It’s good to hear that there are men who don’t become abusive even though they easily could. It really shows how trauma is never, ever, ever an excuse for abusing someone else. Abuse is a choice.
Wow, go Shanell for stopping the abuser from hurting her younger siblings! Thank you Amanda for spending so much time editing and making these videos and thank you Gerald for sharing your amazing story!! Can't wait for part 3 :D
Amanda, what you’re describing with the baby and the wheel of the car then Daniel would beat you is called Blanket Training. The Duggars and a bunch of very conservative Christian people use it. I think it comes from Michael Pearl. There are several cases of murder via neglect and beating that have been traced to blanket training and the Pearl’s specific variety of Christian (corporal punishment) parenting.
It's in Michael Pearl's book to "train a child". People have tried to get that book banned, it has even worse things in it and blanket training is awful.
Gerald’s story keeps getting more and more interesting !! I’m so glad you got to have a long time with him! It’s so gooood! Can’t wait for part 3! And I just have to add - Gerald looks just like his mom! I bet people say that all the time.. but they’re soooo nearly identical. ❤️
Oh my gosh Gerald's storg is SO captivating!!! I love his energy in these videos, his personality is absolutely adoring and I appreciate him for answering questions! You are all so strong and have overcome so much, thank you for doing these videos Amanda💝 I look forward to them!
When you look at that photo of Danny boy you can see the evil psychopath in his eyes. Like you guys said there is obviously something wrong with that dude. Thank the non order lord that Shanell and Gerald’s mom and siblings had them to help.
You both have my utmost respect. I am a 58 year old mom of 2 grown daughters. Young people like you and my own kids give me hope for the future of our country.
Lmfao Why would I talk to Daniel, hes an asshole 😂😂😂😂😂😂 if I didn't already love Gerald that one statement would make me love him 😂😂😂😂😂 (he reminds me of my best friend growing up.)
I have to agree on the broken gaydar. lol Not everyone has it so don’t feel bad. Gerald seems to be a great guy and awesome sibling. So glad that you all made it out in one piece both physically and mentally!
In body language alone, it is clear that Gerald is gay, but totally ok with himself as he is. After all the years he lived in the Polygamy world and being gay was fully denied by leaders and others in The Order, it is good to hear him talking so openly and honestly about the self discovery he made in realizing this is a part of who he is and how at least 1 other gay young man was coping in The Order as a gay young man. I do notice he wears a ring on his wedding finger- I am hopeful that this is a symbol of a marriage to a man who loves him and treats him very well.
Yes my husband and I enjoy our relationship❤love myself fully as I am❤we have no issues with being gay. I'm hopeful for others to find the same peace within themselves.
Thank you. Been waiting for Geralds story. Amanda you are maturing into a professional young lady. People feel comfortable around you as they open up. You’re a safe place.
Daniel being a sociopath makes sense because he picks on women and children but when he’s actually challenged by someone of equal or greater strength, or someone whose going to threaten his freedom, he backs down. He wants to inflict pain and suffering but at the core he’s a coward and wants to save himself above everyone else. The Order is the perfect breeding ground for someone like Daniel to thrive in his violence because he gets to have hundreds of victims who are directly under his control because they’re his own wives and children.
@4:40; 🤔 It’s interesting to me; that ALL his sexuality was so suppressed; he didn’t know he was gay. Thank you for sharing your story, and shedding light on the dark things. 🙏
I mena he knew he was attracted to men, so I wouldn't say all his sexuality was suppressed. A lot of gay/lesbian people keep expecting to develop an attraction to the opposite sex (especially if they are told it woll 100% happen of course) but then it never does happen, so they realize they are gay.
Yes thank you Amanda I wasn’t expecting anything until the live tomorrow. Thank you Gerald also. I hope it helps you all heal with sharing your stories with us. I know my nephew said he struggled with himself with his sexuality and still does at 18 but I’ll tell you like I do him. Just be Happy and Love yourself that’s all that matters.
Today I have a new hero! Gerald, your story is the most amazing story I've heard on UA-cam. Your brothers and sisters are so blessed to have you in their lives. I'm certain God is proud of you.
I'm so sad that so many children had to go to hell for these disgusting men running this cult. The physical, sexual and emotional abuse just blows my mind. Y'all are so strong and inshore soo many! Can't wait for part 3! @Amanda Rae you are such an amazing woman! Keep doing you.
