Thanks for watching! Feel free to subscribe to the channel for more videos about living a simpler, happier and calmer life. I’d love for you to be a part of the community. 😊 Also, a very special thank you to my patrons for their support. If you’d like to get more videos from me, and help me to continue making them, feel free to join here: patreon.com/simplehappyzen
I love that you said it as "practice makes better" instead of "perfect", because that strive for perfectionism is one of the biggest factors in my lifelong struggle with low self-esteem. Thank you for your insights and kindness in this video! 😊
Vera, this is honestly one of my favorite videos of yours. I've watched it three times already... so much of what you say resonates for me. I've struggled with self confidence so much and can relate to a lot of the specific insecurities you mentioned. I haven't had the kind of stable, loving, long term relationship you have, but I loved you sharing about yours and it inspires me to think about that kind of reciprocal "building each other up" as one of the things I want, and will cherish, in a relationship in the future. Thank you!
Thanks so much for your kind comment Dominica, so happy this video resonated with you :) I hope you'll continue to get more and more confident from now on :)
I loved this! Especially the bit about doing something clumsy and being laughed at. I always used to think the laughing was because of ME as a person, but I have learned over many years that it's simply because of something funny I had done. Us HSPs are our own worst enemy sometimes! Thank you for reminding me of this, Vera! Sending love to you ❤
What a beautiful and insightful video. Thank you for opening up to us. I can relate and remember when I was insecure about my appearance when I was a lot younger and just thinking that others were cooler or had more fun. Confidence comes with maturity and self-love. Now my confidence has to do with appreciating that others are different. It's not important to me anymore that others share my values or opinions.
This is such a beautiful video, it really resonated with me, I grew up with a lot of insecurities and now that I am 39 I finally feel confident about myself and who I am, than you for making this self loving and beautiful content ❤ I hope this message gets to lots of people who need to know how valuable they are
This radiates such abundant mom energy- I love it!! This is the simplest most genuine sharing that I needed long ago, although it is still so comforting & helpful to hear this at 21 now! I was treated differently from other girls my age growing up for various reasons which greatly impacts my current openness to new trusting relationships currently. This is exactly what I needed to hear as I am very scared to open up to new possible friendships as a college student. This video actually feels like someone holding my hand through the process of being confident enough to do so & I just want to say thank you so so much for sharing your experience. I feel an organic personability from your video style & I am sure it is helping others as well. Your work impacts other people more than what you might see online, and I want to share that your contributions are so radically nuturing to me as well. Your hard work does not go unnoticed & I will show this channel to my younger sister, as I am sure she needs kind words like yours too. You & the obvious effort & care you put into your creative projects are appreciated!! I hope to join patreon soon & that your day is as lovely as you are (^ v ^* )/
I love your morning and evening meditations. And thank you for this one. It’s so true about comparing ourselves on social media. It can really get me down at times. Comparison can really suck the joy out of us. Great video
I think you are gorgeous and i love the way you present yourself. You are an inspiration! Thank you for making your videos. You are my new favorite youtube channel. God bless!
From what I saw from your pictures, I thought you were such a cutie. Not to detract you from your life journey...But With that, You go, Girl!!!! Tackle your own life as best as you can. You are beautiful ❤️
OMG! Why? The first time I saw you I thought “this girl is so beautiful, skin.. , hair, voice, good talker, nature lover, brilliant youtuber…” Usually we are our worst friends.. we’d never say these kind of bad things to another person.. Happy to listen your evolution. I haven’t got IG,etc either. Well done! P.S: sorry about my English Hug from 🇪🇸
Thank you so much for your sweet comment!! :) I'm happy to say I've become a confident adult now haha. But yes, we can definitely be our own worst critic. Have a lovely day!
Funny, being nearly flat chested and pale are also some of the reasons why I was insecure - and even if I’m a confident adult now, being pale is one of the things that still gets sometimes during the summer months. 😅 The main things that changed me and allowed me to be confident are: - using comparison in a positive manner and trying to learn from the people I admired - stop worrying so much about what people thought of me; I was quiet because I was afraid people might not like what I have to say - which is a lot of things 😂😂 - then I realised being quiet and invisible and blending in was not making me happy. So I let my fears go and showed everyone how chatty I was and turns out people did like me, that helped my self esteem as I realised being liked as a person had nothing to do with my skin colour or my lack of boobs 😂😂 - stop taking myself so seriously - turns out that once I started laughing at myself for being clumsy or for saying something stupid, what I thought was people mocking me was actually people trying to laugh with me, not at me. Hope you have a lovely weekend. 💐
Absolutely loved reading your comment Alexandra, thanks for sharing :) Put a big smile on my face. So happy you allowed yourself to be chatty and to let go of your fears!
I'm also very pale and pretty flat on top haha. What helped me accept my super white skin is to try to view it as me taking care of my health. Remaining pale throughout the summer means I do a good job protecting myself from UV light which could give me skin cancer in the long run and that is more important to me than how I look.
