what that looks like is so helpful. I feel like this will help me to take some of the ways they act a little less personally but to also speak their style and try to be a little more direct (hold them to the fire) so I can figure out what’s going on when I start getting mixed signals.
Yeah...I don't do dismissive energy. It's so uncompromising and literally at the top of my list of intolerable behavior. Compassion doesn't live there and I can't deal. Never been a B Simone fan though so...I never "got it", how everyone else did.
It also should be mention, in my opinion, that the business relationship only approach is only realistic if this was a business that wasn’t completely centered around the two of them sitting down to have heart felt, light hearted, intimate conversations. Maybe if this was a store, or a clothing line, that would be realistic. To me, I can’t see how Bsimone actually felt they could continue a business relationship here without their friendship being in tact.
Thank you for the quality conversation concerning friendship. This helped me Ro reflect and evaluate who I am in my relationships. This felt like a therapy session❤️
This was a good topic and the way you covered it made so much sense. As friends it’s challenging to navigate when it comes to attachment styles because many don’t know how to address it with setting clear boundaries and too much responsibility is weighed on the years of what has been created within the friendship. If there was a clearer understanding without seeming dismissive or needs being met would benefit both parties away from the business side 🤷🏾♀️ as Meg said, we are human 🙏🏾 a lot of the comments highlighted friendships ending due to people changing. It’s ok to outgrow others with no bad blood present. This is something I learnt in my own female circle this year.
Through watching this I realized how dismissive I can be.. Especially after 18:22 to the very end of the vid. My relationship with disappointment is a feeling I could never phathom or explain until I heard that last half of the vid. But now that I've acknowledged it I can work on it
This is so good!! This is helping me in many ways… I went through a phase as a “B Simone”and later in life a Ashley phase.. now I can understand both sides find the balance and become a healthy individual!! And I was in a romantic relationship recently where as I was Ashley 100% but I get it now!! I feel better!! Because I need to be more direct and upfront and then not clingy and have such high expectations of others but have boundaries to what’s cool and what’s zero tolerance… BALANCE
This sounds exactly like me and an ex friend, i always felt like I was apologizing and walking around egg shells and found that unfair because I kept trying to go above and beyond for someone who felt like I wasn't doing enough. It's unfair on both sides, so I decided not to engage further. It's unfortunate but now that I can define it, it was for the best.
I feel like the death of Jacky really highlighted some issues that they may have been having and that they were able to cover up. I also feel that with them still grieving it affected how they interact with each other. I'm glad that they are willing to fight for their friendship. Hopefully, they work it out and have a stronger friendship after this.
That makes sense, the different attachment aspects in the friendship. I sometimes wondered why a past friendship felt like a relationship, it was weird, now I know.
Wow. This was so helpful to me. The way you broke the attachment styles down, literally told my story of how my last relationship went. This entire time I kept trying to figure out why everything just would not work out. Of course there were other factors but the attachment styles dictate how all of that is handled. Thank you and I appreciate your own transparency because I got to hear what it’s like from the other side. God bless you.
I've had the same friends since elementary school and one from high school and we are all bffs. With that being said, there are at least 2-3 avoidants in our group and the rest of us are anxiously attached, myself included. We made a family because our family dynamics were messed up. I would never in a million years give up on the avoidants. My friend Anu is avoidant but over the years has changed tremendously! Now shes attached! We all literally talked to her about our feelings and she changed so idk. We also changed for her and allowed her more space and this was all without counseling because we're in college. I think communication is key, even if its hard. I'm not the same in romantic relationships though, but I need my friends. Like we literally all say we wouldnt know what to do without each other and its true, we literally got through everything in our lives together so far.
I used to have the same friends since elementary but this year has definitely been a year of isolation for me. . .Im losing my childhood friends at a rapid rate and none of it makes sense. Im a little older though, so we've been through college and are now in our mid-late thirties so I pray that you guys can withstand the test of time because I never would've imagined that I wouldnt be talking to my bestfriends that have been in my life since 3rd/4th grade with no fallouts or major disagreements. It definitely hurts but I feel like whatever my next chapter is in life, I cant take them with me! 😔
@@NicoleC007 I'm sorry to hear that. It's okay to grow apart. I honestly believe we eventually will but not because of anything bad, we are entering new chapters of our lives like career wise and moving out of state. We will definitely be communicating less and focusing on our specific paths and that's okay, that happens to everyone.
This was a great take on their friendship. I’m the Megan type and it’s difficult to navigate friendships with people that seemingly don’t take things serious. I really hope they can work things out and it’s encouraging that they’re trying so hard…most people just give up.
Sir, I came here for a quick analysis on the friendship of these women! I didn't expect to get my edges snatched up. I really appreciate this video and needed it.
Might I add, as a person who is on the cusp of water sign and fire sign, im BOTH STYLES in ONE. It depends on who the person is and how deeply I love them. My attachment style will change accordingly. I match energy. I’m fluid like that. I don’t come in one size fits all. But I find I can be avoidant to other avoidants and we carry on seamlessly. We can even ghost each other peacefully. But I also find that those who annoy me bc they are over sensitive, and I might not have a deep enough love/like for them that my attachment style becomes avoidant bc I want them off my trail or I want to toughen them up a bit. That rarely works clearly, but it does get them off your trail with the cry baby energy. I’m a cancer Leo cusp with Virgo rise and Sag moon so I can shift and match pretty much all emotions seamlessly, but with so much fire can tend to think sensitive people are a bit more miserable and no fun. A complete drip. So I become avoidant to keep from losing my mind when around them. I have to brush what they do OFF bc it triggers me bc sappy miserable complaining energy is triggering. I’m a pretty tough Cancerean due to so much fire. But I know how and when it’s time to be very sensitive. But some people just love to dwell is dark dank energy. Not caring or considering how much they kill the vibes and that’s when it’s time to take flight. Avoidant personality to the rescue. I gotta feeling we all sort of move around differently according to how unnerving the other person is. And how deeply we love and care about their emotional state. Good post
I don’t know if that’s how attachment style works. It’s developed in the first 3 years of your life on earth. It’s hard coded. You simply sound like a purely Dismissive Avoidant. friend.
I will be subscribing to your channel. It is nice to see a black man discuss these things. Loved your break down, vulnerability, and for linking us to other insightful material I.e. Diary of a CEO with Steven Bartlett and love coach Logan Ury.
I realized that my long-time friends from childhood were all trauma bonds. My reasons for having friendships with them make no sense now, and it took the death of my brother in 2023 to re-evaluate how I was choosing my friends in the first place. If I ran it down right now, it would be shameful. Now that I'm healed from the trauma and can see with different eyes who my friends were, I discovered that I was not pleased with who they were and how they existed in my life. So, I decided to start over. Now, my friendships are established in a healthy place.
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.” There were so many things that were said throughout the journey of KFS that were very telling of the type of friend is and the type of friend Megan is. Idk if it was truly a mutual separation in the end after they sought prayer, covering, therapy etc. But I’m glad that Megan got out of there. Because she wasn’t emotionally safe, and while she still grieves the end of a marriage, she needs people in her corner who are SOLID.
The saddest part about this is B Simone came to Christ through this friendship. Man we are really rationalizing a lot of things that I truly believe is a result of Meology/Narcissistic Christianity. When you first come to Christ all your default mechanisms comes to the surface. And the attitude and the dismissiveness we can all judge because we have no skin in the game but what if Megan actually lifted her up in prayer. Therapy only gives some light but there’s a place that prayer of a friend can go that therapy doesn’t reach. We’ve gotten so far by saying “don’t spiritualize everything” that we forget that MANY things are spiritual. And this is an example of that. The enemy prefers us broken. And any relationship (marriage or friendship) that could provide some healing and IMPORTANTLY SALVATION will be attacked. I’m back here after listening to B Simone on Sarah Jakes podcast . God truly help us all
I would watch their interactions and silently grieve the relationship I once had with my estranged bff. I have been incapable of manufacturing a similar relationship because the loss was so great I would rather never go through that again. I also realize how difficult navigating these long term friendships can be when things pile up over the years and the relationship is no longer what it was and you’re not sure how to move past it. You start realizing the things that are wrong or how this person is not showing up for you or reciprocating in the way you feel they should but you also dont know how to tell them either and the relationship continues to deteriorate and its no longer easy or fun and it seems easier to just let it go 💔
Knowing your friends love language is everything. Two people coming together can be difficult on its own, unhealed trauma will affect the relationship if they dont take time to work on themselves. If we can understand each other as individuals & leave expectations to the side this wouldn't be a problem.
