MSSP - Secret Guide To Surviving Prison: The First Night
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- Опубліковано 1 жов 2024
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From Matt and Shane's secret podcast ep 50
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#MattAndShaneSecretPodcast #ShaneGillis #MattMcCusker #MSSP
I hope Matt's soul piercing stare keeps you heathens on the right track
I keep a wallet sized photo of mckuskys stare. Whenever I feel like sinning I pull it out and look at it.
WTF!!!??? I need part 2.
@@whtasup6969 quit sinnin
There's a new Shane Gillis documentary coming out! It's called Champions starring Woody Harrelson.
part 2 my lord. or at least hit me with the episode number
Shane's fighting style would be terrifying in prison. A man who looks likes he's holding down an extra chromosome walking toward you crying. 😮
😂😂😂
Used to have a kid in pre school who would slam his fat tard hands on a table and walk towards you crying and then punch in you the spine
Lennie Small
He’s got that extra chromosome in a mean arm bar
DAMN! loool
Dudes cool asf, he’s been around. This is the best I’ve heard prison explained without all the fake glory bravado.
Yeah, criminal degenerate l, cool for sure. You should follow in his foot steps.
Shaun Atwood's early stuff is great for stories like this
@@surfboardjoker6299Atwood is legendary
He kind of sounds like he's putting on a tough guy accent tho lol
@@jpk9902 I don’t get that, something most people don’t comprehend and truly can’t wrap their minds around is when you’re in prison a high level, maximum security prison, it’s NOT the bullshit you see on t.v. Even that show on MSNBC where they claim to go into maximum security places aren’t true maximum security prisons. For many reasons tv crews wouldn’t be allowed in maximum security prisons where shit gets busy everyday. I mean come off lockdown, someone is stabbed within hours and right back on lock for 6-9 months. So my point is when you’re in a place where tension is so thick daily you could cut with a knife and the wrong look, word, movement could be confused as aggressive or making a move against someone you become a certain way, it changes you. Anyone that comes home from a federal USP (maximum security for Feds) is automatically put into therapy for PTSD. I know it’s extremely long but I’m only trying to explain how hard it is. Not only to survive and make it out alive but to keep your sanity.
30 second after hearing a guy was having his butt and mouth sold for some tobacco; “aww man, so you guys didn’t even have ice in your beverages?!”
😂😂
Hes asking the big questions
This is a stupid fuxking comment
This guy sounds exactly like Jackie from the Sopranos
Lol, Philly accent Jackie.
He only appeared on the cast outta respect for his fawtha
Didn't he almost drown in 2 inches of water?
Kid pissed himself, but he handled himself well
@@chrisxl5152 The penguin exhibit...
When he confused a Gypsy with Egyptian I fucking lost it. 😂
Wasn't even the right type of gypsy lmao brad pitt in Snatch is a Irish pikey, he definitely meant a romani gypsy.
@@SchizoReviews1599 Yes! 🤣 but; I can understand that bc I think it’s kind of an obscure thing to be well read on. Personally, I know Romani people don’t really like Irish Travelers. Technically, they shouldn’t even be referred to as “Gypsy” because genetically they arent related, hence the term “traveler” or the one you referenced, “pikey”. Even English or other UK ethnic groups and nationalities tend to favor Romani over Irish Travelers, and often refer to them ( the Irish ones ) as “tinkers” which is probably the goofiest slur/derogatory term I’ve ever heard of lol. Hell, I remember seeing people challenge Tyson Fury on his actual “Gypsy-ness” and all my American homies were like, “wtf are they even talking about?” Lol. The more I learn about history, and all the ethnic groups/nationalist pride that comes along with human beings moving and shaking all across this Earth, the more I realize how stupid and unimportant race really is. Like, I guess I need people to care a lot more than me because it makes for good reading, but it’s just so dumb. And, I don’t think we have time to get into the eugenics vs nationality of ancient and modern Egypt. But shiiit, I’m wit it if you’re wit it! Lol.
