Ep.66 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Вставка
- Опубліковано 10 вер 2024
- Are you ready for the Big Game on February 7th?! Come hang out with the bears and special guest Warren Sapp as they watch both teams face off in the final game of the season. Get tickets at livestream.ymh...
SPONSORS:
- Get your first visit absolutely free at ForHims.com/bears
- Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code BEARS to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain
- Get 15% off your order at BuyRaycon.com/...
- Download the DraftKings app and use code BEARS to get a free shot at millions of dollars in total prizes!
Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer start off this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave by discussing how Bert is celebrating his power. Bert recaps his "Winston Churchill Day," discusses his house getting broken into, and explains why he loves sunsets. They reveal that the trauma Bert incurred from being cheated on, was actually the result of him cheating first, and watch a clip of AEW commentators flubbing Bert's name once again. They call Cody Rhodes and Snoop Dogg, and Snoop agrees to go fishing with the Bears and Warren Sapp!
ymhstudios.com/
store.ymhstudi...
/ yourmomshousepodcast
/ yourmomshousepodcast
"Drink like a fucking man" while holding Bud Light Seltzer Strawberry Lemonade. Love you Bruce.
And a jug of Kool-aid...
Bold and bubbly
Brett Kreisler or Bruce Kersher youre my hero
His favorite drink is Tito's and soda... doesn't get more manly than that.
With a logo visible in every camera angle. 🤔
Bart waking up snoop is the biggest display of his power
I gotta give it to Dirk Crasher, that was impressive.
Burk Worcestershire sauce
You misspelled his name, pretty sure it's Bruce Christopher
@@firstnamelastname180 Kersher
@@kellycaaws Bryce christener
Tom: “that was exciting!”
Bert: “ᵀʰᵃᵗʷᵃˢᵗʰᵉᵇᵉˢᵗᵗʰᶦⁿᵍᵗʰᵃᵗᵉᵛᵉʳʰᵃᵖᵖᵉⁿᵉᵈᵗᵒᵐᵉ”
58:58
Nothing like Brent celebrating his power during Black History Month
Oh shit! 🤣 I didn't even connect the dots on that. Funny asf in such an oblivious Bruce type of way.
Bro 😂
Bird Krusher is notoriously racist. Literally a nazi
I'm surprised they haven't arrested Brent for storming The Captiol yet
Branko Kričar.
I can't believe Snoop actually gave Bruce Krishna his real number.
Bruce Krishna 😂😂😂
He probably thought Bill would lose it all by himself.
I can’t believe he wanted to go fishing with them... I wouldn’t even do that shit.
@@camp4600 is it fake?
@@mftoeless1687 Obviously not, bert worked with snoop before and its not too far fetched to see he's excited to just go out and do smt.
When Tom stares at the camera like he’s in The Office
You mean tim?
No, she means Todd.
Terry?
Jiming the camera.
Trent*
Omg the joy on Tom’s face when Snoop agreed to go fishing just made my day. So wholesome. To go fishing with someone who contributed to who you are as a person when you were growing up... truly awesome.
Bert is the only comedian whos called up celebrities and had them actually answer.
I bet people pick up for Chapelle, but that’s not surprising. BK is surprising. 😂
I bet snoop's got that number blocked now though after that long pause and the fact that he didn't go fishing with them. He probably just played along since he knew he was on the air. I wouldn't be surprised if he was pissed afterwards.
@@aroff595 I think he paused because he wasnt sure who it was. Hes definitely had issues with people getting his phone numbers in the past so I think he just wanted to be sure he knew who it was before saying anything.
Berts face when Snoop says he’ll go fishing is just so pure. Love it.
Mondays would be a nightmeer without Bruce and Tod
Their names are Bret and Tim.... JESUS!!!! Have some respeck!
The way he pronounces that word has drove me crazy since sober October 2
aHundred percent
@@tombystander Cody Rhodes too! The American Nightmere himself
Still waiting for Bruce's Black Mirror parody show, Night Mirror.
