Biggest Culture Shocks of a Slavic Girl in the Netherlands (Alisa Law)

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  • Опубліковано 5 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 68

  • @trkantiteza
    @trkantiteza 7 годин тому +2

    I came across Alisa's reels about a rave festival a while ago and just stumbled upon this video. Nice talk! I can relate to it as a russian who lived in the Netherlands for 4 years (in Alkmaar and Utrecht). I never felt at home there because of the agenda lifestyle, lack of spontaneity, weather and high rent prices. Now I’m watching this video from Tbilisi 🌞
    The biggest shock for me was that people would bring their own food to parties and take it back afterward. Once, a host offered me a slice of pizza, I took half of it - and then had to send him a tikki. At least heineken was free
    Also dated/lived with a dutch guy for 2 years. He was nice and generous, but after we broke up, he took back all the birthday presents he'd given me because they’d cost good money, even though we always shared our budget.
    Dutch directness is a great thing, however there is a difference between being direct and tactless. The latter is just an “abuse” of directness and a negative quality overall.

  • @Stijlloosert
    @Stijlloosert 6 днів тому +12

    As a "Dutch" men, completely felt her experience, most of my close relations: "We can talk about anything, As long as it's nothing"

  • @erikdewagt
    @erikdewagt 5 днів тому +7

    Alisa's accent in English is a mixture between Slavic and Dutch. And she has a very pleasant voice!

  • @mr_movieguru
    @mr_movieguru 3 дні тому +7

    I am a Dutch Indo man. Born in The Netherlands with Indonesian roots.
    I even sometimes have difficulties with the superficial conversations. I love to go to the core but Dutch people are not so open. Opinions are not always taken well by many. Dutch people are direct but they can be rude as well but they don't see it like that. I understand that you didn't feel that home right away. Dutch are not the easiest people. And stampot..no thank you, i rather go for Indonesian food😅. Ooh and i indeed like people to come on time. Haha, coming late is considered rude.

  • @B0K1T0
    @B0K1T0 6 днів тому +17

    8:50 A neighbor complaining about quiet music at 8 in the evening isn't "normal" in my book (and I'm pretty sure not for the average Dutch person). Don't mistake your specific experience with people with the culture of a whole nation. In fact because of the quite individualistic nature of (what's left of) the Dutch culture, individual people can vary wildly in their social standards and behavior.

    • @stormmaster108
      @stormmaster108 3 дні тому

      Well, they just asked to turn it down. Understandable.
      I myself never turn music aloud, only through headphones. I don't think neighbors should be able to hear my leasure. And I would appreciate it if my neighbors were doing the same.

  • @ДарьяПодольская-ю3щ
    @ДарьяПодольская-ю3щ 6 днів тому +11

    The girl Alisa from Ukraine has a very pleasant voice timbre. I just want to listen and listen))

    • @GabberPinda
      @GabberPinda 6 днів тому

      Lekker op repeat klikken jwz.

    • @erikdewagt
      @erikdewagt 5 днів тому

      I really agree. What a very pleasant voice!❤

  • @burgienl
    @burgienl 5 днів тому +7

    Being an hour late signals a lack of interest. That would be a red flag if it were a date.

  • @scarba
    @scarba 3 дні тому +3

    I think wanting deep connections and conversations is a typical introvert need and I think that’s universal thing, not necessarily cultural.

  • @dutchladylover
    @dutchladylover 6 днів тому +9

    Nice interview.
    Alisa really made some good points about Dutch society in general. You can tell she's been observant. 👍🏻
    But I really would like to say: what a bad luck with men! 😱 (Was gonna say taste, but hey, that's why you date people, to put the garbage with the trash)
    Ofcourse it's very much appreciated being on time. But.....Letting a guy know you're gonna be late (I don't know how much but still) and he's just like "nope, not doing that, I'm out"?! And the next day he's complaining about how disrespectful shé was?
    There is a word for those. It starts with an A and ends with hole (you can fill in the blanks yourself, right?)
    And telling a girl she's different then other eastern europeans because her make up isn't perfect and her teeth are crooked is just plain rude. Even in the Netherlands, on a first date criticizing a girl that way is just being rude....period!
    Anyways, enjoyed the conversation. Thanks 😊

