Body Language Analyst Reacts to Tom Holland's AMAZING Communication Skills.
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- Опубліковано 21 лип 2023
- Tom Holland recently opened up about his addiction to alcohol and how he overcame on the "on purpose" podcast with Jay Shetty. But what verbal and non-verbal details make him an extremely effective communicator and what was the psychological key to him overcoming his addiction? Find out now!
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TIMESTAMPS
01:22 Tom Holland Body Language
11:43 Most Misunderstood Gesture in Body Language
16:40 Why Does Tom Holland do This Gesture?
20:10 Tom Holland Opens up about Alcohol Addiction
25:35 Tom Holland's Communication Skills
34:20 How did Tom Holland Quit Drinking?
#behavioralpsychology #bodylanguage #psychology #thebehavioralarts #tomholland #jayshetty #howtoreadbodylanguage #howtoreadpeople #nonverbalcommunication - Розваги
Hypnotherapy is game-changing. While I don't drink, I can relate to Tom in recognizing when it's time for a life change. I had a debilitating fear of flying for most of my life... to the point where I was losing sleep days before a trip, having full-on panic attacks on airplanes (that involved numbness in my limbs), and vomiting. Yea, not fun for me or anyone around me. It only got worse as I got older. After trying numerous types of anxiety medication, I realized I needed to try something different because what I REALLY wanted was to overcome my phobia of flying. All of my research led me to Spidey. The session wasn't like how it's portrayed in the movies - there's no pocket watch swinging back and forth until you fall into a deep sleep. It was about me visualizing and connecting two different parts of myself with guidance and structure from Spidey. And then replacing those instinctual feelings I had toward flying with feelings of confidence and bravery from other aspects of my life. I was actually able to disassociate from my habit of fear! He literally retrained my brain on a subconscious level. This year, I've flown more than I ever have in my life. And guess what? NO INCIDENTS. No anxiety at all, no crying, no vomiting, no nothing. My husband couldn't believe it... and honestly, it's insane. It's insane how good life can be now. THANK YOU SPIDEY!!!!!!!!
Rachael!!!! So glad you commented! Your results were amazing and I’m so glad you’ve been travelling in peace since our session ❤️ 👏🏻 🤗. Thanks for sharing your experience with hypnotherapy and I’m happy you pointed out how it’s nothing like we see in movies and it’s more about visualizing exercises and finding ressources to tackle a problem at the root. Hope all is well. ❤️
I wish so much that I could take advantage of hypnotherapy. I have agoraphobia and haven't left my house in years without a LOT of prescription anti-anxiety drugs, and only on rare occasions if I have to go to the doctor once a year. I've tried hypnotherapy several times with different therapists and it never works. I truly try very hard to get into that state but I just can't. One therapist said that no matter how hard they try, some people just can't be hypnotized. Spidey, do you have any advice for someone like me? I would love to hear what you think might help. Thank you!
@@alienangel777 sending you love ❤️
@rachael.cecelia Wow that's so wonderful. I'm very happy for you because that has to have been extremely difficult to experience for you as well as the people around you feeling like they couldn't help. I had no idea that Spidey did this sort of thing. I really wish that I could afford to get hypnotherapy for my smoking habit which is even more dangerous now because I have COPD. Everytime I think about quitting I crave cigarettes more than I normally would. I've tried 4 times to quit the last time was so awful. I made it for 9 days I was so miserable and I had so much anxiety I couldn't sleep for literally 5 nights in a row. I gave up had a cig then finally fell asleep and slept like a baby. Have not tried since then that was 2 years ago.
@@alienangel777I'm so sorry that you've had to deal with agoraphobia for such a long time. I was there once for several years a long time ago. I was able to seek help through a psychiatrist for that and other issues. I was able to overcome the agoraphobia once I worked through my other problems.
The only advice I can offer is for you to not give up. Keep researching and looking for new ways. Hang in there.
Ok I just thought of something. Have you tried meditation? I mean the real kind where you get instructed by a certified teacher? It provides so many benefits. It certainly can't hurt. Good luck
I adore him. He's incredibly talented, kind, bright and self-aware. He has also always been humble and self-deprecating, never too proud or vain to talk about his flaws and insecurities.. All wonderful qualities in a man. In anyone, really.💙
Yes. He seems like a really lovely person.
He is amazing in Crowded Room. Incredible acting.
@@msherry5except for the gross scenes.😢
Hi Spidey! Totally unrelated to this video, but you helped me out this week and I just wanted to say “thank you!”.