It's 1200 per child for federal. And Shanell is such a strong woman. Daniel seems like a narcissist for sure.... Daniel is an evil pos anyone that can do that to his own children has to be at least a narcissist.
I think the two of you are wonderful, open, articulate, thinking very clearly and analysing things extemely well. I am sure you have more trauma to go through before you can put it all behind you, and that you sometimes feel bad, but plod on! You are great.
Oh my goodness my story is so mild compared to what you all went through! It’s wonderful how loving, compassionate, so down to earth it actually seems like we’re all just sitting around sharing truths 😊
People don't always realise the huge role older children pay with younger ones in larger families. It becomes a different kind of bond, an almost parental one
Yes, I think siblings & other people who raise children who aren't their parents are overlooked & often underappreciated. I was lucky in as in my youth I was literally referred to as a second mother to my siblings, so I felt my effort was acknowledged.
I appreciated Gerald feel about it. I almost same as you. I have four children and they all grown up and supportive me. I left LDS church. Thanks for sharing!
Have any mothers sued Daniel for child support after they left the cult? He doesn't have to be on the birth certificate for the mother to get child support. For years, in IL, when you apply for benefits they ask you to name names. They will do blood tests for men not on birth certificates. Even in the '80s they were pretty insistent on naming fathers.
Thank you for sharing your story, Gerald. I find it very endearing and lovely that you can be yourself despite the fact that that goes so strongly against your upbringing. Thank you for helping him to share his story, Amanda! And thanks to Shannel (sp?) as well! She's quite a little fighter and I love it! Would love more content with her.
God Gerald that end part in part 2 tore me up a little bit inside - u seem ok but that is incredibly painful - I hope someone lets u be vulnerable and gives you a hug.
Amanda, I just now discovered your channel and videos after watching some episodes of Escaping Polygamy. I love how you've all empowered yourselves despite all the dark experiences you've been through! More power to you all -- you, Shannell and Gerald! ✊🏼
Gerald is such a sweet nice man, seem like someone everyone would enjoy being around. He had a bad start in life, most would have crumble, with self pity. He seems to have taken it as a life lesson, and moved on with life.
Polygamy DOES mean three mates/partners. Polygyny is the accurate name for multiple wives. Polyandry is the name for multiple husbands. Also, Gerald is wonderful. I hope you will have him on more often. Love it when you have former members on with you one-on-one.
This is another fantastic video, thank you for all the hard work putting it together Amanda. I love the feeling of just hanging out and hearing about your life experiences, the audio is sounding so much better, the camera angles are dynamic and your editing has really improved the last year, so awesome to see your growth! And of course, thank you so much for sharing Gerald, you are such an interesting person, I could listen to you speak for hours.
Amanda your content is so good and informative. Thanks for sharing this important info that people outside of cults would not typically know about. Gerald is awesome and I’m glad he felt comfortable to share with your viewers!
Amanda you’re so good at interviewing! You take the time to listen and you always respond and share your insight, while also being respectful. It’s great to see! Not everyone can juggle that and you do it so well!! So excited to see where your channel goes! So much potential here!! Keep it up! Powerful stuff! 🔥
Oh dang it! I’m proud your better now but how awful that you were in that. This is why I adopt people into my life. Family doesn’t always mean what it does to us xoxoxoxo Much love and thanks for sharing
Yes! Just got off work and noticed this notification. I've been patiently (sort of 😁) waiting for part 2. Thank you both! Love and blessings from Virginia 😘
It’s too bad Val’s conversation with Daniel wasn’t on escaping polygamy. Seeing him confronting Daniel would have been awesome. Major props to Val for standing up to him.
Thanks Amanda and Gerald for the great video! Can’t wait for part 3. I wonder where his first job or type of job he did when he left the order. Did he get to go to college?
I want to say I deeply respect and appreciate what you do to raise awareness about cults and abuse in general. You and all your guests are so brave and you are making a difference. What I am confused about is if Gerald and his siblings weren't told who their dad was how did they know that their half-siblings we're their siblings? What was the story you were told about who those other kids your same age were and how they were connected to you?
i love gerald, he needs his own youtube channel, its sad he worked so hard for the order, slave labor, THANK YOU AMANDA for making these videos, you are so smart, talented, hard working, beautiful and funny.
As a bi woman I totally understand the thought that everyone was bi because they kept saying it was a choice. Honestly I still believe a lot of people who say that are secretly bi
So many of your dads kids have left the order, he basically was the one who got Gerald and Shanelle out. At what point do they make him stop talking to people...
