How To Combine Finances After Marriage?
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- Опубліковано 1 жов 2024
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I love hearing Dave talk about his & his wife's relationship. He holds her in such high regard. It's really inspiring
-29yo dude
@P Maitra just takes communication, and anyone can get there.
@P Maitra indeed!
@P Maitra Combining finances is not that hard and very realistic. If marriage isn't your thing and your content with a more casual relationship that's fine. But marriage is 100%
I know, it is so heart-warming to see strong married couples. I wish I could find a strong man of God who understands this exact principle!!
@@TJ-oo5mx your whole thought process is flawed. It shows that the fault probably isnt with the women around you but rather yourself.
I cant believe that you think women should be the "weaker vessel" and "should fulfill men". This shows the exact problem with you. Respect the woman you find and they will respect you and everything will be worth it. Keep looking down on women and you will continue to struggle and see women out to get men.
I could hear the pain in her voice lol. She wasnt expecting that answer from Dave.
Agreed either its because she's making more and is hesitant in sharing or shes feeling guilty because he makes more and its just alien to her to be apart of that.
Could also be that hes hesitant in sharing but she really wants to just dousn't know if its right to
LIV MARIE first
She wasn't
Rush to judgement maybe?? Listen to the rest of the call please. She’s concerned about her husband who doesn’t agree with this, not her. She does sound suspect though and I too thought the same as you and 160 other people who didn’t listen to the entire call! Lol.
Christian Phillips how do you know thats what she meant? 🤭
Very well said, too many people want to get married and still be individuals.
Absolutely, agree. And the two shall become one.
when your wife is so financially irresponsible you have to keep the bank accounts separate or she will drain every last penny you have sometimes it's the only way to save the marriage
ryan i agree with you, but before marriage you should know someones spending habits and marry someone who is on the same page as you financially or help them get on the same page. you knew she was financially irresponsible before marriage and just chose to accept that.
Not! Too many people wanting to live together and not get married! That's what it is!!! Wonder why?
Fishing Rod it's easy because when it gets tuff they move on.
The pastor doesn’t say And now you’re a joint venture 😂😂
That made me spit my morning coffee, it was a good one.
You are not two you are one that’s what being married means.
He might as well 😅
Getting married and combining finances made paying bills, and budgeting so much more easy it's both of ours.
Dave is so respectful of his wife
Hank Fuchs no he is a neutered beta male
@@ztaco9477 what is a neutered beta male?
@@ztaco9477 actually he is an alpha he provides for her so she CAN be a stay at home mum and take care of him the house and the children. So very far from beta .
Eso Tera no an alpha would be having a few women in his stable with no kids or concerns. Also having your money and possessions secure from anyone’s hands is important. If for whatever reason she decides to leave him he is scared. His balls are constantly on the block
@@ztaco9477 sure! Have a nice day
Red flag if your partner won’t openly talk about money with you especially BEFORE you get married. You have to know what you’re getting into and remove the stigma around talking about money or you’ll get into trouble
That’s the mistake I made when I got married. I learned the hard way.
If you marry the right person, this is a blessing. Each of you becomes more prudent with your spending, because it isn't just your money, it's *their* money too.
If you marry the wrong person, this is hell.
“The only thing that is not ours is if the dog poops on the floor. That’s my dog.
HAHA wonderful wife
"you're now a joint venture" Lol
mmmlive1999
Lol divorce lawyers will F*** men over & over .
Prenups.
FLYBOY805 if you want a prenup guess what, you shouldn't marry her since you obviously don't trust her.
Cobb Thank you
@@tpzlol I think you can trust people and still engage in due diligence processes simply as a matter of process...
Not going to lie, it was a bit of a challenge for me the first time I combined finances with my husband. At the time we were both dirt poor, but I had a savings that I had worked hard to save over years with minimum wage work. I knew we both wanted to have combined finances because we value the partnership of marriage in everything, but it was still a transition to take “my hard work and my savings” out of my account. Long story short through going to college and transitioning careers we have both supported one another from time to time and have both been in positions of financial dependency on one another. It’s been good because it has made our relationship so much stronger. Wouldn’t change a thing.