My supervisor at work asked if she could “have a word with me”. This immediately made me anxious and put me on the defensive because despite being confident that I’d done nothing wrong, she had been making me feel like I wasn’t exactly her favourite co-worker. Following her to her office, I realised I was tense and had my arms crossed. You briefly popped into my head ringing a metaphorical behaviour alarm bell and I uncrossed my arms. It felt kind of unnatural but relaxed me a bit and boosted my confidence. I didn’t want my supervisor to see me as being aggravated, cross or defensive. It was like opening a door and saying “look, I’m at ease, I’m happy, I have nothing to hide, I don’t need to protect myself”. Even if I didn’t exactly feel that way.
As it it turned out, she wanted to apologise for being off with me, wipe the slate clean and make sure that I was ok. It’s still a little tense because we’re both over-trying now, being more aware of each other’s feelings, but had I gone into that conversation seeming defensive I don’t think it would have gone anywhere near as smoothly as it did.
So, thank you for teaching me about the behavioural arts and drilling these things into my mind. 🙏🏻 After watching your channel for over a year, I’m glad that I’m finally able to start noticing some of these things in real time. Social interactions aren’t always easy for me and the knowledge you impart really helps. Thank you. 🙏🏻🥰
Boom!!! So proud of you for being able to slow down and assess the situation and handle it with confidence and strength! Amazing story! Thanks for sharing ❤️
Thank YOU for posting this. My dad recently texted my husband (not me) that he would like to have dinner with the two of us because he has a proposal for us. It has made me angry and put me on edge all week. But going in confident and with open body language will really help. Thanks for sharing!
I vote for more content like this. Learning the full spectrum of body language and communication from all kinds of situations is beneficial for everyone. Don't get me wrong, I love the deception detection side of it, but positive, uplifting interactions are really refreshing. I'm not into celebrities, but this was a really great, authentic interview. Thanks, Spidey!
I really love this episode in particular! Normally we only see ‘how to detect lies’ or deception stuffs, improving communication skills from spidey isn’t only refreshing but also educational! Please do these kind of content more!
This is such a good episode🎉 I also enjoy that it's more of a regular video that Spidey is reacting to and not a supercharged / sensational video, it's a nice breather
I second that!
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it 😊
@@Bearcrapsinwoodsi usually do ignore celebrity gossip videos because its usually just over reaction and low iq but spidey makes it work it with high iq and low reactions.
@@TheBehavioralArts I love that you always touch back to some of the basics of facial and/or hand and shrug expression, but never treat your audience like we are stupid or somehow incapable of learning, understanding, and implementing what you share. Not only are you not judgmental with your subject material (but I still love it when you give opinions about the actual discussions), you are not judgmental about your audience and you always encourage us to distance ourselves when making our own analyses!
My son is a big Tom Holland fan. I'm going to encourage him to watch this video. I think it's good to see the human side of your idols. 😊
Tom strikes me as the type of guy who is always open and receptive and willing to grow and learn and change and be better for himself and for others. I look at him and it makes me feel inspired to do better as well.
Spidey covering spiderman? Best combo ever!
Tom Holland seems like good folk. I would have never considered practicing these skills on an interview like this but I gotta say, this was so insightful. You’ve some of the best content out there, thank you!
I didn't think I could like Tom even more than I already do.
I lost my little brother to alcoholism related issues 5 years ago, so I understand how difficult it is to get free of the influence and accessibility of booze. It's a truly insidious disease, and I'm glad Tom worked on getting free of it before it was too late. A lot of people don't understand how someone so young could struggle so much with alcohol dependence, but believe me, it can happen to anyone of any age, ESPECIALLY if you have a predisposition towards addiction. I really appreciate Tom's willingness to speak out about his struggles, as many people end up suffering in silence.
I can't believe he made it 6 months sober... I can't last a week. A day is hard... I was sober 6 months on a psych ward because I kinds felt cocooned there. Hard to explain. As soon as I was out I was back to drinking. Just out of fear... losing the cocoon.
So sorry for the loss of your brother! Helplessly witnessing a loved one succumb to addiction is heart wrenching. Hopefully having someone in the public eye sharing their struggles will help others see that they need help.
I simply love everything you put out there. Not being judgemental is something you show in your every video, and come to think of it, I think it's why yours is my favorite youtube channel. You put out so much positivity that it's a pleasure to watch and learn from every single one of your videos, regardless of the topic. You just can't go wrong in choosing a subject!
🤗 thanks so much
Completely agree. @spidey I so much enjoy the differences in your body language training as a profession used for interrogation, mentalismo, etc. and my training for live performances, designing worlds for actors in theatre, for acting, dancing, etc. Seeing where the two approaches merge and diverge makes me really think! You can’t possibly know how much watching your channel means to me❤️
I'm a therapist and really enjoyed this video. Tom seems like a well adjusted, truly kind person!
I am a Certified Professional Animal Behaviorist and the author of “the Language of Dogs“ which is a visual encyclopedia of canine body language - as I was watching this video I was struck… Though I shouldn’t be surprised… About how much of the conversation in my seminars sounds exactly like yours just insert human instead of dog! The behaviors like closed mouth and lip licking me similar things in both species for example. The concept of baseline is incredibly important as well as watching for behaviors occurring in clusters not just an individual yawn or head turn for example.