Bro!!! You are liquid gold Man. Kudos to you!!! You are hitting this nail right on the head. I don't know if you really realize how you are helping people by breaking this stuff down to the lowest common denominator because a lot of us can't understand our own selves when it comes to emotional attachment vs emotional detachment. You just helped me more then you could even know and here's why...I am actually both of them. I am a hybrid. I can be both B Simone or Meghan, it just depends on the mood and who you have shown yourself to be with me through out time. I usually adjust according to the person. I can even start one way but depending upon what traits you start to display with me this, could shift me to the other way. I never understood why I do that but you just helped me! Thank you!! In the end it is usually due to trauma that you have experience over your life time. Different people handle others differently according to that. I remember for years when I was more like Meghan but I also remember when I became more like B Simone now, its a balancing act of the two. What I find is honesty is the best policy but with tact. I am real good at it too...lol. You my friend deserve an award for your understanding of this subject, the context in which you have laid it out, and the commentary you have provided in general. You are very emotionally mature and you get it! Keep up the great work.👏
OMG 😳 I’m realizing I’m a Avoidant friend but I’m also an empath it’s just the insanity part of relationships that drain me; I believe me being an introvert is another reason why as well. Love the video very eye opening for me.
Megan has CHILDREN!!! And the level of empathy, forethought, “showing up” and holding true to these characteristics out of LOVE s Fear- I’m sure has a great deal to do with her being a PARENT!! Parents **CANT** move contrary to their word- irregardless of FEELINGS!! Where Megan is as a parent, B. Simone is as a business owner.
Damn I haven't even finished this and this shit is already hitting homeeeeeeeee! I just got out of a friendship/relationship dynamic like this. I am the anxious style and my ex was avoidant, but the way you broke down where their avoidancy comes from and how it's from consistently being disappointed that they don't want to disappoint or feel bad about themselves is exactly what was being told to me. It's really crazy because all we want is to feel loved and feel like our partner is trying to show up but when they're already fearful of disappointing it hurts. Crazy deep. Love this.
I love how your broke this down. We are complex as people and I’m relationships with each other. It takes a lot of understanding and choosing to do that level of work to see anothers perspective but also sometimes after you’ve done all you can, it’s okay to walk way.
This was such a great explanation. I hate that so many people are bashing and turning on B when no one knows the foundation of what caused the separation or understanding where she’s coming from. I think the two just need to understand how they both operate and make the decision to change for the sake of the relationship. I wish them both the best
This guy hit it exactly on the head. I wasn’t aware of “attachment styles” but I always would describe me and my former best friends relationship this same way without the terminology. I’m more of a loner and my bf couldn’t live without talking to me. I knew that abandonment was an issue for her so I wanted to tread lightly. She couldn’t take the hints. Finally on my birthday this year it boiled over to where I told her I needed a break! I work with ppl all day I don’t want to always be thinkin or having a conversation, I just want silence! We have spoken once since that day and she thought I was abandoning her when in reality I was telling her 24/7 how I felt stagnant and maybe we’re on 2 different pages after 10 years of solid friendship. All that to say I understand both of their points and I think maybe they outgrew eachother 🤷🏽♂️
I lowkey feel like B didnt want to do the podcast anymore, maybe she realized how much she had to give up and sacrifice by living a God-fearing life now shes blaming Megan and their friendship for "lacking" 🤷♀️ someone commented that they're unequally yoked and i agree !
This was a really great vid. We are talking about attachment styles in my therapy sessions currently. And I relate so much to what is being discussed in this video and in the comments. Great job on the breakdown.
This is really what happens when you have a friend who suffers w mental health issues like depression etc. They have to force themselves to be there for you because some days they don’t even want to leave the bed, but they do, it feels forced, and you feel slighted and take it to heart. I know because I have a few mental health issues, and I don’t have any friends.. then I’m an Aries like b Simone, and I know once we feel misunderstood, it’s just a wrap.
Most Fire signs are avoidant. We don’t do overly emotional people very well. I couldn’t understand why here lately I’ve become more avoidant than usual. I’m seeing more & more how draining people can be & to cope I’ve been avoiding people every chance I get as I’m a very upbeat, outgoing, don’t let anything keep me down type of individual. I no longer want to be responsible for other people & their s***. It’s difficult because I want to be there for people, but some just come with too much. 😪
unpopular opinion: old friendships should stay in the past. I always thought that about this scenario especially.. they stopped being friends for a reason. And those same issues came right back up.
Hmm do yall remember when MsJackyO died? She was charging close friends to see how she was grieving on IG. I understand B Simone is focused on getting to bag right now, but she won’t feel fulfilled if she continues this way.
Aww, I’m so saddened to hear this. I really loved their friendship and they spoke volumes to women across the globe. They had such a authentic bond well at least from the outside looking in. This honestly breaks my heart, because their friendship appeared to be healthy and genuine. 😢💔
Whew! This was so good and to the point. I’m now learning about attachment styles and being aware your attachment styles and the attachment styles of those around you is so powerful. It could literally save your relationships or make you aware of the people who are just not meant to be in your life.
For so many years ive avoided female friendships due too much complications and trust issues.. when i got to my 30s i opened up to female friendships only to prove my point on how females are.. some stayed and i call sis some got deleted permanently out of my life
If some stayed then it actually didn’t prove it because if that be the case you wouldn’t have kept any of them. Not every friendship is meant to workout
@@shauntalove8413 “only to my point of how some females are.” You generalized it as if all women are that way but then stated you kept some because you trust them so it’s “some” are that way not all which does not prove your point. Not an argument it’s just a correction
Ppl also aren’t talking abt what Covid did to us. Some ppl r really detached, lonely or very unpleasant. Ppl hv forgotten how to be around ppl in the flesh. Be considerate. It’s crazy.
Whew when I tell you I have been where Megan was!!! As someone who was once married, living vicariously through my mate. That when we separated, I didn’t know who I was. There was no in dependency. I was latching on to people, places and things and sensed the distance. I had to distant myself and understand who I was and who I am now! That understanding is a never ending journey because there’s a lot of twist and dips in the road. That same road will always lead straight if you know and understand your purpose! Blessings to both women! I too had to drop people off. Changed my number and dipped. When you realize people around you aren’t in alignment with your purpose, dropping people places and things come easy because you recognize your purpose in the midst of it. Sending an abundance of love and stillness to these ladies. 🪬🌟✨✨✨🫰🏽🌹
I was in both of these shoes 👞 I was a dismissive person & grew into a person who was “afraid to let go.” But really, ik how it feels to be dismissive to someone who really care and is invested. So, I become more understanding, hoping the other person would be able to communicate their feelings & it comes off as a chase or “I can’t let go”
Breaking up with a close friend is worse than a relationship. It is tough!
Girl, my lips start quivering when I talk about letting go of a 25 year friendship in 2022. It’s gut wrenching!!
@@kenyafromcali I’ll never forget the fallout. Her words cut me deep and threw me into a wild depression that i wasn’t even aware i was in. Worst heartbreak ever
@@tiffianyheard7229😊
Yep, been there.
It is
Megan just went through a divorce and now feels like shes losing her best friend...thats a lot on one person..but I really want Megan to look at this in a different way. Maybe God is taking her in a direction that B can't go. And once she let's go of it she will be accelerated into her purpose.
Yeah Meghan seemed more spiritually intoned with God than B. Simone.
I feel this
Bingo!
THIS IS IT‼️
This the one right here!!!
I’m the avoidant and it overwhelms me when people want to talk everyday. Now I don’t have any friends because I pushed them all away. I won’t lie, sometimes it gets lonely but I don’t miss the stress of having to support a friends every move in life! I had a friend that would want to talk everyday and wanting my input on her decisions. I’m more of a “do you and hit me when you need me type”.
Same❤
I feel you! I was a friend Person but i was being drained for years! Now i dont talk on the phone with women let alone everyday because its draining. I dont have so called “friends” either but i enjoy my life and time more.