LazicStefan still going strong! We are now debt free (paid off $50k in student and car loans) and are now saving for a house. We have made it through a sudden, recent job layoff with little issue past an unexpected inconvenience. Still no regrets. 🤗
Combined since day 1!
That’s wonderful! Thank you for sharing. I am thinking of getting engaged and I have more “financial smarts” and savings than him. But this helped me to think about US not just me vs him.
Thanks this has really helped too
We just dump it all in one account and have two debit cards. It's our money.
That is how bit should be. If not all you have it’s a roommate 👌👌
My husband and I have this arrangement, too. He never ever indicated that he has more of a say just because he works outside the home. It's called marriage.
That's because he's soft.
That’s a casualty
ScarletNight No its because he trusts her, dont marry people that are gold diggers be a better judge of character, two mature and communicative adults should have no problem in marriage
If your wife gives up a carees, takes care of your home, gets pregnant and does all the childcare then shes owed half of the income. Otherwise you can both have separate careers and she won't sacrifice her body and ambitions to support YOU.
Norah Miriam Chehab she will hit the wall regardless.
This is SO important. I don't think a lot of people in my generation undersand this. Marriages are not supposed to be 50/50, it's 100%. If you go into a marriage with separate finances and continue to cling to "this is mine and only mine" then you're headed for trouble. Unless you both are agreeing to do that respectively, you're headed for trouble.
If you're thinking about marrying someone with adult children that still need financial help, never combine finances or run the other way.
This marriage view he has is the best part of his entire advice portfolio. It is the foundation of happiness and wealth.
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awesome video! WE is the most important.
I don't agree with Dave on this. My wife and I have ben married for 3 years. She has HER paycheck, HER bank accounts, and HER credit cards. I have MY paycheck, MY bank accounts, and MY credit cards. I make 2X what my wife does. Every month when it is time to pay the mortgage and bills, I pay my half and she pays her half. It's never been an issue, at least not for me, and I have no intention of changing it. When a couple shares everything as OURS, then the divorce comes, isn't it funny how the judge gives HER the house, and HER the kids, and HER half your paycheck for child support?
Wadley225 y’all sound like roommates
3 years is nowhere close to Dave's 30+ years sir. He's got much more experience with these stuff.
My husband and I have been married for 15 years, and we both have always had full time careers. We entered the marriage with separate bank accounts and we've always kept separate bank accounts. It never occurred to us to combine them. He pays the house bills and I buy groceries. If there is a month where one of us needs some extra money we just give it to the other out of our accounts. We just find it simpler that way. Every couple is different, do what works for you.
We do this as well
Well said! You marry a person, NOT a bank account. Having separate accounts discourages gold diggers and promotes a good work ethic. Combining everything smacks of socialism.
Sounds like he contributes more than you if he’s paying for the house bill and all you’re paying for is groceries. There are a lot of other expenses besides the one that’s mentioned. Interesting though.
This doesn't look like a marriage, more like an enterprise. But as you said, some people don't want marriage; they're just OK with running a company together.
Wow... just read through the comments and I'm shocked at how many dysfunctional people there are. My wife and I had been calling it our money since we were married and would not have it any other way. We go through periods where sometimes she brings home more money, sometimes I do, and there's never been a time when one of us felt more or less entitled to our joint pool of finances.
Anton.d09 why are you calling people dysfunctional for thinking for themselves with their brain and not just doing what they are told or is the “norm”. If it was normal to jump off a bridge for your wedding would you do it too or would you think first? To many sheep these days
h
Joseph Prado tbh the trashing of marriage and women in marriage is more like the norm than a mature functional example of a marriage seems to be
@@josephprado5742 Thinking for yourself can be irrational and childish sometimes. Not all "thinking for themselves" is smart.
That's how I see it. Two become one. Each can still have pocket money from the budget and together decisions can be made for saving for bigger items. If someone says that's bad because everyone should think for themselves...well... together they should be having the same joys and griefs. It's not suppose to be running a corporation together.
Im single so the We is, Me, Myself and I. And vacations we never agree lol
@Lindalee Law 😂😂😂. But you still have FUN!!