It would be fascinating to talk about the comparisons sometime!
As an animal lover I second this!
I think a comparison is a brilliant idea. Especially since so many people will say that your pet is a mirror of you. I have greyhounds. Talk about truly animated expression ❤️
@Lmapmpmfa greyhounds are my favourite dogs. ❤
You know, it just feels good. To witness two great guys talk in such an open way and then you appreciate the communication between them, such good vibes all the way. I just appreciate this healthy kind of masculinity, feels so refreshing, beautiful. ❤
This episode is like a SPA!! You have the three most soothing voices in a single video. I accept I’m totally biased 😂 as Jay Shetty is one of my favorite speakers, Tom Holland is simply adorable and Spidey can actually tell me that the moon is made out of cheese on that calm delivery of his and I’ll believe it 😂 It’s an amazing episode Spidey, thanks for another great one!
Haha. Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it 😊
Oh please, Jay is as con-man as the come.
I think it’s good for society to hear some people don’t drink because they noticed it wasn’t a healthy thing for them. You don’t have to be a raging alcoholic to decide it isn’t for you.
Kudos to Tom for speaking freely about his struggles, and great breakdown.
I loved the positive slant in this analysis! And I absolutely adore Tom Holland.
This analysis helped by understand why he seems so authentic and genuine and overall decent guy.
Quitting alcohol is a giant step/leap in personal growth and evolution.
Alcohol keeps you stagnant and unaware while it poisons your body and hijacks rationale and dignity.
I love your show Spidey!
❤
I completely agree👌 I feel that quiting alcohol helps to unlock all of the good and potential in your life!
I loved Tom prior to your analysis, but never understood why exactly. What a humble kind genuine man he is. Thanks Spidey for such a positive review! Love this!
For those who haven't seen Infinity War, 10:13 isn't really much of a spoiler. It happens relatively early in the film, and Tony Stark does it so non-chalantly because, in the grand scheme of things, it's really inconsequential.
I noticed that Tom gets progressively more comfortable during the interview. By the time he’s talking about Chris Ramsey, he has a leg bent up in front of him which no doubt means his foot is on the chair. He is using both hands to talk still instead of hugging his leg. This, and sitting with one leg under you are generally positions that indicate confidence and comfort with oneself.
My number 1 response as a therapist: Thank you for sharing that. I'm sure it wasn't easy to share and I'm grateful you trusted me with that.
Haha. Tell me you’re good at your job without telling me you’re good at your job! 🤗 love it and I know just how powerful that can be
My shrinks just throwing me a line 😂😂😂
@@NicolaMaxwell maybe. Personally, I don't bullshit people and truly do appreciate their courage to share hard things with a complete stranger.
I’d love Tom to watch this as your analysis is so affirming of him. I watched the interview with Jay and appreciated his openness and how he gave so much time, rather than a brief snap shot. I find him to be authentic, humble, and evolving as a lovely young man…I’d be proud to be called his mother! 🐑🐑🇳🇿🇳🇿NZ
I actually don’t think Tom was being judgmental when he said one beer equals trouble, even if his tone was slightly suggestive there. I think he was reminding himself that even one beer can open up a door that is hard to close if you’re suffering from an addiction and it’s better to stay away all together if you’re the type like him to want to keep drinking after saying just one beer.
One is too many and a thousand is never enough. AA
I have so much respect for Tom Holland. He isn't perfect but he is open about his flaws and I've never seen any examples of him being judgmental or mean to anyone ever.
As you discuss the lack of eyebrow movement when Tom shows his surprise at Jay attending dance as well, I noticed something else. After I tried many times (as did you, Spidey) to gain control of my eye and eyebrow movements and literally say something without using my eyebrows as punctuation, I realized that I didn’t have success until I changed the inflection in my voice. So I decided to say what Tom was saying just as Tom had said it, and use what body movements I could see just as Tom had used his. And wow! What a difference it made in the ease of control I had over my facial responses. I had forgotten how hard we trained our faces in school in order to say something sincere without giving away our full emotions but also without making ourselves monotone or unapproachable. Tom clearly has been able to take these very hard learned lessons and incorporated them into his real life personality.
This is not to say that he is being disingenuous in the least. Rather, it has become a communication skill that allows him to show real interest in what his conversation partner has to say. It actually seems to keep him from making the mistake so many of us do and that is the mistake of taking over the conversation entirely. Rather Tom’s approach let’s him pause in an inviting manner that says “Hey man! This isn’t all about me. I really want to know if you can relate.” I suspect Tom would rephrase himself if he thought he’d lost someone along the way.