"Alcohol makes all the bad feelings go away." - Bort Kronkler, who is totally not an alcoholic, you guys
Hahaha Bort Kronkler
My son is also named Bort
Dawgggg “bort kronkler”!😂💀
LMAOOOO “Kronkler” got me dude
I also cheat on every girl with... I'm still close with Erica to the point where my wife is uncomfortable
....brot
Bert acting like he's calling his mom to ask if he can sleepover every time he calls someone
Very accurate when you think about it 😂
Hahahaha
Bert’s real power is his ability to justify his alcoholism in increasingly creative ways
Right, and now he's acting like he had the epic epiphany. He seems way too proud of himself
@@dolan979 but gotta respect his power tho xD
It's all a bit bro he knows he drinks too much all his friends know too
He never stops with the creativity. Every day it seems he has a new idea... A true artist
@@extremespartan117 Especially his power on the first day of Black History Month
Bert's power is him just learning to drink responsibly at 48 years old
better late than never I suppose.
You call chugging a bud at 11am responsible?
Bert's just celebrating his power during black history month
@@themcrib7920 unconventional? Yes. Irresponsible. No
Biggest hypocrite
It’s taken 66 2 bears eps and about 3 years for me to finally warm up to and even start to like Bert
It was completely opposite for me, I liked him at first and now I can't stand him.
I like him, to me hes a mixture of hilarious, hillbilly and obnoxious. Some episodes you get too much of one attribute, some he mixes them all perfect, i feel this episode was great.
The way Bert switches gears on stories, kills me. Tom's looks everytime Bert says something crazy. Love it.
That's the only reason I still watch this show.
Right?? Tim "breaking the 3rd wall" when Bruce says something ridiculous has got to be his best move. I laugh every time.
@Stephen Morigeau exactly 💯
It's like watching a pinball in motion.
Bert: "here's my new thing... power down the whole drink and enjoy the buzz"
New thing huh?
Brett is the pinnacle of “You miss all the shots you don’t take” and Tom is blown away every time he sees it happen in front of him 😂
Bro wtf, when Bert is in his flow state he can manifest anything. He just casually set up going fishing with Snoop Dogg 🤯
You mean Bruce?
I just really want to see Tom using his black voice with Sapp and Snoop
Bernt: I was really traumatized after she cheated on me, also bernt, I cheated on her first
Classic narcissism
Seriously what a piece of shit
@@brandonbaran1197 welcome to being aware of blart kranschler
Bird Krusher's trauma
Definitely Still Fuckin Erika
That was such a g move by bert calling snoop!!!! Snoop is probably like the pretty girl who never gets asked out cause everyone I'd intimidated but bert has no boundaries and makes dreams into a reality (for both of them) inspirational af!
I like how Tom doesn't shut bert down when he wants to call people or FaceTime it makes for great show
I legit can’t believe snoop answered Bert’s call
How can you doubt the power of Bert Krishner???
How would s
Snoop not want to hang with Bert? He is a legend of his own making for always being himself and way to honest. LOVE YOU BERT AND THE WHOLE KRIESHER FAMILY ❤💪❤ #BERTSPOWER 👍
Bro Snoop didny just answer he was stoked lol
Never will I read a SINGLE comment 5 minutes in I scrolled down and decided to read the only comment I could see NEVER again now I know they will call snoop and he'll answer lmfao
@@emmajayne682 ehh, not always honest. Which was shown at the very least when they discussed his “trauma” from the cheating story.
@@atb1175 True, well he is almost always to forthcoming with to much information 😁
Bert just woke up snoop dog got him to agree to make him a playlist and go fishing with him! That is officially the coolest thing Bert has ever done!!
Who's going to tell bart his power is just called moderation
After telling your self for a long time that you can never have just one drink, when you actually consistently moderate, It starts to feel like a power . That's the hard line. Chasing that "first drink buzz" sometimes takes people down long roads of drinking too much as their tolerance continues to go up night after night. I speak from experience.
When you're an addict, moderation is hard as fuck.
The hardest.
No no hes right it isnt a fucking power im in recovery and you should never think of "moderation" as a power... it always leads to relapses
“Alcohol makes it all go away”
- Bruce Kersher
But don’t worry, he’s not an alcoholic...
My favorite is the Bert Krishna lol
@@danielpenrodii2389 does alot for an alcoholic wouldn't you say...I mean what are you achievements?
He’s always giving the world’s worst advice...😂
@@evanabbott2737 and your taking it Mr.Guru?
This show is literally the only thing that makes my mondays bearable
Bad Friends.
I see what you did there
@@rickypineda157 exactly
That's pretty lame.
