[Ep: 5] Caring for a husband with dementia that doesn't recognize you
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- Опубліковано 2 сер 2024
- Welcome to the place where I share dementia tips, strategies, and information for family members caring for a loved one with any type of dementia (such as Alzheimer's disease, Lewy Body dementia, vascular dementia, frontotemporal dementia, etc.)
In today’s video, I chat with Tamra. She's a wonderful Careblazer who is caring for her husband with dementia. She shares her struggles as her husband sometimes doesn't recognize her and tries to drive despite no longer being safe to do so. Her love, patience, and care shines through as she shares her story.
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In case you haven’t met me, my name is Natali Edmonds and I am a board certified geropsychologist. That means that I am a clinical psychologist who specializes in working with older adults. One day, while hiking a trail, I came up with the idea for Careblazers and I decided to see if posting videos online could provide help to the many other Careblazers in the world who don’t get to have help come directly to them in their homes. I hope that this work helps you in some way on your caregiving journey.
#careblazer #dementia #dementiacare
This woman was 78 when this was filmed!!! She looks AMAZING wow! Beautiful inside and out ❤
Tamara's personality & her willingness to try to make adaptations to continue to keep her husband safe & loved is so touching. Such a sweet, strong wife to think creative ways of doing so & candidly saying "loving them even though sometimes you don't"; an honest emotion when things aren't always easiest to deal with. These videos help me to give support to my mom whenever she feels overwhelmed caring for my dad w/Parkinson's associated dimentia. Thank you for sharing your experiences❣🙏🏽 Blessings to you.
What a sweet wife caring for her husband with Alzheimer's! Love the way she learns from what turns out to be a mistake and just picks up and continues pushing forward on her Careblazer journey. Such a model for all of us! Thank you, Tamra, for sharing your story with us and thank you, Dr. Natali, for all you do to make these interviews happen!
God bless this woman taking care of her husband. How very selfless...I hope she is doing well.
Thank you for your story Tamra, you made me laugh many times. My husband has Huntingtons Disease in a late stage and I remember so many similar occasions during our journey: About the car, about him falling and I could’nt help him up (twice he got a brain injury), about him walking away and about his anger and the ”who are you”- incidents. Many times it was like a mad nightmare and I don’t think anyone can prepare for all the craziness that just happens. We laugh and cry and swear but in the end we will pull through. Take care Tamra!
I can relate to her so much. I am my husband's caregiver now for 3 years. He does not recognize me sometimes. It is such a challenge caring for him. The one thing that has helped me the most are your videos Dr. Natali. have learned so much from them.
I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. Sending you love and strength.
Thank you! I would like to see the video you mentioned.
Tamara, you have so much strength and you are working so hard providing care to your husband! Thank you for sharing your story, it is inspiring and full of insight for all of us!
My father suffers from Lewy Body Dementia, and it is truly a state of mental chaos. Each moment of each day has unique, unpredictable experiences, even though I've gotten to a point of being able to actually predict some of them. The car incident as you describe it, is one of my biggest fears. I don't leave the keys in the car with my LO any longer if we happen to go somewhere, and he stays in the vehicle while I'm on an errand.
thank you for this, tears sprang into my eyes several times while listening to this very strong woman’s story.
I remember when I could see him ‘change’ and he would cease to recognize me, he used almost the exact same words about it not being proper and that I had to leave. On two different occasions I had to go to sleep elsewhere and I was so terrified /worried that he was home by himself, as he wasn’t safe.
Thank you for sharing this with us. My heart goes out to you.
Tamara,
Thank you for sharing your story about the grocery store. I have been in that position with my Mom and I left her in the running car with the keys. I don't know what I'll do next time but based on your experience I will try other options. You clearly love your husband. Take time for yourself too .
Natali,
These stories are helpful & heart wrenching. Thank you.
She's so beautiful and positive.
She truly is! ❤️
This video was FABULOUS! Thank you for bringing a personal touch to our journey!
I’m glad you enjoyed hearing Tamra’s story. ❤️
Tamra - you are so an inspiration. I've gone through some of the same moments with my LOWD and got a lot of tips from your sharing your story! Thank you.
I had to pause the video… I have the same very distinct ringtone for if my husband (our landline) calls me!
Your strength in finding ways to cope is inspiring. Keep going!
Such devotion and courage!
These videos are so helpful. Keep them coming.
Love this video so much!
Thankyou both for your help. I'd be lost without your advice.
Thank you so much! It meant a lot to hear how you are handling things that arise. It is also refreshing to see that you’ve maintained a sense of humor. This was helpful for me, to have a glimpse into what might be down the road for me. I’m glad you sought help for yourself too. Thank you for sharing your story. Be well!
Tamara, what an incredibly wise and kind person you are! Thank you for sharing this difficult information.
My heart breaks so much. I can relate to this. I’m taking care of my mom and it is a roller coaster of emotions.
No difference after COVID shot for my spouse. That may have had nothing to do with it. You did the right thing by having him do the shot. The alternative is too great. 👍❤️
same for my husband, no difference. I was glad she at least mentioned it could be coincidence. Covid ravaged my husband‘s facility, almost half of the residents died.
