WHAT MAKES INFJS SO UNIQUELY CONFIDENT?
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- Опубліковано 2 сер 2024
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INFJ Life Coach Lesson: In today's discussion, we're diving into the topic of true INFJ confidence. There are two important aspects to consider. Firstly, it's about having confidence in yourself by consistently following through with your promises and showing up for yourself. This is a crucial component in building the life you truly desire. Secondly, we'll explore the dilemma between self-love and appearing to be a show-off. Many INFJs express their desire to share their potential and unique qualities but worry about being seen as boastful.
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What are some of your unique traits that make you confident in you and your abilities?
Survivability.
I see the invisable. But we all do.
Gratitude. The parent of all virtues in my experience.
I have always connected with people quite easily and I rarely care what anyone thinks of me. People have to earn my respect.
That would probably be my Girl Scout leadership training, my deep dive researching skills, having married a reporter, my life long interest in politics and spending the summer with my PhD brother in law while he was doing his field work on budworm populations. [It is math.] I learned a lot from him. And learning about Quality Control programs while getting a BS in Food Science from Cal Poly.
I would like to ask you a question. When I became a political activist, my ex decided I was crazy and forced me to go to a psychiatrist. She, behind my back, informed that him I was bi-polar and should be drugged.
I think she just has a bias against people like me. Her words and actions destroyed my health and my family life; telling my beloved hubby that I was a delusional liar, he divorced me. It was horrible. My question is, what protects people like me from people like her?
Is there anything I can do about it? I saw one UA-cam where the psychiatrist making the video joked about hating on and mistreating our personality type. I didn't think it was funny. I was the victim of that exact sort of 'professional' treatment. From my perspective it looks like a conspiracy to commit torture and they get away with it.
I am what I am. No lies, no bs, straight talk, and honesty. It's distrubing to those on BS.
The narcissists in my vicinity absolutely lose their shit when I'm just doing something that they don't think I should do. I can feel their hate-vibe staring into me when I'm just sitting and typing. They've come around distracting me and telling me how self-centered I am. But, I know when the narcissists near and far are trying this bullshit, I must be onto something they wish they had.
Those haters _do_ try to destroy.
Yes, haters try to destroy. I retired from teaching. One year a coworker gave one of my state tests with lots of disruptions. The other coworker was in on it! My scores did not decrease and their scores still didn't come close to mine. Soooo, out of the goodness of my heart (with my principal's permission) I bought medals for every student and surprised them on Award's Day/Graduation. The coworker's presented medals to their students for the subject taught. I stayed at the microphone and they presented medals to my student's. We were departmentalized.....meaning all of the students had the same teacher for a particular subject. The gym was PACKED for the ceremony. YEP, you guessed it. They were humiliated for everyone to know my scores were not only higher gains, but twice as many students walking across stage. UNDERESTIMATE ME again. That'll be fun!
Your videos hit every issue I've been struggling with. Confidence to not dim my light when I notice how I come off feels like I'm fighting for permission to be me from me.
Exactly, it’s almost humiliating
I think it’s more like we can feel how our light makes them feel and we feel sad (or some way) about it so we shrink…at least for me anyway…
But their fillings are their problem. It's not our responsibility
Alot of people I've met dislike me for my sophistication and maturity. I can tell by the looks on their faces when I express myself on certain topics. I avoid them; I don't need people with attitudes.
That's something I don't understand about the world and society, that people are so focused on themselves that they don't care about others. I watch the news and see wars, climate change, disasters and wonder how can people continue to live their lives when the world is in such pain?
Stop watching the news and lower energy, stay in love and kindness and spread joy everywhere you go
I had a simular reaction. Then I looked up why pot was illegal. I was really horrified by what I discovered, but not being a normal person I decided to do something about it. I became a political activist. The people focused on themselves are not the problem, the problem lies with the psychopaths in charge who are starting and fighting the wars. I came up with a plan to do something about them.
