Doug we are first time parents with an almost 1 year old. And out of desperation to get sleep, my wife decided to co-sleep straight from the start, and they've been doing that ever since. I told her this is going to be bad if we continue this. He is very attached during bed time. When he wakes up he immediately feels for her. I want to implement what you said about training them early, letting them know things like when it is bed/crib time. But I'm afraid if we just did it out of nowhere after a year of co-sleeping, he is not just going to "cry it out", but cry uncontrollably, and be almost traumatized. Do you have any tips?
Obviously I’m not Doug, but I am a Christian who has had a few children. Tough situation but sometimes your behind enemy lines and you have to shoot your way out...first make sure your wife is in complete agreement with, by sound godly convincing, and you both drop the baby in the crib, with full tummy and clean diaper in jammy clothes, and go to your room and do something or listen to something so your not hearing little JR. Put him to bed the same way every night, during the day take him to his crib for naps, call it his crib/bed/nite nite or something. Gotta be consistent, a week after the struggle will hopefully be a thing of the past.
I would like to point out that bedsharing is biologically normal. The extreme push for independent infants is a very western civilization centric concept and is not rooted in normal infant behavior or infant sleep. If the arrangement works for your family there is no need to change it. If it does not, there are much more gentle ways to go about setting up different sleep arrangements and routines. While we are born with a sin nature, infants are not born with the pre-frontal cortex abilities to manipulate their parents. You can begin setting clear boundries in a way that is respectful and kind to the "frame" or current emotional, physical, mental development of your child.
Doug we are first time parents with an almost 1 year old. And out of desperation to get sleep, my wife decided to co-sleep straight from the start, and they've been doing that ever since. I told her this is going to be bad if we continue this. He is very attached during bed time. When he wakes up he immediately feels for her. I want to implement what you said about training them early, letting them know things like when it is bed/crib time. But I'm afraid if we just did it out of nowhere after a year of co-sleeping, he is not just going to "cry it out", but cry uncontrollably, and be almost traumatized. Do you have any tips?
Obviously I’m not Doug, but I am a Christian who has had a few children. Tough situation but sometimes your behind enemy lines and you have to shoot your way out...first make sure your wife is in complete agreement with, by sound godly convincing, and you both drop the baby in the crib, with full tummy and clean diaper in jammy clothes, and go to your room and do something or listen to something so your not hearing little JR. Put him to bed the same way every night, during the day take him to his crib for naps, call it his crib/bed/nite nite or something. Gotta be consistent, a week after the struggle will hopefully be a thing of the past.
I would like to point out that bedsharing is biologically normal. The extreme push for independent infants is a very western civilization centric concept and is not rooted in normal infant behavior or infant sleep. If the arrangement works for your family there is no need to change it. If it does not, there are much more gentle ways to go about setting up different sleep arrangements and routines. While we are born with a sin nature, infants are not born with the pre-frontal cortex abilities to manipulate their parents. You can begin setting clear boundries in a way that is respectful and kind to the "frame" or current emotional, physical, mental development of your child.