How to Have Self-Confidence In the Face of Obstacles
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- Опубліковано 28 чер 2024
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I'm sharing how to build self-confidence in the face of obstacles in today's video.
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🗝️ Time Stamps
0:00 You need the superpower
1:30 Professional rejection
4:38 Personal ridicule
7:01 Pop Culture Expectations
8:33 Know who you are
9:04 Observe from a distance
9:55 Their limited thinking is not your problem
11:06 Babbel sponsor
12:47 Keep calm and remain classy
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⚜️ Jennifer L. Scott is the New York Times bestselling author of LESSONS FROM MADAME CHIC, AT HOME WITH MADAME CHIC, and POLISH YOUR POISE WITH MADAME CHIC (Simon & Schuster) and CONNOISSEUR KIDS (Chronicle Books). On this channel you will see homemaking, capsule wardrobe (ten-item wardrobe), modern etiquette, ladylike and elegant living, and many other tips on how to become your own Madame Chic and Daily Connoisseur. New videos every week.
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I hope you enjoyed today's video. Thank you to Babbel for sponsoring. Start speaking a new language in 3 weeks with Babbel 🎉 Get 60% OFF your subscription during their Black Friday Sale here ➡ go.babbel.com/t?bsc=1200m60-youtube-thedailyconnoisseur-nov-2023&btp=default&UA-cam&Influencer..thedailyconnoisseur..USA..UA-cam I would love to know about your experience with self-confidence. Let us know in the comments below. Have a wonderful day. Love, Jennifer
Just invested in Babbel using your link. I need to refresh my memory of French - I lived in France for my junior year of high school et j'ai besoin de pratiquer le français! Thank you for sharing your experiences about self-confidence - they are great reminders!
Years ago i stopped following trends. I love having my own style and not looking like a copy and paste of everyone else. I think you said in a past video that being classy is timeless. I agree💗
Jennifer reminds us of Audrey Hepburn 💞
Hi Jennifer, I personally think this is one of the best videos you have ever made. It really touched my heart.I usually don’t allow my daughter to watch you tube but I think I’m going to make her watch this video. And the reason is that she is 9 and she was bullied at school and she is beautiful, worthy little girl so hearing this words from an author of her favorite book would be helpful. Thank you
I hope she finds the video helpful!
& you're a lovely Mom 4 extoling it
Jennifer, such a great video. I also people watch and when I see people all running towards something, I stand back and watch. I don’t jump in and see how it all works out. I’m so grateful to be grounded in Christ. If you ask me who I am, first, I am a child of God.
I would answer the same thing! Thanks for writing it!
Thank you so much for this video, Jennifer. Speaking for myself, I can always use a reminder that other people's opinions don't need to dictate my actions.
Yes! Their limited thinking is not your problem.
My dad always said "Consider the source ..."
I love that!
Thank you so much for making this inspiring video, Jennifer!! I'm a 22-year-old Master's degree student studying violin performance, and this is something I have struggled with my whole life, both personally and professionally. This is such good advice that all my fellow students should listen to! 1) Know yourself 2) Observe the situation from an objective distance 3) Don't let other people's limited perceptions define you. Next time my mind travels to the "dark side," I will remember and try to heed your advice. 🙂
Wonderful! Thank you!
💞🙋
I need this right now! I’m starting back to work this week in a professional role I haven’t been in for almost a decade. Thank you, Jennifer. I’m so glad you kept going! You are the best. ❤🎉
Thank you! You are the best too!
Best wishes on your returning role! Julie 🌷
@@juliecarns Thank you! I’ve been raising twins for the past 6 years, so it’s exciting to go back to parttime work now that they are in kindergarten. Wishing you all the best this fall! 🍂🍁
Sincerely, I did this in 2010. I got tapped by a predator industry & ended up that had I published my journals instead I'd have thrived. I respect your effort. Please take good care of YOU. (THEY WONT)
This is such good advice! Your children are so lucky to have a mom who values herself and is confident in who she is and wants for her future! You Rock Jennifer ❤Class is always shining a light on you!
Thank you! ✨
Hi Jennifer🤗I want to recommend book to you. It’s on UA-cam and it’s called The Courage to be Disliked, and the follow up book The Courage to be Happy❤ enjoy. All the best, Tone
What an insightful and uplifting video. Thank you ❤
Thank you!
