Joining a CULT as a child (Leah tells her story)
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- Опубліковано 17 вер 2024
- I know this video is a little different than you all are used to...because Leah is not from the order but I think it is soooo fascinating to hear how similar our beliefs were and how our childhoods compare.
Plus I wanted you all to get the chance to meet this strong lady!!!🙌
I love this woman!❤️
Follow her UA-cam she has allot of videos that explain the AUB and her background in more depth.
/ @thetelestialtea
Also we did a video together on her channel a couple years back discussing the differences between our cults we grew up in.👇
• ALLREDS VS KINGSTONS f...
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Also if you are someone trying to leave a polygamous cult you can contact the HOH hotline👇
801-548-3492
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MY STORY
• The day I left The Ord...
HOW I SURVIVED
• How I survived leaving...
I'm not from a cult. But I am from an abusive family. My parents wouldn't let me listen to Madonna's music because she was evil. But this girl on the school bus would play "Material Girl" over and over and over all the way to and from school every single day. I loved it. (I was around 8 years old.) I was doing yard work and there was a tree directly behind where I was working. I was absent-mindedly singing "Material Girl". I felt my father walk up behind me and I was instantly terrified because that was never good. I realized what I had been singing and wondered for a minute if he'd heard me. Then, I heard a limb break off the tree, and I knew he had. The next few minutes are a blur, I sorta left my body. I then suddenly became simultaneously conscious of the blood running down my legs and what he'd been yelling all this time. He was asking where I heard that song. So I told him. He dragged me in the house by my hair and called the girl's mother and the bus driver and the school. I was so embarrassed. If he had just beat me, I probably wouldn't even remember. That was normal in my world. But he called people and in that girl's mind, it was my fault she couldn't listen to music on the bus anymore. Anyway, for my 18th birthday, I spent every penny of the birthday money he gave me on Madonna albums starting with that one.
Crazy weird that the public school didn't see that a girl was beaten so badly she had blood running down her legs. Also weird that they let you go to public school with such strict beliefs about morality.
I was raised into a not technically abusive family I was never hit or verbally abused . My grandma was super religious spike in tongues, holy water all the shit. But I was never allowed to go out on Halloween bc it’s evil . Wasn’t allowed to do yoga in 1st grade bc it was “new age” and evil. So embarrassing sitting in the room while other kids did yoga. Secular music wasn’t allowed . She passed from cancer when I was 9. After that I went crazy because I was so shelter
Sorry you went through that. I was a madona fan as a kid. I actually found a vhs tape of the like a virgin tour. It had been in my neighbors trash and I picked it up. I instantly fell in love with her. I would watch this everyday. I wanted to dress like her. This was in the 90’s so this tour was already a few years old. I still love Madona.
So happy to see you girls happy and love hearing everything you're willing to share. Goodluck gorgeousness
Awwwww thankyou 😍
My heart aches for the friend your family was going to adopt before moving :( Trauma all around for all of the children. I’m so sorry. Were you ever able to reconnect?
I definitely understand faking something for your religion. When I was young we were Pentecostal and you needed to speak in tongues to receive the Holy Ghost, and you had to have the Holy Ghost to go to Heaven.
I was 7 years old, at Bible camp, with 2 adults praying over me fervently. They told me to say my abc’s really fast over and over and it would help. I did, and eventually they threw my hands in the air and said I’d spoken in tongues and gotten the Holy Ghost.
I knew I just said the abc’s but I didn’t tell a soul. I spent years trying to speak in tongues so I could really go to Heaven.
That's awful!!! Something similar happened to me. Just a mainstream Christian now.
So sorry that happened to you and more so that you felt pressured to force it. Try not to hold that against them. They really wanted that for you but you weren’t ready yet. It doesn’t mean you’re worth less or not of the Lord. Speaking in tongues is a wonderful gift available for everyone 😊
That’s so sad. I was raised Pentecostal and I never broke out in tongues when they laid hands on me to receive the gift of tongues. Then it happened when I was 20 years old in my college apt. I was praying by myself. The gift of tongues is not for show.