Gypsies, Tramps, & Thieves!
@@Thecoochincanoocheecreek i'm from Ireland, I'd take a romani over a traveller any day of the week. Romanis can be thieves and con artists but generally theyre harmless. Irish travellers are violent thugs who'd beat anyone over nothing. It doesn't even really have anything to do with race, the cultures people live in and choose to be a part of shape them far more. Irish travellers claim to be the descendants of a specific group in Irish history but theyre really just a group of people who decided to stop following the law and paying taxes. The way they make their children live is honestly heartbraking.
@@Thecoochincanoocheecreek why do the British prefer Romani gypsies over travelers?
Shane got excited when he heard chicken patties hahahaha
It was that extra half chromosome calling out from deep within him
What a top tier fucking guest. Loved every second of him 👏
joey diaz jr. hes a cool dude, id smoke a few bongs with this dude any day.
The rapin’s not what it used to be. This guys spittin facts
We were still spreading whitey cheeks in Bakersville whether they want to or not.
Haha this guys sick " this guy man ill never forget .. what was his name ? "
Yea, the guy is a major SLOW adult..
@@seanmurphy26he clearly isn’t, did you listen to the rest of it?
Jail sounds so fucking exhausting.
That’s the point.
@@seanwieland9763 what? Are you braindead or just evil? That's definitely not "the point". It fixes nothing
I read this in the voice of the guy who was happily selling his mouth and bottom.
It's loud, too
yeah bro, gen pop for me gives the same feeling as being in an unfamiliar hood. your guard is up 24/7. i didn’t even notice until i got on the outside and almost instantly felt my body relax lol
The most Pennsylvanian sounding guy I have ever heard. Dude sounds like Bam Margera and Jackie Jr Combined.
Lmao he sounds exactly like Jackie jr. I was expecting him to bring up with fawtha any minute now
I thought it was Jackie jr.
Been wishing for Bert to come back on the Cast…miss this guy. FreeBert
Dr Robert Sponge, MD
Lol he went back to jail. I think hes out now
Damn haha he got locked up again? That sucks anyone know what for?
Is he out yet??
@@aspiringnormie9499 dr Adolf sponge dds
Lord Peepop has returned for the thirsty dogs.
Edit: WIth the most exquisite photoshop ability amongst MSSP uploaders.
I worked at a county jail for almost twenty years. I still remember watching a pedo do a head dive off the top tier on my block while I was working. He had just come back from being sentenced for 30 years and said nah I got another idea… and almost the whole block cheered when he hit the ground. Word was if he got sentenced he was going to get stabbed up.
😂 That's funny asf
Make it sound like when he hit, a group of guy’s cheered like in Goodfellas when Henry broke his cherry.
@@jlshel42 Hilarious image
If you really worked in a jail for two decades then you must really be emotionally blunted… either that or psychotic
What kind of stupid question is that? @@randbarrett8706
I did a month in County, longest month of my life. A lot of crazy and funny shit happened, though and despite being 6’3” and 170lbs.,
I mostly got along with everyone I had to, and lucked out with cool ass cellies. I was in for the entire month of January during the NFL Playoffs and started a sportsbook for everyone to bet on, the black dudes loved me for that 😂😂😂
Food is currency, there’s nothing more important (except drugs if you do them, I didn’t) and coffee was called brown gold, it came in a little bag of powder that you mixed into water, dudes would always ask what you needed in return for “a scoop”.
The shit he’s talking about with cheechees, they had a different name where I was at, I can’t remember what it was, but yeah it was basically a potluck where everyone threw food in except it all went in one bag. My cellies and I did something similar with cakes where we would save them for a couple days from each meal and put them all in this big bowl, with a little bit of milk, sugar, cookie cream and apple bits and make one giant cake. Shit was 🔥🔥🔥
A couple other noteworthy things that happened, there was a dude that committed suicide the same way this dude described, jumping head first off the second level but that was before I got there.
We had a trans dude in there and two dudes got in a crazy ass fight because the one dude was telling everyone else the other dude was banging the trans.