This is a very important video! I'm 53, and I'm still learning self confidence. You made such excellent points throughout this video, and I believe you make a difference in the world, even beyond your subscribers! Love from 🇨🇦
I loved this video Vera, I loved the concept of “internal & external locus of identity”, when I was younger my family which was large (11 siblings), although it was a lot of fun to have all of them meant that we didn’t have much materially, so no cool clothes, hand me downs, and I felt really invisible, like there wasn’t anything special about me. I felt very different from other kids. I remember saying when I was 12 that I wanted to join the “Red Cross” to go help all the children who were hungry, sick or orphaned. I had a very hard time seeing the effects of war & prejudice. I tried to change who I was and take on the “I’ll just worry about myself attitude” but that never worked! I couldn’t shut the feelings off! It wasn’t until my 30’s really that I embraced who I really was and I now think that yes I am a caring, conscientious & loving person and I’m really cool with that. I can’t imagine being any other way now. We truly find more happiness in life when we stop trying to be something or someone that we’re not. Thank you for sharing on this topic! 🌷
A beautiful message from a beautiful person. Thank you 🙏🏻 I just turned 50 and still struggling with this topic from time to time. In the past I went quite far in this. I tried to turn into anything that I thought others expected from me. This way I attracted the wrong people and ended up marrying a Narcissistic man. I’ll spare you the details. It’s when I found myself back, (cause I totally lost myself) my life turned around a 180 degrees. 🌸🌸🌸
Thank you Vera ! I would say to anyone JUST BE YOU!! don't try to fit in and be liked EVERYONE IS UNIQUE!! . Don't care about what people say, do, think, have etc. And skip toxic "friends" / situations/ lifestyle, its so not worth it🌷you will see🙂
The trouble that I'm encountering is that although I've learnt so much about being an HSP, and although I feel worthy, the moment I enter into conversations with people who are much more outgoing than me, I feel like the odd one out. I feel awkward and like I don't want to be there (it can be SO loud to be in a group, it's hard to concentrate!). It's hard, because I do need to network, visit conferences and such for my work, but it always feels like a confrontation. Like I thought I had accepted myself, but then when confronted with people who socialize so 'effortlessly', I feel out of sorts again. Like I'm missing some vital skills. It's comparison, I know, but I suppose it goes a lot deeper than I had anticipated... and I'm trying to work on that!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Amber. :) I can understand that feeling of being a fish out of water in situations like that :) Perhaps it can help to remember that you are your own person, and you have your own unique talents. They might be different from socializing effortlessly, but no less important or valuable :)
@@SimpleHappyZen thank you! I agree 💛 it’s hard when those socializing qualities are very much appreciated in your job. As a researcher, my HSP qualities definitely help me too though ☺️
I've only started the video, but I was that girl, for all of the same reasons you mentioned. At 51, I still struggle with self confidence. My 31-year-old son prefers brunettes, but when he saw me watching one of your videos a year or two ago, he told me you were a very attractive woman, and one of the prettiest blondes he has ever seen. He has autism, and is a big gamer, and when I told him you play video games, he thought that was the coolest thing ever.
Aw that is so sweet! Thank you for leaving this comment Tanya 🤗💕🌺 Sending you a big hug and hoping your confidence will boost as well :) You deserve it and remember that practice makes better :)
So sad that someone as beautiful as you inside and out did not always feel that way. Unfortunately I see this in a lot people, especially women. I remember working with a man who I though was so handsome when I first met him. Over time, I got to see that he was unkind and condescending. Suddenly, I began to notice that his nose was big and his hands were strange. If you are not beautiful on the inside, it eventually shows through. Great video Vera and thanks for sharing this.
Thank you so much for your kind comment Sandra!! :) I can relate to what you said. Especially as women, we can be very hard on ourselves I think. Also, yes! I find people who have a great personality much more attractive as well. If someone is conventionally attractive, but I don't like their personality, I never feel anything for their looks either.
Vera I also had low selfesteem when I was young. I always struggled with weight all my life. I got picked on at school. But now at 72 next month I love myself and I'm growing old naturally. No makeup and no coloring my hair. I have embraced my gray hair. Vera you are a lovely and beautiful young woman. ❤
This video really spoke to me, so thank you for speaking up on this topic! I feel like some of what you shared about yourself are things that I can relate to. I was bullied in 4th grade, and even though the girls who put me through that eventually ended up becoming friends with me, I still had my own insecurities about my appearance which didn't manifest until later in middle school. I could share a whole lot more of my own thoughts and experiences on this topic, but to keep things relatively short here, one thing I'll say is that I'm mostly looking forward to turning 30 this year (my birthday is in August). Being 29 currently has its ups and downs; in some ways, it's re-teaching me certain things that need to stop happening in my life. I appreciate your content so much, Vera, as well as your calming presence in all of your videos. 😊❤️
Thank you so much Amy for sharing your thoughts. I'm so sorry to hear you were bullied. Honestly, I don't get why kids can be so mean sometimes. I do believe they're not fully aware of the long-term damage it can cause. I still remember a few single comments people said to me like 25 years ago, even though they probably thought nothing of it. I think it's amazing you were able to become friendly with the same girls who put you through that, very strong of you :) Also, so excited for you that your 30th birthday is coming up!!
thank you for this video, Vera. At 54 I still struggle with self confidence from time to time. like right now. mostly with my skills.I am a dog groomer. I so enjoy what I do but will find flaws in my finished work or get stressed by running out of time and comparing my work to videos of other groomers. My current boss is really nice and does encourage me and points out my strength and love for the pets that come into our salon. I take things way to seriously and will make it a point to stop and smell the roses ( and maybe add a little doggy dance) this week and work on becoming better, not perfect. Thanks for that statement.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts Claudia! Being surrounded by pets all day sounds like so much fun 😍 Happy to hear your boss is encouraging (not all of them are, haha) and that you're working on finding more confidence and stopping to smell the roses :)
Very good advice! We all could use a little pep talk once in awhile. Building confidence for me is something that really comes with maturity. It happened as I really got older. Thanks for the video. 🌻❤
Thanks Madelyn!! I agree, getting older and just generally having more life experience really helped a lot :) Small 'problems' seem a lot bigger when you're very young
I absolutely love this, Vera! 💖 I, too, used to be insecure about my pale skin because kids made fun of me for it but now I feel like it’s beautiful and I own it! Also, in some countries, pale skin is considered very attractive.
Exactly! :) Still don't really get why so many people feel the need to comment on it. Every summer I still get people saying: Oh, you need to go in the sun, you're too pale! Like why 😂 But luckily, it doesn't bother me anymore now. We're beautiful in our own way! And like you said, so much of beauty standards are culturally different as well.
I have been slowly growing in confidence for about 15 years. I get frustrated with myself that this is still a problem for me. Today I made a decision at work to do something I felt was the right procedure without waiting to ask someone else. I feel like I am always afraid of not doing things good enough or that someone will get mad at me. I was wrongly accused of bad intentions in the past and I think that really scarred me and still effects me today. I will keep taking steps to believe in myself and risk rejection, but it is hard.
I find myself drawn to people who I feel have a radiant light coming from the inside. That’s how I first landed on your videos. This is a great message and confirms the light you exude.
☮️🌷🥳 Very well done Vera. The highlight for me is change when growing up and maturing. This is the stage when we should realize what is really important. We only need to look and be concerned about what is happening around us in the world. I believe as we grow older we need to listen to our inner voice, which guides us to do what we are here for. It was a pleasure as always!
Sadly, particularly for women images and social media do promote a certain way that you are supposed to look. In truth everyone is special and unique. I hope you do not mind me saying I think you are a beautiful woman, however that is both on the outside and inside. Your honest advice and guidance for a slow and better life can only come from someone that is truly beautiful.