@@matureblackfemalepodcast omg I thought I was alone in this wow. I no longer talk on the phone with women “friends” it waaaay too draining to constantly be trying to coach them through their everyday lives. I wish them all the best thou, no hard feelings I just can not.
I’m a fearful avoidant, and this is SO ME! 😅
Same!
B Simone saying that she wants the business only is wild because their whole business is centered around their FRIENDSHIP! 😭
I wonder…is that Hollywood…fake friendships…? Is that what BSimone used to now?
@@karamitchell4627her friend has been there for her through her bad times. B Simone has healed now so she’s moving on …. Until she has another glitch then needs her friend! B Simone has always come across as self absorbed that doesn’t read the room. She only wants to maintain the friendship now to ensure her money doesn’t get messed up. It’s all come to a head since Jackie died!
See that’s why I see BSimone as the one who takes up all the space - her agenda comes first
We watched her sale her grieving videos from Jackie O 0”passing. Sad
B always seemed funny to me from the jump
Believe it or not this is very common in relationships. As you get older you learn that some relationships are for a season while others are for a lifetime.
Yes
💯💯💯
not true. because you all are married to cheating, lazy and manipulative men for 50 years
Facts. I definitely been there
🎯🎯🎯
UPDATE!!! I just saw that Meg has started her own channel and podcast called “In Totality”!!! I BELIEVE this will be a blessing and great for their friendship to separate the business from the relationship. My prayer is that the friendship is repairable and both are still willing🙏🏽💜💯🙌🏽
B. Simone sounds TIRED…I have been there. I felt like she was struggling to dim her light /shrink herself to make Meg more comfortable. Thats hard. I have followed B and she is just her. Huge personality. It seems like she has exhausted everything she knows to do, short of becoming another person.
Meg also seems to suffer from depression…I have dealt with that in a friendship too…its also hard. Those type of friends ARE VERY NEEDY AND EXHAUSTING. Trust me. I eventually had to let that friendship go. I hope/pray they can work things out.
Here us go. W/ the light verses dark scenario. If that's the case. How come she was farting @ table. Licking and touching all the food tht she promise meg 🤔. The first time or two she brought her out as one of the 25 best friends? This was yrs ago. And I would of threw up. I mean every mukbang simone would do tht. Being difficult on purpose. Tf
@@JusahGemwho the hell said anything about light skin versus dark skin
@@honeyjohnson8536reading comprehension 101 lol
@@honeyjohnson8536I understood what you were saying and I agree
Avoidant attached and emotionally unavailable are the worst. Most people like to stay surface rather than address feelings. I feel bad for Meg. She's been through a lot.
I think sometimes people lean on their friends in ways that they should be leaning on a spouse or God. They start to expect a lot emotionally and otherwise and don’t see how that can be extremely draining, only how the other person isn’t meeting their need.
It annoys me that people act like you’re not allowed to change your mind about things 😭 If I’m honest making me feel bad only makes me want to (key word) AVOID agreeing to or making any plans in the future. It feels like emotional manipulation although I know people are allowed to be disappointed. I can say confidently that I have NEVER even upset about canceled plans with a friend. I much prefer to be at home alone anyway😭
Yeesss I had to tell one friend. The help u need I can't help u. U need God sweetie
Exactly! Ppl are not obligated to serve you or provide for you but B.Simone does. And after a while of feeling like what your doing is not enough you stop and detach yourself
Megan definitely would agree with this statement
Wow!!! Talk about detachment!!! I feel so sorry for you all to not know what real friendship means!!!!!! And I was on the cusp of not experiencing it either…😣😣😣😣please FORM REALLY RELATIONSHIPS!!!
Being a people pleaser can get you in BAD situations and can compromise your character. Healing is definitely needed. Thank God I was able to heal from being a people pleaser.
Amen
This is why i dont befriend people that do not communicate similarly. I also look for similar emotional stance. I also look for friends that adapt. Adaptation and compromise can truly help.
I loved this breakdown so much! So many people are choosing sides and the truth is WE DONT KNOW EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED. Sometimes friends grow apart and it really sucks but that is a part of life
This. ❤❤❤
I’m only about 7 min into this video. But having been a fan of BSimone first, simply based off a book/journal that I read from her and learning of her transition and rise from Texas to Ohio to Georgia betting on herself. Then emerged Megan Ashley from the background and I saw myself in her. I deeply identified with how she processes information...with how she internalizes and shows up in the world and it all made sense to me, because I’ve had people in my life who saw something in me that could serve them. But once that purpose was fulfilled, they no longer showed up in the relationship the same or they may have faded away. That’s why I’ve always been told to “Pick your friends. Don’t let them pick you.” Megan has been there through the rise of BSimone Beauty. She was there when people wanted to cancel B Simone. Then, Megan picked up and moved her life (family) out of Ohio to be with B Simone to build KFS. Idk if B Simone was expecting that she could continue to show up in a superficial way like she has in the past. But Megan strikes me as a straight shooter; a deep, authentic soul who cherishes and values REAL RELATIONSHIP...and sadly, when it got real that Megan couldn’t simply show up with a mask on to work from day to day/week to week as they were batching content, B Simone was like, let’s focus on the business...let’s focus on the purpose (paraphrasing). I was triggered in that moment, because she spoke of their relationship/friendship almost as if it was disposable. Meanwhile, Megan made the sacrifice, stepped outside her comfort zone to be alongside her friend and was going through the toughest time (divorce). It seems like (based upon previously convos/episodes that they’ve had) B Simone didn’t show up and hold Megan down in the ways that she has for B. The way that B Simone just stripped her page of all things Megan Ashley and KFS and got what she needed....Man, I’ll never look at B Simone the same. God makes no mistakes, as it pertains to the way Megan has impacted others with the power of her voice, influence and heart posture, and has grown. But we as die hard fans felt the impact and I can’t rock with someone who appears to be selfish, disloyal and self serving.
This is exactly how I feel.
Same.
I didn’t trust her when Jackie died ❤ and she made it about her (B.S)
@@trapmomlaydi9242what's the backstory of Jackie?
I have since found out the story of Jackie is BSim tried to monetise on her death, charging people to see her grieve on her Close Friends (private insta).
You put it soo beautifully..B is getting more fake and money driven
Something that I noticed in life in general is that the person who comes off as more "emotionally vulnerable" and in their feelings is usually the person who is perceived to be in the right, the "good" or sweet one automatically. When in reality that could be true or they could be the toxic co-dependant, draining, overly needy one who expects others to fill their inner issues and holes, constantly dumping on the other person. One grows exhausted from always having to fix things and hold the other up emotionally (be their strength). We have to be careful because it's easy to automatically peg the emotional person as the "victim" and feel sorry for them.
I've been duped by a few. Lol
good point
This!
You are so correct 👏🏽
I can agree …cause B probably feel emotionally and mentally taxed behind closed doors…I feel it in her tone 💯
This is GOOD!
This makes me sad because i feel like theyre one of the podcasts that focus on GOD and I honestly feel like the devil attacked their relationship to stop the podcast.
I 100% agree.
Yesss I remember writing a comment praying this didnt happen. The devil knew they had power to impact many and bring them to God!
Amen‼️‼️
I disagree. That was a season for and now it’s done. B Simone and Megan friendship always seem unequally yoked.
Feelings, feelings, feelings smh. Women act on enotion, men deal with reality
We have to normalize friendships growing apart and if they don't desire to mend that friendship so be it....We don't understand what has transpired between them and it might've been a situation where even if they are able to forgive, their relationship may never be the same again
So true!!
I enjoy both of them, but I feel like B Simone based on her current life style, single life, no kids, etc allows her to continue a selfish mindset that we all have when we are young. Megan, having been a parent, wife, etc for years has had to learn to think of others, accommodate, and adjust for a bigger picture. To me, that clash is something I feel I’ve experienced also. It’s hard because there’s no way for B Simone to grow past that without the actual life experience to do so. Just my opinion. With love. ❤
Great perspective
Very insightful.
Good point!
So she is selfish because she chose to be single and not have kids? And this is coming from a mother of 4. I see it as she is tired. She has put so many ppl in positions to thrive including Ashley and I'm sure financially she finds Ashley lifestyle sometimes ppl get tired and that's okay. It's okay for people to think about themselves that does not make her selfish
@@genesiahouston5977 It’s important to read comments with context and not feel offended at an angle you’ve chosen to receive it in. I actually said “a selfish mindset” which in reality, is different than being an overall selfish person. I have lived both with and without children obviously, and can understand the liberty to live life in a more self centered mindset without having the responsibility of children to consider. I believe that a perfectly normal stage in life that everyone lives through. If you can’t understand that there can be great differences in mindset and between friendships with very different lifestyles and that it’s a very common occurrence, then you haven’t had enough life experience.