First let me say, I don’t follow celebrities. The only reason I watched this is because it was on your channel. I was not disappointed. What a positive interview. Thanks, Spidey! As always, I learned something AND discovered (IMHO) another good human. ❤
Well said! I feel the exact same way. This was really heartwarming to watch.
As someone who has been sober over 10 years now ( and needed to be) I know that quitting is something you have to reach your own place of readiness for. Someone pushing you, before you're ready, will just create resistance. A supportive nudge, more like Tom Holland gave, is probably more appropriate. I also really liked how Spidey demonstrated the way there are no absolutes in body language, by showing the way head shaking and nodding ( when contrasting with the verbal statements) does not necessarily indicate deception l. I used to watch crime programmes and some of those led me to think that this always meant deception, until I began watching Spidey. A proper, open minded analysis with clear baseline knowledge is clearly so important, and shows that such as in life, we should not be quick to judge.
Quitting drinking was truly the best thing I ever could have done. Thank you so much for this one!!! You are amazing Spidey!!!
Chris is the reason I found you over 5yrs ago. I found Chris because I wanted to impress my kids with some simple tricks 😆. That's super exciting to hear he's watched Chris 😍.
as someone trying to stop drinking, it's hard
It’s so hard. It really is. Good luck, I wish you all the strength you need!
Try to change your focus. When you crave a drink don't focus/think about the drink. instead picture how good and how happy that you will feel doing something else.
You've got this brother, stay strong❤
It's hard, but you're strong! Don't give up! 🎉
I hear you it’s been a month and a half now since I stopped drinking daily I’ve had half a beer since then out to dinner with my father and it’s been really beneficial for me it’s helped me cut out coffee to get over the wake up and get going in the morning hump which has actually eliminated my anxiety which used to be a huge struggle every day and it’s opened me up to exercising occasionally getting to bed on time more often and waking up rested I’ve replaced it with really satisfying home cooked meals and really delicious healthy snacks and will still allow myself the occasional drink but I’ve turned from saying never again to saying nah not today and that has made the struggle with the cravings so much easier to overcome
Wishing you the best be strong
As a recovering alcoholic who stopped cold turkey, it isn't how to stop, it's why. For me, my young son at the time were sparring (fake fighting) and I had had a few. My distance was off and I accidentally popped him in the face. I still remember the look on his face to this day and the tears he was trying to hold back. I immediately took my drunk ass around the house and poured everything down the drain.
Lastly, stop listening to the lies in your head. Lies like, "You wont fit in" or "You wont be as funny" or "everybody is doing it so you're fine".
My wonderful grandmother once said, "There never is a happy ending at the bottom of a bottle."
Stand strong.
As they are discussing going to friends and teachers and other non-professional social support, I like Tom’s use of his hands as indicative of weighing the differences in how that support varies depending on from whom the support is coming. The hands go up and down alternately. Sometimes they stop at the same level. And they seem to move congruently with his descriptions of the support-the get on with it, the have a good cry, etc. Tom does these gestures as emphasis as to how very different other’s approaches to supporting a friend can be. I find that very interesting that his whole body describes the differences he discusses about others.
Cutting out alcohol is one of the best changes that you can make in your life! I would drink every day and I felt like I couldn't socialize without alcohol. since I've quit I've noticed a massive improvement in my energy, sleep, mood, & most importantly in my confidence. To anyone that wants to cut back on alcohol I want to tell you that it's easier than you think, you just need to find a reason that aligns with your core values and focus on how it will improve your life.
I used to drink socially. Then I had 1st hand interaction with 2 raging alcoholics that enabled each other. It wasn't even heartbreaking, it was disgusting. I never drank again after having dealt with them . The thought ,smell of alcohol makes me dry heave.
My husband is killing himself, me, the family, home, SLOWLY
@@Dani-ICU-RNI’m so sorry. I’m guessing you’re an ICU nurse? You know how this is going to end. You deserve better. Get out. Praying for strength for you.
@@Dani-ICU-RNt’s true you can leave and still love him. It’s healthy to protect yourselves. (My son died at 26 so - I know your pain unfortunately. His wife had to separate from him with their child, she kept my granddaughter healthy)
Very well said.
I was lucky to work in a building with a group of psychologists and they had lunchtime presentations so we got to learn about and experience biofeedback, hypnotherapy, meditation etc. decades ago where the culture in my location didn't really embrace alternative methods. Maybe being a middle child😮 is how I learned to be nonjudgemental and be the negotiator, which sent me into a career where that made my job easier and more satisfying. My only frustration is that after a brain injury I've noticed that I must be showing quick emotions and reactions on my face, to even the most mundane things like how food tastes, and haven't figured out how to retrain those circuits so it's not so obvious. I am so impressed with Tom Holland who I've just seen in several interviews. I don't watch action movies since I'm now noise sensitive but I can tell he must be a very gifted actor. Thanks for this one Spidey, it was not just informational but I found it uplifting too.