You have to add Kill Tony too
"Paint Your Own Narative" -Brant Kroacher
Brett Kirchner
"Celebrating my power" sounds alot like Mac saying "I'm putting on mass" in Always Sunny... xD
I'm cultivating mass
'Treats' are Brent's 'Putting on mass.'
@@ShibbolethU see if I was a fat chick that would've bothered me
I get 50/50 Dennis and Mac on this
You're on a computer of some kind you can't just not use quotation marks or just google it, it's "cultivating mass" and he needs to harvest already...
Poor Tim has to listen to Brent Chrysler talk about high functioning alcoholism every day the concern in his eyes is breathtaking
But he gets to go fishing with snoop...good trade off.
its true love. tragic but love
People bust Bert's balls but this podcast is nothing without him.
Ik this is 2 years old but if it was tom segura and Ryan sickler it would be better. I've watched this show for years and berts inability to let people finish a thought or make something all about himself is old now.
Sounds like Burnt is low key in love with Erica.
It's so obvious they're still sleeping together
“Alcohol makes it all go away” - Bruce the alcoholic
Don't you dare call him the "a-word"! He only drinks to celebrate. During sunsets. When he's bored. When he's eating. Before sleeping. When he wakes up. Lol, it's pretty crazy how much he talks about alcohol no lie
Hey! Bird Krusher is NOT an A-word.
Toms looks into the camera are priceless. I love this show.
The more I listen the more Bruce’s power sounds a lot like when you convince yourself a couple bumps a day wont hurt anybody. Life is great, feels amazing, revelations, Churchill....
Diaries of a madman..
Yeah it's quintessential functioning addict behavior
This is the best episode ever the snoop shit is fucking insane I'm giddy for the both of them
This one is definitely top 10. But my all time favorite will forever be the episode where bert does a denzel impersonation talking to Tom about himself🤣🤣🤣
"this weird little girl would always be dancing"
she has cerebral palsy bert.
Underrated comment... take my like.... this was earned
Lol
Holy shit hahaha
Oh my god dude the fact he answered at all let alone responded after cluelessly saying snoop and Calvin into the phone is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen on a podcast
“Snoop......Calvin” 😂😂😂
I can't believe Snoop answered that phone call... Bert and Tom are reaching a whole other level of famous these days.
Bart finds new ways to justify alcoholism
Brent cheated but pretends he was cheated
Bruce wants to give robbers $200 each time they feel like stealing
Bert and Ted are going fishing with Sapp and Snoop
Celebrate your power people
The whole first half of the podcast Burt is raving about that 1 beer buzz then finds out hes drank the equivalent of 2 beers and then its all about that 2 beer buzz
F
“I’ve been drinking more responsibly”
“I gotta be drunk when I go to sleep to make the morning drinking easier.”
"I almost threw up on the treadmill this morning, celebrating my power" - Bruce 😆
Is there a more inspirational quote?
The King of Thailand was just celebrating his power when he broke his sister’s ankles.
It was supposed to be a dunk contest, a simple dunk contest!
I’m in my 40s, there’s been times of my life where I was drinking more than any human should. Bert has drank more drinks during the pandemic than I have in any decade of my lifetime and he considers it not drinking.
@Stephen Morigeau lmfao
I think Bert is still stuck in his college drinking phase but never left even 25 years later
Can’t wait for Snoop to call Bert “Burp Crenshaw” when they go fishing
Let me guess, Bert’s next special is going to be “Celebrate My Power.”
Mark my words !!!
Kind of reminds me of "Make America Great Again"
I would like to believe this but at the same time I think he might have forgot that phrase already lmao
It’s funny listening to Bert defend the people breaking into his house
I honestly enjoyed it, we need more examples of empathy these days.
@@maxellis3325 I kinda hope they do follow him and see this or his social media post and hit him up like actually yeah I'd like a job lol
next week on 2 bears -
Bruce: so I hired my robbers
@@20tetsuo77 They'll see firsthand how much Bert drinks and be like "Yea this guy is definitely more fucked up than us"
"My new thing is power down that drink, and enjoy the buzz." What was the old thing? Oh right, "Murder the drink, and ride the buzz." Subtle, but it makes all the difference.
Bruce is the guy at the high school reunion that proudly boasts about how he can now drink ten times as much as he did in the “good ole days”
He is also the guy who did that at his 10th, 20th and 25th year reunions
@@thomasrainbow And stole that line from his dad.
Burp's power is believing he's not an extreme alcoholic.
