I am a Dutch Indo man. Born in The Netherlands with Indonesian roots. I even sometimes have difficulties with the superficial conversations. I love to go to the core but Dutch people are not so open. Opinions are not always taken well by many. Dutch people are direct but they can be rude as well but they don't see it like that. I understand that you didn't feel that home right away. Dutch are not the easiest people. And stampot..no thank you, i rather go for Indonesian food😅. Ooh and i indeed like people to come on time. Haha, coming late is considered rude.
I don’t experience that at all… we literally talk about everything, especially the tough subjects. With friends or strangers. As context, I live near Utrecht area and brought up in a small southern village
8:50 A neighbor complaining about quiet music at 8 in the evening isn't "normal" in my book (and I'm pretty sure not for the average Dutch person). Don't mistake your specific experience with people with the culture of a whole nation. In fact because of the quite individualistic nature of (what's left of) the Dutch culture, individual people can vary wildly in their social standards and behavior.
Well, they just asked to turn it down. Understandable. I myself never turn music aloud, only through headphones. I don't think neighbors should be able to hear my leasure. And I would appreciate it if my neighbors were doing the same.
I agree, asking to turn down the music at 8 isn’t normal. Your neighbor probably is a Karen. And you apartment complex probably has thin wall. At 23.00 it needs to be quit before the police would be called. In my experience, usually Dutch people don’t call the police as quickly as the Germans. Usually they try to resolve an issue among themselves. But living here for 40 years, that could be my bubble
I came across Alisa's reels about a rave festival a while ago and just stumbled upon this video. Nice talk! I can relate to it as a russian who lived in the Netherlands for 4 years (in Alkmaar and Utrecht). I never felt at home there because of the agenda lifestyle, lack of spontaneity, weather and high rent prices. Now I’m watching this video from Tbilisi 🌞 The biggest shock for me was that people would bring their own food to parties and take it back afterward. Once, a host offered me a slice of pizza, I took half of it - and then had to send him a tikki. At least heineken was free Also dated/lived with a dutch guy for 2 years. He was nice and generous, but after we broke up, he took back all the birthday presents he'd given me because they’d cost good money, even though we always shared our budget. Dutch directness is a great thing, however there is a difference between being direct and tactless. The latter is just an “abuse” of directness and a negative quality overall.
So if I understood it correctly, her family was forced to leave Kyrgyzstan as political refugees and they were invited by the Netherlands to come to their country. I can understand that for a young woman at the age of eighteen, who didn’t choose to move abroad, the new situation must have been difficult. I can also understand that after having lived in a rather big city before, it must have felt boring living somewhere in the middle of nowhere in the north of the Netherlands. But I would expect that now, quite a few years later and older, when she’s looking back at that time, she would also show some gratitude maybe, for the fact that the Netherlands offered her and her family a new home and a new life. But instead, she sounds to me a bit like a princess - still irritated by the strange behavior of these locals - who would have deserved better.
I like what I hear about the Netherlands and the Dutch people here, and Dutch is one of my most favorite languages (2nd place, probably). The country is a little too warm for my taste, but at least it's not too hot in the summer. It's unlikely that I will move to the Netherlands (as Swedish culture fits me much better and Swedish is my most favorite language, which I also speak), but it's one of the top preferred countries on my list.
Nice interview. Alisa really made some good points about Dutch society in general. You can tell she's been observant. 👍🏻 But I really would like to say: what a bad luck with men! 😱 (Was gonna say taste, but hey, that's why you date people, to put the garbage with the trash) Ofcourse it's very much appreciated being on time. But.....Letting a guy know you're gonna be late (I don't know how much but still) and he's just like "nope, not doing that, I'm out"?! And the next day he's complaining about how disrespectful shé was? There is a word for those. It starts with an A and ends with hole (you can fill in the blanks yourself, right?) And telling a girl she's different then other eastern europeans because her make up isn't perfect and her teeth are crooked is just plain rude. Even in the Netherlands, on a first date criticizing a girl that way is just being rude....period! Anyways, enjoyed the conversation. Thanks 😊
I keep being amazed by the subject of 'sending a tikkie'... I've lived in the Netherlands my whole life and know quite a few people but I've never sent or received a tikkie from someone that involved a small amount! And I've never heard people in my environment or friends who heard it from other friends😅 I really think that you get to know the most idiotic people in the Netherlands
I had an existential, trust and identity crisis which where compounding interdependently when I was 10,5 years old. It hurt a lot, and it seems western civilizations want to bury such mental phenomena behind a curtain, making the whole of life very superficial. This actually all started after the 1971 de-coupling of the us dollar from the gold standard, but in the US probably started in the 1950s booming economy. It seems, that welfare disturbes the mind in endless contemplation, making cultural corruption rempant in such societies. I call that the decadence of modern civilizations and their welfare. The Dutch of today are not the Dutch of the 1900s. They have become completely different. Only parts of the Dutch culture remain, as a Skeleton of what once was.