We sure do become wiser with experience, dont we, Jennifer? Oh, the energy, money, and time Ive wasted trying to be anyone but who God made me to be. Im definitely improving at staying true to myself. As trends come & go, and come & go, I have a much better grip on what Truth is.♥️🇨🇦
Thank you for the encouragement to those of us who haven't quite "made it" in our professional goals. That's me! Still working on it. I have a doula business which keeps a nice secondary income for our family, but I definitely see the potential to expand it. But simultaneously SO HAPPY with the life I have. I love my role as a stay at home mom, with my side hustle. I know there are people from my younger years who must think I haven't "succeeded" as I am not currently in the career I went to University for. When I find myself thinking about it or feeling bad about it, I ask myself, "Do I actually WANT that career?" The answer is no, not anymore. That is why I quit in the first place! So why would I be trying to impress people with a lifestyle choice that DOESN'T make me happy, when the alternative is to live a life I LOVE with the POTENTIAL of some people I haven't talked to in 10 years MAYBE occasionally thinking, "wow, she isn't doing what she went to University for!"? Okay. Haha! I'll take the life I love any day.
Yes, impressing other people needs to go out the window! I'm happy for you!
Beautifully spoken. 🙋
Her opinion is not my reality. Love this, thank you 💋
I'm a teacher and had a really mean parent tell me last week that I was a bad teacher (with lots of adjectives!) I was so hurt because I know it's not true. Your video is exactly what I needed to hear. I know myself, I am a great teacher. That mom's opinion truly doesn't matter, she can exit stage left. 💫
Such a great video! I always had an inferior complex, I took people’s comments so personally. Even today comments from long ago affect me. I wish I could have seen this when I was much younger. I guess we can always use a boost in confidence.
Thank you for always recognizing what we need to know!❤
I'm rooting for you!
I think having to deal with adversity from other humans is just part of the human condition. I am a redhead with blue eyes and freckles. I got teased a lot in school. I also consider myself a highly sensitive person. The experiences of being picked on made me stronger. At my 20th high school class reunion, the girls that picked on me actually came up to me and apologized for their bad behavior. One of the girls said that they were always intimidated by me because I seemed unfazed by the things they said. She also said that I would always just observe them from a distance, and so they thought that I was very wise. That certainly was an amazing night for me! You are absolutely right, Jennifer, we need to not care what others think.
My heart cry is for all people feel good/great or at least comfortable in their own skin. Grow yes...but be knowledgeable in who you are.
I love your common sense approach to dealing with criticism. A great confidence booster - thank you Jennifer!
Good advice…and of course our intrinsic worth in God’s eyes. His voice is bigger than everyone when it comes to our identity 😊
This is great advise and can also be applies to those whose siblings treat them poorly. Ignore them and live a wonderful, full life.
I was bullied relentlessly and I let them get to me. It is no joke. You are such an inspiration. I always love your gentle encouragement. My boys were homeschooled but had some covert bullying, like being left out, rumors started about them, etc. I used a video game analogy with them. I know, deep. LOL! When you're on the boss level you can either give up or level up.
Wonderful perspective & advice! Fun fact- I saw & read your book first & actually ordered “Parisian Chic” because I so enjoyed “Lessons from Madame Chic!” 😂❤️
Ha! I love that!
Same here!
Hope you can make more videos about this subject and direct it to young ones. We all suffer a lot when we haven’t develop emotionally ❤
Thank you Jennifer for making this video. You create such wonderful content ❤ You are living out the instructions of Titus 3 and do it so elegantly. Thank for being the sister I needed. So grateful to have found your channel. You have come along side me in my glow up journey from inside out. Again so grateful and this is one of my favorite videos of yours. Sending big hugs! Prends soin de toi. :)
I have been watching your channel for the last year.(Michelle) This is the first time I have commented. I look forward to your videos each week SO much! Your calm way of speaking, your encouragement, and your advice is often exactly what I need to hear. This video did not disappoint!. Thank you for the reminder about being confident in who we are. Lastly, I wanted to say, I am so sorry for the loss of your Father, and have kept you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Side note Jennifer- your skin looks insane! Absolutely flawless and glowy.
Jennifer, I needed this so much today as this has been a stressful time with piano recital season and the holidays coming up. I've been second guessing myself, but your commentary on self-confidence was EXACTLY what I needed! Thank you so much!