I think it’s more like being an extreme alcoholic and super successful.
AHAHAHAAAAHHAAAA ***everything about this comment is pure gold
@@kcassi1 naw now you're sounding like Bruce
Burp hahahahahaha
Or a cheater
56:32 - 59:05
The best clip from Two Bears since Kool Aid.
This comment deserves to be at the top - 💯 % agreed
Needs to be renamed to: Bart talks and Tom adds directors commentary live.
That’s the real reason the latter called his new podcast “Todd talks”!
Bruce's power talk is just him defensively rationalizing that he'll never go sober. Classic alky move
Sounds like you're upset 😂
@@user-os2io9yj4f What?
@@user-os2io9yj4f that makes no sense
"...is the *bleep* of football"
"Leave out the armie hammer part"
that was a joke... do you not get it?
@@durden91tyler you feel better now?
The only reason I look forward to mondays 🤟🏼
Edit: And Bad Friends too obviously 👍🏼
Excuse me sir but you need to watch bad friends
Bad Friends my Homie G
bad friends is only entertaining to people obsessed with the interpersonal lives of LA comics tbh, shit got mad stale by episode 4 imo
@@rileyhughes5613 strongly disagree but whatever floats ur boat
@@rileyhughes5613 lol whatever you just said dawg👍
Bert: *tells therapists to drink like a man*
Also Bert: Don’t drink Jack Daniels, drink Titos or Gin and Tonic
Every man knows that Jack Daniels tastes like someone shit in bongwater then put a cigarette out in it.
@@tshobe23_68 yeah it’s fucking disgusting
adults know to reach for knob creek or buffalo trace
"That's my weakness. I got back on Koolaid when I was celebrating my power" 😂🤣😂
Why is bert dressed like a church’s chicken
It's the Tampa Bay Buccaneers old "Creamsicle" Jersey's/Colors
Cultural Appropriation
I thought Popeyes at first
@@rollinglope5686 lmao fuck you’re spot on.
Lol Popeye's
This feels like that scene in Waynes World when they are talking about not selling out while decked out in reebok eating pizza, drinking Pepsi, and taking aspirin.
ua-cam.com/video/MdMTTQ9SBgk/v-deo.html
Apt. So fucking apt.
Bert telling his therapist to drink like a man lmao
While he drinks a Bud Light Seltzer. Not to mention he drinks mom wine on the treadmill haha.
@@2m7b5 that’s what I was thinking
Knows exactly what drink for every occasion and event and ridicules others for not abusing alcohol. DEFINITELY not an A-word. Good for you Brett Kirschner.
Bird Krusher is NOT an alcoholic
A true renaissance man. Someone who is definitely and absolutely not an A-word at all.
Tom wearing the “Air Segura” merch
Lmao I was hoping that's what it'd be, but nah. That jumpman's got normal limbs 😂 he needs to be rocking the janky jumpman "Air Segura" merch that Pemberton designed hahaha
“bert better not fuck this up” toms face while bert talked to snoop
Bert celebrating his power at the beginning of black history month. Solid move lol that definitely won't bit him in the ass.
Sure?
that was under 30 seconds for bart to begin wrestling with his drinking habits
Omg the nightmere and Juan bit with Cody had me dying!!!! This show made my whole shitty ass day better lol
Hilarious that Brent Kreamer completely “accidentally” forgets about his cheating in a relationship that “traumatized him”
Kinda like how he "never cheats on his wife."
@@aroff595 I'm close to the girl I cheated with to the point where it makes my wife uncomfortable
Wait what??? He got caught cheating on his wife?
@@nicoprieto6749 did you see the last bears episode where he talked about an ex girlfriend cheating on him? I watched him on his wife's podcast afterwards. Turns out that he cheated on her first and he has cheated on most people he has dated when before he always claimed the opposite 😂😂😂. I love Bert but you can trust him as far as you can throw him.
@@nunpho He's stated before hes cheated on all his girlfriends. This is only news to people who've missed that tid bit.
Tom creamed his pants when snoop said he was down to go fishing
“Alcohol makes it all go away.” Sweet merciful mother of Christ if you’re not a fucking alcoholic if you say that...
1st day of Black History Month: exists
Racist comedian Bruce Kersher: “I’m celebrating my power”
He said "my power" not white power, I'm good with that.lol
@@georgeedward602 Yeah, but WE know what he means!
