Dax Shepard Shares Painful Relationship with His Dad
Вставка
- Опубліковано 7 лип 2016
- How a poignant journey with his absentee father helped him become more forgiving - and a more grateful parent.
If you liked this video, there's a lot more where it came from. This is a small excerpt from a much longer conversation that you can watch right here: offcamera.com/issues/dax-shepa...
Get the Dax Shepard issue of the magazine HERE: shop.offcamera.com/products/of...
Want more Off Camera? offcamera.com
The Off Camera Show is the UA-cam channel for Off Camera with Sam Jones. Subscribe now to be updated on the latest videos: bit.ly/1K3VAC9
For full Off Camera episodes, visit offcamera.com
Get Social With Us:
On Facebook: theoffcamera...
On Twitter: / offcamerashow
On Instagram: / offcamerashow
On UA-cam: / theoffcamerashow
Follow Sam Jones on Twitter: / samjones - Розваги
"It's so hard not to look at your parents as the sum of their mistakes"
NCSUME1 It's because they affect our lives on such a lersonal level, where as to other people they're just passing by. To us, they will be in our lives forever, and we will become them, unless.
NCSUME1 I
I think it's because we're always going to be their "child", their "kid." And we are so indoctrinated with the nuclear family model in media that we yearn and wish for the perfect family with perfect parents and those "perfect parents" couldn't be farther from the truth. When a parent makes a mistake we tend to remember it because parents are supposed to be infallible beings to us as kids, yet they are just as susceptible to mistake as anyone else.
Powerful statement
It's never as black and white as that. With the divorce laws as they are (or especially as they were in the 80's and 90's)....mom's nearly ALWAYS got custody of the kids and usually sentenced the father to a life of near poverty. Women (my mom for certain) would then use visitation as a weapon if my father lost a job or was behind on a payment . All the while, my mom would get food stamps, welfare, alimony, child support and whatever other entitlements she was eligible for, all to not work a job.....while she would screw boyfriend after boyfriend, after boyfriend, endlessly looking for Mr. Right......while my Dad lived in a studio apartment and was drained dry every month by the state.
If he couldn't see me for a couple of weeks because he had to work three jobs to keep his head above water....he was called a "dead beat dad"......but somehow my mom was never labeled a "welfare whore"?? She was always seen as "the victim" and a "hero" for raising a child all alone??? There's always two sides to every story.
1:33..."I don't feel bad for me at all, I feel terrible for him that he missed this. It's much more powerful on this side, it's much more of an experience to be a parent to a child than to be a child to a parent."...............WOW, love it.
Was very powerful. What a gift to us all that he shared his insight.
So very true too. Being a parent’s child is formative but it doesn’t involve everything you are and everything you have the way being a parent does. His statement was utterly profound and I loved it too.
Yea
It's never as black and white as that. With the divorce laws as they are (or especially as they were in the 80's and 90's)....mom's nearly ALWAYS got custody of the kids and usually sentenced the father to a life of near poverty. Women (my mom for certain) would then use visitation as a weapon if my father lost a job or was behind on a payment . All the while, my mom would get food stamps, welfare, alimony, child support and whatever other entitlements she was eligible for, all to not work a job.....while she would screw boyfriend after boyfriend, after boyfriend, endlessly looking for Mr. Right......while my Dad lived in a studio apartment and was drained dry every month by the state.
If he couldn't see me for a couple of weeks because he had to work three jobs to keep his head above water....he was called a "dead beat dad"......but somehow my mom was never labeled a "welfare whore"?? She was always seen as "the victim" and a "hero" for raising a child all alone??? There's always two sides to every story.
Topsey Kretts Agreed 💔🗣
Said this for years: sometimes having a lack luster parent who you later realize is a human and filled with issues can be great motivation to be a great parent yourself.
Very emotionally intelligent.
Dax Shepard has lived a troubled life although he seems much happier and in peace with himself now
who is dan? is that Dax's brother or his dad?
Dan is my German Shepherd. I would agree that he is in a better place in life now. There were some crazy years, though.