Hey just a heads up you may want to move the text up on your thumbnail. On my feed the time stamp is in the way and all I could read was “no longer inse”. I clicked anyway though 😉
Hi Emily, thanks so much for letting me know! :D I tested it but I think it might be different on different devices... Thanks for clicking anyway haha, hope you enjoyed the video!
Great topic! You did a wonderful job of covering so many points. I especially liked that you pointed out that people may seem to be very confident, but they also have their own insecurities. I am an introvert and have never liked being the center of attention, but I had a job where I was often giving presentations. I learned to project confidence while speaking. It was a skill something I worked at, not what I felt.
I think you can be an insecure person while still being very confident in your area of expertise. At least I have experienced this in my life and I found it fascinating. You can be insecure at a party or social gathering but you can be badass and the most confident person in a conference room covering a topic you know inside out. We’re multilayered and complex beings, and learn more about ourselves everyday when we step out of our comfort zone.
I'm older and still not confident (internally). As a tall, flat chested woman I always get the most toxic people attracted to me. It's a vicious cycle I can't wait to break. I really do prefer my chest as I am super athletic and don't need the boob wobble.
I find your messages emotionally intelligent and very beautiful.....I wonder if the bullies now have one hundred and sixty nine thousand followers that love them.
I agree that positive self talk is the biggest key. Whenever I get into the negative self talk cycle, I feel insecure and don’t want to go out of the house even! Working in making positive self talk my motto.
Another great video Vera, thank you. Honesty is the best gift a person could give to this world. So many of young people need to know that they might not look their best untill their late 20s :) 🙋
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. I always had to remind myself that because it's funny that when I see you or anyone that looks like you, I've always thought that's the most beautiful person I've ever seen yet someone like you could turn around and think that about me. Knowledge is power and knowing that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder is key to understanding how people feel about themselves.
43! I srsly thought you were in your 20s and even said to myself, “she’s so wise in her young years.” You look great! Thank you for your thoughtful and helpful content.❤
Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. You are beautiful in and out and I admire your strength, your outlook on life, your passion for all simple and beautiful things of the world we live in. You are enough! We are enough! A thousand times Thank YOU!!!
My mum once told me that she's a bit jealous of people who 'always seem to get things right the first time'. I don't think real success is about doing things right: it's about the capacity to self-reflect and make things better. My mum is one of the few people I know who only gets better and better with age. She's matured so much since her 30s. I think that's a real achievement.
For me personally it helped to study and move out on my own 40 miles away. That was not a decision I made in a second or to escape! But a well thought out plan that I also had been talked about with my parents, so they understood my ideas and why. That's how I could make a fresh start, build confidence , well away from expectations and past ( did not enjoy school very much at all before this switch) and find my own ritm in life. Best choise ever😅 and my parents agreed and were surprised and very proud to see that it went great. 🙂 So was I 😊 to aid others.
What’s crazy is my eyes been twitching for two weeks now and it twitched RIGHT when you said your eye twitched. At the same time! Wow lol what are the odds. Love this video btw💞
Now we realise pale skin is skin like porcelain💜 if anyone is small chested feel cute and pretty😋 we are all different .. thank you for sharing Vera you are sooo inspiring beautiful wise 😊💜🤎💜
Would you do a video recommending tv shows or movies to watch or books to read for fun, that being said i really appreciated and needed this video. Thank you for being on UA-cam. You’ve changed my daily life in little ways that now seem huge
Aw that's so sweet, thank you so much Bea!!! So happy to hear you're enjoying my content 🤗🌷💖 Also, thank you for your recommendation, I might do that sometime!
I love the photography you share with us in your videos. Since childhood I have always found that ducks are so much fun to watch. When they swim around and all of the the ducklings follow their mother is so kool. But when the ducks 🦆 dunk their heads down in the water and their butts pop up --this just cracks me up and makes laugh every time. It always reminds me that when one thing goes down other things may pop up somewhere else and visa versa.
I struggled with those issues for a long time too. Now? I don't care anymore. People either like me or they don't. I don't care. The ones that do like me, I want to have around. Those who don't, they don't need to be part of my life. Life is too short. I think you're great the way you are. That's why I enjoy seeing your videos as you put them up.
You're very cute and nice thank you so much for this video and all the thought and care and good energy you put into it, feels very nice to receive and absorb your wisdom x
i’ve been going back through some of your videos that i haven’t seen before, and this one really spoke to me. i’ve been dealing with my own share of insecurities lately, and little by little i have been finding new ways to address them. this video made me feel better :)
11:04 reminds me of No Doubt’s “Underneath It All.” Really lovely song and emphasizing loving someone underneath their looks, they’re mistakes, they’re flaws. And we can do that with ourselves
Hi Vera! I loved this video! I would like to know more about your choice of quitting social media. I am starting to suspect I would benefit too from doing It... Thanks🤗
Thanks Fabiana! Actually, I never really started social media in the first place. :) Never had FB either. So it's not really that I quit, more that I never began haha. But it's a great idea for a video nonetheless. :) Thanks!
I really like that you said “practice makes better” rather than the more routine “practice makes perfect” that is also heard from people. Nothing is perfect to start with (first principal of wabi sabi), but trying to be or attain perfection is not a worthwhile path. Great video, great thoughts.
This is beautifully said. Needed these great reminders! I’m older, so now I don’t naturally care what others think of me as much as I was when I was younger. Now I know I’m not just my body or personality. I’m fine with being imperfect and insecure at times. I’ve detached from certain people that were not good for me due to the criticism as I was a family scapegoat, I had to let go of certain fam members. Now I have a loving relationship as well.
Thank you, Vera. I really resonated with this because I too have many similarities to you that made me feel insecure in the past. One of the things I am still working on now is my educational abilities and I know my confidence will come with time. ✨
Thanks so much Jess, so happy the video resonated with you! Love how you phrased that you know your confidence will come with time :) You deserve it and it's a great attitude!
I had imposter syndrome in every job yet everyone seemed to look up to me. I just made out I was confident and people believed my persona yet I really wasn’t confident at all. It all stemmed from feeling worthless constantly and adopted out at birth .. I’m moving through this but has taken nearly 50 years.
For me, thinking that God loves me so much is enough to be confident, because man are not perfect and day can change their mind about you. Especially a boyfriend. I have been happily married for 11 years and trust me, no man on earth can fulfill the love of God in your life.