Realizing I've seen all of behavioral arts videos I think this is the most beneficial you tube content. Before I had seen far too biased analysts considering only a side of the behavior, but here Spidey explains how does the human mind work and it is FANTASTIC! From manipulation, deception to simple communication. I've found I better recognize peoples feelings in a social setting and what expressions to use to come across more likable. It's like an intuition work out since I can't always justify what feels off but I learn where to look. Thanks, the content is amazing.
No way Tom watches Chris Ramsay! Im so happy for him! I know hes been having a hard time and posted he was struggling with views so i hope this gives him some validation in knowing hes a great content creator and lifts his spirits ❤
It really came at the right time. Chris was so happy and it was a great boost if morale as he’s gearing up to launch his new channel
LOVE what you're saying about being non-judgemental, especially in relation to addictions.
He seems genuine. Some actors just seem off, like they are hiding something or in character. Quitting or reducing alcohol is always a good idea. Makes you fat and slow.
I just watched the interview and, at the end, had want you to do an analysis of TH behavior. A day later, here it is! Thank you so much for your amazing take on this.
When he starts talking about consuming alcohol, the cadence of his voice slows down. The pitch of his voice deepens. His answers become more direct and clipped (Yes.Yes.). He nods his head forward with chin coming down to chest but now without losing eye contact with Jay.
Then, he starts with the scratching of his head. As he scratches, his eyes start following toward where his scratching is. Then he starts speaking with the one hand that is doing the itching. Every time he uses the hand for emphasis with the edge of his palm, his eyes briefly follow it. He seems to be using the hand to assure himself that what his reasoning was was absolutely solid and finally gave him freedom of mind, body, and spirit.
Thank you so much Spidey for your immaculate care in creating the best possible content for us. Since i started watching your videos and learning about body language analysis, i became a lot more aware and focused on understanding body language in all its real life applications .
- Now my initial plan going into this interview was to watch it and use it for practice, at first i was focused more on Tom’s facial expression and nervous indicators and noticed the lip compressions but I’ve always seen him do this in interviews so i figured it was just his baseline with variations to how often he does it, he is naturally animated, then I started focusing on watching his body language but interestingly enough very quickly i started to genuinely enjoy listening to the conversation because of how genuine and self aware both Jay and Tom were.
- Tom doesn’t seem to be used to using deception as it’s not how he was raised and it doesn’t seem to be a quality he entertains in his human nature, and is a refreshing role model that Hollywood needs to have more off.
- I particularly liked the part where he mentioned he likes to look at parts of nature where there’s nothing man made i really relate to this statement as it’s something i myself always like to do to be able to absorb the magnificence of it all in it’s beautiful raw silent form and it’s another indication of how he appreciates peace but also how human interactions and man made objects are not a drive or inspiration for him. Also was interested about him quoting Christian Bale “If you don’t have my number you don’t know me well enough to have a problem with me” this is actually a pretty good lesson to teach others how to create and respect boundaries. As well as an indicator of how anxious he started to become when he’s around the Hollywood scene which probably played a factor in him deciding to stop drinking. i would like to add that this quote generally speaking applies to others and not only to celebrities, it’s just more necessary for individuals with such large following and exposure to create certain boundaries and also Tom pointed out that the version an actor or performer puts out into the world isn’t necessarily who they are in their private lives and so the version people/fans/viewers choose to like or dislike is not the realistic representations of themselves and yet he personally tries to be as authentic as he can be.
- Tom is naturally affected by life just like everyone else, he just tries not to let negativity get to him and i think his Self awareness is priority to him which admirable.
- Few things that i enjoyed about this interview one of which is that he is proud of choosing projects that helps send a positive energy and message into the world and genuinely believes he can help others with his art so not only choosing based on box office and financial success.
- The initially surprising part for me was that he suffered from dyslexia which after a quick thought process makes sense, that dyslexia affected him in more than one way, dare i say even humbled his nature at a younger age and pushed him to think long term and learn from his dad’s experiences. Tom might not have been Clever in school but to me he’s brilliant for choosing to learn the right lessons.
- Tom is a family man, related to how he spoke highly of his family i had a very similar childhood and parents who always stuck together no matter what even though they both work in the medical field as doctors and surgeons and even at some point travelled to the depth of the jungle in Zimbabwe and lived there to help people and one another become the best version of themselves and make a future for me their only daughter I was so proud of Tom hearing how much he values family and how he is working to better himself not just for him but for those around him who love and support him. Showed a lot of maturity on his part.