I don’t know. I feel like there’s something there that’s trying way too hard. Seems like he’s gonna crack one of these days. Not trying to be heartless. Just sense something that’s right on the edge there. Trying too hard and slightly manic. Hopefully he’s ok in the end. He seems haunted to me.
sahib5 don’t know what you are watching
It's never as black and white as that. With the divorce laws as they are (or especially as they were in the 80's and 90's)....mom's nearly ALWAYS got custody of the kids and usually sentenced the father to a life of near poverty. Women (my mom for certain) would then use visitation as a weapon if my father lost a job or was behind on a payment . All the while, my mom would get food stamps, welfare, alimony, child support and whatever other entitlements she was eligible for, all to not work a job.....while she would screw boyfriend after boyfriend, after boyfriend, endlessly looking for Mr. Right......while my Dad lived in a studio apartment and was drained dry every month by the state.
If he couldn't see me for a couple of weeks because he had to work three jobs to keep his head above water....he was called a "dead beat dad"......but somehow my mom was never labeled a "welfare whore"?? She was always seen as "the victim" and a "hero" for raising a child all alone??? There's always two sides to every story.
”It's much more of an experience to be a parent to a child than to be a child to a parent.” (Dax Shepard)
Never resonated more with an interview than with this one... Wow he is very introspective and reflective
Katy m He always came off that way. I don't understand his haters. Maybe I just relate to his kind of laugh-at-life humor. People think I'm mean, but I'm just trying to balance out the deprication with my self-deprication.
Wow. It’s tough to realize that parents are people too and can mess up like anyone. My father was an alcoholic and I hated him for a long time. Then my mother got sick and he took care of her for five years and I was able to let that go
So hard. But....so necessary. Altruistic love.
"It's so hard not to look at your parents as the sum of their mistakes". I felt that.
People who've been through the toughest struggles tend to be the funniest and want to spread happiness to others❤️
true story
You aint lying.
I get told that a lot. Deep down i struggle a lot with everything but outside I never show my sadness, anger or any pain I am going through. I always smile and laugh with people.
You're not supposed to make me cry like that. Dammit.
This situation probably made you a better dad..just like my mom leaving me made me a better mom. Because I wouldn't wish that feeling on any child.
❤
That's some grow up maturity right there. You are the better man.
Every time I hear Dax Shepard, i respect him a little more.
This is a deeply moving talk. Speaks volumes to people with disappointing parents.
Profoundly wise and vulnerable and honest. Love this interview
I like him so much. The more I learn the more respect I have for Dax Shepard nit to mention how entertaining he is.
my dad refused my love, since about age 18 when I wanted to move out and go to college. I left and he kicked me out when I came back for summer, and all my life I never got to be friends with him, he rejected me on holidays wouldnt open gifts or wouldnt be home for fathers day (parents divorced)and favored the brothers, its so sad, when he got sick I took care of him but he was no nicer even in his last days. Now I see that the poison he had, that I don't need to accept it, and feel more sorry for him that he couldnt accept me for the good person I was trying to be. I am just so impressed with the honesty and openness of this video, I so relate. Thank you!
Yep, you can be and always have been the bigger man. He's the one who has missed everything
I'm wondering that too.
He sounds like someone with narcissistic personality disorder.
So sorry
@Lindy T some times they are no reasons Lindy.
Beautiful, thank you for sharing this💓
Very interesting to hear about others' lives and at times relate them to my own. I really enjoy these interviews!
Powerful. I’m crying. Thank you for sharing. 💙
What a great guy. I just learned in 2 minutes how to forgive my dad. That was incredible. Thank you.
Yep. For me, it's my mother. Take care of yourself Leah.
Oh my gosh so true. 👏🏼 👏🏼 👏🏼 i have still a lot to learn. We all do. Thank you for sharing Dax.
Love his humanity.
This is so powerful. Dax has suffered but grown a lot out of bad circumstances.
That was a very powerful look at people, life, forgiveness, and a look at how we see our parents and their shortcomings. Thank you for sharing.
That was an exceptionally powerful video. Amazing insight on Dax's part. I can learn a lot from this.
I love the person that Dax is and the wisdom he just shared with the world. That was beautiful. Thank you.
It's so great how he looks at people and can honestly feel about someone! 💯
One of the best videos ever. Ever.