I hear her points, I do see a difference between the Randstad (area with most of the big cities) and the rest of the country. You hear that she didn't live in a big city.
Yeah she said she came from a "not so big city" yet Bishkek is the capital of Kirgisistan with more than 1 million inhabitants. A foreign farmlands society which has not experienced disruptions is a contrast.
The city of Groningen’s is well know for it's a youthful and energetic vibe, including the night life! Groningen doesn't has closing hours so you can party as long as you like. It's a young, student city and ranked in the top 5 in Europa as one of the most satisfactory cities to reside in. It has 'the reputation that it's offering a desirable and fulfilling urban living experience'. Your Groningen-experience is not in line with the common experiences of people, including a lot of International students from all over the world.
40:35 I am glad that you like it. Not only what's on the inside is more important (it's quite obvious really), but putting on makeup, pefume or altering the look with artificial enhancements is less natural and, therefore, more off-putting. Being yourself just fresh from the shower is the best way to look.
Regel nummer 1 ben op tijd. Zo moeilijk is dat niet toch? Je staat echt voor lul als je half uur op je date zou moeten wachten met je drankje zittend aan een tafeltje. Als je echt iemand leuk vindt dan ben je gewoon optijd 😃 Zie het maar als een Dutch stress test😂
I was born in Brazil and I live currently in the Netherlands. I have been to some Slavic countries. I actually think that Latin American and Slavic culture somehow look alike. For us it is important how we present ourselves (appearance) and sometimes status. Family is also important. There are positive and negative aspects about it, but it is definitely similar.
As a native dutch guy i do not agree with how most guys act. I personally love femine girls and not suprisingly i tend to date mostly eastern european girls, so please, do not stop looking good!
It's always funny to hear someone complain about dutch people being anal about time and schedules. As a scandinavian I think the Dutch are not at all punctual. Always 5-10 minutes late for normal meetings. Always 1-2 hours late for home parties etc. Never ever on time. So it is all subjective I guess :)
I’m a huge fan of your comedy reels, Alisa but I just don’t believe that all you can say about Dutch men is that they are great fathers. I’ve been in NL for 3 years, as a Slavic girls and I’ve had soooo many trashy stories with Dutch men. Greedy and superficial!!!
9:23 Hahaha I'm so "non-Dutch" in this regard (and some others). I just embraced (and take part in) all the jokes about me being late all the time as well 🤣 I think this might also in part be a generational difference though. I grew up in the 90s before the age of smartphones where you would just ring your friend's doorbell to see if they wanted to hang around, and my parent's friends and family would randomly drop by all the time as well. And the strange thing is my expat friends seem to be the most punctual actually 😆 but this might be completely accidental, or them trying to fit in to what seems to be "Dutch culture", which might be somewhat colored by those punctual types (and loads of youtubers etc.) being more vocal about it.
I'm Polish female and it feels like there were a bit too many stereotypes about slavic women in general. But probably I'm not a common slavic then because I identify with a lot what was said about Dutch people. I'm not surprised that guys were offended by their date coming late or that Dutch people are annoyed with noises in the evening.
I'm a Dutch male and I'm pretty sure there were just as many stereotypes about Dutch people ;) But then again I'd say the whole point of this video was to share experiences with a certain culture and how those experiences were different from the ones in other cultures. It's hard to avoid taking some sort of averages into account which are inherently stereotypical. Of course reality is always a bit different and I personally never understood certain of those Dutch traits and sometimes my expat friends have them stronger than some Dutch friends. Nonetheless I find those (often somewhat stereotypical) cultural differences very interesting and I think they certainly have their value (when not taken as some absolute truth obviously).