By the way, I had a situation yesterday that was a little uncomfortable. In short, it was a situation where I could either get bent out of shape or just let it go. (The uncomfortable part was that it was in a public setting.) But, I remembered the video where you said "none of these things move me." So I just kept telling myself that. (It definitely made the situation bearable.) All that to say, your videos are so important! You are doing a wonderful job with your channel; and the message you give on your platform is so very much needed.
I'm so glad that helped you. ♥
Hello Jennifer,
Thank you for this wonderful video. You and Jamila Musayeva have really influenced me in terms of ettiquete, self confidence and self development. It would be incredible to hear an interview of you both speaking on etiquette in the trendy casual era we are in.
Yes! Jamila is lovely. Thank you!
The idea of not letting others limited thinking stop you from knowing something can happen can also be applied to oneself! I think a lot of us doubt ourselves, we convince ourselves that we can't do something but in fact we can! We are victims of not just others but our own limited thinking.
Jennifer your videos are all so rich with professionalism and style. I love when your new videos pop up 🥰 it would sure be nice to drop that photo of your books in that lady's in box! Wondering if you have videos on a particular subject.. when someone says "we should get together" or "you should come over", or "I should get your number".. when you don't want to really see this person. How do you decline in a classy way?
What’s the middle between not caring but also still growing?
You’re such a good person Jennifer, I enjoy listening to you!!❤
Thank you! ♥
That is mature reasoning and am glad you understood it so early 🦋
Oh....I can relate to your bullying boy in school...I was also thin...actually too skinny because I had a super fast metabolism...grateful for it now as it helps me to keep my weight under control in my 50's. But nonetheless, extremely painful at the time. This particular boy called me "zipper" and his friends would join in. I wish that I'd had your mindset back then, but I didn't and it was a really difficult time in my life. I have definitely tried to help my young adult daughters have far more self-confidence than I had in my youth. Great video with excellent advice!
Yes, that period of my life was challenging!
Same. I was very thin and this little jerk tormented me every day for having skinny legs. I'd be interested to see how this creep turned out. He made me miserable.
Thank you Jennifer for this timely reminder. I knew these things in the past, but I realize that over time, I've let them slip; I can tell because of the way I think about myself. Thank you for reminding me that it's okay to be me even if I've experienced rejection. And, thank you for being you, Jennifer. Your example is an inspiration and blessing to so many of us❤
Hi Jennifer. I enjoy watching your videos. They are an inspiration. I wanted to let you know that I could barely hear you this time. Thanks again.
Such a lovely video! I love your bedroom, the decor and you look stunning.❤
I would love to see a home tour and also a video on how to raise grounded children in today's society.
Sending lots of ❤❤❤ from England.
Yes I would love to see a home tour too
Loved this video! I'm in my 40s and have to remind myself to "run my race". Don't worry about other people and their comments. Run your race!
Yes! Absolutely. Much love, friend.
I love this Jennifer! Especially the part about accepting, ignoring and not trying to convince anyone otherwise!
Thisis so needed, thank you for sharing this today.
Yes! Know who you are! The best lesson of all. Thank you very much Jennifer for a very insightful video!❤️🌹
Well said!
"What you can picture in your head is really valuable...if you can picture it, it can happen." Such good encouragement. Thank you for another wonderful video.
#THIS
Jennifer, you are a gem. ❤
Thank you! ♥
Wow, I think you’ve found your niche.. this is helpful to so many people being bullied etc…beautiful 🌻
You're beautiful on the inside and out. We love you❤
Thank you. Very good points 🙏 well done for not listening to that woman who couldn’t see your vision. Also I love your room behind you. It looks so interesting and elegant.
Ooooh Jennifer...AMEN, SISTER!!! Hahah!!! You are SUCH a blessing!!! Thank you!!! WIth love, Kellie
Haha. Thank you, Kellie!
I think you are so beautiful and I love your videos. You have such a kind way of teaching us women how to be kind and soft spoken which I struggle with those who are not kind. Thank you for all your helpful information.🙏
Thanks so much for this video! I love the specific examples, guidelines, tips, mindsets that you talked about. I really need this for navigating the holidays peacefully this year. ;)
I have always dressed differently from others, and never with the trend. I am who I am.
I could not help but laugh when you mentioned "super power". Love this video, Jennifer. It is imperative to not allow others to define me. Thank you so much for always taking the time to share these nuggets of wisdom. I am grateful for your channel.