This is so sad . Why don’t these religious folks realize it is a cult , just because there isn’t child Marriage or plural wives doesn’t mean it isn’t . I’m so glad I broke free from religion. Got at least 15 years I prayed that I wouldn’t go to hell for questioning the word. I’ll never raise my kids in fear of something like this. I didn’t believe ever but I was so afraid of not believing and burning in hell
@@midlifemama8420 dude what? Absolutely hold it against them. Child abuse isn’t ok because they thought they were right
I just feel so bad for Leah and everyone of you who has been through this stuff----- I wish I could give you a big hug!
It is so great to see Leah ❤️ she stopped posting a long time ago, so I’d wondered what she was up too.
Thank you for this ❣️
It happens, You’re awesome Leah ❤️
I can’t wait for part 2 !
@@thetelestialtea - did your whole family get out, or only you and your dad?
Living for these videos 😂 expose em girl, pick right up where y’all left off on the show. I think it’s your life’s mission to help others help themselves & tell the world their stories & you do it awesomely 🖤💜🖤💜
I love watching ur videos and watching all ur stories. I remember watching Leah story on the show so happy see her doing much better.
Leah is so authentically herself
I just watched Leah’s episode not to long ago . It’s so great to see her now and hear all of these stories. So happy she’s doing good ! Thank you girls for being so open and sharing with us all of these things ! Love y’all 💓
I love that Leah has come into her own style. 💖
I would love to see you interview a woman that has left the FLDS!!!! I love learning about everything and I love your videos!
you can look up interviews with Rachel Jeffs. She is Warren Jeffs daughter and wrote a book awhile back. She is so brave and did interviews on national TV morning shows.
@@erinbrown6962 it's really sad that people say she's doing it for attention and she's lying. I think she's so brave!
Much love to you amazing ladies!! ❤❤❤❤❤
Walking out and starting from scratch takes courage. I admire you guys for that. Is there a chance of bringing jessica back? Also, what is going to happen to the show? Will you continue to film or is that over and done?
Awesome as always. I know you are on the outside, but i definitely appreciate your being willing to share with us. Much love to all of you 🙏❤
It is so interesting hearing Leah's perspective coming into a cult as a child. Your interviews are fantastic Amanda
Thank you so much for all your videos! Keep speaking your truths and telling your stories!
You are so strong girl! 💕
So glad to see all of you out and living your best life🤍
Always love and support from me! Love these videos!
That was a great beginning to leah story I cant wait to move. Its always nice to see your videos.
its so cool to see updates on the girls that you saved!!!!
I really like when you sort of zoom in on your face/expression with a thought - it's so, so accurate for how we begin to realize "not normal" things coming out of a cult. Like with the one about realizing your mom was the exact same - it's like you never think about it until you're thinking about it concerning someone *else*. It's so, so weird and such a mind bender to begin applying those things to yourself.
I was also raised in a cult (not LDS or FLDS related) and I just relate to a lot of the process and thoughts and feelings.
I really enjoyed watching the episodes with Leah in them. I'm glad she is doing well now, after all the stuff she's gone thru since she's been out.
Do you find that doing the interviews help with your healing, I noticed you note your triggers I hope it’s healing. You are definitely a strong person 💪
Love your content! Happy you guys are living a better life.
💗❤️💕
Damn to watch your eyes glaze over when she was talking about the blessing.. you’re so honest.
I admire the strength you bring to light on your channel. Sending love and prayers to you and any other wandering souls ready to love freely
Wow! I can not stop watching your stories! Sending so much love to all of you ❤️❤️❤️
This honestly reminds me of Catholicism. Like a lot of the things u where saying I was taught in the Catholic Church. And the chanting things at the same time.
What a great video. Leah is awesome. Glad you guys did a video together again. So when are you doing another video with Allison? Kinda was expecting this video to be with her but I’m glad it was with Leah.
So glad to see Leah doing so well. I always wondered how she was doing after her Escaping Polygamy episode..
So happy your remaining consistent with your content 💜 I’m gonna share your videos with my ex pastor friend 🤷🏼♀️🖤🤪 you deserve far more subscribers than you have & y’all maybe able to collaborate on the heavy cult religion in your area because you & your family know better than most.