- The media outlets help celebs get their fame then fans help keep that fame alive, but this formula can and does get out of hand most the time and ends up creating trauma for those artists and therefore they create distance between them and the public as they grow. Most media outlets use rumors rather than news for their content and again people help fuel it instead of put out those hungry toxic fumes. If people stopped craving celeb gossip and started caring about what’s actually happening in the world those with power will no longer benefit from their exploitations of poorly educated minds and that’s something they can’t allow to happen.
- Huge respect for Jay Shetty for creating such safe space for his guests with how genuinely interested he is in what his guests has to say, he also has a humble air about him that i really appreciate as a viewer.
Much love Spidey 🙏🏼🌸
Beautifully written ❤️
I love how you emphasized the importance of eyebrows. Even when you don’t see well, you can interpret a lot from the eyebrows. Also, imagine eyebrows are so important a survival trait that domesticated dogs have eyebrows versus their wolf cousins. Eyebrows = puppy dog eyes = food = higher chance for survival.
I love your interpretation of Tom's body language, he seems very frank and straight forward, thus believable. I would have linked to do hypnotherapy when I stopped smoking. I kind of stop smoking in a similar way, taking a day at a time, then a week at a time, and so on. However, I caught mayself for many many ... so many years (al least 15!!) dreaming about smoking and feeling so guilty about it. . . I think it would have been great to do that kind of therapy on me, to understand what was happening at a subconcious level. Thank you for this video, I always enjoy listening to your interpretations and conclusions.
This was such a positive, uplifting video while still being incredibly informative. I would love more content like this, although I enjoy everything you do, thank you Spidey! What an incredible young man Tom Holland is and I wish him well for the future.
LOVE the addition of phycology to this video!
bravo to this young man for his authenticity and his willingness to be vulnerable. imagine how amazing life could be if we were all a bit more like him ❤
and the part about stopping judgment is on point, in my experience. it's a game changer
I'm glad I watched this particular video mainly because I have been told that anything I think can show on my face without saying 1 word and that's been since either elementary school or junior high. During the pandemic and we all had to wear masks people kept commenting about "the looks you're giving" to whomever or whatever and judging solely based on my eyes. A lot of times people can interpret my facial expressions in a way that is so off base and of course I don't see my face. I do a lot of the same gestures as Tom has shown and people might think I'm rude or lying or sometimes what I'm actually thinking! I'm 38 and clearly I'll be doing "me" looks forever! Great video; I really did enjoy all of it!
I loved this interview and re-watch it with your analysis just help me get tom even more. Ty
This was so helpful! Everyone needs a friend like Tom Holland. The non-judgement piece was great! I find it easy not to judge strangers but people I know who’ve lied to me flat out and have done things that harm loved ones, it takes conscious practice. Thanks for encouraging us to see that it’s worth the extra effort!!
Im an alcoholic who went from drinking casually in my late teens (i lived in Germany so it was legal) to 2 handles of liquor in a week in my 20s (in america) and now after years of self searching, ive got it down to about 2 drinks with dinner. Idk if i can completely stop
You say there isn’t much to analyze with the Chris Ramsey bit, but I think Tom’s body language with the leg bent up toward his chest and the fact that he is talking about ways he relaxes together say a lot.
A lot of times, in your content and in life, I see negative head movement with positive statements as a person's own disbelief in their statement, which actually confirms its positivity, oddly enough. And it almost always happens to be something personal, or personally related. For example, in this video with the interviewer talking about how good he feels while shaking his head, he's expressing his own disbelief at how much better he feels due to his choices. It almost seems like a subconcious way to connect with your audience. Like "I know it sounds unbeleivable. Even I can't believe it. But its true!".
Note that when Tom says “Really” when Jay says his Mum also had Jay take dance, Tom keeps his teeth to together as he speaks. By not fully forming the word with his mouth. It becomes much easier to keep the eyebrows from shooting up above the eyes into the forehead. It’s as if by using his mouth and inflection to communicate, he has effectively used every part of his face and everything in the face is smiling at the same time without losing ratio of spacing between any given physical part of the face so nothing is given away that Tom doesn’t want given away.
I quit drinking alcohol in February. It’s not easy. I commend him for taking about it and sharing this. Thanks for covering this interview Spidey!
Loved, loved, loved this!! Thank you Spidey, so interesting! Tom comes across likeable and genuine and at peace with himself, wish him all the best❤
Tom is the most expressive person I have ever met, you should definitely watch his new series, The Crowded Room, you will be surprised how much his eyes speak for themselves, what you were saying, he can convey a lot to you just with his eyes.
Ha! After I resumed watching, he started to talk about exactly the sort of thing i do, for the exact same reason. For me, it's mixing cups of tea, and buying myself special sodas. Fantastic stuff. Introspection doesn't come easily to most folks, but it's evident Tom Holland has it down. That's the trick- replacing unhealthy coping mechanisms with healthy ones. Dialectical behavior therapy is also all about this. Basically rewiring your brain, redirecting your reactions in the long run.