Love this message!
Thank you so much for this!❤ I love your outlook and advice🙏
Hi Jennifer! What you share today is invaluable! Yes, knowing oneself and staying true to one’s values is indeed a superpower! But it’s a superpower few people have, sadly. I admire you for having had that strong sense of self from a young age, for having chosen to stay true to yourself, wisely sidestepping obstacles instead of fighting them, and quietly pursuing your own goals! Look at what you have accomplished this way! 🤩
I was fighting tears as I was listening to you, because that strong self-confidence has been eluding me most of my life. Fortunately, there were a few important moments in my life where I made decisions that were against the will of the people closest to me, but I persisted nonetheless on the path I had chosen, and to this day, I’m grateful that I did! Self-confidence stems from a deep knowledge of oneself, like you beautifully explained, and also from an unwavering love of oneself. Not a love that makes us selfish people, but a welcoming and compassionate love for oneself. That is something I’m still struggling with, even at 67! But I’m working on it, and an inspiring video like yours, today, is a tremendous encouragement to go on! Thank you! ❤❤
Thank you, more videos like this one please xxxx so helpful
Thank you!
Thanksgiving is almost here and I love entertaining. I'm the black sheep of the family in a very dysfunctional family system. We moved to a new area a year and a half ago, but I haven't found our neighbors very friendly--I'm sure it's nothing personal. Most people are busy with their own lives. My best friend who I see only a few times a year due to distace said I'm just "too nice." I tend to have good friends at work, but I wish I knew some ladies like Jennifer or the ones who belong to this community as I think my values may be better aligned within this group of women. Sometimes I wish we could meet somehow. Many thanks to you, Jennifer for such an encouraging talk.
Beautiful video, I loved that podcast episode, too! I always refer to my resilience as buoyancy.
Great video, as always! Thank you! You are such a blessing! 😁🙏
This is a great video! Powerful. Thank you, Jennifer
Thank you Jennifer.
Se well said! Absolutely loved this video ❤
Thank you, Lauren! ♥
This was a lovely video. You have such a great sense of self. You know who you are and what you want. I have not always been clear on this for myself. It is hard sometimes to not get distracted by the outside world and the expectations and demands others put on us. Thanks for this video. It is very encouraging!
This is great keep sharing!
What a poignant story of the two books side by side! I tend to presume rejection and then not even try but this tells me there are so many outcomes I can’t even imagine! One thing about your career that’s always encouraged me is that you didn’t know exactly how it would turn out with writing and UA-cam, you couldn’t plan it all in advance of doing the work, but you kept going and it just keeps getting better!
Yes. Thank you!
There was a boy in middle school who was considered a ‘cool kid’ and I was a chorus geek so he would constantly pick on me and my appearance. It was humiliating because I had a small crush on him, as did many girls, and the other girls found it hilarious when he would put me down.
Come to find out, he always had a thing for me but never told anyone or wanted anyone to know.
Boys are funny.
Great advice!!! Thank you!!
I absolutely loved this video; filled with so many powerful lessons. thank you!
Jennifer, the content in this video is so important, thank you for sharing. 🤗
Excellent advice! You are such a wise young woman! ♥️
This video is something I will revisit from time to time! So amazing and helpful! ❤️🙌
I love this so much - thank you. Jennifer, I have been following you for a while and you are a wonderful role model for women. I really enjoy your content!
Thank you so much for this video 🙏💜
Such great advice! "Other people's opinion is not your reality." I too was super skinny in Jr. High, and High School. Guys always made comments about my small chest, to my face. Terrible! I never had breast implants, but it was a worry that plagued me for years.
What a great video. Middle school crippled my self esteem for the reason you describe, yet I wasn’t able to ignore it or let roll off my back. It affected me into my mid 30’s. This tells me how important it is that we, the family, arm very young girls with self esteem so they are prepared.
I’ve been listening to Iain McGilchrist lately, and your description of the different ways of handling the rejection was a perfect picture of one of the right brain/left brain differences. Wanting to convince others you’re right is a left-brain-dominant thing! So, way to go on using your right brain! 😄 …which isn’t surprising since the right brain is the one strengthened by the arts and poetry, nature, etc. 🥰 Our culture needs more of that.
I love that. Yes!
Excellent video, Jennifer. So many good points-all of which I needed to hear. Thank you!