I've been friends with Leah's dad for a long time, even before he left the Group. Your fam has been through SO much, Leah. Love from Wisconsin!
😮 wow. I've been watching LOADS of videos from you and Escaping Polygamy and a lot of similar stuff for days (cuz I'm on sick leave being super pukey cuz I'm pregnant (I'm 36 and this is my first, so how's that for bucking the trend?), and this topic is a fantastic distraction), and this video resonated sooo much with me. I grew up and am still actively LDS, so I am imagining living Leah's experience, having had the same background, an just, wow, that would have felt sooooo wrong and so creepily familiar yet completely foreign. And I was super sensitive at the age her parents took her into AUB. No wonder she was in a fuzz for a while. I would have felt as though I had woken up in a nightmare I couldn't escape - weirdly familiar but so not right. Even just the move. So traumatic. I'm not from Utah either. I would not have been on board.
Thank you for finding Leah and sharing her story. It makes you so keenly aware of the kind of impact parents can have on the future trajectory of all aspects of a child's life, even their relationship with faith.
I didn't know about AUB - I felt like hearing about the Order and FLDS seemed very familiar but WHOA, AUB's like, dang, is someone there still attending LDS, cuz wow.
Anyway, you are all so brave and strong and beautiful for the choices you've made and reliving your trauma a bit for others to see and learn from, which is very empowering.
And I laughed a lot at the story of the Salt Lake Temple turning grey. Air-tight! 😂
So much love to you!
Love you girls and sending you love and positive vibes
Thank you! 🙌 💗❤️💕
Great to see you and Leah together & that you still keep in touch with eachother
Thank you for telling these stories ❤
Can't wait for part 2! You should major in communications or public relations;! ❤️❤️
It's funny how Leah said she had to make a fake testimony because as a kid in Catholic school we always had to go to confession. And I would confess to the father average children sins (ex. I was disrespectful to my grandmom, I talked back to my teacher etc) but it was like he wouldnt be satisfied with those sins and would keep pressuring me to confess more, so I started making things up. I remember being in 4th grade telling fibs in confession like "I choked a kid til they passed out" and " I did drugs with older kids" lol it was all lies
Always enjoy watching your videos! Thanks so much for sharing your experiences. You guys have done well for yourselves and it’s very inspiring.
I would like to just add for the LDS church the patriarchal blessings have specific things for different people. But and of course there are things that everyone will have. Love the video guys!
I LOVE ❤ Yr Outros !! Lovely music & Amazing Photos! 💖💖
Love your videos!
This is why it's SO important to know what the scriptures say about polygamy, and that Joseph not only wasn't a polygamist, but he was actively fighting against it until he was murdered, possibly over this issue imho.
There was a time when I was lds that I was looking into these groups, because the lds church had "gone astray" in my mind for giving in to the US government. Problem is, I didn't go back far enough. Once you learn that Brigham was an impostor it all fits together and makes sense. Then the scales can from your eyes and you can see! No mental gymnastics necessary.
Interesting that the Brown family from the show Sister Wives are from the AUB. Christine, one of the wives who left the faith and her previous husband, her maiden name is Allred and her grandfather was the former prophet of the AUB. Fun fact lol.
So, while watching you ladies talk a lot of what Leah is saying reminds me of being in the lds church. I am inactive in the lds church and have been for awhile. Getting married in the temple and going through it before getting married was so scary. There are so many things I don’t agree with. For some reason I never had a testimony and just pretended I did. Thanks for sharing your stories.
I might be reading too much into this but do you think Sigmund Freuds teachings on dream analysis had any influence on the order? I know you're taught the order began in 1935 which would've been right around the time Freuds teachings on dream analysis would be popular. Wondering did this have any play into the belief that your husband/wife will appear in a dream to you? like i said im probably reading too much into this but would love to hear your thoughts Amanda and other peoples too!