Wow thanks for talking about this topic, because it's very important. I'm not really insecure, but sometimes negative comments have an impact on me. Btw, I think that you are very beautiful 😃😃💙
To me, confidence comes from a real space. As I connect with who I really was once, as a child; my natural character, ways to communicate, insight and passion for life. This is the place that leads me to true confidence 💛
Vera, I have been watching your videos for a while now and find them really good, and I think this is one of the best ones ever. Your honest, authentic sharing I believe is/will make a big difference in other's lives, for people of all ages, but especially young men and women who struggle with some of the same human issues. Thank you for all the effort and hard work you clearly put into your work.
Hi Vera! What a great video, as usual! It almost brought me to tears and I really loved the photos you inserted in it. I became more confident when I stopped doing fitness and started yoga instead. I was fed up with the whole "become the best version of yourself" theory and realized that I was already the best version of myself. Striving for perfection got me very insecure indeed and I feel much better now. Have a nice day and take care 🌷
YESSS exactly this hahahaha :) I still love exercising and yoga, but the mindset is completely different now. It's a form of self care. It's not about changing myself anymore. I also don't vibe with the whole becoming the best version of yourself. Why should we always need to change, as if we're not already the best version of ourselves right now. Well said :)
@@SimpleHappyZen @Marine I'm confusedd... how am i already the best version of myself? For example, i am not happy with my confidence or fitness level, and i want to be better in those areas.. so wouldn't i need to change and become a better version of myself? Could you two elaborate? Am i missing something?
Thank you for sharing your journey with self-confidence, it was really interesting to hear and there were so many valuable lessons to take from it. I've always really struggled with confidence. I'm 42 now and it's only really been in the past 3 or 4 years that I have started to build confidence in myself. The mental habits that create a lack of confidence can be hard to break for sure, and that inner critical voice can be deafening sometimes. What I'm learning is that I don't have to explain away or argue with the feelings and thoughts that generate low confidence, I can simply acknowledge their presence, recognise that they don't help me to live the life I wish to live and then let them go.
By knowing your own strength and weakness, and not comparing with others, with the knowledge that everyone is special in their own way, we will start to love ourselves and love others better. When we love ourselves, we actually have self confidence.
Thanks for watching! Feel free to subscribe to the channel for more videos about living a simpler, happier and calmer life. I’d love for you to be a part of the community. 😊
Also, a very special thank you to my patrons for their support. If you’d like to get more videos from me, and help me to continue making them, feel free to join here: patreon.com/simplehappyzen
Hi, I have.few other important work in life if I speak 24 /7 just get exhaust
Another great video...thank you!!
Wonderful video.
I love that you said it as "practice makes better" instead of "perfect", because that strive for perfectionism is one of the biggest factors in my lifelong struggle with low self-esteem. Thank you for your insights and kindness in this video! 😊
Thanks so much Henk! Yes, I prefer practice makes better :)
Vera, this is honestly one of my favorite videos of yours. I've watched it three times already... so much of what you say resonates for me. I've struggled with self confidence so much and can relate to a lot of the specific insecurities you mentioned.
I haven't had the kind of stable, loving, long term relationship you have, but I loved you sharing about yours and it inspires me to think about that kind of reciprocal "building each other up" as one of the things I want, and will cherish, in a relationship in the future.
Thank you!
Thanks so much for your kind comment Dominica, so happy this video resonated with you :) I hope you'll continue to get more and more confident from now on :)
I think this is one of your best videos. I wish they’d show this to every young person in school!
Aw thanks Kim :) Have a lovely weekend!
Came here to say this too - Vera's content is always really high quality but even so, this video is particularly good 👍
I so totally agree. That’s why I love this channel!!
I have only been a subscriber for a month or so, but have to agree that this particular video is one of the best I’ve seen so far!
I agree with kimb884! Such a good video, and so helpful.
I loved this! Especially the bit about doing something clumsy and being laughed at. I always used to think the laughing was because of ME as a person, but I have learned over many years that it's simply because of something funny I had done. Us HSPs are our own worst enemy sometimes! Thank you for reminding me of this, Vera! Sending love to you ❤
Thank you so much Mandy, sending a hug back!! And yes exactly, it's totally okay if people laugh WITH us, it doesn't mean they're laughing AT us :)
What a beautiful and insightful video. Thank you for opening up to us. I can relate and remember when I was insecure about my appearance when I was a lot younger and just thinking that others were cooler or had more fun. Confidence comes with maturity and self-love. Now my confidence has to do with appreciating that others are different. It's not important to me anymore that others share my values or opinions.
Absolutely love what you shared! Man, feeling like others were cooler or had more fun. You're describing my teens and early twenties hahahaha
This is such a beautiful video, it really resonated with me, I grew up with a lot of insecurities and now that I am 39 I finally feel confident about myself and who I am, than you for making this self loving and beautiful content ❤ I hope this message gets to lots of people who need to know how valuable they are
Thank you so much Cristina, happy you enjoyed the video! And love what you shared about finding your confidence :) Take care and have a wonderful day!
I needed to hear this today. I’m going to start a new job soon & this message hits home! Thanks for the pep talk!
Happy you enjoyed the video :) Congrats on the new job!!
You have a pure soul 🙏
This resonates with me 100% . I learnt it over time too!!
Happy to hear the video resonated with you!! :) Have a lovely day today
This radiates such abundant mom energy- I love it!! This is the simplest most genuine sharing that I needed long ago, although it is still so comforting & helpful to hear this at 21 now! I was treated differently from other girls my age growing up for various reasons which greatly impacts my current openness to new trusting relationships currently. This is exactly what I needed to hear as I am very scared to open up to new possible friendships as a college student. This video actually feels like someone holding my hand through the process of being confident enough to do so & I just want to say thank you so so much for sharing your experience. I feel an organic personability from your video style & I am sure it is helping others as well. Your work impacts other people more than what you might see online, and I want to share that your contributions are so radically nuturing to me as well. Your hard work does not go unnoticed & I will show this channel to my younger sister, as I am sure she needs kind words like yours too. You & the obvious effort & care you put into your creative projects are appreciated!! I hope to join patreon soon & that your day is as lovely as you are (^ v ^* )/
I love your morning and evening meditations. And thank you for this one. It’s so true about comparing ourselves on social media. It can really get me down at times. Comparison can really suck the joy out of us. Great video
Thank you so much Cheryl and happy to hear you're enjoying my meditations as well!