So, i think you’re spot on regarding the attachment styles but, I think this conversation sheds more light on how each of them is handling the issue at hand. I think Megs responses are coded to protect the business. She’s very carefully choosing her words and I think that’s to save the reputation of her friend. As you listen, B seems to lack empathy and B seems to lack some accountability. From what I got from this, B made a decision without considering the input from Meg. This decision ultimately affected everything around them, so badly, even their friendship. And as we observe how B is responding, we can see she doesn’t care, she feels solid in her decision because although it may have affected them, it benefitted her….we don’t know what this decision was. Meg wants to stay friends, B doesn’t want the friendship. At all. She’s willing to be friends ONLY for the sake of the “purpose” (show). Should the show (purpose) fail, the friendship does too 🤷🏾♀️ and her tone and dismissive shows that she is alright with that. I listened (and watched) this objectively and this is what I gathered. Either way, if the friendship is severed, maybe it was purposeful. Maybe this was just a season for the both of them. It sucks, it’s not a good feeling, but sometimes that’s the harsh truth of relationships 😓 Either way, I wish them both light ✨
LOVE this take! Sounds objective, fair, balanced, and full of hope as I think the dance of relationships ought to be as we all grow up!
As an anxiously attached person this is exactly the dynamic in my friendship with my best friend. I tried to explained to her how I started to feel emotionally unsafe with her and as an avoidant person she really couldn’t understand/accept it.
* also attachment styles can change or look different depending on the dynamic*
Smh u need to have therapy nobody has time for that
@@princessfly9052 You might want to consider some yourself if empathy is something you consistently lack.
This is wild. So people really feel this way with friends ?
@@princessfly9052 I went to therapy which is why I’m able to speak on this topic. At the end of the day if you don’t like how someone is treating you, you have the right to advocate and speak up for yourself.
@@jessicat2304 yes especially if there’s a dynamic of codependency involved
Trying to meet another person's expectations is exhausting.
Agree this is why you can never have expectations, expectations are letting yourself down, you never expect!
Whew! 💯
Facts 😂
❤agreed!
Exactly! I thought I was the only one seeing this
I remember Tony Gaskin told them to stand together that the devil will come for what they have which is their friendship because they are on a different movement for women of this generation. Few months later B Simeon said they are having issues, Tony said it!!!! I wish they had the strength to have stand strong. Megan is going through a divorce, B is going through a transition with her spirituality which she needs somebody like Megan by her side and I'm sure she can't always be there for her. Mehn this is a whole lot, I've never been this heartbroken for a friendship break up like this the last time I did was onscreen friendship of Issa and Molly from insecure.
One of the hardest aspects of a long-term/close friendship is grieving what it used to be and coming to the realization of what it will be moving forward.
I wouldn't say their friendship is over. It's just changing. And that can be challenging
A word!
Exactly. We need to normalize evolving instead of ending .
So true!
Bingo!!!
Nahits done. B Simone doesn’t value it anymore and feels she has outgrown Meg. But Meg’s new podcast The Totality is going to THRIVE and this all needed to happen.
I don't think they were in a close phase in their long friendship. What served them as friends when they were younger no longer serves them. Due to them spending more time together, they have unearthed the differences in who they are. It's hard to manage issues that are happening in real time while doing business together.
Agreed!!!
This is so true !
Real rap I separated from my best friend in my 20s and it was the most painful heartbreak I ever experienced. If I can let go of her I can let go of anyone 💁🏽♀️ it makes me think that’s where I get the strength to be savage to these dudes
Same, my breakup with my best friend hurt worse than my divorce
@@nikkie_amy God! That’s deep.
@@SheLovesLightfacts 😳😳🙆🏽♀️
💣❤️
Yes when it's a real friendship its a breakup. I stop being friends with my best friend in my 20's. Shit hurts until this day but life goes on.
This convo made me realize why certain friendships can't work based on the attachment style. I realized I anxiously attach and my ex best friend was 100% dismissive.
SAMEEEEEEE!!!!! Same!
Same!
same. let her go months ago
Facts
It’s sad to see, but I love that they are going to counseling for their friendship. Too many females tend to drop their girl friends like a hot potato but give their “repeat offender” man multiple chances; so it’s good to see B & Megan work on a process to understand the season their friendship is in. I pray their friendship comes out stronger through this 🙏🏾💕
This is old. They aren’t friends and unfollowed each other
@@GiGiChosenreally? Well, at least they attempted to mend it through professional help before calling it done.
@@sandriaisYes, they have unfollowed each other and Megan made a statement on her IG story
And this part. My ex best friend is still kicking it with a dude that made it clear that he only wanted to spend time with her alone to better his chances of getting his peen wet and her baby daddy called her a jump off and barely sees the kids, but she still deals with him……..but I stand my ground ONE TIME and I’m cut off……chiiiilllleeeee
Ok. Hear me out. This could be a stretch, but… could this have something to do with Megan starting to be more in the forefront that is changing the dynamic of the relationship? At first B. Simone was the star and you saw her all over Black IG and Black Twitter. Then they start the podcast, and all of a sudden, I’m seeing Megan’s face everywhere. I didn’t even know they had a podcast but I was often being sent clips of something Megan said with B just in the “Amen” corner. And Megan started to create her own fan base. Is it possible B. Simone only thought Megan would remain in her shadow and once she started to shine, B started pulling away from the friendship…??
That could be true. But is friends with a lot of influencers who have their own thing going on whereas Megan didn’t.
I totally agree with you. I have been following B-Simone for almost 10 years. You could clearly see the changes in their friendship on the podcast. It's really sad to see. I love their friendship. They were there for each other through so much, that includes the good and the bad. I pray they get through this.
yesz and fear
Absolutely.
Yes and BSimone is someone who engulfs people it seems rather than avoidant
I dated an avoidant and baby let me tell you. I CRIED and CRIED!!! They emotionally check out far before you are aware of what is happening. It's the worst.
Yea I been checked outta my relationship for bout 3 years now..lol he have no clue.. I'm literally just waiting for him to get tired of it & leave
Girl that is the most ridiculous thing in the world. Three years you’ve been waiting for him to leave. You need therapy.
I dated one too, very challenging💯
@@claudiakennedy223why are you staying? Genuinely asking 🫶🏾
@@claudiakennedy223That’s disgusting. You’re avoiding accountability and a bad person. You’re being mentally abusive.
I think this is one of the realest discussions they’ve had and many people can relate if they’re honest. I’ve silently stepped away from a few friendships
I’m sorry but Meghan seems to be an emotionally taxing friend. She’s expecting way too much (emotionally) from a friend. And I feel that she’s not giving B the grace to sometimes fail.
Also they’ve been friends for 20 years but didn’t talk for 10. That let’s you know that this friendship broke down a long time ago.
Agreed
Meghan is also going through a separation which is a big change so maybe her expectations have increased too. Wishing them both peace and happiness on their individual journeys right now and hope they can mend the relationship
Wow. This explains so much about some of my friendships and also myself. Eye opening.
We thank God
I was in a friendship like this. I was the anxious attachment and repressed a lot of my feelings to hold onto the friendship.
As a therapist and an anxiously attached person, it's really important to have several lillypads in your socioemotional pond. There is a tendency to focus and become dependent on one source for all of your needs and if you're paired with an avoidant this becomes a problem because awareness of this dependence activates the avoidant to become distant and it feels necessary and freeing for them. Both anxious and avoidant styles need balance but because the injury of the distance in the relationship will likely be more painful for the anxiously attached, the perspective change is so important to mitigate trauma and feelings of low self worth. Having several ways to meet your own identified needs intrinsically instead of having to outsource is key.
This is so good. I am the avoidant one in one of my friendships and everything you have said is so spot on. I feel like I am her main source and when I was younger and childless I could manage it, well I’d say I was making a lot of sacrifices which were making me miserable but Now I just cannot do it I don’t have the time or capacity. She does have other friends who from the sounds of it seem to be the avoidant type too. I really would love for her to find someone who can meet that need for her. Maybe part of the issue is that she is not aware of her attachment style but she needs that person who she can call and speak to regularly and go out etc. do you have any advice for this?