That is a very interesting concept. I absolutely loved learning about Freud's research in my psychology class last year. The leader Paul did take some classes in psychology so I am sure he used what he learned to manipulate the young minds in the order...but I wonder how much of it is what he learned and what he believes to be true....honestly sometimes I think the leaders of these cults are all atheists who are master manipulators.... Lol or just HUGE narcissists
@@TheAmandaRaeGrant probably all of the above!
They were into dreams long before that. Look up Joseph in in Bible. He interpreted dreams.
I normally save your videos so I can watch them while I’m working. But lol hey leah ? Love the name 😂🥺
I love you and Jess. Really inspiring
You girls are so sweet and brave ❤️🤗
Amanda, you should do a video of your sister Kami (if she's comfortable). I would be interested to know how she escaped since she was married in the group.
QUESTION!!! I've been watching reruns of the show and was wondering who "the insider" was! I thought at first it was one of you for the interviews, but didn't know if that was a real person or something they added for the show
The insider is still a member of the order....so their identity needs to stay private until hopefully they leave some day 🤞
@@TheAmandaRaeGrant I have always wondered the same thing! Wow their still in, I hope for their safety, happiness and one day when they're ready, their freedom .
Really enjoying your channel Amanda. And if there is a book in your future-possible title- "Anything but North!"
I love this!!!
Love all Amanda's videos. Does anyone know the name of the song she plays in the videos? I really like it
It’s Odesza How Did I Get Here. I love it too!
@@alissat.4363 Thank you so much!
Gah I want part two now!!!!
you should do a podcast and interview ex cult members.
Check our Survivors
Hey girl hope you are doing great
Growing up in the LDS church since I was born, I was thrust into the church and remember always never wanting to go. But it did strengthen my relationship with God as an adult now that I look back I am so grateful for the gospel and having that strong foundation in my life because my mother’s family are all deep in the church and built and converted many people of our race which we are the tongan community in California anyways I am not a active member anymore but I am trying to be active but I also have read the Book of Mormon several times and have felt the spirit and I knew that this is the true church but I’m still on my journey and thank God for his guidance because I’ve lived a very crazy life and many times I was suppose to die but my mother is an Angel and always writes all her children in the book at the temple. Every weekend and she always kept us in her prayer even though none of us kids followed her into the teaching of the church but we all respect the church I just really hated the people but I agreed with the scriptures only some were concerning but I’ve also read the Bible several times and it all makes perfect sense because it connects and it’s just crazy to watch you guys talk about growing up in the old ways of our church and I remember waking up every morning of my high school days and going to seminary at 5 get there at 6 am and do scripture studies for two hrs then school I was always annoyed but top of the class we even had seminary bowl one a year and our youth won every year we went. And I loved the summer camps in the hills up in the mountain at the church camps where our pioneers first landed in the church. We were so bad but went to church because our parents were strict lol love you girls and god bless. Also because of the morals instilled in me from the gospel I didn’t lose my v card until I was 21 when all my friends lost theirs at 11 lol so I was proud about that but I gave because I wanted to be like everyone which it isn’t worth it so save yourselves until marriage I wish I did lol
Your friends lost their "v" at age 11? 😲 Something very wrong about that, do they realize they were abused?
@@kristyspencer1667 yeah that was kind of like the "it" thing to do and it was all the girls not just my race. I felt left out so I would constantly have to lie to kick it haha not so sure why I was embarrassed but I'm proud I never fell victim to the boys running around school kissing and touch girls God knows in what ways. I just knew what was happening and a lot of the girls at church and school were boy crazy. I was friends with everybody and especially the boys and some of my friends resented me for that but the boys I saw them more like brothers never even thought to do those things with them but I would lie to them that I had a bf, if they would ask me out lol I was such a nerd lol and the girls were just more mature for their age And issues at home you never know anyways I am so lucky my mom was always there for me and never let us out of her sight. Have a great weekend and be safe and healthy always!
Christianity is evil. It destroys cultures. Diversity is beautiful
I support everything that Escaping Polygamy stands for. I like watching all your social media and UA-cam channels. When is escaping polygamy coming back #standuptoabuse #ihaveavoice #escapingpolygamy #bringbackescapingpolygamy
In the older videos they did together, Amanda has black hair and is kinda all gothed out and Leah had blonde hair. Here, it's reversed. Just thought that was kinda interesting. :)
What is the name of the song that you start your videos out with? I love it!