I think you are gorgeous and i love the way you present yourself. You are an inspiration! Thank you for making your videos. You are my new favorite youtube channel. God bless!
You have no idea how much I needed this!!!! Thanks a lot dear💖💖
Happy you enjoyed the video :) Have a lovely day!
You may have tried this, but for my eye twitches sometimes lubricating eye drops help. Thanks for this video Vera! It really resonated with me.
Hi Megan! Yes I use them too! My doctor recommended them for my eyes when they get dry... didn't know they could work for twitches too 🤗
We are all perfectly imperfect
Exactly! :)
Thank you for this video ♥️♥️♥️
You're very welcome :) Have a great day!
Thank you Vera. This video make me realized I can become a confident person.
So happy to hear that Karina, you definitely can!! Sending you a hug
From what I saw from your pictures, I thought you were such a cutie. Not to detract you from your life journey...But With that, You go, Girl!!!! Tackle your own life as best as you can. You are beautiful ❤️
Haha aww, thanks Nichole!! 🤗🌷🍵 Have a lovely day today!
I love your videos. They’re so comforting. Have you seen the vampire diaries? You look like Caroline Forbes!
I think you are beautiful inside and out!💞💞💞💞
Aw thank you so much Laury 🤗🌷💕
OMG! Why? The first time I saw you I thought “this girl is so beautiful, skin.. , hair, voice, good talker, nature lover, brilliant youtuber…”
Usually we are our worst friends.. we’d never say these kind of bad things to another person..
Happy to listen your evolution.
I haven’t got IG,etc either. Well done!
P.S: sorry about my English
Hug from 🇪🇸
Thank you so much for your sweet comment!! :) I'm happy to say I've become a confident adult now haha. But yes, we can definitely be our own worst critic. Have a lovely day!
I thought the exact same thing but understand that so many people struggle with these insecurities no matter what we see from the outside.
All other video say confidence is in how you dress or how good you look, but what you're saying makes more sense. Confidence starts from the inside.
Funny, being nearly flat chested and pale are also some of the reasons why I was insecure - and even if I’m a confident adult now, being pale is one of the things that still gets sometimes during the summer months. 😅
The main things that changed me and allowed me to be confident are:
- using comparison in a positive manner and trying to learn from the people I admired
- stop worrying so much about what people thought of me; I was quiet because I was afraid people might not like what I have to say - which is a lot of things 😂😂 - then I realised being quiet and invisible and blending in was not making me happy. So I let my fears go and showed everyone how chatty I was and turns out people did like me, that helped my self esteem as I realised being liked as a person had nothing to do with my skin colour or my lack of boobs 😂😂
- stop taking myself so seriously - turns out that once I started laughing at myself for being clumsy or for saying something stupid, what I thought was people mocking me was actually people trying to laugh with me, not at me.
Hope you have a lovely weekend. 💐
Absolutely loved reading your comment Alexandra, thanks for sharing :) Put a big smile on my face. So happy you allowed yourself to be chatty and to let go of your fears!
I'm also very pale and pretty flat on top haha. What helped me accept my super white skin is to try to view it as me taking care of my health. Remaining pale throughout the summer means I do a good job protecting myself from UV light which could give me skin cancer in the long run and that is more important to me than how I look.
This is a very important video! I'm 53, and I'm still learning self confidence. You made such excellent points throughout this video, and I believe you make a difference in the world, even beyond your subscribers! Love from 🇨🇦
Aw that's so sweet of you to say Tami, thank you so much. Sending you a big hug
I loved this video Vera, I loved the concept of “internal & external locus of identity”, when I was younger my family which was large (11 siblings), although it was a lot of fun to have all of them meant that we didn’t have much materially, so no cool clothes, hand me downs, and I felt really invisible, like there wasn’t anything special about me. I felt very different from other kids. I remember saying when I was 12 that I wanted to join the “Red Cross” to go help all the children who were hungry, sick or orphaned. I had a very hard time seeing the effects of war & prejudice. I tried to change who I was and take on the “I’ll just worry about myself attitude” but that never worked! I couldn’t shut the feelings off! It wasn’t until my 30’s really that I embraced who I really was and I now think that yes I am a caring, conscientious & loving person and I’m really cool with that. I can’t imagine being any other way now. We truly find more happiness in life when we stop trying to be something or someone that we’re not. Thank you for sharing on this topic! 🌷
Wow, loved reading your story Joan, thanks so much for sharing it! 11 siblings... wow! Love what you said about how you now see yourself :)
A beautiful message from a beautiful person. Thank you 🙏🏻 I just turned 50 and still struggling with this topic from time to time. In the past I went quite far in this. I tried to turn into anything that I thought others expected from me. This way I attracted the wrong people and ended up marrying a Narcissistic man. I’ll spare you the details. It’s when I found myself back, (cause I totally lost myself) my life turned around a 180 degrees. 🌸🌸🌸
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts Carmen. So happy to hear your life turned around for you 💕🌷🤗
I have been having such a hard time with my confidence lately.. I can’t tell you how much I needed this. 🥺😭❤️
I'm sorry to hear that, hope you'll feel better! Feel free to watch the video as much as you need :)
Thank you Vera ! I would say to anyone JUST BE YOU!! don't try to fit in and be liked EVERYONE IS UNIQUE!! . Don't care about what people say, do, think, have etc. And skip toxic "friends" / situations/ lifestyle, its so not worth it🌷you will see🙂
Great advice!
The trouble that I'm encountering is that although I've learnt so much about being an HSP, and although I feel worthy, the moment I enter into conversations with people who are much more outgoing than me, I feel like the odd one out. I feel awkward and like I don't want to be there (it can be SO loud to be in a group, it's hard to concentrate!). It's hard, because I do need to network, visit conferences and such for my work, but it always feels like a confrontation. Like I thought I had accepted myself, but then when confronted with people who socialize so 'effortlessly', I feel out of sorts again. Like I'm missing some vital skills. It's comparison, I know, but I suppose it goes a lot deeper than I had anticipated... and I'm trying to work on that!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Amber. :) I can understand that feeling of being a fish out of water in situations like that :) Perhaps it can help to remember that you are your own person, and you have your own unique talents. They might be different from socializing effortlessly, but no less important or valuable :)
@@SimpleHappyZen thank you! I agree 💛 it’s hard when those socializing qualities are very much appreciated in your job. As a researcher, my HSP qualities definitely help me too though ☺️
I've only started the video, but I was that girl, for all of the same reasons you mentioned. At 51, I still struggle with self confidence. My 31-year-old son prefers brunettes, but when he saw me watching one of your videos a year or two ago, he told me you were a very attractive woman, and one of the prettiest blondes he has ever seen. He has autism, and is a big gamer, and when I told him you play video games, he thought that was the coolest thing ever.