My husband and I combined our money as soon as we got back from the honeymoon. I make more and I've never felt that I deserve more of the money or anything. I couldn't deal with separate accounts, I would constantly want to know if the other party is being good with their money and what not and I know for sure I'll want to see how much they're saving and I would probably annoy them and cause a strain in the marriage. I handle our financing paying all the bills etc from our joint account. We also have our own personal accounts that's only for allowances; we each get $75 on each paycheck to spend however we want, that way no one has to ask permission to buy certain things, although if either of us need/want something that may be costly, we consult with one another and it comes out the joint account.
Even if we both have a joint account that we rarely access only on emergencies and holidays I still believe in having my own money as a woman. As an African woman African men are really entitled to a woman's money so much and if you dnt find ways to protect some of your hard earned money you will be truly shocked on how some of the money is spent and you cant question him because he is the head of the family. I can never fully trust a man with my money. It's just hard!!
Dave nailed it. And after reading through some of the comments, I’m starting to understand why so many marriages fail now. People just simply don’t understand what a marriage is anymore.
How many poor women want to combine finances with rich guys? All. How many rich women want to join finances with poor men? Almost none. Simple
If a marriage involves kids from previous relationships get EVERYTHING spelled out legally prior to getting married. Take care of your kids/grandkids, or others who you may have in mind prior to getting legally hitched. I've witnessed heartbreaking scenarios where so much emotional turmoil, hatred, and confusion could have been prevented if the two joining together would have exercised some common sense. Come to an agreement, legalize it, and give all concerned a copy of it. If I remarry I plan on doing this, and will insist that my future husband do it as well. Our kids shouldn't have to wonder if an unscrupulous gold digger is going to emerge when one of us passes away.
Will do! Thank you!
Amen! Heartbreak is bad enough. Don’t pile bankruptcy on top of it. Plan plan plan.
Cindy Hindsight is 20/20 is also encourage you to take your time and choose better quality man, before rushing into a marriage.
That’s a problem too for the person that don’t have any children is like ok WE are going to pay child support for several years for children that are not yours but then half of everything including ones person money is their children. As you said everything in writing I saw a case of a lady that made more than her husband all her life when he died after her financially gave all she could to his children education, cars vacations, pay his child support the children came after half of what she made he was making $30,000 and she was making $150,000 that was scary.
@@lesliecuriel2112 huh?
What if the husband has a child support case from a prior marriage and then gets his wages garnished? The wife and couple would suffer. Not to mention that a prenup + the separate accounts will secure their savings. I can’t agree with this one. There are serious consequences in certain circumstances to not combining everything.
Don't marry him or her. Who wants to deal with that. Don't marry anyone with minor children. It becomes a nightmare and the children suffer. It only has a 75% chance of working out anyways.
Alexia Daley don’t get married period, only has a 50% chance of working out the first time. Too much risk, not enough reward
Just shared this with the my kids. This is how my husband and I have always had our marriage and we have been together for 28 years. I hope our kids follow ours and Dave’s advice on this matter.
I needed to hear this. Well said Dave. This needs more emphasis in financial peace class. I know there was brief mentions, but not enough. That said, this would be good to mention how each person can have pocket money so they dont need to argue why you bought a new pair of $15 sunglasses for yourself.
Favorite video ever!!! My husband and I are “ we”. We’ve been married twenty five years!! 😍
Congratulations!!!
👏🏾👏🏾🍾🍾
I have a question; so I know you combine finances when married. However I’m pretty much the kind of guy who doesn’t ask for help when it comes to money., right now we kinda upset at each other bc she wants to marry like SOON and I do too, she’s wonderful however I’m still working on my career and it’s going to take an average of 2 years to be finally in a place where my career is stable. She’s 24 and I’m 26, I worry that I spend all my money in the wedding that I won’t have anymore to give, and she’s better financially so my question is what would you do in my situation ?
I have to say I’ve listen to a few videos and wanted you to know that God speaks through you and that your advice on the subjects of engaged couples and this one on marriage and money really has spoken to me and my issues I face now. Thank you and continue to be a blessing to us all!
Not a joint venture it's a marriage. Golden.
Sounds like she wanted to keep her money to herself. Double standard lol
Watch the video first maybe?
kbrigsby61 Jesse Peterson?
kbrigsby61 or watch the whole video before making rash judgements. And either way you seem to be making pretty quick judgements.