What an intelligent, nuanced conversation! It's rare for me to agree with everything that's being said. Here are some remarks I'd like to make. BEING LATE 12:41 If you're late in Nederland and you're letting them know, it doesn't make it alright; it just makes it less bad. Interesting in this respect is how this reflects in the language: the Nederlanders don't say that they're "late", they either say they are "on time", or "too late" (not meaning too late for meeting at all, but too late to be on time). MALE/FEMALE STEREOTYPES 13:54 Also, the Nederlanders don't pardon you being late because you're a woman, since these stereotypes are less prominent in Nederland. The Nederlanders are very egalitarian. 20:46 I don't think in Nederland you ever have to "prove yourself as a woman, as a man". 37:01 In general, status is not important in Nederland. 41:05 "Be a man in the relationship" Again, these stereotypes don't live in Nederland. They work on people's nerves. Nederlanders don't play parts when it comes to gender. 1:07:05 They play parts when they have small talk (whereas Russians and Ukranians prefer to have real conversations, even if it's about negative things).
Turkmenistan is one of the most brutal dictatorships in the world. So having the chance to move to the Netherlands, one of the most free, democratic, tolerant and richest countries in the world with all the opportunities you got, should make you feel very grateful. I am sorry to say, but complaining about seeing cows and about the rain is ridiculous in that regard
About your Slavic friends complaining about dates with Dutch guys... Well... I don't know them, obviously. But I did date more than my share of fully uninteresting entitled manipulative young ladies. And yes, I will not be the best version of me then. So if the experiences are consistent, maybe it is not a him problem, but a her problem. As you notice yourself: if you met a Dutchman, you met one Dutchman. We are not some monolithic thing. Just as "Slavic women" are not.
Being too late on a date is not an issue but being late without giving some notice is totally disrespectful. Still as a dutchmen Im not so much about exact times. 10 minutes too late is totally ok. Also partytimes are not exact in my circle, you can come between certain times. I guess Groningen is very different from the west (randstad). Also dutch men like natural beauty.
What I take away from this video is that culture differences are not THAT night-and-day as they are made out to be... I am very sorry for that €0.57 Tikkie, though. Personally I have a hard time associating with the rude directness that's often mentioned. Personally I feel that's mostly iconic of the western Dutchies.
Sorry to say so, but I can hear that you are not native Dutch, when you speak it. I would locate the accent to eastern (nowadays Central) Europe. Not saying that your Dutch is bad, but it is nearly impossible to hide an accent. In how far is it rude, if you ask a guy, "does this pair of pants make my arse look fat ?" and he says "Yes" ?? The Dutch guy will say, yes if it is true. It is direct and open communication, we don't lie to make you feel good.
A very nice talk! Many good observations, but also bad luck / weird guys in there. The rude directness can be explained by thinking, "does everyone know this is just what people say to be polite?". If yes, then to a dutch person it will sound extremely fake. If you don't mean it, you might as well skip it, right? I could imagine someone saying, "great you don't overdo it with make-up" but saying it's bad is kinda untypical for a dutchy. And the braces even more so, even though it's great it's way too weird and too honest! I think there are a lot of subcultures, like people from a big city vs village that have an impact on stereotypical behavior. Also different in the Randstad vs south/east/north. But even more by a combination of wealth/education/upbringing (socioeconomic status). You have a huge middle ground, but the extremely low (trash/ordinair) and extremely high (posh/kakkers) are like culture bubbles that are like totally different. Like people bragging about what car they drive or brand of shoes could be found in either of those ends but not the middle! I thought (too much) smalltalk was everywhere not typically dutch? I myself am very uncomfortable with smalltalk, and I hate soccer and gossip. I hardly watch any sports and don't follow celebrity "news" so that can be awkward. But then I do talk about nerdy hobbies (with equally nerdy friends) or love movies/series/music so maybe that's smalltalk too?
I would never see a person again who made me pay for a bus ticket or for a half of a wine bottle when I was invited ! This is very offensive to my perspective. (PS I’m Slavic and even taller and also have problems with my high in my country :) )
I, as a Dutchman, am shocked that Ukrainians just throw trash on the ground, not in trash-can's here in my country. They also attack black people and Turkish people (immigrants) for no reason at all. That shocks me.