Aw that is so sweet! Thank you for leaving this comment Tanya 🤗💕🌺 Sending you a big hug and hoping your confidence will boost as well :) You deserve it and remember that practice makes better :)
So sad that someone as beautiful as you inside and out did not always feel that way. Unfortunately I see this in a lot people, especially women. I remember working with a man who I though was so handsome when I first met him. Over time, I got to see that he was unkind and condescending. Suddenly, I began to notice that his nose was big and his hands were strange. If you are not beautiful on the inside, it eventually shows through. Great video Vera and thanks for sharing this.
Thank you so much for your kind comment Sandra!! :) I can relate to what you said. Especially as women, we can be very hard on ourselves I think. Also, yes! I find people who have a great personality much more attractive as well. If someone is conventionally attractive, but I don't like their personality, I never feel anything for their looks either.
Vera I also had low selfesteem when I was young. I always struggled with weight all my life. I got picked on at school. But now at 72 next month I love myself and I'm growing old naturally. No makeup and no coloring my hair. I have embraced my gray hair. Vera you are a lovely and beautiful young woman. ❤
Hi Cathy! Love that so much!!! Have a wonderful day
Hi Vera ,you are beautiful soul.Love your videos,there’s a lot of wisdom in them.
Thank you so much for your kind comment :) Have a lovely Monday!
This video really spoke to me, so thank you for speaking up on this topic! I feel like some of what you shared about yourself are things that I can relate to. I was bullied in 4th grade, and even though the girls who put me through that eventually ended up becoming friends with me, I still had my own insecurities about my appearance which didn't manifest until later in middle school. I could share a whole lot more of my own thoughts and experiences on this topic, but to keep things relatively short here, one thing I'll say is that I'm mostly looking forward to turning 30 this year (my birthday is in August). Being 29 currently has its ups and downs; in some ways, it's re-teaching me certain things that need to stop happening in my life. I appreciate your content so much, Vera, as well as your calming presence in all of your videos. 😊❤️
Thank you so much Amy for sharing your thoughts. I'm so sorry to hear you were bullied. Honestly, I don't get why kids can be so mean sometimes. I do believe they're not fully aware of the long-term damage it can cause. I still remember a few single comments people said to me like 25 years ago, even though they probably thought nothing of it. I think it's amazing you were able to become friendly with the same girls who put you through that, very strong of you :) Also, so excited for you that your 30th birthday is coming up!!
@@SimpleHappyZen Thank you so much! 💓
thank you for this video, Vera. At 54 I still struggle with self confidence from time to time. like right now. mostly with my skills.I am a dog groomer. I so enjoy what I do but will find flaws in my finished work or get stressed by running out of time and comparing my work to videos of other groomers. My current boss is really nice and does encourage me and points out my strength and love for the pets that come into our salon. I take things way to seriously and will make it a point to stop and smell the roses ( and maybe add a little doggy dance) this week and work on becoming better, not perfect. Thanks for that statement.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts Claudia! Being surrounded by pets all day sounds like so much fun 😍 Happy to hear your boss is encouraging (not all of them are, haha) and that you're working on finding more confidence and stopping to smell the roses :)
Very good advice! We all could use a little pep talk once in awhile. Building confidence for me is something that really comes with maturity. It happened as I really got older. Thanks for the video. 🌻❤
Thanks Madelyn!! I agree, getting older and just generally having more life experience really helped a lot :) Small 'problems' seem a lot bigger when you're very young
I absolutely love this, Vera! 💖 I, too, used to be insecure about my pale skin because kids made fun of me for it but now I feel like it’s beautiful and I own it! Also, in some countries, pale skin is considered very attractive.
Exactly! :) Still don't really get why so many people feel the need to comment on it. Every summer I still get people saying: Oh, you need to go in the sun, you're too pale! Like why 😂 But luckily, it doesn't bother me anymore now. We're beautiful in our own way! And like you said, so much of beauty standards are culturally different as well.
Feel insecure about your looks? I was admirimg how incredibly beautiful you are in a previous video. You are absolutely exquisite. I promise!!
You are beautiful, angelic inside and out. Many wish they looked like you and had your sweet, light, and gentle personality.
🤗💕
I have been slowly growing in confidence for about 15 years. I get frustrated with myself that this is still a problem for me. Today I made a decision at work to do something I felt was the right procedure without waiting to ask someone else. I feel like I am always afraid of not doing things good enough or that someone will get mad at me. I was wrongly accused of bad intentions in the past and I think that really scarred me and still effects me today. I will keep taking steps to believe in myself and risk rejection, but it is hard.
I find myself drawn to people who I feel have a radiant light coming from the inside. That’s how I first landed on your videos. This is a great message and confirms the light you exude.
Aw thank you Sheila, that's so kind of you to say 🤗🌷🍵 Happy to hear you're enjoying my videos. Have a wonderful rest of your day
☮️🌷🥳 Very well done Vera. The highlight for me is change when growing up and maturing. This is the stage when we should realize what is really important. We only need to look and be concerned about what is happening around us in the world. I believe as we grow older we need to listen to our inner voice, which guides us to do what we are here for. It was a pleasure as always!
Yes, exactly! Thanks for sharing Jennie :) Happy you enjoyed the video, take care and have a lovelu rest of your weekend!
Sadly, particularly for women images and social media do promote a certain way that you are supposed to look. In truth everyone is special and unique. I hope you do not mind me saying I think you are a beautiful woman, however that is both on the outside and inside. Your honest advice and guidance for a slow and better life can only come from someone that is truly beautiful.