I don't blame her
@@sassysally2995 what do you think I did?
Me and my wife have seperate accounts but we also have a join checking a savings that we put money into every payday for bills and stuff. After all the bills are paid whatever is left we can use for whatever, if we need more for groceries or anything else that comes up then I will add more. It works for us. I've seen way to many people get burned with the joined account. Some guy I listened to on here said that he had about 100k in a joint account, sadly during his divorce he went to take out half of it and his wife took all of it out except for 5 dollars. There was absolutely nothing he can do about it, but hey Dave saves everything is just one right? Thats a risk you should take, right?
My wife and I have been married for 10 years. No financial problems since we combined our income.
Whoever takes all the money into a marriage is scared of divorce and losing half of their life savings even though they had made their fortune before meeting their partner
This is a great perspective! How do you handle the joint account if one person is a spender and the other is a saver?
My husband and I both have a weekly allowance. If either of us need something outside that allowance, we ask for permission and give a budget on the expense. Ex. I’m in my second trimester and cannot stand to wear any of my pre-pregnancy clothes so I approached him and said “hey baby, would it be ok if I spent $150 of our misc exp on maternity clothes.” Of course he says yes. He doesn’t ever say “well, if you’re gonna spend $150 on clothes, I’m gonna spend $150 on tools.” He knows I’m asking bc it’s a necessity.
Lo Jones u say of course he said yes but what just saying what if he said no
I would handle it with 3 accounts total. 1 joint and 2 separate for each individual. X amount of ur monthly income goes to joint and the other Y amount thats left over goes to urs. This of course is all under the assumption that the spender only dips into his/her account to spend money.
@@clublulu399 this is what I plan to do. This is the way
again, common sense. been married 25 years and whenever hubby wants something my answer is always 'you can have anything you want'. I handle OUR money. Sometimes I make more than he does, sometimes he does. I'm not materialistic so I just grow savings....I retired at 52. now we play. I'm so sad for people that can't make that commitment.
We went for Dave’s financial course for newlywed when we first got married, we learned a lot about how to manage the money together and never been his or my money. It helps us to love each other more even I am a stay home wife. We never have any problem with money because everything we have in both of our names.
This works for us. Has for 30 years. Everyone is different though.
I'm sure this makes Dave Ramsey more attractive to a lot of the women listening.
Unless the women have more assets.
Rofl. She sounded so sad when he said that.
BUT! Me and my husband *do* have separate accounts. We just don't say "this is mine and this is yours" It will always be ours. My money is counted as additional savings since I have an unpredictable income. My money is also used to test out different credit unions when we move to another state/city, (since it's only a few thousand).
Constant patience, understanding, consistency, fairness, and love is all you need for a marriage. If both parties aren't willing to do this then you're with the wrong person or are that person :P.
LoveLife My wife and I have our own checking accounts, but share one savings. Pretty much everything else is shared, besides the obvious.
LoveLife
You said 'ours', then you say 'my money'. It sounds like your husband's money is yours as well, but your money is strictly yours.
you are part of the problem, using the wrong pronouns, "My Money"
I got married when I was 19 and was married 13 years. We only had one bank account, which he ALWAYS drained. I will never put ALL my money in someone else’s hands again.
This could have easily been avoided if you did a better job vetting the guy. You were not on the same page financially and you obviously couldn't trust the guy. It sounds to me like you just rushed into marriage. In a proper marriage this doesn't happen. Take your time next time and choose wisely. If you don't have it in you to share your finances with your husband you shouldn't get married at all. Having trust issues going into a marriage is a disaster.
@@Luffa187 thank you, Captain Obvious. 🤣🤣🤣 No 19 year old is prepared for marriage, but that’s my 43 year old self talking. Hindsight is always 20/20, eh? And I don’t plan on getting married again. I have my hands full enough raising my children without taking on the burden of another marriage.
@@crazeekids9744 Fair enough. We all do mistakes. I won't get married either. I'm not comfortable sharing my finances with anyone and it's stories like your that makes me terrified. I'm sorry he betrayed your trust and did that to you.
