Violence Is Never The Answer, Right? | The Hunt For The World’s Oldest Man | Runaway Saw Blade Drama
Вставка
- Опубліковано 3 кві 2024
- An alarming number of Americans believe violence can solve our political divisions, the oldest man in the world has passed away, and a man in Oregon has a near miss with a giant runaway saw blade.
#Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
Subscribe To "The Late Show" Channel: bit.ly/ColbertUA-cam
Watch full episodes of "The Late Show": bit.ly/1Puei40
Listen to "The Late Show Pod Show" podcast: link.chtbl.com/Awagtx95?sid=yt
Like "The Late Show" on Facebook: on. 1df139Y
Follow "The Late Show" on X: bit.ly/1dMzZzG
Follow "The Late Show" on Instagram: bit.ly/29wfREj
Watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35 PM ET/10:35 PM CT. Only on CBS.
---
Stephen Colbert brings his signature satire and comedy to THE LATE SHOW with STEPHEN COLBERT, the #1 show in late night, where he talks with an eclectic mix of guests about what is new and relevant in the worlds of politics, entertainment, business, music, technology and more. Featuring bandleader Louis Cato and “THE LATE SHOW band,” the Peabody Award-winning and Emmy Award-nominated show is broadcast from the historic Ed Sullivan Theater. Stephen Colbert took over as host, executive producer and writer of THE LATE SHOW on Sept. 8, 2015. - Розваги
From the outside (Europe, here) it seems so unbelievably crazy that this election could be even vaguely close.
“United” indeed.
American here. Believe me when we say we think it's insane too. I don't think it will end up being that close, myself.
America is slipping into stark, raving madness, my friend 😢
I agree we have many dumb people here willing to risk our democracy for dump in pants gross old party members like Nazis
There are a lot of loud crazies on the internet trying to make it look close.
The truth shall set us free!!!❤️ Go Stormy! Go Michael Cohen!
what about karen mcdogal?
beware cohen liar con man coverup now spotted as trusted status? boy are we stupid and fickle are we as a social media consumer. Always in late love and truth.
@@honpot2016 Spelled it incorrectly. Please try again.
TRUMP 2024
@@silentmajority8365 You should change the avatar name name to "silentminority"".
6:24
I was 100% expecting CERVESA CRISTAL
Right?? Totally missed opportunity!
Yes!
Wait...what is this?
@@kylehd7its… CERVESA CRISTAL!
The Cerveza Cristal joke opportunity was right there! 😭
Not gonna lie, I was half expecting it.
A gold toilet is missing? 🤔🤔 Has anyone searched Mar A Lago?? 😂
think thats more a trumptower thing!
That was my first thought as well. But mho may be right... I think that's more tower than club.
😂😂😂
Check under thst big pile of boxes marked top secret.
My first thought!
Also has anyone checked the crime scene for discarded documents or Big Mac wrappers that wouldn't flush?
(even after 15 tries) 😳
The alcohol bit... Would have been perfect to throw in "cerveza Cristal!!"
"get back to 69ing Vermont" was some good writing. Hilarious.
At the end, Louis and the band look like they're on seventh heaven. They have the greatest job and they appreciate it! I appreciate their awesome music.
I hope Stormy winks and smiles at Donny during the trial.
lol, or waves a little mushroom fan…
Trump derangement syndrome is crazy you guys really be fantasizing😂
@@jeromesullivan4015😄😄😄😄😄
God bless America, and I'll never eat mushrooms again!😅🍄 Well maybe a magic one, or two?😅
she should bring a little 3” potted mushroom to the trial with her.
Finally a real Judge with integrity and ethics that follows the law.
AMEN.
@@marjoriegarland2798 no, that shit is anti-law. Religion out of reality now!
Unlike Cannon or Cannot. She has egregiously offered the craziest “what ifs” in the world. This so called judge needs a little comeuppance come judgement day or in the next week or so ~
I loved Louis Cato's on-stage cameo as his hologram tries to reach for his guitar. Tim Cook!! 😂
Gotta love the Militant Centrists. “Give me liberty, Or give me something else!”
I wish in the news they had to disclose how a poll was conducted. Are they calling landlines south of the Mason Dixon line? Cell phones? What are the demographics? Who answers unknown calls on their cell phones?