Seems like all of you ex-order members could file a class-action lawsuit against the order for all of these spurious "back account" and child support thievery. Meanwhile, someone at the top is living off of your hard work and savings. Disgusting. Keep your paperwork!
I really like you a lot , you are such a strong women..I rally like you xposed the craysiness of the tne cult..Have you listen to the podd ' Pluck Junk From my Trunk' you love their satir an knowledge about the Brown family..They know the Browns for all their life..I just love their podd as must I like your...There is a lot of podds that speaks about summes up reality shows, your podd and Pluck.....is the best.. Listen to both of your podds every Day...love your strengh and curage..❤🎉😊❤🎉
I’m still so confused. How can the men all be thinking “I’ll have three wives!” There are not three times as many women as men. Most men don’t get any wives, right? It’s math, people, math! Are the men all deluding themselves? Or does everyone already know from childhood which boys will never become husbands? So, so, so very confused.
I think you are missing that it is deliberately set up to be unfair. They don’t want everyone to have 3 wives, or they woildnt be special. They dont even want all the men in the community to have 3 or more woves as they would be a potential threat to their power. The leaders do seem to pick on some boys because of their family reputation but I think they usually wait until they are older, to see how complacent or how much of an asset they can be, before deciding to keep them round or not. Of course, letting them marry little girls, who are their own family no-less, does open up the dating/prospectIve wives pool significantly.
I think it's cool how Kollene and Gerald have their last name as "Snow" and that's the last name "illigitamate" kids take in Game of Thrones
I honestly assume it was a reference .
I’m pretty sure they were snows before game of thrones lol
@@tarabrowning1872 yes for sure!
@@tarabrowning1872 maybe that's where GoT got the idea from lol
Imagine having sister wives named Koko Shanell
It’s good to hear that there are men who don’t become abusive even though they easily could. It really shows how trauma is never, ever, ever an excuse for abusing someone else. Abuse is a choice.
So true
Wow, go Shanell for stopping the abuser from hurting her younger siblings! Thank you Amanda for spending so much time editing and making these videos and thank you Gerald for sharing your amazing story!! Can't wait for part 3 :D
Gerald seems cool af. I’m so glad he’s out and can live his authentic, best life. Thank you for posting and can’t wait for part three! 💜
That steering wheel story reminds me of the “blanket training “ in the IBLP🤬
Amanda, what you’re describing with the baby and the wheel of the car then Daniel would beat you is called Blanket Training. The Duggars and a bunch of very conservative Christian people use it. I think it comes from Michael Pearl. There are several cases of murder via neglect and beating that have been traced to blanket training and the Pearl’s specific variety of Christian (corporal punishment) parenting.
Interesting, thanks for sharing this. It makes way more sense than what I thought.
It's in Michael Pearl's book to "train a child". People have tried to get that book banned, it has even worse things in it and blanket training is awful.
Thank you for explaining that. I looked it up and feels a bit sad and lonely for a youngster..
Gerald is so awesome! I grew up in a very conservative home and it took going into the Air Force and stationed in Germany to finally come out lol
Im so glad you're out and happy 🥰😘
Gerald’s story keeps getting more and more interesting !! I’m so glad you got to have a long time with him! It’s so gooood! Can’t wait for part 3!
And I just have to add - Gerald looks just like his mom! I bet people say that all the time.. but they’re soooo nearly identical. ❤️
16:31 Hahaha, awesome.
Your siblings may have gotten a raw deal with Daniel for a father but they got really lucky having you as a brother!
Oh my gosh Gerald's storg is SO captivating!!! I love his energy in these videos, his personality is absolutely adoring and I appreciate him for answering questions! You are all so strong and have overcome so much, thank you for doing these videos Amanda💝 I look forward to them!
😲 you're so sweet!💗 I hope someone in the order watches this, and it helps them find their true self.
Gerald is awesome! So happy for him leaving the order and living his truth, he deserves to be happy and love who he wants to love.
Amanda you are so talented. You definitely should expand your channel and interview also ex members from other cults.
Great idea! I'd love to see her interview Rachel Jeffs
She has a few, she interview Leah from AUB and Growing up in Polygamy Sam and Melissa, (FLDS and LDS)
Mary Anne would be a good one too.
When you look at that photo of Danny boy you can see the evil psychopath in his eyes. Like you guys said there is obviously something wrong with that dude. Thank the non order lord that Shanell and Gerald’s mom and siblings had them to help.