Would love to see more videos and update on helping families escape
I remember watching an episode of sister wives and they showed them praying. The family was all facing the same direction. I remember wondering why they did that.
I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and we do NOT face any particular direction when praying.
my parents were 20 years apart and my grandparents were 31 years apart yet neither were into poly, yet my dad was raised LDS. my dad was a terrible Mormon, he smoked and was an alcoholic for 40 years. but he did tithe all his life. my grandfather just liked younger woman because he was catholic and his wife was Jewish. so i kinda grew up in a weird situation with a Catholic mother and grandpa, a Mormon father and a Jewish grandma. to say that ive seen it all is true. i grew up celebrating everything from Pass Over, Easter, and Pioneer day just to make everyone happy.. Needless to say i refuse to pick a religion, im happy just being spiritual. my mother has always been the only one to not pressure me to choose, all she ever said is to never join a cult.
Leah, what ended up happening with your dad and his second wife? You mentioned that she got pregnant right as he left. How did your dad handle that? Is he allowed to have contact with the child?
Edit: Also, no pressure to answer. If it’s something you’d rather not talk about it, I totally respect that!
Wait so is it a requirement in y’all’s different groups that you be baptized on your birthday?
When is season 5 coming to TV?? I love you guys so much!
The aub is shockingly similar to the lds church. Makes me wonder why we dont consider the lds church a cult. Well, I do, and I grew up in it.
Many people outside of it DO think it is a cult.
Currently active LDS and I think that it can be a cult and is for many - it all depends on how much control you allow the culture/religion to have over you. Some people do become entrenched in it and are convinced that they must strictly obey everything ever said by a church leader, and other people do their own thing and roll their eyes at that crowd. In recent years I have noticed it become much more divided along those lines. Most of the LDS millennials that I know would be called "ProgMos" (essentially Progressive Christianity with the Book of Mormon thrown in). But on the other side of the coin we have far right conservative traditionalists.
The more LDS (or former LDS) I meet, the more I realize there are two versions of the same religion coexisting in the same space, and the lived experiences of two people in the church can be very different. When I talk about the church with exmos, often the religion they describe is unfamiliar to me. We just had completely different approaches to the same thing. It's very interesting.
The thing that sets LDS apart from other Mormon sects like the Order, AUB, or FLDS is that the church has far less control over the people. It is so much less insular, the standards are far more relaxed, and one can ignore most of them without any consequence. The LDS church absolutely *can* be a cult, but I don't think it always is - if that makes sense.
I have a friend married to a Kingston. He is apostate I guess. But they had a girl "get direction" or have a dream about him.
I don’t think there is a “true church” on earth today. Following the God of the Bible, doesn’t have a specific church or religion.
Basically, yeah...first you have to figure out 'which bible'. I always say, though, even if you go into a brick and mortar church (or, in this day - an online version), there will be no two people with exactly the same beliefs. We just have to be good people, don't hurt each other, don't get into each others' face LOL etc. There is such a huge rift between 'faith' and 'religion' now.
But also, there is no god.
@@Qrtuop only a fool says “there is no God.” Heaven or hell when you die. It’s your choice.
First of all, I just want to say is that I just love watching your videos. And Second of all I wanted to ask about Ethan, from season 1. I was just wondering what ever happened with him. Can you please do a video on him or have him on here if he wants to.
Wow! The AUB is so much like the Mormon church. No wonder Kody ended up joining it. It wasn’t far from what he already knew.
"That's so culty" 🤣
Is AUB an LDS offshoot then?
Yes
It’s a splinter group!
Isn’t Cody Brown apart of the AUB?
Yep
@@janshe3597 how are they so laxed. Because they are tv stars
Start a podcast!!
Bummer! No captioning:(
Having to face north to pray is so creepy.