  • @elmatador0107
    @elmatador0107 4 дні тому +5

    I keep being amazed by the subject of 'sending a tikkie'... I've lived in the Netherlands my whole life and know quite a few people but I've never sent or received a tikkie from someone that involved a small amount! And I've never heard people in my environment or friends who heard it from other friends😅 I really think that you get to know the most idiotic people in the Netherlands

  • @braziliaan
    @braziliaan 2 дні тому +1

    I was born in Brazil and I live currently in the Netherlands. I have been to some Slavic countries. I actually think that Latin American and Slavic culture somehow look alike. For us it is important how we present ourselves (appearance) and sometimes status. Family is also important. There are positive and negative aspects about it, but it is definitely similar.

  • @mitchelk.3682
    @mitchelk.3682 6 днів тому +4

    I hear her points, I do see a difference between the Randstad (area with most of the big cities) and the rest of the country. You hear that she didn't live in a big city.

    • @skayt35
      @skayt35 День тому

      Yeah she said she came from a "not so big city" yet Bishkek is the capital of Kirgisistan with more than 1 million inhabitants. A foreign farmlands society which has not experienced disruptions is a contrast.

  • @stormmaster108
    @stormmaster108 3 дні тому +1

    40:35 I am glad that you like it.
    Not only what's on the inside is more important (it's quite obvious really), but putting on makeup, pefume or altering the look with artificial enhancements is less natural and, therefore, more off-putting. Being yourself just fresh from the shower is the best way to look.

  • @stormmaster108
    @stormmaster108 3 дні тому +1

    I like what I hear about the Netherlands and the Dutch people here, and Dutch is one of my most favorite languages (2nd place, probably). The country is a little too warm for my taste, but at least it's not too hot in the summer. It's unlikely that I will move to the Netherlands (as Swedish culture fits me much better and Swedish is my most favorite language, which I also speak), but it's one of the top preferred countries on my list.

  • @GabberPinda
    @GabberPinda 6 днів тому +8

    Regel nummer 1 ben op tijd. Zo moeilijk is dat niet toch? Je staat echt voor lul als je half uur op je date zou moeten wachten met je drankje zittend aan een tafeltje. Als je echt iemand leuk vindt dan ben je gewoon optijd 😃 Zie het maar als een Dutch stress test😂

    • @BBRAIN1977
      @BBRAIN1977 4 дні тому +1

      Boeit het toch dat ze of hij te laat is . Als ze er maar is . je weet toch nooit de reden dat iemand later is, tis maar een date

  • @garrardzero1
    @garrardzero1 4 дні тому +1

    We are also organized because throughout the centuries we have to work well together to protect and conquer the land from the sea.

    • @decollector95
      @decollector95 3 дні тому

      hmm, where does that leave philippines, cuba, greece, etc. ?

  • @Sisterlisk
    @Sisterlisk 2 години тому

    There is bragging in every culture, they just find different ways to do it. The term "humble brag" comes to mind.

  • @michavandam
    @michavandam 6 днів тому +5

    What an intelligent, nuanced conversation! It's rare for me to agree with everything that's being said.
    Here are some remarks I'd like to make.
    BEING LATE
    12:41 If you're late in Nederland and you're letting them know, it doesn't make it alright; it just makes it less bad.
    Interesting in this respect is how this reflects in the language: the Nederlanders don't say that they're "late", they either say they are "on time", or "too late" (not meaning too late for meeting at all, but too late to be on time).
    MALE/FEMALE STEREOTYPES
    13:54 Also, the Nederlanders don't pardon you being late because you're a woman, since these stereotypes are less prominent in Nederland. The Nederlanders are very egalitarian.
    20:46 I don't think in Nederland you ever have to "prove yourself as a woman, as a man".
    37:01 In general, status is not important in Nederland.
    41:05 "Be a man in the relationship" Again, these stereotypes don't live in Nederland. They work on people's nerves. Nederlanders don't play parts when it comes to gender.
    1:07:05 They play parts when they have small talk (whereas Russians and Ukranians prefer to have real conversations, even if it's about negative things).