My wife and I recently got married, we used both our incomes to wipe out MY debt even downgrading HER car to pay it off faster.. Therefore paying no more interest and leaving more money for US moving forward. This is a humbling but also rewarding process. when you combine money, you can do more with it. Now that my business has grown we are saving fast and plan on buying our first home later this year. Marriage is awesome!
My mom is a gold digger.
Turbo Lab America 😂🤣
Most women are.
@@wmurray003 Some men are too when all they want to do is play video games all day.
Is it person or goofball above me? A bread dough that been heat up too long about to explode?
@@sctony7116 It's a goofball sandwich now and you're the innards! 🤪
I'm a newlywed! This is awesome advice!!
One year later, still married?
I disagree, always keep finances separately and figure out a joint account to put money into monthly. One small mishap within your relationship and your partner can drain you dry.
Marriages who do that are not "all in". it's a pseudo-joint account. My ex-wife did that as part of our plan, and yeah it made it easier once the Divorce happened. So if you want to speed up the process, then a preudo-joint account is the way to go.
It sounds like you don't trust your partner.
What you are saying makes the most sense if you are making a business decision... but marriage is a moral decision not just a financial one
Wow! The comments are astounding. I'm engaged and we decided to have one joint account but two separate checking accounts for personal purchases. This is making me rethink that decision. I like the dependability and openness of the decision to combine finances. We can still have independence and reliability with each other in marriage and in money. It's a decision of vulnerability and trust. We have to trust each other in finances as well as everything else.
Christina Boemanns we have joint account for bills but for other things separate that way it prevents overdraft i keep track of my amount he his. But the account can have money transferred free
Rebecca Bell I'm glad you have a system that works for you two!! That does sound convenient. I'll be married in 2 months so we talked about it again and agreed to have one joint account. I think it will helps us with budgeting as well, it's a lot of work to keep track of two accounts versus one. I think that will be our best option!!
Dave is right and my first marraige was combined finances. I am going into another marraige now and anticipated doing combined until I was suddenly paying all the bills because we moved and my fiance can't find a living wage job. This doesn't look like it's ever going to change in our new area. Kind of caught between a rock and hard place. Plandemic really messed up our livelihood. If we move back to a state with more jobs for him than I could end up out of work and certainly our housing is going way up.
Dave certainly has an old school approach to marriage and finances..with the divorce rates going crazy nowadays it’s harder than it sounds to just combine everything. It makes it discouraging to want to take a chance by putting everything into the other person.
I hear what you're saying and I can totally sympathize with that. However, Dave's old school approach is what had always been successful in the past and that's how marriages worked. I strongly believe that the reason marriages aren't working today like they used to, is because of the mindset that people have that they need to keep things separate or that they need to have certain protections in place for them themselves, in case things go south in their marriage. People are naturally becoming more and more self -serving and self -preserving, rather than giving them themselves and everything they have to the person they marry. Essentially, society is simply becoming more selfish, which is destroying marriages. And the more marriages that are destroyed because of this type of mindset and behavior, the more people will adopt that mindset to protect themselves from a potentially bad marriage. It just creates a vicious cycle that is reflected in how much divorce we see now.
The divorce rate is also related to women's financial independence. The divorce rates have increased, not because in the past relationships worked better, but because there was a financial dependency. Women wouldn't even own property, not to mention studying in the university! They were trapped in their marriage even if it was abusive, because they didn't have financial independence.
Different financial approaches work for different people in my opinion
@@AngelicaTsakmakidou🤔
@@AngelicaTsakmakidou women initiate over 60% of the divorces and it's closer to 90% when the woman makes more than the man. Less than 10% of divorces have anything to with abuse and mostly the couples grow apart and bail (usually the woman). Dave's advice is sound if you want a marriage for the long haul. If you're just in it for yourself than by all means don't listen...
Sounds good but what about when one side has major desires that affect the budget and account?
Sometimes, boundaries and responsibilities need to be in place, or allowances/ spending money etc.
True. I always wonder about that. What if one person wants to buy something and the other thinks its a bad idea. Someone is going to have to sacrifice their happiness for the other. I doubt they will find a way to agree on it
How to combine finances after marriage: she begins to show you who she really is, finally files for divorce, takes over half your stuff and home. Now your finances are combined in her bank account and wallet - taa daaaa!! Combined!!
