High Quality Xit Posts | Compilation
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- Опубліковано 15 вер 2024
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17:36 This is doubly funny when you remember that, in truth, shrimp is the *opposite* of a new sin. It *used to be a sin* and then *stopped being one.* Yes, actually.
6 DOLLAR SRIMP SPECIAL
@@brickpuncher1429 Everywhere I go I'm reminded of *him...*
Its not so shrimple :((
@@samsmith9764 your wrong, it is as shrimple as that :)
I'm sorry can you please elaborate on this?
I'm CRYING at "Fucktangular" and I think we have a new king of England 😭💀
Theres a shit ton of bots again, dont click on them or answer them, just report.
@@samikaislasalo3947 looks like it worked cause rn there are only 4 comments and none seem to be bots.
*@lefishe5845 That sounds like something a bot would say to avoid suspicion of being a bot...*
@FederalBulgeInvestigator I'm a real boy, I promise :
*@lefishe5845 I thought you were a fish.... I don't know what to believe anymore...*
@FederalBulgeInvestigator oh no, I've been found out!
0:26 At least they did correctly list all the continents. Low bar, but ya gotta start somewhere
the bar is in hell rn
@@Vitrivius YES 🤣
That fucktangular steak is what we cooks/chefs would consider "Manmade horror within human comprehension".
@@brickpuncher1429 i refuse to believe there was any ANY seasonin on it let alone salt and i aint even a cook ✋️😭
Glad we all remember our punnet squares.
Punnett squares are cool and all but.. pedigrees my beloved..
That mozzarella boba one... foul. Utterly horrendous
Considering learning Latin so I can walk into Starbucks and have them understand what I’m asking for.
LATINVS•IN•STARBUCKES•NON•LOQVANTVR
Ma parlano Italiano.
@@yjlom K cool
22:53 i love how he did it wrong a 2nd time
6:58 markiplier??? what are you doing in my falafel????
Okay, I got a story just like the very first post.
I worked for Shoprite (big chain grocery store in NY/NJ area) as a janitor. In the aisles we keep extra product on the very top shelves which you need a ladder or large steps to get up to them safely. I was in the aisle with the pasta and sauce when two of the shelf stockers come up and start reaching for some of the pasta sauce bottles. I tell them to go grab a ladder to grab them because they were going to make a mess and I was going to rip them a new one if they made a mess in front of me (had seniority and was good friends with the manager). One of them goes "oh, come on, don't you trust-?" and immediately drops three jars. One bounces off my leg and goes rolling away, the second bounces off his leg and rolls away, and the third lands on the floor between us, shattering instantly. He looks down at the broken jar, looks up at me, and I tell in the coldest, calmest voice I could that no, I didn't trust him, and that he needs to now needs to stand there and keep customers from walking through the sauce until I get back with the proper supplies. When I get back the manager is there asking what happened and I interrupt the guy's story of "I don't really know" and tell the manager exactly what happened, who proceeded to tear the guy a new one for me a wrote him up for safety violation.
Customers aren't the only ass-hats you have to deal with in retail.
Also, that one about a minotaur and a mermaid having a kid isn't an anime (yet) but there IS a comic by petfoolery about it. Fun punchline.
5:55 As a lover of boba tea and Italian cuisine, this hurts me in so many ways ;-;
10:58 Again, as a lover of both Lunchables and Italian cuisine, THIS HURTS ME IN *SO* MANY WAYS 😭
The post in the thumbnail is just.....too relatable
As someone who sucks at making small choices in my day to day life especially when there’s too many options, saaaaaaame
@@FourByteBurger "what do you want to eat from-"
Aaaand my grey matter has already painted the ceiling
Shrimp is technically a sin. Kosher law, guys, shrimp is trefah, it's right there.
cheeseburgers too
0:36 To be fair
Length and understanding determine expertise.
Mostly understanding.
So some validity there.
3:00 Somewhere is a comic about this. And the punchline was their sibling got the other halves
7:56 I mean he technically didn't say he didn't hate his dad. Maybe he was throwing shade
"Just because someone has studied the subject doesn't mean they're [sic] experts"
..This is true, though. To be an expert you have to, y'know, _capitalise_ on said studying.