  • @elladubois6603
    @elladubois6603 7 днів тому +8

    I'm Polish female and it feels like there were a bit too many stereotypes about slavic women in general. But probably I'm not a common slavic then because I identify with a lot what was said about Dutch people. I'm not surprised that guys were offended by their date coming late or that Dutch people are annoyed with noises in the evening.

    • @datingbeyondborderscast
      @datingbeyondborderscast  7 днів тому +2

      We mostly talked Ukrainian and Russian culture as Polish love of brands and status is nowhere as pronounced as ours from what I have experienced.

    • @B0K1T0
      @B0K1T0 3 дні тому

      I'm a Dutch male and I'm pretty sure there were just as many stereotypes about Dutch people ;) But then again I'd say the whole point of this video was to share experiences with a certain culture and how those experiences were different from the ones in other cultures. It's hard to avoid taking some sort of averages into account which are inherently stereotypical.
      Of course reality is always a bit different and I personally never understood certain of those Dutch traits and sometimes my expat friends have them stronger than some Dutch friends. Nonetheless I find those (often somewhat stereotypical) cultural differences very interesting and I think they certainly have their value (when not taken as some absolute truth obviously).

  • @rphwww
    @rphwww 2 дні тому

    The city of Groningen’s is well know for it's a youthful and energetic vibe, including the night life! Groningen doesn't has closing hours so you can party as long as you like. It's a young, student city and ranked in the top 5 in Europa as one of the most satisfactory cities to reside in. It has 'the reputation that it's offering a desirable and fulfilling urban living experience'. Your Groningen-experience is not in line with the common experiences of people, including a lot of International students from all over the world.

  • @Tjalie-j6i
    @Tjalie-j6i 4 дні тому +3

    I, as a Dutchman, am shocked that Ukrainians just throw trash on the ground, not in trash-can's here in my country. They also attack black people and Turkish people (immigrants) for no reason at all. That shocks me.

    • @decollector95
      @decollector95 3 дні тому +1

      they have more in common with turks and black people than they know

    • @Tjalie-j6i
      @Tjalie-j6i 3 дні тому +1

      @decollector95 agreed

  • @B0K1T0
    @B0K1T0 6 днів тому +1

    9:23 Hahaha I'm so "non-Dutch" in this regard (and some others). I just embraced (and take part in) all the jokes about me being late all the time as well 🤣 I think this might also in part be a generational difference though. I grew up in the 90s before the age of smartphones where you would just ring your friend's doorbell to see if they wanted to hang around, and my parent's friends and family would randomly drop by all the time as well.
    And the strange thing is my expat friends seem to be the most punctual actually 😆 but this might be completely accidental, or them trying to fit in to what seems to be "Dutch culture", which might be somewhat colored by those punctual types (and loads of youtubers etc.) being more vocal about it.

  • @CatNat1974
    @CatNat1974 5 годин тому

    Hold on, what now?? Someone send you a tikkie for 75 cents?? That's "krenterig". I hope you told that person to go kick rocks 😮😂

  • @tabikova2084
    @tabikova2084 4 дні тому +1

    I’m a huge fan of your comedy reels, Alisa but I just don’t believe that all you can say about Dutch men is that they are great fathers. I’ve been in NL for 3 years, as a Slavic girls and I’ve had soooo many trashy stories with Dutch men. Greedy and superficial!!!