Do money married couples that I work with have separate finances, you go so much farther when you are 100% on the same page!
Freedom In A Budget different account for money allocation. One for bills. His for his expenses. Mine for my expenses and groceries. Money is shared but not in one account
I’ve always been against combining finances for myself but slowly opening to it.
Just make sure that you and your spouse are transparent with your $$$.
That dog joke had me loling! 🤣
finding a man who thinks like that is rare
finding a woman that will honer and respect that is even more rare
Whatever Ramsey, your wife loves your money!
I agree ...I saw many of my friends abandonned with nothing after being home stay mums for years when their husbands got crazy with 20 years old girls ....that's a pitty and that's not fair ....
@Fritzi Lang you should have stuck to making movies.
They had low character to begin with, yet they married them anyways. It was only a matter of time. Choose wisely and treat kindly.
Joint savings and checking and then ONE separate account either checking OR savings. I don't want to see what my husband is buying for me. Anything over $100 must be discussed.
My husband said the same thing: he wants to sometime surprise me with gifts & if all the money is one account, I’ll see the purchase. 😒 So do you all just have a agreed amount going into the separate account?
@@talethiaowens-wand8079 yeah I would go with that. In budget meetings say okay this money is yours to spend and this is mine. Have 1 joint account for bills and auto pays etc then a his and her account. Check out Jordan Page FunCheaporFree and she has a video about the 7 bank accounts everyone should have and in another video called how to budget + get out of debt! (The simple way). Both videos are long (like half an hour long) but has great content.
We have an arrangement pretty much like that for all the money we made and make since pooling finances (getting a civil partnership, which is equal to a marriage, next year). It's nice to be able to give the other something that wasn't theirs to begin with :-) And also useful that he can decide to spend a ridiculous amount on a coffee maker and I can invest something into a risky venture without the other being bothered or worried. But the vast majority of our money is pooled. :-)
Thank you all the useful information.
This is how we do it, we have separate accounts, we split the household bills in half. First we pay household, then personal debt and what’s left on each of our accounts we spend or save. My wife has 60000 student loans, I have nothing, she has a 23 year old daughter that is hardly independent and I think she helps her with money. My finances don’t have to suffer because of that! So we keep it separate, no fights, no domination of accounts... I don’t have to explain why or ask for permission to buy what I want if I can afford it! Two independent people living together...that’s how we like it
Happy spouse happy house, it’s not all about the women
Yeah I am not getting married. Definitely not going to split my finances lol.
westener83 amen.
westener83 his explanation has now made me question if I'm marriage material lol
Neema Boke well enjoy you singleness
westener83 just hide your money and act broke, thats my plan
you're not splitting, your combining.
I am not married but live with my boyfriend of nearly 5 years and we combine everything. The only thing we have sepert is my house. I got it all payed for after my mom got ill and my parents had to move. I own the house. But we have one income. We all pay our bills together. It is more important that the bills get payed then how much each one pays. We have two children together and it works. We also budget. But we don't have that much income since we are both students. So putting money aside is hard. We also are not married because my boyfriend who is older than me is in debt (I am 24 and he nearly 29) so we are working to get him out of this debt. Btw I am from Germany.
I can’t believe that the big diamond ring princess is incapable of picking up after the Dog, and Dave, the bread winner has to do it. WOW WOW WOW, Dave must to love that woman…
Thank you, Dave, for making this issue perfectly clear!
I'm not a fan of this method. I certainly don't want to see hard earned family money going to $200/wk in shoes or some other such frivolity. Having a "your money", "my money", "our money" approach keeps the peace more often.
After five years of marriage i found out the one thing that makes marriage difficult is financial struggle, its not like my husband and i aren’t making money it’s just we barely have time for each other and there’s no amusement or new event it’s just work and the kids and that was fine but i wanted more..then i heard of a financial advisor who basically makes money for me and right now i have close to 100grand with her in my portfolio. now we pay for our vacation without breaking a sweat or losing sleep.
thanks for this miss, you literally just saved my marriage
i was literally just worried about the exact same thing. may i know your FA please it’s urgent?
thanks for this miss, you literally just saved my marriage
@@emilyhowe3359 sure i get it hun. her name is Lucy Maria Koss, i googled her and reached out to her from her website. Goodluck with your wedding hun!
