What Is Destroying Male Friendships?
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- Опубліковано 27 лют 2024
- Thoughts? Watch the full episode here: • How To Build a NON-ANX...
This was a great convo, and one of the more stirring parts for me was John's perspective on what's killing male friendship. From lack of in-person connection to unresolved generational trauma and more. Listen in, team.
Dr. John Delony earned his Bachelor of Arts in humanities and psychology at Lubbock Christian University and his Masters of Education in higher education administration from Texas Tech University. He went on to earn two PhDs from Texas Tech University-one in counselor education and supervision, and the other in higher education administration.
After spending over twenty years in crisis response and leading students in higher education (and finding real solutions and freedom in his own wellness journey), John knew he wanted to help as many people as possible heal from their past trauma and live whole, connected lives. He now writes, speaks and teaches on relationships, mental health, anxiety and wellness. He also hosts The Dr. John Delony Show where he answers callers’ questions about all of the above, and serves as co-host of The Ramsey Show where he helps unpack the psychology behind finances.
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-Twitter: / johndelony
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1- the Collab I didn’t know I wanted! Psyched for this!
2- Powerful story! That is the work!!!
Personally I think it's the business-oriented mindset that pulls men apart. I've been observing men and I can tell unless a man does business with another man (one way or another) then they won't spend time together. Things got little worse in this regard since inflation went up and purchasing power of people's money went down. Now more than ever man won't spend time with another man unless there's a business involved. Either you're his client, business partner, mentor or potential customer.
I've recently spoken with one man I consider a friend though we don't spend a lot of time together. When we do we have a great time together. I asked him "How many close friendships with other men you have ?"
He said none. He's mostly alone building his business. He said he's got business partners but they're not necessarily friends. They're just good for business. Plus we need to also consider that a lot of men work 2 jobs, some 3 jobs these days to support somewhat good life.
Very insightful. I'll have to think about this more.
Crazy and great to see John on here
Thank you I needed to hear this. Great topic
I have a 2 & 4 yo boys. I just recently stumbled across the same notion explained here in this video about my son's seeing me and my camaraderie with other men. I just explained this to my wife how important it is.
What about 'tolerance' and 'frustration'? I'm referring not exclusively to men but broadly to our society.
Tolerance: I feel people are increasingly isolated because when you're alone, you don't have to deal with anyone or come to an agreement on what to eat or what to do. You don't have to listen to other opinions, especially those you deem 'stupid.' I've seen many friends avoid long-time friends over one topic they strongly disagree on, such as a war fought in countries they can't even point out on a map!
More and more I feel our society have low tolerance towards kids, you read more and more articles on how places/restaurants want to become child-free.. Like they are some sort of off thing you bring along that destroys all.
Frustration: No one is used to waiting anymore. Kids are slow because they're learning and they are repetitive, and I see people losing their patience over this. The lack of ability to face frustration and deal with it without throwing a tantrum is something I see lacking in both adults and teens.
Anyway, I feel that men are having more difficulty with friendship than women in general, also because they don't seem to want to take 'the first step' to call a friend. I've spoken with a couple of male friends of mine, and they said things like 'I don't want to look needy' or 'I don't think he would be free to meet up anyway. As well as (and I'm Italian, so this might be normal in Italy but not in other countries.. ) moms would go to the park and talk with random-stranger moms, even dads, but dads would be way more careful to talk with a male-stranger.. at least this is what I see.
Tolerance and frustration are definitely part of it in the USA. I don't enjoy spending time with someone who often belittles me and says I am an idiot for believing something and says bad things about me because of it. I definitely have personally experienced this many times in the USA. I have run into these problems regardless of gender, and regardless of political leanings or religious beliefs. Politics and religion in particular are difficult to deal with when it comes to other people in the USA. I would much rather talk about sports or chemistry or physics or something other than social issues and my own life with anyone else because I find they are very inconsiderate a lot of the time. I try to be more patient, but it definitely gets in the way of a sense of belonging.
In addition, the USA has a mindset in many places that is very independent and libertarian. People want their own house away from other people. They want the government to leave them alone, and they want to have their own land. They want things to be fast and efficient, and so they skip out on interacting with other people as much as possible. As such, we have lost many third places. People don't want to go into the public and interact with other people because they view them as a threat, or at the very least uncomfortable to be around. The USA has a lot of different cultures in it, and so people from different backgrounds struggle to interact with each other and this adds to the barriers to interaction with other people.
Not everywhere and everyone in the USA is like this, but a LOT of them are like this.
Two of my favourite content creators in one place! Mind blown 🤯
Stellar, thank you both.
Interesting topic!
Best video on UA-cam! Every father needs to hear this. I know I needed to hear it.
This episode reminded me of a movie I watched recently called "Aftersun".
5:59
In my experience I have seen women literally creating chaos between men and twisting their thoughts giving rise to battles between them. Some women do out of spite, some love drama, some due to control issues. Men should learn how a woman's brain works. They are surely going to save themselves from tonnes of disappointment.
Coming from the business world I can tell you you have very very few friends. Most of them are backstabbers trying to ride to the top with you
3:08
3:52
Always talking about male frienship but what about female??
Are you kidding? Look up friendship problems and 99% of the info will be about females.
When there is this little friendship amongst men. Its not something being destroyed, it simply not wanted. As soon as men get GFs wives & kids etc, its just over. There is not computation for friendship, it is not in the program. (These guys talked so much about themselves... on topic much?)
Easy answer. Narcissism