Do any of these order people read the Bible cause no where in it does it say how many will get into Heaven
Obviously not. In order to oppress and manipulate you need to prevent independent thought and critical thinking. Unfortunately, the bible isn’t the most self explanatory piece of literature to be able to get the analogies that it’s easy for cultists to teach completely offshoot bs. Book religions definitely don’t prevent extremism and manipulation. Ironically, all these groups are losely related to protestantism which all started because Luther wanted Germans so be able to read the bible in German and not have a priest read it in Latin and then just tell people whatever he felt it meant
I am curious about leaving the cults....through watching everything remotely related to any Joseph Smith religion.....I have noticed that some will go to the LDS church. Why is this? I was strict LDS and utterly committed. But now after no longer believing I see this also as very cultish .... there's always a a dangling gold carrot. But why do some leave one cult and then join another?
Because it’s familiar but less strict. People like to stick to what they know
I'm actually really curious to hear what your thoughts are on the mainstream LDS church; what you heard about it growing up, the differences in theology, and your views on it after you left your sect. As an Exmo, I would be really curious to hear your take on it.
You ever heard of I.S.O.T. in canby CA.
How could the order justify rape of a child versus remain pure for your husband ? Did they blame the niece for " tempting" her uncle ?
Christ's Church the Righteous Branch has missionaries.
Dear god.....the destructive nature of these religious cults is appalling....I'm at a loss for words...
So I am lds. Do everyone of this cults have a connection to the lds church? Like they broke away from?
Yeah, when Wilford Woodruff recieved revelation about the end of plural marriage in 1890, some people had issues with that. Some of those went on to say he wasn't a prophet and start their own religions. Oddly enough, the same thing happened when plural marriage was first revealed. There's tons of little splinter groups, but the overwhelming majority of members through all of this have stayed with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
They’re all living the way that the original Mormon church lived. They didn’t change, the mainstream LDS church is the one who changed. Joseph smith would regard the AUB or FLDS to be more accurate to his teachings than the main church
So what are your thoughts on the LDS church?
Lds is the gateway drug to flds polygamy.
isn't Sister Wives AUB?
Sure is…
I m so confused. Is LDS a cult?
No- they are talking about Latter Day Saint splinter groups, the Kingston’s and the AUB. In their opinion these splinter groups are ‘cults’.
Yes. Brainwashes you to obey. Unconditional love so you don’t have a backbone and don’t think for yourself but rely on external sources. It’s false. And obsessed with being considered “The One” it’s a faction that excludes the gays and the ones that do dress outside of “modesty”
Okay I have questions - don't owe me answers
What do you do for a living?
Do you still help people who wish to leave polygamy?
Do you still live in that area?
You should monetize your videos as soon as possible!
I am part of the AUB and I have to disagree on the missionary work that Leah claims that our church does. It was preached over the pulpit that our calling was to not do missionary work, but that it was the calling of the LDS church to do that. There may be an individual member that thinks they are going to “enlighten” members of other churches but that is all them and not encouraged. There is no infiltration into other churches, though. No plan to go recruit people. I’ve listened to Leah on her channel and think she’s super great and seems really down to earth but remember that everyone has a certain perspective on how they look at things. just get as many perspectives on ANY subject to get a well rounded perspective before making decisions or judgements.
All branches in Christianity are basically cults destroying innocent people lives.
Some of us would argue that ALL missionaries are from cults.
Hi, are you still married? If so, You guys should do a video together(:
Have your experiences with “religion” caused you to doubt that God exists? I pray not. God never meant for His people to be hurt and live as you girls did. I’m so sorry for what you girls have gone through.
There is no invisible magical man in the sky.
@@Qrtuop you are right. He is not invisible or magical. He is alive, and all things come from Him.
There is no true Church or true religion. God is love. That’s it. So if you live your life with love in your heart and you’re a good person(to yourself and others), then you’re doing right by God. Period.
There is no god, either.
Give your life to Jesus Christ , repent, pray and read your bible for your self it may be hard but its worth it ask God for understanding , and for him to guide you , give it all to him before its too late🙏❤ Repent , Jesus Christ is coming back, if you have any questions please ask me