U right my best friend has her own women tribe so I don’t feel the burden
I am thrilled to hear your perspective because I think what some anxiously attached people misinterpret is the fact that their anxious partner cares for them. I can sense that you really do love and care for your friend. Change process is such an intimate and personal journey so your friend changing her approach to her relationship with you is going to be entirely her work. The best thing to do is understand set LOVING boundaries around your time and she will "autocorrect" around that. Loving boundaries involve validating and understanding her while still creating space for what you need for yourself. Your boundaries have nothing to do with her - they are only there to protect you and your mental health. You are responsible to be a good friend to her by having integrity and being invested in her wellness but you are not responsible FOR her. It would be awesome of setting her up on a friend date would help but chances are, it won't work, because this is you trying to fix a situation that is not yours to fix. She will sort that out. It's also a good idea to try to understand yourself through this situation in terms of how you are feeling pressed by her friendship style and why - what does it bring up for you? Are there areas that could point to growth for you as well? If if there aren't any areas you can identify right now, it already seems like you have a better understanding of yourself through this dynamic. Sounds like you're an awesome friend.
Yes. This is so important. @@LittleBlackBook91
OMG lemme try this again. Anxious partners tend to misinterpret that their avoidant counterparts do NOT care for them and this is not always true.
My sis is a Pisces !! I understand her 100009%. B.Simone is being very nonchalant …. Meg will be sad for awhile but when she is done SHE WILL BE DONE!!!!!
This. We’re such deep thinkers and care beyond the surface! 😭
Absolutely and when the 'nonchalant' starts to feels differently the other person will be done.
B Simone is an Aries. I am as well but I feel Meg. I get both perspectives but my heart goes out to Meg. The anxious and avoidant conflicts one another.
I appreciate this video breakdown . Definitely has me as I am sure others self reflecting
@@LuLusQueenThat makes sense, I avoid y’all like the Plague. You can’t handle the spotlight being taken from you. And the Pisces in my opinion will always upstage the Aries in every aspect of life lol, they just lack the delusional to think they are god’s gift to the world. She didn’t leave her friend because she too emotional, she left her friend because she is a greedy hen fake god loving person 🤷🏾♀️
I had a great friendship in my early 20s that dissolved. I was anxious attachment. She was avoidant. 10 years later she called to check in on me. I did not reopen the door.
Good
B sounds exhausted. People always look at the dismissive like a monster. We have watched her cry about how much she loves meg. Imagine what she has held back to turn into this nonchalant character. Sometimes you just turn off. I’m B in my friendship
Exactly, it’s painful for us too. Some people are emotionally TAXING.
This.
I def turn off. I just learned this about myself. I try and try and try then one day im over it and there’s no longer emotions attached to it. It scared me honestly. When im tired im tried
Rightttt!!
Yup I watched the interview with Sarah and this actually hurt her more than she made out to say.
you’ve hit the nail on the head.. you are very articulate, poise and very emotionally intelligent. you get a subscription from me just off this video alone! this also helped me understand more about my self and my relationships. THANK YOU. it’s rare to see black men so well versed in this specific area. 🎉
I definitely just got subscribe lol!
Same…same!
Agreed!!
✋amen
All of this!
My friendship of almost 9 years with someone whom I considered a sister just ended 7 weeks ago today. It hit me like a ton of bricks that after all we've been through she would let a small disagreement lead to the ending of our friendship. I have always been a giver but the one time I say no she dismissed me like she never cared about me. I have every right to say no if something doesn't work for me and is not a good decision for my life. If the tables were turned I would absolutely respect that and move on. It's really sad because I love her and I love her son😢 I wish I could still at least have a relationship with him but unfortunately he's a casualty of war. I will miss the good times but life goes on💯
She was a user you were blind now you see be thankful nd move on
@@divinedriven1693 I've been thinking maybe she was. Smh...🤦🏽♀️
@@keishamaria2870 Honestly she knows how I am when someone wrongs me. Once I'm done there's no coming back. If she calls then yes we'll have a conversation but when I hang up my phone nothing changes. It's over for her💯 I have walked away years ago from people I still love til this day🤷🏽♀️
@Mclaren_karen So it sounds like you've never set boundaries in the friendship and your friend has gotten used to that. Now that you finally have by saying "No." She took it as an offense.. she definitely has some growing to do and is upset at having to now adjust for you. (and she should adjust!!) Sometimes that' is all it takes to unveil ones true nature and intent. I hope you will meet new friends who are better aligned with you.
Had an 8 year friendship end in the same as you because of not setting boundaries earlier on and the uncertainty as an fearful avoidant person. It’s sad but sis you’ve got this. May you flourish during this time after growing apart. Missing her son is inevitable. Healing will happen slowly but surely 💜
Their business together (the podcast) was based off of their friendship; so if the friendship ends, how authentic will the business be moving forward?
Right!! That was throwing me off. The whole podcast was based on their chemistry and love for each other. They created a safe space to be transparent.
Exactly u get it! I understand Megan cse like u said it was built off friendship n b Simone tells her she just want the business relationship only so not only is that hurtful but the show is no longer authentic because the audience tuned in thinking we were watching a good decades old friendship
This is why I don’t and will not classify anyone as a best friend and I do not get attached to people - because all of this is too PAINFUL!
I feel that…. I don’t have anyone I call a best friend. I use to want that….but I’ve had people I called best friends and those relationships are no longer. My mom truly was my best friend God rest her soul
🕊️🌹
Same! I’ve released the title of best friend from everyone in my life including husband. Only God knows me and I’m very okay with living like that
@@caramelcocoa234 yes yes for sure God is bestie ♥️
@Angelikah1 PRECISELY. I knew from YOUNG (12yrs old.) that labeling people "best friend" gives them a sense of "Self Importance" over other friends.. and a closer access to information to eventually inflict pain onto you. So I leave it to simply "Friend" and not many get that title.
@@MsSosoBelle I sooo feel you on this sis♥️🙏🏽
Simone isn’t a girls girl. She’s business minded I don’t think she’s able to have a relationship
Aries😂
I don’t know what transpired between these two behind closed doors, but I’ve been B Simone. My best friend of over 20 years was a great friend, but she was also draining and parasitic. They may go above and beyond for you because they care, but this can also be used as manipulation. B Simone is tired of Megan and wants space. This is why she sounds over it. B Simone could be crying at night about the loss of such a close friend, but she still knows that she needs to have some space in the friendship. I don’t even know Megan, but her spirit weighs me down. It’s a lot of energy to have a super close relationship with someone like that. It doesn’t mean they aren’t amazing and you don’t wish them well, but you can no longer handle a close relationship with them like that anymore. I also understand Megan feeling hurt and possibly even abandoned. Those feelings are valid too, but B Simone being captive in a friendship to make you happy isn’t fair to her. Maybe they’ll be able to circle back, but it’s also ok if they don’t.
I agree with you! I always felt like Megan required a lot from B. Simone. I felt like B. Simone had to walk on egg shells or always agree with Megan on the podcast. I remember Jackie (RIP) told a story of Megan calling B. Simone upset about something when B. was on vacation for Jackie’s Birthday.
All of this! Parasite type energy is correct. I hope she gets the help she needs. Sometimes this type of behavior is masked as sweet, emotionally mature or caring but it can be manipulative to constantly pull at someone that way then appear to be the victim when they want space.
yess thank you megan weight is heavy her spirit is off i can’t believe no one is on b Simone side because i completely understand where b is coming from meg is to bossy and such grandma b do need her space for those who are on meg side must worship the devil because how they can read her she not a good friend to me she the friend who will bring your ego down to make her ego better smh
I’m currently in this space!! Thank you for this
I am literally experiencing this same thing. About a year ago I had to separate from a friend of mine of over 25 years and it hurt deeply, but the relationship was becoming exhausting. I think she is a wonderful person, I really do. But what you said about manipulation and going above and beyond hit the nail on the head. I was starting to feel obligated to her. I also recently lost a best friend to cancer, and a part of me was feeling like this other friend was trying to take her spot. It was kinda weird. I still love this friend and I pray for her often, but I had to put distance between us.