As a physician caring for my 80 y.o.wife with dementia, I have two medical observations. I agree with other comments that the timing of the second COVID-19 vaccination was coincidental to his episode according to everything I have read. I would agree however that anesthesia may have contributed. There is evidence that in some elderly post anesthesia patients who had a delirium episode coming out of anesthesia, some cognitive function may not fully recover to baseline. I feel my wife may have experienced this as she required two prolonged surgeries 5 years ago and this correlated with onset of Mild Cognitive Impairment. Thank you again Natalie for this courageous interview.
This happened to an older friend of my husband and myself when we were young. She went in to surgery sharp as could be and when she came out she couldn’t remember anything. She went from living independently to a nursing home straight from the hospital and never left. In all the visits we made to her she never recovered her memory.
Thank you for sharing, my heart breaks for you and all of us that battle so hard daily for the ones we love. God bless you and keep you strong. Us strong in what we do.
You are always so supportive in your comments. ❤️
I appreciate Tamara sharing her story. My husband has had dementia for a couple of years now and while he was hospitalized in January of this year due to covid his dementia became worse in fact the hospital called it delirium. He didn’t know up from down at that time but now he is better but doesn’t remember a lot and can no longer drive. We live In French valley California close to Temecula ,murrieta area and I am looking for possibly support groups in this area for me. It can be very challenging and if it wasn’t for my faith it would be harder to handle some of the more challenging situations. But I do appreciate the careblazzer videos. 🙏🏼😊
She has a lot ot love n support from friends n family
She is keep a good patience n knowledge for her hustand. N god bless her n get her faith in god name ..amen
I understand the fear and worry about what to do when they fall. Please take my sincere advice to anyone else in this situation. Call an ambulance. They will come and assist the person who has fallen. It is pointless and harmful to hurt yourself trying to get them back up safely, even if you think you are young and strong. The EMTs will be able to safely pull them back up, check to be sure nothing is broken and that they haven't had some sort of stroke or spell that caused them to fall. Remember hips break and then they fall, which seems backwards but that is how it is many times.
I worked in the field of emergency dispatching and this is totally normal and within the scope of what the ambulance does. It could be time to invest in an alarm system for the elderly, plenty of good ones advertise on TV and are well known. But even without that alarm system, and even if the person is naked or has soiled themselves, call for help. You can notify the dispatcher at 911 that the person has dementia and is naked and if they might become hostile, let them know. They deal with this. They will cover him up and be sensitive to this situation. People are modest and you don't want to humiliate them but the ambulance deals with this all the time.
This video was so therapeutic in a weird way. We need more videos like this of people sharing their stories.
A new Careblazer story will be released every Tuesday! ❤️
I really appreciate this video. I also took care of my mom who had vascular dementia and now my husband has Alzheimers. This video confirmed a lot of things I've been trying to do and helps me to understand this diseases process and how to handle things. Thank you for your experience. It helps knowing I'm not alone in this.
Thank you soo much!
Thank you for sharing. My husband was diagnosed 4 years ago with dementia/Alzheimer’s.
We have been together 6 years and when we first got together he called me by his second wife’s name. I thought ok he’s still grieving for his second wife. Now I’m called by his first wife’s name. In the 6 years we have been together I can count on one hand the times he has called me by my name.
He knows I’m his wife but he doesn’t know my name. He is doing most of the things this woman’s husband is doing
Sending you love. ❤️
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Good story, sounds familiar haha watch all the docs videos, then all of teepa snows videos! Trust me........ you will understand. Between the 2 you will be in good shape
Good question about "What are you doing to help yourself?"
Oh I Know how dealing with husband with Luey Body. My husband a police officer for 33 years.He started with heart failure then oxygen then leaking leg than handing me a oxygen tube to fix coffee with.He forgot how to walk and had Sundowners where he was awake all night crawling into furniture and things. Luey Body is I think stronger faster than Alzheimer's but just like it in many ways. It was 5 years than he collapsed and 3 months hospitals until he died. During all that time I was calm and reassuring but when he died I broke down.
I hope you have come to a peaceful place.
God bless you.
Sending you so much love, Linda. ❤️
@@bushidooffaith4706 Thank you I am better but still trying to be at a quiet place.
@@kathym6603 Thank you
OMG this is EXACTLY what I am dealing with....My husband had a stroke but he loses his mind A LOT.
There is nothing wrong with asking for help 🙂 we all need help at sometime in our life's x
5:23 everyday you hear a different story about covid and the different vaccines...
Please tell me if stem cell therapy can cure this. My father is suffering from dementia and someone suggested stem cell therapy can cure this to much extent.
My mom with dementia can be following their daily routine when all of a sudden my mom will ask my dad (her husband) where her husband is. He repondes with, “I am your husband. He shows her pictures of the two of them, shows her his drivers license with the same address as hers etc. These attempts usually make her more anxious and upset but he doesn’t know what else to do. Can you please give me suggestions to share with my dad?
My wife had the covid shots and there was no additional decline that I noticed
That’s great to hear!
same with my husband, no decline.
Half of the people in my husband’s facility died from Covid, it was tragic.
My husband had his booster shot Nov 29 2021 Jan 1 2022
He died Jan 1 2022