You are such a nice person! Many highly sensitive people bloom later in life, me too :)
Aw thanks Ellen :) I think that's actually really interesting and feels like that could definitely be true :)
Hey just a heads up you may want to move the text up on your thumbnail. On my feed the time stamp is in the way and all I could read was “no longer inse”. I clicked anyway though 😉
Hi Emily, thanks so much for letting me know! :D I tested it but I think it might be different on different devices... Thanks for clicking anyway haha, hope you enjoyed the video!
From the start of the video we have so many similarities inside and out that i know I'm in the right place
Aw that's nice :)
Great topic! You did a wonderful job of covering so many points. I especially liked that you pointed out that people may seem to be very confident, but they also have their own insecurities. I am an introvert and have never liked being the center of attention, but I had a job where I was often giving presentations. I learned to project confidence while speaking. It was a skill something I worked at, not what I felt.
Yes, I did the fake it 'till you make it in my job as well haha :) Thanks for sharing Stella, happy you enjoyed the video. Have a lovely weekend!
I think you can be an insecure person while still being very confident in your area of expertise. At least I have experienced this in my life and I found it fascinating.
You can be insecure at a party or social gathering but you can be badass and the most confident person in a conference room covering a topic you know inside out. We’re multilayered and complex beings, and learn more about ourselves everyday when we step out of our comfort zone.
4:08: "You cannot shop for [confidence]. They don't sell it in the stores." : )
I'm older and still not confident (internally). As a tall, flat chested woman I always get the most toxic people attracted to me. It's a vicious cycle I can't wait to break. I really do prefer my chest as I am super athletic and don't need the boob wobble.
The twitching muscle in your eye -- I love how real you get in the videos ❤
I find your messages emotionally intelligent and very beautiful.....I wonder if the bullies now have one hundred and sixty nine thousand followers that love them.
Aw thank you so much, that's such a nice thing to say 🤗💕🌺 Enjoy your day today!
I agree that positive self talk is the biggest key. Whenever I get into the negative self talk cycle, I feel insecure and don’t want to go out of the house even! Working in making positive self talk my motto.
It's so important :) Thanks for sharing your thoughts, enjoy your day today!
Loved your straight from the heart talk.
Thanks so much, I'm happy to hear it :) Have a wonderful weekend!
Another great video Vera, thank you. Honesty is the best gift a person could give to this world.
So many of young people need to know that they might not look their best untill their late 20s :) 🙋
Thanks so much! :) And enjoy your day!
Thank you for this video ✌🏻
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. I always had to remind myself that because it's funny that when I see you or anyone that looks like you, I've always thought that's the most beautiful person I've ever seen yet someone like you could turn around and think that about me. Knowledge is power and knowing that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder is key to understanding how people feel about themselves.
I was tihnking exactly this :) Haha. Thanks for putting the words to it!
43! I srsly thought you were in your 20s and even said to myself, “she’s so wise in her young years.” You look great! Thank you for your thoughtful and helpful content.❤
Haha aw, thank you! :)
What a great video! You are beautiful inside AND out! I do love that amazing skin of yours.. it glows with radiance!💕🙏❤️
Aw thank you Perez, that's so sweet :) Have a nice weekend!
Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. You are beautiful in and out and I admire your strength, your outlook on life, your passion for all simple and beautiful things of the world we live in. You are enough! We are enough! A thousand times Thank YOU!!!
Aw thanks Alejandra for leaving this comment 🤗💕
Love this❤️ one more amazing.. wonderful.. inspiring video Vera🌸😇
Thank you so much Priyanka 🤗🌿🍵
My mum once told me that she's a bit jealous of people who 'always seem to get things right the first time'. I don't think real success is about doing things right: it's about the capacity to self-reflect and make things better. My mum is one of the few people I know who only gets better and better with age. She's matured so much since her 30s. I think that's a real achievement.
🥰 So sweet!
For me personally it helped to study and move out on my own 40 miles away. That was not a decision I made in a second or to escape! But a well thought out plan that I also had been talked about with my parents, so they understood my ideas and why. That's how I could make a fresh start, build confidence , well away from expectations and past ( did not enjoy school very much at all before this switch) and find my own ritm in life. Best choise ever😅 and my parents agreed and were surprised and very proud to see that it went great. 🙂 So was I 😊
to aid others.
Wow that's awesome!
What’s crazy is my eyes been twitching for two weeks now and it twitched RIGHT when you said your eye twitched. At the same time! Wow lol what are the odds. Love this video btw💞
Haha our eyes were in sync 😄
Now we realise pale skin is skin like porcelain💜 if anyone is small chested feel cute and pretty😋 we are all different .. thank you for sharing Vera you are sooo inspiring beautiful wise 😊💜🤎💜
Haha yes! We're all different. :) Thank you Deborah, take care and enjoy your day today!!
Everyone needs a friend like you,Vera 😊Thank you so much for sharing ❤️
Aw that's so sweet!! I feel like I have many friends here as well :) Have a wonderful day!
@@SimpleHappyZen You deserve to get love from people 😊
Would you do a video recommending tv shows or movies to watch or books to read for fun, that being said i really appreciated and needed this video. Thank you for being on UA-cam. You’ve changed my daily life in little ways that now seem huge
Aw that's so sweet, thank you so much Bea!!! So happy to hear you're enjoying my content 🤗🌷💖 Also, thank you for your recommendation, I might do that sometime!
I love the photography you share with us in your videos. Since childhood I have always found that ducks are so much fun to watch. When they swim around and all of the the ducklings follow their mother is so kool. But when the ducks 🦆 dunk their heads down in the water and their butts pop up --this just cracks me up and makes laugh every time. It always reminds me that when one thing goes down other things may pop up somewhere else and visa versa.
Hahahaha yes, exactly! I love watching them too :)
I struggled with those issues for a long time too. Now? I don't care anymore. People either like me or they don't. I don't care. The ones that do like me, I want to have around. Those who don't, they don't need to be part of my life. Life is too short. I think you're great the way you are. That's why I enjoy seeing your videos as you put them up.
Love what you shared Maureen! Thanks so much :) Enjoy your day!
You're very cute and nice thank you so much for this video and all the thought and care and good energy you put into it, feels very nice to receive and absorb your wisdom x
Thank you so much Louise, happy you enjoyed the video :)
Love you! I am so surprised to a new video coming out so soon. Usually I have to wait 10 days! Thank you so much! Wish you well and happiness!
Thanks so much for your kind comment! :) Yes haha, I try to post weekly, but sometimes it's 10 days hihi.