  • @CatNat1974
    @CatNat1974 5 годин тому

    Uhm, the Vaalserberg is a mountain. The bigliest mountain in the world. It's huge. 😂😂😂

  • @joopdesmit
    @joopdesmit 6 днів тому +6

    About your Slavic friends complaining about dates with Dutch guys... Well... I don't know them, obviously. But I did date more than my share of fully uninteresting entitled manipulative young ladies. And yes, I will not be the best version of me then. So if the experiences are consistent, maybe it is not a him problem, but a her problem. As you notice yourself: if you met a Dutchman, you met one Dutchman. We are not some monolithic thing. Just as "Slavic women" are not.

  • @teambellavsteamalice
    @teambellavsteamalice 5 днів тому +1

    A very nice talk!
    Many good observations, but also bad luck / weird guys in there.
    The rude directness can be explained by thinking, "does everyone know this is just what people say to be polite?". If yes, then to a dutch person it will sound extremely fake. If you don't mean it, you might as well skip it, right?
    I could imagine someone saying, "great you don't overdo it with make-up" but saying it's bad is kinda untypical for a dutchy. And the braces even more so, even though it's great it's way too weird and too honest!
    I think there are a lot of subcultures, like people from a big city vs village that have an impact on stereotypical behavior. Also different in the Randstad vs south/east/north.
    But even more by a combination of wealth/education/upbringing (socioeconomic status). You have a huge middle ground, but the extremely low (trash/ordinair) and extremely high (posh/kakkers) are like culture bubbles that are like totally different. Like people bragging about what car they drive or brand of shoes could be found in either of those ends but not the middle!
    I thought (too much) smalltalk was everywhere not typically dutch? I myself am very uncomfortable with smalltalk, and I hate soccer and gossip. I hardly watch any sports and don't follow celebrity "news" so that can be awkward. But then I do talk about nerdy hobbies (with equally nerdy friends) or love movies/series/music so maybe that's smalltalk too?

  • @ypey1
    @ypey1 6 днів тому +4

    Groninguhh

  • @Pertemba40
    @Pertemba40 7 днів тому +2

    You said the word LIKE thousands of times in this video. LOL!!!!

    • @B0K1T0
      @B0K1T0 3 дні тому

      lol just before scrolling to this comment, I read the last segment of the video "The worst of the Dutch directness"

  • @decollector95
    @decollector95 7 днів тому +7

    the virgin northern/western european vs the chad southern/eastern european

    • @thunderwing2124
      @thunderwing2124 6 днів тому +4

      Hahah, the eternally choice. More finincially stable/boring vs exciting/less financially stable

    • @MAGNA_FRISIA
      @MAGNA_FRISIA 4 дні тому

      What nonsense. I didn't know what this comment meant but I looked it up. And as a Dutchman I can tell you that I lost my virginity at sixteen and have a nightlife that also started at about that age. And I was crazy about house parties. And they were there every weekend. And I could go completely crazy. I am not religious but I was raised with Christian norms and values. I attach great importance to my family. I bought a house with a large garden when I was 25. And I completely renovated it in my spare time. And as far as the colonial is concerned, the Dutch did not cause a high mortality rate at all, nor was it policy to settle there, unlike Spain, Portugal and Italy. Who completely appropriated their colonies and treated the original inhabitants as second-degree inhabitants. This is also the reason that from Mexico to Argentina the population speaks their languages ​​and the genes for the vast majority can be traced back to Spain, Italy and Portugal. And you do not see this in Indonesia or Suriname. And not all people not white is from slave history. Its only they self want us to belief. So we feel guilty en pay them for it. the only thing that is a big difference in culture is that women are treated with much more respect and as equals. and maybe that is why we are much happier and much richer. I must admit that the Dutch women and media is a different story. They blame Dutch white men for their history and do not wanne be with a men with this shaming history and is the not Dutchmen what they all going fore and promoted by Dutch media by picking the famous and influencers of the future . With no place for the white bad men who has done so much cruelty to women and dark skined part of world. They must sit alone and think about there behavior .
      That this is happening and beliefs is because they belief all on base of talk and dont invest time to spit in history and how it goes anywhere outside Europe. in reality. That this is not so much evolving in South Europe is most likely because . if you are as small as the southern european man. yes then you have to pretend that you are cool, strong and tough. while we already are because of our height and do not attach any value to this. also it is much less common for us to seduce a woman by lying incredibly about who and what you are. on the other hand it has been noticed so often on holiday that girls were flooded with enormous big BS stories. for example that they did their job in a hotel or bar on the side because their uncle was the owner. but the rest of the year they worked as a surgeon at a children's hospital in a big city inland. above a scooter rental company had a room with only a bed and a wardrobe. but in their hometown they had a villa with a swimming pool and not to mention their car. Yes they were driving an old fiat punto but that was because the Porsche they had was at a garage for repairs for 6 weeks. they had all crashed in an illegal street race. and then this. everyone who likes this is either a southern European themselves or a lady who is not very smart and falls for their talk. if she had a little more general knowledge. she would know what the relationships between northern and southern Europe really are. if not, know one thing. the truth is never solely dependent on persuasiveness. while a lie is completely dependent on that. so go ahead and like.