You both have my utmost respect. I am a 58 year old mom of 2 grown daughters. Young people like you and my own kids give me hope for the future of our country.
Love Gerald’s energy he seems like a really fun person to be around
I think he would be a ball to hang out with & just enjoy having as a friend/just taking time to enjoy life with!
Yes! Like a really nice bff!
Lmfao Why would I talk to Daniel, hes an asshole 😂😂😂😂😂😂 if I didn't already love Gerald that one statement would make me love him 😂😂😂😂😂 (he reminds me of my best friend growing up.)
I didnt know Gerald was gay until like my second year out of the order.
Gaydar is broken.
I have to agree on the broken gaydar. lol Not everyone has it so don’t feel bad. Gerald seems to be a great guy and awesome sibling. So glad that you all made it out in one piece both physically and mentally!
Did you leave first or did Gerald?
@@melaniebrown1245 I left before any of my siblings.
In body language alone, it is clear that Gerald is gay, but totally ok with himself as he is. After all the years he lived in the Polygamy world and being gay was fully denied by leaders and others in The Order, it is good to hear him talking so openly and honestly about the self discovery he made in realizing this is a part of who he is and how at least 1 other gay young man was coping in The Order as a gay young man. I do notice he wears a ring on his wedding finger- I am hopeful that this is a symbol of a marriage to a man who loves him and treats him very well.
Yes my husband and I enjoy our relationship❤love myself fully as I am❤we have no issues with being gay. I'm hopeful for others to find the same peace within themselves.
@@Valiant.Unicorn Fantastic! I hope you two have a long and happy life together!
Love hearing Geralds story. All the financial stuff blows my mind, so sketchy.
Thank you. Been waiting for Geralds story. Amanda you are maturing into a professional young lady. People feel comfortable around you as they open up. You’re a safe place.
Daniel being a sociopath makes sense because he picks on women and children but when he’s actually challenged by someone of equal or greater strength, or someone whose going to threaten his freedom, he backs down. He wants to inflict pain and suffering but at the core he’s a coward and wants to save himself above everyone else. The Order is the perfect breeding ground for someone like Daniel to thrive in his violence because he gets to have hundreds of victims who are directly under his control because they’re his own wives and children.
Gerald’s assertiveness and sassiness makes me want to turn him into a book character
@4:40; 🤔
It’s interesting to me; that ALL his sexuality was so suppressed; he didn’t know he was gay.
Thank you for sharing your story, and shedding light on the dark things. 🙏
I mena he knew he was attracted to men, so I wouldn't say all his sexuality was suppressed. A lot of gay/lesbian people keep expecting to develop an attraction to the opposite sex (especially if they are told it woll 100% happen of course) but then it never does happen, so they realize they are gay.
Yes thank you Amanda I wasn’t expecting anything until the live tomorrow. Thank you Gerald also. I hope it helps you all heal with sharing your stories with us. I know my nephew said he struggled with himself with his sexuality and still does at 18 but I’ll tell you like I do him. Just be Happy and Love yourself that’s all that matters.
Today I have a new hero! Gerald, your story is the most amazing story I've heard on UA-cam. Your brothers and sisters are so blessed to have you in their lives. I'm certain God is proud of you.
I'm so sad that so many children had to go to hell for these disgusting men running this cult. The physical, sexual and emotional abuse just blows my mind. Y'all are so strong and inshore soo many! Can't wait for part 3! @Amanda Rae you are such an amazing woman! Keep doing you.
Thank you for telling your story Gerald! Such a strong and good person for all the ways you helped care for your family! Looking forward to part 3!
Gerald is hilarious! :)
I watched this again in the morning, I can’t get over Gerald! He is so fantastic! Please do more videos with him! He tells GREAT stories!
It's 1200 per child for federal. And Shanell is such a strong woman. Daniel seems like a narcissist for sure.... Daniel is an evil pos anyone that can do that to his own children has to be at least a narcissist.
Shame on the mother for turning her precious son into a "son husband." This is what polygamy does.
I think the two of you are wonderful, open, articulate, thinking very clearly and analysing things extemely well. I am sure you have more trauma to go through before you can put it all behind you, and that you sometimes feel bad, but plod on! You are great.
Thank you for sharing your story with us Gerald.
Daniel Kingston has built up a lot of bad karma hasn't he?
Oh my goodness my story is so mild compared to what you all went through!