"Consciousness of wrongdoing is the first step towards salvation; if you can catch yourself doing it, you can correct it." -Seneca
Thanks for pointing out the importance of eyebrow movement Spidey, I have auditory processing disorder and find the increasing reduction of facial expressions through cosmetic surgery to be very frustrating! I always thought conversation with people wearing sunglasses was challenging because I can't see their eyes properly but maybe it's their eyebrows that are more important. Certainly not going to remove anyone's eyes to research this idea 😂
I've also given up a destructive daily alcohol habit recently and I certainly feel better for it, although it was very challenging at first. Tom has always come across as fortunate, happy, and confident in his life but there was a lot of pressure to maintain this perfect image and role model status for millions of young Marvel fans. Opening up about his struggles with his self-image and alcohol problems is very brave, and I'm sure his honesty will help fans that struggle with similar problems.
Congratulations Tom, good job of taking care of yourself and setting a superhero example for other people!
A way to test the no eyes theory for you is someone wearing swimming goggles
@@zoe9190 That's a great idea thanks! I'll bring a few pairs along with me the next time I meet my friends for coffee and ask them to wear them in public - I'm sure they won't mind 😂😂
I enjoyed seeing you show how getting a baseline of a person’s gestures is important to not misunderstand them
Once again, I learned a few more tips from your video. You have a wonderful way of explaining body language. I also admire the way you explain how baseline is so important to reading body language. Thanks for the care you put in your videos.
I think he is half joking half serious about the boxing movie. He has a slight giggle in his voice at the same time he’s shaking his head. Additionally, he looks up through his eyelashes before he fully raises his head to make eye contact again. This says to me he isn’t quite confident that this could actually happen. Especially after the talk of not being athletic in the more “manly “ sports in school. Yet, he also doesn’t outright dismiss the possibility. He’s a good actor and he knows it but doesn’t lose his humility.
Really important messages in this video. Thank you, Spidey.
As a trained healthcare professional, I'd like to share: Research shows that most people who have alcohol problems are able to reduce their drinking or quit entirely.
There are many roads to getting better. What is important is finding yours. Understanding the available treatment options-from behavioral therapies and medications to mutual-support groups-is the first step. The important thing is to remain engaged in whatever method you choose.
Ultimately, receiving treatment can improve your chances of success.
This episode brushed on so many fascinating aspects of body language, thank you for sharing this with us!
It's funny though, I've been following you for a while and I saw the video pertaining to non-judgemental approach in interrogation and I hadn't quite made the link with my uncanny ability of making people open up without trying (and sometimes wanting). I thought it was my rather obvious empathy, but I now realize there is definitely more to it.
Love this video! Love Tom Holland! He seems like a very genuine person!
A great review and such a wonderful subject! Respect to him for his success with stopping his drinking.❤❤
I LOVED this interview! Tom Holland is so stable in his positions with his body language. I totally agree with you. Also huge shout out to Chris Ramsey. I was jumping all over the place when Tom mentioned he would watch the puzzle videos! I totally get it too. I love watching them. In fact, it was watching Chris Ramsey's youtube channel that I came across you Spidey, long before the Depp trial. I love your videos too! Always looking forward to your videos! Keep up the great work!
Eye-opening!!! (Never saw the Spiderman films but now think maybe I should.) Very nice interviewer too. Your explanations of being nonjudgmental are also applicable to preparing and delivering a presentation to any group of people! We just witnessed three people being great examples of what REAL positive thinking is and how it manifests.
Every time you speak French I feel like I am getting slapped with a reminder that you're Canadian😂I feel like that interview for a perfect example of what to do as an interviewer, it felt like we were in a safe space where nothing was being judged. Thank you for making this video, looking forward to the Taylor Lautner one about online bullying!
Brilliant, thanks for this one. I think it was especially enjoyable because it was one of the rare instances where we're looking at a whole bunch of examples of goodness and honesty. Nice balance ❤
I had nightmares since I was round 6, when I was 19 I decided to get help and I went to a hypnotherapist, it really helped I rarely have terrifying dreams now and I am 69.
Spidey on Spidey 🤔
it's a love crime😂
I love watching your videos! I get so much out of your analysis, whether it's learning something new, or confirming something I already instinctively know.
I didn't know you were a hypnotherapist; me too! Such an incredible tool for so many different issues! I love that you brought this into today's video.
Thanks, glad you enjoyed it. Yeah hypnotherapy is really awesome for certain things 😊
Really appreciate putting a point on non-judgement: our world needs this message in a massive way.