  • @jeanne8264
    @jeanne8264 6 днів тому

    Could you give me some advises how to meet a guy in the Netherlands, if I currently live in France, I really like this notion of a tall nice Dutch guy :) but unless you live in a country I guess it’s very difficult to meet someone from abroad.

    • @alisalaw5418
      @alisalaw5418 6 днів тому

      The only option here would be adjusting your location on Tinder Premium or travelling to NL.

    • @jeanne8264
      @jeanne8264 6 днів тому

      @ thanks for the advice !

    • @dutchgamer842
      @dutchgamer842 6 годин тому

      ​@@alisalaw5418Also next to English try to learn (Basic) Dutch and spend some weekends and vacations in the Netherlands in several cities. To see how our country can differ in different cities

  • @wietse771
    @wietse771 2 дні тому

    well im dutch and i think dutch people are hating to wait :P

  • @lady-r3i
    @lady-r3i 6 днів тому +2

    Nice interview I like it 🥰

  • @jeanne8264
    @jeanne8264 6 днів тому +2

    I would never see a person again who made me pay for a bus ticket or for a half of a wine bottle when I was invited ! This is very offensive to my perspective. (PS I’m Slavic and even taller and also have problems with my high in my country :) )

  • @ronaldderooij1774
    @ronaldderooij1774 5 днів тому +1

    Alisa, you are a beautiful woman inside and out, I think. I wish I was 30 years younger, haha. Give my best regards to your lucky boyfriend.😃

  • @hennakroon1432
    @hennakroon1432 4 дні тому

    If it don't fit, don't force it. Just find your paradise elsewhere.

  • @BBRAIN1977
    @BBRAIN1977 4 дні тому

    Always curious why would u date ? Most of time it is just waste of time and energy . Or you're scared to be alone when you're older ?

  • @computerjantje
    @computerjantje 4 дні тому +2

    Please do not take individual opinions of people talking about the Netherlands (or worse: just Amsterdam) serious. You have to interview a lot of people to come to a good representative opinion about the Netherlands and there are a lot of videos which do this. This video is not one of them.

    • @garrardzero1
      @garrardzero1 3 дні тому +1

      True but she also clearly indicated that there are exceptions on both sides and that these are her experiences. In general it is true that we Dutch do not show off, arrive on time, are fairly direct etc.

  • @wiebewestra8821
    @wiebewestra8821 19 годин тому

    Calvin and Luther people she is talking about, i know all about it and really hate it for all my life

  •  7 днів тому +2

    I agree on what you pointed out about culture as Turkish, thanks for sharing experience and we really like your instagram account Alisa🎉

  • @yoyoyuyu234476
    @yoyoyuyu234476 5 днів тому +1

    you are late here 10 minutes its very rude

  • @live--now
    @live--now 6 днів тому +1

    Lol.. So much overthinking....

  • @VoornaamAchternaam-kr4vk
    @VoornaamAchternaam-kr4vk 6 днів тому +1

    After two minutes I've seen enough already. Women talking about how a guy wants her to look 🤮 My God just look the way you want to look