@@feliciasherbert989 how if you don't mind me asking?
Wow I love how sure he is and puts those selfish feelings down so fast. You are either growing together or growing apart. I hope i find some I can love that way
I’ve been married 14 years now and we have always had separate accounts and it always worked... now we are trying to save for a house. Zero debt but we are lower earners. Now moving our money to savings which is in my name just seems to have too many transfers. Somehow I stumbled on this.
Joint account, just make sure everything is paid by Dave's recommended percentages. And make sure the wife is taken care of. Happy wife, happy life.
J Santiago how do I find a man that actually believes in this mentality? Lol
shan wow Because most men want to be treated as equals and not be subservient to their wives.
People are always so concerned strictly about the wife; if as a man, I'm not happy and it cannot or will not improve, i am out the door.
Happy man happy plan what's about that
I totally agree. As a banker I've seen the ease of transaction with couples doing business jointly. Most importantly in the event of unexpected death. No problem to access the money
I agree. I also believe it makes each partner accountable to the other.
Dave she got the point stop
People HAVE to sit down before getting married and work out the details and have a plan. It's easier to walk away before marriage than after. Listening to Dave has taught me that you MUST come together and agree on a plan 100% before you become one under both law and God.
Shared accts are good in theory but it just seems like there should be some controls in place just in case someone is irresponsible or just flat out untrustworthy. Sadly, this is sometimes not revealed until after the "I do's". Maybe have anything beyond an agreed upon dollar amount require both signatures. That way neither spouse can just clear out the account and move to Venezuela because they're mad.
You’re from Venezuela?
Jonathan Huerta might be because the non extradition?!
ncA&Tstate why would you marry someone who you don't trust or is irresponsible???? That's stupid.
Full House Homesteaders W/ Homestead Mama Even irresponsible people manage to get married. 🙃 But what I like about learning from Dave is that he promotes handling those situations and being open about finances with your spouse...hopefully people get to the bottom of it sooner than getting a call from Venezuela
oh the things you say: "you're not a joint venture"
"you can play this podcast for him, it's on the Internet now"
Yep this is why you have to be careful on who you marry because if you marry someone with a spending problem or someone who doesn't think they should contribute then you will be pretty upset.
Wheres the video on how to get a wife so I can watch that first before I watch this video?
I'm 23 and getting married in March. And this is what I keep telling my fiance but she sounds like this woman that she wants one person handling it, instead of doing things together. This woman on the phone didn't want this answer, she was looking for something different to get her way.
I'm about to get married and this video is changing my stance on marital finances.
It is easy to join both of you when it is your first marriage, but for second, it is kind of hard. It takes a lot of trust and love and submission
Yes!!
Dave explains it so well... Marriage should not be one controlling the other!
I’m with you, that’s why you need to be careful with the person you marry 😂... I’m working overtime and him the minimum 😆 but he want to go party every weekend 😝 off of our $ 🤪
Excwllent reasoning. I will NEVER get married because of it. Thank you for making it clear to me.
"Oh okay"
This is what my boyfriend and I talk about In going to make a lot more than him and I don't want a joint savings only a joint account for shared expenses but even so I'll be paying for basically for everything percentage wise.
Kelly B I guess you miss the point by a tiny bit. The point was if $150 get in the house, it doesn't matter who it came from, who made most of it. it's just $150 that will take care of the house and everyone in it and that includes clothes, entertainments for both parties. When people ask me how much I make, $xXxX, which is the amount me and my friend brings together.
Kelly Best89 ..smart move lady, I would do the same with my future wife.
Elegant Male you do your finances like you're married to your friend?
Big difference, he’s your boyfriend not your husband.
My fiance and I are getting married in a month and we are planning to combine finances. Do you have tips for changing mindsets from individual to combined? We are both in our mid-30s and getting married for the first time. Also we both started making our own money 20+ years ago so combining everything is a big lifestyle change.