What nonsense. I didn't know what this comment meant but I looked it up. And as a Dutchman I can tell you that I lost my virginity at sixteen and have a nightlife that also started at about that age. And I was crazy about house parties. And they were there every weekend. And I could go completely crazy. I am not religious but I was raised with Christian norms and values. I attach great importance to my family. I bought a house with a large garden when I was 25. And I completely renovated it in my spare time. And as far as the colonial is concerned, the Dutch did not cause a high mortality rate at all, nor was it policy to settle there, unlike Spain, Portugal and Italy. Who completely appropriated their colonies and treated the original inhabitants as second-degree inhabitants. This is also the reason that from Mexico to Argentina the population speaks their languages and the genes for the vast majority can be traced back to Spain, Italy and Portugal. And you do not see this in Indonesia or Suriname. And not all people not white is from slave history. Its only they self want us to belief. So we feel guilty en pay them for it. the only thing that is a big difference in culture is that women are treated with much more respect and as equals. and maybe that is why we are much happier and much richer. I must admit that the Dutch women and media is a different story. They blame Dutch white men for their history and do not wanne be with a men with this shaming history and is the not Dutchmen what they all going fore and promoted by Dutch media by picking the famous and influencers of the future . With no place for the white bad men who has done so much cruelty to women and dark skined part of world. They must sit alone and think about there behavior . That this is happening and beliefs is because they belief all on base of talk and dont invest time to spit in history and how it goes anywhere outside Europe. in reality. That this is not so much evolving in South Europe is most likely because . if you are as small as the southern european man. yes then you have to pretend that you are cool, strong and tough. while we already are because of our height and do not attach any value to this. also it is much less common for us to seduce a woman by lying incredibly about who and what you are. on the other hand it has been noticed so often on holiday that girls were flooded with enormous big BS stories. for example that they did their job in a hotel or bar on the side because their uncle was the owner. but the rest of the year they worked as a surgeon at a children's hospital in a big city inland. above a scooter rental company had a room with only a bed and a wardrobe. but in their hometown they had a villa with a swimming pool and not to mention their car. Yes they were driving an old fiat punto but that was because the Porsche they had was at a garage for repairs for 6 weeks. they had all crashed in an illegal street race. and then this. everyone who likes this is either a southern European themselves or a lady who is not very smart and falls for their talk. if she had a little more general knowledge. she would know what the relationships between northern and southern Europe really are. if not, know one thing. the truth is never solely dependent on persuasiveness. while a lie is completely dependent on that. so go ahead and like.
Could you give me some advises how to meet a guy in the Netherlands, if I currently live in France, I really like this notion of a tall nice Dutch guy :) but unless you live in a country I guess it’s very difficult to meet someone from abroad.
@@alisalaw5418Also next to English try to learn (Basic) Dutch and spend some weekends and vacations in the Netherlands in several cities. To see how our country can differ in different cities
I am amazed: the girl is a political refugee and complains about the party culture in the Netherlands! Shame on her! If she is not satisfied about the culture: she is free to go back!!!
Please do not take individual opinions of people talking about the Netherlands (or worse: just Amsterdam) serious. You have to interview a lot of people to come to a good representative opinion about the Netherlands and there are a lot of videos which do this. This video is not one of them.
True but she also clearly indicated that there are exceptions on both sides and that these are her experiences. In general it is true that we Dutch do not show off, arrive on time, are fairly direct etc.
Alisa's accent in English is a mixture between Slavic and Dutch. And she has a very pleasant voice!
I noticed that as well!
I am a Dutch Indo man. Born in The Netherlands with Indonesian roots.
I even sometimes have difficulties with the superficial conversations. I love to go to the core but Dutch people are not so open. Opinions are not always taken well by many. Dutch people are direct but they can be rude as well but they don't see it like that. I understand that you didn't feel that home right away. Dutch are not the easiest people. And stampot..no thank you, i rather go for Indonesian food😅. Ooh and i indeed like people to come on time. Haha, coming late is considered rude.
As a "Dutch" men, completely felt her experience, most of my close relations: "We can talk about anything, As long as it's nothing"
So just smalltalk
I don’t experience that at all… we literally talk about everything, especially the tough subjects. With friends or strangers. As context, I live near Utrecht area and brought up in a small southern village
8:50 A neighbor complaining about quiet music at 8 in the evening isn't "normal" in my book (and I'm pretty sure not for the average Dutch person). Don't mistake your specific experience with people with the culture of a whole nation. In fact because of the quite individualistic nature of (what's left of) the Dutch culture, individual people can vary wildly in their social standards and behavior.
Well, they just asked to turn it down. Understandable.
I myself never turn music aloud, only through headphones. I don't think neighbors should be able to hear my leasure. And I would appreciate it if my neighbors were doing the same.
I agree, asking to turn down the music at 8 isn’t normal. Your neighbor probably is a Karen. And you apartment complex probably has thin wall. At 23.00 it needs to be quit before the police would be called.