Dont mix business with family/friends.
never.
Sometimes you can, just rare when it works out
I just think B. Simone is an inauthentic person. Until she finds who she truly is she won’t be good for anyone else. She seems really selfish and self absorbed
Clings to who’s available to her maybe?
She is being real to her feelings and they lost Jacky oh. It’s ok not to be ok. Mental health !!!
Just because it’s seems like B’s style of friendship is often put down: Just because someone is the avoidant type rather than the anxious type doesn’t make them bad. The anxious often judge the avoidant instead of trying to show them the same understanding they want shown back to them. I also think I’m when it comes to B, if Meg expresses her need for B to show up, and then B does, but it’s critiqued or not appreciated because it’s not in the way that Meg needed, it can make someone feel like they were better off not trying to appease in the first place. If she knows B struggles in that area, but sees B putting forth effort, you have to give words of affirmation at the very least so that B knows she may have missed the mark, but Meg sees the effort. I think B wants to try to get it, but Meg does have high expectations, because truth is not everyone reciprocates love the way you do and that’s ok. Aside from what most call nonchalant I think B is tried of not meeting Megs mark, and of being emotionally overwhelmed. And that causes her to be void of emotion on the surface but just because Meg shows the emotion openly doesn’t mean B doesn’t feel hurt either, shes just better at the facade. I’m definitely someone who is like after so many times of not meeting your standards I’ll throw my hands up and move on. I think we also have to mention that it’s possible for anxious people to morph into an avoidant due to past failed relationships. I feel like I use to be the anxious empath but over time became the independent avoidant. I really don’t think B just wants a business relationship but I think she feels overwhelmed by all the emotions to where she’s like “well hell forget the friendship since we can’t seem to get that right, let’s just focus on business,” but I get Meg being like “naw we started as friends first and I can’t turn that part off,” if they want to keep the relationship there needs to be an acceptance of each other’s character. You either grow together or grow apart. I think Meg is constantly bringing up some sort of shortcoming of B so eventually it does translate into “doing everything from a fearful state,” or a “fear of criticism,” now can B do a better job of showing empathy to Meg OF COURSE. And I’m sure B showing Meg some consideration could do a long way, but the question becomes then what will Meg find then, that B will be in fear of disappointing her on next.
I like friends who don’t take it personal when I disappear but can just right back in with me like I never left. Most times it’s not personal at all, but if you’re the anxious type, and you mention my absence to me, I’ll become apologetic because I’m like “oh no I didn’t mean it like that AT ALL, forgive me”. Part of it is knowing who you’re friends with, and either accepting that OR moving on if you can’t deal with it. This is why you can have multiple friends good at different things because expecting one person to be your ultimate friend isn’t realistic and is taxing on that individual. B can ask a direct question and Meg will tap dance around it and then get mad when B doesn’t correct what Meg did not convey. We don’t need a philosophical answer Meg just make it plain geez! Then when B is direct she gets wounded & Nobody ever really asks B what she has an issue as well if you think about it. It’s normally centered around how Meg feels. B definitely does have some maturing to do, but so does Meg. I don’t think separating just deals with your behavior but how over critiqued you can feel by someone else can also make you go into your shell. I agree with the the love expert woman, B should be direct but Meg has to not get offended when she is, and vice versa. And Meg has to make the issue clear. If we gotta keep having a heart to heart every 2 mos where you tell me how I’m not what you need ima start backing off too. Meg seems emotionally draining and that’s a turn off for the avoidant or hell for anyone who isn’t as emotional as she is. And with her being freshly divorced it’s like she’s wanting B to fill a void and that’s too much to put on anyone. If she just got divorced to her ex husband andddd recently lost a 20yr friend, she cannot try to victimize herself when she’s definitely playing a role too. She’s not the only one hurting. Her communication has to come up or she’s gonna have to stop complaining. Because it’s nitpicking atp! And she can’t force B to fill a void that really only God can do anyways. She just wore B out emotionally so B said F it. It’s like she was trying to change B. When not everything has to be formally spoken of. Somethings require prayer and the Holy Spirit to reconstruct someone’s heart. We miss things up trying to correct it all in our own strength!
Sometimes ppl are not your real friend they just using you because you are humble and will serve ❤ Megan is better off ❤
I find that some women look towards their female friendships to fill that void in their life, whatever it may be. And truthfully, I don’t feel like that’s anyones responsibility. Friendships are suppose to enhance your life, but when you’re looking for your friends to fill the holes in your life, to me, that’s just expecting too much. It’s not my responsibility to cure your depression, mommy issues, anxiety etc. I can’t take those away from you nor is that my responsibility. I just feel like too much women project their inner issues onto their friendships. I also feel like too much women struggle with speaking up, enforcing boundaries and saying what they want, and will instead resent the friend who doesn’t struggle with that. I expect people to say what they want. If they don’t, how is that my fault? If I speak up, but you don’t, how is that unfair? Your inability to communicate isn’t on me - that’s a you problem. People just need to do the inner work instead of blaming their friends.
You're absolutely correct
Thank you so much for this comment! I feel that sometimes women can put their friendships in the spousal/husband category and that is not healthy for ANYBODY.
@@GuidedGloryMinistries EXACTLY! I absolutely agree.
🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯
I feel this wholeheartedly…to this day it still hurts separating from my best friend since 10th grade…but Jesus is maturing me into who He wants me to be and I don’t have time for regrets ❤
I felt this! Its been a year since I ended my friendship with my bestfriend since elementary school and I miss her but I definitely do not regret it!!! God is isolating me for a reason and Im going to be obedient and walk in my purpose according to his will! ❤🙌🏾
This video has helped me realize some things I've been dealing this past week or so. I have heard of attachment styles before but never knew how it worked or what styles I personally have. I've learned you can have multiple. So thank you for this breakdown because it's helping so many. I hope they can work it out or have peace with everything. Blessings to them 🙏🏽
Oh my goodness this analysis is so on point. The funniest part is it shed light to what was going on between my boyfriend and I. He is an avoidant dismissive, and while normally im secure, within the dynamics of our relationship i saw myself change from secure to becoming anxious. He would over promise like B and not keep up with his promises and this would annoy and trigger me because i do not like when people do not keep their promises. Fine, we passed that bridge. I felt like i was always compensating, too empathetic and understanding while he was not. The last straw was when he cancelled our plans for me to go visit him amidst my journey, lack of empathy displayed there. And then him being dismissive avoidant, he would often not solve the issues or want to talk about them asap. Finally before we could solve everything he went on a sabbatical. Is there even hope for such people with starkly different attachment styles? I feel like he doesnt care about me or the relationship just as B was dismissive of the friendship.
Being with someone who is avoidant can definitely take you down from secure to anxious. This is something I recently went through as well. It’s the worse feeling. My ex and I broke up because of it. The dynamic does not work over time. A man’s job in a relationship is to make us feel safe and secure. When that stops happening, what is the point of the relationship anymore?
I'm at the point in my relationship, too. I'm going to leave, that's scary but necessary. I feel alone and uncared for.
Something about B Simone doesn’t sit right with me
She’s a fake friend
But how can she be a fake friend when: 1. She is committed to working through it 2. She created an opportunity for herself and friend to make $ 3. They have had a friendship that has lasted 15+ years?
Yes this is the same women that made pretty v cry on a show b simone is a muther
Baby!!! Kojo this couldn’t have come at a better time for me. Listening to this video has helped me think through a situation I’ve been going through with a friend who I can see has an avoidant attachment style. I have an anxious one and to see from the outside what that looks like is so helpful. I feel like this will help me to take some of the ways they act a little less personally but to also speak their style and try to be a little more direct (hold them to the fire) so I can figure out what’s going on when I start getting mixed signals.
This is why communication is soo important in any and all relationships. & awareness of self.
Yeah...I don't do dismissive energy. It's so uncompromising and literally at the top of my list of intolerable behavior. Compassion doesn't live there and I can't deal. Never been a B Simone fan though so...I never "got it", how everyone else did.
THIS!
It also should be mention, in my opinion, that the business relationship only approach is only realistic if this was a business that wasn’t completely centered around the two of them sitting down to have heart felt, light hearted, intimate conversations. Maybe if this was a store, or a clothing line, that would be realistic. To me, I can’t see how Bsimone actually felt they could continue a business relationship here without their friendship being in tact.