Is good be only one since the couple married and love each other and God’s name
It's great if you both work together on your future, but it's a nightmare if one of you is a predator. How many men have been cleaned out before the wife left them? You make yourself forever vulnerable this way, it's not rainbows and roses to just do this. Idk, it's hard to see how this method can possibly protect you from someone who is financially irresponsible.
I was married to someone like that but the first wrong decision was to marry that type of person in the first place. Go in marriage preparing for failure is exactly a contributor to failure. That being said i haven't overcome yet and still working to reach that trust point.
I'm really not in a position to know either way. However, I believe everyone goes into their marriage enthusiastically thinking they did marry the right person. How could you prevent being blind sighted other than to prepare/protect yourself against failure? Like preparing for a hurricane that you hope never comes your way. Idk
@@tiffanyliu9841 A person doesn't just become a predator, in that type of situation there were signs being ignored. In that case you are just as much to blame, you married someone you weren't evenly yoked with.
Good point, and they say the person you married is not the person you divorced. As “financial” advise Dave is giving out this is absolutely terrible, no hedge or even basic regard for risk. If one party does something stupid...game over your poor now.
So glad that me and my wife never combined finances. More stuff to fight over than we're already dealing with!
we have to keep ours separate too, she just doesn't have the will power to be financially responsible
@@drunclecookie216 Just curious as what happens if she can't pay Her bills? Does she just get behind or do you give her a loan?
@@pep590 I pay them if she can't
@@drunclecookie216 Good for you Ryan. I think one needs to do that, but how can you watch someone you love sink without helping.
@@pep590 what are you talking about. she's not sinking. we basically share expenses, but she doesn't have direct access to my savings account because she doesn't have the will power to not drain it if she did. spending is like an addiction to her. she pays the smaller bills like electricity and utilities out of her checking account, and I pay the higher bills like the mortgage and credit card balance from my separate account.
I know I'm late to this video but just recently this topic came up amongst my girlfriends friends and family. Some told her that they thought it was amazing that she came to me before asking to spend money on extra purchases that weren't needed. Others thought i was controlling her till they found out that i verified my purchases with her as well. I make more than her by about 2 times but I consider it OUR money. It's crazy to me that this is even a problem.
The only problem i have seen where it required separate accounts was if one of the couple had spending issues and the second bank account was used to make sure they didn't spend bill money. Even then though it still remains a problem.
@Amusis Yeah that had no bearing on a relationship my dude. My fiance and I don't look at either as inferior to the other. Neither 1 of us is the "leader" because we both see each other as equals.
@Amusis How so?
My friends parents have a basic business relationship when it comes to finances. They don’t share finances. He pays for his stuff and she pays for hers. He pays the house payment and she pays the utilities.
@Jarod Armstrong ?
PRE-NUPPPPPPPPPP
Period!!!!!!
Just here to say I’m guilty of being married but not wanting to share a bank account, I pay some things and he pays others. We really need to sit down and discuss this bc I see a lot of people saying that they’re much happier they did so
My parents have separate finances
"It is as much hers as it is mine". Nailed it.
Preach it. More people need to understand this!
how do u buy them gift if its all combined
What if one is irresponsible with money!? If it is ‘we’ one spends what one makes!
This is so sad... they should've totally had this lined out before they walked down the aisle. My husband and I have everything combined and honestly it was one of the very first things we did. Now, he's more of a spender and I'm more of a saver so not to say it's always been smooth sailing. Yes, we were two and we became one flesh when we got married, but yet you are still talking about two personalities and two perspectives on things, but you just communicate and work it out. Meanwhile, from the start we looked at our individual strengths and weaknesses and we put them to our advantage as a couple. For example, he doesn't like to keep track of the finances and I feel more secure if I do it and I also tend to be more organized out of the two of us so I handle paying the bills and such, but that does not mean he doesn't know what's going on. By the same token, there are times I'm overwhelmed with something and not sure the best course of action and he will know exactly what to do to get us where we need to go financially or otherwise, and personally I love the fact that it's not all on me and that I have that partner. We make decisions together..both of us giving 100% of ourselves to our relationship financial or otherwise... we will be married 10 years 5/15/20.
This is amazing!