*his dog fucking power
@@anthonyzullo No, I don't even think he knows what he means at times but is not racist. There was a time when you could say stupid shit and not be put on a cross for a joke. He is a comedian and shouldn't be judged like that..we would be left with boring comics if so.
@@joshuasandstrom2793 hey, it’s a joke.
Bert's moving to Texas. He basically outted himself pretty quick into the episode lol.
Bobby and Satino will rule LA
People breaking into his new house every night. Might have something to do with it
No. Toms gonna fly back to La to do 2b1c
If Bert wasn’t an alcoholic he’d be a serial killer because of his narcissism. Also, I didn’t know Bud light seltzer sponsored this show!
No, he’d still be on travel channel.
bert is the opposite of a narcissist
@@igorilic8961 bert is very much so a narcissist.
@@espaciofantazma901 how so?
@@igorilic8961 the whole story he told on this show where he made a bit out of his mate getting cheated on and him crying, gave out all there names. He did all that for himself, not out of malicion but out of ignorance to the effect he has on other people. He is 100% a narcasis.
Bruce- "Here's the thing about sunsets!"
Todd- (where the fuck is this going)🤣
“Paint your own narrative” and “8am cigars” I’m gonna quote Bruce til I die
“I’m 1 beer in and I’m having beautiful thoughts” Lolol
Bert is red flag city as a former addict. His excitement and overall thought process of him being better while drunk is how every addict justifies their use of whatever they enjoy.
Yeah no shit...lol
He has the thoughts but not the actions really. He has a fear that is good to have and most addicts either don't have it or ignore it. His fear will keep him good as long as his life stays cool. A tragic event could be a problem but he has a phenomenal support system too.
I relate so much to his rationalising endlessly, just trying to find some way to make the drinking OK, the rules he creates, the overcompensating after drinking with exercise, the obsession with talking about drinking. I did them all before getting sober.
As a dude with ADHD im pretty well convinced he has that too. Which would also play into his addiction shit. Im not a doc though just some dude with ADHD
@@kyler7917 yeah AA people hate this but it's true 🤭
Bert saying that its his new thing to kill it then feel the buzz. He's been doing that since college tf
When Bert wondered if his wife ever "saw" and appreciated a sunset i started questioning how self obsessed he is and how special he finds himself .... it was confirmed when he said the girlfriend wasn't excused eventho he cheated first 😂
I love his honesty but he's being honestly a terrible human being
Bert talks about alcohol like most people talk about their spouses...gotta love it 😂!
He's obsessed with all things alcohol. A connoisseur even. A renaissance man. Definitely not an.. A-word. Don't even mention it!!
Bleep the actual name drop but not the bit directly following when Bret mentions “The Armie Hammer part” .... nice 👍
As a fellow Floridian, I can concur that the warm sunshine hitting your body, warming your body is totally a meditative state. Sunshine State!
Tim: About to gain full range of motion back in his arm
Also Tim: Me and Brent should wrestle
I think Bert might be an alcoholic.
You're on to something.
Bird Krusher is NOT an A-word
Don't offend him with the A-word when he's celebrating his power on the first day of Black History Month! How dare you.
Ya think?
When Tom stared in the camers I felt his soul saying "I wish i could talk" 😂😂 Love you guys so much. Bart and Tim you're the best!
Remember when this podcast first started and no one would answer Bert's calls.?🤣 The good old days
I'm glad they answer so he isn't all butthurt for the rest of the show
"Celebrating my power" = "Rationalizing my addictions"
The people they get to answer the phone is probably the best part 😂😂
Trent and Bobby lol 😂
I love this one cause you went so far that I don't even know who's who
Bert should donate his body to science. Magnificent creature
58:57
Bert: I'm tingling right now.
Tom: That's pretty exciting. :)
Bert: * sounds of a robot decoding and processing emotions *
Bert looks like an orange version of Tim Allen in "The Santa Clause"
this is sooo accurate
Bert looking like Cartman fromSouth Park
Better than the other comments 😎👍
These dudes are hilarious AF. The friendship these two have is freaking dope. I wish they were in more movies together. They should play two gay dads that have to raise daughters.
"To alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems." - HJS
"Take care, Snoop, get a good sleep." - Bert.
Annnnd that’s the coolest moment on this show so far. Bert actually played that off really well
"I'm celebrating my power Tom" Dead.