Spidey, you're almost at 1 million subscribers! yayyy 🥳🥳🥳
My husband used hypnotherapy to help with weight loss. He was a stress eater and habitual snacker. It was really funny to see him after even just the first session because he’d wander over to a cupboard and open it out of habit then realise what he was doing a wonder why because he now recognised that he wasn’t actually hungry. It also completely dissociated the idea of being stressed and eating. Afterwards, he couldn’t understand why he’d ever gone for food which obviously didn’t help with stress when there were other much better things he could do that would actually help. He still has a way to go with his weight loss but his relationship with food has completely changed. I would definitely recommend hypnotherapy to anyone in the same kind of situation.
I love that you included the article citations that support what you're explaining.
It's hard to explain why watching Chris Ramsay is so relaxing but it's also not very hard...it's Chris' personality and talent as a UA-camr that makes his videos so relaxing and addictive
Another great analysis, thank you! I love the extra psychology facts you added, very informative :) This was a positive interview to watch
Thank you, thris video was so possitive and helpfull. I love how the entire video was about positivity in body language and in chosen words. It was so educational for me as a teacher. Helping me to be less judgemental in both my words, my own body language and recognizing things my students communicate. So valueble when you work with teenagers❤❤
Thanks again, Spidey. Great analysis as always. I was reminded of how much I sometimes struggle with people thinking I’m judging them, or angry with them, when I am really confused, or possibly judging myself. I draw my eyebrows together when I’m confused or concentrating, and this comes across like judgment or anger. It can be incredibly frustrating to me, because people leap to conclusions. It’s also part of my baseline, so it’s really difficult to stop doing that.
I learned something else as well: Tom Holland and I share a birthday! 😂 This makes me unreasonably happy. :)
Thanks as always for your great content, Spidey. And yes, please do even more videos on people who are communicating openness and other “positive” emotions. It’s a great balance with all your other videos, and really teaches some important things that help us NOT to leap to conclusions and/or try to reduce behavior to “shaking the head no while saying yes MUST mean they are lying.” 😀
I love that you are seeing behind why people perceive you the way they do. There are a few people in my life who would really benefit from realizing what their body language/behavior/speech seems like to the outside, but who are too defensive to even go there.
Some of my patients in psychotherapy will actually test me in the beginning as to how non-judgmental I am by telling me a little bit of e.g. self-harm ideation, then gauge my reaction, then tell me roughly what they've done, watch me again, then go into more detail. Not judging and dealing with publicly often not accepted topics professionally is something that people look out for. And I love it when I notice it because I think of it as a way of self-care. They're not surrendering to the setting of psychotherapy but actively controlling their own contribution to the patient-doctor-relationship.
Hey Spidey! It’s really refreshing to watch an analysis of positive, open communication. I love it. Especially after all the videos of negative celeb interviews or videos, it’s great to see some positive models. Please continue to do more videos analyzing models of great communication!
Great analysis as always, Thank you!
Man.. how can you not love Tom Holland? 🥰
Yay! Thanks for sharing the other channel!
I love that he says something about Chris Ramsay!
Hi Spidey! I love and appreciate your content! With regards to alcohol, as well as drugs - for that matter, a more advanced age friend of mine who is a Master Hypnotherapist, Master Astrologer, and retired Psychologist told me you can always see indications in an astrology chart (when you have the correct time and place of birth of a person) whether the person would be prone to having an addiction, therefore advises the person they would need to be completely abstinent from both alcohol and drugs, and gambling for examples.
Your channel is the best thing on the internet, so glad I’ve found you!
Love it. Keep ‘em coming, Spidey. I appreciate ya!!
I watched the interview before and now with your comments was really great🙏Thank you
Both Jay and Tom shake their heads when talking about being sober. I interpret it as their being incredulous, previously believing that alcohol made them feel great
I adore Tom so much. Thank you for breaking down this interview.
I love your videos. They are always extremely informative and well balanced. Thank you for taking the time to create this content. I feel as though I’ve learned so much from you over the past year.
So glad you’re enjoying it 😊
@@TheBehavioralArts you just made my day by responding to me! 😁😁😁
@@pamelaconstantine170 if you're a member you'll always get a response 🤗❤
It’s amazing how a social circle works. I’m LDS (Mormon) and went to most of the neighborhood parties. I didn’t think anything about drinking. I had fun anyway. After I lived there for about 8 months one of my friends came up and thanked me. I was slightly surprised and asked why. She told me she didn’t really think drinking was worth it. She was about 40, not old at all. She said she just didn’t want to drink every party. She noticed I didn’t drink and had just as much fun so she felt comfortable not drinking. I doubt more than 3 families knew my religion, they just knew I didn’t drink. It’s amazing how seldom people care about these things. I was thinking , as she talked, that if anyone asks you just tell the truth, I just don’t care about it that much
This is a GREAT, positive review, thx Spidey!😊
Another great analysis! Thank you @spidey! Best way to start my weekend
Good episode! I enjoyed the interview clips as well as your commentary.
Really loved this video! ❤