In my experience, usually Dutch people don’t call the police as quickly as the Germans. Usually they try to resolve an issue among themselves. But living here for 40 years, that could be my bubble
I came across Alisa's reels about a rave festival a while ago and just stumbled upon this video. Nice talk! I can relate to it as a russian who lived in the Netherlands for 4 years (in Alkmaar and Utrecht). I never felt at home there because of the agenda lifestyle, lack of spontaneity, weather and high rent prices. Now I’m watching this video from Tbilisi 🌞
The biggest shock for me was that people would bring their own food to parties and take it back afterward. Once, a host offered me a slice of pizza, I took half of it - and then had to send him a tikki. At least heineken was free
Also dated/lived with a dutch guy for 2 years. He was nice and generous, but after we broke up, he took back all the birthday presents he'd given me because they’d cost good money, even though we always shared our budget.
Dutch directness is a great thing, however there is a difference between being direct and tactless. The latter is just an “abuse” of directness and a negative quality overall.
Being an hour late signals a lack of interest. That would be a red flag if it were a date.
So if I understood it correctly, her family was forced to leave Kyrgyzstan as political refugees and they were invited by the Netherlands to come to their country. I can understand that for a young woman at the age of eighteen, who didn’t choose to move abroad, the new situation must have been difficult. I can also understand that after having lived in a rather big city before, it must have felt boring living somewhere in the middle of nowhere in the north of the Netherlands. But I would expect that now, quite a few years later and older, when she’s looking back at that time, she would also show some gratitude maybe, for the fact that the Netherlands offered her and her family a new home and a new life. But instead, she sounds to me a bit like a princess - still irritated by the strange behavior of these locals - who would have deserved better.
I think wanting deep connections and conversations is a typical introvert need and I think that’s universal thing, not necessarily cultural.
I like what I hear about the Netherlands and the Dutch people here, and Dutch is one of my most favorite languages (2nd place, probably). The country is a little too warm for my taste, but at least it's not too hot in the summer. It's unlikely that I will move to the Netherlands (as Swedish culture fits me much better and Swedish is my most favorite language, which I also speak), but it's one of the top preferred countries on my list.
Something interesting is that the woman in Dutch Dating shows always want a guy who can 'handle" them, talking about gender roles.
The girl Alisa from Ukraine has a very pleasant voice timbre. I just want to listen and listen))
Lekker op repeat klikken jwz.
I really agree. What a very pleasant voice!❤
Nice interview.
Alisa really made some good points about Dutch society in general. You can tell she's been observant. 👍🏻
But I really would like to say: what a bad luck with men! 😱 (Was gonna say taste, but hey, that's why you date people, to put the garbage with the trash)
Ofcourse it's very much appreciated being on time. But.....Letting a guy know you're gonna be late (I don't know how much but still) and he's just like "nope, not doing that, I'm out"?! And the next day he's complaining about how disrespectful shé was?
There is a word for those. It starts with an A and ends with hole (you can fill in the blanks yourself, right?)
And telling a girl she's different then other eastern europeans because her make up isn't perfect and her teeth are crooked is just plain rude. Even in the Netherlands, on a first date criticizing a girl that way is just being rude....period!
Anyways, enjoyed the conversation. Thanks 😊
I keep being amazed by the subject of 'sending a tikkie'... I've lived in the Netherlands my whole life and know quite a few people but I've never sent or received a tikkie from someone that involved a small amount! And I've never heard people in my environment or friends who heard it from other friends😅 I really think that you get to know the most idiotic people in the Netherlands
I had an existential, trust and identity crisis which where compounding interdependently when I was 10,5 years old. It hurt a lot, and it seems western civilizations want to bury such mental phenomena behind a curtain, making the whole of life very superficial. This actually all started after the 1971 de-coupling of the us dollar from the gold standard, but in the US probably started in the 1950s booming economy. It seems, that welfare disturbes the mind in endless contemplation, making cultural corruption rempant in such societies. I call that the decadence of modern civilizations and their welfare. The Dutch of today are not the Dutch of the 1900s. They have become completely different. Only parts of the Dutch culture remain, as a Skeleton of what once was.
I hear her points, I do see a difference between the Randstad (area with most of the big cities) and the rest of the country. You hear that she didn't live in a big city.
Yeah she said she came from a "not so big city" yet Bishkek is the capital of Kirgisistan with more than 1 million inhabitants. A foreign farmlands society which has not experienced disruptions is a contrast.