It’s wonderful how loving, compassionate, so down to earth it actually seems like we’re all just sitting around sharing truths 😊
YESSSSS I was waiting for this!
People don't always realise the huge role older children pay with younger ones in larger families. It becomes a different kind of bond, an almost parental one
Yes, I think siblings & other people who raise children who aren't their parents are overlooked & often underappreciated. I was lucky in as in my youth I was literally referred to as a second mother to my siblings, so I felt my effort was acknowledged.
Shirley did a great job raising her children considering her circumstances 🤦🏼♀️💕
I appreciated Gerald feel about it. I almost same as you. I have four children and they all grown up and supportive me. I left LDS church. Thanks for sharing!
Yes LDS is so similar with gay men. Always so thankful for Utah LGBT culture!! 🙏
Have any mothers sued Daniel for child support after they left the cult? He doesn't have to be on the birth certificate for the mother to get child support. For years, in IL, when you apply for benefits they ask you to name names. They will do blood tests for men not on birth certificates. Even in the '80s they were pretty insistent on naming fathers.
Yay you saved me from having to watch basketball.
Thank you for sharing your story, Gerald. I find it very endearing and lovely that you can be yourself despite the fact that that goes so strongly against your upbringing. Thank you for helping him to share his story, Amanda! And thanks to Shannel (sp?) as well! She's quite a little fighter and I love it! Would love more content with her.
You young adults are amazing ..
Thanks for sharing your journey .
I love the strong amazing people y’all are!!!!
God Gerald that end part in part 2 tore me up a little bit inside - u seem ok but that is incredibly painful - I hope someone lets u be vulnerable and gives you a hug.
Amanda, I just now discovered your channel and videos after watching some episodes of Escaping Polygamy. I love how you've all empowered yourselves despite all the dark experiences you've been through! More power to you all -- you, Shannell and Gerald! ✊🏼
I love this. Gerald has such an amazing personality. Thank you for sharing his story.
Gerald is such a sweet nice man, seem like someone everyone would enjoy being around. He had a bad start in life, most would have crumble, with self pity. He seems to have taken it as a life lesson, and moved on with life.
Just a add on why would a child pay child support for his brothers and sisters. Rather than the actual asshole who fathered them babys.
He should film a video to anyone LGBT still in the order to be their spark to gtfo… another great video Amanda 💜 🤷🏼♀️ you did it again, girlie 🤪💁🏼♀️
Polygamy DOES mean three mates/partners. Polygyny is the accurate name for multiple wives. Polyandry is the name for multiple husbands. Also, Gerald is wonderful. I hope you will have him on more often. Love it when you have former members on with you one-on-one.
Not necessarily three, there isn't a set structure to polygamous relationships
This is another fantastic video, thank you for all the hard work putting it together Amanda. I love the feeling of just hanging out and hearing about your life experiences, the audio is sounding so much better, the camera angles are dynamic and your editing has really improved the last year, so awesome to see your growth! And of course, thank you so much for sharing Gerald, you are such an interesting person, I could listen to you speak for hours.
Both of you are simply an inspiration. What a story!!!!! Keep up the great content. Army Strong!!!!!
Amanda your content is so good and informative. Thanks for sharing this important info that people outside of cults would not typically know about. Gerald is awesome and I’m glad he felt comfortable to share with your viewers!
Amanda you’re so good at interviewing! You take the time to listen and you always respond and share your insight, while also being respectful. It’s great to see! Not everyone can juggle that and you do it so well!! So excited to see where your channel goes! So much potential here!! Keep it up! Powerful stuff! 🔥
Yes, please, more and deeper content on how the order works and beliefs! MERRY CHRISTMAS 🎉
I love his sense of humor
Oh dang it! I’m proud your better now but how awful that you were in that.
This is why I adopt people into my life. Family doesn’t always mean what it does to us xoxoxoxo
Much love and thanks for sharing
Amanda's Steven snow comment Dr pepper flew out my nose. I'm dead 🤣
This needs to be a movie
Always look forward to your videos!
Omg... I love him 🥰🥰. He seems like such a fun and funny person.
Omg Gerald is so hilarious
Yes! Just got off work and noticed this notification. I've been patiently (sort of 😁) waiting for part 2. Thank you both! Love and blessings from Virginia 😘
It’s too bad Val’s conversation with Daniel wasn’t on escaping polygamy. Seeing him confronting Daniel would have been awesome. Major props to Val for standing up to him.