People have to continue to live their lives, what else can they do? I might have been a really impactful activist, but I failed miserably at being a good spouse and parent. They all ghosted me because dealing with the world's pain is way too much for any normal person to handle.
Personally, I think the place to start is with 9/11. I only discovered this site a few days ago, so I have no idea what the folks here think about 9/11, but I sure would like to know. Do you have any idea?
I basically taught myself to be confident, even in some areas where I didn't feel sure of myself. But it had to be done in my own learning curve with a lot of repetition. Some things were easier to learn to do confidently than others, but I did surprise myself at how much was possible.
I liked it when you mentioned the fact that people often are not thinking about us at all but rather their own problems. Knowing that has helped me through the years of teaching myself to be more confident. Learning to be confident in public speaking was a sweet surprise for me, as it didn't take nearly as long as I thought. Learning to be socially assertive took longer and there's still more improvement to be made, but fortunately it gets better every day.
In my experience it hasn't always been easy, but surprisingly enough, it's often been easier than I imagined it would be. You're right about you're being some discomfort, but it can be done.
You've made some super suggestions in this video.
Wow,public speaking,so glad for you that’s a real tough one and being socially assertive is also tough,that’s one I’ve had a hard time with for most of my INFJ life. Being assertive is something I’ve never learned but became,one day I just noticed I would immediately check people when they would show disrespect,it’s interesting how my chest would heat-up and I would feel this force of energy that’s equivalent to a mother bear protecting her cub.
I have loved Rudyard Kipling”s poem, IF. I wonder if it was because he was an INFJ, so I could relate to it. I memorized it at about 12 years old. It’s been a guide for me.
I've always loved that poem too.
I don’t want to be less so you can feel like more.
I am not going to lie… I am terrified of being the target of ppls jealousy and envy…
It’s become terrifying.
Me too. Some people are brutal. But, if you put them in their place, they back down because, deep down they are weak. Stay strong and happy.😊
@@tnt01 thank you! And I guess I am more referring to the undercover haters lol they are sooooo much harder to discern and do things strategically and calculated..
But you’re right! The Most High is far more strategic lol so I’ll be fine! 🥰❤️
They very much are cowardly too lol
@@zaylinstar8883 100%
I make mistakes openly, because I don't know everything and it encourages others to be real and ready for their own process of growth. That it's more embarrassing to defeat themselves before they try their hands at their goals. Mistakes are apart of growth, regardless of embarrassment. I learned that from being apart of sport's teams especially
My goal has always been to inspire people through my mistakes out loud, and to relate to them but they would point and laugh instead. So I inspired the people, who weren't afraid to try their hands at working towards their goals. You gotta know your audience
I've always known, that my mistakes out loud is what makes me authentic, relatable, and trustworthy
I love being wrong and getting corrected. It happens rarely that someone care enough about you, to tell me and convince me that I have a flaw in my understanding of something. And I never want to be wrong and I value truth so much. Some of my favourite memories is being corrected and have the gift of getting to adjust my view of reality.
But the key is convinced, most of the time I know what i am talking but, but sometimes you pick up a flawed understanding of something and then it is great to have that corrected by someone else.
I often tell new people I meet, when we have intense discussions about something. Please correct me if I am wrong and you know I am, I really like being wrong if you know better tell me why. And many times they look at me in absolute horror, because they themselves probably feel that is something horrible to experience. While I find it essential and very enjoyable.
I also reach out to people I know I did or said something incorrect to. To admit I was wrong. If I find it out in a reasonable time so I think they would even remember or care about it.
I'm already expressing myself strongly, I always have. It's just that I'm not perceiving myself in what I do. I do think it's more of a perception problem. I'm already doing everything I have the energy to do. Trying to force more out of myself hasn't worked for me in the past. Over time, that mindset is what holds me back. It reminds me of other videos you have about learning slowly and keeping things manageable. When I stick to that mindset, everything really flows and becomes pretty effortless.