I enjoyed seeing those pictures of you!
Thanks!! :) I enjoyed flipping through old photo albums for them :)
Love from Portugal.
i’ve been going back through some of your videos that i haven’t seen before, and this one really spoke to me. i’ve been dealing with my own share of insecurities lately, and little by little i have been finding new ways to address them. this video made me feel better :)
You were a cute little girl
Haha aw, thanks! :)
Thank you for this video and for being around...
Thanks Hans :) Happy New Year! 🤗✨🥂🍵
11:04 reminds me of No Doubt’s “Underneath It All.” Really lovely song and emphasizing loving someone underneath their looks, they’re mistakes, they’re flaws. And we can do that with ourselves
Hi Vera! I loved this video! I would like to know more about your choice of quitting social media. I am starting to suspect I would benefit too from doing It... Thanks🤗
Thanks Fabiana! Actually, I never really started social media in the first place. :) Never had FB either. So it's not really that I quit, more that I never began haha. But it's a great idea for a video nonetheless. :) Thanks!
@@SimpleHappyZenWell, It sounds even more enteresting to me! Thanks you Vera :D
So many wonderful reminders and insights…Your videos are always so helpful, uplifting, genuine, and thoughtful…Thank you so much!! ❤️
Aw thanks Kat :) Have a lovely day!
Watching this was a really good way to start my day, thank you very much for the video 😊 Keep up the great work 😊👍💖
Thanks Sofia, so happy to hear it! Have a lovely rest of your day
I really like that you said “practice makes better” rather than the more routine “practice makes perfect” that is also heard from people. Nothing is perfect to start with (first principal of wabi sabi), but trying to be or attain perfection is not a worthwhile path. Great video, great thoughts.
My thoughts exactly :) Thanks Ronald!
Are you Dutch?
This really spoke to me, thank you!!
Happy to hear it :) You're very welcome, take care and have a lovely rest of your day
This is beautifully said. Needed these great reminders!
I’m older, so now I don’t naturally care what others think of me as much as I was when I was younger. Now I know I’m not just my body or personality.
I’m fine with being imperfect and insecure at times. I’ve detached from certain people that were not good for me due to the criticism as I was a family scapegoat, I had to let go of certain fam members. Now I have a loving relationship as well.
Thank you, Vera. I really resonated with this because I too have many similarities to you that made me feel insecure in the past. One of the things I am still working on now is my educational abilities and I know my confidence will come with time. ✨
Thanks so much Jess, so happy the video resonated with you! Love how you phrased that you know your confidence will come with time :) You deserve it and it's a great attitude!
Genuinely think this is the best video you've done. So well put together and it flows really well, so many good points too 👏🏼💯
Thank you so much Daniel! So happy you enjoyed it
I always leave each video feeling more confident & calmer 🙂thank you so much!! 🌸
That's so nice to hear, thank you! Enjoy your day
Good good Vera !! You are prettier than ever 😀😀
Aw thanks Helia :) Have a lovely day today!
I had imposter syndrome in every job yet everyone seemed to look up to me. I just made out I was confident and people believed my persona yet I really wasn’t confident at all. It all stemmed from feeling worthless constantly and adopted out at birth .. I’m moving through this but has taken nearly 50 years.
For me, thinking that God loves me so much is enough to be confident, because man are not perfect and day can change their mind about you. Especially a boyfriend. I have been happily married for 11 years and trust me, no man on earth can fulfill the love of God in your life.
Wow thanks for talking about this topic, because it's very important. I'm not really insecure, but sometimes negative comments have an impact on me. Btw, I think that you are very beautiful 😃😃💙
Thank you so much Irene :) I agree it's an important topic.Take care and have a lovely day!
To me, confidence comes from a real space. As I connect with who I really was once, as a child; my natural character, ways to communicate, insight and passion for life. This is the place that leads me to true confidence 💛
I’ve tried for so long to feel confident without success that I’ve given up. 😔
Vera, I have been watching your videos for a while now and find them really good, and I think this is one of the best ones ever. Your honest, authentic sharing I believe is/will make a big difference in other's lives, for people of all ages, but especially young men and women who struggle with some of the same human issues. Thank you for all the effort and hard work you clearly put into your work.
Aw thakn you so much Julie for your kind comment 🤗🌺🌿💕 I really appreciate it!! Take care and have a wonderful rest of your weekend
I can relate, I myself would Wonder about your pale skin, I am dark skin, lol
This was a wonderful and extremely helpful video thank you so much Vera your style is lovely and exactly what helps me out in my life
Hi Vera! What a great video, as usual! It almost brought me to tears and I really loved the photos you inserted in it. I became more confident when I stopped doing fitness and started yoga instead. I was fed up with the whole "become the best version of yourself" theory and realized that I was already the best version of myself. Striving for perfection got me very insecure indeed and I feel much better now. Have a nice day and take care 🌷
YESSS exactly this hahahaha :) I still love exercising and yoga, but the mindset is completely different now. It's a form of self care. It's not about changing myself anymore. I also don't vibe with the whole becoming the best version of yourself. Why should we always need to change, as if we're not already the best version of ourselves right now. Well said :)
@@SimpleHappyZen @Marine I'm confusedd... how am i already the best version of myself?
For example, i am not happy with my confidence or fitness level, and i want to be better in those areas.. so wouldn't i need to change and become a better version of myself? Could you two elaborate? Am i missing something?
Thank you for sharing your journey with self-confidence, it was really interesting to hear and there were so many valuable lessons to take from it. I've always really struggled with confidence. I'm 42 now and it's only really been in the past 3 or 4 years that I have started to build confidence in myself. The mental habits that create a lack of confidence can be hard to break for sure, and that inner critical voice can be deafening sometimes. What I'm learning is that I don't have to explain away or argue with the feelings and thoughts that generate low confidence, I can simply acknowledge their presence, recognise that they don't help me to live the life I wish to live and then let them go.
I love that! And I'm sure your meditations are also helpful for that. Acknowledging what's going on without putting any labels on it :)
By knowing your own strength and weakness, and not comparing with others, with the knowledge that everyone is special in their own way, we will start to love ourselves and love others better. When we love ourselves, we actually have self confidence.
Yes! Love this :) Thanks for sharing Kaede
Omg. My bestie and I have been looking down lately and also questioning where in the world these LADIES have come from?! You’re not alone LOL.