Wow. Powerful. Especially the last bit. He has a lot of wisdom.
Compassion is palpable. What an amazing journey is when in recovery from fear, anger, and resentment. It also clears the path for the next generation.
Wow I really needed to hear this as a walk my healing journey of forgiveness for my parents. Why is it so much easier to see a stranger as just a person who makes mistakes versus when it's your mom or dad you just hold so much anger.
I’ve just been binge watching all interviews with Sam Jones....he really gets people to open up and be themselves....how does he do it....
What a personal thing to share. Empathy is a powerful thing.
As the saying goes, 'It's harder to forgive your friends (family) than your enemies' !
Dax was so good-looking in "Employee of the Month" that I was jealous. I immediately surmised that this guy had never had a problem in his life. If only I could have been born with his blonde hair and cute face my life would've been perfect too.. He'd prob'ly had a million girlfriends and got every part in every production that he cared to grace with his charisma and good looks.Then I saw this interview. I almost cried. Why do we (I pray that I'm not alone) think that just because someone looks good everything is gonna just fall in their lap? Dax' story completely blew my mind. Not in a million years would I think that he could experience such misfortune. He would be calling ME lucky. And I've been through some rough times myself. It's so easy to be so wrong. I'm really glad that things got turned around for him.
A very thoughtful comment! I understand what you mean.
@@paula9197 Thank you for your kind words. You are obviously a woman of considerable substance.
@@dantierney5563 Thank you for your kind comment 😊
That's so true! I kind of had the same feeling towards his wife, Kristen - she's the perfect "cute american girl" kind. And then I took some time to hear some of her takes on life & mental health and it was impressive. She deals with a lot, and both of them don't hide that their relationship, just like themselves, is not necessarily pink and bubbly as people like to imagine. This is comforting and yeah, we shouldn't be so quick to judge :/
Loved him in PARENTHOOD that show made me cry so much.
Does he have a book?..his story is so amazing
Listen to his podcast: Armchair Expert.
Dude, I freakin love these !
Very powerful interviews. Good on ya, Dax S. for 'coming out' as a sober person who uses the principles of AA to live today. I know, I know- "Anonymous at the level of press, radio & TV", but- individual stories, shared one on one is HOW IT WORKS! Super powerful, would love to hear his story at a meeting.
powerful video
I love this guy
Love this
What an incredible admission by both a parent and a child. We are all flawed. We are all imperfect. You never understand your parents more than when you become an adult and a parent yourself.
Wow. Subscribed.
My father was a man who would could be mean, nasty and manipulative with words. Also condescending, disdainful, a snob and his efforts to show he cared and was interested in me didn't work. He died in a horrible highway crash just before I turned 21. In the nearly 40 years since then I've come to see my father as a lonely, unhappy, disappointed, frustrated man who who was in over his head in his job, was completely unsuited to marriage to a woman and to rearing children and who may have been a closeted homosexual. I'm single, never married, no children but I've come to see my father as someone who had a deeply unhappy life that ended terribly. I once had a dream some years later that my father was shouting at me. Though he and I were the same height, in my dream I was taller than my father. As he was shouting at me I said nothing to my father but just put my arms around him. That was how the dream ended.
Yeah, I can totally relate unfortunately 😑
He gets so canadian when he talks about his dad. I can understand what he feels like only it was my mother who left an dad acting in two roles
So true.💔
Who knew all this emotional intelligence lived inside the guy from Punk'd?..
What a deep guy wow
Well done, Dax.
Wow His a Good dad.
Aaand I'm crying
A good parent is good because they can love their child more than themselves. For those parents incapable of doing that, or incapable of staying with their spouse, it is better that they leave rather than stay and grow resentful of or hateful and abusive toward their child or spouse. I share Dax's story, from my age of 7 when my father left. I know what dies within a child when their parent leaves. Still, it was better that two people at least had another chance to find and create a better life with a spouse they instead could find that place of love with.
Love the interviews but... why are they re-uploaded every couple months?
While his interviews are indeed deep and I appreciate him, it just occurred to me now reading the comments, it's all women watching this lol. Of course they love this, he's a great looking actor pouring his heart out.