I’m pretty good at basketball, so I got called Larry Bird after 15 minutes out on the court lol
What were ya in for
@@chunkygaming8464I know you are curious but on the outs that's like asking a person who they voted for. It's unspoken but you just don't do it.
@@captain_orangeuh, yes you do. If I know someone has been to jail I need to know why so I have an understanding of their character. It’s more polite to ask you than ask around behind your back like some cretan
Nah fuk that, ask the mtfk directly, ask around "behind his back" AND do a background check on a felon.
Fuk trying to be "respectful" to felons, fool 🤦
Who knew the prison system is about selling snacks
Everyone
It’s pretty hilarious that we make prisoners pay for food
@@randbarrett8706well they get meals but they can also choose to buy extra food
@@randbarrett8706not only that it’s inflated like 300% 😂
@@randbarrett8706we don’t make them pay for meals, they pay for snacks like candy and chips. Prison isn’t supposed to be summer camp
Fuck yes Peepop. Bless the new DAWGs with the wild tales of Bert 🙏
One thing about doing federal time, is that you have access to ice in the pod: whenever. Frozen water, mind you. But there are no personal televisions in your cell. Everyone shares a screen in the unit. During the numerous counts that take place daily though, you end up watching from the distant vantage point of your room (through a narrow window sliver) . .
Yeah I remember listening to the kickoff game from my corner cell behind the tv asking for updates about Wes Welker cause he was on my fantasy team 😂
Dude U never been inside
Best day of my life’s gunna be when my son says “pops, how did peepop do it?”
😮😮 21:30 😅😅😮
Everything for us son, when I had nobody, I had peepop
In today's market, Butts are up 5 and a half points while Mouths are down 4 points!
“Prison economy spirals as price of pack of cigarettes surpasses two handjobs”
Unscrupulous soup scalpers 😂 met a few of those myself
Every time I see a new peepop video drop, my heart skips a beat. (Not in a gay way tho)
That's not good yo, that happened to me once, it's why I decided never to do coke again.
I'm totally gay for these videos
Full flaming gay, absolutely ignited
It's totally not gay to love it in a not gay gay way.... otherwise that's gay .
@@joelglanton6531 Rookie numbers
Just for the record… Chee Chee‘s are good if you’re starving. I prefer spicy Herrs Cheese Curls, Scrappy Jack’s Spanish Rice, 2 Beef Soups, with a Summer Sausage or pepperoni… Add Mayo if available. Slamming. Use the chip bag. Not too much water. Let it soak too. Not too shabby.😂
Nobody cares about shit prison food its literal dog food
this guy rules so hard
Because he went to jail? 😂
@@halfpint90ya?
O’doyle rules
I love this pod cast but I wish I didn’t listen to this while I trying to sleep.
The dude that was r@ping the guy must of been pretty wild because dudes don’t play about hygiene especially in the common at so for him to make a guy shove shit down the drain without having someone do anything to either one of them is amazing
I went to jail last year for 3 months and it really is a different world. I still dream that I'm in jail again at least a few times a week. And that was only 3 months. The first and last 2 weeks are the hardest. I got lucky because I was in a small county jail out in the country. We only had 1 black guy in our pod most of the time and he was really cool. We played chess a lot.
Chess rules. Hell yeah
I went for a month when my other friends got bailed out instantly. It was supposed to be a manslaughter charge (this insane guy attacked us as we were driving to give him a place to stay after a party) and we just defended ourselves and stopped to get him out of the car. We drove away and I guess he died that night from what seemingly was him just laying down in the middle of a main road. Like I said, he wasn't in a good frame of mind, but he was attacking us in the car and you can't have that. This was like 4 years ago and I still have dreams several times a month about it. It's stupid. No good deed goes unpunished sometimes
@@FACEGRINDproductionsChrist, sorry to hear that
Holy fuck the swan dive
I hope I never go to prison
@@robert9016 County is worse than prison.