I loved your advice in this video ❤
This is a great video. 👍 definitely a relisten
Thank you for making and sharing this video with us Jennifer!! I so needed this message and advice today. I’ve been a subscriber of your for many years now and I can always count on your content to uplift me❤️
Thank you so much! ♥
Jennifer, Thank you for your thoughts on self confidence and also for the wonderful Success School interview. Sent both onto a friend after being infused by your tenacious spirit. I appreciate all that you share with our world. Constance
You are just wonderful as you are Jennifer😊
What a lovely video and message. Thank you.❤
Wonderful advice, Jennifer. Thank you❤
Thank you so much for sharing this. I have many creative interests, but one thing that tends to hold me back from sharing is the idea that “other people do it better than me”. But your words ring true and encourage me that there is room for me, too, at the table. I enjoy the nuances of a variety of perspectives on the same thing, like you mentioned your book along side Inez’s book. Someone like me would love reading both, and savor the uniqueness of each. (Speaking of, I’ve read a bunch of French-inspired books, and I’ve enjoyed them all!) But it’s difficult for me to apply that same principle to myself. Thank you for the encouragement. ❤
Yes, there is room for all! Absolutely.
thank you
I enjoyed this video so much.I must say that growing with two highly critical although loving parents made me unsure of who I am.I admire you for finding it so early."Find who you are and do it in purpose" That phrase by Dolly Parton is my personal mantra❤❤
What a blessing this video is
Wow, I am a senior citizen and still felt I wanted approval of my sister. I got new eye glasses and she never said she liked them. I internalized and went back and bought another style, way more money. I am sad that I did that. Most likely she just had an off day and did not compliment me on my glasses.
Such a wonderful video and one that I needed to see as I'm starting out on my own creative endeavours. I also have a slender build (more so in high school) and people would comment about my lack of bust. It actually never bothered me as I loved my body! My mom is very well endowed in the breast area (not sure what happened to my sister and I 😅) and I would see how it would cause problems with bras and her back etc. so I was grateful for my small size.
This is why ❤ you & are loyal fans🎉🎉🎉
Hello! I feel like i have a strong sense of self (maybe a little delusional idk lol) and also have ideas of what i want to do. For various reasons, i lack action and even sometimes motivation. This week was particularly hard--as i had multiple family members comment direct and indirectly on me.
Jennifer, This goes for job seeking also. Please people when searching for a position don't take rejection personally. My husband went to a professional placement service. And they told him to put out 100 resumes. He did and went on one interview and got hired.
I just had to comment on this! In 8th grade I had a boy do the SAME thing to me about my chest size. And being self conscious I started wearing lined bras. He took it even further then and he would follow me around and drop Kleenex behind me and tease that I stuffed my bra. But let me tell you, I did not let it bother me further. And after a few years I learned it didn't matter my size there were plenty of people who didn't care about my chest size and liked me for me. I also think this us when we grew my tough shell. I really don't care what people of me anymore. I just try to live my life and ve happy!
I think it's a very common phenomena with certain 8th grade boys. Oh dear!
On the subject of style and trends and our female body. One of the things I absolutely love about pre 1920 style, is that women had the body that they had, and they strategically and specifically utilized paddings and structure under and inside their clothing! How genius is that!? Need voluptuous hips? Strap on this padding, want a thinner waist? Let's use the stitching and fabric cut and lines to create an optical illusion.
And for those that might say " that's false advertising" .... My dear, everything can be called "false advertising" do you color your grays or lighten your hair? Bleach your teeth? Braces? Spanks? Extensions?
The sad thing is, that boy from your school days probably doesn't even think of the teasing. It's sad because many people don't move ahead/beyond teasing, and it can affect them years after. But for the person who inflicted the pain, it's so often easy and inconsequential to them. I think we need to remember that words and actions can't be unsaid or undone, but the impact may last longer than you even remember a person.
DEAR JENNY,
I HOPE YOUR CLASSMATE BOY WATCHES THIS VIDEO SOMEDAY AND SEES HOW THE THEN GIRL TURNED INTO A WISE ELEGANT WOMAN TODAY 👩 HE WOULD BE SO ASHAMED OF HIMSELF 😅
AND YES, GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR FRENCH LEARNING. I'M ACTUALLY BILINGUAL AND I READ/SPEAK BOTH ❤
❤❤❤
🙏