If you flunk out like your Stereotypical College Handegg Player, you're not an expoert despite having studied it.
im absolutely the "weird guy" reading kids books in the library
just dont randomly talk to kids and its fine smh😂
I’d love a trophy that says “you won capitalism”
It has to be big and gaudy too, and that shade of gold thats so bright it looks fake
12:00 Celestia: WHO'S HURTING MY SISTER WITH THIS PROPAGANDA!?
"Xit Posts" is an amzing phrasing. we should keep this.
It's worst when you work at a FedEx warehouse at an airline with a Flat Earther..... When you can't afford to prove them wrong.
10:34 IDK, some adult books are about a dragon who is also a sponge getting in a fight with a dragon drug cartel.
And by "some adult books", I mean *Silver, Sand, and Silken Wings*.
Edit: Add close quote.
I... Damn, I need to read this
@@Lunam_D._Roger It's a great book! I highly recommend it!
@@Lunam_D._Roger I second this recommendation! And the ebook is pretty cheap on Amazon
@@Lunam_D._Roger you do need to read this indeed! Can confirm, excellent book
@@Lunam_D._Roger If it interests you, go for it; you won't regret it. It's well written and highly imaginative.
1:41 ah yes Jason waterfalls, my favorite Percy Jackson character
These 23:01 truly felt like 2 hours
1:39 atnalta is my favorite word
Lord, there's dumb, then there's people who fight intelligence with a skillet
“Teacher want class to hand in homework. Today class will learn new government approved grammar, failure to comply will result in [redacted].”
2:07 I mean... I feel like California, as well as Texas and Florida... are all states that are just distinct enough to be considered another country. Texas and Florida, especially.
"name a show better than the b-"
FIREFLY RAHHHHHH
3:21 i can't believe shadow the "hedgehog" would say such a thing
"Neurodivergent love languages are so fun
Yes I will listen to you yap for hours on end about your niche interest and yes I will get invested in it"
Okay I'm not at all the kind of neurodivergent this post is talking about (Diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder) but I would absolutely love this so much, like I need this
21:05 EPIC PROPERTIONS REF
I miss the arcade carpet background
I love the title, I've been learning Portuguese and in it x is pronounces either as s or sh, in my experience more often as sh
I mean it's true that someone might have studied a subject but not to an expert level. I studied chemistry but I don't remember f-all about it because I didn't study it beyond A-level (sort of like taking a minor in it).
I feel like I’m being flashbanged by words every two seconds if I get distracted. It’s fantastic
4:38 you could even say that fire is _lit_
15:04
If I saw that I would just piss my pants.
There was a Tales from the Crypt episode about the lack of non-Earthling winners. It had a sleazy alien pageant promoter in it that kept pronouncing Earth as Ear-th and reminded me of a cross between Eugene Levy and Daffy Duck.
10:00 HOLY SHIT KICKTHEPJ
7:38 scouts reading this post: 😰😰😰😰
I'd be happy with a dog park named X Park if it meant the rest of Musk's money went somewhere nice tbh, you discarded the idea too soon.
Yeah, especially since you then will know where most of the most annoying dog owners will be and can easily avoid it
Had an ex that genuinely would get upset if I said a quarter til/past because a quarter is 25 cents... They're real... THEY EXIST
16:28
I know that place.. I grew up there... that soo cool to see it again
I thought that steak was that little rubber bits you find at like, playgrounds
11:34 you know it’s the 2020’s when I can’t tell if this is a satire article or not
20:12 being told he is done before continuing. Power move.
3:19 as a splatoon player, I’m laughing maniacally
I had to stop only a minute and a half in because my faith in humanity was rapidly plummeting
I actively shuddered at 11:02
15:11 the SCARIEST jumpscare
Wait. America gets sauce with their lunchables?
THIS is how I learned the Jackpot situation got resolved?
We shpuld firce PM Seymour to “Bleh bleh bleh” the entire living tombstone fnaf song
14:27 That isn’t steak, those are fucking wood chips
7:32 IS THAT FUCKING SPAZMATIC BANANA!?!?
11:24 befriend the rat, and then send the rat somewhere else.
Don't drown them you cruel bastard ✌❤🐀
Edit: I love how rats and opossums are becoming main stream
but I worry that the wrong people will think they want to own either only to be left with heart break
Thankfully it is harder to legally own an opossum.