I am an older INFJ...what can I say?85% of the conversations I encounter in my sparse social interaction...I disagree with strongly or miildly...WHAT TO DO....nothing...silence...walk away...(what do I care).I have confronted others and have remained invisible.Both are okay....but I am aware of the energy drain when “I” confront.Most types just knee-jerk conversation..out of anxiety,fear,etc.We all know that...the human condition..right.Allowing MYSELF TO SHINE?There are many ways to shine besides..extroverted opinionated social intercourse.
I'm wondering what conversations you are having. I find most of my conversations I agree with strongly or mildly. I must be talking about different stuff than you are or the people around you are really different from the people I encounter. Maybe your way to shine is rock polishing and has nothing to do with other people. There are a lot of different ways to 'shine'.
That's because nothing here makes sense. Everyone is trying to be something they're not. The formless believing it is a human(s) is a complete madness
Ehh this is a struggle.. it’s the fear of being arrogant for sure. Mainly bc of how arrogant ppl once treated me. How do you play this game in a world that is mainly about showing off or show and tell? It’s exhausting.
I am confident in God only. The one that is in me is greater than all in the world. My father is a king of kings Lord of Lords. My abilities were given to me through the Holy Spirit. I know I am nothing but a wilting flower without God. So I stand alone, I do not go with the flow of the world, I live for truths and wisdom not the silly things of the world. Deeper meaning into the spiritual realm is where my mind stays on. Plus figuring myself out on the way as to why God made me unique and different and what is the purpose for it that he wants me to use it for. I don't care too much for the world...the bible says if you like this world you are an enemy of God.
💯 🙌
Amen!❤
My observations says to me improving myself is in my power
One of your best, and the bar is high!
I'm just not happy about others not paying attention to me. How can they be so self centered? LOL
This is something i wrestle with often. I've always worried that if i ever behaved in a show off kind of way that id be perceived as arrogant, and have always backed away from showing my qualities for fear of that. Its hard to break that mental programming, but I'll give it a try at some point when the opportunity presents itself.
THANK YOU! Thank you for addressing the fear of becoming arrogant or a show off! I use to be super quiet as a kid and now as an adult and fresh out of a tough marriage, I’ve been stretching my wings. I started a UA-cam channel that I love and it’s my baby, but I heard people on social media tend to be self absorbed and narcissistic. I’ve been around narcissistic people before and I’d hate to become like that. It’s always been a major fear that if I gained confidence or embraced this artistic side of me too much I would be like that. But you’re right! A narcissist doesn’t worry about being a narcissist and being aware and afraid of being a show off or self absorbed means there’s a kind of self reflection that happens. While the idea of fully embracing it still makes me uncomfortable, this episode helped soothe those fears a LOT. Thank you so much!❤❤❤
Thank you🌹🙏
I am an arrogant now 🙋🏻♀️
The way you speak directly to my mind, and to my heart, wow, I'm loving it 🥰
I met you at the right time, I'm grateful for your videos 👐
Queen 👸🏻 #INFJ
One of many advice I got was not to deem my light. I was lucky enough to find your page. A year ago. I am better than before. Learning to embrace me. Thank you. I am stepping out. 🎉❤❤
Thank you so much for this video I really needed to hear every word that you said.
suppressing my natural reactions and emotions because I’ve been afraid that they come from an unhealthy place is what I’ve done for so long, being scared that my brain will twist things into something ugly, only to find out that I can trust myself so much more with how I take control over how things unfold.
Wow, I think I found out the biggest issue with myself. Trying to remain "humble" and not let go sometimes. Learning how to be proud of oneself without feeling bad about it is tough. Thanks for this video. I will revisit this whenever I feel I should remain small.
see craig malkin's book on echoism, healthy narcissm is good, im an infj too
Thanks!
I'm so glad to have found your channel. It helps me understand myself. I am allowed to shine, no matter what anyone else thinks about me 🌟 thank you.