Lucky for her
The city of Groningen’s is well know for it's a youthful and energetic vibe, including the night life! Groningen doesn't has closing hours so you can party as long as you like. It's a young, student city and ranked in the top 5 in Europa as one of the most satisfactory cities to reside in. It has 'the reputation that it's offering a desirable and fulfilling urban living experience'. Your Groningen-experience is not in line with the common experiences of people, including a lot of International students from all over the world.
Next question, how many nationalities did the host date? lol
40:35 I am glad that you like it.
Not only what's on the inside is more important (it's quite obvious really), but putting on makeup, pefume or altering the look with artificial enhancements is less natural and, therefore, more off-putting. Being yourself just fresh from the shower is the best way to look.
Regel nummer 1 ben op tijd. Zo moeilijk is dat niet toch? Je staat echt voor lul als je half uur op je date zou moeten wachten met je drankje zittend aan een tafeltje. Als je echt iemand leuk vindt dan ben je gewoon optijd 😃 Zie het maar als een Dutch stress test😂
Boeit het toch dat ze of hij te laat is . Als ze er maar is . je weet toch nooit de reden dat iemand later is, tis maar een date
There is bragging in every culture, they just find different ways to do it. The term "humble brag" comes to mind.
I was born in Brazil and I live currently in the Netherlands. I have been to some Slavic countries. I actually think that Latin American and Slavic culture somehow look alike. For us it is important how we present ourselves (appearance) and sometimes status. Family is also important. There are positive and negative aspects about it, but it is definitely similar.
But then your men wear flip flops tank tops And shorts and are super open confident and social And not hierarchical. It's interesting.
We are also organized because throughout the centuries we have to work well together to protect and conquer the land from the sea.
hmm, where does that leave philippines, cuba, greece, etc. ?
As a native dutch guy i do not agree with how most guys act. I personally love femine girls and not suprisingly i tend to date mostly eastern european girls, so please, do not stop looking good!
It's always funny to hear someone complain about dutch people being anal about time and schedules. As a scandinavian I think the Dutch are not at all punctual. Always 5-10 minutes late for normal meetings. Always 1-2 hours late for home parties etc. Never ever on time. So it is all subjective I guess :)
I’m a huge fan of your comedy reels, Alisa but I just don’t believe that all you can say about Dutch men is that they are great fathers. I’ve been in NL for 3 years, as a Slavic girls and I’ve had soooo many trashy stories with Dutch men. Greedy and superficial!!!
9:23 Hahaha I'm so "non-Dutch" in this regard (and some others). I just embraced (and take part in) all the jokes about me being late all the time as well 🤣 I think this might also in part be a generational difference though. I grew up in the 90s before the age of smartphones where you would just ring your friend's doorbell to see if they wanted to hang around, and my parent's friends and family would randomly drop by all the time as well.
And the strange thing is my expat friends seem to be the most punctual actually 😆 but this might be completely accidental, or them trying to fit in to what seems to be "Dutch culture", which might be somewhat colored by those punctual types (and loads of youtubers etc.) being more vocal about it.
I'm Polish female and it feels like there were a bit too many stereotypes about slavic women in general. But probably I'm not a common slavic then because I identify with a lot what was said about Dutch people. I'm not surprised that guys were offended by their date coming late or that Dutch people are annoyed with noises in the evening.
We mostly talked Ukrainian and Russian culture as Polish love of brands and status is nowhere as pronounced as ours from what I have experienced.
I'm a Dutch male and I'm pretty sure there were just as many stereotypes about Dutch people ;) But then again I'd say the whole point of this video was to share experiences with a certain culture and how those experiences were different from the ones in other cultures. It's hard to avoid taking some sort of averages into account which are inherently stereotypical.
Of course reality is always a bit different and I personally never understood certain of those Dutch traits and sometimes my expat friends have them stronger than some Dutch friends. Nonetheless I find those (often somewhat stereotypical) cultural differences very interesting and I think they certainly have their value (when not taken as some absolute truth obviously).
What an intelligent, nuanced conversation! It's rare for me to agree with everything that's being said.
Here are some remarks I'd like to make.
BEING LATE
12:41 If you're late in Nederland and you're letting them know, it doesn't make it alright; it just makes it less bad.
Interesting in this respect is how this reflects in the language: the Nederlanders don't say that they're "late", they either say they are "on time", or "too late" (not meaning too late for meeting at all, but too late to be on time).
MALE/FEMALE STEREOTYPES
13:54 Also, the Nederlanders don't pardon you being late because you're a woman, since these stereotypes are less prominent in Nederland. The Nederlanders are very egalitarian.