1:24 Ah yes, my favorite song from the Hades soundtrack, Good Writtens
this music makes me feel like a goofy detective in a kids cartoon show
Bible black for when you don't know what your preference is. Learned a lot about my self after that mistake.
5:47 First conservative to comprehend political satire
6:14 I was gonna say he's too problematic but then I remembered Bill.
11:24 Isn't that the plot of Mousehunt?
12:08 Yes this is a fun joke but also please don't buy the Sun. All British tabloids are bad, but not many are slander-over-100-socially-murdered-people bad.
7:20
YES
YES
YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYSDYYEYEYEYSYEYESYEYSWYSYEYSYSYSYS ONGGG
the "why is it a quarter when its 15 minutes" comes from an analog clock.
when i was in elementary school i truly did believe that 911 the emergency number was because of 9/11 😂
It’s not????
To be fair to that "Studying a subject DOESN'T make you an expert" post, some people have spent a lot of time studying a subject, and they're still REALLY bad at it.
I bet there are antivaxxers who have read mountains of stuff on why vaccines are bad. I still wouldn't call them an expert on vaccines.
Reading biased articles and "papers" isn't studying tho, that's just reading
5:18 damn the music heard "hold on" and actually did
The start has some CLASSICS.
Oh what the hell I'm crazy early
11:41 literally the deep
Title should've been "High Quality Chip Posts"
Is that the fabled "NA education"?
It came from xitter
okay but sly cooper is too good to miss out on
there's ghosts in my blood and i'm too poor for cocaine
not turning off my adblocker for this but im still here in spirit
I understand why they mentioned but I do feel like "Flat earther on an airline" is significantly less dumb than "anti-vax microbiologist."
Oh yes i love Atnalta (Atlanta backwards).
It took me a moment to realize this was a compilation
Here me out, Miss Universe, but its the gals from Cosmic Wonders. Truly representation from across the universe. (Plus pretty dresses go Weeeeeeee!)
0:56 Gravity Falls
Shrimp is not a new sin, it's in leviticus, although I'd like to try whatever a "flying insect with 4 legs" is
0:53 oh, I can name a few.
TMNT
Transformers Prime
Phineas and Ferb
Gravity falls
Samurai Jack
Transformers Armada
The Transformers (Pre-1986 film)
And many more.
1:14 I honestly thought so too cause it can't be a coincidence right? (it was in fact a coincidence)
Only 30 seconds in, and I have to click off because my brain can’t comprehend this much stupidity
22:50
YAU
It's a good thing I play so many RPGs because I need some healing potions for all this psychic damage
My god I can feel my braincells dying off one by one. Thank god I’m not on twitter.
16:56
Time to do what the black dude with lightning told me to do I guess
1:16 I swear the amount of conspiracy theories about 9/11 would've been way less if it wasnt because of this coincidence. people really took that and ran with it
I'm from Norway and that's not how health care is supposed to work. You pay each month so that when something happens, you pay many 10 dollars on your way out.
What you are talking about sounds more like insurance than anything else.
No, the way healthcare is supposed to work is that you pay taxes once a year and then pay nothing when something happens.
@Mirality that's what I'm saying. The 10 dollars aren't for the operations it's a service fee
Tattoos also show you’re willing to make long term commitments even if it will be embarrassing to show later and makes you wanna peel your skin off
Which if that isn’t a good descriptor of a dead end job I don’t know what is
1:09 for once being dumb brings up a good question about the measurements of time; why the fuck is it entirely based on like... i guess itd be base 60? idk if bases count the same as computers where 0 is also a number in sequential order
Some old civilisation counted weird I think I can’t remember
How much did this hurt to read?
Im afraid to ask but, 4:40 what is the anime?
@@IsMgb45 did a little googling and apparently it’s Bible Black
@@vee1267 I KNEW IT
5:20 because then Cyana would never lose, so to make competition fair, its only beings from earth.
7:29 the banana moth strieks agian
@@vhproductions :3
1:05 How can a game of Hand-Egg last for over 3 hours if it contains 4 quarters of 15 minutes?
Advertising!
I think it's horrible, frankly, that the winner of the Miss Universe is always human. They wont even review the applicants of other primates or mammals. Imagine seeing a blue whale devour 20000 krill as part of the talent category, or a beaver making an entire split-level house. Why are we so close-minded