Agreed, B doesn’t have enough EQ
Thank you for the quality conversation concerning friendship. This helped me Ro reflect and evaluate who I am in my relationships. This felt like a therapy session❤️
This was a good topic and the way you covered it made so much sense. As friends it’s challenging to navigate when it comes to attachment styles because many don’t know how to address it with setting clear boundaries and too much responsibility is weighed on the years of what has been created within the friendship. If there was a clearer understanding without seeming dismissive or needs being met would benefit both parties away from the business side 🤷🏾♀️ as Meg said, we are human 🙏🏾 a lot of the comments highlighted friendships ending due to people changing. It’s ok to outgrow others with no bad blood present. This is something I learnt in my own female circle this year.
Great analysis! This was very on point and helps me understand dynamics around me of people who act and think like B Simone
Through watching this I realized how dismissive I can be.. Especially after 18:22 to the very end of the vid. My relationship with disappointment is a feeling I could never phathom or explain until I heard that last half of the vid. But now that I've acknowledged it I can work on it
i love this honestly
Love this comment. There’s nothing like having that light bulb 💡 moment about self awareness n realizing something you can work in to have growth 👍🏽😊
Love this!
This is so good!! This is helping me in many ways… I went through a phase as a “B Simone”and later in life a Ashley phase.. now I can understand both sides find the balance and become a healthy individual!!
And I was in a romantic relationship recently where as I was Ashley 100% but I get it now!!
I feel better!! Because I need to be more direct and upfront and then not clingy and have such high expectations of others but have boundaries to what’s cool and what’s zero tolerance… BALANCE
This sounds exactly like me and an ex friend, i always felt like I was apologizing and walking around egg shells and found that unfair because I kept trying to go above and beyond for someone who felt like I wasn't doing enough. It's unfair on both sides, so I decided not to engage further. It's unfortunate but now that I can define it, it was for the best.
I feel like the death of Jacky really highlighted some issues that they may have been having and that they were able to cover up. I also feel that with them still grieving it affected how they interact with each other. I'm glad that they are willing to fight for their friendship. Hopefully, they work it out and have a stronger friendship after this.
That makes sense, the different attachment aspects in the friendship. I sometimes wondered why a past friendship felt like a relationship, it was weird, now I know.
I’m a social worker and you just earned a subscriber 😊 I loved the way you broke it down and was also vulnerable with your own process ❤
Wow. This was so helpful to me. The way you broke the attachment styles down, literally told my story of how my last relationship went. This entire time I kept trying to figure out why everything just would not work out. Of course there were other factors but the attachment styles dictate how all of that is handled. Thank you and I appreciate your own transparency because I got to hear what it’s like from the other side. God bless you.
I've had the same friends since elementary school and one from high school and we are all bffs. With that being said, there are at least 2-3 avoidants in our group and the rest of us are anxiously attached, myself included. We made a family because our family dynamics were messed up. I would never in a million years give up on the avoidants.
My friend Anu is avoidant but over the years has changed tremendously! Now shes attached! We all literally talked to her about our feelings and she changed so idk. We also changed for her and allowed her more space and this was all without counseling because we're in college. I think communication is key, even if its hard.
I'm not the same in romantic relationships though, but I need my friends. Like we literally all say we wouldnt know what to do without each other and its true, we literally got through everything in our lives together so far.
that's beautiful and rare
Same. I have two close friends both from middle school. We are the same way. I love this for y'all.
@@Asiyahberiyah May you all withstand the test of time ❣️
I used to have the same friends since elementary but this year has definitely been a year of isolation for me. . .Im losing my childhood friends at a rapid rate and none of it makes sense. Im a little older though, so we've been through college and are now in our mid-late thirties so I pray that you guys can withstand the test of time because I never would've imagined that I wouldnt be talking to my bestfriends that have been in my life since 3rd/4th grade with no fallouts or major disagreements. It definitely hurts but I feel like whatever my next chapter is in life, I cant take them with me! 😔
@@NicoleC007 I'm sorry to hear that. It's okay to grow apart. I honestly believe we eventually will but not because of anything bad, we are entering new chapters of our lives like career wise and moving out of state. We will definitely be communicating less and focusing on our specific paths and that's okay, that happens to everyone.
This was a great take on their friendship. I’m the Megan type and it’s difficult to navigate friendships with people that seemingly don’t take things serious. I really hope they can work things out and it’s encouraging that they’re trying so hard…most people just give up.
Sir, I came here for a quick analysis on the friendship of these women! I didn't expect to get my edges snatched up. I really appreciate this video and needed it.
Might I add, as a person who is on the cusp of water sign and fire sign, im BOTH STYLES in ONE. It depends on who the person is and how deeply I love them. My attachment style will change accordingly. I match energy. I’m fluid like that. I don’t come in one size fits all. But I find I can be avoidant to other avoidants and we carry on seamlessly. We can even ghost each other peacefully. But I also find that those who annoy me bc they are over sensitive, and I might not have a deep enough love/like for them that my attachment style becomes avoidant bc I want them off my trail or I want to toughen them up a bit. That rarely works clearly, but it does get them off your trail with the cry baby energy. I’m a cancer Leo cusp with Virgo rise and Sag moon so I can shift and match pretty much all emotions seamlessly, but with so much fire can tend to think sensitive people are a bit more miserable and no fun. A complete drip. So I become avoidant to keep from losing my mind when around them. I have to brush what they do OFF bc it triggers me bc sappy miserable complaining energy is triggering. I’m a pretty tough Cancerean due to so much fire. But I know how and when it’s time to be very sensitive. But some people just love to dwell is dark dank energy. Not caring or considering how much they kill the vibes and that’s when it’s time to take flight. Avoidant personality to the rescue.
I gotta feeling we all sort of move around differently according to how unnerving the other person is. And how deeply we love and care about their emotional state.
Good post
I don’t know if that’s how attachment style works. It’s developed in the first 3 years of your life on earth. It’s hard coded. You simply sound like a purely Dismissive Avoidant. friend.
THISSSSSSS!!!!!!!
Well said👏 this is me...i go with the flow baibyyy
I will be subscribing to your channel. It is nice to see a black man discuss these things. Loved your break down, vulnerability, and for linking us to other insightful material I.e. Diary of a CEO with Steven Bartlett and love coach Logan Ury.
It's a cold world and they have different ways with coping and protecting themselves.
I realized that my long-time friends from childhood were all trauma bonds. My reasons for having friendships with them make no sense now, and it took the death of my brother in 2023 to re-evaluate how I was choosing my friends in the first place. If I ran it down right now, it would be shameful. Now that I'm healed from the trauma and can see with different eyes who my friends were, I discovered that I was not pleased with who they were and how they existed in my life. So, I decided to start over. Now, my friendships are established in a healthy place.
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.” There were so many things that were said throughout the journey of KFS that were very telling of the type of friend is and the type of friend Megan is. Idk if it was truly a mutual separation in the end after they sought prayer, covering, therapy etc. But I’m glad that Megan got out of there. Because she wasn’t emotionally safe, and while she still grieves the end of a marriage, she needs people in her corner who are SOLID.
The saddest part about this is B Simone came to Christ through this friendship. Man we are really rationalizing a lot of things that I truly believe is a result of Meology/Narcissistic Christianity. When you first come to Christ all your default mechanisms comes to the surface. And the attitude and the dismissiveness we can all judge because we have no skin in the game but what if Megan actually lifted her up in prayer. Therapy only gives some light but there’s a place that prayer of a friend can go that therapy doesn’t reach. We’ve gotten so far by saying “don’t spiritualize everything” that we forget that MANY things are spiritual. And this is an example of that. The enemy prefers us broken. And any relationship (marriage or friendship) that could provide some healing and IMPORTANTLY SALVATION will be attacked. I’m back here after listening to B Simone on Sarah Jakes podcast . God truly help us all
I would watch their interactions and silently grieve the relationship I once had with my estranged bff. I have been incapable of manufacturing a similar relationship because the loss was so great I would rather never go through that again. I also realize how difficult navigating these long term friendships can be when things pile up over the years and the relationship is no longer what it was and you’re not sure how to move past it. You start realizing the things that are wrong or how this person is not showing up for you or reciprocating in the way you feel they should but you also dont know how to tell them either and the relationship continues to deteriorate and its no longer easy or fun and it seems easier to just let it go 💔
I resonate with this & you never ever expected things to end.