News broadcasts don't have time for a full explanation. However, you can do it just by using a web browser. Took me less than 30 seconds. BTW RDD is random digit dialing. maristpoll.marist.edu/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/NPR_PBS-NewsHour_Marist-Poll_USA-NOS-and-Tables_202403291554.pdf
Yeah that is a problem with polling, most of it is still conducted via landlines if I’m remembering correctly, and what isn’t has trouble with younger people, due to the fact that if we’re not expecting a call, and we don’t recognize the number, we don’t answer
@@justintaylor1713I’m 72 and I don’t answer unknown phone callers! I can’t be the only old person doing that?
@silverhooligan
Poll respondents are mostly lonely retirees, eyes glazed by the light on a flickering TV.
If polls were correct, HRC would have been president. I’ll not answer a poll/survey again until America has dumped Trump. Let marketers/prognosticators wilt on their channels. Horoscopes have a better success rate lately.
That bud light lime was such a missed opportunity for a callback to Cerveza Cristal!
I thought the same thing lol
I know right
Tbh, I was really disappointed they missed that one.
Came here for this comment
The fakeout
5:35 I was really expecting there to be a joke here about our presidential candidates being the contenders for the oldest living man.
Same!
Forget the toilet. At my work building, someone strolled in with a wheel cart, loaded up our vending machine, and strolled right out in front of 3 deputies. Brazen as all get out - stole our vending machine 😂
Normally I hate April 15th (tax day), but this year is a different story. Now where is my popcorn?
And beer
Stormy' won't be intimidated and give great detail, it's her business, A Pro! You go, Girl....
God bless America, and I'll never eat mushrooms again!😅🍄 Well maybe a magic one, or two?😅
@@j.dunlop8295 okay dude, that's at least three copies of the exact same comment. It was good once... but don't try to make this your fifteen minutes of fame.
@@zedmelonNow I’m suddenly thinking it’s a bot after defending this statement earlier.
@@jeanneganrude8549 True, we've seen far less plausible happenings come to pass...
How would violence solve divisions?! 🤦🏼♂️
Well damn. I would be appalled by a poll asking if AMERICANS would consider violence to solve problems. But I live here. Nothing shocking about that.
April trials brings me smiles😂
I've been saying "April snow brings may flowers" because it's snowed at least twice since April 1st. It hasn't stuck, but there have been flakes.
that smile will turn to a frown. hes gunna win and then just pardon himself
Great line!
God bless America, and I'll never eat mushrooms again!😅🍄 Well maybe a magic one, or two?😅
😁 Great line!!! 🎉 😂
“April trials brings smiles”❤
😅😅😅
Yes, they say "April showers bring May flowers." But you know what Mayflowers bring? Pilgrims. Just ask the Natives how that turned out...
that is quite a cool segue
That "Darn you Tim Cook!" Almost was lost on me.
But who is Tim Cook? Thought his name was 🍎 Tim Apple! 😂
That saw blade is straight out of final destination.
😂😂 imagine the guy having just saw the movie going in the door thinking "I just can't take any more scares right now"
Is odd..but it wouldn't kill him , a saw at that speed would just bounce off . Injure him slightly ?yes, kill or saw him in half? , no
@@jlbueno0611Tell that to the door.
you beat me to it,how crazy was that!!?
@@jlbueno0611 ok let's try that theory on you
88 charges? He has a charge for every key on a piano.
Nice catch 🙂
Ebony
And Ivory
There is one key for every
Felony...
lol
Noice!
@@grumpydave7329 Superb
That was my old badge number. He can't have that!
''Sixty-Nining Vermont'' is probably the most clever joke i've ever heard Colbert tell.
God bless Brian, such a wholesome comedic relief. And that’s saying something with Stephen Colbert there ❤
Stormy should sue for PTSD 😊
And probably STD
Can we all sue
Stephen doesn't have a drinking problem. It goes down just fine.
"April trials, brings me smiles!" I love it!😂😂😂
You know that someone is a genuinely nice dude when he even doesn't know how to properly scream with anger ❤
Yeah this guy was on Epstein's Island...
And sure you're going to try to play what about ism.
But what was he doing there? Take a wild guess
Don’t f this up America get that man in prison now.
hunter?
christian nationalists. we can deal with druggies and oldness after. priorities.@@kane-vn6bn
Trump needs to go to jail already my God
@@kane-vn6bn yes if Connor committed a crime sure put him in jail
@@markkrull556he's been getting caught in crimes for years now 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
RIP Juan Vicente Bismora. Meanwhile (as Craig Ferguson noted), the curse of the world's oldest man continues......