20:46 I don't think in Nederland you ever have to "prove yourself as a woman, as a man".
37:01 In general, status is not important in Nederland.
41:05 "Be a man in the relationship" Again, these stereotypes don't live in Nederland. They work on people's nerves. Nederlanders don't play parts when it comes to gender.
1:07:05 They play parts when they have small talk (whereas Russians and Ukranians prefer to have real conversations, even if it's about negative things).
Thank you! Great points 😊
Turkmenistan is one of the most brutal dictatorships in the world. So having the chance to move to the Netherlands, one of the most free, democratic, tolerant and richest countries in the world with all the opportunities you got, should make you feel very grateful. I am sorry to say, but complaining about seeing cows and about the rain is ridiculous in that regard
Kyrgyzstan
Maybe she has just a bad taste in man? Something she should consider 👀
About your Slavic friends complaining about dates with Dutch guys... Well... I don't know them, obviously. But I did date more than my share of fully uninteresting entitled manipulative young ladies. And yes, I will not be the best version of me then. So if the experiences are consistent, maybe it is not a him problem, but a her problem. As you notice yourself: if you met a Dutchman, you met one Dutchman. We are not some monolithic thing. Just as "Slavic women" are not.
Being too late on a date is not an issue but being late without giving some notice is totally disrespectful. Still as a dutchmen Im not so much about exact times. 10 minutes too late is totally ok. Also partytimes are not exact in my circle, you can come between certain times. I guess Groningen is very different from the west (randstad). Also dutch men like natural beauty.
What I take away from this video is that culture differences are not THAT night-and-day as they are made out to be... I am very sorry for that €0.57 Tikkie, though. Personally I have a hard time associating with the rude directness that's often mentioned. Personally I feel that's mostly iconic of the western Dutchies.
50/50 is so there is no residual expectation from either side. Hence Dutch women prefer to pay half.
Sorry to say so, but I can hear that you are not native Dutch, when you speak it. I would locate the accent to eastern (nowadays Central) Europe. Not saying that your Dutch is bad, but it is nearly impossible to hide an accent.
In how far is it rude, if you ask a guy, "does this pair of pants make my arse look fat ?" and he says "Yes" ?? The Dutch guy will say, yes if it is true. It is direct and open communication, we don't lie to make you feel good.
A very nice talk!
Many good observations, but also bad luck / weird guys in there.
The rude directness can be explained by thinking, "does everyone know this is just what people say to be polite?". If yes, then to a dutch person it will sound extremely fake. If you don't mean it, you might as well skip it, right?
I could imagine someone saying, "great you don't overdo it with make-up" but saying it's bad is kinda untypical for a dutchy. And the braces even more so, even though it's great it's way too weird and too honest!
I think there are a lot of subcultures, like people from a big city vs village that have an impact on stereotypical behavior. Also different in the Randstad vs south/east/north.
But even more by a combination of wealth/education/upbringing (socioeconomic status). You have a huge middle ground, but the extremely low (trash/ordinair) and extremely high (posh/kakkers) are like culture bubbles that are like totally different. Like people bragging about what car they drive or brand of shoes could be found in either of those ends but not the middle!
I thought (too much) smalltalk was everywhere not typically dutch? I myself am very uncomfortable with smalltalk, and I hate soccer and gossip. I hardly watch any sports and don't follow celebrity "news" so that can be awkward. But then I do talk about nerdy hobbies (with equally nerdy friends) or love movies/series/music so maybe that's smalltalk too?
1:01:00 Ahhhhh!!
I would never see a person again who made me pay for a bus ticket or for a half of a wine bottle when I was invited ! This is very offensive to my perspective. (PS I’m Slavic and even taller and also have problems with my high in my country :) )
it's ridiculous I agree I wouldn't ever do that, its bad behavior.