Wow everything I have felt recently, especially about things piling up over the years
Knowing your friends love language is everything. Two people coming together can be difficult on its own, unhealed trauma will affect the relationship if they dont take time to work on themselves. If we can understand each other as individuals & leave expectations to the side this wouldn't be a problem.
Bro!!! You are liquid gold Man. Kudos to you!!! You are hitting this nail right on the head. I don't know if you really realize how you are helping people by breaking this stuff down to the lowest common denominator because a lot of us can't understand our own selves when it comes to emotional attachment vs emotional detachment. You just helped me more then you could even know and here's why...I am actually both of them. I am a hybrid. I can be both B Simone or Meghan, it just depends on the mood and who you have shown yourself to be with me through out time. I usually adjust according to the person. I can even start one way but depending upon what traits you start to display with me this, could shift me to the other way. I never understood why I do that but you just helped me! Thank you!! In the end it is usually due to trauma that you have experience over your life time. Different people handle others differently according to that. I remember for years when I was more like Meghan but I also remember when I became more like B Simone now, its a balancing act of the two. What I find is honesty is the best policy but with tact. I am real good at it too...lol. You my friend deserve an award for your understanding of this subject, the context in which you have laid it out, and the commentary you have provided in general. You are very emotionally mature and you get it! Keep up the great work.👏
WOW thank you so much honestly this means alot
@@LittleBlackBook91 Thank you for what you do! You're making a difference. ✊🏾
I completely 💯 percent agree with your breakdown on this situation and it’s a great discussion topic on female friendships
Love this review .. we as friends don’t say this enough to one another. I applaud them for being so openly vulnerable. 🙌🏽 ..
OMG 😳 I’m realizing I’m a Avoidant friend but I’m also an empath it’s just the insanity part of relationships that drain me; I believe me being an introvert is another reason why as well. Love the video very eye opening for me.
A friendship shouldn’t feel like a marriage. The high expectations, I can only handle from my man.
Megan has CHILDREN!!! And the level of empathy, forethought, “showing up” and holding true to these characteristics out of LOVE s Fear- I’m sure has a great deal to do with her being a PARENT!! Parents **CANT** move contrary to their word- irregardless of FEELINGS!! Where Megan is as a parent, B. Simone is as a business owner.
Damn I haven't even finished this and this shit is already hitting homeeeeeeeee! I just got out of a friendship/relationship dynamic like this. I am the anxious style and my ex was avoidant, but the way you broke down where their avoidancy comes from and how it's from consistently being disappointed that they don't want to disappoint or feel bad about themselves is exactly what was being told to me. It's really crazy because all we want is to feel loved and feel like our partner is trying to show up but when they're already fearful of disappointing it hurts. Crazy deep. Love this.
I love how your broke this down. We are complex as people and I’m relationships with each other. It takes a lot of understanding and choosing to do that level of work to see anothers perspective but also sometimes after you’ve done all you can, it’s okay to walk way.
This was such a great explanation. I hate that so many people are bashing and turning on B when no one knows the foundation of what caused the separation or understanding where she’s coming from.
I think the two just need to understand how they both operate and make the decision to change for the sake of the relationship.
I wish them both the best
This guy hit it exactly on the head. I wasn’t aware of “attachment styles” but I always would describe me and my former best friends relationship this same way without the terminology.
I’m more of a loner and my bf couldn’t live without talking to me. I knew that abandonment was an issue for her so I wanted to tread lightly. She couldn’t take the hints.
Finally on my birthday this year it boiled over to where I told her I needed a break! I work with ppl all day I don’t want to always be thinkin or having a conversation, I just want silence! We have spoken once since that day and she thought I was abandoning her when in reality I was telling her 24/7 how I felt stagnant and maybe we’re on 2 different pages after 10 years of solid friendship.
All that to say I understand both of their points and I think maybe they outgrew eachother 🤷🏽♂️
I lowkey feel like B didnt want to do the podcast anymore, maybe she realized how much she had to give up and sacrifice by living a God-fearing life now shes blaming Megan and their friendship for "lacking" 🤷♀️ someone commented that they're unequally yoked and i agree !
This was a really great vid. We are talking about attachment styles in my therapy sessions currently. And I relate so much to what is being discussed in this video and in the comments. Great job on the breakdown.
wow thank you i appreciate that
This is really what happens when you have a friend who suffers w mental health issues like depression etc.
They have to force themselves to be there for you because some days they don’t even want to leave the bed, but they do, it feels forced, and you feel slighted and take it to heart.
I know because I have a few mental health issues, and I don’t have any friends.. then I’m an Aries like b Simone, and I know once we feel misunderstood, it’s just a wrap.
Has nothing to do with being an Aries that’s just how you are.
@@Tluv24 😂😂😂
@@Tluv24most fire signs have the avoidant/dismissive attachment style. Aries is a fire sign.
Most Fire signs are avoidant. We don’t do overly emotional people very well. I couldn’t understand why here lately I’ve become more avoidant than usual. I’m seeing more & more how draining people can be & to cope I’ve been avoiding people every chance I get as I’m a very upbeat, outgoing, don’t let anything keep me down type of individual. I no longer want to be responsible for other people & their s***. It’s difficult because I want to be there for people, but some just come with too much. 😪
Do you know what Megan’s sign is I’m been tryna figure it out 😂Ik b is a Aries so I’m not shocked by the avoidance
@@kyraely2186 😆 She’s a Pisces
@@Queen_EL11yes
unpopular opinion: old friendships should stay in the past. I always thought that about this scenario especially.. they stopped being friends for a reason. And those same issues came right back up.
Man listen!! You described me and my ex bestie perfectly.
Hmm do yall remember when MsJackyO died? She was charging close friends to see how she was grieving on IG. I understand B Simone is focused on getting to bag right now, but she won’t feel fulfilled if she continues this way.
I hope they see this video… because the way you break this down seems so on point!👌🏾
Aww, I’m so saddened to hear this. I really loved their friendship and they spoke volumes to women across the globe. They had such a authentic bond well at least from the outside looking in. This honestly breaks my heart, because their friendship appeared to be healthy and genuine. 😢💔
the bond was business
Whew! This was so good and to the point. I’m now learning about attachment styles and being aware your attachment styles and the attachment styles of those around you is so powerful. It could literally save your relationships or make you aware of the people who are just not meant to be in your life.
For so many years ive avoided female friendships due too much complications and trust issues.. when i got to my 30s i opened up to female friendships only to prove my point on how females are.. some stayed and i call sis some got deleted permanently out of my life
Yup!
If some stayed then it actually didn’t prove it because if that be the case you wouldn’t have kept any of them. Not every friendship is meant to workout
@beghz when I state that some of the females I kept where still around that's because I trust them so my point was clear
@@shauntalove8413 “only to my point of how some females are.” You generalized it as if all women are that way but then stated you kept some because you trust them so it’s “some” are that way not all which does not prove your point. Not an argument it’s just a correction
This was a great breakdown Kojo. Learned a few things about myself
when i tell you this video convicted me on soooo many levels chiiiiiile... thank you Kojo 🙏🏾
Eish by grace
Ppl also aren’t talking abt what Covid did to us. Some ppl r really detached, lonely or very unpleasant. Ppl hv forgotten how to be around ppl in the flesh. Be considerate. It’s crazy.
Very good point
Whew when I tell you I have been where Megan was!!! As someone who was once married, living vicariously through my mate. That when we separated, I didn’t know who I was. There was no in dependency. I was latching on to people, places and things and sensed the distance. I had to distant myself and understand who I was and who I am now! That understanding is a never ending journey because there’s a lot of twist and dips in the road. That same road will always lead straight if you know and understand your purpose! Blessings to both women! I too had to drop people off. Changed my number and dipped. When you realize people around you aren’t in alignment with your purpose, dropping people places and things come easy because you recognize your purpose in the midst of it. Sending an abundance of love and stillness to these ladies. 🪬🌟✨✨✨🫰🏽🌹
I was in both of these shoes 👞 I was a dismissive person & grew into a person who was “afraid to let go.” But really, ik how it feels to be dismissive to someone who really care and is invested. So, I become more understanding, hoping the other person would be able to communicate their feelings & it comes off as a chase or “I can’t let go”