I laughed more at your Comment than any of the late night hosts on UA-cam this morning!! 😆
“I need a beer, it’s 9 O’Clock, I’m not going to work today”
I hope that man took the best self care day possible.
“Violence-
Violence-
Is it the only thing
that will make you see sense?”-Mott the Hoople
Four-foot circular saw rips across parking lot and drives itself into convenience-store doorframe. Ten seconds later it's followed by Thor's hammer.
Hope this trial puts him in jail
Don't hold your breath.
"Oh, Stormy, oh, Stormy
Bring back that sunny day" - Classics IV
"Aguardiente" literally translates to "burning water". In Chile, instead of dinner we have a sort of expanded tea time call "onze" ("eleven", not to be confused with "elevenses"). Why eleven? Because back in the olden days, it wasn't polite to drink in front of the ladyfolk, so the men would excuse themselves to go for "eleven", the number of letters in "aguardiente".
Thank you. That was interesting.
En serio? Here it's called Guaro. It is indeed burning water 😜 que asco
I love you Stephen Colbert for making us laugh and telling about Trump.
I can’t wait to never hear about donnie drumpf ever again!
that will never happen dude. all this show does now is talk about trump and taylor swift. but you're right, its getting old
amen
You got that right
@@mikehennessy6766 > _it's getting old_
Nice callback to the "oldest man alive" segment.
Trump's father lived into his 90s. It could be a while.
That poor woman didn't get paid enough.
Violence is division at its paramount.
That saw looked like it was auditioning for Final Destination 😨
A new Final Destination movie may be on the horizon!
I really expected to see Tony Todd in the parking lot.
I love how Colbert endorsing the simple concept of nonviolence gets applause. Like it's some noble and novel idea or something to aspire to XD
*Nonviolence is non-effective against fascists.*
Lately there's not enough "taking the high road" in the news. We're starved for even the slightest indication of it.
@@zedmelon Agreed, Rump has irreparably degraded human civilization
Followed by "4 on 1 - we can take these guys!"
A truly great one liner.
I'll be thinking about that for a few weeks.
mostly peaceful???
"...they're very different." Truth.
"He's surfing in Nebraska." My favourite way to say that somebody's not the brightest. Could possibly apply to what's happening in Nebraska?
"tim COOOOOK!"
bravo louis.
😹😹😹😹😹 5/5
They live that long because they have a nice, comfortable place to live and a loving family that takes care of them.
Aquardiente is the national alcoholic happy juice of Venezuela and Colombia It has a licorice/ Sambuca
taste and a few whole coffee beans are sometimes added for extra zippity do da !!😂
Yeah get some
It will also help your
sticker peck out 😮😊
Between the runaway saw and the gold toilet, it feels like Meanwhile has invaded the monologue.
"i need a beer.."9:00... " i'm not going to work today.. ".... LEGEND..
Yeah! Luis got some more screen time, AND SMASHED IT! I LOVE THIS SHOW, AND THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY SOUL!
That guy should have immediately bought a lottery ticket before his luck wore off.
Great line Louis Cato 🤣🤣🤣
Rest in Peace to the world's oldest man who lived to be 114 years old 🕊️😢
Stephen is cheating on Cerveza Cristal
And RIP to Gisaburo Sonobe who inherited the oldest man award for a day or two.
This past week a 102 year old Pearl Harbor vet died. He was the LAST survivor of the USS Arizona. 🇺🇸
I read this...WoW ❤
@@SayAhh He missed a golden opportunity there - his writers dropped the ball.
That old man gasp was hilarious
I'm from Eugene. Go Ducks! "We smoked it all."
Bottle whistle was dead on!! Good job colbert!!
Greetings from Eugene Oregon
I have been to that store, long time ago. So strange to see Eugene being talked about by Stephen. We never make national news.
Same here! That clip horrified me, though; what a way to make the news.
You had the World Athletics Championships just 2 years ago. I watched every moment of it from here in Singapore. Thank you. You have a beautiful city.
@@pintpot that championship was such a disappointment. I worked at two different popular tourist spots in Eugene at the time, and we were expecting all these people to show up- bupkis! Everywhere was even more dead than usual because even locals stayed home too, avoiding the crowds that weren’t.
@@pintpot Thank you! That means a lot coming from someone living in Singapore (I mean, talk about beautiful). I'm, personally, very proud of our little city. ❤
The Markwayne portion of the party think punching someone out proves them correct. 😅😅
Violence is a problem, and never an answer.