Groninguhh
I agree on what you pointed out about culture as Turkish, thanks for sharing experience and we really like your instagram account Alisa🎉
I, as a Dutchman, am shocked that Ukrainians just throw trash on the ground, not in trash-can's here in my country. They also attack black people and Turkish people (immigrants) for no reason at all. That shocks me.
they have more in common with turks and black people than they know
@decollector95 agreed
@@decollector95 And their country is even closer to Turkey for example.
the virgin northern/western european vs the chad southern/eastern european
Hahah, the eternally choice. More finincially stable/boring vs exciting/less financially stable
What nonsense. I didn't know what this comment meant but I looked it up. And as a Dutchman I can tell you that I lost my virginity at sixteen and have a nightlife that also started at about that age. And I was crazy about house parties. And they were there every weekend. And I could go completely crazy. I am not religious but I was raised with Christian norms and values. I attach great importance to my family. I bought a house with a large garden when I was 25. And I completely renovated it in my spare time. And as far as the colonial is concerned, the Dutch did not cause a high mortality rate at all, nor was it policy to settle there, unlike Spain, Portugal and Italy. Who completely appropriated their colonies and treated the original inhabitants as second-degree inhabitants. This is also the reason that from Mexico to Argentina the population speaks their languages and the genes for the vast majority can be traced back to Spain, Italy and Portugal. And you do not see this in Indonesia or Suriname. And not all people not white is from slave history. Its only they self want us to belief. So we feel guilty en pay them for it. the only thing that is a big difference in culture is that women are treated with much more respect and as equals. and maybe that is why we are much happier and much richer. I must admit that the Dutch women and media is a different story. They blame Dutch white men for their history and do not wanne be with a men with this shaming history and is the not Dutchmen what they all going fore and promoted by Dutch media by picking the famous and influencers of the future . With no place for the white bad men who has done so much cruelty to women and dark skined part of world. They must sit alone and think about there behavior .
That this is happening and beliefs is because they belief all on base of talk and dont invest time to spit in history and how it goes anywhere outside Europe. in reality. That this is not so much evolving in South Europe is most likely because . if you are as small as the southern european man. yes then you have to pretend that you are cool, strong and tough. while we already are because of our height and do not attach any value to this. also it is much less common for us to seduce a woman by lying incredibly about who and what you are. on the other hand it has been noticed so often on holiday that girls were flooded with enormous big BS stories. for example that they did their job in a hotel or bar on the side because their uncle was the owner. but the rest of the year they worked as a surgeon at a children's hospital in a big city inland. above a scooter rental company had a room with only a bed and a wardrobe. but in their hometown they had a villa with a swimming pool and not to mention their car. Yes they were driving an old fiat punto but that was because the Porsche they had was at a garage for repairs for 6 weeks. they had all crashed in an illegal street race. and then this. everyone who likes this is either a southern European themselves or a lady who is not very smart and falls for their talk. if she had a little more general knowledge. she would know what the relationships between northern and southern Europe really are. if not, know one thing. the truth is never solely dependent on persuasiveness. while a lie is completely dependent on that. so go ahead and like.
If it don't fit, don't force it. Just find your paradise elsewhere.
They love the money ..
You said the word LIKE thousands of times in this video. LOL!!!!
lol just before scrolling to this comment, I read the last segment of the video "The worst of the Dutch directness"
Could you give me some advises how to meet a guy in the Netherlands, if I currently live in France, I really like this notion of a tall nice Dutch guy :) but unless you live in a country I guess it’s very difficult to meet someone from abroad.
The only option here would be adjusting your location on Tinder Premium or travelling to NL.
@ thanks for the advice !
@@alisalaw5418Also next to English try to learn (Basic) Dutch and spend some weekends and vacations in the Netherlands in several cities. To see how our country can differ in different cities
I am amazed: the girl is a political refugee and complains about the party culture in the Netherlands! Shame on her! If she is not satisfied about the culture: she is free to go back!!!
well im dutch and i think dutch people are hating to wait :P
Nice interview I like it 🥰
IT'S DUMB WHEN ARE LATE ,!!!!!!!
Always curious why would u date ? Most of time it is just waste of time and energy . Or you're scared to be alone when you're older ?
Please do not take individual opinions of people talking about the Netherlands (or worse: just Amsterdam) serious. You have to interview a lot of people to come to a good representative opinion about the Netherlands and there are a lot of videos which do this. This video is not one of them.
True but she also clearly indicated that there are exceptions on both sides and that these are her experiences. In general it is true that we Dutch do not show off, arrive on time, are fairly direct etc.
Alisa, you are a beautiful woman inside and out, I think. I wish I was 30 years younger, haha. Give my best regards to your lucky boyfriend.😃
you are late here 10 minutes its very rude
you'd never last in latin america
@@decollector95So they are all rude?
@@dutchgamer842 no, you are
@decollector95 Ah so you admit you are
@@dutchgamer842 so is most of the world, apparently!
Lol.. So much overthinking....
After two minutes I've seen enough already. Women talking about how a guy wants her to look 🤮 My God just look the way you want to look