Gerald you are so fun to listen to watch❤ I literally am at my office listening and laughing at all his quips at Daniel and the leadership 😂😂😂
Please, more Gerald! I love your story. YOU are a good, strong man, not your horrible father.
Gerald looks so much like his mom!
I love Gerald! He's true to himself!
Thanks Amanda and Gerald for the great video! Can’t wait for part 3. I wonder where his first job or type of job he did when he left the order. Did he get to go to college?
Culinary Arts, bar tender
I so hope the state sees this video.
Wow. So glad you guys are out of there.
Yes on the video about direction without attraction!
I want to say I deeply respect and appreciate what you do to raise awareness about cults and abuse in general. You and all your guests are so brave and you are making a difference. What I am confused about is if Gerald and his siblings weren't told who their dad was how did they know that their half-siblings we're their siblings? What was the story you were told about who those other kids your same age were and how they were connected to you?
I couldn't wait for this Part 2!! Thank you Amanda and Gerald!! Much love! ❤
Amanda keep up the good work, but I hope you, and your other family members are also trying to help people leave your old cult.
Love your videos Amanda!! Thank you for the interesting, educational content!! ❤
I like he's empathetic towards women. A good dude.
i love gerald, he needs his own youtube channel, its sad he worked so hard for the order, slave labor, THANK YOU AMANDA for making these videos, you are so smart, talented, hard working, beautiful and funny.
I know I'm late to the show, I just adore you both. Crazy religion and lifestyle. Keep the interviews going. ✌️❤️
I hope he talks about weekend crew.
I didn't... but I worked 24 hr shifts 😩 horrible on your health
@@Valiant.Unicorn WTH. I can't imagine. My husband works 12 hr swings and that's hard enough on someone.
It only happened a few times, but those days were way too long. So glad I'm out of that
how brave you all are ...
thank you so much for sharing and educating us ...
stay safe
As a bi woman I totally understand the thought that everyone was bi because they kept saying it was a choice.
Honestly I still believe a lot of people who say that are secretly bi
Omg I love you guys together. This is my favorite interview I’ve seen so far lol
Gerald you are such a good genuine person 💜💜
So many of your dads kids have left the order, he basically was the one who got Gerald and Shanelle out. At what point do they make him stop talking to people...
Thank you for sharing your story!
I did no expect there to be a part 3 as well!!
Gerald: I’m gay.
Daniel: *Shocked Pikachu Face* 😲
Thank you for sharing your story ❤️
Love ya girl. You are AWESOME ❤️
Jfc find a lawyer, take that paystub and sue them. You most definitely have a legitimate case. That could seriously bring hell down upon them lol
Yes more please!!
Love love love Gerald
Seems like all of you ex-order members could file a class-action lawsuit against the order for all of these spurious "back account" and child support thievery. Meanwhile, someone at the top is living off of your hard work and savings. Disgusting. Keep your paperwork!
"its not fair they have to be with ugly guys so im gonna be a nice pretty guy". real. thank you. lo
Those seem like very comfortable couches
Awesome guy
I need part 3
I really like you a lot , you are such a strong women..I rally like you xposed the craysiness of the tne cult..Have you listen to the podd ' Pluck Junk From my Trunk' you love their satir an knowledge about the Brown family..They know the Browns for all their life..I just love their podd as must I like your...There is a lot of podds that speaks about summes up reality shows, your podd and Pluck.....is the best.. Listen to both of your podds every Day...love your strengh and curage..❤🎉😊❤🎉
I’m still so confused. How can the men all be thinking “I’ll have three wives!” There are not three times as many women as men. Most men don’t get any wives, right? It’s math, people, math! Are the men all deluding themselves? Or does everyone already know from childhood which boys will never become husbands? So, so, so very confused.
My name blessing told me I'd have multiple wives 🙌 and again for my Baptism blessing.
Only “higher up” men get to marry women in the order. The rest have to either bring approved wives in or leave the order
I think you are missing that it is deliberately set up to be unfair. They don’t want everyone to have 3 wives, or they woildnt be special. They dont even want all the men in the community to have 3 or more woves as they would be a potential threat to their power.
The leaders do seem to pick on some boys because of their family reputation but I think they usually wait until they are older, to see how complacent or how much of an asset they can be, before deciding to keep them round or not.
Of course, letting them marry little girls, who are their own family no-less, does open up the dating/prospectIve wives pool significantly.