Instead of Bud Lite Lime, they could have gone with the "Cerveza Cristal"
Aguardiente
Agua Ardiente
FIRE WATER lol
That’s some Final Destination stuff with that saw blade!!😳😳
6:50-7:05.
That was some "Final Destination" shit!
"BALLS" The first Judge to grow them will be a Hero! BALLS.
haha, true that!
Leftists lack testosterone...look at that nut judge in nyc
Libs lack balls
Great reporting: "A 4-foot concrete saw came loose".
Thanks Stephen for your program, always very funny and spirit lifting while exposing the GOP and DT's horrible and disgusting actions! 👍👍👍
Cobert is a GEM
💎 ‼️
I can't believe you're about my city, Eugene, Oregon!❤
I know, I live in Eugene too.
Lived there awhile back, such a great city back then.
But... KGW 8 is Portland station, not Eugene, right?
@@rockyfennell Yes, I caught that error as well. KGW is Portland and KEZI is Eugene.
KLCC! That dude’s comment was perfectly Eugene too. 😎 😂
I love the Golden toilet joke!!!⭐️
Aguardiente is a shot drink, Stephen! No chugging!
Whoops...😂😂
Will Stormy bring a copy of Forbes magazine?
😂 I'm a Brit. I remember that story about stealing that gold toilet!
We were all asking the same questions!
How?
Why? 😅
Yay. I'm looking forward to this trial.
HANDOUT: 🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿
I Love You Brian Stack!
Listening to Donnie always sparks a sense of wonder... such as wondering how the late night hosts will mock him mercilessly!
Thank you for always making me smile 💪🙏
Sawblade: Sorry 'bout that Chief! Missed him by _that_ much.
Stephen, Love your Monologue! I can see Trump seeing it, and choking on a Chicken Wing!!!
Violence to solve political issues? I thought we were more civilized than that by now. 🤦♀️☹️
When some people treat your existence as political; violence is inevitable.
I thought so too, and then Rittenhouse was acquitted.
Nope…
As a person living in Thailand I appreciated the reference to Muay Thai!
Great work with the tough guy impression.
He should have brought back...
Cerveza Cristal!!!! 😎🍻😎🍻
I love Brian Stack
I wrote a report to the court about a man who shoplifted a CANOE! The security guard held the door open for when he left. Just as heads were about to roll he came back. Not to return the canoe in some fit of conscience. He CAME BACK FOR THE OARS!!!
When I was in my twenties, I worked for a department store that had two cockatoo shoplifted
@@cathywethington5913 Isn't that redundant?
he “saw” his life flash before his eyes… needs a beer😂
Deliver Lewis his Emmy, right now!
"You know what they say about Nebraska?"
"Who the fuck is talking about Nebraska??"
😂😂😂...
Yeah this whole concept's corny
This deserves 311 likes.
Method Man.
Trump is going down like Don Jr on a fresh cut key of blow!!! 🙂
Yeah, let's see how JNR manages without his 'Mexican marching powder'... Unless he becomes a 'bitch' for one of the cartel... In prison.
God bless America, and I'll never eat mushrooms again!😅🍄 Well maybe a magic one, or two?😅
#separationofchurchandstate @@j.dunlop8295
The old guy sound on the Aging News intro was under appreciated.
This would've been a great time to bring back the Cerveza Cristal gag!
Makes me So happy whenever Brian Stack is on.
What was the Brian Stack bit referencing?
Sounds like something Steve Buscemi has said in some film somewhere, but I can’t put my finger on it.
@@LilDomontovich Living In Oblivion maybe?
I still can’t get over that saw barreling down the street only to wedge itself right where that very lucky guy was just seconds earlier. Totally insane!
Crazy to see that, OMG
And the way it Skipped Across the
Parking Lot...just WoW...😮😅
Had I been him, I’d have bought a lottery ticket right then. His luck was SCREAMING at him ~
That saw blade would not have come loose if that guy had just gotten on the plane and sat in his assigned seat.
If my pants weren't brown before that (if it were me), then they definitely would have been afterward
To the man that was almost hit by that saw blade… I think 2 beers is in order
The man who the saw missed, should have bought some lottery tickets!
So many Cervesa Crystal missed opportunities 🤦♂️
Cristal!
Trump could steal the gold toilet with the "I came in with this!" excuse!
Except his were only plated. And the guy who made them for him made out like a fat NYC rat.
April trials bring me smiles... yay! 😂❤