@@raw_si_siht can confirm
@00gr1ngo Prison is a resort. County is the underpass.
Shit happens all the time lol had some old ass guy that threw shit on his p.o throw himself down the stairs took them 10 minutes to come get him we thought he was dea d
Rule 1 never roll max on commissary your first 2 or 3 weeks in. You gotta feel it out and establish yourself before you flash the cash.
Oh yeah, if they find out your rollin early everyone will try to play you
The way I survived prison was by not going 😎
Couple of my homies was up in Gratesford for a bit. That jail is rough from what I've been told. Glad I never been. Never heard a good story lol
That rape story is gonna make me not skip my work outs !!!
Never seen a pic of Bert, but somehow I know exactly what he looks like lol
Matt's Declassified Prison Survival Guide
my buddy from college told me a ton of stories like this... taking out the light bulb to hook up wires to heat up ramen... and stacking freeze dried coffee to dose it at one time.
Romani Gypsy here... can confirm they are nuts and lots of them in PA. They tend to populate states that also have a lot of Amish because the laws towards home repair are more laxed. They specialize in robbery through home repair fraud. If you live in PA you've probably seen the 1" layer of black top that's crumbling and shitty.. that's them.
Why not just do a decent job ???
Exactly. I don't live like them. I'm a "gauja" to them. @@fleadoggreen9062
@@fleadoggreen9062 It's kind of part of the culture. Essentially a group of outcast that where generationally hated by everyone around them. They stuck together and grew to hate the rest and win win. I imagine it's akin to a nazi paying you premium for a job for you to purposely make sure it will only last a week.
This summer camp sounds really fun!
SODTAOE on the jumpsuit is goated
Fuck yes
greatest of all time ed>saying "sick" "cool" "amazin"
This is what americanas use their atrophied brains for :') Zoomers are hopeless
What does it mean?
@@nurgle333 suck our dicks to all our enemies
@@nurgle333 suck our d*cks to all our enemies
I'd much rather get stabbed while I'm dry than get stabbed when I'm soaked for some reason.
I have no idea why I agree with you
Your instincts are correct water will prevent your blood from closing the wound
If only Jeffery would have seen this guide 🎉
sounds like jackie junior from the sopranos
This dude sounds like bubbles friend from the wire
Jfc that’s spot on lmfao
This was one of the most entertaining things I've ever listened to
7:57 In the military they call that a waffle stomp.
It's always somebody else getting rap$D, not them 😏
Last stint in jail I was 30 on an old charge. Played so much basketball. That part made me so happy.
Matt loves that he had young boys😂😂😂
Ive been in george w hill 7 times and I was on unit 8, intake block, when this dude killed himself
This guy sounds like Jackie Jr from the sopranos
Does Nissin Foods know what American prisoners are doing with their product?
I want part 2
ua-cam.com/video/xtI-OBsnlt0/v-deo.html
Shoutout prison spud
When I got outta prison my girl ask me what the first thing I wanted to do was and I said shit with the door closed.
Anyone know what this episode is called / which number? Want to listen to the whole thing but having trouble finding it.
Yeah. Wanna know who this guy is
Radio dawgs ep 50…
lol matt got jailraped in the drunk tank
The guy I was in TC with, I’ll never forget. Ah what’s his name? Anyway.
Love this podcast but this one turned me off. Man, getting raped in prison should never be laughed about. Just because you did something dumb doesn't mean you should get infected with AIDS in prison. It's the responsibility of the prison guards to look out for the prisoners. These lazy f**** find it easier to let the most heinous criminals run the prison. Disgusting.
Idk if you missed it, but the only people getting "raped" are those who deliberately become someone's bitch for protection
14 x 2 like 60
28 cells with 2 each. 56
I wonder if Matt's boy was in prison with wallo from million dollars worth of game, he talks about greater Ford or greeters Ford or however you pronounce it prison in Pennsylvania as well. It's like meeting a celebrity lol
Someone give this man a drink of water!