It’s so true~ I see it because I am acutely aware of my own stuff. Thank you Wenzes… there’s no way around it, only through it. 🔥🎯💎🌈❤️📣🚀🗝️
Wenze's good episode thank you Wenze's.Jerome❤❤❤
@Wenzes - i am feeling so many emotions while watching this video. I think i have been stuck most of my life because of those fears. I am going through a transformation journey right now (after 14 years of narcissistic abuse) and your videos are fuel for my growth. Love you!
Ditto!
Hi you have no idea how what you are saying is helping me 🙏. I feel understood at the core.
انت رائعة تشعرينني بالحماس شكراااا
Yeah, i too often still dim my light😕 i know that i could Talk about the Most subjects at least a Bit and have some language skills that Others dont poses. I guess that to BE Seen AS arogant IS more in my subconciouse mind. Just remembered that in my adult Life i was after a Situation i might really was a Bit arrogant and Standing Up For my self, Got labeled AS arrogant. That alone wouldnt have been that Bad, but i Got compared to my aunt...in Sense of that i would BE AS arrogant AS my aunt. That was Said AS If this was a Bad Thing AS WE werent that Close to my aunt. So arrogant Got a negative Notation For me 🤔😞 maybe that IS a sign that i should Work ON accepting also my arrogant Side so i can step into the sensations and Feelings and consequences 😊
Thank you For the video and to encourage US to BE more authentic and Show or skills/Potential and Feelings more😎
I believe it's just a matter of learning to be humble.
I guess you are right, we can lose confidence in ourselves if we do not meet the promises we made to ourselves.
My girlfriend is convinced that i'm from another planet..
HI, when I press on you avatar my UA-cam app does not show your account. I have only encountered this a few times in UA-cam before. Is that some kind of privacy settings you have on you account? Or is it maybe just a bug.
I ask because if there is such a privacy setting, I might like to use it.
But I have never seen such a toggle anywhere. And it seems very rare either the bug or the function.
We are so confident…cuz we know that…NO ONE’S ….opinions matter…we don’t care for validation…from people….we don’t really give a flock …about anyone’s…opinion of me
Can you do the vedio on infj and giftedness relation
Bro you know
Oh my...am a lead singer in a rock band and have been given sooo many compliments but I just cant bring myself to promote it.
I don't feel very confident in most things...😕
I do agree with being attracted to authenticity, though. It's the main reason I love one of my coworkers so much. She doesn't hide anything.
Wenzes when we made all of you've told so far, will we be really an infj? In which aspects?
I think a lot of infjs are humble and echoists, healthy narcissm is good, see dr craig malkin- from an infj
Does that mean I have to become a control freak?as an INFJ I don't deem my light anymore
you had a soft voice when you started and now you don't. How did you manage to change that?
I do care and I make mistakes who cares?
Mabey U help people in actions without just bla bla blaaaaa
Only fools are so confident.
All self - improvement sh---t promote this idea as the secret to succeed in life.
All great people were great believers" and not some so confident idiots.
thief
????
Yeah, i too often still dim my light😕 i know that i could Talk about the Most subjects at least a Bit and have some language skills that Others dont poses. I guess that to BE Seen AS arogant IS more in my subconciouse mind. Just remembered that in my adult Life i was after a Situation i might really was a Bit arrogant and Standing Up For my self, Got labeled AS arrogant. That alone wouldnt have been that Bad, but i Got compared to my aunt...in Sense of that i would BE AS arrogant AS my aunt. That was Said AS If this was a Bad Thing AS WE werent that Close to my aunt. So arrogant Got a negative Notation For me 🤔😞 maybe that IS a sign that i should Work ON accepting also my arrogant Side so i can step into the sensations and Feelings and consequences 😊
Thank you For the video and to encourage US to BE more authentic and Show or skills/Potential and Feelings more😎