Love these clips, my only criticism is the music at the end feels not appropriate to the tenor of the subject matters.. So it gives it an imbalanced sense as though making light of the serious material. Thanks for the interviews though! :)
Sometime were harder on the people we love the most.
Wow.
But when your parents make the same mistakes and narcissistic behavior over your entire life... forgiveness is difficult if not impossible.
I think he’s grossly simplifying the situation. I doubt his father made just one bad mistake, or even a whole series of them.
It's "funny" to me how these things affect us differently. My father never abandoned me but I've got such a bad relationship with him (especially after my mother died, when I was 14) that I can't think of no stronger reason than this for my decisiveness on not ever having children of my own. Whenever I think about this the poem "This be the verse" by Philip Larkin comes to my mind. I just don't want to ever see a kid struggle with some of the feelings I've had myself. Anyway, it's interesting that Dax points out how good it is to be on the other side, being a parent himself. Such a different perspective.
I had a terrible mother I have tried to forgive but I can’t
Addictions make normal people do things no sane person would ever choose to do.
💓
When you get to your 40's you begin to see life from more of 'your parent's' perspective.
Looking very handsome in this video Dax
I can't be the only one that thinks he and Zach Braff look very alike...
I thought that too, ever since I first laid eyes on him.
I never met my dad until I was 38 last year...he's still a drug addict and a manipulative person. I'm so lucky my mom left him when I was an infant and he never looked for me......I get what he is feeling.
0:40 a very strong metaphorical scene, it's not a physical thing that holds people back at times
He went to the bar
That music at the end seems a little bit out of place
😭😭😭😭
Yeah, I don't see it at all. I am going to be 47 years old this year and I still see the monster who was horribly abuse and later walked away from my 3 and 2 year old brothers and never looked back. He's still the piece of shit he was when I was a child. Next question............
I honestly really wished I had a father like that, one with good intentions at least. I mean, there's a lot of ways I can work around all the awful things he did, I can see what not to do, what man I should become in contrast to him.
Just... Wouldn't it be so much simpler if he was actually a good man? If he never laid his hands on my mother or my older sister and scarred and hurt them so much? If I actually had someone to directly look up to, and not worry so often that it could just be in my blood and genes to destroy and ruin all that is precious in my life?
I mean I don't know, I'm only 17 and I guess I'll have a fair bit of time to solve it all, it's just... It scares me at times, I'm scared that all I'll every achieve would only be an attempt to hide that fact that I am my father's son, and as if I never meant a damn second of it, and that my nature was a lie to me myself in attempts to cover that up.
Hell, I just don't know. All that I do know is that I'll try to be the best man I can be, tainted genes or not.
you have good intentions and that's what matters. you are not your father. i know how hard it can be when we have those thougths but at the end of the day u gotta realize that you are not him.
Aqib.A.C biology is not destiny my friend ❤️
He ate a brownie once..
At the end, did he say he's more willing to forgive strangers than his father?
He was saying he realized that he was more willing to do that, implying that it was unreasonable of him.
That is like the gospel of Jesus Christ. He loves us and forgives us, He looks pasts our sins because they are on the cross. I pray to be more forgiving everyday.
"I'm not granting him any of the forgiveness I would a stranger who walks into a meeting". Yet I feel like we should grant parents forgiveness because they are our parents, our blood. I see where he's coming from and I feel that way, but I would feel almost a duty to forgive a parent.
Stefania people aren't your family solely because they're blood. You have to act like family. I can understand where he's coming from
Vicky Stamataros trust me, I get it too. I've had my parents turn their back on me when I had health issues and needed them the most. People who say they love you should be there when you're sick. I totally get it.
Stefania no, they should be the first not to take adv of you because just that, they ARE our parents
It got cut off so the actual intention was missed but he was saying that he realized he gave more strangers forgiveness and not his dad and that lead him down the path of working on that
anastasia brown thank you. Can’t believe that point was missed above. You’re absolutely right. He was essentially chastising himself for not being more loving toward his own father, not reinforcing his bitterness.
If he does another one of these things, I think he should restart drinking and taking drugs.
We are much harder on our family members even to a cruel point. There is no black and white only black. You feel you give them a little space and they wanna become your steering wheel