Unscrupulous soup merchants
😊 b
the first thing they say to you soon as you go in they like did ya bring anything and you always say no nomatter what or they finna rob yo asss legit ASS i never but nun in my booty but that what they finna ask you and if you do they gonna want it all so you gotta deny it and throw down if it come to it both times that the first question i got asked "did ya bring anything"
this guy sounds so much like jackie from the sopranos i cant unhear it
The wild wild west
just straight staring into Matt’s eyes listening to this.
Sounds like jackie jr if he went thru the system
Most Delco man
bro, i did the same fucking thing with the shower!
Love this guy he’s so chill, but wish he would take a drink of water or something. Sounds like his mouth is full of cotton wool
Realization: I think I’m a Yung Boy for an Old Head.
Pt 2 ASAP PLS PEEPOP
This is the funniest GD episode!!! Old heads and young Boyz yuh!
I wonder if it's different at different places? My boy that did years in federal and a bunch of time at Big Sandy said kites were notes/letters.
Yep. That's also why the descriptions all vary when someone talks about prison, they don't share the same culture.
Kite is the brand of tobacco. Kites are notes passed between cells
The slang changes in different areas.
Somebody get this poor guy a glass of water! His cottonmouth is killing me!😂😂
Dude doesn't sound like he's taken a sip of water since 1992, and that shit right there bugs the living fuck out of me...
I took group showers when I was at MCRD it was hot AF
Why does everyone that gets out of prison talk like this dude?
Cause the whole east coast is a prison funnel
People who get wrapped up in the system tend to have lower IQs after getting out and they seem to regress mentally. They're not dumb, but the stress just burns them right out.
Not me
For a couple of minutes I couldn’t figure out if he was black or white. I guess when the prison pop is 90/10 black/white, it just rubs off on you.
Uighur shit
Gotta get me a young boy fr fr
Listening at 1 am after a too many strong beers was a bad idea
19:08 what was that about Callen involving a Bart Simpson tattoo?
Shout out all da young boulz n ole headz
One of the best eps of all time
One of the best guests ever.
What’s the guest’s name?
Every part of that is gay.
Someone get this guest a glass of Fn water
sounds like a thoro youngbul. John Dameko (this dudes ol’head) was my next door neighbor growing up. John Meek & his bro Chris Meek. We’d play ball in my back yard & they’d yell “come out front” out their window. Bro, my whole lil dirty squad would run through my crib, trampling each other, dog barking, mom yelling 😂 all to check out whatever him & his boys just got. (Most of them were My boys older brothers) He’d shoot his new guns into our row house lawn, let us taze each other, shoot compound bows & potato guns into the grave yard, right off his mom’s porch.😂 My first time on a motorcycle was with Chris Meek. They’d build bicycle ramps way to fuc|{ing big for me 😂 and they’d throw footballs & baseballs so high we thought they went in the clouds bro. I’d track them balls through two lanes of 30mph traffic like my life depended on each catch. Never wanted to hear “Drops it”… “in the middle of our street Ladies & Gentleman” as they’d always say 😂 Snowball & water hose fights through the kitchen windows, they faced each other and were only like 5 feet apart.
Bro I loved all that sh¡t.
Chris & John MeeK
two thoro Philly OG’s from the 0.
definitely my “ol’heads”
SWP 7-0
Where’s part 2??
Soon brother
23:32 thats water retension, too much sodium.
Laughs in CA prison
8:25 a guy committing suicide in county can't help but lmao
Could have been there for anything from an hp of weed to aggravated murder
I was thinking from the title this is going to go to gay land pretty quick. Only thing missing in this episode is Theo Von and Joe Rogan.
whats gay about this
@@ghiidra__ easy, toucher
Gotta love interrupting your guest before he can finish any sentence.
I wonder if buddy ever heard the legend of Titi Jerry on the inside.
First
What did he mean at the end that his young boys was gonna pluck him for free?
What episode is this
50
People don't realize prisons dont have Air Conditioning. It's miserable for inmates in the hotter months.